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Vi's appartment wasn't exactly big, it was more or less just a bed, a desk, and a bathroom squeezed together in as little space as could physically fit them.
Still Caitlyn asked "Vi are you in here?" like she couldn't see the shape underneath the blanket.
"You don't have to be here." Vi's voice was hoarse and awkward, like it was being forced to sound neutral.
Caitlyn sat down on the side of the bed and reached out a hand, making the shape underneath the blanket recoil.
"Can you… Not touch me right now?"
The shame in her voice cut into Caitlyn's heart.
"Vi-"
"You don't have to call me that either, you can just use my name, it's okay."
Caitlyn's brow furrowed in confusion. "Violet?"
Vi pulled the blanket down far enough to look at Caitlyn, her eyes were red and sore from crying. "please don't make me say it."
Realization hit Caitlyn cold and hard. "I'm not going to deadname you Vi!" The shock in her voice came out as anger.
"I wish you would stop trying to spare my feelings, you deserve an actual girlfriend not… me."
"Vi-"
"I said: stop calling me that!"
Vi had never yelled at her before, it stunned Caitlyn into momentary silence.
"See what I mean Caitlyn" — Vi pulled the blanket back over her head and curled in on herself — "a woman wouldn't have done that."
Caitlyn took a deep breath, got off the bed, sat down on the chair, and pulled out her phone.
They stayed like that for a bit, Vi wallowing in pain, Caitlyn waiting for her to be ready for help.
"Why are you still here?" Vi eventually said, her voice was defeated, the anger replaced by sadness once again.
"I'm waiting for you to tell me what happened."
"Nothing happened, I just realized you deserved better."
"Is it my father again?" Caitlyn held on to her phone a little tighter.
"Your dad's fine, it's stupid."
"I'll be the judge of that."
Vi pulled the duvet aside and sat up in bed, her hair was a mess, her tank top stained with sweat and some sort of condiment, her face bloody where she had cut herself shaving.
"I'm going to tell you, but then you have to leave me alone."
"I can't promise that." Caitlyn told her with a stubborn glare.
"Whatever." Vi grumbled and scooted over for her phone. "I was at the gym earlier, and I felt really good about myself, so I thought that with all the pictures you've sent me, it's only fair I repay the favor-"
"Vi you really don't have to-"
"No I owe it to you, its already kind of gross I have pictures of you topless saved-
"I sent those to you because I wanted to-"
Vi dropped her phone on the mattress with a thud. "Well maybe you need to stop picking charity cases."
Caitlyn reached out, then stopped herself. Vi flopped back into bed trying and failing to muffle her sobs with a thin pillow.
"Vi what happened? Caitlyn wanted to hold her girlfriend more than anything else.
Vi turned around and glared at her with red tinted eyes. "Nothing happened Cait! I just looked myself in the mirror, and you know what I saw? Same old Vadim as always, same as I'm always going to be." She sat up, holding the pillow tight between her hands. "You know what people say when we go out together? That it's gross how you call yourself a lesbian, for your boyfriend's kink."
"That's none of their business!" Now it was Caitlyn's turn to be angry. Whether or not Vi was closeted, people had no right to judge her or their relationship.
"They're right-"
Caitlyn slapped her girlfriend. Didn't even realize it was happening; her hand just moved straight across Vi's face on its own. "They're full of shit! And If I ever hear anyone say something like that, I won't be held responsible for my actions."
Vi rubbed her cheek, it was a little red, and Caitlyn couldn't stop herself from pulling her girlfriend close. "Vi I don't care what people think about us, or what you look like, or how much hair you have, or how long until you're ready to come out. My parents can think it was just a phase, people can say I was faking for attention, so long as I have you."
They held each other close, Vi drying her eyes on Caitlyn's shoulder.
"But you should care Cupcake, you deserve someone you can be seen with, someone you can be yourself with, someone to kiss… and have sex with."
Caitlyn forced her to look into her eyes. "But I am myself with you, and well you're the one who said you weren't ready for sex."
"I don't matter" Vi cried "you're 25, you have needs, and I can't fulfill them."
"What? Because you have a penis?"
Vi flushed, but nodded, like she genuinely believed that.
Caitlyn's brow furrowed in anger, she let go of Vi and took a step back, off the bed. "Lean back." She instructed her girlfriend, pushing her against the back wall with two fingers.
"I don't appreciate being patronized Vi." Caitlyn said, then she reached into Vi's pants, not entirely sure what she was going to feel. She'd touched dildos plenty of time, but never an actual cock, until now.
Vi hissed as Caitlyn's fingers brushed against her soft but suddenly hardening shaft.
Caitlyn in turn pulled her hand out and showed it to Vi with poorly hidden annoyance. "There, I have touched a penis. I didn't burst into flames, I didn't stop being a lesbian. Now perhaps you can stop acting like I'm some frail creature made impure by your very presence, otherwise: take off your pants."
Vi looked at her, breathless and flushed. The moment gave Caitlyn time to realize what she had just done, and she flushed too.
