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Jayce wants to hate the squirming creature when the midwife puts her in his arms. She’s incredibly small with a shock of dark hair and one perfect mole on her forehead, so he immediately loses this battle.
“You almost killed him,” he says, the words half stuck in his throat. And then he realizes how unfair it is for that to be the first thing he says to his daughter. “Welcome to this life, I'll keep you safe.”
Viktor is sleeping soundly in the bed, the most restful sleep he's likely had in months. They both have morphine to thank for this. Jayce wants to be in the bed next to him, but he's relegated to a chair next to it. When the midwife hands Jayce a bottle of warm formula, the formula they'd so diligently bartered for a steady delivery on, he looks up at her with panic but she tuts.
“She doesn't know much,” the woman, Lora, explains. “but it's highly likely she knows this.”
He's read books on this, he's held other people's babies but this is different. Jayce is responsible for this one and until Viktor is awake and recovered, he's solely responsible for her. Lifting the bottle to her small mouth, so gently, he looks on in awe as she latches. A perfect little creature.
“Where's Adrian?” Jayce asks, once he's over the initial awe of holding his daughter.
“My daughter took him for a walk when he was getting restless. He'll be home shortly.”
Adrian was a little thief, a boy of only five they'd found in their home trying to pilfer whatever they had. They didn't have much, but somehow he got a home out of this. As if on cue, a curly head of hair pops around the doorway, rushing up to Jayce's knee. And to think not long ago Jayce was terrible with kids.
“This is your sister,” Jayce explains. “She doesn't have a name yet, but she will soon.”
“Can I hold her?” he asks politely. “She's tiny.”
Jayce glances over at Viktor's prone form. It feels wrong to let someone else hold her first, he did all of the work. But it's unlikely he would see it that way. Still, Jayce isn't ready to let her go.
“Later, I promise, kiddo. She's just so…fresh.”
It's been less than twenty minutes, after all, and it's wild how calm the hurricane of their lives has become in that short time.
“Does she like flowers?” Adrian asks then, turning to another way to show his appreciation.
“Do you want to go pick her some flowers? I think she'd like that, and pick some for Táta too. He especially likes the blue ones down by the stream.”
“I didn't want to let mine go for the first few days, either,” the midwife says, once the boy is once again out of the room. She places a cup of tea on the nightstand next to Jayce. “She's healthy, for the record. Ten fingers, ten toes. Your husband is going to be enamored.”
“Was this a mistake?” he asks, turning to her. She's a woman of about his mother's age, tall and well built. They both admired her tenderness mixed with honesty.
“Is that a question to ask with a beautiful baby in your arms?” she answers with a question of her own. “I told the both of you it would likely be difficult and you made that decision to continue together.”
It might not be a mistake but it was certainly an accident. Adrian had just settled into the spare room in the attic- his choice- when Viktor started getting violently ill in the mornings. In the two year since they were spit out here, in their little paradise, his health had been the best it had ever been. Which, to be fair, was a reasonably low standard.
The village doctor immediately referred them to the midwife who laid out options to them. She didn't scold or reprimand, they both had assumed that all the changes to their bodies would make it difficult to produce a child. But Viktor's relative good health and recent lack of taking testosterone gave a perfect opportunity for this surprise.
Neither of them could really say why they chose this, other than it felt right at the time.
Viktor all but startles awake two hours later.
“Kde je dítě?” he exclaims immediately, common tongue failing him. Jayce knows what he's asking by the panicked look in his eyes.
“She's fine, she's fine.” Jayce stands slowly, moving over to the bassinet where she's sleeping. “You need to continue relaxing, love. Your body went through-”
“Not the worst ordeal it's been through.”
Jayce lifts the baby carefully, making sure to support her head and neck. Viktor is all but shaking on the bed, holding out his arms for her. When she's placed there, though, cradled by thin but surprisingly strong arms, he goes still.
“This is our daughter. We still have to give her a name, but I happen to think she's perfect,” Jayce says as he settles on the edge of the bed.
“She looks so much like you.”
“Talis genes are unfortunately very strong.”
“Not unfortunately, she's beautiful.”
“We're not doing this again, V,” Jayce says abruptly. He leans in, pressing his forehead to Viktor's. “You almost died.”
Viktor had bled, rather profusely, during labor, and the baby seemed content to stay put. It was a terrifying ordeal and even seeing Viktor rested, with some color in his cheeks, does not quell the concern chipping away at every fiber of Jayce.
“I don't think we could even if we wanted to, dear heart, so please relax.”
“We didn't think we could the first time around.”
“Lora made it very clear that there is a good chance I would not be able to-” Viktor clears his throat. “After what she had to do to deliver the baby safely.”
Jayce sits with that thought for a moment, stroking a thumb across Viktor's cheek. Perhaps it was cruel, after all his body has been through, to force it through another transformation.
“I was terrified of losing you, Viktor,” Jayce says at length. “I don't know what I'd have done after everything. I'd have gone mad.”
“Wouldn't be the first time.”
Jayce slides his hand down, taking a chance to coo over the baby. When she grabs his finger, the tears start to flow. Hating her would be impossible.
“I think we should call her Ximena,” Viktor begins. “After your mother.”
