Work Text:
You can hold my hand
When you need to let go
I can be your mountain
When you're feeling valley-low
I can be your streetlight
Showing you the way home
You can hold my hand
When you need to let go
Crowded Table - The Highwomen
“Yuuta’s birthday?”
Toge nods, listlessly poking his scrambled eggs with his fork. He’s in the kitchen, seated at the table in his pajamas, his hair still a sleepy mess. Across from him, Nobara’s dressed stylishly for her new part-time job at a clothing boutique, making Toge feel like a slob in comparison. She takes a slow sip of her coffee, giving him a bored look over the steam rising from her cup.
“Why are you worrying about that? You know he’s gonna love anything you get him.” She says this with a sort of casual disdain, as if Yuuta being completely whipped for Toge has personally offended her. “You could probably just give him a handmade card and he’d laminate it and have it framed within an hour.”
“There would be a tear or two,” Yuuji adds, buttering a piece of toast at the kitchen counter. He throws a grin over his shoulder at Toge’s flat look. “Come on, you know it’s true.”
Toge sighs, setting his fork down. He signs at Nobara. He does so much for me. I just want to give him something special to show how much I appreciate him, but nothing seems like enough.
“What do you mean?” Yuuji asks, chewing on his toast. He’s turned around, leaning back against the counter to watch their conversation. “What did you give him last year?”
“They went on that date to the ryokan with the private onsen,” Nobara answers for him, waggling her eyebrows. Yuuji’s face brightens.
“Oh yeah! I remember him talking about that.” The pink-haired beta gives a low, appreciative whistle. “It’s going to be hard to top that one.”
Toge slumps, cheeks coloring. Yuuta had really loved his gift last year, mostly because they’d been able to have some intimate time alone away from the pack. The atmosphere had been lovely and romantic, of course, and the private bath had been amazing, but Yuuta had made it clear that the biggest gift was just having Toge to himself.
Still, Toge didn’t want to just re-do what he’d done last year.
“Why not just ask him what he wants,” Nobara suggests.
I tried, Toge signs glumly. He just told me he doesn’t need anything, just me.
Nobara makes a fake gagging sound but Yuuji is having some sort of epiphany.
“Oh, oh, you could wrap yourself up in a gift box! Or jump out of a cake!” he says excitedly, eyes wide. “I could totally make the cake!”
“Please do none of those things,” Nobara says, side-eyeing Yuuji, who pouts at her.
“You’re no fun,” he mumbles.
Masterfully ignoring him, Nobara refocuses on Toge, lifting a hand to tap her neck where her collar rests. “Have you thought about this?” she asks. “If he really wants only you, then…” She trails off, letting the words unsaid hang in the air.
Toge nods. He’s definitely given the collar around his neck serious thought. He’s worn it since puberty, the last relic laid on him by the Inumaki family. He’s secretly wanted to remove it for months, the thin band of silver somehow feeling more and more restrictive as he’s gotten older and more settled within the Gojo pack. Yuuta has never said anything about it, laying kisses on and over it as if it was just another part of Toge to love and cherish, never bothered by its presence. Toge has always appreciated that but, inside, he has a restless wish to be rid of it, to fully offer up his scarred and damaged throat to Yuuta’s hungry mouth.
It would be a huge step, though, and not just for Toge. To remove his collar would mean offering Yuuta his life, his bond, his soul. Yuuta would be tied to him forever, and while Toge wants nothing more, there’s still a small, insecure part of him that wonders if he’s really good enough, if he alone is enough.
Gojo said he wouldn’t remove it till I was twenty, Toge signs slowly. While Yuuta is getting ready to turn twenty-one, Toge is still nineteen until October, nearly eight months away.
“You should talk to him,” Nobara says, getting up to put her empty coffee cup in the sink. “I think he’d change his mind if he knew you really wanted it.”
Really? Gojo had seemed so firm in his rules - the same rules he’d laid on Nobara and Maki, incidentally - and Toge was sure he had good reasons for them. It was one of the few times Toge had seen him be completely and utterly serious.
“Worth a try at least,” Yuuji offers brightly, with a thumbs up and an encouraging wink.
