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When Kylo returned to the room, Hux was sitting on the sofa covered with a warm black blanket, with tea in one hand and an uneaten ration bar in the other—exactly how Kylo had left him an hour ago. He sighed quietly and kneeled next to him. Trying to be gentle, trying to be unimposing. Hux injured two men from medical personnel who wanted to help him in the transport.
"Your tea went cold, Hux." He whispered, trying to get his attention. Hux shifted, blinked, and glanced at him, his eyes were empty. It was quite obvious that he was still somewhere else, mentally at least. Hux breathed out slowly, placed a cup and a protein bar on the table next to him, and sighed quietly.
"I am just... " He trailed off.
"It's fine. I will get you another one.”
“No. No. I will take IV." He rubbed his face, drawing his legs to his chest, curling himself on the couch.
"You should eat. "
"Give me a few more hours and I will.” Kylo doubted it.
"Medics are threatening that they will put a tube in you if you don't eat something. I am trying to spare you this.” They were ready to do that at first sight of Hux, put a tube in him or place him in a bacta tank. That would be the best they said, but Kylo did not agree. He knew Hux would hate it, he knew he would try to stop them, probably hurting himself even more. He knew Hux would claw to any scrap of autonomy and independence that he had.
"Yes, I know. And I am trying to eat." Hux said irritated. "Maybe I should remind you that a few hours ago I was tortured! And I...” he took a deep, shaky breath “I can't." He closed his eyes draping a blanket over himself. Kylo sat on the ground crossing his legs. Giving him time. Hux took another deep breath. " I will try in a few minutes." He said at last; he sounded defeated and for Kylo it was even more heartbreaking. Hux was always fierce in fight, and he was always fighting. Defeat did not fit him at all " What about rebels?" Hux asked glancing at him.
"They have run. "Hux pressed his lips together "But Phasma is on it. And my Knights. We will get them. And I will kill every one of them that dared to harm you, Hux." It was a vow.
"What are you even doing here Ren? Doesn’t the Supreme Leader have more important things to do? "
"No." Kylo said simply and Hux frowned.
"No?"
"No. I don't have anything more important than you right now, Grand Marshall." He said softly. Oh, so softly. Hux wanted to scream. Hux wanted to hurt him. Badly. But there was something in him that was pleased. Because how predictable was Kylo... Oh, how predictable.
"Is that so?" He snorted "If I knew tortures would get me a promotion, I would have surrendered myself ages ago." His words were loaded with venom. Kylo bit his lip.
"I. Maybe I didn't think it through..."
"You never think Ren. What do you think all of them will assume? That you gave me a rank out of pity. Look little wounded Armitage at last got a proper rank. Let him play with new toys, so he won't interfere with adults talking." He said bitterly.
"It’s not like that. Maybe I didn't think it through, but you deserve it. You do. And all of these jerks know that. And they are jealous, Hux. They are so jealous that they gave you away to the rebels."
Hux froze in place.
"They... "
"Pryde, Canady, Peavey... " Hux was silent for a solid five minutes breathing heavily. When his breath became even shorter Ren stood up and sat next to him. "Hux."
"Dead? All of them?"
"No. They are in a holding cell. I... thought you would like to do it by yourself" Hux nodded, threw a blanket on the floor, and stood up. "Hux"
"I want to see them. "
"Now? Like... like this?" Hux looked ghastly... pale. Thin. Thinner than ever. He had bacta patches on his face. Two of his teeth were broken. At least seven of his fingers were fractured and had to be stabilized by medics. Not to mention bruises, scars, red inflamed spots all over him, and internal damage. His captors weren’t kind ones, for sure. But Hux endured and Kylo will hunt them down, sooner or later. He had to settle for later because Hux clearly was not well. Hux pulled on a black shirt, he was already wearing loose long pants. He was barefoot. And there was pure madness in his eyes. Kylo went after him as he left the room. "Hux wait! Kriff you should rest.”
"I will rest after they are all dead. " He said heading to prison levels. It had to be quite a look. Grand Marshall Hux storming through corridors barefoot. It had to be quite a look when he rushed into the cell and froze immediately. Looking at three officers who stood up quickly. It was more of a surprise-driven reaction than a sign of respect. They were looking at Hux; one with disdain, one with surprise, and one with fear.
"Close the door. " Hux said and Kylo obeyed. " Turn off cameras and tell troops to leave" he obeyed again. There was power in Hux's voice. The power that one can take only from pain. And Kylo was drunk with that. Force was humming in his head pleased.
"It's... it's against protocol! I demand a... a proper court-martial and..."