“Are you sure?”
Part of him feels it's deeply unfair. Viktor sacrificed his health again, spending the past three months mostly in a wheelchair, then on bedrest. He'd almost lost his life and then produced the most beautiful child, only to name her after the mother of the man who stood by helplessly.
“Yes, I think it suits her. Mena for short.”
Since Jayce pulled his hand away, Viktor hasn't looked anywhere else but that tiny, precious face.
“Lora said she's healthy, the normal amount of fingers and toes and all that,” Jayce remarks.
“I suppose only time will tell if- well.”
Jayce chuckles at the implication. That had been a fear and curiosity of them both, the way their bodies have been touched by the arcane and its impact on their genetics.
“I suppose we will have to keep an eye on her in case she starts floating or something.” Viktor pauses. “Has Adrian met her?”
“Yeah, he's sleeping now. He tuckered himself out picking flowers.”
Jayce gestures to a small bouquet of half broken blue flowers in a small vase on the nightstand.
“I want to keep holding her but I'm afraid I'm tired,” Viktor says, reluctantly handing Ximena over.
“She's probably hungry anyway,” Jayce says, standing carefully. The baby fusses but calms quickly. “It’s amazing how often they eat, right?”
“She has a lot of catching up to do, if she's going to be her father's daughter.”
“What about you? Are you hungry?” Jayce asks.
“I certainly could eat.”
“The people of the village brought by more food than we could possibly eat,” he explains. “And Lora's daughter has agreed to stay with us for a few days to help us settle in.”
“Mm, all this settling in a cottage outside of town to be alone for them to bother us ceaselessly,” Viktor half jokes. He does still dearly love his privacy.
Jayce leans over and kisses his temple. “I love you, I'll be back with food before you can even miss me.”
These days, Jayce is more content than ever to sit back and watch as life moves around him. Viktor is carefully seated on a rock by the creek, leaning over to talk to Adrian about salamanders. He's got his pants rolled up to mid calf, exposing his pale ankles. If they're outside for much longer, Jayce will have to insist he puts a hat on to protect from the sun as the day creeps to afternoon.
Adrian seems to be listening as best as a six year old can, but he's also splashing in the creek bed looking for said salamanders.
“Adrian,” Jayce hears Viktor gently chide, “you'll only frighten them like this, you have to be gentle.”
Jayce steps closer then, kissing the top of Viktor's head. His hair has gotten long enough that he'll ask for a haircut again soon.
“I can show him,” Jayce says, carefully handing over the baby on his chest. “She's changed and fed, so she shouldn't be any trouble for you.”
Viktor tucks Mena carefully into the sling he's taken to wearing across his chest, kissing her soft head. Jayce sits on the soft grass next to Viktor's rock, rolling up his pant legs. It's haphazard, the brace on his left leg keeping him from rolling to his knee as he'd like, but it'll do.
Jayce directs Adrian further upstream, directing him on how to gently nudge rocks. He squeals with delight the first time he sees a creature dart from under the rock, even if it's only a tadpole. The water feels cool on Jayce's calves, still a reminder that summer hasn't completely taken over.
Mena is three months old now and they've been endlessly tired without fail. It's rewarding and Jayce has never been so full of love, but he can tell from the lines of Viktor's body as he watches them that he's exhausted.
“Dad,” Adrian asks, tugging at Jayce's shirt. “Is this a salamander?”
“It sure is, bud.” Jayce ruffles his hair, looking at the creature Adrian has found. “Why don't you show Táta quickly and then put him back?”
Adrian is not elegant in his gesture, but does manage to scoop up the amphibian before walking carefully downstream to show Viktor.
“You found one!” Viktor exclaims fondly.
Jayce learned early on in their new life together that Viktor's voice was soothing to children. It was soothing to him, sure, but that wasn't surprising, given his affection for the man. The village children, though, immediately took a liking to Viktor and his “funny accent” because he was gentle and always had something to teach them. To be fair, they liked Jayce too but it was more because he could hold them upside down and give piggyback rides. Small victories.
“Dad says I have to put him back but can I keep him?” Adrian asks, excitedly.
“No, brouček, he needs to stay in the water with his family. Maybe he has a little sister who needs lullabies sung to her as well.”
Adrian looks dejected for a moment but then walks back over to Jayce, gently cupping his hand in the water to let the salamander go free. Jayce takes his hand and walks him out of the stream, then back towards Viktor and Mena.
“Is she sleeping?” Jayce asks, peering over Viktor's shoulder.
“No, she's observing,” Viktor responds, turning his face to steal a kiss. “I'm sure she will be asleep soon.”
“Mm, and Adrian is getting tired out…”
“You're a terrible man, Jayce.”
“I'm an opportunist.” He kisses Viktor's neck before straightening back out to stand.
“And that's how we ended up in this situation in the first place.”
Mena coos up at something, Jayce and Viktor could argue endlessly about which of them it is but it's likely just the joy of being held. Jayce reaches down to press a finger against her nose, earning him a smile.
He's not so sure but in the crinkle of golden eyes and the shape of her mouth, he sees something so tenderly familiar. It seems the Talis genes have had some competition.
