Lost and Found

by Anyamaris

Summary:

A new friendship from a night out with friends slowly becomes something more as you try to move on from being ghosted.

The knocking has been going on for a bit now, and you’ve done your best to ignore it.

 

“Damn it, Wooyoung, I don’t want visitors…” you grumble, looking around for your earbuds to drown out the noise.

 

Persistent little shit , you think, sighing as another set of knocks has you pursing your lips.

 

What about my neighbors?

 

You close your eyes in defeat as you set down the earbuds, padding over to the door to peek out angrily.

 

“Wooyoung, I told you-” the words are out of your mouth as you open the door, but you are startled at the person on the other side.

 

Those sneaky bastards , you curse, unable to not melt at the sight of Jungkook’s doe eyes, wide and concerned as he takes in your current state.

 

It’s been a few weeks since you’ve ventured out for anything more than work, and even then you avoided the area where Hoseok’s face was plastered.

 

You’ve also discovered the lovely world of online grocery delivery.

 

You used to love going out to browse and shop, but here you are, just a pathetic hand darting out to snatch your bags from the hall after the delivery person’s left them for you.

 

You can’t even imagine what your neighbors think if they’ve seen this behavior; you normally have a conversation with a random neighbor at least four times a week.

 

Shame fills you as Jungkook’s eyes rake over you, and you subconsciously tug your robe around yourself.  

 

His gaze flicks to the state of your apartment and you resist the urge to slam the door in his face to hide it from him.

 

While it’s not completely trashed, you’ve been far too miserable to keep up on things and clothes and blankets were tossed haphazardly all over, blinds drawn and you had a few dishes starting to pile up.

 

“We’re all worried about you..” he starts, forgoing any proper greeting as he pushes the door fully open to face you fully.  

 

“Jungkook…hi.” you respond sheepishly, brushing a hand over your hair that is currently thrown up in some semblance of a bird's nest. 

“HI? That’s it? You haven’t responded to group messages, or any texts we’ve sent you.  I don’t know what’s going on, but…” he lets his words trail off as you wrap your arms around yourself and look away.

 

“I’m coming in.” he says, brushing past you, and you don’t have the energy to protest.

 

You shut the door, then set about tidying up hurriedly as he looks around for somewhere to sit.

 

“Sorry for the mess, Kookie.  Would you like something to drink?” you ask him as you grab a blanket and start folding it.

 

He waves a hand at your offer, taking a seat where you’ve cleared a space on the couch.  

 

“You’re avoiding my questions. Are you alright?” he finally asks as you busy yourself folding things and picking up a bit.  

 

“Oh I’m fine, I’ve just been really busy with writing.” You reassure him.

 

You aren’t lying, not really .

 

You have been channeling all of your energy into your current project outside of editing work.

 

It’s the best outlet for the confusing emotions pent up within you, your only real relief since you don’t have any answers.

 

“Just writing? Is that really it?” He raises an eyebrow.

 

You soften at his concern, halting your cleaning to sit beside him and take his hand in yours.

 

“I promise, Jungkook.  I’ve buried myself in fiction over the last few weeks, it can sometimes get all consuming.  You really don’t need to be worried about me.”

 

He studies you for a moment, then seems to relax slightly, apparently wanting to believe you.

 

“Can you…at least take a shower?” He asks softly, cheeks tinting at the request.

 

You wince and make a disgusted face, pulling away from him.

 

Oh god, you stink, don’t you?

 

Ugh.

 

“Yeah…sorry Jungkook…I guess I have been really distracted…” you mutter, embarrassed as you tug your sweater around you tightly.

“Don’t apologize, though you’ve definitely smelled better….” he teases, and you stand quickly to distance yourself from him in shame.

 

“I wasn’t expecting visitors…” you mumble in way of an excuse.

 

“Well, I’m sorry to stop by, and I’d say unannounced but you’re the one ignoring all of us. Of course we’re concerned about you.  Wooyoung has everyone convinced that you have some secret boyfriend who’s treating you badly.”  He admits, his eyes darkening as they narrow at you.

 

You freeze, cursing the loud mouth before shaking your head to diffuse the look on Jungkook’s face.

 

“No, no…no boyfriend…” 

 

It’s not a lie.