"Sorry I, that was crossing a line, if you want me to go I can-"
"That was really hot cupcake."
"What?" Caitlyn said loudly, for the second time that afternoon.
Vi's blush spread further. "I like it when you take charge, but you knew that already."
Looking what felt like right through Vi, with her one good eye, Caitlyn leant in close. "There was something else though, about the way I did it?"
Hurriedly repositioning the blanket to hide her erection, Vi nodded and tried to control her breathing. "I like how you talked about my body, that you didn't sugarcoat it, and that you weren't afraid of me."
Slender fingers ran through Vi's red hair "Why would I ever be afraid of you?"
"Because of my body-"
"There's nothing wrong with your-"
"I know, but that wasn't how you said it earlier. You didn't try to make me feel better, you just, went at it. I don't know how to say it."
Caitlyn smirked. "Seems I'm doomed to have to have girlfriends worried about their genitals."
"I don't-"
"Dylan was worried about her uneven labia, Maddie's vagina looked square. I'm sorry Vi, you're predictable."
Now it was Vi's turn to furrow her brow. "This is different."
"Only because you're making it different."
"There's also all the hair."
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. "Oh no, my girlfriend is hairy, how will I, a lesbian, cope?"
"Why do you act like its so easy?"
"Why do you act like its not?"
Vi got off the bed for the first time since coming home, she paced back and forth, eventually thumping her head against the wall. "I want to have sex with you, and I know you do too, but every time I think about it, I feel gross. Like I should just be happy that I get to call you my girlfriend. I don't like my body, and I can't understand why you do."
"Why? Why is sex so important?"
It was such a simple question, and it stopped Vi dead in her tracks.
"I guess, because you want it?"
Caitlyn gave her a cheeky smile "And is what I want all that matters?"
"I feel like you're gonna be angry if I say yes."
Hiding a wince, Caitlyn filed that away under issues they would need to talk about later, and continued pulling the thread she had found: "So if I didn't want sex, you wouldn't want it either? Or is there something more to it?"
Vi blushed "What do you want me to say? You're hot, Cupcake, I feel like I don't deserve to even touch you, I-" She groaned, and hit her head against the wall again. "I don't understand it Cait, and you can't make me understand it because it doesn't make sense. I just hate myself, and I hate the way that I look, and I hate that I can't give you what you want-"
Caitlyn forced her to look in her eyes, those big, blue eyes. "Have you tried?"
"what do you mean have I-"
"You're so in your head about being a big disgusting trans girl, that you never even tried to please me."
She began undoing her belt buckle, Vi's eyes growing to the size of teacups.
"Caitlyn I can't-"
"I know, you can't do penetration, you can't touch me, you can't have me touch you. Now take your pants off and give me a show."
Caitlyn unceremoniously took her top off, same with her bra and panties, threw the whole lot in a pile next to the bed and sat down on the duvet that smelled of Vi's sweat and tears. Then she began running two fingers along the outside of her slit, slowly, but not in a way that looked attractive. She was purely doing it for her own enjoyment.
Vi felt her cock strain against her pajamas pants once again as she flushed and tried to look at anything but Caitlyn. "Uhm, Cupcake what should I-"
"Get naked, and sit across from me." There was a slight hitch to her tone, the same hitch Vi had heard in some of the voice messages Caitlyn had left her; part of her had never expected she would get to hear it in real life.
Getting out of her clothes had never been harder. Vi was painfully aware of how much hair there was everywhere, how sticky she was with sweat, and especially how hard she was. She stood before Caitlyn, awkwardly fiddling with one hand while the other tried to hide her crotch.
"On the bed Vi." Caitlyn gently directed, still idly rubbing at her crotch.
Vi did as instructed, her shame firing on all cylinders as she focused very hard on a spot on the wall. She should not be allowed to do this, not be allowed to sit opposite a woman, least of all someone as beautiful as Caitlyn, and watch her masturbate.
"Is this too much?" Caitlyn asked, instantly dropping the playfulness.
Vi looked down at herself and her hairy legs, her cock was soft as it could get. "I feel like I'm doing something wrong, or that you'll be angry with me."
A hand reached out towards her, it stopped, but not before Vi could hiss preemptively. "When I touched you earlier, you said you liked how I wasn't afraid of you, what can I do to show you that hasn't changed?"
"Can you call me a tranny?" Vi clutched a hand to her mouth. "No sorry, I, forget I said anything."
Caitlyn wasn't exactly a stranger to kink, especially not humiliation kink, and she had suspected Vi swung that way but this-
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
"Vi you're a disgusting tranny."
Caitlyn was laser focused on Vi's response. The first thing she noticed was her soft cock shuddering slightly, followed by a hitch in her breath, and a plea for more.
"What else do you want from me?" She had always been good at giving people what they wanted, and this was no different. The words coming out of her mouth felt wrong and unpleasant, but if they helped Vi feel good, she didn't mind in the slightest.
"Tell me-" Vi had to take a deep breath, gather her courage. "Tell me you're a real woman, call me a freak, or a predator."