“She's still so small,” Viktor observes, and while he will never say he's worried, it's obvious he is.
“The doctor said she's growing just fine, my love.”
“I just hope that I-”
“Nothing either of us did has set her back. Babies are small, she's eating and sleeping and making our lives harder, that's what she's supposed to do.”
“Can you help me up?”
Jayce leans his shoulder down so Viktor can brace himself to stand. The cane Jayce made him is leaning against the rock and he grabs it, striding towards where Adrian is playing in the grass.
“I'm making a flower crown,” Adrian says, holding up his haphazard creation. “For Dad, because he helped me with the salamander.”
Viktor smiles down at him.
“You don't have to do that, bud,” Jayce says, sitting down next to him. He winces slightly at the pain in his left leg, but adjusts to sit more comfortably. “Your táta used these flowers to make me a ring when he asked me to marry him, you know?”
Jayce plucks one of the blue flowers, twisting it into the shape of a small ring. They're not legally married, but that doesn't matter in these parts. The hand fasting ceremony they had holds more weight than any legal documents would. He holds up the ring to Viktor, who takes it and slides it over the plain silver band he wears on his left finger.
“I think there's a storm coming,” Jayce observes, looking out their bedroom window.
Adrian has, blessedly, laid down for a nap and Mena has finished a bottle, nestled in Jayce's arms. Everyone is content. She'll doze off for a while now.
“It's likely, let's hope it holds off until evening,” Viktor responds, looking up from the book he's reading. “On calm days like this, it almost makes me want another.”
“You promised, V.”
“I told you, it's incredibly unlikely to happen. Besides, much as I love her, I do value my full bodily autonomy.”
“It was highly unlikely the first time.”
“Put the baby in the nursery and come hold me, Jayce.”
Viktor isn't jealous of the baby, necessarily, because jealousy is a petty emotion and Viktor loves the baby with an obvious depth. It's just that Viktor was still learning to communicate his own wants and needs and sometimes is rather blunt. Sometimes he knows that he needs Jayce more in a given moment than a sleeping babe in arms.
Mena is sound asleep when Jayce places her in her crib, a rudimentary thing the local carpenter helped him make. In their village, it's customary for the father to build the crib for the newborn. Viktor scoffed and insisted on helping by painting a vignette of the starry sky on the side. The baby has two fathers, after all.
Jayce makes sure to very quietly latch the door behind him. The first few times they'd left the baby in her room alone, they'd both panicked. Then they realized that if the baby was never alone, they were never alone and that would not do.
“What did you say about holding you?” Jayce asks, slipping into bed beside him.
“Well, I was hoping for something a little bit more than that,” Viktor turns to him and responds, setting his book aside.
“Are you sure, V?”
“I'm positive, Jayce. I appreciate the ask, but we have half an hour maximum until a small child runs in here asking to pick berries or hear a story.”
They've had sex fewer times than Jayce can count on his hand since the baby. It's not exactly something he begrudges Viktor for, but that doesn't mean he doesn't miss the physical intimacy. And in Viktor's defense, it was well over two months before he was healed enough for more than heavy petting. In fact, all things considered, his libido turned around rather quickly.
Jayce pulls him in for a kiss, sliding a hand around his back underneath the cool linen of his shirt. They're both warm from the summer heat but it's pleasant, the perfect conditions for a lazy fuck. Maybe tonight he'll spread Viktor out, make him squirm on his tongue for half an hour. Right now they don't have time.
“You looked so handsome, splashing in the creek,” Viktor says, fumbling with the laces on Jayce's pants. “I love you to the point of bursting, is that allowed?”
“Of course it's allowed, V.” He kisses Viktor's jaw line, feels the faintest hint of stubble beneath his lips. “You had my baby and you're still asking if it's okay to love me? Maybe we should have another, just to get the point across.”
“Jayce, don't- don't tempt things you can't make happen.”
“I'm sorry, my love.” He takes Viktor's face in his hands, kissing him all over. “Let me show you I love you in the best way I know how, hmm?”
“By doing dishes?” Viktor teases, pulling out Jayce's cock to stroke him slowly a few times.
“I can do that later, right now I need to be inside you.”
“No foreplay, Jayce?” Viktor is teasing him.
“You said we have thirty minutes and I plan to fuck you for as many of them as possible, V.”
Viktor kisses him again, hard and sweet, as the both awkwardly attempt to shimmy out of their trousers. They have to stop along the way, helping each other with their cumbersome braces. Jayce has tried to streamline them for ease of removal, but it hinders their efficiency if they're too simple.
“Back brace off?” Jayce asks, once Viktor has pulled off his own shirt.
“You're down to less than twenty five minutes,” Viktor warns, rolling over onto his side.
Jayce, as one of the world's smartest men, takes this as a cue to shuffle behind him, holding up his right leg both for support and easier access. Despite the complaints of lack of foreplay, Viktor is slick and warm when he presses in.
“You feel so good,” Jayce whispers, kissing along his neck. “Can't believe my luck.”
“Move, Jayce.”
Nuzzling against him, Jayce starts to thrust slowly, fucking into him. They're not going to be able to sustain this position for long, but it's delightful when he bottoms out, pressing so sweetly against Viktor. There's a quiet part of his brain, louder with each thrust, that wants to try for another baby, against the odds, to build the largest, most beautiful family with this man.