 

“No one is treating me badly.”

 

Definitely the truth-he’s just…gone.

 

Still, you feel a tingle of guilt at not telling him that there is something going on.

 

Yes, it’s your personal life but you are acting strangely, at least from the outside. 

 

Anyone would be worried; you sure as hell would be if any of them started doing what you’ve been doing.

 

It’s ridiculous really…

 

You’re acting as if there’s been some horrible breakup with a person you were dating; in reality the guy who you randomly slept with got tired of you and ghosted you.

 

Shouldn’t be a big deal.

 

You should have more self respect than to let your world fall apart around you and become a complete mess over something so stupid.

 

Jungkook stands, his smile coming back after hearing that from you personally.  

 

“Good, then…why don’t you come out with us tonight?  Our friend is having another show and since you missed the last one-”

 

“Uhh…I don’t know…” You murmur, not sure if you’re interested in being out socially right now, even if you definitely need to yank yourself out of this self pity by the scruff of your neck.

 

“Come on…I’d really like it if you did…for me?” he pleads, turning those big dark eyes on you.

 

Little bastard, you think fondly as you immediately melt under that look.

 

“That’s low, Jungkook, you know I can’t resist-” 

 

He grabs your hands, puffing out his lower lip as he swings your arms back and forth, dipping his head to give you the full power of his adorable little act.

 

“FINE! Fine…fine…” you grumble, pursing your lips at him as you yank your hands away and turn to go take a shower.

 

“I’m not leaving until you’re ready, the show starts in a few hours.  We can start early at the club!”  you hear him call out as you shut the door to your room behind you.

 

You don’t get to see the smug little grin that creeps over his face as he makes himself comfortable, but you definitely know it’s there.

 

“Damn it..” you grump, busying yourself with finding something to wear before going to clean up.

 

Maybe if you humor them with this, it'll buy you some more alone time to get your wits back, because as much as their pestering care is frustrating, you know that it’s not healthy to be like this.

 

The toll this has taken on your confidence has been fairly significant given that there isn’t any resolution or closure.

 

Did you do something wrong to make him just … stop?

 

Was it something going on with him…or was it you?

 

Perhaps it would be easier if he’d just told you to fuck off, instead of this…limbo.

 

You take in a deep breath as you survey your closet, sparing a glance at the necklace that is now dangling from your bedside lamp.

 

As upset as you’ve been, it was no reason to leave something of his laying on the floor in a heap.

 

When and if he finally shows up to retrieve it, you want to be able to hand it back to him and shut the door on that tiny inconsequential part of your life.

 

You need to stop dwelling on things out of your control, and stop beating yourself up for something that was likely never meant to work out.

 

It’s time to pick yourself up and dust off, you’re better than this, you chastise yourself as you make your way to the shower.

 

“Look who came!” Jungkook announces as he leads you into the mostly empty club.

 

Music is playing over the speakers, and you spot the bartender prepping for the night ahead before noticing the crew setting up the stage for the performance.

 

You bite back annoyance as the guys jostle Jungkook happily, congratulating him on his ability to drag you out.  

 

“Rude to use your secret weapon on me like that.” You tell Jimin as he comes over to give you a hug.

 

“Hey, what else did you expect? Are we supposed to just let you rot away with your nose pressed to your screen?” he ruffles your hair and you swat him away, but you can’t help but give him a little cheek pinch in return.

 

“So you’ve got a good one going, eh?” Tae asks, opening his arms for his own hug.

 

“Yeah...it’s going.” you offer as you let him pull you into an embrace before being replaced by Wooyoung.

 

“Can it, loser,” you say affectionately as he gives you a suspicious look.  

 

He just huffs at you before releasing you, but you smile at the way he seems to relax as he looks you over.

 

“For tonight, I won’t pry.” he whispers before patting you on the shoulder.

 

Before long, you’re joining them at the table, which is in a perfect spot to watch the stage without any obstacles.

 

It’s obvious that they picked this purposefully, and you finally ask them about their friend who is performing.

 

“Seokjin?  He’s got an amazing voice.  We met him last year when Yoongi brought us to a show.  Do you remember Yoongi?” Jungkook asks, and you think for a moment, then nod.

