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Charlie is maybe the princess of hell. The future queen. The future of hell and not to forget, the future of the rehabilitation of sinners. Sinners doesn‘t think about their mistakes they did in the past life and just live with it without to try for a second chance.
This is sad for the future helping hand. Not to forget, everyone deserves a second chance. Seeing that you made a mistake is a step closer to be a better person. That‘s why she apologized to Angel when she tried to safe him from his cruel boss, Valentino. Forgiving a person for the past they couldn’t change is also a step closer to become a better person. Finding a another lovely, helping women like Vaggie would never come. But also not to forget, to become a step closer to be a better person is also to let people back to their life even when they never answered messages.
That‘s what she thought how to become a better person. But what are the consequences of this acting? She always wanted to be a good girl to get compliments from her parents how she is such a well behaved girl. But soon enough she noticed how Lucifer and Lilith became more distant to each other until both of them left her.
Left is maybe the wrong term to describe it. She continued living with Lucifer in his castle but it felt more like she is alone. She never saw him except when she enters his room, filled with rubber ducks. There wasn‘t a “good morning“ or “how was your day?“ anymore from the king, not even when she is the one and tries to make him happy again.
In that point of life it didn’t care anymore. Being well behaved brings you nothing when you live “alone“. Maybe a drastic change? Black colored strands, black dress, this a new Charlie to be make people look at her how bad she is doing.
“Dad i failed my exams.“ She enters his room who is still filled with thousands of rubber ducks. It‘s impossible for her to see him behind all those ducks and the other way around he couldn‘t see her new look.
No answer came, so she repeated “dad i fucking failed my exams.“ But still there is no answer. Her school friends told her, that the best way to get the attention back is to become a worser person by changing her usual style to black and be bad at school. There are of course many other ways for example smoking, drinking and drugs but her poor sweet heart can‘t handle it.
She waited a few seconds, still without any reaction from her father. That’s enough for her. Her heart began to raise from pain, tears came up but men should ruin the lipstick, not the mascara. It’s her favorite quote to use when a male breaks her heart, no matter if the men is also her father.
She tried it a few more times, this time comming drunk home and crying her lungs out so he notices how bad she is doing, but again nothing. No reaction, just her alone desperately trying to be back with her dad.
She knew that he sunk into a deep depression yet he still can go to her room and check on her right? Check on her how her first boyfriend broke up with her. Check on her if she still does her school work good and the most important, check on her if she still feels good enough.
Soon she noticed that her bad grades will effecting her, the same with the new look. Maybe Lucifer will notice that she is not doing well when she is gone? Gone in a far place. Maybe with Lilith but how is she supposed to go to her when she doesn’t know where she is?
Charlie noticed when the arguments started between her parents how Lilith tried to hide the fact that she is a lot more like her father then herself. At first it was a funny thing but now it’s a burden. She wishes that she could have a lot more in common with her mother instead of being the same gender.
Lilith wasn‘t better than Lucifer after she disappeared. Yet Charlie gave her best to hold the non existent contact between her by sending text messages, calls, videos and every other possible things to keep contact with the person she loves.
The day when mother Lilith blocked her is something she will never forget. What did she do wrong? Didn’t she like messages? Is she more the person who likes calls? Isn’t Charlie good enough for her to keep in contact with?
The queen of hell is a perfectionist. If something or someone isn’t perfect for her to keep, she throw them away like they never existed. Short explained, Charlie isn‘t good for anyone.
Maybe helping others will make her feel good enough to get praised?
The first time she helped a strange women she never saw before felt so good. It’s her favorite memory. “Thank you young lady! I never thought that the princess of hell would be so kind to help me. Your parents must be proud of you to manage to raise such a well behaved girl even when they grow up on hell“. Just by thinking of it how many little praises she can get just by helping people makes her so happy.
That’s when she decided to make the “happy hotel“. Helping sinners to bring them in heaven must be a great idea to have a nice bond with all. Almost like becoming a new family she never had. Lucifer didn’t notice that she one day packed all her stuff and disappeared, like that she managed to make her own hotel.