He's brought back to his senses by the rustle of Viktor moving to rub his clit, not quite seeking orgasm but certainly elevating his pleasure.
“Jayce-” he moans softly. “My leg, it's-”
Jayce kisses his cheek and drops his leg before he pulls out carefully. Viktor rolls over onto his back, spreading his legs invitingly. The sight of him is always breathtaking, the dark hair curling around his cock, trailing down to his thighs. And then there's his cunt, a rosy pink tease, a perfect place to bury himself.
Taking himself in his hand, he guides his cock back inside. Viktor grabs him with the same fervor he did the first time they did this, digging his nails into Jayce's back. His better leg wraps around Jayce, urging him forward. He obliges.
“That's it, dear heart,” Viktor says, voice quiet and low. One day they'll have the time and space for Jayce to make him scream again, the way he did those first few times.
“Harder?”
Viktor nods, pulling Jayce to him for a kiss. He bites his lip, teasing at first, then gently sucking. Jayce thrusts harder, even as his hips stutter. His right hand seeks Viktor's dick between them, rubbing in broad circles. He can't have the precision he would prefer in this position, but it works, Viktor clenching around him with each thrust.
“Can I-” Jayce groans. “Inside of you?”
That earns a more enthusiastic nod. Jayce continues thrusting in earnest, pleased with the gentle thump of their headboard on the wall. With a deep thrust and a groan he comes, spurred on by the bite of Viktor's nails in his back.
Before he can pull out, Viktor grabs him, mouths for him to stay for a moment longer. Viktor rubs himself in a familiar motion, the rough circles Jayce always seeks to replicate. Then he's coming hard, biting his lower lip to keep from crying out as he clenches around Jayce's softening cock.
Jayce collapses on top of him, allowing himself to slip out. Viktor runs a soothing hand along his back. They're both sweaty and can't stay like this for long but it's comforting, two bodies pressed together.
“We need to put clothes back on,” Viktor comments. “And wash up.”
Jayce grumbles, rolling off of him. He obliges nonetheless. They take their time, though, dressing each other between kisses and gentle touches. The time to be intimate in the daylight is so scarce these days that they must savor it when it comes to them. Jayce has just finished rehooking Viktor's brace when there is a polite knock on the door.
“You can come in, mijo,” Jayce calls.
Adrian pushes open the door, speaking before he enters.
“Can we go pick some of those berries?”
It does storm that night. The rain is brutal on the roof of their cottage, and Adrian refuses to sleep unless he's nestled between them. Jayce brings the baby into the room, sleeping sweetly in her bassinet before they come to bed, but Viktor insists on cradling her in his arms.
“She's asleep, my love,” Jayce whispers, attempting to not wake Adrian between them. “She's not afraid of the storm.”
“I know, I know.”
“And you have to sleep, too.”
It's mostly dark in the room but Jayce can tell Viktor is glaring at him across the bed. Viktor has always been uneasy in storms and something about the vast space in their precious meadow makes him more uncomfortable.
Jayce lays down, facing his little family. He can only make out shapes, but they're the most precious shapes in the world.
Jayce's fingers feel clumsy in Viktor's hair. He's trimmed it neatly, but Viktor has requested a singular, tight braid under his ear. There's some significance that Jayce doesn't quite understand, a cultural difference between them, he doesn't need to understand to oblige.
Adrian is on the floor across from Mena, reading aloud from a book. He's had his hair trimmed and styled by Jayce already, the curls always proving to be both a challenge and a point of grace.
“Maybe I should go back to short hair,” Jayce muses.
“Mm, I think this length suits you still,” Viktor observes. “As long as someone can't grab a fistful of it and try to yank it from your scalp.”
“Oh someone does,” Jayce leans in close, speaking low. “But he's an adult man who knows better.”
“And you're here talking about cutting it short. Next you'll try to shave the beard off.”
“That's just too much work.” He shakes his head. “I think you're all done.”
Viktor picks up the shaving glass sitting on the table, admiring the work that Jayce has done. Jayce thinks he looks very handsome but he's incredibly biased.
“Do you want a quick shave?” Jayce asks, trailing his fingers along Viktor's jawline.
“It's so patchy.”
“Mm, if you let it grow you might get a proper beard after a decade or two.”
Viktor huffs and stands, holding out his hand expectantly. Jayce hands him his cane before sweeping up the bits of hair on the floor. The temptation to keep a few locks always swells in him, but Viktor let him have a strand the very first thing he cut his hair. An old woman in the village helped him set it into a pin that he wears when he has occasion to dress nice.
Jayce let Viktor keep a lock of his hair as well, but he chose to keep it as is, in a box of important trinkets he started keeping. Sometimes, on what Jayce suspects are emotionally rough days, he'll catch Viktor digging through the contents of the box for comfort.
Some wounds, it seems, never heal.
Autumn comes without much fanfare. They harvest the few vegetables they planted in their small garden and spend three days canning whatever they can. It reminds Jayce of their days in the lab, only their small interlopers are far more welcome.
