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“Kinosaki?” Hikaru asks one night, in the quiet. Kinosaki could have headed back to his apartment, but given the time of night it was when they both got back, after Hikaru had finished patching up both their wounds, he’d decided he wanted to stay here instead, and Hikaru wasn’t complaining.
”Yes, Gero?” He replies from the bathroom, coming out with a towel wrapped around his body. Gero looks away, feeling heat rise to his cheeks for some reason. Kinosaki isn’t a woman, and he knows that, and he doesn’t even look like one now that his breast forms and wig are off, yet… why does he still feel this way, even when the guise is off? Whatever, that’s not something he needs to think about right now.
”Why… why do you care about me? I don’t get it, I tried to force you into marrying me in exchange for letting you live, you know all about my dark past and how I used to kill people for a living… I haven’t even been to school like you have so I’m not really educated, and I’m awkward as hell, so it’s like…” Gero trails off, not knowing what else to say.
“I care about you because you’re you, duh. Sure, you’ve never been to school. That’s not your fault, and you’re extremely smart even without it. Sure, you used to kill people - that’s how you were raised, and for an extremely long time, it was all you knew. At least you’re not killing people now - that’s what really matters. And even if you’re socially awkward, who cares? I actually find that kind of endearing, in a way,” Kinosaki says, smiling at him as he disappears back into the bathroom to change into the clothes Hikaru lended him.
Hikaru can almost feel the dopamine, oxytocin, and noradrenaline his brain releases at that exact moment, stimulating his nervous system and causing his heart to beat rapidly, like it did when he was in his fight with Oshio, the water user. But this time, there’s no fight to boost his adrenaline, no action to make his heart work harder to pump blood through his body. The only explanation for his increased heart rate if Kinosaki… but why would his heart start to beat just because Kinosaki smiled at him?
After all, he has nothing against gay people - his support of his sister and her girlfriend’s relationship is proof of that - but he’s straight. He likes women, and only women. But Kinosaki is a man, so he shouldn’t be attracted to him… Maybe it’s the crossdressing that’s confusing my brain? He thinks, and then immediately dismisses as an idea, because one: it sounds stupid. And two, if he was attracted to Kinosaki because of his feminine presentation, why would his heart beat upon seeing him when he’s not dressed up?
“There’s going to be people out there who don’t like you at all, people out there who like certain things about you but not others, and there’s going to be people out there who love and see you for who you are wholeheartedly. All you need to do is find the right person for you, and that’s my job - to help you find the perfect wife for you!” Kinosaki says, now fully changed and out of the bathroom, as he approaches the bed where Hikaru is.
“What if I want a husband instead?” Hikaru blurts out unintentionally, eyes fixed on Kinosaki. What if I want you? Goes unsaid, but Hikaru has the feeling Kinosaki can pick up on that hidden question anyways.
Once again, the air is quiet. Both Kinosaki and Hikaru look at each other, an unspoken question in their eyes. Kinosaki moves even closer to Hikaru, and the tension between them is palpable, thick enough to cut with a knife.
“Can I kiss you?” Kinosaki asks, seeming almost hypnotized by Hikaru, and the feeling is all too mutual on Hikaru’s side as well if he is. “You didn’t even have to ask,” Hikaru manages to get out as a reply, and next thing you know, Hikaru’s pulled Kinosaki onto him, and their lips are on each other.
It’s awkward, of course, at first - this is Hikaru’s first kiss, given that he’d never had time for dating or meeting anyone growing up in the Gero clan. He keeps on putting his teeth and lips places where he shouldn’t, which makes for awkward moments when Kinosaki and him bump into each other. He’s nothing if not a quick learner, though, so he gets the hand of it pretty quickly.
Just as soon, he becomes addicted to Kinosaki’s scent, and wants to go further. It isn’t the most stereotypically masculine thing - he smells like a mix of vanilla and cinnamon, probably some body wash Hikaru will never truly understand - but it’s Kinosaki’s, and Hikaru can’t get enough of it. He’s never thought he might be attracted to men before now, but screw it, he guesses he’s bisexual now? Whatever.
They eventually break lips, saliva trailing between the both of them, and Hikaru pants - he’s practiced holding his breath for long periods of time as part of his assassin training growing up, but damn, that kiss really put his ability to the test.
“Is that a banana in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?” Kinosaki teases, and Hikaru flushes, surprised to see that he is, in fact, hard.
“I-I’ve never- I don’t-” Hikaru says, reaching his hand out to stop Kinosaki as the other man goes for his pants, wanting to take care of it. “I know,” Kinosaki says, stopping his reach nonetheless, gently looking in Hikaru’s eyes, and Hikaru is stunned by their sincerity. As an assassin, he probably shouldn’t be trusting anyone this close to his unprotected body, but…
“Okay,” He says, nodding and giving Kinosaki his consent. “I’ll be gentle,” Kinosaki promises as he gives Hikaru another kiss, this time a chasté one on the side of Hikaru’s lips, and Hikaru finds he wholeheartedly believes him.
“Hey, Kinosaki? You asleep?” He says, as they lie together in bed - the spare futon he laid out for Kinosaki earlier now forgotten in the corner - after everything.
“Mhm?” Kinosaki says, slowly blinking his eyes open to look at Hikaru, and he finds his heart clenches at the fact. Man, he’s so in love, he’s surprised he hadn’t realized earlier. “Yeah, I was, but what is it?”
“Now that we’re… well, you know, we’ve had sex and all… can I call you Mei?” He asks, and is met with the look Mei gives him when he thinks he’s been stupid.
“You just had your dick in my ass, and you’re wondering if you can call me by my first name?” Kinosaki huffs, rolling his eyes at him. “Seriously??”
“I just figured I should confir- Ow!” He shouts, as Kinosaki punches him. “Yes, you idiot!” He shouts in reply, turning away in bed.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry Mei, okay?” He replies, but his back is still turned to him. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow!” He promises, spooning the shorter man in his arms. “You better,” Mei replies, finally turning back to him and holding him as well.
Though he sounds upset, Hikaru can see the slightest glimpse of a smile on his face as they both drift off to sleep together.