As he stabs his now cold eggs, Toge wishes he could be as optimistic.
Though it’s still technically winter, spring has started to creep in around the edges. Crocus have started to peek up through the hard ground in his garden, the green tips of brave daffodils not far behind. Toge really loves this time of year, when the long winter slowly melts away to reveal new life.
He spends some time checking on various dormant plants, seeing if they came through the winter intact and mentally planning out where he might plant new things this year. He really wants to start a small vegetable garden this year - Yuuji has promised to help him - so they can try and grow some of their own produce. Toge’s excited about it, spending long hours in their nest at night sketching out plans on graphing paper until Yuuta teases him about the mess, bits of white paper caught in his dark hair.
Yuuta is doing so well lately. The alpha has been dedicated to his law studies, often spending late hours studying even after a full day of classes and a shift at the convenience store. Even so, he always has time for Toge, whether it’s cuddling together in their nest, or grabbing lunch together when Toge’s at the flower shop. Toge does his best to help, too, knowing the demands on Yuuta’s time. He’ll quietly make lists of seedlings he wants to start while Yuuta looks through old case law, or he’ll meet Yuuta on campus to bring him a snack when the alpha has to go directly from class to work. They both do their best to fit themselves into the nooks and crannies of each other's lives, both of them re-scheduling things so that their weekends are mostly clear from obligations and they can have time alone or with the pack, just focusing on themselves and their family.
It’s a life that Toge never really thought he would have. He feels happy, fulfilled, slowly uncovering what it is he wants to do now that he has the ability to choose. The future no longer seems so hazy and out of reach to him now, but a real thing full of possibility.
His fingers slide over the cold band around his neck thoughtfully.
As he tends his garden, he realizes that the act of removing his collar and the act of becoming Yuuta’s mate are really two separate things. One is breaking the last remnant of his old life and deciding for himself if he’s ready to forge a mating bond. Losing his collar will make him vulnerable but only in the way he chooses. He has no worries over his safety, only the trembling of his heart as he thinks of standing in front of Yuuta, bare-throated and asking for his alpha’s bite.
The other is the mating itself. They probably haven’t talked about it as much as they should but that is partly due to Gojo’s insistence it not be a possibility until Toge is twenty. They hadn’t felt there was any rush and there still isn’t, Toge reminds himself. Even if he removes his collar, he and Yuuta don’t have to mate right away. They can take their time, they can…
Toge huffs, rubbing a hand over his face.
The truth is, though, that he doesn’t want to wait. In his heart, Yuuta is his alpha, and has been all along. Yuuta’s bite on his neck would just make it official.
The only question is, does Yuuta want that now too? Or will he think it’s too fast? They’re too young?
Toge’s honestly not sure, so what kind of birthday will it be if Toge offers his neck and Yuuta has to gently tell him he wants to wait?
Toge groans out loud.
“Geez, what’s eating you, shrimp?”
He blinks up at Maki who’s standing just behind him, holding some kendo equipment she’s obviously toting to the supply shed. She’s dressed in athletic wear as if she’s come from an early workout, her newly cut hair falling around her ears. Toge’s still getting used to her new look but he thinks it suits her - she looks older now, more mature, as if she’s settled into herself. She’d cut it after Mai had gone to Kyoto and he wonders if its her way of finally parting with the last of her connections to her old family, too.
Whatever expression is on his face makes Maki’s eyes narrow. She jerks her head at him.
“Come on, get up. You can help me put this stuff away.”
He straightens up from where he’d been kneeling over some bare rose bushes, brushing off his jeans as he follows her out to the small shed, sliding open the door for her as she starts putting away her equipment.
“Let me guess,” she says, sliding two practice swords into their holders on the far wall. “Something to do with Yuuta.” Toge gives her a pouty look and she retaliates with an unladylike snort. “Come on, out with it.”
He shifts on his feet, suddenly unsure. Yuuta’s birthday, he signs, once Maki’s looking at him. I thought I might… His fingers stutter and he has to try again. I want to… He touches his collar, looking at Maki beseechingly. Do you think he would want…?
