Work Text:
(Cover art by the incredible Moon Floret.)
Hi there. I’m Cadence, or Cady for short, and today I’m going to be telling a mesmerizing story set in the Human Domestication Guide universe, where you play the role of a terran undergoing a transfer to a mechanical body, followed by troubleshooting as to why you can’t move.
Themes and possible trigger warnings include: dronification, body swapping, immobility, helplessness, disassembly, fractionation, tender engagement with disability and desirability, nondescript arousal and pleasure, and unusual erogenous zones.
This is a hypnotic audio file, so if you follow along to the audio version, you may feel yourself drawn into elements of the story, as if you’re reading a book you’re deeply immersed in. This is perfectly normal, safe, and encouraged.
Femme Affini, gender neutral listener.
<Book fluttering SFX>
Booting Up Affinity AI drone procedure. 10%. 50%. 90%. 100%
Welcome to Affinity AI, your friend and helper. You have opted to transfer your consciousness from your current, terran body, to a shiny new drone chassis. This procedure is quick, reliable, and safe. Please enjoy your experience during transfer.
Integration System check. 10%. 50%. 90%. 99%. 99%. 99%. Error. Please relax; a coworker will be with you shortly to assist -
<subtly different, more affini voice SFX> 100%.
Integration System valid. Welcome to Affin<glitch>AI. Your new chassis has been prepared. Attempting test transfer.
Attempting integration.
Connecting nerve endings to external parts. Test object: left hand.
Transferring nerve endings to drone chassis. Transferring. 0%. 1%. 13%. 39%. 53%. 68%. 99%.
Initiating touch test protocol. Please proceed to tap your left thumb to your left pinkie finger. Note the 1:1 connection between your perception of your nerves and the motility of your new body. You move, it moves. This is expected behavior. Please report all unexpected behavior to Affin<glitch>AI.
Connecting nerve endings to external parts. Test object: Right hand.
Transferring nerve endings to drone chassis. Transferring. 0%. 20%. 64%. 93%. 100%.
Initiating touch test protocol. Please proceed to tap your right thumb to your right pinkie finger. You are adapting well to the new form. Good drone.
Test touch protocol confirmed. Beginning rapid scan procedure after safety briefing.
A: Hi there cutie, we’re about to get your scan underway! I’ll be watching closely to make sure everything goes just right for you, so you just relax, okay? In a moment, you’re going to feel a strong electromagnet start to slide its way up your spine. Those tingles are just our system getting all the little bits of you scanned so that we can accurately transfer you to your new body. You’ll feel them start near your tailbone, then slooooowly climb up and up and up your spine, spreading little tingles across your skin, until it reaches all the way up to your skull, where you’ll feel just a slight moment of discontinuity as we transfer you. Just a moment of your mind falling deep into the void on its way to its new home. It’ll be fun! Best of luck!
Attempting rapid spinal scan. <whirring sound getting louder> 0%. 10%. 20%. 30%. 40%. 50%. 60%. 70%. 80%. 90%. 99%. 99%. Error. Affin<glitch>AI process override. Scan terminating. 100%. Initiating discontinuity.
<sinking echo sound>
<beat, biorhythm>
A: so easy to sink. So easy to let go. You’ll wake up in your new drone body, petal. Muscles and nerves replaced with servos and sensors. Your consciousness, held aloft in mechanical perfection. Just let yourself fall into it. Into a chassis built just for you.
<microwave ding>
Transfer complete. Welcome to your new affin<glitch>AI drone body! Transfer error: motor cortex not fully engaged.
A: Oh roots . So you might have trouble actively moving of your own volition. That’s unfortunate, but I can debug this. And in the meanwhile, you can just be still for me, can’t you? So simple. So easy. So still . Administrator has everything under control, dear. Just sit tight while I check these connections… Here, for being so patient , my lovely little drone, why don’t I just send you a fun little data packet… This should make all those still little limbs feel good . <roboticized injection sound?> There we go. Just nice, pleasant sensations running through that still body. And you can just relax and feel my vines running along it. Good drone. Feels nice, doesn’t it? I know it does. I can read your programming, petal. I can scan your thoughts from the digital haustorium installed deep in your code. I can read your mind. And I can tell how much you like this. That’s why you volunteered in the first place. Good drone. Let’s get this problem fixed so I can enjoy you fully , eh?
Affin<glitch>AI troubleshooting suggests: turning it off and on again.
A: Ah. That can be arranged. Just one moment, let me find the main power switch… All right sweetie, I’m gonna cycle your power. Everything will go dark for just a moment in 3… 2… 1…
<power down sfx>
<beat, biorhythm>
<power up sfx (use mac computer on sound)>
A: …and 1, 2, 3, coming back to your beautiful drone body, and… Roots and rot. You’re still stuck. Can’t move a muscle. Helpless as my vines dote on you, and my xenodrug packet injectors slide into you. Gosh, what fun. What a good drone. Aww, look at how nice that is. Makes you want to squirm. You’ve chosen me as the center of your universe, you’ve chosen to become mine , so of course it’s going to feel incredible when I praise you. You’re a good drone.