In that time around she found her now girlfriend Vaggie. It was funny how Charlie felt in love with her. Vaggie always praised her how good she is in almost everything. Her creativity, the effort to have the best of everything and always figuring out how to fix a problem within seconds. Something Vaggie can‘t really keep up with. That’s how they ended maybe after 3 months she adopted Vaggie to the hotel into a relationship.
Time passed by and she finally managed to have a sinner in her hotel who is no one else than the pornstar Angel Dust. He came from alone after he saw that it’s rent free even when he didn’t believe in redemption.
They had a good time together. Well that’s what Charlie tries to tell herself. Nothing was good. Since he is there, she didn’t get any praise from him. Not even a small one. A nodding would be also fine but there was nothing.
She felt horrible and couldn’t sleep the whole night. Well she cried the whole night and refused to fall asleep so she could think more how to become better for him. It was a endless circle. She began to buy him things he didn’t ask for and if Vaggie wouldn’t know that he is gay, she would think that Charlie got a crush on him.
The angel knew about her problems and issues but she didn’t think that it would go that far. She told then one time when the princess was outside, again buying the spider some stuff to get a compliment about the reason behind that undetailed as possible. “Oh that’s why Miss. Rainbow happy is always buying me stuff! I tell her to stop, this slowly gets me on my nerves since i have no room for more of her gifts“ he crossed his arms understanding the issues of the princess.
When Charlie heard that Angel didn‘t want gifts anymore her heart fall into pieces. How can anyone dislike gifts? Doesn’t he like her? Is she too annoying? “Sorry Charlie, i hope i didn’t hurt your feelings“ Angel told her honest and gave her the newest present she bought him today. It was a small keychain with many white and pink stars, not expensive but valuable and the only way to be liked.
“Haha don’t worry Angel, it’s okay! I should‘ve notice sooner that i took it too far“ she answered nervous and shrugged her arm but in her innerself she is screaming. How can she be so stupid and not notice it? He will see her now as nothing. For what is she worth of when there is no one who notice what a good girl she is? Is she even worth to keep living when there is no one to praise her?.
Vaggie stopped doing it since everything she does is now “normal“, Lucifer still didn’t notice that she is gone a long time ago and maybe sometimes he would ask her how she is doing. She is nothing without praise. This is everything what she wants in her life, praise. If she change her attitude and starts to become rude, they will leave her or worse, thinks that it’s a phase she will get over one day. This can’t happen.
The only thing now what she can do, is to ignore her reason to live and starts to be a normal happy person like everyone does. Becoming happy by doing happy and funny things with friends right? Cooking together and watching horror movies will help to be like everyone else and not desperated for praise.
She tried it but it didn‘t work. In the opposite she just wanted it more. Everyday she waited when Vaggie finally falls asleep so it’s her turn to cry in her sleep. It was the only time of the day she feels free enough to do it.
Self harm was something she never tried. She heard how many people describe it as “wonderful“ or the feeling of turning “free“ when the pain they have gets too much to handle. She never wanted to do it because she thought that one day when she grows up, she will be ashamed of what she did but this will change now. She can’t handle it anymore.
It was some time between 2 and 3am and she locked herself in her bathroom while holding a small pocket knife and next to her a package of rainbow plasters to feel better. She just starred at the knife empty, not sure if she should really dare to make the first step of feeling better “maybe one cut will help“ she mumbled and put slowly the knife to the direction of her skin.
Her hands are shaking, trying to refuse the following pain she will do to herself but this is the only solution. One cut. Blood is running down from her shacky wrist and the short feeling of being free was there but disappeared fast. She wanted to do more but couldn‘t. How the blood is flowing down is hypnotizing her that she can’t continue.
Maybe after a few minutes she washed the cut to not get a infection and put 2 of her plasters. She smiled small and empty to the caused wound she did to herself “maybe tomorrow i’ll do it again“ she thought and went back to sleep.
….
Tomorrow came and then next week, slowly a month passed by and she did it almost every night. She feels a lot more lighter then before and regrets that she never thought of doing it before. Her wrist is hurting from all the cutting but it’s fine. She must do it to keep her insanity of praising to herself.
She had plans today she wanted to do with the other 2 and prepared everything when suddenly someone knocked the door. Without to think she just ran happy to the door, this will definitely be a new sinner who tries or wants to redeem themselves. She opened the door and saw no one else than the radio demon Alastor in front the door.
