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“No!”
Sumireko stood in front of Yukari, arms outstretched. Yukari counterargued by simply gesturing to behind Sumireko. Patchouli was finishing healing the last of her hobgoblins who were mauled by sword and spell. His compatriots hunkered behind a conjured stone palisade, warely eying the assailants.
Who were currently immobilized in woody vines. Their appearance was…generic. A scruffy boy in piecemeal armor who looked like an isekai protagonist. A bespectacled redhead in green robes and wizard hat looked more like an apprentice than Sumireko. Of course the moe-moe blonde in white Dragon Quest priestess robes and floppy cap. And-
“Can you at least explain what’s going on?”
Sumireko turned around to the young woman.She had a long black ponytail and wore a casual purple qipao over functional pants, accented by a yellow scarf tied around her neck. “These aren’t the goblins you’re looking for.”
“And with that established,” Yukari said, “I’ll send you all on your way-”
Sumireko whipped toward Yukari. “They’re just kids! Let them stay!”
Yukari looked sternly at Sumireko. “And how are you going to make me?”
With no time to think, Sumireko went with the first idea flashing in her mind. “Let me train them. With a wargame. You know the one.” She sped those words out reflexively, desperately, hoping she wouldn’t have to think up something she didn’t have time to-
Yukari smiled indulgently. “I was waiting for you to ask.”
The tabletop was set up. A standard dining table brought out from storage; the children (“We’re adults where we’re from,” said the 15-year-old Fighter) sat on one end, and Sumireko on the other. Yukari stood behind her, watching with interest. There were the materials one would expect of an eminent game: books, sheets, maps, miniatures, the DM’s screen Sumireko sat behind.
Sumireko steadied herself and focused on the utilitarian. Specifically what the players were doing to prepare. They grasped they were playing a squad-level wargame well enough. The admittedly complex rules, even accounting for the quickstart versions they were using, not so much. Warrior was rereading them for the third time, with occasional help from Fighter who seemed to understand them already. Wizard was rereading them too, but Sumireko suspected she was looking for exploits. That’s what I would do. Priestess did a check at first, but was now sitting serenely, stealing poorly-concealed glances at Yukari’s chest.
Sumireko took a calming breath. Now the important part. “While you’re all reviewing the game rules, I’d like to explain the social ones.”
“You got my attention,” Fighter said.
Priestess nodded. Wizard kept reading, but Sumireko knew from experience she was listening. Warrior…probably not.
“Now,” Sumireko said, “we’re playing what’s called a “session 0.” That means it won’t be part of the campaign story. What it’s for is getting your mistakes out of the way. Like in real life, there’s no going back and doing over your actions in this game.”
“So it’s training.”
“Yeah. Like not doing a high-line kick against some brute who can just catch your foot and smash you all over the walls.”
“I’ll be sure not to do that… ” Fighter said.
“Or not having someone watch your flank when casting firebolt, ” Wizard looked up from her reading, “or swinging your sword in an upward arc when side-to-side was just fine and hitting a stalactite and knocking it out of your hand-”
“Are you all right?”
“What?”
“You’re sweating, and shaking a little.”
“Oh.” Sumireko noticed that, and how she was trailing off. And remembered her next point. “ Oh! And you’ll want to use that Perception in a cave; when it’s really dark you can’t casually spot any side passages. Good way to get ambushed.”
“Don’t worry; we got torches.”
“Not good enough, you’re gonna need brighter light.” Sumireko’s eyes flicked to Priestess, then back to Fighter. “Do you know where you can find some?”
“No… Don’t you?”
“Do you know what spells your party members have?”
“Why would I? I’m not a spellcaster.”
“But you’re all working together, so you each gotta know what you’re working with. ”
“ Ohhh. ”
“That’ll let you plan your tactics better, which you need since this is life or death.” Sumireko’s eyes flicked back and forth to Warrior and Wizard. “Now, before we go on I want you all to talk to each other about what you can do, and how you can work together to make the most of that.”
And they did. As Fighter asked “What can you all do?” Sumireko got ready to estimate and write out their stats. Then four character sheets poked out of the gap that opened in front of her, like someone making a playful tongue at her. She pulled out the sheets and scanned them. I’ll ask Yukari how she figured them out later , Sumireko thought.
