Chapter Text
Seonghwa wakes with a start from what feels like the deepest sleep he’s ever gotten in his life, eyes flying open as he jolts in place. He’s lying on his stomach with his face mushed into a pillow—Not mine, he notes instantly because he just changed his to a silk set last night, but what’s worse is that he still recognizes exactly who’s pillow it is—and there’s a very warm, distinctly human weight on top of him, pinning him down.
There’s no way, he thinks to himself, heart rate picking up so fast he feels lightheaded, breaking out into a cold sweat. No way this happened. There’s no fucking way. No way, no way, no way—
He’s still disoriented from being dead asleep just seconds ago and too scared to move a muscle in case he wakes the one person he’s certain is lying on top of him, not ready to face reality just yet even if he remembers absolutely none of it. Still, there’s no denying it when Seonghwa can feel a familiar soreness in his muscles in places he knows can only happen in one way, the unmistakable stickiness to his skin that tells him they didn’t even wash up before passing out—something Seonghwa would never do sober—and a room he could recognize with his eyes closed because of the familiar smell of grapefruit and bergamot cologne, now tinged unmistakably with the scent of sex that he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to separate now.
It’s during this mid-panic processing that the man on top of him adjusts slightly in his sleep before freezing as instantly as Seonghwa when they both hiss aloud because—holy shit, he’s still inside! Seonghwa’s internal volume reaches a new high when the thick length inside him jostles and he can feel the trickle of what can only be a mixture of cum and lube leak down his perineum and onto his balls. He releases a whimper before he can stop it, unable to control his reaction to the borderline painful sensitivity, stunned that they didn’t even use a condom. He wonders how desperate he must have been last night to forgo one, especially since he always made sure to avoid any kind of mess.
“Fuck. Hwa?” Hongjoong’s alarmed raspy morning voice shatters the silence, still laced with sleep as panic and reality settles in for him a lot faster than it did the taller man under him.
“Joong,” Seonghwa half-whines, half-sobs in response, unsure how to navigate this situation. The world is spinning as the insane hangover he’s sure to have from being blackout drunk starts to haze over the initial shock of this moment, head throbbing and hot tears pricking his eyes. Despite the embarrassment Seonghwa is relieved that the other man is awake now so they can deal with whatever this was. “Joong what did we do?!”
“Holy fuck,” Hongjoong curses again, his normally extensive vocabulary forgotten in favor of taking action. He peels himself carefully up off Seonghwa’s back with his arms lifting as leverage, their bare skin unsticking uncomfortably and both of them groaning again when the younger’s cock finally slips out from where it had been nestled inside Seonghwa’s warm body. What was only a trickle a moment ago feels like it’s gushing out, and Seonghwa, who hadn’t comprehended how full he’d been until now, can feel it all leaking messily onto the bed. He instinctively tenses his lower body to stop the mess but winces when he can feel himself gaping, the painful twinge spreading into a dull throb as he whimpers again, a slickness between his legs he’s only ever experienced with lube and sex toys before. His skin grows unbearably hot, face burning and sweat gathering all over, able to feel Hongjoong’s eyes on where they had been connected probably all night. “Fuck, Hwa—”
“Don’t,” Seonghwa whines, covering his face with his hands despite still being mushed into the pillow, unable to decide if he’s more embarrassed or turned on at this point. While this is kind of his hottest wet dream, it was something he’s never felt comfortable enough to ask of his previous partners because the cleanup afterward never felt worth it. He was also never mentally prepared to go through this with Hongjoong of all people, not that Seonghwa hadn’t thought about it before. Hongjoong is a beautiful man after all, and if there was anyone he’d trust it would be him; except for the very important caveat that he’s also Seonghwa’s best friend since high school, his roommate since college, his platonic soulmate well into their late-twenties—platonic being up for debate now apparently, if something like this could happen while they were drinking together unsupervised. “What happened last night?”
