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Steve stared up at the huge metal gate as they entered the parking lot. He'd been here a million times before, but today he was uncharacteristically nervous.
“I should've gotten the lilies,” Steve mumbled, looking down at the bouquet of white carnations in his hand as Tony parked the car right in front of the gate. “She always liked them.”
“And she's going to love the lilies.” Tony reached across the console to squeeze his hand, and Steve held on tight, anxiety roiling in his stomach. “Are you sure you want to do this? It's no problem if you're not ready. We can do this another time.”
“No, I – it's way overdue. I have to do this.”
Tony nodded with a smile, brushing his thumb across Steve's knuckles before he let go to open the door. Steve wasn't ashamed to admit that he hurried out of the car as quickly as possible so he could hold Tony's hand again. He was grateful that Tony didn't comment on it beyond another reassuring squeeze.
“Okay,” Steve said, taking a fortifying breath before he led Tony into the graveyard. “Let's do this.”
They walked down the center pathway in silence, nodding at the elderly woman who was trimming the lawn surrounding one of the gravestones. Other than her, the graveyard was entirely empty. Steve could feel his anxiety grow with every step along the familiar path, but the firm pressure of Tony's hand in his kept him going.
He already felt a little choked up by the time they reached his mother's grave. Someone had clearly taken good care of it in the several months since Steve had seen her. He bent down to brush his free hand across the top of the stone to clear off invisible dust before he tucked the carnations into the metal hook near her engraved name.
He bowed his head and closed his eyes for a quick prayer, the one his mother used to say for Steve's father whenever they visited him. When he finally looked up again, he glanced over at Tony and felt a pang in his heart at the sight of Tony doing the same, having obviously joined Steve in prayer.
He knew that Tony didn't believe in God. The gesture meant more than he could say.
Steve took a deep breath as he turned back towards his mother, his eyes landing on the curved line of the S engraved in the stone. He cleared his throat, gathered his strength and spoke.
"Hey, Ma. Happy birthday. I'm sorry I didn't come visit you sooner, but I actually, uh. I wanted to introduce you to someone." He looked at Tony, who smiled reassuringly and rubbed Steve's knuckles with his thumb. Steve swallowed hard before he gave himself a push and said what he came here to say in the first place. "This is Tony. He and I are... well. He's my husband. As of yesterday."
There. He'd done it. Steve took a shaky breath, grateful when Tony shuffled a little closer and put an arm around his shoulder. He'd agonized over what he wanted to say for so long that it was almost impossible to get the rest of the words out.
None of them seemed fitting now that he stood here. So Steve did what he did best – he improvised.
"I'm sorry you two didn't get to meet. To be fair, I never expected to meet Tony either." They shared a smile. "There were a lot of factors that brought us together. I – I've had some hard times, Ma. I'm sure you already know. Things were rough for a while.”
Steve rubbed at his eyes, and Tony tightened his grip on Steve's shoulder, silently giving him strength. “I met a lot of new people very quickly. And it was overwhelming. To be honest, Tony might have been the most overwhelming of them all.” Steve laughed when Tony pinched him in the side. “But when all is said and done, he's the one that saved me. He'd never take the credit for it, but he did. And I love him more than anything."
Tony's eyes were looking a little misty, so Steve brought up a hand and brushed his fingers against Tony's cheek, his whole body tingling with warmth.
"I don't know if you would approve," he said, gripping Tony's hand as tightly as he dared. "I like to think that you would have, once you met him. You always said that you just wanted me to be happy." Steve smiled. "I'm so happy, mom. Tony made me the happiest man alive yesterday. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"The feeling's mutual," Tony said with a fond grin that made Steve's heart surge, especially when Tony turned to his mother's gravestone and said, "You have a wonderful son. I can only imagine what a great woman you were, to have raised him the way you did. Thank you for bringing him into the world."
Steve felt too choked up to speak after that, so he just squeezed Tony's hand again, holding on for dear life. Tony brought their joined hands up to press a kiss to Steve's knuckles, coaxing a shaky smile from his lips.
“I love him so much, Ma,” Steve whispered, watching as Tony's eyes softened. “He's one of the bravest, kindest and smartest people I've ever met. He completes me. He gave me a home.” Steve wiped at his eyes, unsurprised when his fingers came away a little damp. “And I'll try the rest of my life to make him as happy as he makes me. Because he deserves it.”
“Right back at you,” Tony said, swaying a little closer so he could pull Steve into a proper hug. His head fit perfectly onto Steve's shoulder. “You put a ring on it. I'm never letting you go now.”
Steve laughed but quickly caught himself, glancing around to see if anyone had heard him and taken offense. Luckily they were still alone. “If you think I'll let you go, you've got another thing coming, mister,” Steve said, and Tony grinned widely at him. “But yeah. Happy birthday again, Ma. I promise I'll visit more.”
“We both will,” Tony said, and Steve couldn't stop himself from leaning in to steal a soft kiss from Tony's lips. He was so grateful that Tony was supporting him in this. Steve didn't know what he would do without him.
“I have everything I ever wanted,” he said, turning to smile down at his mother's name. “I finally found the life you always told me to get. I just wanted you to know that."
Steve crouched down to gently trace each letter of her name before he kissed his fingers and pressed them against the little flower etched into the stone right below. “I love you, Ma.” He stayed there for a moment longer before he stood up and grabbed Tony's hand again. “I'll see you soon.”
“It was a pleasure to meet you,” Tony said, and Steve smiled as he led Tony back to their car, feeling like a boulder had rolled off his chest.
“Thank you,” Steve said as they walked, and Tony swerved to knock their hips together, swinging their clasped hands between them.
“I wasn't lying, you know? It was my pleasure.” Tony smiled at him. “Is it weird that this made me even more emotional than our wedding vows? You really didn't hold back there.”
“It's just the truth,” Steve said, bringing Tony's hand up to his chest so he could touch his wedding ring. He'd have to get used to seeing it there, because if his heart kept doing these kinds of acrobatics every time, he'd never get anything done. “And I'm going to keep saying it.”
“Oh really?” Tony's eyes sparkled with mirth as he winked. “Is that a threat?”
“Absolutely. But don't worry, it's only for the rest of our lives, dear,” Steve said cheekily, and Tony laughed, leaning in close when Steve wrapped an arm around his waist.
“You know what? I can live with that.”