Caitlyn had to gather her courage too, she had never been good at lying. Putting on her domme face, she looked her girlfriend straight in the eyes and spoke with her most demeaning tone.
"Look at yourself, you finally manage to trick a real woman into your bed and you can't even get hard? Some fucking predator you are."
The effect was immediate, Vi got hard, and she looked at Caitlyn with her big pleading eyes.
"That's better, now be a good tranny and rub your disgusting cock to me."
She did as instructed, running her hand quickly up and down, while looking at her with worship in her eyes. Caitlyn was mesmerized by the way her foreskin moved back and forth, and found herself pushing two fingers inside herself.
"Please, more." Vi spoke louder, but even more deliciously submissively.
It was hard to find more creative insults while Caitlyn was busy soaking in the joy of watching her girlfriend feel good. She concentrated, digging deep into the gross parts of twitter's comment section.
"You love this don't you? Forcing an innocent lesbian to watch you play with yourself?"
"Yes" Vi hissed, biting into her lip.
"Say it" Caitlyn commanded, feeling a shudder run down her spine at the power Vi was giving her "Tell me you're a perverted tranny."
"I-" Vi's breath hitched, it almost sounded like crying and Caitlyn worried she had overstepped. "I'm a perverted tranny."
"And you love traumatizing real lesbian with your gross cock."
"I love-" another hitch, but Vi was also jerking off harder than before "I love traumatizing lesbians with my gross cock."
She was crying, Vi was crying! Everything in Caitlyn was screaming at her to pull the breaks on the scene, but she was feeling good, and Vi looked like she was too.
"Vi are you-"
"I'm so close Caitlyn, please please please."
It had taken a matter of minutes, but Caitlyn was already addicted to hearing Vi beg. She had to either marry this girl, or chain her to a radiator.
"Is that so? Does jerking off to real women you've forced into your bed make you feel good?"
Vi looked at her, Caitlyn could tell she wanted to ask for something else, but worried it was a step too far. "Tell me what you want Vi." She tried to balance command and affection.
"Call me a rapist."
They were going to need so much aftercare.
"You're a rapist Vi. You've coerced a real woman into your bed, trapped her naked, and made her watch as you jerk off." Now Caitlyn's own breath hitched, as she found just the right spot to touch within herself. "You're disgusting, you're a tranny, you're a pretender to womanhood-"
"So close." Vi's voice was quiet.
A thought popped up in Caitlyn's head, she couldn't stop it, the image had already taken hold.
"Get over here, don't you dare stop jerking off."
Vi awkwardly crawled across the single person bed, keeping a hand on her cock, and her eyes on the wall the whole time.
"Look at me." It was clearly a struggle for Vi, but she did as she was told. "You're going to embrace what you are, and you're going to cum all over my pure, innocent, pussy, is that clear?"
Vi nodded. "Yes ma'am."
Caitlyn leaned in and kissed her "that's a good girl," she said, and framed her labia with her fingers.
That was all it took to send Vi over the edge. She collapsed forward, holding one hand on the headboard to stop herself from falling on top of Caitlyn, she looked deep in her eyes, whimpered pathetically, and came.
The first strand landed closer to Caitlyn's belly button, but the second landed almost exactly on her clit, same as the third. With three fingers Caitlyn began working it into herself.
And suddenly Caitlyn was close too, the way Vi gasped for breath as she kept pushing her orgasm on, the sticky feeling of semen in her pussy, the control she felt over her butch even as she towered above her.
She came hard and fast, her legs shaking, her hands grasping for anything besides Vi to hold on to.
Then the moment it was over, she looked up at Vi, her face red with tears, her breath still staggered. "Are you okay." Caitlyn always worried she went over the line, but especially times like these when they hadn't had a chance to negotiate in advance.
"I'm more than okay Cupcake-" She smiled broadly, grinned even "I'm feeling fantastic, fucking fantastic."
Caitlyn kissed her again, it was a bad habit. "I didn't overstep did I?"
"I was about to ask you the same, that was… a lot to just dump in your lap."
"Well I did tell you to do it." Caitlyn held up her fingers covered in both their juices.
"I didn't mean, wait, shit, I basically came inside you! We should-"
"Relax Vi, I'm on birth control; it makes my period more predictable." Caitlyn said with the smallest chuckle as she dried her fingers on the duvet. "But if you feel guilty, how about ordering a pizza and cuddling the night away."
The shame was back on Vi's face, even as they were less than a meter apart. "Are you sure it's okay, shouldn't I at least put my clothes back on?"
Caitlyn wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close, Vi's softening cock gliding momentarily against her entrance. "No thank you, I like your disgusting tranny self… Can I say that outside a scene?"
Letting herself fall into the hug, Vi took a long moment to just soak in Caitlyn's sweat and bodyheat before answering. "Probably don't say it to others, but me, you can call whatever you want."
"I prefer calling you my girlfriend." Caitlyn wiped a stray lock of hair out of Vi's face, and kissed her forehead.
"I like that too, but you might have to call me the other thing a few more nights before it starts to sink in."