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Mikey finally joined them at the table, setting his creation down with a flourish.
"Artichoke soup! The recipe was bland so I added cranberries for flavor and oysters for protein."
Raph pushed his half-eaten ham sandwich away from himself. "I think I just lost my appetite."
Venus glanced up from her own food, concerned. Perhaps he was sick? "But you iust said you were hungry enough to eat a horse."
"Yeah, well a horse is one thing," Raph replied, "Mikey's cooking is another."
Donnie covered his nose. "Did you have to microwave it? Now everything smells like--whatever that is."
"I was melting the cheese," Mikey said with dignity.
"Ah, of course. The cheese," Donnie exchanged a significant look with Raph.
Venus frowned heavily at both of them. They were often too quick to dismiss Michelangelo. She glanced at Leo, hoping for a little more maturity from him.
He looked positively sick, sitting far back from the table and covering his mouth.
"Let's go for pizza," Donnie suggested, already standing. Raph and Leo shot out of their seats, no convincing needed.
"You should not be so wasteful," Master Splinter protested, "We have plenty of food here at home."
"I don't know if we can call what Mikey does food," Raph reasoned.
"It would be more wasteful to eat here, throw up, and then go out for pizza, right?" Donnie pressed.
Master Splinter sighed in silent acquiescence. Venus scowled. The smell wasn't that bad, there was no need to be rude. Although, in fairness, Leo did look as if he might throw up if he didn't get some fresh air soon.
"You coming Venus?" Raph clapped her on the shoulder.
"No," she said with dignity, "I want to try the artichoke soup."
Even Mikey looked startled by that choice.
"Seriously?" he asked. "Because you don't have to. I know I have an advanced palette, food like this is not for everyone."
"I have tried all kinds of strange foods since coming here," she replied confidently. "I'm not going to turkey out now."
"No, no--Venus," Donnie leaned forward to make himself visible, "This isn't American food, this is Mikey food. Completely different category. You didn't grow up with him, you don't know what he's capable of."
She squared her shoulders, the comment about not having grown up with him unexpectedly brushing a nerve. "You don't know what I'm capable of either! And if I had grown up with Mikey, at least I would have tried his food, instead of acting like a crying baby!"
"I tried it," Leo croaked, "Once."
He swayed on his feet. Raph grabbed him around the shoulders. "Let's get you out of here. Just think about pepperoni and nice clean soda."
Donnie hesitated for another moment, part of him still wanting the last word with Venus. She crossed her arms stubbornly to show she wasn't going anywhere, and he hurried to help Raph with Leo.
The soup was not good. In fact it was bad.
But it wasn't even half as bad as the others had made it out to be, and it was nice to have a bit of time with just Michelangelo and Splinter.
Besides, she would never forget the look on his face when she swallowed down a bite without complaint and offered him an encouraging smile.
She'd never known what she was missing by not having any brothers.
*
Someone was so agitated she was finding it difficult to meditate. When she emerged from her room, the culprit was immediately obvious.
Leo was pacing, around the kitchen table, up to the entrance, through the living room and then back to the table. He gave Raph and Mikey's card game a wide berth, but they still stopped and watched as he passed, as though he might pounce on them. He paused at Donnie's computer, looking over his shoulder briefly before resuming his route.
He seemed so deeply troubled.
"Leonardo," Venus tried to pull him from his evidently tumultuous thoughts. He ignored her. She stepped into his path.
"Leo, what's wrong?!"
Donnie half-turned in his chair, answering before Leo had even registered the question. "He's not hurting anyone. He's just pacing."
His tone and lingering stare dared her to question it further. A quick glance at the others revealed a similar, though much better hidden, protectiveness over Leo's behavior.
Her gaze softened as something clicked into place. She'd seen his brothers help him through panic attacks before. Gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder, she repeated, "What's wrong?"
Leo waved his hands out in front of him, then sucked in a breath.
"I wanna try dream-walking again," he declared.
He was absolutely not in a state of mind to try something like that. But if she discouraged him directly, he'd likely get himself even more worked up.
So instead she put on a serious expression, placed her hands on top of her head, and waited for him to copy her movements.
"Time your breathing to match mine," she instructed.
He attempted to take in a breath when he saw her take one in, but held it too long and let it out in a shuddering gasp.
"Count," she suggested. "In five seconds, held five seconds, out five seconds."