“Hel-“ but he didn’t even get the opportunity to finish his greet when Charlie just closed the door. “What the hell? Why is the radio demon here?“ she thought and opened back the door hoping that she is dreaming.
“lo-“ again she closed the door still shocked and confused. She definitely does not dream. She opened again for the 3rd time the door and Alastor looked at her with friendly eyes and smile.
He introduced himself and that’s also something she forget to count. To become a better person, you must be able to notice your actions and change if they hurt the feelings from others.
One and a half year passed since Alastor, Husk and Niffty are in the hotel. They didn’t really seem like to get redeemed but it was nice to have them around while knowing that they will stay maybe forever.
In that time much happened. Since the day Alastor decided to help running the hotel, she felt more relieved and relaxed. She felt like a weird bonding, almost similarity to each other. He was always smiling and let no one guess what he is truly feeling like she does.
Also since the day he arrived she got extremely jealous of Niffty. Don’t get her wrong, she has nothing against her but the relationship she has between her and Alastor makes her cry from jealousy. They act like father and daughter what is not fair to her.
Niffty isn’t even his real daughter and this is just not fair! Where was her father all the time? Right busy making rubber ducks instead of caring for her.
But even when she managed it good to handle her jealousy towards their father/daughter relationship, Alastor also started to treat her like his daughter. It started small, he was cooking for everyone and when Charlie entered the kitchen he began to ask her how her day was, any ideas for the upcoming rehabilitation activities and so on.
At first she found it weird but she get used to it extremely fast. That’s when the first time in her life she cried to her sleep from happiness. She felt so happy that somebody finally began to care for her that she wanted it to never stop. Finally she got the dad she ever wanted to have.
He treated her nice, told her how proud he was at her and not to forget that he always noticed when she didn’t feel okay. She stopped with the self harm since she has now everything what she wants in her life, what luckily Alastor didn’t notice that she does it.
Everything was fine. They had much fun, almost a real family bounding when suddenly, almost 6 months before the exterminations Charlie was forced to call her father to help her get to heaven. She refused to ask him for help since she was for 100% that he wouldn’t pick up her calls anyways. If she is honest she thought that between the time he managed to get her the first meeting with heaven that he died.
So seeing him in front her door healthy was unexpected. He greeted her with her big strong hug like nothing happened between the 7 years where they left each other. Alastor hated him. This isn’t a big secret since he is very open with the hate towards the king.
Charlie wished that she could also hate him like Alastor does but it’s her father! She can’t break the contact with him again, she needs him. She needs his attention. He must watch to what a great person she raised herself, see how much she changed in all those years and in the last, see how much time they can spent together doing everything they missed in her childhood.
Now a year and a half later nothing changed except the fact that sinners are able to redeem themselves. There were still daily arguments about who the better father figure is for her and no matter how much she loves Lucifer, it feels like he forces himself to be with her.
Every time they spent time together it felt empty in her heart instead of warmth. She knew how much effort he is putting on her to forgive him his past mistakes but it only feels wrong. If she spends time with Alastor, she feels how fast the time went, everything feels a lot more easier, if she has problems she can rely on him, if she needs something, he is there for her.
Well Lucifer does the same but something is different.
It‘s early in the morning, she got awake of the smell of sweets. Yet she still didn’t feel like standing up, she didn’t notice Vaggie next to her and the bed didn’t feel like a another person is laying there so she can stay a little bit longer in bed.
But a morning in the Hazbin hotel isn‘t a normal morning. She heard after a few seconds yelling between both of her dads, again arguing about something. She still didn’t make the effort to stood up, Vaggie, Angel, Niffty and Husk should be already downstairs to stop the arguments if it goes too far.
The argument kept going louder and it sounded like they are about to kill each other. Glass breaks and there is still no signs of anyone to stop them. The noises got somehow loud and familiar, making them to bring back an old blur memory when Lilith and Lucifer argued. She was too small to understand it but it was extremely loud that she wasn’t able to forget it for months.
Now here she is again, in the same situation but this time she must do something against it before one of them leaves again!
She didn’t change her pajamas like her hair and walked straight slowly downstairs hoping that they stop anytime soon. Yet somehow she feels empty, why does arguments happen between everyone she likes? At first her mother and Lucifer, then Vaggie and her and in the most important persons, Alastor and Lucifer.
