Work Text:
Warning: Implied self-harm.
It had been a long time since he had last smoked.
He was not in the habit of smoking, he only did so on days when he had enough time to ponder over this cluttered life. Saying “enough” because even in his dreams, he did not dare to think that he would have enough time to indulge in such reflections.
Besides, he did not want to add illness to his exhausted body, which had been squeezed out for the Church. (Well, capitalism.)
Today was a rare day: a day when he did not come home so late that he had to skip the shower just to eat for sustenance and then buried himself in the bed, only to be haunted by memories of the day he had worked for Blackrock, conducting experiments that could not be more inhumane, but had never been exposed due to the backup of the authority.
Today was also not the day he saw himself in the mirror, his hands pinching the self-harm wounds on his left biceps, so deep that they were torn open, creating deeper, harder-to-heal scars. Although it was true that today had left him quite exhausted, he had not yet reached his limit like that day.
While letting his mind drift with the smoke, he instantly put out the cigarette when a knock came on the door.
He sighed. Who would come at this hour?
But before he could turn away from the balcony, the door banged open, accompanied by a joyful call that he was all too familiar with:
- Med!
It was Sword, his “bosom” brother, who had accompanied him for six years. Of course it was the swordsman, because who else would visit him? Medkit indeed still had a few other relationships in this barren desert, but Scythe was his boss, and the two of them only discussed some “business-y” stuff over the phone. He had no intention of socializing with the cunning broker, who always accompanied the boss, either. Everything was just at work level.
He replied in a monotonous tone:
- … Sword.
- What brings you here?
- Of course to visit you!
In contrast to the gloom evidenced on Medkit's face and tone, the swordsman still kept his smile brightened. He was too familiar with this attitude of the doctor.
- Med, listen! Today was a wild ride! I was going to phights as usual, and then—oh, did you smoke?
As the scent of cigarettes still lingered in the air, the older one still wanted to maintain his "exemplary" image in front of his younger brother.
He clarified:
- I did not. Must be something burning outside.
Sword nodded but then glanced around the room (in pure curiosity). He caught sight of an object on the balcony and pointed towards the direction:
- So that ashtray is not yours?
Medkit was speechless. Damn it, he should have put it away as soon as he heard the knock on the door.
Well, the ship had sailed. The doctor remained silent, implicitly confirming the action, but he had no intention of arguing back in his current state either.
He let the swordsman continue, hearing a laugh from:
- Come on, Med, a little smoke won’t be the end of me!
Of course Medkit knew that, but how could he just casually smoke in front of him? Sword was still young, still needed a healthy body and mind to fulfill countless ambitions. Throughout the years they spent together, he had always been the one who worried about his health more, as if it was a natural thing. And this time was no different.
- Not much, but it still gets to you.
He continued, just like a doctor advising his patient:
- It’s your health that comes first.
The swordsman was now leaning against the balcony, sitting through all his lecturing. He could not help but feel annoyed, but also worried for the doctor’s both physical and mental health. After all, he was just like everyone else, who did not want to see their loved ones suffer because of them, not even wanting that person to worry about them so much that they neglect themself. If his health was so important, then why was it not his brother’s?
He hated this feeling, and hated it even more when he could not do anything to help.
The only thing he could do now to release this exasperation was to ask the doctor, but in disbelief:
- Then why do you still smoke when I'm not here?
The other man remained silent, looking into the night sky before them. It was dark and empty, just like his tone at the moment:
- … Didn’t know my health was that important.
- I don’t want this habit rubbing off on you, Sword. You’re still young, you have ambitions, and you need the strength to carry them out. I can't let these cigarettes affect you.
- I’ve already chosen to drain myself with this church’s workload, so those cigars to me are nothing, no more than a mechanism to ease my mind.
- There’s nothing good about letting you see me smoking, is there?
- What’s about that then?!
The swordsman shouted, not paying attention to the other man’s indifferent gaze towards him.
Medkit was used to his younger brother not accepting such unhealthy, self-neglecting thoughts. He didn't want to add insult to injury, so he chose to remain silent, once again, and let Sword continue his scolding instead, though this time his voice was more considerate:
- It's because I'm already healthy, I'm not afraid of the smoke, am I? Besides, have you ever encouraged me to smoke? How could I be affected?
He changed into a more certain tone:
- Med, I'm twenty-four. I know what I have to do.
His words were not wrong, but the doctor could not help but be skeptical of them. How could he know how much of what he said were wise words and how much were empty excuses?
- Yes, I know you are. But at an age when you were supposed to have a clear understanding of yourself, you called the combination between you and Rocket "Dynamic Duo" or some stupid name that even made him shake his head in dismay. Even though he was spawned two years after you, in front of him, you're no different than a kid playing the superhero game who was still wet behind the ears.