The numerical stats were scanned first. Except for Priestess, Wisdom was pretty much dumped to no surprise, though Fighter’s was slightly better. Fighter’s abilities were pretty basic, as was Warrior’s, so Sumireko went to the spellcasters. Priestess had healing and light spells of course, and that “protection” spell that made no sense. A 5’ force barrier could easily be walked around; “creative” uses were pretty much all it was good for. But it certainly wasn’t useless at least. Wizard…had no combat spells besides firebolt . Everything else was an out-of-combat utility. This isn’t Ars Magica, kid, thought Sumireko. But then again, a good DM would tailor the campaign like it.
Sure enough there was already an argument over Wizard’s questionable choices. Perfect timing to move on , Sumireko thought. She clapped her hands briefly to get everyone’s attention. “You all got the basic idea, good. Now, while this is technically training it’s also a game. For fun. And sometimes for kids. Or people who don’t want anything gross. Which brings us to lines, veils, and x-cards. Put simply, lines are… well, lines you don’t cross. Things the DM shouldn’t do.”
“Like?”
“I’ll give you a list,” Sumireko said, “literally. But one big example is rape.” Fighter and her party looked disgusted. “Yeah, that’s not something you should just spring on some kid.”
Fighter looked aghast. “Who does that?”
“Neckbeards,” Sumireko said.
“Like…those creepy guys in taverns who think women should be whores or housewives?”
Sumireko nodded. “Yeah… that’s a good comparison. Oh, but there’s also what I like to call “purity dads;” men who think women can’t do anything out of the house without being victimized.” Sumireko rolled her eyes. “Unless, of course, she has a real man protecting her.”
“Father taught me to protect myself,” Fighter said.
Not well enough , Sumireko thought. “Still, don’t get overconfident.”
“No high kicks, right?”
“Right! Go for the knees instead. Now,” Sumireko said, moving on, “we get to veils. Those’re how graphically you want to show a touchy subject. Or not, and just tell or even allude to what happens?”
“How do you mean?”
Sumireko hesitated. “That’s why we have terms like “fate worse than death,”” she said. “And x-cards are when things go too far for somebody and it needs to stop now. ”
Yukari nodded. “Consent is always negotiable. Oh, that reminds me.” And in front of each of the players came a paper from a gap. “ Consent form checklists . What you’re okay with, or not, and how much.”
Everyone boggled at theirs. “Pretty complex…” Fighter mumbled.
“The night is dark, and full of terrors,” Yukari said. “This isn’t even a complete list, but it should suffice for us. Oop, almost forgot.” Out gapped a pencil for each player. “They’re like quills, but made of wood and compressed coal.”
Even Warrior quickly figured out how to use them, and so the party spent a few minutes bubbling in what awfulness they’d tolerate, or wouldn’t. While unsure how it was relevant to a wargame or training, it was rules-heavy anyway so they played along with the weirdos who could overpower them otherwise. Once done, they handed their sheets over to Sumireko when they were done.
“I’ll just give these a quick looksee. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.”
“There’s a lot of terms we’re not familiar with,” Fighter said.
Sumireko flipped through the sheets, her eyes first focusing on the ‘Rape’ section. Priestess checked the red bubble, but everyone else did yellow. One’s still enough for a ‘no’, and even a ‘maybe’ isn’t something you spring on someone. She flipped through them again to see what’d catch her eye, noticing a lot weren’t filled in. Where do I start…? She looked through the Sexual Content section and saw they were all filled in. No confusion there, maybe. “You said there were unfamiliar terms?”
“A bunch of them at the start,” Fighter said. “May as well go from the beginning with whatever this “Gaslighting” is.”
Sumireko turned to Priestess. “That’d be perfect. It’s when some creep asserts that lies are truth; convincing you you’re wrong when you know you’re right. Like killing a poisoned teammate instead of giving them the antidote that’s right there and claiming they’re beyond help, all to isolate you.” The moeblob’s mouth hung open. “Or covering you in blood allegedly to hide your scent. Or being forced to watch baby-killing while being told that some races are inherently evil-”
Priestess closed her eyes, covered her ears, and started praying.
Sumireko handed back the sheets for the players to update, which they quickly did.