When Hongjoong doesn’t immediately respond, Seonghwa pulls his hands away from his face and turns onto his side despite the pain in his waist to look up at his roommate, who is still hovering over him. The movement breaks Hongjoong’s mesmerised gaze from where he’d clearly still been staring at the mess he’d made of Seonghwa’s ass, disrupting whatever sleep-induced horny trance he was in. A new wave of heat makes its way down Seonghwa’s face and neck, the bright red flush spreading all the way to his sternum, a mix of embarrassment and lust he wasn’t expecting to feel through his massive hangover. “Kim Hongjoong!”
“... I think we both know exactly what happened,” Hongjoong finally answers the question with a slight rasp, swallowing to ease the dryness gripping his throat, groggy from exhaustion and likely feeling the effects of the hangover too. Still, his eyes are sharp as they scan over the rest of Seonghwa’s body, lingering around his neck and thighs; there’s something impish in his gaze that Seonghwa likes more than he’s willing to admit. There’s no way they’re lusting after each other right now after probably fucking all night—except that’s exactly what’s happening. Seonghwa never dreamed that the attraction could be reciprocated even the least considering Hongjoong’s dating history, and Seonghwa was never one to fight losing battles. “I’m not gonna lie, it looks like I mauled you. I don’t usually get this rough, but… fuck, I really can’t remember anything right now. We definitely drank way too much.”
They’ve drank together hundreds of times over the years, especially during college, and not once has it ever resulted in even a small kiss, let alone sex of all things. Despite their equal bewilderment, Seonghwa finds himself getting distracted now that he can look at the other man, eyes raking over Hongjoong’s appearance in the morning light filtering through the blinds. Narrow stripes of vibrant sunlight highlight the blond where he’s kneeling on the bed next to him, curving enticingly over every dip and bend of his body like it wants him to stare.
They’ve obviously seen each other in various states of undress before but he’s never actually looked at him with any sort of curiosity. Seonghwa has always tried to maintain some semblance of sanity knowing that Hongjoong is pretty much his type to a T, unwilling to pine after him any more than he already did, not that he’d ever admit it to himself or otherwise. He zeroes in briefly on the bite marks he left on Hongjoong’s shoulders, trailing over the defined chest he’s mostly familiar with and straight down to between his legs like his gaze is magnetized—and fuck no wonder Seonghwa’s lower back is throbbing. His face burns an even deeper shade of scarlet when he notices Hongjoong is still chubbed up, flushed cock slick from last night’s mixture of lube and cum and thicker at half-mast than any other dick Seonghwa has had inside him.
“Hwa?” Hongjoong’s voice breaks the taller man’s focus, clearly holding back a laugh. Seonghwa forcefully wrenches his eyes up and away with a startled gasp when he realizes he’s been caught, locking first on Hongjoong’s kiss-swollen lips, the familiar smirk quirking up the corners making Seonghwa’s stomach tense with heat before making contact with Hongjoong’s amused gaze. There’s something lethal about it, all traces of grogginess gone as it pins the older man in place.
“What? You were staring too,” Seonghwa squawks with indignation, futilely fighting his embarrassment as he curls into himself and slings his arms over his face to hide. Hongjoong chuckles at the reaction and Seonghwa feels every nerve in his body light on fire when the younger leans forward in one smooth movement, placing his hands on either side of Seonghwa’s head as if he did this everyday. The heat of Hongjoong’s skin is so close yet not quite touching, making Seonghwa shiver. He feels like caught prey when Hongjoong carefully pulls Seonghwa’s arms down from his face without much resistance, unable to look anywhere else but at Hongjoong’s pleased grin hovering just inches away. Seonghwa fights off an instinctual pout in order to retain some semblance of dignity, although he admittedly lost that when he woke up cockwarming the younger man (but that was just semantics).
“You can look some more, I don’t mind,” Hongjoong murmurs sympathetically, though there’s nothing sweet about the way he says it, the dangerous glint in his eyes even more intense up close. “I liked looking too.”
