Chapter Text
Kylo straddled the bar stool and slapped his credit card onto the worn-smooth wood of the bar top. “Open a tab.”
“Hello to you, too, Kylo,” Phasma smirked, plucking the card up with a practiced hand. “What shall I start you off with? Guinness or PBR?”
Kylo’s jaw clenched. “Bourbon. Straight.”
Phasma looked up from swiping his card, eyebrows raised. “Don’t you think you should pace yourself? Can’t get laid if you’ve got whiskey dick.”
“Not interested in that tonight. I’ve already been fucked once today.”
Phasma nodded her understanding that he didn’t mean it in the literal sense, and poured two fingers of Jack into a rocks glass.
“I can’t wait to hear what you did, now,” she grinned as she set the glass in front of him.
Kylo heaved a deep sigh and downed the Jack in one go. Phasma shook her head at his grimace. “Okay, fine, next time add one of those fancy ice balls.” She snorted and took the glass back.
“It started last night when I was moderating my discord server.”
“You have a discord server?”
“Yeah. I started it for gay D&D players who have fighter characters. Mine is an eldritch knight fighter, so I call it the Knights of Ren. Shut up. Anyway, last night someone was saying that he’d finally unpacked the last of his boxes after his move, and found an old porn mag he’d kept because the featured model was both hot and claimed to be a D&D player. He posted scans from the magazine, and…fuck me sideways, I did not expect to see pics of Hux, of all people, posing nude.”
Phasma’s eyebrows shot up as she handed him his glass back, this time with a sphere of ice. “Hux? Coworker Hux?” Kylo nodded. “In a magazine? With his dick out?”
“Dick out.” Kylo swirled his glass, watching the sphere rotate and slosh the bourbon around. “It was beautiful, too.” The most gorgeous cock he’d ever seen.
Phasma raised a hand. “Don’t need details! I prefer dicks made of silicone and strapped on.”
Kylo sighed and shook his head. “I can’t believe Hux posed nude! That dude is made of solid ice. I wasn’t sure if he even has any interest in sex.”
“Maybe he just isn’t interested in sex with you.”
“Fuck off. These weren’t even tasteful nudes. There was one where he was on his knees, bowing forward, ass up and spreading his…” Phasma slapped the bar, glaring at him. “Anyway, of course I downloaded the pics immediately and backed them up. I even begged to buy the magazine from the guy, but he refused. He did post the cover so I could try to find another copy.”
Kylo pouted into his drink. “He was right about Hux and D&D. There was one of those model interviews in the magazine and he mentioned his character was an Artificer. I thought…I had this brilliant idea…”
Phasma rolled her eyes. “Ah yes, your brilliant ideas. Let’s hear it.”
“I figured this was my chance to ask him out. Show him that I’ve seen the nudes, and let him know how much we have in common.” Phasma looked skeptical. “We’re both into D&D. Hux has an amazing ass. I’m a big fan of amazing asses. So, anyway I went into work this morning, the whole thing planned out.”
Phasma folded her arms. “And how did it go?”
~
“Morning, Hux.” Kylo felt adrenaline coursing through him as he approached the gorgeous redhead, pushing down his memory of learning that Hux was red all over.
The slim man turned from unpacking his laptop bag and regarded him with icy green eyes. “Ren.”
“I have something you’re going to want to see.” He pulled out his phone and tapped onto the folder with the pics that changed his life the night before.
Hux narrowed his eyes. “What are you bragging about, now?”
“It’s you who should be bragging. You’re a brilliant model. I like how this one says both ‘fuck me’ and ‘fuck you’ at the same time.”
Hux glanced down at the phone in confusion before freezing, his eyes growing wide. Kylo grinned at seeing Hux speechless for once. He swiped to the next picture. “This is my favorite. It’s absolutely filthy.” He made tsking noises. “Hux, you naughty boy.”
Hux lost whatever color was left in his face and looked up at Kylo, eyes flinty. “I suppose you’re planning to show these to Snoke.”
Kylo felt the blood in his veins ice over. Oh no. Shit. Of course Hux would think this is some sort of power play. It was that first day all over again.
~~
Two years ago when they first met, both starting a job at Snoke’s, Kylo had put his foot in it. He’d looked Hux up and down, gave him his most predatory grin, and said, “Watch your back.”
