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All it took was Clark striding through the double doors of the study for Lex to know something was seriously wrong. The Kansas farmboy had traded in his plaid for a sharp black suit, not unlike Lex’s own, and his face was twisted into a hard expression Lex had never imagined could have found a home on Clark’s gentle face. As Clark announced in a cold, unfamiliar voice that he’d left home, that his destiny wasn’t here in Smallville, Lex’s mind whirred through the possibilities. Had Clark fought with his parents? Could that possibly be enough to make him act this way? Was this some sort of mental instability making itself known, a personality disorder, disassociation?
When Clark declared that “you have no idea what I’m capable of,” Lex could not agree more. He’d had no idea that this kind of uncaring malice that seemed to shadow Clark’s every movement, every word, was something his friend was capable of. Lex realized that the best way to cut to the heart of the matter was to play along.
“If my father wants the mansion so much…” Lex began, standing to move closer to Clark, who watched him with a cool interest, “he can have it. I never wanted to live in Smallville anyway.”
“You can come with me.” Clark’s eyes flashed, and Lex tried to ignore the way Clark’s eagerness to run away with him made his heart constrict violently beneath his ribs.
“No one’s using the penthouse in Metropolis, we can stay there.”
“Clark Kent and Lex Luthor…” Clark’s eyes cut towards Lex, making his pulse stutter with the sheer force of the unexpected heat behind that gaze. “I like the sound of that.”
Those words were all the warning Lex had before Clark was suddenly in his space, hands grasping at Lex’s waist, and his mouth slamming against Lex’s.
Clark’s lips were hot and insistent against his and Lex’s body responded before his brain had a chance to catch up: his arms wrapping around Clark’s broad shoulders and one of his hands tangling deep in his hair. There was a rush of movement and he felt the sharp bite of one of the study’s stone walls digging into his back as Clark pressed him against it, his tongue still ruthlessly plundering Lex’s mouth. Lex’s head started to swim, and it took him too long to realize he needed to breathe – he pushed weakly at Clark’s shoulders to no avail, his friend’s body a long, hard line of immovable granite against him. Clark finally seemed to catch on after a too-long moment of struggle, releasing his death grip and letting Lex gasp for air. His eyes flew open to find his vision swimming, shimmering black along the edges from the lack of oxygen. And Clark – Clark didn’t seem to be affected at all, his eyes glowing brightly, the irises seeming to flash blood red for a moment, there and gone again in a blink. Lex sucked in lungfuls of air and watched Clark watch him with a hungry gaze, Lex’s brain stumbling along trying to figure out what had just happened, and why the arrival of something Lex had been wishing for for years was so…disturbing. Unsettling. Wrong.
“Clark…” Lex began, soft and tentative, not sure what might set Clark off again (though part of him wanted to push and make sure whatever had snapped inside of Clark stayed broken).
“Lex,” Clark replied, his voice a harsh, twisting sneer of his normal gentle tone. “Don’t talk. That’s usually what gets you into all sorts of trouble.” Lex bristled, and Clark’s grin widened, making the pit in Lex’s stomach burn cold with fear. Whoever it was embracing him now – if being slammed against a wall could be considered an embrace – it wasn’t Clark. Or rather, it was, and there was something seriously wrong with him.
Best to play this smart, Lex counseled himself, pushing down on the panic rising in his throat and threatening to choke him. Yes, Clark was…special. Strong. Probably not someone Lex could take in one-on-one, hand-to-hand combat. But Clark didn’t have the same way with words that Lex prided himself on, and even if Lex’s mouth had gotten him into trouble before, as Clark said, his silver tongue had gotten him back out of a fair share of it too.
“I just was wondering if we could take this somewhere…more comfortable.” Lex dragged a finger along Clark’s cheekbone, giving him the most seductive gaze he was capable of. Clark’s eyes flashed again as his grip tightened over the line from rough into painful on Lex’s waist.
“That can be arranged,” Clark murmured against Lex’s lips as he pulled him slowly away from the wall, dragging Lex along as if the weight of a grown man was nothing.
Lex pressed two fingers to Clark’s lips when he leaned in to try and recapture Lex’s. “But, before that, I’m going to have to go and take care of a few things.”
Clark growled, and the sound was equal parts arousing and terrifying. “What things? I think the Luthor empire will get along fine without you for a few hours.”