“What’s there to like, I’m sore all over!” Seonghwa gripes, heart pounding so hard that he can barely think. “Speaking of which, that thing shouldn’t be physically possible for someone your height! I can’t believe it even fit, my back is killing me.”
“Well it apparently fit last night,” Hongjoong quips back with a wolfish grin, eyes narrowing playfully in a way Seonghwa knows will follow with something out of pocket. “Actually just a few minutes ago it was—”
“Joong!” the taller man yelps, unable to take the teasing any longer.
They stare at each other for what feels like too long, the tension so thick it’s palpable. Seonghwa is hyper aware of how close they are at every point of their bodies, Hongjoong’s hot fingers wrapped tight around Seonghwa’s wrists where they’ve been pinned down next to his head—When did that even happen?!—and their faces only inches apart. They’re making more eye-contact in this moment than they probably have in the past ten plus years of knowing each other, the air crackling between them in an unexpectedly new way. Seonghwa can feel that they’re on the precipice of something huge, unsure of what exactly, and if they’re even ready for a change this big—whether or not they even should act on it. Anxiety starts to seize every inch of his thoughts the more he comes to terms with the fact that he slept with his best friend of all people, the only person in the world who understands him at his most vulnerable, the one he turns to when everything else is falling apart. Last time he checked, best friends do not fuck.
They should never have let this happen, putting their entire relationship at risk and for what exactly?
Hongjoong seems to be coming to the same conclusion, understanding each other well enough to read expressions as every last bit of sleep-deprivation-induced horniness fizzles out instantly at the look on Seonghwa’s face (Seonghwa wonders what expression he must have had on in this moment). The blond’s hands grow clammy as his grip loosens, mumbling something intelligible about cleaning up. Hongjoong looks flustered for the first time this morning as he lets go of the older’s wrists, straightening up again, sufficiently chastised for getting carried away. The tension has fully transformed into shared mortification and now a different kind of atmosphere starts to suffocate them.
“I’m gonna go shower!” Seonghwa forces out quickly as he turns over to get out of Hongjoong’s bed, deciding to leave it to the younger man to figure out what to do with his soiled sheets and the mess of their clothes strewn about Hongjoong’s room like a tornado blew by in the night. With a second of hesitation as he summons non-existent strength, Seonghwa heroically ignores the dull throb in lower body and tightness in his legs as he stands, feeling hot shame at the sensation of cum dribbling down his thighs and adding to the mess between his legs when he tries to take a step. He expectedly falters when his knee buckles, Hongjoong lurching to his feet to catch him. They stumble back a little onto the bed again, Seonghwa partially in the other man’s lap.
“Careful, Hwa,” Hongjoong tuts with concern, skin comfortingly warm against Seonghwa’s body where they’re pressed together, the strong hands on his waist feeling familiar in a new way that he never noticed before causing a spike of heat to travel from every point of contact between them to his dick. “Do you need me to—”
“No, I’m good!” Seonghwa replies with a higher pitch in a feeble attempt to sound unaffected as he wobbly stands again, using Hongjoong’s shoulder as leverage to quickly put some distance between them before he notices even more things about the younger man, like how unexpectedly firm and muscled his body is. Seonghwa’s second step is just as ungainly as before but he doesn’t keel over this time, which he takes as a win; he’s already resigned to the fate of sitting in the shower this morning, if he can even manage that. He feels Hongjoong’s eyes trail after him as he hobbles out of the room, unwilling to find out if it’s with concern or something else.