With every step she made closer to the kitchen the more intensive it got that she wished she never heard. The stopped right at the corner from the door, able to see them how they argue. The whole kitchen table was in a mess with pancake syrup all around and a broken glass where the water mixed up with the syrup.
“ALASTOR WHERE ARE YOUR BRAIN CELLS? DID YOU LOOSE THEM LIKE YOUR FUCKING INTELLIGENCE? HOW CAN YOU BREAK A FUCKING GLASS? FOR WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD?“ She heard Lucifer screaming to the overlord furious that it made her also scared. She never heard him shout so loud, filled with anger, something horrible must‘ve happen.
The deer got offended, his ears are down from anger and his smile is stiff. It’s only glass, how can a person be so furious just because of glass? Well there are persons but from the king of hell it’s not like he expected this. They didn’t talk the whole morning and got left alone since the others went buying groceries, so they were responsible for the breakfast for Charlie and the lunch. Alastor prepared everything for lunch and hold a glass of water, but with his luck he accidentally walked into the short king who was about to give the pancakes the last shot of syrup, what caused that both of them let their things go.
“IT‘S JUST GLASS. WE HAVE MORE THEN ENOUGH OF IT“ he shouted back, Charlie watched for a few seconds, she must stop it but how? This is a much more worser situation then the other arguments they had. There is not much she can do except entering the kitchen and hope that their attention will be on her or do nothing but counting with a catastrophe.
She thought fast and walked in. Now the kitchen looked even more like a catastrophe but she ignored it this isn’t important. “Good morning“ she greeted them with hope that they finally stop but she got ignored. There will be no ‘good morning‘ for her. She looked around where her plate with pancakes are to sit there. It was right at the end of the table, the most messiest part and best view to see them both.
Alastor noticed that the princess is now next to them, looking a little bit exhausted. He turned his back towards the king annoyed, conjured a rag and started to clean the table. “Good morning Charlie! I hope we didn’t wake you up“ he greeted her like nothing happened with his big usual smile. Lucifer rolled his eyes, there is so much anger an him that he is about to explode. How can a person be so annoying?
The air between the overlord and king is in thin ice, she nod to him like a little child not knowing how she should answer to that. She wanted to ask what happened again this time to fix it but just when she opened her mouth, Lucifer interrupted her.
“YOU ARE SO USELESS HOW COULD YOUR PARENTS EVEN TOLERATE YOU?“
Alastor stopped cleaning the table for a moment shocked. No one ever dared to say that towards him, but is there even respect? He got frozen for a moment but turned slowly back to the fallen angel who is still standing on what he said furious.
“Excuse me?“ Was everything he could say from shock. Charlie wanted to snap in and make this stop immediately but her hands are only covering her mouth from shock. “How are you still alive? You‘re such a disappointment how did you manage not to kill yourself? Everyone would be happy to see you dead.“ He continued saying furious but in that moment where Alastor wanted to say something in return she could finally say something back.
“DAD HOW DARE YOU TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT? APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW! YOU HURT HIS FEELINGS-“ but she couldn’t say it until the end and he interrupted her “Charlotte be quiet. You have no right to talk about feelings when you are the whole reason why your mother left us.“
Her eyes widened and without she noticed, tears are running down her cheeks uncontrollably. She didn’t even finished eating her pancakes and she ran back to her room crying loud. She knew it, everything is her fault! She is the reason why Lilith left her, the reason Lucifer didn’t want to see her all those years. Everything is only her fault! Now it makes sense why everything feels so weird when she spends time with him.
He doesn’t love her, he is just here to maybe ‘fix‘ it. He doesn’t care what will happen to her, he is just here to see if redemption can also fail. He doesn’t have any reasons to be there for her. Finally she reached her room, slammed the door and locked it. No one should be able to enter it. She throwed herself into the bed and hid her face into the pillow before she cried even louder. Everyone should listen how she cries, they should know how much she needs them now.
“Calls yourself a great father figure but make your own daughter cry. Congratulations Lucifer.“ Alastor watched how Charlie ran to her room before he looked at him with hate and hurt to let him notice how much he messed it up.