Maki’s face clears. “You want to remove your collar and ask him to bite you.” She says this easily, firmly, leaving no room for doubt. Toge nods slowly. She continues, “But you’re not sure if Yuuta wants that.”
This time, Toge’s nod is a bit more miserable. Is it really a gift for him if it’s something I want?
“Of course it is, you idiot!!” He startles at the vehemence of her reply, wide-eyed as she crosses her arms over her chest to glare at him. “A mating bite is something you do together. Of course you should want it and so should he, and if you think he doesn’t then you’re crazy.” She says this so matter-of-factly that Toge feels himself tear up a bit. “It’ll be the best thing that’s ever happened to him and, if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll cry and blubber about how amazing you are and I’ll have to hear all about how disgustingly happy he is in training the next day.” She gives him a frank, discerning look. “How can that be anything but a great gift?”
A low, hopeful sound escapes him. He runs and throws his arms around her waist before she can get her defenses up, hugging her tightly, so grateful for her that he doesn’t have any words. She sighs and puts an arm around him, patting his shoulder.
“Alright, alright,” she mutters, not unkindly. “Just don’t mention you talked to me about this or he’ll never shut up about it.”
Feeling more confident about his plan, the next step is speaking with Gojo which, surprisingly, is harder than it should be, if only because the Prime Alpha never seems to sit still.
Toge spends an hour searching for him - checking the new med bay, the training field, the animal shelter - before Megumi takes pity on him and tells him to try Gojo’s office. Toge had not even thought to look there as Gojo rarely uses it but is relieved to find him sitting on the edge of his desk, thumbing through a magazine. He looks up when Toge enters, blue eyes calm but piercing. The alpha smiles at him.
“Toge! My most favorite child, what can I do for you?” he drawls, setting the magazine aside.
I thought Megumi was your favorite?, he signs, coming closer.
“I just let him think that,” he says, with a jaunty wave. He tilts his head at Toge. “Something on your mind?”
Gojo speaks lightly, the scent of ozone brief and teasing in the air. Toge relaxes into it, trying to shrug off his nerves. The alpha is the closest thing he has to a father now, and asking him for something - especially something he may not agree with - is a little overwhelming.
I wanted to talk to you about this. He touches his collar, watching Gojo’s face anxiously.
To his credit, the alpha seems unfazed. If anything, he relaxes slightly, expression easing. “I see. Is it that time already?” he muses fondly, almost to himself. “They grow up so fast.” He heaves a wistful sigh before focusing on Toge again. “Alright, what about your collar?”
I want to have it removed. He signs the words slow and steady, with no hesitation.
Gojo nods, looking thoughtful. “Can you tell me why? Our original agreement was to not remove it until you turned twenty.”
Toge swallows but stands firm. I know, and I’ll keep to that if you think it’s best. He pauses, choosing his words. I’d like to remove it because it no longer serves a purpose. My grandfather had me collared as a signal of my virtue and worth to potential alphas, and as a way to make sure those same alphas could not ruin what he was trying to sell. He gives Gojo a shy smile. Since coming here, I’ve realized I’m worth more than my gender or the price of my bloodline. I don’t have to worry about my physical safety - the pack would never let anything happen to me, and Yuuta…
He colors a bit, embarrassed but determined. I’m Yuuta’s and he’s mine. Even if we wait until my birthday, the same will still be true.
Toge’s fingers still and then fall to his sides, searching Gojo’s face for a reaction. The alpha looks a little bemused but also… proud? He claps his hands together suddenly, making Toge jump.
“Well,” he says with a smile, “then I think we should have it off, don’t you?”
On the day of Yuuta’s birthday, in the soft, dark, pre-dawn hours, Toge lays in the crook of Yuuta’s arm, watching him sleep. His alpha has an early class today and Toge knows he’ll be getting up soon to get ready for the day, but Toge is enjoying this small moment before the chaos.
He traces the back of one finger down the curve of Yuuta’s jaw, feeling his soft breath and the warmth radiating from his body. Even in his sleep, Yuuta feels firm, strong, a safe place for Toge to land from the very beginning, when Toge had been nothing but a stray on Gojo’s doorstep. Yuuta’s heart is so big, so fierce, and Toge worries sometimes that he fumbles it, but he knows without a doubt that he’ll spend the rest of his life showing Yuuta how much he loves him.