The second Seonghwa is in the hall and out of Hongjoong’s sight, he cups his hands between his thighs to keep from dripping onto the floor as he scrambles to his bedroom and into the attached bath as fast as his trembling legs can carry him. He glances at his reflection in the mirror only to double take with an audible gasp at the state of his body—dark hickeys leave huge possessive splotches on his neck and collarbones, trailing down his chest where bitemarks mar the sensitive skin around his nipples. Bruises in the shape of small, thick fingers dot waist and thighs, along with even more marks from Hongjoong’s mouth. Seonghwa now understands what Hongjoong meant by mauling, feeling hot again when he realizes he doesn’t mind them as much as he should. He looks so thoroughly fucked out that Seonghwa isn’t sure he’s ever looked quite this disheveled the morning after before in his life. He’s glad he waxed the other day because Hongjoong even left marks in places that decent company should never see, not that it matters, but at least it’s one less thing Seonghwa will be self-conscious about.
With a pained wince he climbs into the shower, turning the water to the hottest setting he can handle and finally letting out a deep sigh, relaxing for the first time since waking up this morning. It doesn’t last long however when he gets to scrubbing himself clean, feeling like he’ll never stop being embarrassed when he gingerly washes the cum out of his body. Even after a few minutes he’s unsure if he got it all, and he wonders not for the first time since waking just how many times they fucked in the span of one night while intoxicated. He’s aware they both were on a bit of a dry spell these past few months, with Hongjoong focused on finishing a debut album for a new boy group and Seonghwa helping his students prepare for the college spring fashion show, but they must have been seriously pent up.
When he really tries hard to think about it, embarrassing hazy memories come to the surface, most of it involving him doing a lot of whimpering and moaning shamelessly, and it makes Seonghwa grimace and pray Hongjoong never remembers any of it. In all honesty, they probably should talk about it. Seonghwa can vividly remember how good it felt, almost too good, and the pain he’s in now is more the good kind of sore than anything. It’s unfortunate he can’t recall much but he feels satiated regardless, and with all that pent up sexual frustration gone… maybe they didn’t need to talk about it after all. It was a one time thing anyway, and now that they know what it feels like to have sex with each other, that curiosity is sated. If they don’t tell anyone else, it’ll be like it never happened. Either way, the last thing he wants is a friends with benefits arrangement, least of all with Hongjoong who Seonghwa cares too much about. He’s always been too much of a romantic at heart to go through something like that without catching feelings, and if he ruins their friendship he’d never be able to forgive himself.
Despite all the compartmentalizing Seonghwa just went through in the shower, he’s still anxious to face Hongjoong as he slowly dries off and gets dressed in his room. It takes two to tango after all, and just because Seonghwa made a decision on his own doesn’t mean anything if the other sees it differently. If he hadn’t seen the way Hongjoong was looking at him like he wanted to eat him alive earlier, Seonghwa would have convinced himself into thinking he’d already ruined everything. He still finds it hard to believe Hongjoong is attracted to him at all considering his type has always been people shorter than him with cute, clingy personalities. It left no room in Seonghwa’s mind to even feel bad if he knew from the start he never had a chance, so this was all new territory for him; his pride would take a devastating hit if Hongjoong said anything about him being convenient and willing, because Seonghwa was definitely willing, and a drunk Seonghwa was even more so.
Seonghwa peers outside his room and listens carefully to hear if Hongjoong has already come outside of his room. The telltale sounds coming from the kitchen and the smell of something burnt confirms what he was already certain of, and with a steadying deep breath he apprehensively trudges down the hallway towards his roommate. Hongjoong startles from where he’d been filling up a glass of water from the fridge, nearly dropping it when Seonghwa turns the corner, their eyes locking and both of them freezing in place as if they weren’t expecting this to happen. After a beat of awkward silence, the blond breaks eye contact first, clearing his throat and signalling towards the bar counter where there are two steaming bows of what looks like juk.
“Um, we had some leftover rice in the fridge,” Hongjoong explains, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hungry?”
The interaction is casual enough and typical of something they usually do that Seonghwa breaks into a small relieved grin and nods enthusiastically. “Starving.”
If both of them visibly relax and giggle off the rest of their nerves as they shuffle to their respective seats next to each other, happy to pretend nothing happened, no one is there to call them out.