 

You smile at the memory of the few times you’ve been around the stoic man, and the way his barbed teasing delighted you when it was directed at these menaces.

 

It was fun to see someone beat these guys at their own game and you’d enjoyed it fully.

 

“Of course, I remember.  It’s been awhile though.”  You respond.

 

“Yeah he’s been working with Jin a lot on his music; he’s actually going to be playing guitar for him tonight.”  Jimin offers.

 

“Cool, then I look forward to it.” You gladly accept a drink a server brings over to you, laughing as everyone grabs for the beer before starting to argue about who gets to pour.

 

Always a circus , you think, sipping the cocktail one of them must have ordered for you, given that it’s your favorite.

 

“Just don’t fall in love tonight, okay?” Tae nudges you, causing the others to snort.

 

Raising an eyebrow, you just turn to eye them suspiciously.

 

“What does that mean?” you ask, setting your drink down.

 

“If someone asks, I didn’t say it but he’s definitely handsome. Like, in the last show there were women just flocking to the stage and the bouncers had to remove a few people that were trying to harass him.” Jimin says, shaking his head.

 

“It’s fucking creepy,” Wooyoung adds, and you raise an eyebrow.

 

“No kidding, I don’t care how hot someone is, what the hell?” you wrinkle your nose in disgust at the thought.

 

They raise their glasses, and you join in, shaking your head and wondering what kind of chaos will greet you tonight.

 

“He’s single though.” Wooyoung offers with a wink after taking a long drink from his beer.  

 

“Yeah and?” you respond, rolling your eyes. “You’re all single too, as am I.  What does that have to do with anything?”

 

Taehyung just snorts, waving a hand as he chokes on his drink.  

 

“Oh sure, that sounds fun, you’ll have his little fangirls egging you on your way into shows.” Jimin says, patting Tae on the back.

 

“The last thing I need is you all playing matchmaker.” You point at them one by one, narrowing your eyes.

 

“I think you’d look cute together.” Jungkook chimes in with an innocent smile, earning himself a pinch on the cheek as you give him a little fake snarl.

 

“I’m perfectly happy with my quiet, peaceful, single life writing.  Don’t make me regret leaving my little cave.” you threaten and they just mumble their agreements.

 

You tamp down the lingering thoughts of Hoseok that try to worm their way in and just enjoy spending some time with your friends.

 

By the time the people have set up the stage, people have started filling the little club and you can’t help but notice the crowd of females gathered at the foot of the stage.

 

You’d thought maybe Jimin had been joking, but the way they are giggling and gesturing has you even more curious.

 

You’re only half listening to the guys talk about random other friends and what’s been going on with them as you sip your water.

 

They’d tried to order you another drink, but you didn’t think it was a good idea to have too many back to back with how little you’ve been going out lately.

 

Especially with these four…the last thing you need is to get super drunk and emotional and start blubbering about a non existent one sided relationship.

 

What a fucking nightmare that would be , you think as you nod along to their banter.

 

Yeah, better to just let it pass and ignore that it ever happened instead of dealing with the questions from these guys.  

 

“Did you hear me? San called the other day.  I know you used to have such a crush on him-” Wooyoung says, drawing your attention.

 

You let out an annoyed sigh, “Wooyoung, I never had a crush on San.  He’s just a sweetheart and a gentleman, unlike some people I know…” 

 

He merely waves off your comment before continuing to talk about everyone’s lives and achievements, families and such.  

 

Jungkook nudges your shoulder as he shares a look with you, and you just laugh as he rolls his eyes.  

 

Maybe it had been a good idea to come out, as you’re starting to enjoy yourself, you think.

 

Suddenly the lights are dimming as the music over the speakers comes to a halt.

 

Loud screams reverberate through the club as two figures walk out onto the small stage and you turn your attention to the show.

 

The stage is small, but everyone’s eyes are drawn towards it as two men take their places.

 

The sound coming out of the girls crowding the stage shocks you, the sudden high pitched screams causing you to flinch as your eyes go wide watching them have little mini meltdowns.

 

Goodness, imagine having a man make you lose your mind that way, you think, almost envious.