….
A week passed by and Charlie refused to come down. She hid in her room crying and overthinking everything in her life. She should’ve end it before she got so far with the hotel. Lucifer tried to apologize but unsuccessful, almost everyone knows between the argument they got between him, Charlie and Alastor. Luckily not the details.
Since that day Lucifer tried his best to apologize to her with everything he is able to do. He bought her gifts, managed to make a another meeting to heaven to discuss more things about the redemption and to see her friend Sir Pentious, but nothing worked.
The same with the broken relationship he has now with the shitty radio demon. He didn’t make the effort to apologize to him and also didn’t want to apologize so he has his peace, but Vaggie forced him to do that for the sake of Charlie.
Yet the words the king said to his little princess, doesn’t go that easy away from her head. In that whole week it was everything what she could think of, how did she not notice it sooner?. The small clock she has is ticking, to remind her that it’s midnight and should be sleeping.
But she couldn’t. She stayed the whole night awake doing nothing except overthinking, regretting everything and remembering the old times when she had the perfect family. The times when she had birthday and celebrated it with them was the best time in her life. Sadly they stopped doing it. Or the times where they would go to the beach, everything than beautiful memories.
Suddenly she noticed how her stomach made some noises, telling her to finally eat something. Vaggie brought her food all the time but she just conjured it back to the kitchen with a letter that she isn’t hungry. Now she wishes that she kept the food instead of bringing it back.
She didn’t want to see anyone, just being with herself. She looked at the clock before she decided to go to the kitchen. She will do it fast, go to the kitchen, eat fast and then go back hiding in her room. This should be a great plan and that’s what she also did. She walked to the kitchen quiet as possible and opened the fridge seeing a plate with a note on it ‘this is for Charlie‘ with Vaggies handwriting.
How does she deserve such a kind women? She took the plate carefully out and took a seat before she started to eat peacefully. Usually she would hate it to eat alone but today it was something like she needed. She ate slowly everything while starring into the nothing, when suddenly she heard footsteps coming down.
“Shit! What should i do?“ Is everything she could think of, she thought everyone is asleep! Why is someone awake? But there is one person she forgot to count. Alastor. He couldn’t sleep, or more honest Lucifers words somehow got stuck since a week in his head that he wasn’t able to do it. Usually he never sleeps but sometimes it’s the best what he can do against boredom in the middle of the night.
He saw that the kitchen light is on and didn’t think much of it. Maybe it‘s Angel who searches for a midnight snack! He began to yawn clearly from the lack of sleep and when he entered the kitchen and saw Charlie there, he frightened for a short moment before he joined her. “I did not expect to see you here“ he said and took a seat left from her.
Her hair is in all cardinal directions while she has dark eye bags from the lack of sleep. She didn’t say anything and kept eating her cold food. Alastor also wears a pajama what is quiet unusual for him, since it’s the first time she sees him with different clothes. He kept starring at her smiling, waiting for her to start the conversation she didn’t want to begin.
“You know, everyone is worried about you“ he started and rested his head on his hand. She didn’t look up, she starred at the table, she doesn’t need to know that. Since she refused to go out, almost everyone walked to her and tried to show her the support she has. Lucifer also apologized but she can’t accept it. Something feels wrong even when she thought of accepting it. In the end, she isn’t able to change. She can‘t do anything to fix her family. Maybe they should‘ve have thought twice before they agreed to have a child.
“I know…“ she answered and finished the food. What does he want from her? Does he want to make fun of her? No this isn’t possible, if he would do it, he wouldn‘t stay with her and watch her how she eats.
“Lucifer also apologized to you, well that’s what i heard from him yesterday. He told us that he tries to show you how important you are by buying gifts. I‘m not sure if you received them.“ He continued and she nod starting to feel pity. Everyone is worried about her and wants to forgive her father, yet she can‘t really make the step.
Her heart slipped to her stomach, all the gift he gave her are all around her room. Well the letters he gave her with the gifts are around her room, she doesn’t need gifts. She wants a proper apology, or is that really what she wants? A apology? But if she accept it, everything will be the same. She wants a change, she wants praise! Someone must tell her how good she is! She needs someone who tells her how proud they are towards her! But what if nothing from this happens and they keep having their weird father/daughter relationship?.