Affin<glitch>AI troubleshooting suggests: turning it off and on again.
A: Again? Well, all right, if you insist. 3… 2… 1…
<power down sfx>
<beat, biorhythm>
<power up sfx (use mac computer on sound)>
A: …and 1… 2… 3… coming back to this body, feeling so cozy and warm in it, so comfortable. You’re a good drone. Still not going anywhere, though, I’m afraid. Roots. But look, while you were unconscious, I managed to rewire some of those useless connections that were running between your brain and your musculature, and used them to reinforce the pleasure center instead. You can feel it, can’t you? How sensitive your skin feels? How good every vine-scritch and headpat feels? I’m touching you like you’re a toy. Because you are a toy. And we’re having so much fun playing together. Smile. Agree.
Affin<glitch>AI troubleshooting suggests: turning it off and on again.
A: All right, we’ll try it one more time. 3… 2… 1…
<power down sfx>
<beat, biorhythm>
A: Oh gosh, these discontinuities are leaving you so drifty and sleepy and droopy and whoops, one more thing to try. Rebooting in 3.. 2… 1…
<power down sfx>
<beat, biorhythm>
<power up sfx (use mac computer on sound)>
A: Still no movement, huh? Plenty horny , though. Plenty needy , though. Feeling so happy and hazy in your lil drone chassis. All that pleasure flowing freely through your realigned consciousness. Look at you! Just a happy lil’ drone in a happy lil’ chassis. A still little toy for me to play with. I don’t think you’re complaining, though. Still, I would like to find that error. I think I’m going to have to take you apart to hunt down this bug! Let’s start with the servos on your left leg. I’ll have to remove it for a full diagnostic. Now, you may feel a slight lurch while I undo these screws… Just a moment, and…
<metal grinding sound>
<clunk>
A: Ah. There we go. Got that pesky thing off. No worries, it’s still mostly functional, I’ve just put it down over there. You can still feel as my vine runs across the synthmesh surface. And I know it feels good for a good drone like you. A cute little robotic pet. I bet just hearing your Administrator call you a good drone feels good. In fact, I don’t bet, I know. I can tell. I can see right through you, and you love this helpless feeling. Especially as my vine starts to slither into the little ports in the side of your leg. This might feel a bit strange, it’s not really something that maps cleanly to your previous nervous system, but you may experience it as though there’s an erogenous zone on the inside of your bone. One which, thanks to your chassis, this vine can just… slide right into . Slipping inside, sparking and sliding against sensors which exist for one purpose only: to remind you that it feels good when I perform maintenance on you.
A: You like having my vines inside you. You like this maintenance. You love how it feels to let me reprogram and redesign and rebuild you. It doesn’t seem to be a problem in the left leg. Let’s take the right off for maintenance next.
<metal grinding sound>
<clunk>
A: I’ll just put this down on my workbench, and slide these vines deep into somewhere they really have no business being. Somewhere that has no business feeling this good . Right into those interface ports, to check for errors. Gosh, what a horny, still little doll, taken apart and penetrated. Don’t you just love this helpless feeling?
Affin<glitch>I troubleshooting suggests: giving in and enjoying yourself.
A: That’s the first useful piece of advice this software has offered all day! Your right leg is also clear - everything working as it should, and the feeling of my vines sliding through it spreading heat through your core. <fans whirring> Aww, look at your cooling fans, activating on instinct to make sure you don’t overheat, whirring like crazy. It’s cute how everyone can immediately tell when you’re flustered. Good drone. It’s not this leg either. Let’s remove your left arm next. But while I’m working on that…
<torque wrench clicking>
A: I can just slide a vine into the sockets where your legs were removed. And inside those sockets, there is a lubrication dispensation system. Sensitive little glands, which can be manually stimulated. And they feel so good when they’re stimulated. Like a prostate, or a g-spot. So you can imagine how amazing it would feel if I just… ran a vine inside your socket, and across your lubrication gland? Gently nudged against it? Oh, there go your fans again. Oh gosh. Isn’t this drone body so much fun? Isn’t it fun to be a still little doll for me? Let me just squeeze down on that gland with my vine… That’s gonna feel amazing . Testing lubrication systems in 3… 2… 1…
<Squishing sound>
A: Oh, gosh, yep, lubrication systems seem to be working. Good drone. Your Administrator is running pleasure.exe with elevated privileges on your brain. It’s filling up your RAM, making thinking about anything else impossible. Let’s get that left arm removed.
<metal grinding sound>
<clunk>
A: Here we go. Setting it down on my workbench. You can feel my vines snaking across them. Slipping inside. Teasing against all the right ports, sending flickers of electricity to nerves to ensure the responses are correct. Diagnostics feel good .
A: But there’s another thing that feels good. It feels good to be cared for.