 

Your gaze wanders to the two men taking the stage, recognizing Yoongi right away as he sits on a stool and tunes his guitar.

 

Handsome as always, you think, liking how he’s grown out his hair so it’s brushing his shoulders.

 

The setup is very simple, like a small busking session and you smile at how comfy it feels.

 

Finally you turn your attention to the main attraction, who is currently thanking everyone for coming and giving a little intro.  

 

He appears to be tall, though from here it was hard to tell, lean, and you can’t help but admit that the man is ridiculously handsome.  

 

His dark hair is swept back over his brow, little strands hanging down a face that seems to have been carved by angels.

 

It’s no surprise why he draws such a following , you think, admiring the way his full lips move as he speaks.  

 

You’d kind of expected a bit of an ego, given the way the crowd of girls was acting, but you can’t help but note a hint of anxiety and nerves in those dark brown eyes.  

 

Jungkook nudges your shoulder with his own as you study the man they've all been talking about.

 

“See? Told you.” He teases, wiggling his eyebrows at you. 

 

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him as he grins at you.

 

“You’re just as handsome, Kookie.” You tell him pinching his cheek again, giving an extra squeeze as his eyes widen in delight and he seems to sit up a bit straighter.

 

You laugh while the others make booing noises and Jungkook dramatically pretends to flip his hair back, preening like a peacock.

 

You shake your head and turn back to the show as the music starts.  

 

Yoongi starts playing his guitar, then your eyes are drawn back to the main attraction.

 

Once he starts singing, he seems like he’s lost in his own world, his eyes looking off into the crowd as his melodic voice washes over you like a dream.

 

Well, it’s obvious that it’s not just his looks that draws people here, leaning back and enjoying the show.  

 

The set is a variety of songs, and you have to say you are actually enjoying yourself.

 

In between songs, the guys all talk and order more drinks, and you ignore them mostly as you just let the music comfort you.

 

They may joke about how you’re going to fall for this man you don’t know, but each time your thoughts are immediately drawn back to Hoseok.

 

You curse your brain for not just erasing him from your memory, as it just serves to remind you of the painful reality.

 

He’s gone.

 

You’re moving on.

 

Shaking yourself from your thoughts, you smile and clap as the show ends, snapping back into the moment as both men stand and wave at the crowd before leaving the stage.

 

The music from the speakers resumes as people begin to move back through the bar, some leaving, some going to socialize.  

 

You can’t help but eye the lingering women around the stage, wondering what it’s like to have so many fans wanting to swarm you.

 

Seems tiring , you think, turning back to the guys as they start to chat.

 

“We should probably move venues.” Taehyung says, pulling out his phone.

 

Wooyoung finishes his drink, and the rest follow suit.  

 

You just have your water, so you push it to the side as you stand up.

 

“Maybe I should head home-” You start to say, but Jimin is beside you, hand on your arm as he guides you to the doors. 

 

“In your dreams, you’re not getting out of tonight that easily.  We had to send in Jungkook just to get you to come out.”

 

You let out a long sigh and give him an overdramatic pout.

 

He merely laughs at you, his eyes crinkling as he shakes his head.

 

“Won’t work, sweetheart, we’re determined.” Taehyung says, “Jin said he and Yoongi will meet us over at The Pine in thirty.”

 

You relax at the mention of the small tavern, knowing the vibe there is much more relaxed and quiet.

 

Jimin notices the change and lets go of your arm, patting your back, “Thought you’d like that.”

 

“Jerks.” You say, but they laugh as they sense the affection in your words.

 

“Yeah yeah, I’ll buy your drinks, how’s that?” Wooyoung offers as he walks beside you.

 

“That was already my plan.” You tease and he just bumps your arm playfully.

 

It only takes about ten minutes to walk over, and you enjoy the familiar banter with your friends as you shiver in the cold.

 

It feels like winter has lasted forever this year, but perhaps it’s because of everything that’s happened over the last few months.  

 

Time has seemed to stretch and condense at the same time while you were hiding yourself away with your writing.

 

At least something came out of it, you think, finding comfort in knowing that you were able to redirect your emotions into your work.

 

You are pulled from your thoughts as you near the familiar bar, thanking Jimin as he opens the door to let you head inside.

