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Tadashi is not one to complain. Over the many years under the Shindo's employment, he has done countless things he didn't want to do, all without a single word in disobedience.
This is by far the worst.
He can hear faint sounds, even separated by a solid wall; there are high-pitched cries, deep grunts, and a distant slapping noise that he has to strain to hear.
Two hotel rooms, always connected, discretely booked, for the sole purpose of letting Ainosuke relieve his sexual frustrations in a way he never would be able to in the Shindo mansion. At this point, it's a familiar dance. They've done this several times before, each with a new boy because Ainosuke gets bored of them easily. Tadashi sets up the meeting, books the rooms, and ensures Ainosuke goes to his room. Then, he waits in the lobby for his arranged partner. They go up to the second room together, and Tadashi briefs them on what will occur, and what will be expected of them, before they enter Ainosuke's room through the door that connects them. All this because a scandal with Tadashi meeting with sex workers in hotel rooms is an easier fix than Ainosuke himself getting caught doing it. Once they're together, Tadashi's job is to listen in, ensure that no danger is being posed to his master, wait for his signal to escort the night's partner away, pay them the money, and make them sign an NDA, before arranging for a private cabby to take them anywhere they would like.
He hates it. Hates looking at the whores they buy, their beautiful, fucked-out faces, the flush on Ainosuke's cheeks, the sweat, the smell that clings to both of them that reeks of sex. He hates it.
Hates that it'll never be him.
He does his best not to pay too much attention, trying only to scan for any sounds of distress, but it's hard when they're both so loud, practically yelling in their pleasure. Tadashi closes his eyes as he stands with his back to the door, the boy inside screaming, "Yes! There!" He hears Ainosuke's responding chuckle, washing over him in a wave of sea water, and he feels like he's drowning.
Tadashi feels his dick twitch in his pants as he hears Ainosuke proclaim, "I'm going to fill you up." He imagines for a brief moment that Ainosuke's said it to him, that he's the one filled to the brim with his master, and his knees feel embarrassingly weak.
Ainosuke finally claps three times, and Tadashi dutifully steps through the door connecting their rooms together. The boy, still naked in bed, jolts in surprise at his sudden appearance. Tadashi goes into the bathroom to collect two towels, then hands one to Ainosuke, and the other to the boy. He refuses to make eye-contact with his master, afraid of what he might find there.
Once the boy is dressed, Tadashi leads him through the door and then closes it behind them, before pulling out the documents.
"As we discussed," Tadashi says, "here is the NDA. You are not to speak of this meeting to anyone. We will know if you have, and you will be sued in accordance with this agreement. Please sign on the line here, and you may take your payment," he pulls an envelope from his suit pocket, "and I will call you a cab shortly."
The boy signs without reading, and grabs the envelope, clearly familiar with the process. Tadashi sends a message to their usual service, getting a quick response. In just a few minutes of tense silence, the car is waiting in front of the lobby.
"However much he pays you," the boy says before he leaves the room, "it's not enough."
Tadashi doesn't deign that with a verbal response. Even if he wasn't paid any money, to be able to spend every day at Ainosuke's side would be payment enough. It's probably more than he deserves.
When he reenters Ainosuke's room, he is still sitting in bed, scrolling on his phone. The only thing protecting his modesty is the now-sullied towel Tadashi had handed him earlier.
"Shall I prepare a bath for you, Ainosuke-sama?" Tadashi asks.
Ainosuke glances up from his phone for a split second, before his eyes slide from his as if he was a bit of torn wallpaper - displeasing to look at, but otherwise unnotable.
"No," he says distractedly, "you're dismissed for tonight."
"Yes, sir," Tadashi bows before turning stiffly and disappearing back into his own room. He closes the door carefully, trying not to disturb his master, before gingerly lying down in the bed.
Though he tries to coax himself into sleep, Ainosuke's groans echo in his head, and despite himself, his mind starts conjuring up intoxicating images. Ainosuke, shoving him into a wall, looming above him. Ainosuke, touching him with those large hands, long fingers wrapped around his throat.
"Desperate little puppy," he's say, with that mean smirk he gets when people are playing right into his hand. He'd stick his fingers into Tadashi's mouth to quiet him, murmur in that deep voice, "What would people think if they heard you moaning like a common slut, hm?"
Tadashi knows he shouldn't be imagining this, but he can feel his dick hardening, and he can't help but feel a bit pathetic over it.
"Pathetic mutt," the Ainosuke in his head echoes. "So eager to be touched. But you won't touch yourself, would you? Not until I say so."
Tadashi lets out a whimper, and then freezes. He listens for any sounds from the other room, any sign that Ainosuke can hear, that he knows. There's nothing but the quiet hum of the AC unit.
He takes this break to get up and undress himself, hanging up his suit jacket, and sliding off his trousers, folding them neatly to place into a drawer. He takes off his tie as well, rolling it up reverently before placing it in the drawer next to his pants. He begins to unbutton his shirt as well, but as he fiddles impatiently with the buttons, the need to give himself at least a little relief wins. Quickly, he goes back into the closet and recovers a small packet of lube from his jacket's hidden pocket, and then goes back to the bed before he can change his mind.
