Work Text:
A knock came from outside Jinah’s window.
“Pst,” a voice called, which was not as strange as it should have been for living on the penthouse floor. Dragons changed a person.
She drew back the curtain, surprised to see two faces sporting feral grins on her balcony.
“What are you guys doing here,” she asked as he opened up her glass sliding doors to let them in. They tumbled through, support lost.
“Kwang came over and said he wants to ‘eat the rich’ today. He needs help,” Songyi told her from her sprawled position on the ground.
The kid in question nodded up at her, the little twerp.
She crouched down and poked him in the head, “I’m in.”
The issue of the moment was, neither of them knew just how to eat the rich. Apparently, it was a big deal in the punk rock community and he felt like he needed to reach a milestone.
“How the fuck are we supposed to do this?” he said mournfully.
Jinah pondered the question, Jinwoo knew a lot of wealthy people who they could target. But many of them were strong and not above beating a kid either, so she scratched their names off.
Songyi piped up, “I think the most important part of eating the rich is dressing to eat the rich.”
She was right, nobody here but Kwang was ready for their part in this revolution and tube tops and skinny jeans didn’t scream ‘i will consume your flesh’.
“Don’t worry, I have an idea,” Jinah warned them as she snuck out of her room to the kitchen. Their heads popped out behind her though as she tiptoed to the kitchen counter. Her brother’s wallet sat there completely unguarded. Rifling through, she slipped out a credit card and booked it back to her room, slamming the door behind her.
They all let out sighs of relief.
She held the card up to the ceiling in triumph. “New punk rock wardrobe, here we come.”
`
Their crew spent the next few hours shopping, Kwang leading them to his favorite thrift stores since corporate chains weren’t part of the counterculture. The afternoon was spent back at his apartment, distressing their new jeans and adding safety pins to everything. Jinah and Songyi looked metal as hell.
But Kwang wasn’t satisfied, tapping his chin to see where they’d gone wrong.
A moment later, he emerged from his room with a bag of makeup. “It’s my mom’s. She says I’m still too young for it, but not today!”
The trio huddled into the bathroom, a video set up on the tank of the toilet with a very pretty woman showing them how to do their makeup for a metal show, but their own loud music drowned out any instructions. The key seemed to be lots of eyeliner, but Kwang kept freaking out every time the pencil came near him so the girls just ended up drawing a little skull and crossbones at the corner of his eye.
“Don’t worry, you already have the hair.” Songyi comforted him as Jinah teased hers into something electric.
Then a thought occurred to Jinah. “Guys, sorry to break it to you, but we still don’t have a plan. Do we have to cannibalize somebody? I’m on a diet.”
“That’s your issue-” her friend complained.
But Kwang interrupted her. “Nah, I think it's more like just fucking their shit up.”
“Like vandalism?” Songyi asked curiously, having moved on to painting her nails black.
Jinah piped up, “I can do that! Let’s fuck some rich bastards shit up.”
As they finished getting ready, a perfect target occurred to Jinah. They rushed into the kitchen in formation. The speaker hoisted up on Kwang’s shoulder, blared out the opening refrains of the Institutionalzied.
They startled when Yoonha and the Chief appeared, perched at the kitchen counter. They observed them with wide eyes full of fondness. If they were trying not to laugh, they weren’t doing a good job of it.
“So, whatcha up to?” Yoonha lilted at them sweetly.
Ugh, that woman was too nice for her own good! But in a sneaky way that Jinah admired. She was kind of her hero.
Songyi waved at her. “Morning Ms. Jeong, Chief Woo! Kwang just needs our help eating the rich so we're pretty busy today.”
The other two both nodded along with her and backed her up. “Yup. Totally normal teen stuff.”
The Chief snorted some coffee out of his nose as he stood up and pulled out his phone. “Come on you three. Say cheese.”
“Uncle Woo!” Kwang shouted out petulantly, hiding behind the older girls who were much taller than him. Songyi and her shared a look, each taking one of his arms and smooshing his face between their own as they all smiled at the camera. Well, Kwang screamed.
“Thanks, girls,” the Chief laughed heartily. “This one’s for the fridge.”
Kwang scurried outside like his black skinny jeans were on fire. He shouted out that he’d meet them in the yard, his tolerance for adults reached.