“I’m sure it will,” Lex agreed easily, his tone soothing, “but if I don’t make a few calls, tie up some loose ends at the office, then we’ll certainly be interrupted.” Lex arched a delicate eyebrow. “And we don’t want to be interrupted, do we?”
Clark’s grin got impossibly more dangerous, his canines glinting wickedly and sending a shiver down Lex’s spine. “No,” Clark agreed, finally freeing Lex from the iron circle of his arms, “we don’t.”
“Right. You can just wait here, and I’ll be back before you know it.” Lex started to back cautiously towards the exit, and Clark observed every step with the sharp eyes of a predator – a man at the top of the food chain, and well aware of it. As Lex reached the door, he turned to twist the handle, and as his eyes left Clark there was another whoosh of air and he found himself crowded against the doorframe by Clark’s heat, somehow moved across the room in the space of a second.
“I’ll be waiting,” Clark growled, and his words held the darkest, richest kind of promise. “And when you get back…I’m going to take you upstairs, tear this ridiculous tailored suit of yours to pieces, and make you beg.”
Lex’s heart skipped a beat, and he seriously considered abandoning his plan of escape in favor of staying and experiencing the delicious disaster that Clark was offering. So, for just a moment, Lex threw caution to the wind as he leaned in to capture Clark’s lips in a searing kiss, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t be their last. Clark responded in kind, and when they pulled apart this time, Lex wasn’t the only one short of breath.
“Hurry,” Clark intoned, his breath hot against Lex’s skin. And as Lex nodded and made to leave, he thought he caught just a glimpse of his friend’s usual natural warmth flickering beneath the fire in his eyes, and Lex was briefly hopeful for the future of whatever had ignited between them in this bout of madness.
*****
Lex’s subsequent trip to the Kent farm to inform Clark’s family of his odd behavior went about as well as could be expected – Mr. Kent quickly assured Lex, or rather, stated with no room for creative interpretation, that the Kent family business was the Kent family business and no Luthor had any place in it.
So, his offers of help categorically and characteristically rebuffed, Lex got in his car and drove off, debating what he should do next. By now, Clark would certainly have figured out that Lex wasn’t living up to his word, and that could spell serious trouble. Was Clark messed up enough (on drugs, perhaps, Lex mused, through substance abuse didn’t fit with his image of Clark) to truly threaten Lex’s safety? The bruises on Lex’s back from his rough treatment in the study certainly seemed to evidence the likely possibility of just that. So the next question was then: where should Lex go? Would Clark have abandoned the mansion, or would he still be waiting to express his ire? Did his interest in Lex run deep enough to bother with that, or would he have already run off to find someone else to play with? Lex decided that one way or the other, a return to the mansion was the best option. After all, he could hardly avoid Clark forever, especially given his special abilities, the nature of which Lex was still unclear on, but which Clark had seemed far more comfortable flaunting in his altered state.
But, when Lex stepped cautiously into his study, he found it deserted…with a few minor adjustments to the feng shui of the place. Namely, the pool table had been moved – thrown? – into the opposite wall, the wood finish cracked where it had slammed into the stone with such force that the rock was dented, grey dust coating the floor below. Lex had barely finished surveying the odd scene when his father tumbled into the room, his cane swinging wildly, followed by a team of security people.
“Dad? What happened here?” Lionel spun towards the sound off Lex’s voice.
“Lex! Are you alright, son?”
“I’m fine,” Lex easily avoided his father’s hands, searching out to grab hold of him. “I just got back.”
“Thank goodness. I was worried you might have run into that agent, or that Kent boy.”
“That Kent boy? Clark?” Lex allowed himself to be captured by his father’s grasping hands, letting him squeeze his shoulders in a patently false show of parental concern. “What happened to Clark?”
“I, I don’t know, he was here, and I came in, and he was quite rude, and then some other man, a government agent, I believe, came in, and then there were gun shots –”
“What? Was anyone hurt? Where’s Clark now?” Lex’s eyes flew around the room as if his friend would suddenly materialize from between the bookshelves lining the walls.
“He, he must be gone, after the shots I heard a crash, I think he went after the agent…”
Good God, Lex thought, as if this day wasn’t insane enough. Now Clark was dodging bullets and going after the men that fired them?