He nodded and tried again. Only when he had achieved a steady, calming rhythm did she notice the others watching curiously. Donnie quickly turned away when she caught his eye. Mikey fiddled with his cards bashfully, glancing between her and Leo. Raph stood up and took a step closer, as if to be ready to catch them if they fell.
Leo moved his hands to his chest as he let out a final breath. He smiled gratefully at her. "I wish I'd learned this sooner."
Venus glanced down, feeling pretty shy now too.
"Are you sure you feel up to trying dream-walking? We can watch a movie instead."
His eyes lit up with determination, a steady look in them that eased her worries. "I wanna try it! I think it'll help. Besides," he reached for her arm, a touch of anxiety creeping back in, "You'll be right there, right?"
"Of course," she felt a warmth fill her up body and soul, and was surprised it didn't leak from her eyes. "Always."
Except for all those years when I wasn't, she thought privately.
*
"Sometimes I think if we hadn't been separated, we could have been very good friends."
Donnie turned his seat around, whatever he'd been doing in his computer forgotten for the moment. "What are you talking about? We are really good friends."
She shifted on the couch to lean over the arm. "I know, but--"
She bit her cheek, searching for careful words. Donatello could be very sensitive, and right now he was giving her a wide-eyed, searching look that made her afraid to break him.
"We wouldn't argue so much."
His face fell a bit, and guilt clawed at her chest. "Oh."
A combination of nerves, desperation to change the subject and a need to explain herself, had her blurting out, "If you had learned it since you were young I think you would really like magic."
He twisted his mouth doubtfully. She sat up straighter, feeling defensive.
"It's not that different from your twittering," she insisted, almost pleaded. She needed him to understand how much it felt like a rejection of who she was at her core when he turned his nose up at the idea of her studies.
"My twitter--? Tinkering?"
"Whatever," she shrugged irritably. Of course he would get caught up on the words she used when she was trying to have a serious conversation about an ongoing problem.
He threw his arms out as if to defend his computer. "This isn't just tinkering! I built this myself, including connecting it up to highly sophisticated sensors that our whole alarm system is based on."
"Well it's not that different!" She tried to keep the emotion out of her voice. He was completely missing the point!
The point was that in quiet moments--when he wasn't busy trying to make sure everyone remembered he was the genius and she was the outsider--she really enjoyed his company. Everything she knew she'd learned from Chung I, and seeing Donatello get excited and speak intelligently about things like endangered animals, basic first aid, or even an incoming thunderstorm made her homesick in a confusing, almost hopeful way. It was one of a hundred things a day that made her so desperately wish her new family could have met her old sensei.
And she was trying to offer an olive branch.
"We could have studied together, instead of competing all the time."
He seemed to let his guard down somewhat at that, tilting his head as if to see her from a better angle.
"Maybe," he finally said, "But it's good that we're different, right? Better for the team."
She bit down a bitter reply. She didn't want to just be good for the team, she wanted to be part of the family.
"I guess so."
He squinted suspiciously at her less than enthusiastic reply.
"So if we had grown up together," he ventured, "Would you learn computers?"
She blushed, knowing as soon as he'd asked that the answer was no. It had taken her whole mind and soul to learn magic, and that was something she felt sure would be part of her no matter where or with whom she'd grown up.
Which was probably exactly how he felt about his science. Now she felt stupid for asking.
"I--don't know."
His eyes crinkled in triumphant amusement, making her feel he'd seen right through her.
"You know," he scooted his chair a little closer, "It's not so unusual for good friends to argue. And with brother and sister it's practically in the contract. I mean, how will you know I love you if I don't pick on you?"
He grinned obnoxiously, even batting his eyes. Venus couldn't help smiling.
"You're a jerk," she informed him fondly.
She didn't know why it was so hard to say 'I love you too,' but Donnie's warm smile told her he understood.
"Let's go to the library. Soon everyone'll be back for dinner and I'd enjoy a few more minutes of peace and quiet."
*
"It was a very foolish thing to do, Raphael."
Venus rambled as she set his wrist in a splint, feeling frazzled. Watching him try that jump had set given her a bit of extra adrenaline that now had nowhere to go.
He grunted, whether in annoyance or pain, she couldn't tell.
"Venus," Leo cut in, voice unusually shy, "We actually have a rule about this."
Once he got her attention, she realized to her embarrassment that they were all watching her.
"What?"
"Doctoring first," Mikey held up a finger, "Lecturing after."
"Oh," she fixed her eyes in his wrist, face burning. Had she been lecturing?
"'S fine," Raph dismissed, "Mostly a rule for Leo anyway."