And tonight, if all goes well, he’ll give Yuuta that promise.
The promise of forever.
Toge draws his fingers over Yuuta’s shoulder and down his bare chest, pressing close so he can trace delicate words into the skin there. He writes them over and over, the movements light and sure, until Yuuta shifts, coming slowly awake.
Toge smiles into navy blue eyes and traces one more time.
Happy Birthday.
“Thank you, baby,” Yuuta says sleepily, nuzzling the side of Toge’s head as he pulls the omega closer. Toge goes easily, curling up tight against him.
They rest together quietly for a moment before Yuuta stretches, perking up a bit more, one hand rubbing up and down Toge’s arm.
“You’re up early,” he murmurs, tilting his head back to catch Toge’s gaze.
Toge boops his nose and then says, softly, out loud. “It’s your day.” Yuuta blinks and then melts as he always does when Toge speaks. One of the many things Toge loves about him. Want to meet me for lunch today?, he continues in sign, giving his alpha a hopeful look. Yuuta has both school and work today so he won’t be home till the evening, and while Toge has plans for their night, he stills wants to spoil Yuuta during daylight hours too.
“I’d love to,” Yuuta answers, leaning forward to steal a sweet kiss. Toge hums into it, getting lost in the dreamy slide of their lips and the heat of his alpha’s mouth.
Eventually, they must part and start their day - Yuuta to class and Toge to the flower shop. They meet up for lunch at a cafe near Yuuta’s university, sitting side by side by the window so they can chat quietly and people watch.
“Yuuji said something to me this morning,” Yuuta says, with false casualness as he looks at Toge from the corner of his eye. Toge immediately smooths out his expression, going for a mask of mild interest as he wonders if Yuuji has blown his birthday surprise. The pink-haired beta wasn’t the best at keeping these sorts of secrets.
What did he say?
“He said I should hurry home tonight or I’m going to miss the best dessert of my life.”
Toge chokes on his tea, sputtering, and Yuuta laughs.
“I’m guessing he wasn’t talking about some sort of pastry he’s making,” his alpha continues, watching him fondly. His voice drops, deepening, as he leans into Toge’s space. “Are you planning something, Toge?”
Guess you’ll have to rush home tonight and find out.
Yuuta rumbles at him and Toge leans in, planting a chaste, teasing kiss on his cheek.
See you there.
That afternoon, Toge goes with Gojo to meet the jeweler he’s chosen to remove Toge’s collar. They meet at her sleek, modern office in a private room where she goes over their documentation - Toge’s adoption papers and the consent form with both their signatures.
While the jeweler fetches her tools, Gojo surprisingly signs to him, perhaps not wanting her to overhear.
Last chance - this still what you want?
Gojo’s watching him intently, ready to say the word if Toge’s changed his mind. Instead of answering, Toge reaches out to put his hand in Gojo’s, holding on to it both in gratitude and for comfort. Gojo squeezes his fingers once and doesn’t let go when the jeweler brings her key. She makes an adjustment at the back of his collar that he can’t see and then - abruptly - he’s free.
The collar clicks open on an invisible hinge at the front, coming apart at the back as the two halves part like opening a book.
He lifts his free hand to his neck, shaking fingers smoothing over the skin there, unhindered for the first time since he was a small child. The pads of his fingers skate over the white scars along the tender curve of his throat and he realizes, for the first time, how visible they will be now without the collar to hide them.
He hesitates, mind tumbling, but Gojo squeezes his hand again.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” he says, breezily. “They’re a part of you. There’s no need to hide them.”
Carefully, Toge drops his hand away from his neck, turning his head this way and that to feel the difference. He imagines it must be similar to having braces removed, your teeth suddenly feeling foreign in your mouth.
Gojo watches him bemusedly. “How does it feel?”
Toge smiles shyly. “Strange,” he admits, voice rasping quietly.
“But good.”
When Yuuta gets home that night, the compound is weirdly quiet.
