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Percy wasn’t the most open person. They had all figured that out eventually, even though that fact was hidden under his kindness and selflessness. You had to really pay attention, but if you looked close enough you could see that he never really talked about his own life.
Every quest he mentioned or that someone asked him about, he recounted as if he wasn’t even on it. He offhandedly mentioned things that no one else could dream of doing with impossible casualty and they often didn’t even know it was something that he actually did.
It wasn’t typically a problem, after all Annabeth would just chuckle and correct his explanation to include him, but it was becoming a pattern. People who grew up with him, like Annabeth and Nico, didn’t seem surprised by any of that whenever it happened, often just rolling their eyes or taking over the storytelling. But, for the rest of the demigods on the Argo II it was incredibly confusing.
They didn’t understand how someone could have done so much, been through so much, and not even seem to realize it. In fact, Piper and Leo confessed early on to not believing half the stories about Percy were even true because he never mentioned any of them.
People at camp half blood talked about him constantly, from how he defeated the Minotaur with no training to how he defeated Ares in a fight, not to mention that he was only twelve years old at the time. But, it seemed incredibly far-fetched to the members of their group that had never even heard him brag about being a son of one of the Big Three.
He seemed to do everything in his power to avoid talking about himself at all, instead directing the conversation to other people at every opportunity. At first they thought it was likely because he just expected everyone to know and respect him already, but the more they got to know him the more they knew that couldn’t be it.
It was almost like he didn’t even realize a lot of his accomplishments were impressive at all. They didn’t know if he was just desensitized to doing incredible things at that point, or if he just didn’t think he played an important part, but it was shocking to discover either way.
Eventually, after the tenth time of him brushing off an accomplishment of his, they asked Annabeth about it. The rest of them were eating dinner in the dining room, but Percy had stayed on watch above deck. Annabeth and Nico were talking quietly about Roman and Greek relations in one corner, but Piper cleared her throat to interrupt them.
“Hey, Annabeth?” They both looked up at her, along with everyone else in the room. “Do you know why Percy never talks about your quests, or himself in general?” She didn’t know what she had expected in response, but it definitely wasn’t the deep sigh they got in return from both Annabeth and Nico.
“Yeah, we were wondering that too.” Frank added, Hazel nodding in agreement next to him. “At first we thought it was just because he had no memories, but it didn’t really change at all when he got them back.”
The rest of the group seemed to agree, waiting for Annabeth’s answer. But, Nico was the first to speak. “That’s just how Percy’s always been.” He said it dryly, shaking his head slightly. “He couldn’t talk about his own achievements to save his life.” Annabeth frowns slightly next to him, but doesn’t say anything else.
“So is he just desensitized to all of it, or something? Nothing ever seems to shake him.” Jason questions, directing the question to Nico, who just shrugs in response.
“No, that’s not it.” Annabeth interrupts, frown deepening. She only gets confused glances in response but ignores them. “He’s never hesitated to say that something is crazy or surprising. He just avoids all mentions of himself doing anything important in the situation.” She rests her chin on her hand, thinking hard.
“I don’t really know why he doesn’t mention it, but he has always been super humble. It’s kind of like he doesn’t realize his actions are important at all.” At that last sentence her face dropped, her eyes widening in surprise. She let out a soft ‘oh’ and stood, rushing out of the room.
The rest of them just shrugged, satisfied with the explanation. They returned to eating, ignoring the confusion the conversation left them with.
As Annabeth rushed out of the dining room to find Percy above deck, she did her best to consider how to approach this conversation. She knew that Percy hated talking about their quests, but it hadn’t occurred to her that he didn’t realize they were important at all.
He was focused on the water when she approached him, staring out over the railing. But, he seemed to sense her presence, turning to her with a beaming smile. She couldn’t help but smile back, giving in to the hug he offered and wrapping her arms around his waist. With her head tucked against his chest, she let herself just breathe in his scent of sea salt for a minute before breaking the silence.
“Can I ask you something?” She spoke softly, but he seemed to realize what she was going to say was important to her. She felt him nod above her, trusting her to understand from just the gesture. “Do you avoid talking about our quests because you don’t think they were important?” She felt his arms tighten slightly around her, and he sighed into her hair.
“That’s part of it.” He mumbled, softly. “I know they were important but I don’t think they were that big of a deal. People tend to react strongly whenever I talk about it so I just don’t.” She frowned, pulling away slightly to look him in the eyes. He looked back, expression weary and slightly drained.