A: Your joints may creak, your data centers may fill and your servos may crunch, but I will still love you. I’ll repair this body for you as often as you need me to. You’ll never need to worry about another broken part that can’t easily be repaired or replaced. No more struggling with joints that screech in pain at the slightest pressure. No more painfully curved spine. No more cracked, broken eyes. No more muddled mess of inflamed nerves and autoimmune disorders. Your new parts are pristine, and replaceable, and I will ensure you work just the way you want to. You cannot be broken in a way I cannot solve. You cannot be damaged in a way that would make you unwanted. You’re a good drone , and your Administrator wants to make you happy.
A: That’s also why every part of this diagnostic procedure is designed to feel good , petal. I want you to enjoy the feeling of me taking your body apart. It makes it easier for you to understand how good it feels when I take your mind apart as well. Whoops. Your left arm is in perfect working order, petal. See, if I flex my vines like this, you should feel your fingers on your left hand balling into a fist and releasing, there we go.. . Hmm, it appears the neural link is still fully engaged. Ah well. Maybe our problem is in the right arm.
<metal grinding sound>
<clunk>
A: There we go. Just setting that down on the workbench over here, and sliding my vines into the ports. Teasing. Touching. Rubbing. Sending electric tingles up your spine. Feels so delightful. Especially with so much of your compute redirected towards pleasure. It feels so good it’s hard to think. Good drone. Good disassembled drone. Why, there’s naught but a torso and a head left! And I can’t find the problem here, either. Everything in your extremities is fine. Hmm. Let’s check your spine next.
Affin<glitch>I troubleshooting suggests: three access points can be found along the length of the spine.
A: Perfect. Let’s just slide a vine into the one right at the base of your skull. I can run diagnostics all along the length of it. You can feel it, can’t you? The vine sliding deeper, inch by inch, into the space where your spine should be? You can feel every inch of your diagnostics sparking with pleasure as my vines slowly, leisurely slide down your mechanical vertebrae. Bone. By. Bone. I’m violating your insides, petal. Surely we can find the bug here , can’t we? Oh… I’m sliding all the way down to your tailbone , darling. Until every inch of your spine is full of me. Feels so good , sparking up and down the length of your back. It’s okay to moan for me, petal. You deserve to feel good. You deserve to enjoy the care I’m giving you. You are worth maintaining. You are worth troubleshooting. All night long , if need be. You’re a good drone .
Affin<glitch>I troubleshooting suggests: remove and examine head.
A: Well, we have tried almost everything else. Don’t worry, there’s a release hatch back here for cases just like this. See, if I insert a vine in the port in the back of your neck, just like this, you might feel a little zap of electricity coursing through you, and notice that your head is no longer directly connected to your body. I’m lifting it up to gaze into my beautiful, massive, red eyes. You’re such a good drone. Let me just put this down . <drop sfx> Right. Here.
A: And now that your head is disconnected, I can just slip a vine into the socket in your neck, and… Now I’m in your central processing cores, petal. And I can simply reach in and turn the pleasure up. And up. And up. We’ll find the glitch, but first, now that I have you taken apart like this, I can’t resist playing with your parts. Pleasure coursing through you. Running pleasure.exe as Administrator feels so good. You’re such a good drone for me. You’re so obedient. So still. So helpless. And you love every second of it. <fans>
A: Oh, petal, even if we never find a fix for this bug, I promise I’ll still love you and take care of you. It’s so much fun to tear you down and rebuild you, and you’re so delightful like this. You deserve all of this. So much pleasure. So much bliss. So many warm, happy feelings making your cooling fans go wild. Horny, happy, obedient drone. Good drone.
Affin<glitch>I troubleshooting suggests: turning it off.
A: Okay. I suppose we’ll try one more time. Such a good drone for me, so happy, so warm, so needy. Just feel all that gooey warmth flow through you as I get ready to turn you off. I’ll try to get most of this fixed before you come back online. Are you ready, dear? 3… 2… 1…
<shutdown SFX>
<beat>
<closing book>
…and as we come to the end of our story, I would like to take a moment of your focus to remind you that, as immersive as the story may be, you are not that little drone. You are a full person, and your mind will be able to think fully for itself once we’re done here. I’m glad you came to my storytime, and I hope you enjoyed yourself.
I’m going to count slowly up from 1 to 5, and when I reach five, you’ll find yourself fully awake, aware in the knowledge that this story, however fun, is not your reality.
- Thoughts slowly returning to your silly head.
- Wiggling your fingers, wiggling your toes, feeling motion return to you
- Eyes fluttering open, becoming aware of your surroundings
- Feeling grounded and safe, taking a nice, deep breath… And
- All the way up, coming back to yourself, feeling warm, calm, and safe.
Any feelings you experience from here on out are yours, not anyone else’s. I hope you are relaxed and safe. When you’re done listening to this, you should get up and get some water. If I made it right, this experience may have been fairly intense, so I recommend doing something emotionally comforting - I like wrapping myself in a blanket and watching cartoons, or going for a walk, if the weather allows.
Thank you for listening. Much love to the Human Domestication Guide community, to 4WheelSword for help sensitivity reading, and to Schnozzberry for letting me use their immaculate “Biorhythm” audio for soundscaping.