"Such a dirty dog," Ainosuke would sneer, leering down at him. "Getting off to the sound of your master having sex."
"I'm sorry," Tadashi whispers, his hand palming at his erection. "Master, please, can I-?"
"Make yourself feel good for me," the imaginary Ainosuke purrs in his ear, and Tadashi rushes to obey. He yanks his boxer briefs down to his knees before grabbing his dick, almost forgetting to keep himself quiet as his mouth falls open at the sensation. Slowly, he moves his hand up and down, trying not to cum too quickly. It isn't often, after all, that he has the leisure to do this.
"F-feels good," Tadashi whimpers. "So good, A-ah, Ainosuke-sama." He reaches his other hand behind himself, leaning forward to give himself better access to that sensitive puckered skin.
"Get yourself ready for me," he imagines Ainosuke moan, and Tadashi can almost see him fisting his cock, a large, monstrous thing that Tadashi had caught a quick glimpse of earlier.
He'd have to prep for a while before taking that in himself. But, well, there was really no use trying to think realistically about it anyway.
He frantically rips open the lube packet, drenching his fingers in it, before crudely shoving in his pointer finger.
Tadashi allows his face to fall into the pillows below as he muffles an embarrassing moan. It's really been too long since he's done this. Slowly, he moves the finger in and out, before adding a second.
"Whore," Ainosuke says cruelly, and Tadashi pants helplessly into the cotton filling his mouth as he strains to get a better angle, to reach deeper into himself.
"Your whore," he mumbles mindlessly. "Your... yours, yours, yours..."
Tadashi's fingers make a lewd squelching sound as he shoves his fingers in and out, searching for his prostate. He can't quite reach it, though, that magical place inside that's supposed to feel so good. Ainosuke's fingers probably could. His cock definitely would.
"Master," Tadashi sobs. "Master-... want you, master, want- want your fingers, your cock, please, please, please..."
"What a useless little dog, can't do anything on your own, can you?"
Tadashi chokes on his tears, feebly humping back onto his fingers as he cries, "No, no, need master, I need master, please."
"How honest of you, puppy," Ainosuke's voice murmurs. And then the bed dips.
Tadashi startles, head shooting up from the pillows, his fingers ripping out of his ass so quickly it forces a moan out of him, just as he comes face to face with none other than the subject of his fantasies, Ainosuke.
Ainosuke, to his credit, also looks shocked, though it quickly morphs into cruel amusement as he watches Tadashi's face twist in horror and shame.
Tadashi's eyes flick from Ainosuke to the door that separates their rooms, now wide open, as he realizes suddenly that he never locked the door.
"What?" Ainosuke asks with a voice like molasses. "Aren't you happy I'm here? You were calling for me so sweetly. Who knew all it took for you to be honest with yourself was a couple fingers up the ass?" He gives Tadashi a lascivious smile, and Tadashi thinks he might die on the spot.
"How long were you listening?" Tadashi asks, trying his hardest to keep his voice steady.
"I've got a better question for you," Ainosuke says, still grinning. "How long have you been getting off to me?"
Years. It's been years. Guiltily, he had jerked off to him once, when they were both in high school. He'd been horrified by himself and his thoughts, and had resolved to never touch himself again. Then the skateboard incident had happened, and their relationship changed. And then he'd gone off to America, and come back smoother somehow, mask set more firmly in place than ever before, cool, suave, and untouchable. And when Ainosuke looked at him with those eyes, as if he'd measured his worth and found him lacking... when he thought of how he might make himself useful to his master...
It's a bad habit that Tadashi has been too weak to kick. It's pathetic, awful, disgraceful, and disgusting. Just a way for his mind to avoid that helpless broken feeling of he'll never love me, but. But Ainosuke's not looking at him like he's disgusting. He's smirking, cocky, with an eyebrow slightly raised... He looks interested, in a way he hasn't looked since before Tadashi ruined everything. It gives him a sick kind of hope.
"Well? I asked you a question, mutt."
"I'm sorry, Ainosuke-sama," Tadashi says instead. He goes to pull up his underwear, still stuck on his knees, but his master places a firm hand over his to stop its movement.
"I didn't ask for an apology," Ainosuke bites out. Tadashi's jaw tenses, the hinge of it already aching. Ainosuke stares him down, and Tadashi does his best to not meet that gaze, instead staring at his lap, where his cock sits, still humiliatingly hard. He can hear a faint thumping sound, can imagine Ainosuke's foot tapping against the carpeted floor as he's wont to do when he's getting impatient.
Finally, Ainosuke gets up from the bed with a creak, bouncing Tadashi slightly. The man sighs, and mutters under his breath, "Useless dog can't learn tricks after all," before going back to his room and slamming the door shut behind him.
Tadashi can't help but flinch at the loud sound, and the sinking feeling in his gut that he has once again failed his master slowly consumes him. When he gathers the courage to try to open the door connecting their rooms, he finds it locked.
Ainosuke pretends like nothing's happened the next morning, so Tadashi follows suit.
He never tells Tadashi to arrange a hook-up again. He doesn't know the reason why, but somehow, he feels grateful.