He’d planned to follow it up with a joke about bending him over a desk, but Hux’s polite expression dropped into a sneer and he said, “Oh it’s like that, is it? Let me make one thing clear, Mr. Ren, if you even think about screwing me over in this job? I will make you regret you were ever born.” Kylo had been so turned on by the threat that he didn’t clear up the misunderstanding. And from that day forward the office was like a battleground. Snoke was so amused that he encouraged it.
~~
His face flaming, Kylo muttered, “I won’t tell Snoke about your dirty little photo shoot…”
Hux folded his arms. “What do you want?”
Shitfuckshit! Kylo hadn’t meant to use that tone…the tone that insinuated a threatening if at the end of his sentence. Without thinking, he held up the invitation he’d been planning to give Hux, back before things had gone horrifically wrong.
Now in some bizarro version of his plan, he told Hux that he needed a date to this Valentine’s fundraiser his mother was hosting, and somehow made it seem like an ultimatum. Hux agreed to be his date, not because Kylo had charmingly convinced him of their compatibility, but because he thought he was being blackmailed.
~
Phasma was practically crying with laughter as Kylo finished his tale. If it weren’t for the fact that she was always so generous with her pour, he would have to think about taking his business elsewhere.
Phasma placed a Guinness on the bar top. “You get this one for free, because that was truly the most pathetic story I’ve ever heard. But then you have to go home and sleep it off.”
Kylo agreed to her terms.
*
Hux trudged into the bar, back stiff from sitting in a chair all day and eyes bleary from the sheer number of fucking emails he’d had to slog through. He wanted to spend his days at work building things, not deluged with correspondence.
He slumped down onto a barstool and fished out his wallet. “Good evening, Phasma,” he said as he handed her his credit card. “Open a tab, if you don’t mind.”
She gave him a sympathetic smile. “Working late again, Hux?” He nodded in resignation. She handed him a gin and tonic. “Most people who come here after work get here early enough to experience this little thing called Happy Hour. It’s nice, you get discounted drinks and cute little sliders.”
Hux sniffed. “I can afford full price. And I don’t need child-sized hamburgers. I need to be made a project lead. I know Snoke has something big planned, and if I don’t bust my arse, Kylo Ren will get it.” Hux said his name with a snarl as he downed half the G&T in one gulp. He closed his eyes in bliss. It was exactly what he needed.
Phasma’s expression did something odd before settling on amused inquiry. “So, the rivalry continues?”
Hux scowled. “Yes. I guess? I’ll be honest, I have no idea what’s going on. Ren threatened me today, but for some reason it wasn’t related to our jobs. At least it doesn’t appear to be.”
Ren had somehow stumbled across his nude magazine spread, even though it was years ago. He was generally quite proud of if it weren’t for the fact that his boss Snoke was a religious bigot who would absolutely fire him over it. Hell, he’d fire him just for being gay.
Hux summarized the events of the morning. “I don’t get it, Phasma. Ren has the means to decimate my career, and instead he’s using this weapon at his disposal to force me to…attend a fundraiser? One that is Valentine’s themed…as his date?” He shook his head. “He’s a brilliant engineer, but utter shit at strategy.”
Phasma coughed loudly into a napkin, and Hux briefly considered the possibility she had something contagious and maybe he should leave. But then he remembered her heavy pour and kept his seat. He estimated three more G&Ts were needed to forget this disaster of a day.
Tomorrow night he’d be attending some gala, meeting Ren’s family for fucks sake, but all of it was fake. For reasons that made no sense. Why was Ren the way that he was? And why did Hux wish it were real?
*
“So, Phasma, are you ever going to tell Ren or Hux that they’ve got it bad for each other?”
Phasma turned to regard Mitaka, a regular who had decent pull as a bottom and has drunkenly confessed more than once, to her chagrin, that he likes being choked. “Given that they spend a lot of money in here drowning their sorrows, what do you think?”
Mitaka smirked at her. She narrowed her eyes and walked over where he was perched at the far end of the bar. “Don’t even think of saying anything to either of them or I’ll ban you from this place.” Mitaka’s eyes widened. He knew that part of the reason he pulled so much here was because of her heavy pour to tops who were lightweights.
But then he surprised her when his expression turned sly. “Oh, I have no intention of spilling the beans. The last thing I want is those two getting together. It would ruin my chances with Ren.” He giggled darkly and Phasma barked out a laugh, holding up her hand to high five him. She was relieved she wouldn’t have to ban him. More than one top had become a regular wanting to get in Mitaka’s pants. Hopefully Mitaka would never realize that Ren wasn’t one of them.