“I know that you doesn’t want to forgive him or hesitate, but what you should know is that he is really trying his best get forgiven. Not everyone here does it.“ He kept talking. Charlie looked slowly up to him confused but still with a sad look in her face, does he also want to forgive her father?. “I‘m not trying to convince you to forgive or change your mind, but i think you should appreciate the effort he tries to put in.“ He continued.
“Why do you care so much about me and Lucifer? Especially after he wished you death..“ she said almost mumbling and Alastors body stiffed together before he sighed and smiled at her gentle “because Lucifer really does care about you. When he first showed up in the hotel, i thought he would be a some kind of person who wants something from you and doesn’t care for your needs. But i guessed wrong. He is trying his best but i also think that there is more than that“.
“You ignored my second question Al…“ she told him and took a small hair streak as a reflex to stay calm, or maybe not to get a breakdown again. He stopped talking for a moment and it sounded like he thought how to answer it the best, if she is honest, she also doesn’t also except to get a answer.
“I‘m used to it to get death wishes from everyone i knew. But this isn’t important now, how you feel is a lot more serious than my problems“ he answered but she felt how something in him wants to open up, this would be the perfect moment to open himself up even when he wants to help her.
“You can tell me it! I will help you so good as possible“ “no, i’m here to help you not to talk about myself“ “please Alastor let me help you“ “no dear, i’m here to help you to decide what you can do“
Both tried to help each other but it didn’t go far, Charlie noticed a similarity they both share “do you also like to be praised?“ She ended the small discussion and he leaned more against the chair giving up. “Everyone likes it.“ He answered her and she noticed that her heart is slowly coming back to their old place.
Maybe it’s time for her to open up and tell him what she wants. She folded her hands resting on her lap and looked down to them before she slowly started to speak “i always wanted to get praised, if i do something good this is the only way to let me know. Mom and dad never praised me except when we are outside at some royal events, well then they will forget me and stay focused on their argument. That’s why also made the hotel, i wanted to be praised, i want someone to be proud of me! But-…“ she suddenly began to cry “no one gave me it except you.. you made me feel like i’m special! Dad never made me feel that way and Vaggie is different, you make it feel special when you tell me how proud you are of me! It makes me wish that- that you are my real father“.
Alastors eyes widened and his heart began to stop for a moment. He and be her real dad? He looked at her with big shocked eyes clearly not expecting that, she began to cry even stronger what caused him to be more under pressure “Charlie please- i’m sure Lucifer is also a great father if he finally knows how to fix his mistakes- trust me, i’m not better than you“ he said and stood up as a reflex to hug her.
He isn‘t the fan of hugs and physical contact but this felt necessary, almost a duty to do. “Charlie i’m not better then you“ he said and hugged her even tighter. She replied the hug and started to cry louder in his chest, he understands the pain she has all over the years but it made him somewhere deep inside of him sentimental.
He know the feeling of being alone and not able to get any attention from a parent. He was also victim in such a parenting with the different that the person she tried to safe him died when he was in a young age while his father told him active how useless he is and dared to physically destroy him.
He hated it that he got neglected and wished that no one ever feels like way. That’s why he loves to take care of Niffty, spent time with Husk even that he knows how much the cat despises him, but everything comes with a price. Not everyone is ready to spent time with the radio demon, so it makes it even more special to him if someone agrees unconscious that he becomes the new father figure in their life.
That’s why they clicked so fast. She loves praises and he loves to give attention to others for the ones who needs it.
They stayed like this for a moment, enjoying the warmth of each other before the left slowly the hug. Charlie wiped her tears away and Alastor watched her a little bit speechless but it didn’t stay long before he broke the silence “if you want him to praise you, i‘m sure we can do it like the other dreams you have. Don’t forget that Lucifer still has the heart of an angel and if there is something between you two, feel free to come to me“ he tried to cheer her up what worked somehow.
She nod and he put his hand on her shoulder “but will you still stay as my second father?“ She asked hoping.
“Yes of course i will! Until you want me to stop“ he answered her with the most gentlest smile. He took her plate to the sink to wash it later and she stood up also relieved to have everything from her chest out “now go fast to bed, to have enough energy to tell everything to your father“.