He may or may not have rushed home from the train station. He would never admit it to Yuuji, but he’d been thinking all day about Toge waiting for him, ready to surprise him with something for his birthday. He’d told the omega he didn’t really want anything for his birthday - and that was true - but the idea of getting to spend time with Toge, in any fashion, is exciting. Work and school have been keeping him so busy, he would love a night just to indulge his need for the other boy, with no deadlines or schedules hanging over them.
So he’s a little surprised when he steps into the den compound, toeing off his shoes, to be met with silence.
He drops his bag and hangs up his coat and then goes to the kitchen, peeking inside to find it spotless. He’d been half thinking the pack would be hiding there, ready to surprise him. The rest of the other general living spaces are deserted as well.
Flummoxed, he pads down the hall to their bedroom, sliding open the door to be greeted by‒
“Oh,” he breathes, his heart jumping in his chest.
The smell of camellias is heavy in the air, almost a physical presence that drifts around him, embracing him. The room is dimly lit, just the glow of the small lamp on Yuuta’s desk illuminating their soft nest and its single occupant.
Toge’s waiting for him, bare legs curled to the side as he’s only wearing one of Yuuta’s shirts, the hem falling to mid-thigh, leaving miles of creamy skin exposed. He’s resting against the edge of their nest, watching him with dewy violet eyes, a small smile on his face.
“Yuuta,” he says, the name almost a purr in his throat. Welcome home.
“I hurried,” he gulps, a little stunned as he slides the door closed behind him. Toge’s thready laugh buoys him, filling him with happiness. The omega reaches out a hand for him and he takes it immediately.
“I’m glad,” Toge says, and his face is so bright, his porcelain skin almost glowing. He makes Yuuta’s knees weak, he‒
Yuuta’s breath stutters as his gaze slips down the curve of Toge’s cheek to his neck. Sensing his gaze, Toge turns his head, deliberately baring the long column of his throat, the submissive act instantly igniting his inner alpha. A pleased rumble escapes him as he drinks in the expanse of newly revealed skin, hot eyes roving possessively over the white scars there.
“Toge,” he says hoarsely, ”Your collar… You…”
He knows what he thinks this is, what he wants this to be, but he really needs Toge to say it. There can’t be any misunderstanding here. Not here.
Toge’s fingers thread through his, still offering his throat, head tilting a little so he can look up at Yuuta through pale, heavy lashes. Pink lips part with words sure to change Yuuta’s life forever.
“Bite me, alpha?”
His reaction is visceral.
Stifling a groan, he lunges at Toge, wrapping his arms around him as he bears him down into their nest, his larger body caging the smaller omega in. Elbows on either side of Toge’s head, he lifts up just enough to see his face, searching the much loved features for any sign of hesitancy.
“You want this?” he rasps, one hand sliding down to cup Toge’s slender throat. His thumb brushes the scars there and Toge shivers against him. What he's really asking though is, you really want me? Forever? Because there’s nothing else in the world Yuuta wants more than Toge. He always has, ever since Toge had come to stay. His voice drops into a low murmur. “I can keep you?”
Toge’s smile is so sure, so sweet, at hearing those familiar words. He holds Yuuta’s face in his hands and kisses him lightly, sipping from his lips like a fine wine.
“Please,” he whispers.
They fumble to undress each other while still kissing, kicking various articles of clothing aside as their hands seek warm skin. He caresses every part of Toge he can reach, tracing up his arms and down his ribs to the sloping planes of his stomach and further, to milky white thighs that he can grip tightly as his mouth sucks bruises into Toge’s neck because he can.
Having unfettered access to the scent gland there is intoxicating . Toge’s dreamy scent warms and rises, as if their room is a private garden, thick with flowers. Yuuta breathes it in, almost dizzy with it, even as he bruises the skin along Toge’s shoulder with his mouth. He’s already salivating a little, teeth aching.
Toge mewls underneath him as he helps Yuuta shed his jeans and underwear. His small fingers immediately curl around Yuuta’s length, his cock filling in the omega’s hand as Toge pumps him slowly. His silver hair is disheveled, eyes glazed, but he’s wriggled out of all his clothes, his lean body moving wantonly against Yuuta’s.
