Chapter Text
If someone said that Yamaguchi was in love with Tsukishima, no one would be surprised. If the duo was found out to be dating, most people wouldn't be surprised either. It was already obvious that Yamaguchi liked Tsukishima, so that would just mean that the tall blond liked him back. It was what everyone thought. Tsukishima never was one to fall for the "if everyone says so, than it must be true" philosophy and he started believing even less on it the moment he coughed the first petals.
It hurt. Not just the physical pain of coughing flower petals, but the fact that Yamaguchi didn't like him back. Yamaguchi didn't like him back. His best friend, almost like his only friend, the boy who was there even tough he didn't deserve it didn't like him back.
At fist, all that Tsukishima could feel was anger. Anger towards his friend. Why the hell would Yamaguchi act like he was in love with him if he wasn't? Why would him make Kei pass through shit like this? Did he want Kei to suffer? But as the petals kept coming out of his mouth the only anger he could feel was towards himself for being so pathetic. Falling in love with his best friend and being fucking friendzoned was really not what Kei imagined for himself.
Pathetic.
Tsukishima didn't tell anyone about it. He still held hope that he could move on. He was Tsukishima Kei after all, the cold ,sassy and heartless Karasuno's middle blocker. He would move on.
For the first month he did a very good job. The petals didn't show up as often as to be considered a big problem and every time they did he was capable of hiding them or excusing himself to the bathroom. Kei's love was unrequited and he was dealing with it. Until that day.
The team was having a practice match with all players in the court, regulars or not. They had long sets but in the end, Tsukishima's team won, the final point being made by one of Yamaguchi's serves. Everyone went to cheer and congratulate him and Kei was fine with that because hey, it was expected to happen. They won the game and they're happy about it. No big deal.
Then Yachi came with a smile almost bigger than her face that somehow made her look cuter than she already was. She came and kissed Yamaguchi's cheek, the act being followed by more screams from their teammates.
"Yamaguchi's got a girlfriend!"
Yamaguchi blushed but smiled and looked at Yachi. He looked at her the way you look at someone you love and she returned the look. The moment they both hugged Tsukishima felt as if it was the first time the petals showed up all over again. That suffocating feeling he could not control, the pain in his heart and lungs and the urge to vomit until he felt nothing.
He ran to the bathroom.
When he got there some petals had already escaped, but that didn't matter. He needed to get them out of his body and move on move on move on move on move on Tadashi doesn't love you he loves her he will never love you move on move on move on
"Tsukki? Are you all right?"
Of course Yamaguchi would follow him to the bathroom. Kei prepared to answer but he couldn't. He couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe. The only thing he could do was cough the blue and pink and red petals in the toilet and be reminded that the love of his life didn’t love him back.
"Tsukki?"
In the next moment Yamaguchi was next to Kei and seeing his friend, Tsukki is so cool!, reduced to a coughing mess. Tsukishima wanted to scream and cry but the goddamned petals didn't stop coming. Soon all the team was at the bathroom door but Suga, after seeing the situation, was quick to get everyone out of there. Kei would have to thank him later if he survived this. When he finally stopped, he wanted to lay down and sleep for three months.
"Who is it?"
Oh, Yamaguchi was still there. Great. Tsukishima turned to his friend. Yamaguchi looked so worried that it could be mistaken by physical pain.
"What?" Tsukishima managed to say with a weak voice.
"Who is it?" Yamaguchi repeated.
You, Tsukishima wanted to answer. However, he didn't. He just got up and walked out of the bathroom looking down because the last think he wanted to see was the look in his teammates eyes. He didn't need this, he was moving on.
"Tsukishima..." It was Suga's voice. Sad and full of pity.
He doesn't love you.
Tsukishima didn't even bother to look up to him when he exited the gym, running towards his house, petals and tears falling. The house was empty when he got there. Kei knew he could stop that pain, he could take out the petals. But it would take his feelings too. Yamaguchi could survive without his love, he had other friends and Yachi to fill that hole for him. But Tsukishima didn't. He would live with that part of him missing forever. Was it worth it?
Pathetic.