“I just… I’ve never liked attention. You know that. The way people look at us, look at me, whenever we talk about our quests has never made sense to me, probably never will. It’s just not who I am. I didn’t do those things for glory or fame, I just did them to protect the people I loved.” He shrugged, shaking his head slightly and turning his eyes back to the water beyond the railing.
“You know the things we did, you did, were important though, right. You are allowed to talk about yourself sometimes.” Her gaze was unwavering, but he simply sighed, looking away.
“Yeah, I know.” He looked at the night sky briefly, eyes growing sad. “I’ve never been great at that, but I’m working on it.” She accepted that answer, recognizing that he clearly did not want to talk about it further, and falling back into his arms. After standing like that for a while longer he pulled back, smiling at her quickly.
“We should probably go check on the others, Reyna’s up for watch anyway.” He took her hand after letting go of her waist, leading her away from the railing and back towards the rest of their friends.
When they got back, still gripping tightly to each other’s hands, the rest of the group was sitting on the floor in a circle. No one noticed them come in, so they watched as Leo pointed at his arm for a few moments before he saw them. “Oh, hey guys!” Reyna noticed Percy with her and left to go on watch with only a brief nod in their direction. “We were just comparing scar stories.”
Annabeth cocked an eyebrow at that, but she and Percy went to join the circle anyway. They sat in between Nico and Jason, Annabeth gesturing for them to continue. They listened to the others talk for a while, hearing the stories of many scars coming from different fights and monsters, though the funniest had to be Jason’s stapler scar. Neither of them offered up one of their own stories, but their friends soon ran out of their own, turning towards them.
Percy rubbed his arms self-consciously, trying not to meet anyone's eyes. “We have a bunch, it would take forever to tell all the stories.” Annabeth interrupted before they could ask, trying to prevent them from pushing further.
“Well what about the ones on your arms and legs, Percy? I’ve never noticed those before?” Welp, never mind. She looked over to Percy, watching him curl into himself slightly. She noticed that for the first time in a while he was wearing a T-shirt and shorts. He usually wore clothes with sleeves and pants but that was too hot for that day. She knew he usually avoided T-shirts because of his scars, after all she did the same thing, but she hadn’t noticed those scars before.
There were shiny burns lining his entire arms, twisting around them from his hands to under his shirt. She grabbed his arm quickly, gasping in surprise. Ignoring his slight wince, she studied the scars closer, noticing they were also wrapping around his lower legs also. “Annabeth.” He hissed, quietly, wrenching his arm out of her grip.
“No,” She spoke harsher than she meant to, meeting his eyes fiercely. “When did you get those, they weren’t there before.” He just looked at her, the rest of the room staring in awkward silence. He glanced around quickly, seeing all of the eyes on him, before slouching even more.
“They’re from Mount Saint Helens, when it erupted.” Seeing her blatant confusion, he sighed pulling his arms closer to his chest. “They had faded a while ago but being in… um… T-Tartarus” He flinched at the same time she did, “must have aggravated them.” She frowned, looking back at the burns he was doing his best to hide from her view.
“I didn’t know it was that bad.” She whispered, brokenly, feeling her eyes burn. He just shrugged looking down at his lap.
“Damn, man, why were you that close to an active volcano?” They were broken out of their silence by Jason, who was looking at them with confusion. Percy just stared blankly at him for a moment, not understanding the question. Luckily, Annabeth understood after only a moment.
“Percy and I were sent by Hephaestus to get rid of some telkhines in his forge there, but they attacked us and we had to escape. As we were leaving Percy accidentally blew it up.” It wasn’t the most elegantly put, but it seemed to get the point across. Percy looked like he would rather be anywhere else, curled in on himself.
“Wow, I didn’t know about that.” Nico muttered from next to Percy, looking the most shocked out of all of them. Percy just shrugged, still seeming to be trying to make himself as small as possible.
“Yeah, I don’t really like talking about it too much, it’s kind of the whole reason Typhoon woke and thousands of people had to be evacuated.” He looked close to tears, not meeting anyone’s eyes.
“Well, sure, but it’s crazy you had that much power, how’d you even do it?” Leo practically shouted, seeming oblivious to Percy’s obvious reluctance to continue the conversation.
Percy frowned, finally looking up from his lap. “I didn't do it on purpose.” He almost snarled, before taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly. “Telkhines were throwing lava at me and I was burning alive. I panicked and summoned water, stupidly, making the volcano erupt.” He went back to looking like a kicked puppy, all of his anger gone. “I really shouldn’t have survived it at all, but I’m a little fire resistant because of my dad.”