 

You smile and wave at the bartender as she notices your arrival, and you find yourself relaxing even more at the all but empty place.  

 

The multitude of times you’d frequented the place makes you smile knowing that it’s an entirely different vibe from the club you’d left.

 

This is a much better spot, especially for Yoongi and Jin, given the absence of screaming women.

 

You wander over to the big table in the corner, settling in as Wooyoung and Jungkook go to get drinks.

 

“So, what did you think?” Tae asks, sliding in beside you.

 

You eye Taehyung next to you, then Jimin as he takes a seat across from you.

 

“It was amazing, he has an amazing voice.  And I wasn’t aware that Yoongi was that talented on the guitar.  Quite the show.  I could have done without the ear shattering screaming from the fangirls, but it’s nice to know he’s appreciated.”

 

Jimin seems mildly disappointed at your answer and you can’t help but snort as you roll your eyes.

 

Tae just smirks at him before looking at you, “So, didn’t fall in love at first sight?” 

 

“You guys, I swear…what’s with trying to get me together with this guy? I haven’t even met him.” 

 

Jungkook overhears and sets a glass in front of you before pouring a beer from the pitcher in his hand.  

 

“You haven’t been with anyone in the longest time…we just don’t want you to hide away.  Plus…it would be nice to see you with someone we all like.”  

 

You wince at his words, looking away as thoughts of Hoseok suddenly start poking holes in your sanity.  

 

Swallowing back the memories and his intrusively handsome face, you pat Jungkook’s arm and pick your glass up to chase away the bitter taste of your recent past.

 

Finally you let out a sigh and reply, “I get it, you guys, but really…I haven’t even met him.  It’s not like I’m going to just fall for a man over a pretty face.”

 

Not this time, anyhow.

 

“You all have pretty faces and I haven’t fallen for any of you.” You follow up, sticking out your tongue at them.

 

Wooyoung just grins, winking at you.

 

“It’s true…she’s got some serious willpower.” Jimin raises his glass as he grins, and everyone laughs.

 

Grateful for the humor, you lean back and discuss the show a little before the little bell over the door chimes.

 

“Finally! It’s been more than thirty!” Tae calls out, and your attention is drawn to the two men walking in.

 

Yoongi makes a face at him and grumbles something about impatience, and you can’t help but admire the two men as they come over to sit down with you.

 

I really must have some willpower, you think with an inward smile, looking at the gorgeous men surrounding you.

 

But they aren’t him-

 

Shut it, brain.

 

You study Jin as he walks in behind Yoongi, his eyes darting around the small place and you sense a little bit of nerves from him.  

 

Maybe you are just imagining it, thinking back to the show and how his eyes looked as he stared into the crowd.

 

Probably just projecting, you think to yourself.

 

The guys make room for them at the table, and Yoongi slips in on your other side, Jin sitting across with Jimin and Wooyoung.

 

Jimin jumps immediately on introductions, quickly getting it out of the way before pouring drinks for the two newcomers.

 

“Nice to meet you.” You say to Jin, smiling.

 

He gives you a tentative smile, bobbing his head before accepting the drink.  

 

“You as well.”

 

His eyes dart away quickly and Jimin nudges him, earning him a small slap from Jin.

 

“It’s been awhile, have you been well?” Yoongi asks, turning to smile at you.  

 

You open your mouth to say something, but Wooyoung pipes up before you can respond.

 

“No, she’s been locking herself away, writing.  Not showering.  Stinking.”

 

Before you can think, you go to kick him under the table, but instead of connecting with Wooyoung’s calf, you're stunned to hear Jin cry out in pain.

 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” You cover your mouth in horror at your mistake as everyone at the table erupts into laughter.

 

His face is contorted in pain as he leans over and rubs his leg, holding up his other hand as Wooyoung cackles in delight.

 

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it…ouch…” Jin says, and you bite your lip in shame at your blunder.

 

“I swear to everything, Wooyoung-” You start and Wooyoung only sticks out his tongue at you.

 

“Wait…wait-” Jin says, holding up his hands as he turns away, “Yoongi, switch seats with me-”

 

“Hell no.” Yoongi grins, leaning back and enjoying the show.