“I think jumping ahead to racism is in order,” Yukari said. “Purity is for Lunarians. ”
The table thus continued the discussion, with thankfully no further trauma.
With the checklists finally filled out, Sumireko collected them while handing out the gaming materials. She took a deep breath. “Finally time to actually play the game.”
Yukari tapped on Sumireko’s smartphone. “Let’s set the tone with some music.” Seconds later the room filled with an instrumental song that sounded…cavernous? Sumireko looked at her phone lying on the table; she had no idea what “Ecolove” was, but it felt fitting. She looked at the table and- where’d those two tablets come from? She picked one up and glanced at the screen; an electronic game map. She tapped ‘GM View’ and saw the entirety of a simple cave system. There was a note at the part that branched off to the interior. She tapped on it and it mentioned a Perception check.
This is that cave, Sumireko thought.
Then she remembered that Yukari was also the one who handed out the consent forms. And she was the GM, not some creep calling himself Truth.
Another calming breath. “You arrive at the goblin cave…”
And the party entered. Warrior took the front, using a light spell cast by Priestess to see. Wizard and Priestess walked behind him, side-by-side so as to watch each other’s flank. Fighter took the rear to protect the softer center from ambushes. In spite of her positioning she served as party leader due to her maturity.
The party came to a goblin totem, and their superior lighting let them see the fork in the cave that dim torchlight would have missed. They debated what to do, but decided not to block it off with a magic barrier; it could last long enough to prevent escape from a building rigged to explode, but would end by the time battle began.
As it soon would when the party reached an interior cavern, dozens of goblins rushing in. The party backed off, Warrior blocking off a relative choke point. Wizard and Priestess sniped at goblins with firebolt and holy light. Fighter took care of any who got past Warrior.
Then the ambush from behind came.
As agreed on, Priestess cast her barrier between herself and Fighter, the spell being actually useful in the narrow passage the party backed into. There was still room to scoot through, but it was reduced enough to ease Fighter’s work. She was outnumbered, and the goblins got some hits in, but each fell to a kick in the head.
Still, the attritional combat wore down the melee combatants. Priestess had the presence of mind to heal them but she only had so much divine grace to spare. And the goblins kept coming.
In particular, an ogre-like hobgoblin. While Warrior was able to cleave multiple goblins at a time, he could only get a cut in before the hobgoblin yanked his shield away, blocked his future blows, and beat him down with it. Wizard got in one last firebolt before she was knocked out in one hit. Thankfully having no more smaller goblins to deal with, Fighter gave the hob a hard kick to his knee, forcing him into a kneel. But his arm still had reach and strength, and was able to catch her next kick.
It was all Priestess could do to cast holy light as the Hob bounced Fighter on each of the walls…but it was enough to down him.
“I…think we shouldn’t try our luck in the cave,” Fighter said.
“No need to linger longer~,” Yukari said.
Then each party member fell into a gap.
Sumireko whipped around. “What the hell?!”
“I’m not sure what you were so worried about; I sent them someplace far more pleasant, and interesting, than their home world.”
“... Where? ”
“Green…”
Being spirited to an alien locale should begin with more gravitas, but the word was accurate if nothing else. The climate was similar to where they last were, on the way to the goblin cave, but there were trees and brush, all were much leafier, and moss grew everywhere: trees, stones, the ground, possibly the bushes, and the sign up ahead.
Fighter walked up to it while her party was getting their bearings. It wasn’t in the Common script she knew, yet she understood it all the same. Like those stories of world-lost heroes Father told me about, she thought. She read the simple message.
WELCOME
TO
SANDPOINT
Beneath that was a diamond-shaped shard of mirrored glass, and a longer message.
“PLEASE STOP TO
SEE YOURSELF
AS WE SEE YOU.”
Fighter did so, though she could only see most of her face, and the feather floating down in front of her. “Oh!” She deftly caught the tip and examined it: large, blue-gray, and…
She stroked it along her face; it felt sensual…and comforting. She would love to be hugged by the wings of whatever this came from. She tucked it in her hair as a good luck charm. It held uncannily fast as she trotted back to the rest of her party catching up. It began to rain, but they already had a place to rest up and begin their adventures.
They were free from the despot proclaiming itself Truth and Wisdom, but the Host of Delectation would watch over them still.