“Sorry, he was supposed to ask but do you have any eggs?” She tried to ask sweetly like Yoonha would so her evil intentions weren’t uncovered
It didn’t work. “Yes, but if you’re egging someone's house, stay safe, ok.” She bustled over to the fridge and grabbed out a dozen for them along with three Pepsis. “It’s important to stay hydrated.”
At least they didn’t care.
Scared to look gift horses in the mouth, they sprinted after Kwang. It was easy to follow the sound of punk and death metal.
`
Jinah drove them over to their target, parking on the side street. Unfortunately, their target lived in an enclosed property surrounded by a tall gate, but not tall enough.
“Songyi, we’ll boost you up, then you use that super hunter’s strength to pull us up too,” she whispered to her fellow punk.
“I’m strong, too,” Kwang pouted. “I can do it.”
Jinah laughed, but it was from a place of fondness. “You’re also still like twelve kid.”
They followed through on the plan and thankfully, she didn’t see anyone pass by on their mission which meant they were safe. Atop the wall, Kwang broke out his binoculars.
“It appears the target is engrossed in the TV.”
“The Real Housewives of Seoul. And Seojun is totally about to cheat on Hayun with his secretary. He has no class.” Kwang narrated.
Jinah snorted. “That bastard.”
“But more importantly, if we begin in the East and head due West, by the time the target has noticed it will be too late.” he narrated for them. “And this is a really dramatic episode so we should have plenty of cover.”
Satisfied, Jinah parceled out a few rolls of toilet paper to each of them, saving the eggs for last. The plan worked perfectly, no one noticing as they tossed rolls of toilet paper over the grandiose house so it was protected by foliage. Jinah even broke out the silly string, attempting to write their message onto the wall. It didn’t look great.
Songyi then lifted up her phone so the three of them could take a selfie in front of their masterpiece. But like their makeup, it was missing one thing. They each popped a few eggs into makeshift pouches of their shirts and sent each other feral grins. It was time for the finale.
“Charge!” Kwang shouted as they followed him laughing, launching their eggy projectiles at the front of the house.
Crack! The noise was loud and incriminating so they’d have to be fast-
“Jinah, Kwang! What are you doing?” a voice called out, tone pitched in clear surprise, making her halt halfway through launching her last egg.
“Shit!” Kwang shouted. “The pig had spotted us. Comrades, retreat!”
“I’m not a pig! I thought we were friends,” he cried out, not yet having seen the horror of his house.
When he turned she took her shot. “Get egged, rich boy!”
It hit its mark, yolk splattering all over his head. He turned almost as if in slow motion as she began her sprint towards the wall. Songyi and Kwang were already atop it, cheering for her safe escape. Blood coursed in her ears as she launched herself upward, clasping hands with her accomplices and reaching the top.
She turned around to wink at Jinho who was near tears. “Sayanora, sucker.”
Kwang called out a cheer, whooping in excitement. “Eat the rich!”
The crestfallen look on Jinho’s face was delicious. She could see why punks got into this sort of thing and she felt hungry for more as she moved to jump off the other side to freedom.
But then it morphed into apprehension as Jinho’s voice followed them, wiping tears from his eyes. “But you’re rich too.”
The words were so shocking that she missed her step, face planting into the grassy earth on the other side. She was free, but at what cost? The trio all looked at each other, sullen eyes unsure of how to feel about their victory against the powers that be. She was the power?
Forlornly, they trudged back to her fancy new motorcycle and got on. Kwang turned down the stereo they’d started back up again.
“Are we the problem?” he asked.
She pulled her brother’s credit card from her pocket and looked down at her new clothes. “I think we used our powers for evil.”
They all shared a look, ready to turn in their anti-fascist capes of justice. Sogyi said with great woe, “They say if you kill a killer, the number of killers remains the same.”
Kwang huffed. “This sucks. Let’s just go home.”
Jinah was about to give in, but then she remembered something her brother had told her not too long ago.
“That’s why we have to kill more than one killer!” she cheered. “I know what we have to do.”
The trio hurried back to Jianh’s apartment where thankfully everyone was gone. Like a teen movie, they trashed the place, printing out just the cover of the Communist Manifesto and taping it to the fridge. It was a work of art.
They did end up grounded for a long time, but the sensation was worth it.