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He was born with six parts heart. And left with one.
When did it start?
That thought came to Osomatsu quite often recently, emerging around the same time he thought about when, to be exact, Jyushimatsu started acting like an autistic--was he, after all this time? Was his current condition the result of his illness being mistreated for god knows how many decades? Or was it due to some chronic abandonment?
Osomatsu never cared about that kind of thing before. What's important for him was his brothers to stick together. To hell where their personal path would take them. Choromatsu could be an otaku as long as he liked; Karamatsu could be painful in seven different pathway to hell; Ichimatsu could swarm the house with catnips and cat toys; Jyushimatsu could be the baseball-idiot forever; Todomatsu could lie his way to different social circles. Osomatsu never cared. They were his brothers. Five other person who born together with him in a relatively minutiae differences. Osomatsu was the one who supported ALL of them since they're in their mother's womb, he's the one who born the last after he made sure his brothers came out safely, and it was the role he intended to keep. To always support his brothers unconditionally. To keep them together as a family.
Now he wondered when and where his role failed his brothers.
They were strong together as kids. Whenever Osomatsu went, his brothers would tag along behind him. He believed his brothers would always stick close to his back he never bothered to look back and made sure his pack's safe. He just needed to lead them, not dictate them.... right?
But now that he thought about it again, he didn't even know when exactly his brothers started to gain some personal independent like they were. Not just Jyuushimatsu, he also didn't know when Karamatsu started to buy those embarrassing clothes, or when Choromatsu being such an avid otaku, or when Ichimatsu became that constant gloomy presence in their house.
Osomatsu never cared, for he just needed to lead. To support, like they way he has been since he's in their mother's womb. And he believed some aspects, even as brothers or sextuplets, were bound to be better unknown.
Yet, he felt like slowly, so slowly he's losing his grasp to his brothers. The five other person who born together with him in minutiae differences, the other five who he believed would stick close to him forever. It felt like they're scattering about now, and Osomatsu needed to ran all over the town to pick up the--reluctant--pieces he didn't even recognize anymore. His brothers would tag along when he picked them up, but with some reluctance that made his steps heavy, his body weary. Todomatsu even clearly stated that he was embarrassed being seen huddled together with his womb-brothers. Of course, Osomatsu could also listen to others' grumbling as well, but he paid them no mind and kept going on. They would follow him for a moment, as if to humour him. And then they would left again.
And deep down, Osomatsu knew someday they would leave for good.
When he thought about that, it felt like brothers started to feel more and more like strangers.
So he desperately reached out, just to heard his brothers’ constant protest about him being a nuisance, a nosy brother, a little more. Just to hear their voice a little more. And he wished, oh he wished he was an only child, so his heart wouldn't get so empty when five parts of his heart being ripped off his chest, sauntering into places he didn't know and couldn't follow. He wished he was born with one, big heart he need not to share so he could bear being alone, so he could used to loneliness.
But that's not what's happening, right?
Because he was born with six parts heart. And left with one full of longing thread grasping painfully to the other five. It was given. It was destined. He felt his time’s ticking the second he step off the school gate into the real world and it was only a matter of time before he needed to cut the correct chords before it blasted away.
But when will it be?
Can he cut the right chord? Or would he blasted away and destroy everything?