“That’s it, baby,” he groans, reaching between them to dip his fingers into Toge’s hot slick. The omega’s dripping for him - his alpha is aggressively pleased by this - and he makes sure his hand is good and wet before taking Toge in his grip.
Toge throws his head back, his pretty throat front and center as he moans in his broken voice, trembling as Yuuta works him with confident strokes. He understands now why the rest of the pack has made themselves scarce - no doubt none of them wanted to hear, or smell, anything that was going on here tonight.
Toge’s nails skim down his back, smoothing over his sides, and he makes a needy sound as he rubs one of his calves against the back of Yuuta’s knee. He’s panting a little, eyes dilated.
“Yuuta,” he whines, and they’ve been together long enough now that Yuuta knows what he wants.
He reaches down to catch one of Toge’s hands, interlocking their fingers and pressing that arm back into the nest as he reaches down to plunder Toge’s hole, stretching his rim, the slick sounds of his movements loud in the room.
More breathy whines spill from Toge’s lips and by the time Toge’s ready for him, Yuuta is so hard he might burst just from listening to him.
They come together with a deep thrust, Yuuta carving up into the lithe body beneath him as Toge cries out, hooking his legs over Yuuta’s arms as he leans down to kiss the corner of Toge’s soft mouth.
“Hang on to me, sweetheart,” he grits out, overcome.
Toge hangs on.
Yuuta loses himself in the push and pull of their bodies, the decadent feel of his omega’s heat, the panting huffs Toge makes as the air is punched out of him on every stroke. He looks wrecked, silver hair in disarray and color on his cheeks as he looks up at Yuuta with eyes glazed with pleasure. His arms slide up around Yuuta’s shoulders, fingers sinking in the alpha’s dark, inky hair even as he moans into the delicious friction between them.
He’s so beautiful, Yuuta thinks, suddenly stunned with the realization that after this he’ll be bonded with this lovely boy beneath him, mated in every sense of the word, two halves of a whole for the rest of their lives. Toge is giving him everything - his life, his love, his trust, his happiness - and is accepting Yuuta’s in return. It makes Yuuta’s heart clench, his eyes stinging a little as he leans down to kiss his boy breathless, messy and gasping as he keeps up their relentless tempo, his knot swelling.
A wave crests and Toge’s body shudders around him, the omega arching his back as he comes apart. His body milks Yuuta’s length, clenching at him, greedy, and Yuuta growls, instincts soaring, almost blinding him.
In one swift motion, he leans down and bites - clamping down on the tender skin on the slope of Toge’s neck, right over the scent gland there. Toge wails, a sound so strangled and involuntary, that Yuuta comes immediately, hips jerking as his knot catches and he spills inside his omega - his.
Toge clutches at him and Yuuta tastes blood in his mouth but his jaw is locked, his inner alpha howling his pride and victory. He’s deep in a conditioned haze as his body continues to thrust shallowly through his orgasm, pumping his seed into Toge’s willing body as if this is a heat and the alpha is intent on breeding him.
One day, he thinks, half lost to ancient impulses.
It takes a long time for Yuuta to come back to himself.
Toge’s stroking his back and hair, nuzzling the side of his head, before Yuuta finally releases his bite, moving back enough to lave the site with his tongue, trying to soothe the hurt he’s caused.
Toge doesn’t feel hurt though, he discovers, a new awareness of his mate blooming in his mind. He feels sore, tired, but also sated, elated.
Yuuta draws back, looking down into Toge’s eyes as he runs a hand along the curve of his face. His omega looks… incandescent.
Yuuta’s mouth is dry, his voice merely a croak. “Are you alright?”
Toge nods immediately, arms locking around Yuuta’s neck. There are tears in his lashes but they don’t fall, merely glitter in the low light as he smiles tremulously.
“I’m happy,” he whispers.
Yuuta’s heart melts. “I can feel it,” he replies, smoothing back silver hair. “You’ve made me so happy, too, Toge. I’m…” He swallows, struggling for the right words, and settles for what he knows best. “I love you. I’m so glad you found me.”
A hurt stray in the dark, reaching for him, trusting him.
Toge’s eyes crinkle as his smile grows. He writes his love across Yuuta’s collarbone.
Thanks for showing me the way home.