" You are in no position to demand anything, Canady. "Hux hissed. " I am the only judge you will face."
" It was Pryde's idea!" And at that, Hux laughed. Humourlessly. It was getting better and better. Pryde’s idea? Very well. Canady was visibly shaking. Hux held up a blaster, that he yanked from the trooper's hands earlier and shot without hesitation. Canady fell to the ground without making any sound.
"Hux! General Hux! Please Canady was telling the truth. It was all Pryde's doing!" Peavey backed down to the wall.
"And you were just nearby?" Hux frowned. "It's Grand Marshall now, Peavey."
"I am so sorry. I am sorry. Please, Armitage, I have..." A blaster bolt went clean into his head. Hux turned to Pryde. He was silent. Looking at Hux without fear.
"Not very loyal companions you have chosen, Allegiant General."
"They were tools. Useful but never meant to last for long. Just like you” Just like you. Hux thought “But here you are. "
"Here I am, indeed." Hux dropped a blaster on the ground.
"For the record." He said looking at Hux "I sold you to be killed not tortured."
"Don't tell me you're sorry, Enric..."
"Not at all. Happy misunderstanding... But all good things have a price I suppose. Time to pay it."
"Time to pay it indeed,” he said and looked at Kylo “I want him to suffer... Make him scream." And Kylo obeyed again. He went through Pryde's mind tearing it apart, leaving only memories of pain and humiliation. He pulled and cut without any care or any purpose. He felt power, and he felt pain. And he heard a scream. So loud and intense, so full of pain and despair. But it was not Pryde's scream, although he was screaming. Kylo stopped and turned around to face Hux. He was standing behind him looking at Pryde on the floor.
"Why did you stop?' He asked angry.
"You need rest, Hux. And it's non-negotiable. Rest, food, and IV" he sobered up shaking off the darkness that was still sticking to him "He is not going anywhere. You can torture him tomorrow. Do you want me to carry you...?"
"No, I am perfectly capable of..." he shivered and almost fell. Kylo caught him and held him steadily. Hux was unnaturally warm, his eyes were wide open, feverish. Ren held him closer to his chest.
"I know you are Hux. But let me help. I know you would be able to crawl to your quarters just to prove me something but let's not make a spectacle out of this. Please. You don't have to."
Hux sighed and nodded leaning into his arms. Kylo could feel his tiredness, his pain, his mind still screaming. He took a deep breath and picked him up. He was so light that it felt wrong, Kylo felt a sudden urge to turn back and tear Pryde apart. Piece by piece.
"You feel it too, right?" Hux whispered. "I..."
"I do, Hux." Grand Marshall nodded slowly and breathed out.
"Can you do something about it? With force?" Kylo froze.
"I... I don't know. I might but... I don't want to harm you any further." Hux sighed and closed his eyes resting his head on Kylo's shoulders. Ignoring tears falling down his cheeks.
Everything has a price to pay.
Days and weeks bled into each other into one, slow and painful torment. Hux could hardly work, hardly sleep and hardly cope with anything that happened. And the awareness that he alone brings it upon himself did not help at all. Visiting Pryde cheered him up for a while but not necessarily helped in a way Hux needed. He sighed yanking his gloves off and winced in pain, his fingers still too fragile to be treated without care. He breathed in slowly and sat down on his bed. His vision was swimming when he heard that the door opened.
"How is my Grand Marshall?" Kylo entered.
"How is my Grand Marshall?" Hux mimicked him almost bored "How is my dear Grand Marshall? How are you dear?" Ren cleared his throat realizing that Hux was quoting him " And famous 'Hux. You should be in my bed' on the bridge."
"It was a slip of the tongue, and I apologized. On the bridge."
" 'I mean in your bed' it's not an apology. It's merely a correction. Do you have anything to tell me Supreme Leader?"
"And... and if I do?"
"I want to hear it. Now. Or get out. "Kylo sat down next to him. He looked guilty.
"I..."
"Look at me when you are talking. I am not on the wall."
"Kriff why do you have to make everything harder than it is?" Hux smiled at that.
"Annoying, isn't it? Go on." Kylo sighed.
"I need you."
"I know. That's all?"
"I... was worried. About you."
"Yes. I realized, Ren."
"I care."
"You made it quite clear."
"Kriff I fucking hate you."
"Please."
Please.
" When they took you, I thought I was going to either die or kill everyone around..." Kylo choked out.
Hux suddenly looked even more tired. Sad.
" Yes, I feared you may say that. Don't... get me wrong, Ren. You are... there is nothing wrong with you. I mean there is, but you helped me. I appreciate that. I am just... not the right person to... love or whatever you are implying."
