Work Text:
Ena sat in her room, trying to focus on her sketch, the pencil gliding across the page with smooth, familiar motions. But despite all her efforts, her thoughts kept drifting back to Mizuki. How they smiled, how their voice sounded with that playful, teasing tone. How they leaned in so close, their warmth barely brushing her skin.
Her chest tightened.
It wasn’t just a fleeting feeling or a random thought. It was physically tangible. A deep, painfully pulling desire. She wanted to hold their hand, press her forehead to theirs, pull them just a little closer and... Ena clenched her jaw, gripping the pencil tighter. What’s wrong with her?!
She wasn’t stupid. She understood what this meant. It wasn’t just admiration, it wasn’t just the warm feelings of a close friend. She wanted Mizuki in a way she couldn’t put into words, in a way she wouldn’t dare admit even to herself.
And it scared her.
Her fingers trembled. She could almost imagine reaching out to Mizuki, taking their hand, feeling their fingers intertwine. But as soon as that thought crossed her mind, doubt overwhelmed her.
What if they don’t want this? What if they look at me differently, if they find out? Her stomach tightened with anxiety. She needed to talk to someone. Someone who wouldn’t laugh, someone who wouldn’t turn it into a silly joke. Someone who... She thought of Tsukasa, laughing with Rui. Discussing some nonsense.
Tsukasa.
Despite all his absurdity, he understood love. He wore his heart on his sleeve, unafraid to openly show his feelings, no matter how scary they were. If anyone could help her figure this out, it was him. Ena exhaled deeply, forcing herself to push the thoughts of Mizuki away before it carried her even further.
She need to talk to him. Before she lose her mind.
—
Suddenly, Mizuki wrote in their group chat. Ena felt a sharp, unpleasant stab in her chest when she saw the message.
amia🎀:
hey!! rui and i are having a sleepover tonight! don’t miss us too much~
She threw her phone onto the bed, running a hand through her hair with an annoyed sigh.
It’s fine. It’s not important.
But it was important.
Or at least, it seemed like it was. The thought of Mizuki spending the entire night with Rui, laughing, talking, maybe sharing secrets - it triggered an uncomfortable feeling that tightened her stomach.
And the worst part? She had no reason to feel this way. Rui was just their friend. Mizuki could hang out with anyone. But still...Ena clenched her jaw.
She hates this. She hates feeling this way.
She needed to get out of her head. She needed to talk to someone.
And so, for the first time in a long while, she suppressed her usual stubbornness, grabbed her phone, and sent a message:
enanan:
are you free? want to hang out?
Tsukasa_Tenma88:
Hang out??! At this time????
enanan:
yeah. just come if u can
A few moments passed before her phone vibrated again.
Tsukasa_Tenma88:
Got it!! I’ll be at your place in 10 minutes! ☆
Ena exhaled and stuffed the phone into her pocket. Alright. At least she won’t be alone with her thoughts.
—
The night air was cool, the streets almost empty, only the occasional car passing by. Ena and Tsukasa walked side by side, their steps measured and unhurried.
Tsukasa turned his head.
"What’s going on? You never invite me to just hang out like this!"
Ena looked ahead, her hands stuffed deeper into the pockets of her hoodie.
"I just... needed some fresh air."
Tsukasa hummed thoughtfully.
"...I see." He smiled warmly, leaning slightly. "Since you invited me, does that mean something serious is going on?"
Ena rolled her eyes but didn’t deny it.
For a moment, she hesitated, not knowing where to start. Saying it out loud made it real, something she couldn’t undo. But she had already made up her mind.
She took a deep breath.
"...Mizuki."
Tsukasa raised an eyebrow.
Ena paused for a moment, then finally mumbled, "I think... I like them. I mean... really like them."
Tsukasa’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t interrupt. He just let her continue.
"And it’s not just some fleeting crush. It’s... it’s real, and I can’t handle it anymore," Ena continued, her voice tense.
"I want to be with them. I really want to be with them. And I don’t know what to do about it."
Tsukasa was silent for a moment, his usual playful smile replaced by a more thoughtful expression.
"Ah..," he finally answered, exhaling, "that's really important to you, isn't it..."
Ena snorted.
"Well, yeah."
Tsukasa smiled softly.
"I understand."
She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Of course." He grinned and tapped his chest. "It’s love! The kind that makes your heart race, the kind where you just want to be close all the time! The kind that makes you feel on top of the world one second and totally lost the next!"