“I'm glad we have that little root cellar,” Jayce says, stacking some jars in their small pantry. “Otherwise we'd be drowning in produce.”
Viktor is at the kitchen table, assisting Adrian in making some labels. The haphazard child's handwriting will certainly make eating carrots all winter long more entertaining. Mena sleeps soundly, strapped to Jayce's chest as he works. She's grown into a chubby baby with an almost full head of hair. Jayce thinks she's objectively very cute, but he does have his biases.
“We should trade some,” Viktor suggests. “That way we won't have to spend money on meat.”
Last night they'd gone over the ledgers and felt the pangs of financial stress. Raising two children meant they both had less time for the one off jobs they used to support themselves previously and it would likely be easier to keep a regular schedule so someone could stay with the baby. Jayce agreed to take on regular clients as a blacksmith and Viktor will tutor villagers.
“Táta, how do you spell zucchini?” Adrian cuts in, asking for some support.
Viktor goes over the letters slowly, his soothing tone like water over pebbles. Yes, he'll be a very good teacher but Jayce will have to watch that his adult clients do not fall in love. There's sometimes something dark and vicious in him that wants Viktor all to himself, to share him with no one and nothing. Before he can muse on this feeling more, Viktor's eyes snap up to meet his. The smile he gives is sweet and fond, just a small curl of his perfect lips.
Jayce strides over and leans down to kiss him. They're met with an exaggerated “ewww” followed by some giggles and the baby starts to fuss, breaking them out of the moment.
“She's probably hungry,” Viktor remarks. “Adri and I can feed her.”
“Oh, she does eat good for us when her big brother prepares the bottle, huh?” Jayce teases, winking at Adrian. They don't like forcing a child to have responsibilities, but he likes to be involved with Mena.
Adrian takes this as a cue to hop off his chair. Jayce will have to help with the heating, but otherwise he's become very adept at this. Viktor helps to extract Mena from the wrap she's secured in, holding her carefully on his lap.
“She's very cute when she's not crying or throwing up or ruining diapers,” Jayce teases.
“She's always cute,” Viktor retorts, even though Mena has decided to chew on one of his fingers.
“Yeah. Yeah she is.” Jayce pauses to enjoy this vignette of domestic life before he joins Adri in preparing the bottle.
The cooler months lend them some privacy, as not only do the village children stop by less often, but Adri attends school three days a week. Each of these days, Jayce walks him to the nearest neighbor's house and then waves goodbye as he rides in their cart to the small school. The first time, Jayce came home in tears, but he's mostly used to it now. It's important to both him and Viktor that their children receive the best possible education, after all.
Today is a lazy day, naked in bed. Jayce had his mouth on Viktor ten minutes prior but the world has become still again. He rests his cheek on Viktor's stomach, not minding the press of the leather from the brace on his skin.
“Does it ever bother you that your friends and family don't know?” Viktor asks, petting Jayce's hair. “About us, about this.”
“Sometimes, yeah. Especially my mom. I mean, she probably thinks I'm dead, right? And instead I'm married with two kids, living a good and honest life.”
They've discussed it before, telling others, but it's too risky. Viktor dead to Piltover is safe, Viktor alive has a large bounty on his head. And Jayce, once regarded as a hero, would likely be seen as complicit given, well. The aforementioned marriage and honest life.
“I hope she has found peace in her life,” Viktor says softly. “I hope everyone has.”
Jayce looks up at him, frowning at his melancholy expression. He's pulled away from saying anything by a small but familiar wail in the next room. Placing a kiss to Viktor's stomach, he stands and grabs his underwear. When he's slipped them on, he darts into the next room.
He's just finished changing the diaper when Viktor appears in the doorway, wearing only one of Jayce's sweaters and his briefs. His hair is down still, messy from their lovemaking earlier. Jayce wants to keep him like this forever.
“I cannot wait for potty training,” Jayce admits, holding the squirming baby out to Viktor.
“Jayce I-” Viktor doesn't move to grab Mena. “I fear it's happened again.”
“What's happened, V?” Jayce pulls Mena back to him, supporting her against his chest.
“Remember how I've been nauseous unexpectedly?”
“V, you said you couldn't. You told me the doctor said-”
“I know what I said! And I meant it, I haven't confirmed anything yet.”
“I'm not losing you,” Jayce tries to quell the panic in his voice. “Not for the world.”
He's trying to have a serious conversation, but there's a seven month old prodding at his face. Mena giggles, breaking the tension in the room. Viktor steps forward, taking her from Jayce, as he was supposed to a moment ago.
“If it's true, I'll have it taken care of, Jayce,” Viktor sounds calm, level headed. “I know what I promised you and I know what I owe this family.”
“But what do you want?” Jayce asks, reaching for him. Viktor doesn't pull away at least.
“I don't know what decision I'd make. It's easy to say I would keep it when that's simply not an option. Three is rather a lot of children, though. Especially when I never expected to live to have any.”
“I always assumed I'd have at least four,” Jayce says. “But the two we have?”
“Absolutely perfect.” Viktor punctuates this statement with a kiss to Mena’s perfect head.