Kylo laughed.
"Really? You are talking to me, Hux."
"You don't understand" you don't know what I have done to get this.
"Explain then."
"I never had anyone" and you will never know.
"So am I."
"I never... " Never.
"Me neither."
"I even don't know if I want too ever..." It was a mistake. The price was too high.
"It's fine I don't care." Hux was looking at him confused "Look. If it was about bedding someone, I would ask one of the knights. "
"Then... what is it about?"
"Having someone on my side. Somebody close. That I can rely on and believe in his words. Spend time. Sleep by if it's fine with you. Just sleep nothing more. I am tired of waiting when you will stab me in the back. We should work together. As equals"
Not if. When.
"We will never be equal. There is a huge gap between us and there always will be. Ren. How can’t you see that?” Hux cut him off, quickly, far to quickly.
"I hoped ..."
"Hope is not a thing I can rely on. I am sorry Supreme Leader. I have work to do." He dismissed him. Kylo was looking at him in shock he turned around and exited slowly. He dismissed him. Just like that. After Kylo told him about... love? Feelings? What kind of person does that? He sighed. Hux does. He was actively avoiding him for two weeks after that. He didn't know it was a mistake. Horrible mistake. Hux was frustrated. Still, deeply wounded, recovering from weeks with Resistance and Kylo ignoring him was not helpful. At all. He realized that at the Supreme Council meeting. Hux was not looking at him. Even when he was talking, he kept his eyes somewhere behind him.
Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.
"Look at me!" He said louder than he wanted to. Hux jumped and Kylo immediately felt the need to apologize. Grand Marshall looked at him finally. With disdain. But somewhere behind that, there was fear. Kylo pressed on his mind with force felt pain and heard a scream. "Everybody out except Grand Marshall. " He said quietly. They obeyed without a word. Hux stayed. He was silent. They sat in silence for a few long minutes.
"How are you?" Kylo said.
"Not good," Hux answered. A simple, honest answer that cut deep into Ren’s soul. He looked down.
And then silence.
"I... I am sorry. I shouldn't ignore you like that. I was just... "
"No need to be sorry. I understand. You expected something else. " And I expected you to be wiser. And I expected me to be more confident.
"It didn't give me the right to ignore you. You were honest I should... at least appreciate that.”
And silence again. Hux sighed.
"I... " Should tell you.
"And you were right. There is a gap between us. We are different. But it doesn't mean that we cannot be equal. You will never have force, and I will never be like you. I can fly things. You can build them. I can manipulate people using force, you don't need force even for that. If you can't rely on hope, rely on the fact that I am everything that you are not. And that you are everything that I never will be. Hux I.... "
Oh, Ren.
"Come to my quarters after my shift." Hux blurted out and left the room leaving Kylo alone. Just like that.
*********
"You have a cold nose."
"Don't whine Ren. "
"You know? For someone who doesn't want anything close to sex, you are quite cuddly." Hux glared at him.
"Careful Ren. It's your test night. Do anything wrong and it will never happen again. I can assure you. "
"Easy. I know the rules you were very precise." Hux nuzzled into his neck. It felt good.
"I killed Pryde."
"It helped?"
"What do you think?"
Ren sighed toying with his hair. He observed that Hux visibly relaxed. That was so surreal. So, so surreal. They were lying like that in silence and Kylo felt that Hux couldn't just drift off. "What have they done?" He asked.
He felt as Hux dug his fingers into Kylo’s skin. His lips trembled for a moment. Then he shrugged.
"It's... nothing I want to talk about. I am sure you went through my medical records. "
"I did." Kylo admitted.
"That is an outrageous violation of my privacy, Ren." He said but there was no anger.
"I can stand it, Hux. Just tell me.”
He put his head on Kylo's shoulder. He was silent for a long time. But Kylo knew there was a storm in his mind. And then he started talking.
And talking. And talking. And between this festival of macabre, pain and humiliation. Between tears, broken bones, and uttered words Kylo found himself holding him tightly. Kylo found himself crying, promising that they would all die in pain. Kylo found himself saying "You are safe".
And if only he paid more attention. He would see Hux smiling as he leaned into his arms. He would see not a broken mind but a mind so corrupted with darkness, so submerged in fear that was able to scheme its own destruction. Just for that short, quiet words" You are safe".
It seems that it only takes a few weeks of torture to get him what he wants. Rank, Pryde's head, Kylo Ren... and slowly but surely the whole Galaxy. Now that he has a weapon more powerful than Starkiller.
Love.
And it was painful to get it. But everything has a price to pay. Let's hope it wasn't too high.