“I’ve gotta find him,” Lex muttered, pushing away from his father uncaringly, already dialing numbers and checking out government contacts in his mind.
“Lex, wait! That boy is dangerous…” But Lex was already out the door, paying even less mind than usual to his father’s warnings. Yes, Clark was most certainly dangerous, and that was exactly why Lex had to find him; to stop him before he did anything he’d regret when his sanity returned.
In the end, however, Lex’s contacts turned up zilch on whatever “agent” had been in the mansion that afternoon, and when Lex called the Kent farm after a few hours of fruitless searching for his rogue friend, he discovered that Clark had been home for over an hour, and was quite well, according to his mother.
“Oh, no, Clark just had a…a bit of a rough day,” she assured Lex in an entirely unconvincing manner, “he’s back to his usual self now. He didn’t…did he, um, do anything? When he was, uh, under the weather? Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m perfectly fine, Mrs. Kent,” Lex lied smoothly, as if he his lips didn’t still burn periodically with the ghost of the memory of Clark’s touch, “Just worried about Clark, that’s all, he was acting…very odd.” To put it incredibly mildly, Lex didn’t add.
“Well, that’s very kind of you, Lex, I’ll make sure Clark knows you were asking about him. Goodbye!” The line clicked off before Lex could utter another word, and he snapped his cell shut with a sigh. Well, it looked like he was going to have to make one of his trademark unannounced visits to the Kent farm to get some answers.
His Porsche roared up to the barn not long after he hung up the phone with Martha. Lex bypassed the house, heading straight for Clark’s loft, and – yes, there was that familiar silhouette, looking the way it should in traditional red and blue. Lex took a moment to enjoy the view, the way the sunlight framed Clark’s perfect figure, the radiance befitting his person. Lex shook himself before he could wax too poetic, heading up the steps quietly to join Clark. Lex was almost beside him before Clark startled and turned towards him. His face broke into a beautiful smile, and the misgivings Lex had still been holding in his heart disappeared. This was Clark. That soft, almost silly, sometimes shy smile was his and his alone, and Lex hadn’t realized until now that he’d missed its absence, however brief.
“Hey, Lex,” Clark greeted him easily, leaning back against the edge of the window. “What brings you here?”
Lex’s eyes narrowed as he inspected Clark’s features for any traces of guile. Finding none, he came to the tentative conclusion that Clark’s memory of the day must be…well, incomplete, to say the least.
“I just came by to see that you were feeling better,” Lex told him casually, mirroring Clark’s stance by leaning against the loft window’s opposite edge.
Clark blanched slightly, his mouth opening and shutting for a moment before he stuttered out, “Oh, uh, right. My dad said I…went to the mansion.”
“That you did,” Lex answered easily, keeping his expression schooled into careful neutrality.
“I’m sorry if I…did or said something, uh, weird. I don’t actually remember much about today. I had a…a really bad reaction to some cold medicine.”
“I’ll say,” Lex replied, not bothering to hide his incredulity. Clark’s answering grimace seemed to say that he knew it was a terrible lie, and he regretted not being able to say more. Or at least, that’s how Lex chose to interpret it, since the other explanation was that Clark expected Lex to actually believe the ludicrous tales he spun, and that would be a serious insult to Lex’s intelligence. Lex sighed, and let his lips curl into a small smile, hoping that would communicate to Clark that he knew that Clark knew that Lex didn’t believe him – but that it was ok. He’d grown more patient during his time in Smallville, and he could wait for Clark to open up to him…to a point. If Clark had another “cold medicine” induced attack of the crazies, then Lex figured he’d be quite in his rights to demand an explanation, a real one, no holds barred.
“Did I…do something, Lex?” Clark asked, his tone cautious and his brows pulled together in concern. “My dad said you warned him that I was acting weird…” Clark’s eyes widened and he took a step closer to Lex, his hands drifting upwards as if to check Lex for injuries, but he pulled back at the last moment. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No,” Lex quickly assured him. “Nothing like that. You just…weren’t yourself.”
“Oh. Yeah,” Clark’s shoulders twitched in a movement that was part shrug and part cringe, “I’m sorry. Like, really sorry, for whatever happened. It wasn’t me, not the real me.”