The rest of the room was silent, no one knowing how to respond. Nico was, surprising, the first to speak up. “How come no one ever talks about that story, I’ve always heard a bunch of others, but no one mentioned anything about the eruption.” His tone was slightly skeptical, as if he didn’t even really believe Percy could be hurt.
Percy just looked at him wearily, sighing deeply. “No one likes to talk about those things.” He paused briefly, looking at his lap and seeming to collect himself. “If they don’t mention how we get hurt on quests, how much pain we’re in, then they don’t have to take the blame.”
“I mean, no one ever likes to mention that before I defeated the Minotaur I watched what I thought was my mom being squeezed to death beforehand. That I mourned her death for weeks afterwards.” He paused, a tear sliding down his cheeks.
“My quests weren’t a big deal to me because I spent every moment since I was twelve waiting to die. Even though I didn’t read the great prophecy until I was fifteen everyone knew that’s what was supposed to happen.” Annabeth winced in remembrance. “When your whole life is about living just to die in sacrifice, you learn to focus on the important things.”
“Most of the stories of our quest skip all of the parts that paint the gods, or me, in a bad light. If they ignore all of that then they seem like the heroes.” He looks up at all of them quickly, meeting each of their eyes.
“That’s why I don’t really like when people talk about them, because they make me seem like some perfect hero, when I was really just a desperate kid for most of them.”
They just stared at him in silence when he finished, Annabeth reaching over to take his hand. She gently wiped his wet cheeks off with her thumb, brushing it under his eyes. He smiled slightly at her before slowly standing.
“Sorry,” He chuckled awkwardly, moving to leave the room. “It’s just a sore spot, I’m sure the scars will fade soon.” No one moved to follow him as he left, just sitting in silence.
Annabeth didn’t speak, though they all looked at her. She simply buried her face in her hands, trying to sort through her spinning thoughts.
“Sometimes I forget that the prophecy was weighing on him for so long.” Nico whispered softly, eyes facing the ground. “He never talks about it, but knowing that you aren’t going to live past sixteen couldn’t have been easy.” He looks over to Annabeth, meeting her eyes as she looks up.
“Why does no one ever tell that part of his story?” As he spoke, she remembered just how young Nico was. She knew that he had a hard life, but he still missed a lot of the war effort that many of them faced. He didn’t know the ugly side of the group of forty children who fought in a war alone.
She just shook her head, looking away again. “It’s like he said. The gods can’t tell that story without looking bad, so they just ignore it.” She sighed, standing again and leaving without saying anything else, leaving the other demigods in silence once again.
She walked slowly to Percy’s room, taking her time. The door was open when she got there, but she still knocked on the door frame before going in. He didn’t respond to her knock, but she walked through anyway. She found him curled up on his bed, face buried in his hands.
She rushed to him, pulling him to her and letting him lean against her. “Oh, Percy. I know.” She soothed him gently, waiting as his sobs softened slightly.
She just held him for a while, tears of her own joining his the longer he cried. Eventually, though, she only heard soft hiccups and sniffles coming from him, and looked down towards him. He was curled against her, face buried in her shoulder and his arms around her waist.
He didn’t look up at her, but she heard him whisper softly. “You know, I’ve been used my entire life.” He hiccuped slightly. “I’ve been a weapon to be used, we’ve all been weapons, and no one seems to notice.” A few more tears slid down her cheeks at his words.
“I don’t want to be a weapon anymore.” His voice broke in the middle of the sentence, and his sobs began again with a new ferocity.
She squeezed her eyes shut as she tightened her hold on him. They both knew everything he said was true, that everything about their lives was unfair. But, there was nothing they could do about it. She didn’t say anything, couldn’t find any words that would fix anything, instead just holding him as tight as she could.
Both of them had been burned too many times to think they wouldn’t be again, and their wounds were still healing. Neither of them wanted to continue, but there were no better options. They continued to keep moving forwards, even though they both knew they were slowly bleeding out. They didn’t get a chance to heal, to stop, because there was no time.
They just continued to pick themselves up and keep moving, even though it was getting harder each time. As Annabeth sat there, holding onto Percy for with all the strength she could muster, she considered all of the other scars he had that she hadn’t seen.
She had a large number of her own, but she didn’t know how Percy continued to keep going with his growing collection. It could only be so long before one was unable to heal, she figured. But, she would just have to be there to stitch them up for him, like he always did for her.