Not letting his brother a second to argue back, he continued:
- At this age, you cried to your best friend that your “precious brother” had died while I went to Lost Temple for a couple of days without notice. It's true that I've never left quietly like that, but you're jumping to conclusions without even stopping by my apartment, are you not? Do you think I'm that easy to die?!
This time, it was the swordsman’s turn to be speechless and resentful, just like how the doctor was when being asked about the cigarette. Medkit was right. He was still very naive, even when he previously barged into his brother’s house without permission or warning other than a knock on the door had also proven it.
But that did not mean he would let him peck at his ego like that.
- So now that being childish means I can’t care about you, huh?
Sword crossed his arms, turning his grimacing face towards the older one. He did not want his generosity to give in to the doctor's harsh words. His compassion towards the doctor had been there all these years, although it sometimes became overly zealous and caused him trouble sometimes, but that did not mean it would change or disappear. They both understood that better than anyone, it was just that he had underestimated this boy.
He laughed at the younger one's gesture. A faint one, but it was rare for him to show some emotions in front of someone.
- Sword, I didn't deny your “noble sacrifice", did I? After all, who can stop you from worrying about others?
- It's true that your words made me somewhat skeptical. But hey, that doesn't mean I don't trust you. It's just that... I was a little surprised.
He paused, then hesitantly continued:
- … Thank you.
He still smiled, but this time it was genuine. He blushed a little, as his eyes seemed to have a glimmer of light when he spoke.
But before long, that smile was stamped out, replaced by a frown. Because facing him was a Sword with sparkling eyes and a bright smile. The moment his face lit up, he knew there was no escaping this.
- Oh Medkit!!
A tight hug coming from the other figure attacked him.
- H-hey! Sword!
The doctor did not have time to react. Now being nestled in his arms, the swordsman bent down, burying his head in the doctor’s shoulder.
- Why all of a sudden…
He pushed the swordsman’s shoulders away, as the other followed that direction, moving his hand from the older one’s back to his biceps, inadvertently touching the wounds that had not yet healed.
The touch was not uncanny to Medkit. Sword’s hands were callous but gentle, they seemed to be healing his physical wounds and his soul’s as well.
Coming back down to Earth, he saw the younger one pull himself closer:
- I thought you would scold me again. Who could have thought you would thank me? That’s so sweet of you!
With that, Sword leaned forward, pulling him into another hug.
Luckily this time, Medkit reacted promptly. Following Sword's momentum, he instinctively stepped back for balance, bearing their bodies’ weight.
But his legs would not hold on for long. He intended to pat his back to separate them but was bombarded by a whirlwind of actions from the swordsman.
He tightened his arms, rubbing his face against the older one’s shoulder, despite his efforts to stop him. He then swung both of them left and right and finally yelped out before stopping completely because of the doctor’s intense hits on his back.
- Stop, stop, that’s enough! Let go, Sword! Let go!
He finally pulled away but did not forget to smile as he put his hands on his hips, acting proud.
The doctor sighed, one hand leaning on the balcony railing, the other on his forehead, helpless:
Did you try to “heal me” or “heal me with a hammer”, Sword!? You said that you are concerned, are worried, about me, but why do you keep turning me around like a top??
He paused, letting out a slight hiss since his legs and back were aching after having to endure the "attack" just now, then continued:
- Pressing your big body against me, squeezing unacceptably tight, you want me to suffocate ‘til death or what?
- Hehe, apologies!
The younger brother shyly scratched his head.
- It’s your fault that you made me so happy!
But it seemed like he would not learn from his mistake.
The doctor could not help but laugh at the action. If it were usual, he would probably rebuke him for joking around like that. But that was how his brother cared for others, how could he blame him?
The doctor only reminded:
- Control yourself next time. Don’t get too excited and get yourself into anything stupid, got it?
The swordsman argued back:
- Oh my Swords, Med, relax! Of course I will! I'm not gonna start any chaos!
Medkit, with no intention of yielding to him, replied:
- How could I not know that? But didn’t you just shake me violently while we were on the balcony, an open space? Who knows if you'll throw me off?
The younger one laughed at his playful words:
- Hey! Say nonsense!
Perhaps Medkit still needed more time to actually believe and share everything with him. But for now, this was fine.
He took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, pulled out a cigarette, held the tip in his mouth, and cupped his hand in front of him, while the other hand lit it with an old, long-time-unused lighter.
The smoke drifted away into the windy night sky. Puffs of smoke carried away worries, leaving the two figures chatting, close and warm.