At the end of it, it's only a scare. A false alarm to send a ripple of panic through their small family. The doctor reiterated the unlikeliness of it happening, but suggested some options as a failsafe. They decide to mostly ignore them and not think about what that means.
Winter settles in before they are even truly aware. It snows heavily early on, leaving them functionally trapped in their cottage. Thankfully, they've prepared for this for months and it's a peaceful time.
“Why can't babies speak?” Adrian asks, looking up from the floor where he's been chasing a crawling Mena.
“Babies are not fully formed when they’re born,” Viktor explains, looking up from his book. “It's like butterflies, they are eggs and then they are caterpillars, and then they are butterflies. A caterpillar can't do everything a butterfly can.”
“Am I a butterfly, táta?”
“No,” Viktor says, smiling to himself. “You're my little beetle, brouček.”
“Beetles are cool.”
The door swings open then and Jayce stomps in, carrying a large armful of firewood. Viktor is immediately reaching for his cane, striding over to fuss over him.
“I told you we have enough wood for the next day or so,” Viktor is somewhere between chiding him and showing concern. “It's so cold out there, you'll freeze to death. And your leg-”
Jayce has, in the meanwhile, peeled off his gloves and reached for Viktor's waist, pressing cold hands to his warm torso. Viktor yelps.
“You bastard, you'll have to find yourself a new husband if you keep this up. I get cold very-”
He's interrupted then, this time by the type of kiss that makes him immediately weak at the knees. Viktor grips the front of Jayce's coat, seemingly forgiving him for his transgressions.
“Dad!” Adrian rises then, rushing towards them. “Táta said I'm a beetle.”
“Did he now?” Jayce chuckles when he pulls away. “I think you're more like a little grub. Maybe a worm.”
“I'm not a worm!” he protests. “Mena is the little worm.”
“You're both little worms.”
When Viktor steps away, he lifts Adrian and flips him upside down. Jayce won't be able to do this much longer, because the boy seems to be growing like a weed, so he indulges when he can. He spins, slowly, but enough to make himself dizzy, before he puts the boy safely down on the ground.
“You do need to be more careful, dear heart,” Viktor comments. “And no more shutting me up!” He works on the buttons of Jayce's coat, helping him slip out of the woolen monstrosity. “I know what it's like to navigate the snow with a weak leg, and then to carry all this wood…”
“I know, I know, V.” He kisses Viktor's temple, then his cheek. “But it's done for the next day or so and I want to get warm by the fire.”
Jayce sits in front of the fire to warm himself up, stripped down to the long thermals he wears under his winter clothes. He's busy staring at the fire and doesn't notice Viktor holding the mug of tea down for him.
“Your mind is in the forge again,” Viktor says, and Jayce startles.
They both know Viktor doesn't mean the small forge in Jayce's workshed.
“The fire is always so familiar, especially when the snow is…” Jayce trails off.
“Terrifying when you almost died in a blizzard, yes.”
“Dad almost died?” Adrian exclaims, dragging himself and the baby closer to hear.
“When I was not far off from your age. I got caught in a big, big blizzard,” Jayce begins. “There was no one there to help me and-” he turns, glancing at where Viktor has settled back down in his chair. “a mage rescued me, and transported me to the most beautiful place in the world.”
“Someone saved you with magic?” Adrian asks, wide eyed.
“Yeah, someone did.”
“Was he a cool mage?”
“Nah, he was a complete loser,” Jayce jokes, “and definitely not handsome at all.”
Viktor huffs behind them.
The winter holidays have passed and all that hangs in the air is the bitter cold. Most of the warmest blankets have been commandeered by Adrian for his little fort in the attic, or used to create insulation for the baby. Jayce and Viktor are left to keep each other warm with two blankets and their body heat, which at least presents a great opportunity to sleep mostly naked in each other’s arms. Viktor runs cold under the best of conditions, so he’s always seemingly as close to burrowing inside of Jayce as he can. Tonight is no exception, Viktor’s lithe body pressed to his chest. He thinks he must be sleeping, but then he hears something like a sob.
“V, are you alright?” Jayce asks, nuzzling his cheek against the top of Viktor’s head.
“I don’t deserve this,” Viktor sniffles. This is not the first time they’ve had this conversation, and it likely won’t be the last. “This beautiful home, two perfect children, and you?”
“It’s not a matter of deserving, you know.”
“I’ve done so many awful things, the blood on my hands.”
“The blood on our hands, V. There are no sins of yours that are not also sins of mine,” Jayce says softly. And this is true, at least to Jayce. The burden of lives lost is something they’ll have to shoulder together for the rest of their lives. “But all we can do is mourn and do better, you know this. We can’t bring people back.”
It weighs on Jayce’s mind too, he has to admit. None heavier than that innocent child, the accidental casualty of his rage. If someone had dared to lay a hand on his child, he would burn the world down. For that death alone, Jayce deserves death. But it’s truly not about deserving.
“People, with lives, happy and miserable and everything in between, gone. And here I am-”
“V, my love.” Jayce slides further down the bed, so he’s face to face with Viktor. It’s dark but enough moonlight streams into the room that he can make out his features. “People don’t get happy lives because they deserve them, you know this, fundamentally you know this. But if you’re given a good life? Take it and run.”