Lex nodded stiffly, unable to suppress a feeling akin to rage or maybe loss at Clark’s words. If he really didn’t remember, then he wasn’t trying to be cruel, he wasn’t trying to say that wanting Lex wasn’t something the “real” Clark felt, or could ever feel…but if he did remember…
“So you don’t remember any of it…” Lex pushed off from the wall, insinuating himself carefully, deliberately into Clark’s personal space.
“I, uh, not really…” Clark stuttered, a blush rising in his cheeks as Lex stood very pointedly too close, his features marshalled into perfect nonchalance.
Lex raised his hand slowly, calculating the risks involved in the action even as he reached to gently stroke one finger along Clark’s cheekbone. He didn’t say anything as he lifted his eyes to meet Clark’s, which were so big and so green, and currently huge with shock. Then Clark blinked, and for the second time that day, leaned forward to capture Lex’s lips in a kiss.
This time, Clark was so much gentler. His hands were soft and his mouth was softer, and Lex gasped into the kiss, his heart thudding too fast in his chest as sank in Clark’s warm embrace. After a few moments of bliss, Lex found himself suddenly bereft of Clark’s touch, opening his eyes to see Clark standing a few feet away, eyes preternaturally huge and looking completely shell shocked.
“I…I think I remember…” Clark trailed off, his hands twitching spasmodically at his sides, as his feet shuffled as if recalling the steps they’d taken earlier.
Lex held up his hands, palms out and open, trying to radiate calm despite the fact that his mental and emotional security had thrown up a red alert, complete with screaming klaxons. “Clark, it’s alright, it’s all okay…”
“But Lex, I…I hurt you. I grabbed you and, and you looked scared…” The horror and revulsion in Clark’s tone was too much for Lex to bear, and he strode forward to take Clark’s shoulders firmly in his hands.
“Clark. It is okay. You didn’t hurt me. You just…surprised me.” Lex took a deep breath before continuing, trying to choose his words carefully, “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. Nothing I wouldn’t want to do…now.” Clark’s gaze was so serious, his eyes locked with Lex’s, and for once his open book of a face was shut, and Lex couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Now, a new panic was spiking in the back of Lex’s throat, entirely different from the one born of Clark’s earlier violence, because he could deal with Clark getting rough, but he couldn’t deal with Clark getting gone.
“Unless, of course, you didn’t want to do…what you did…” Lex let his hands fall and took a measured step back. “If that wasn’t you, and the real you doesn’t…doesn’t want…” He couldn’t make himself say it. He couldn’t put that fear into words, not when he was this close to having everything…
“It wasn’t me…” Clark shook his head, like he was trying to shake the fog from it, “but it wasn’t…not me.” Lex cocked an eyebrow at that contradiction, and Clark shook his head more forcefully, his hands shooting out to take Lex’s forearms and tug him closer. “What I’m trying to say is, it wasn’t just because I was…not myself. The, you know, everything. That,” Clark gently cupped Lex’s face with a warm hand, “that was all me.”
Lex nuzzled Clark’s hand, hoping fervently that he understood what he was saying, but unable to stop himself from asking for confirmation, “And ‘everything’ is…what exactly?”
Clark huffed a laugh, and his lips turned up in a teasing smile, and then he was leaning in again, and Lex pressed into the kiss with desire just shy of desperation. Clark laughed against his mouth before wrapping his arms more tightly around Lex, holding him close to his chest. They broke apart for air and Clark rested his forehead against Lex’s. “That is…part of the everything.” He smiled a soft, small smile and Lex reveled in it, smiling back and positively aching with so much feeling and so much change in so little time. A thought occurred to him, and he couldn’t help a mischievous note from seeping into his tone as he whispered against Clark’s lips, “so, that’s just part of the everything?”
Clark coughed out a surprised laugh, and his eyes took on a matching playful note. “Well, you can’t expect to get everything all at once.”
“Then,” Lex pulled out his most wolfish grin, “you’re not going to tear off my suit and make me beg?”
Clark’s mouth fell open and a blush exploded into his cheeks with impressive speed. Lex allowed himself a small chuckle as he leaned forward to press a finger under Clark’s chin, gently tapping his gaping mouth shut.
Lex pulled back his hand and stepped slowly out of the circle of Clark’s arms, shrugging in a show of exaggerated casualness, “Maybe next time.”