"That's not true," Leo protested.
Raph rolled his eyes. "Mikey and Don don't lecture, Egghead."
"I lecture sometimes," Donnie said fairly.
"All of you lecture!" Mikey whined. "The rule is for everyone."
"I'm sorry," Venus cut in before the argument could escalate further, "I won't lecture anymore."
Her words were effective; silence descended over the group.
Of course, something like that couldn't last.
"You can after his wrist is set," Leo clarified. "Don't let him try to convince you you can't lecture until his injury is healed."
Mikey snorted. Raph glared.
"We're just worried," Donnie said gently. "That was a bad fall."
"Would've been a sick trick if you'd pulled it off," Mikey added.
"Hey, I got closer than anyone," Raph said proudly. "Please tell me someone took a video."
"Yep," Donnie smirked. "You want me to edit out the part where you landed flat on your shell, or...?"
"Depends. Did you get my good side?"
"How should I know? What do you think, Mikey?"
"Let's see," Mikey rubbed his chin, "He's scaly and green all over; every side is his good side!"
"True," Raph nodded, playing along. His expression grew more serious again at the immediate reminder that he couldn't flex and preen for the bit like he normally might. "How long do I gotta keep this on, anyway?"
"Until I tell you to take it off," Venus said firmly.
Truthfully, she wasn't too sure. She knew to apply cold and heat, and have him rest plenty and avoid using his arm, but she was less clear on the timeframes.
It was probably better to go too long, anyway.
"Alright, fair enough," Raph said easily. "Hey, thanks for patching me up. Feels a lot safer than when I used to count on these knuckleheads."
Mikey and Donnie, who had somehow gotten involved in a thumb war, quickly put their hands in their laps and tried to look dignified. Leo hid his face in his hands.
Venus managed an amused smile.
Inwardly, she covered a heartache. They were all very tender-hearted beneath the crudeness and immaturity and bravado. She could imagine how much stress and grief it would have caused, trying to care for each other with no access to human doctors and minimal knowledge of medicine. At least she'd had Chung I, who'd been knowledgeable in the subject. It had been scary enough for her and him trying to apply what he taught to the unique biology of a mutant turtle.
"Since I'm not gonna be doing much skateboarding, or pretty much anything for the next few days--whose up for a movie?"
"Of course Raph, what movie do--hey wait." Leo's eyes bugged indignantly. Raph tilted his head innocently.
"What's the matter?"
"That's it? You're not gonna argue with Venus about having to wear the splint, or call her names for worrying too much, or grumble about how miserable it'll be to be stuck with us till you're healed?"
"No, geez, why would I do that?"
"Because you always do that!"
"You have been pretty obstinate about having injuries cared for in the past," Donnie observed.
"Yeah, well--Venus didn't give me an earful about it, did she?"
Leo gaped, looking between his other siblings to silently confirm they had all heard him specifically stop her from lecturing. Raph winked at her; she covered a giggle.
"Sorry, Leo, not everyone is cut out to be a doctor." She patted his knee. "You're good at other things."
Leo gave her a flat look. "I can see the two of you laughing."
With that comment, after having their nerves on edge all night, and the relief that Raph would be okay starting to sink in, they both completely lost it.
*
Venus leaned in to observe, trying to follow how the game worked.
"So you're just following this card," Donnie reiterated. "When you finish a phase, you can move up."
"To the next phase," Mikey clarified.
"Yes. So if it says you need a run, that's number cards in order."
"Least to greatest."
"Well of course it would be--I mean, greatest to least would work fine as well. Just four adjacent numbers for a run of four."
"Or five adjacent numbers for a run of five."
"Yeah, I think she gets it Mikey. Now a set, that's matching."
"Three cards the same makes a set of three."
Donnie inhaled sharply. "Mikey."
"What? I'm helping!"
"I think I understand," she feigned innocence, seeing an opportunity. "A set of three is three cards in order?"
"Yes," Donnie said automatically, and then-- "No!"
Mikey cackled.
"This game is too complicated," Raph grumbled, bored of waiting. "Can't we just do Go Fish or something she knows how to play?"
"It's a lot easier once you get started," Donnie insisted.
"I can't believe how many games you've never heard of," Mikey blurted.
"Mikey," Raph hissed.
"What? I'm just saying! Last week we taught her Speed, Two weeks ago it was Uno. Crazy Eights, Bridge--"
"I knew checkers," Venus said defensively.