Appealing to Viktor’s sense of justice seems to turn something in him, shifting his expression to something more neutral. The remnants of distress are still there, a few tears clinging to his cheeks, and that’s okay. If Viktor needs to cry through the night, he can. For their first year together, they both would weep, sometimes separately, sometimes together. It’s rarer now, they’re almost too busy for tears, but humanity seeps through. Beautiful humanity will come through no matter how hard they try to run from it, but Jayce has always been better at embracing it.
Viktor kisses him softly, breaking him from his own reverie he hadn’t even realized he was wandering down. Sometimes he gets lost in his mind, but there’s always a hand to hold his, or a mouth to press against his lips. They are two broken people, perhaps, but together they make something whole enough to get by.
“It’s so cold,” Viktor mutters against his mouth.
“Do you need me to warm you up?” Jayce half jokes, sliding a hand down to cup Viktor’s ass.
“If we work up a sweat it’ll only cool us back down.”
“Mm, logic.” Jayce pulls him closer. “The enemy of libidos everywhere.”
Winter is blissfully short and spring comes just when it needs to. Adrian has decided it's his duty to teach Ximena to speak, even though it's still a bit early. He drags her about the cottage, always under a watchful eye, and narrates everything about his life to her.
It's to no one's surprise, however, that her first uttered word is a simple “da” mostly because it's to no one's surprise who she has wrapped around her chubby little finger. Jayce at least tries not to be smug about it, which he thinks is big of him. He's humbled soon enough, when he realizes this means that “da” is called for at every opportunity.
“Surely she must learn a new word soon, Jayce, and then you'll be free.” Viktor sits on their small porch, watching as Jayce plants seeds along the side of the cottage. There's a cat curled up next to Viktor, the newest addition to the family.
“Táta isn't that hard, you know,” Jayce mutters, filling in a small hole. These are flower seeds, but around back he's planting herbs.
“I'm already wounded that the child I carried for nine months said your name first.”
Jayce looks over at him, then behind him where Adrian is reading quietly. He's recently started with chapter books, which is very daunting for him, but he's very pleased with himself. Mena is napping on a makeshift mattress on the porch, seemingly sound asleep in the calm of the afternoon. She had previously demanded Jayce put her to bed for her nap, but at least it did the trick.
“I'm sure she'll be commanding you before too long, as well,” Jayce says, his expression twisting to a soft smile. What a beautiful little family he has. “Honestly, you won't know what to do with yourself, taking orders.”
“I know how to take orders, Jayce.”
“Oh, of course.” It's even less of a surprise whose finger Jayce was wrapped around first. “I just have never personally seen it.”
“Well with you it's different, you're my darling husband.”
Jayce shakes his head before he stands, dusting himself off lightly. His leg feels good today, something he's no longer taking for granted. He can see the shift in Viktor's expression as he approaches, a narrowing of the eyes to match the cat sleeping beside him, but he's powerless to being lifted off of his perch.
“You're filthy,” Viktor protests, even as he loops his arms around Jayce's neck.
“Oh, and clothes can never be washed,” Jayce teases, leaning in for a kiss. “If I ask you to kiss me will you at least listen to that command?”
“I'll consider it,” Viktor teases, pressing his lips to Jayce's. “I love you,” he exhales when they part.
“I love you,” Jayce responds, before he carefully places him back on the porch. He takes one of Viktor's hands, kissing the back of it. “I'll go wash up to get started on dinner.”
“Come back here,” Viktor instructs, and he listens, receiving his reward in the form of another kiss before he has to pull away.
They can continue later.
When Viktor appears in the doorway, holding the now awake baby in his arms not even ten minutes later, Jayce feels an immediate sense of panic. Except Mena looks fine except for being sleepy still and Adrian trails after dutifully, nose still buried in his book.
“The postman came,” Viktor says. “You received a letter.”
Viktor can't extend his hand to give the letter, as he has to hold it in the same arm as he holds Mena, so Jayce moves forward to take it.
“Caitlyn?” Jayce reads. “How did she-?”
“Who's that?” Adrian asks, curiously. They don't get a lot of mail, after all.
“An old friend of your dad's,” Viktor explains.
Thankfully that satisfies him and he wanders with his book to the living room.
“I guess we haven't exactly been subtle but we've been so remote,” Jayce explains. And then there's the fact that it's been over three years now.
“You should go read, I'll take care of dinner,” Viktor offers. “Mena can supervise from her chair.”
Jayce steps past, kissing Viktor on the cheek and Mena on the top of the head. He settles into his chair in the living room, watching for a moment as Adrian pauses to understand a difficult word.
He sloppily breaks the seal before he starts reading.
Dear Jayce,
This is probably a strange letter to receive if you aren't him, so please burn it immediately if you're not. First, let me say that you are not in any danger. It is only from personal curiosity and affection that I have found you. After the events of the battle I must confess I believed you were dead. Everyone believed the Man of Progress and his treacherous partner had died locked in battle.
But I am nothing if not a thorough investigator and it never sat right to me. Or perhaps I hoped. Your mother certainly did. It was about a year ago when a trade partner noticed a man bearing some resemblance to you buying baby formula and sweet cakes that I realized my hopes were not completely in vain. When he asked a local man, he was mostly tight-lipped but said something about two men living in a cottage together outside of the village. The words he used were “nice but eccentric” which suited the men I was searching for.