Clark’s face fell, his hands reaching out for Lex, “Are you leaving?” Lex paused, taking Clark’s proffered hands. “I can stay…but it’s nearly dinnertime, don’t you want to be with your family?”
“Yes, I do…that’s why I want you to stay.” It felt like the breath had been punched out of Lex’s chest, and he clutched almost violently at Clark’s hands, needing them to hold himself steady as the entire world did a complete 180 around him.
“I…you…” Lex didn’t have the words ready, he wasn’t ready, not for this, how could he ever be ready for this…?
“Whoa, calm down Lex. I wasn’t trying to freak you out,” Clark reeled him in closer, worry spreading through the lines of his perfect face.
“You didn’t, I just….” Lex did not have the words, but he knew one way he could express how he was feeling, and that was to throw and arm around Clark’s neck and drag him in for a crushing kiss, more of a clash of bodies than anything more nuanced, but it worked. Pressed tight together, the tension in Lex’s frame drained away and his heartbeat slowed to a more reasonable, if still faster than usual, pace.
“I’ll make you a deal,” Clark murmured as Lex moved to nose at the tender skin under his jaw, “You stay for dinner, and I’ll promise to never turn into scary, Robo-Clark again.”
Lex laughed, “Deal! Except for that suit you were wearing…” Lex slid a hand slowly down Clark’s front, reveling in the firm muscle there, “that suit looked good, it can stay.”
“Actually…I had to return the suit,” Clark winced.
“Then I will buy you a new one.”
“Lex, you can’t just buy people stuff like that…”
“First of all: of course I can. Second of all: I thought you said we were family? Can’t I buy nice things for my family?” Lex smirked, sure of his triumph. Clark squinted, as if trying to find a flaw in the logic. Finding none, he sighed and smiled, reluctant but kind.
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re going to do everything in your power to spoil me rotten?”
“Uh, because you have very good instincts?”
“Alright,” Clark took Lex’s hand and tugged him towards the stairs, twining their fingers together easily, “I’ll let you buy me things, but no jewelry. That’s a deal breaker.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a story behind that?”
“Because there is. You just lived it today.”
Lex halted abruptly, bringing them to a stop in the middle of the barn and examining Clark’s expression closely. “Are you trying to tell me that an accessory played a causal role in your alarming personality transplant from earlier?”
“I….kinda am.”
“Well.” Lex just stood there, stumped. “I think we have a lot to talk about.”
“Yes, we do,” Clark answered softly, and there was something sad and haunted in his eyes that didn’t belong in the countenance of someone so young.
Lex nodded, and then tipped forward on his toes to press one, chaste kiss to Clark’s lips. “So, note to self: no jewelry for Clark, or beware the consequences.”
“Really, Lex, I don’t need you to buy things for me at all…I mean, yeah, it’s fun to have nice stuff, but in the end…” Clark’s gaze dropped to the ground, and he shuffled his feet awkwardly, “in the end, you’re all I want.”
Lex was silent, and Clark seemed to take that as disapproval, since he quickly added, still addressing his shoes, “which is super terrible and cheesy, I know…”
“Well, yes, it absolutely was,” Lex broke in, reaching out to take Clark’s face in both his hands, lifting it so their eyes met. “But it was also very much you. And honestly, that’s all I want, too.”
Clark’s smile spreading across his face was like a sunrise, but the pain and doubt that raced across it moments later heralded rough weather ahead. “You know, Lex, even though that wasn’t…me, this afternoon….that guy is still a part of me. A part I try and fight, and control, but still…he’s there. He’s in here.” Clark tapped his chest, above his heart, and Lex took his hand, gripping it tight in both of his.
“But don’t you see, Clark? That’s part of what makes this perfect. You know that I’ve got a dark side…you’ve seen it. And now that I’ve seen yours, well, it sort of…bonds us together.”
“Hmm,” Clark tilted his head, his thumb running absentmindedly across Lex’s fingers as he considered, “Bonded together, you and me.”
Clark’s words reminded Lex of something other-Clark had said, and it brought a smile to his lips as he paraphrased those words that had stirred something deep inside him those many tumultuous hours ago: “Clark Kent and Lex Luthor. Do you like the sound of that?
Clark’s thoughtful expression slid into a blinding smile as he raised Lex’s hands to his lips to press a warm kiss to them and replied, “I really do.”