Ena sighed. "You’re an idiot. But that last part is pretty accurate."
Tsukasa put his hands in his pockets. "So what’s stopping you from telling them?"
Ena hesitated.
"What if... Mizuki don’t feel the same?"
"What if they do?" Tsukasa easily countered. "You’ll never know unless you talk to them."
Ena frowned, kicking a small stone on the sidewalk.
"I just... I don’t want to ruin everything. I don’t want things to get awkward between us."
Tsukasa nodded, his expression unexpectedly understanding. "I get it. But I know Mizuki. And I see how you two are with each other. They won’t let that happen."
Ena exhaled, her shoulders relaxing a bit. "Yeah... maybe."
Tsukasa smiled again, playfully nudging her. "Besides, who wouldn’t fall for someone like you? You’re talented and awesome!"
Ena rolled her eyes, pushing him away.
"Idiot."
She shook her head, but a small smile involuntarily appeared on her lips.
—
Ena clenched her fists in her hoodie pockets as they continued walking. The cool night air did little to settle the storm inside her. No matter how much she tried to push it down, the thoughts kept creeping back in.
Mizuki and Rui are together right now. Probably laughing, joking around, maybe even staying up all night talking about things they don’t tell anyone else.
Her chest tightened painfully.
What if Mizuki’s closer to Rui than to her? What if they-
Her breath hitched, and suddenly, without warning, hot tears welled up in her eyes. She bit her lip, trying to keep them from falling, but the emotions swelled, too overwhelming to contain.
Tsukasa must have noticed because his ordinary energy immediately shifted. "Ena?"
"Damn it…"
She let out a shaky breath, quickly wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
"Hey, hey-" Tsukasa stepped in front of her, his expression softening. "What’s wrong?"
Ena sucked in a breath, but the words tumbled out before she could stop them. "I-I love them so much it hurts, Tsukasa!"
Her voice cracked, and she squeezed her eyes shut as more tears spilled over.
"And I hate this! I hate feeling like this- like I want them so badly it makes me feel sick! Like I can’t even stand the thought of them being with someone else right now!"
Tsukasa’s expression shifted in an instant. His shoulders tensed, his hands curling into fists at his sides. It wasn’t because he was annoyed or impatient.
It was because he understood.
Deeply. Completely.
"I know exactly how you feel."
Slowly, he exhaled and spoke, his voice much quieter than before.
"…You do?"
Ena sniffed, looking up at him, her vision blurred with tears.
Tsukasa nodded, his usual dramatic energy gone.
"Yeah." He let out a weak chuckle. "You think it doesn’t kill me knowing Rui’s over there right now? With Mizuki? Spending time with them, talking, laughing, maybe even sleeping next to them?"
He swallowed, his own voice shaking slightly. "It makes me feel like I’m losing my mind."
Ena stared at him, stunned. She had always known Tsukasa was loud about his feelings, but this- this raw honesty, this pain... it was different.
Tsukasa's lips curled into a bitter smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes, as if the weight of his words had left him exhausted. The corners of his mouth twitched, betraying a trace of frustration, and he shifted uncomfortably on the bench.
"It’s stupid, huh? Rui isn’t mine. I don’t have any right to feel this way. But that doesn’t stop my heart from clenching every time I think about him being with someone else instead of me." Tsukasa’s voice was filled with quiet bitterness, the weight of his words hanging in the air. His eyes remained fixed on the ground, not daring to meet Ena’s gaze, as if afraid that the depth of his feelings might show too clearly.
Ena let out a shaky breath, her own heart aching as she absorbed his words. "Yeah…" she whispered, her voice barely above a breath, thick with the unspoken pain. "It hurts so much…" Her words were soft, but they carried the weight of a thousand unshed tears. She could feel the rawness of Tsukasa’s confession resonate within her, as if his pain was somehow echoing her own.
Tsukasa let out a small, almost bitter laugh, the sound a mixture of frustration and resignation. He wiped his eyes quickly, the motion more out of habit than actual need, as if trying to brush away the weight of the moment. "Guess we’re both idiots in love, huh?" he said, his voice cracking slightly, but there was a soft humor in it too, as if he was trying to make light of the situation.
Ena, wiping away the tears that had been threatening to spill, let out a weak chuckle that sounded more like a broken sigh. It was shaky and fragile, but it carried a truth she couldn’t deny. "Yeah… idiots," she murmured, her voice still thick with emotion, but she couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled out despite herself.