"But not chess," Leo observed. "Or Skyjo, Pictionary, Sorry--I mean, Mikey's right, we have a pretty good collection of games, and you haven't heard of most of them."
"I did kind of think you would've known Mahjong," Raph admitted, "Or at least Charades."
"Master Chung I wasn't much for games," Venus shrugged. The subject coming up was making her feel raw and vulnerable; she would rather just play the game, even if she still didn't understand how it worked.
They were all exchanging looks with each other, then looking back at her with something like concern. She had to fight the extinct to bolt.
"I am sure he showed his love in other ways," Master Splinter said warmly, a firm undercurrent in his tone directed at his sons. "I know he was very proud of you."
"He did," she said earnestly, hating the idea that she'd given any of them a bad impression of him. "We spent lots of time together. I guess with only two people there is not much need for games."
They awkwardly avoided her gaze, and she knew they didn't understand. She found herself speaking to a spot on the table.
"We told jokes, and read together. We loved going on walks, and sometimes we raced each other home. He knew the name of every plant we passed, and most of the animals."
Mikey leaned into her space. "Do you think he would've liked us?"
"Mikey," Leo hissed.
Venus laughed, warm and light, like a candle lifting her from her grief. "Of course he would! Who wouldn't like you?" She rapped her knuckles against his head. He leaned against her, smiling softly.
"I wish you all could've met him," she sighed almost to herself. Raph and Leo exchanged a glance. They all shared in a pensive silence with her for a while. Donnie fiddled with the cards, somewhere between shuffling and just tapping. He didn't seem to intend to deal anytime soon.
"Ah, what the shell," Raph blurted, "You guys wanna do a blanket fort tonight? Since--"'
Mikey shot out of his seat. "We haven't done a blanket fort in years!"
"Venus hasn't ever done a blanket fort," Leo added. "We've let this go on way too long!"
"Okay, okay, don't get excited," Raph mumbled, but Venus didn't miss the way he shyly avoided her gaze and failed to conceal a smile at his brothers' excitement.
"What is a blanket fort?" Venus asked, turning to Donnie and Master Splinter as the other three scattered to gather blankets, which she surmised were in some way related.
"We cover the living room in comfy stuff," Donnie explained, doing a motion with his hands as if he were outlining a house. "Make our favorite snacks, watch movies. Probably a pillow fight."
She tilted her head. "Which part is the fort?"
Splinter's eyes crinkled. "It's about all being together," he explained. "Your brothers want to share their bond with you."
"Hey, chatterboxes," Raph called over his shoulder as Leo and Mikey draped various blankets limply over the couch. "You gonna help build or what? We kinda need your expertise here, Donnie."
He shook his head at them. "No, no, you have to hook it over something and make a roof--guys, you're wasting blankets, let me--"
He hurried to fix whatever was wrong that wasn't clear to Venus yet. Splinter placed a gentle paw on her arm. "We better go help, before all the good seats are taken."
She followed shyly. Mikey and Donnie were arguing over a blanket draped across the TV.
"It's gotta be taller!"
"There isn't anything taller. Unless we held it up by ma--"
He froze suddenly, eyes lighting up as he turned towards Venus.
"What?"
In a moment, Mikey and Donnie were right in her space, begging.
"Please, Venus, please please please--"
"It would only have to be at a few key points--I can draw you a diagram--"
"This will be the jazziest blanket fort we've ever even imagined let alone made--"
Leo cut in. "You want Venus to hold it together with magic? Wouldn't that drain her?"
"Oh, no," Venus said brightly, finally understanding, between the blanket across the TV and Leo's explanation, what she was meant to do. "I can help with a blanket house."
She spread her arms demonstratively and levitated the blanket, spreading it out and floating it over the room, making sure to lift it off the TV for the height Mikey wanted.
"Alright, not bad," Raph affirmed, his warm tone louder than his understated words. "Wish you'd been around for all our blanket forts."
Tears pricked unexpectedly at her eyes. She wished that, too, more than anything.
She let herself be swept up in the chaos, following Donnie's diagram, kneeling next to Leo while he sorted through possible movies, and eventually wedged between Raph and Master Splinter on the couch, pillows plentiful, the rest of their family pressed in close.
If she hadn't been separated from her brothers, she never would have known Chung I.
And if she hadn't lost Chung I, she never would have met the other turtles, or even known there were others like her in the world.
Between the jagged pieces of her broken heart, she was surprised to find herself thinking, and really believing, that everything had happened in the best possible way.
She couldn't quite believe so much joy could fit inside her.