It took some time to find this address, but each detail I learned gave me a new hope. If you respond to this letter, I swear on your continued safety, please use the pseudonym to which I addressed the letter on the envelope. I must confess, I am curious to know how you convinced him to marry you.
The rest of the letter provides three years of updates, which Jayce absorbs eagerly. He doesn't miss Piltover, he realizes that wholeheartedly reading through the letter, but he still cares for the city that made him and the true progress it's making. Their mark on the city is only a memory now, and that's okay. Or it'll be okay.
He folds the letter and tucks it into his shirt for Viktor to read later, now that he knows it's safe and they're in no danger. For now, he moves back to the kitchen, making sure Viktor doesn't get distracted and burn dinner.
When Ximena takes her first steps, Jayce weeps. Adri is helping her walk by holding her chubby hands in his while Jayce works in the garden. Viktor sits near him, reading aloud for both of their amusement. Adrian called the book boring because it wasn't about lizards or frogs or solving a crime, but Jayce likes the sound of Viktor reading about anything.
It happens in an instant, Adrian letting go of her hands as she strides forward, her first uneasy steps directly into her dad's arms. Jayce catches her, holding her tiny body close. He doesn't know which of his children he's more proud of in that moment but it doesn't matter.
“Did you see that V? She walked to me!”
Viktor nods at him and smiles, wiping what must be a tear from his face.
“Now she's going to follow you relentlessly, Jayce,” Viktor teases. “I guess she does take after me in some ways.”
“Oh, have you seen the looks she gives? That's all you.”
Adrian settles in beside Viktor, not one to be out of the spotlight for long. Viktor pulls him close, playfully tickling him.
“You are an incredible big brother, Adri,” he says.
“I just want to teach her stuff.” He shrugs.
Jayce smiles over at them. He didn't have his own sister, not technically, but he remembers what it was like to have someone follow him around, seeking knowledge and guidance.
He really needs to reply to that letter.
“You better come to bed soon, Jayce,” Viktor's voice is muffled by the blankets. “There's a chill tonight.”
“The only chill is the cold feet you're about to put all over me. Just give me a second, I've been putting off writing this for too long.”
The room is mostly dark except for the desk lamp Jayce is using to write. He meant to write after dinner but then Viktor taught Adrian a card game and then it was bath time and story time and kiss on the couch time and-
Well, perhaps the last of those was self indulgent, but he did not care.
He reads over the letter once when he's content with his writing.
Dear Sprout,
Yes, it's me. The Man of Progress and his beloved partner live, rather contently, in a cottage by a stream in a remote place.
We have not left here since we were spit out with nothing but the clothes on our backs. Thankfully our skills in tinkering were able to earn us some money and an older lady let us rent the cottage she lived in during her youth. We passed a rough year, emotionally, our first year here, but I do think it was partially deserved. Or fully deserved. At the end of that year, we got married by handfasting, as is the custom of people here.
About two years back, though, we adopted a boy, Adrian, who needed a family. He's seven now and he loves to read and learn about all sorts of animals. He's a sweet and helpful boy, though I wish he'd be more selfish now and then.
A year ago we had a baby. Okay, V did most of the hard work on that. Her name is Ximena. She took her first steps today and can say five words. I'm excited to see the person she grows to become.
I've enclosed two drawings of the children as well as a photograph of the four of us, please share them and this information with my mother. I'm sorry I can't send more but photographs are expensive here and I selfishly hoard what we have.
Viktor works part time as a tutor for both adults and children. His health is the best it's been in a long while and he enjoys reading and our flower garden. We got a cat and it doesn't leave his side but I think he likes that. I do still occasionally have to beg him to come to bed because he's up working on something, but tonight he's the one grumbling about me not sleeping.
As for me, I'm well. I have set up shop as a blacksmith and find the work very rewarding. I recently acquired a dozen chickens and am trying to become as self-sustaining as possible. I miss my people, I will confess, but am so happy with my little family. A few days ago, we found out we are unexpectedly expecting another, so I'm trying to wrap my head around that reality. The last pregnancy was rough, but V is determined and the doctor seems confident that we can do this. I always did like the idea of having four or so children, but this will be the last, even though I said that about our daughter.
I hope you will write to me again and I can share more sketches. If you are ever nearby, do not be a stranger. If I never hear from you again, just know that I am a lucky man.
With love,
JT
Content with the letter, Jayce puts his pen down and turns off the light.
“The cat better not be in my spot again,” he says, carefully approaching the bed.
“It's not my fault you took too long,” Viktor retorts.
“Mm, then the cat can go into the village for every craving that hits in the next several months.”
“You wouldn't deny me.”
Jayce very gently lifts the cat, depositing him on the floor. He jumps back up to curl up by Viktor's feet.
“Gods know I can't deny you anything,” he says as he slides into bed.
“Hopefully not tonight at least.” Viktor presses into his arms.
Jayce smiles and kisses him, first missing and getting the corner of the mouth. The second time he gets it just right.