Tsukasa, feeling the shared heaviness between them, reached out, his hand gently landing on her head, ruffling her hair in a comforting, almost affectionate gesture. It was an attempt to lighten the mood, to give her something else to focus on, even if just for a moment.
"But hey, at least we’re in this together," he said, his voice softening. His words were simple, but they carried a deep understanding, a shared bond in their mutual pain.
Ena sniffled, trying to control the tears that still threatened to spill, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. Her expression softened as she met Tsukasa’s eyes, a faint glimmer of something more hopeful there, despite the pain. "Together, huh?"
"Yes!" Tsukasa’s grin was bright and playful, a clear attempt to shift the mood, to add some humor into the otherwise heavy atmosphere. "The ‘Idiots in love and suffering club’ is officially formed!!! You and me, dear Ena, honorary members!" His tone was exaggerated, trying to turn the shared misery into something a little lighter, something they could laugh at together.
Ena couldn’t help herself—she scoffed, rolling her eyes in mock exasperation. It was a reflex, the way she dismissed his attempt at humor, but the slight upturn of her lips betrayed the warmth she felt in that moment. "That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard," she muttered, though the words lacked their usual bite.
"And yet," Tsukasa grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief, "you’re not rejecting it!"
She shook her head but didn’t argue. Instead, she just let out a deep breath, her heart still aching, but the weight on her shoulders feeling just a little bit lighter.
—
They found a quiet bench in the park, away from the streets and the noise of the city. The soft rustling of leaves in the trees filled the air, creating a calm backdrop for the weight of their conversation. Ena sat down first, her hands slightly trembling as she folded them on her lap.
Tsukasa joined her, sitting down with a small sigh. The tension that had been there earlier had eased a little, but a quiet ache still lingered between them. Neither of them spoke for several minutes, both lost in their own thoughts.
Then Tsukasa broke the silence, his voice softer than usual.
"You know... it's strange how much I love Rui. He’s always been there, I care about him more than anyone else, but sometimes it feels like it’s... not enough. Like I can’t do anything to make him see me the way I see him."
He murmured, his words barely audible over the whispering wind. Tsukasa looked down at his hands, lost in the motion, trying to steady the storm of feelings swirling inside him.
"I just... I’m probably scared. Scared of losing him, or that someone will show him something I can’t."
Ena nodded, her gaze following his movements. "I get it... It’s like, no matter how hard you try, you’re always one step behind."
She looked up at the sky, her voice softening.
"Mizuki is... everything to me. I couldn’t have imagined feeling this way about someone. But every time I see them with someone else, especially with Rui, it feels like my heart is breaking. And the worst part? I feel so selfish. I know they’re not mine, but it doesn’t stop these feelings."
She paused for a moment, trying to hold back a new wave of tears.
Tsukasa looked at her, a rare softness appearing on his face. Without a word, he shifted closer to her and, in one smooth motion, laid his head on her shoulder.
Ena froze for a moment, surprised by the closeness of the gesture. Tsukasa, despite his bold, almost reckless exterior, had always been a source of comfort for her. And now, his weight resting gently on her shoulder felt strangely right.
"Hey," Tsukasa mumbled, his voice muffled by fabric. "I get it, Ena. You’re not alone in this. I might not show it very well, but... I think about Rui constantly. I want him to notice me, to see me, but... sometimes I feel like I’m invisible."
Ena swallowed, trying to push the lump in her throat away, her heart tightening. She carefully shifted, her hand resting on his, squeezing it in a gesture of support.
"I think you’re a lot more noticeable than you think, Tsukasa," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
"You’re not invisible. Not to me. And not to Rui either."
Tsukasa chuckled softly, his head still resting on her shoulder. "You always say the right thing, Ena."
He sighed, his breath warm against her hand.
"I’m glad we can talk about this. It’s nice to have someone who understands... someone who’s going through this with me."
Ena felt the corners of her mouth lift slightly, and she relaxed, although the weight of her emotions hadn’t disappeared, it felt a little lighter. She gently turned her head, looking at Tsukasa.
"You’re not alone in this, Tsukasa. I’m with you."
They sat in quiet silence for several minutes, the world around them seeming a little more bearable, a little more forgiving. There was no simple solution to their feelings for Rui and Mizuki, but in that moment, they both knew they wouldn’t have to face it alone.
And strangely, that was enough.