 

“She’s got a hell of a kick, eh?” Jimin asks Jin.

 

Jin’s eyes dart to you, and you grimace in sympathy for him.

 

“Sounds like she’s had a reason to kick all of you.” Yoongi says, nonchalantly taking a sip of his beer.

 

“Very valid reasons…” You mutter, but you mouth an ‘I’m sorry’ to Jin as he looks at you.

 

You’ve just met the poor man and he’s likely already planning on never being around you again.

 

“I mean, Wooyoung isn’t wrong, when I went to see her today, she-” Jungkook teases, bringing the conversation back to that.

 

“Kookie!” You gasp at him, not expecting him to taunt you too.

 

He sends you a little wink, and lucky for him, he’s out of reach.

 

You just lean back and huff, “I’ve been working.  Nothing wrong with working from home, you all make it sound like I’m some hermit.  Anyhow, I’ve been fine, Yoongi.  It has been a while. You’ve been well?”

 

Yoongi just smirks at your attempt to change the topic and he raises his glass, nodding.  

 

“As good as I ever am, nose to the grindstone.”  

 

“Your performance tonight was great, by the way.” You mention, sparing a glance at Jin as well, who nods.  

 

He appears to be rubbing his leg still.

 

I’ll kick Wooyoung’s ass later , you think as a twinge of guilt rushes through you.

 

The conversation moves on, and you sit back to observe, pleased at the distraction of your friends.

 

You hate to admit it, but it’s much better than wallowing away in your own thoughts.

 

Much to your surprise, Jin’s demeanor is completely different than you expected it to be.

 

His horrible jokes have you laughing along with him as everyone groans at him, and the first time he laughs you find yourself completely fascinated how someone with such a gorgeous face can cackle like a hyena.  

 

You find it quite charming, actually.

 

It makes sense now why they all hang out together, and you’re surprised you’ve never met him before.

 

Probably because you do hide away too much , a voice reminds you before you tell it to quiet down.

 

By the end of the night, everyone's a little tipsy as they disperse to walk or take cabs home.

 

“Promise you’ll at least answer if we message or call from now on?” Jungkook asks, and you can’t deny those big brown eyes.

 

You sigh and nod, giving him a hug before turning to walk home.

 

“Hey...Jin…you live near her, you should walk her home.” Jimin says, giving you a cheeky little grin.

 

“I do?” He asks, tilting his head at you.

 

You shoot Jimin a look before turning to Jin, telling him your general address.

 

His eyes light up and he nods, “Yeah, I’m near there.” 

 

Before you can respond, Taehyung and Jimin are disappearing into a taxi, calling out for you to be safe.  

 

Wooyoung, Yoongi and Jungkook are walking off in different directions.

 

“I guess we are heading the same way then.” You tell Jin, turning to give him a tentative smile.

 

“Under one condition.” He says, his face almost stern.

 

“Um…okay?” You say, curious.

 

“Promise to not kick me…?”

 

You can’t help covering your face with your hands, embarrassed from the reminder.

 

“I promise…oh my god, I’m so sorry-”

 

His laugh has you peeking out between your fingers as he shakes his head.

 

“Come on, I’m teasing.  It’s fine, I will only limp for about a week.” He says, and you can’t help but snicker at his horrible attempt at pretending to do so.

 

You let out a long sigh as you both start walking normally in the direction of your homes, shaking your head.

 

“I really am sorry, you can kick me if it makes you feel better.”

 

He stops, crossing his arms, causing you to halt as well.

 

“Alright.”

 

You look at him stunned, wondering if he’s actually serious.  

 

Then he lets out another laugh, slapping his leg.

 

“You think I’d actually kick you?” He grins before turning to keep walking.

 

It takes you a moment before you’re walking along beside him, shaking your head.  “I’d deserve it.  I’ll have to buy you a coffee or a beer or something sometime to make it up to you.”

 

“Deal.” He says, smiling at you.  “Do you always offer repayment after kicking someone?”

“Hell no, never.” You snort, and he beams happily at you.

 

God, he really is handsome.

 

“Well then I’m honored.  Maybe I’ll let you kick me again if it gets me perks.”

 

You start laughing so hard that you have to stop and catch your breath.

 

He just laughs along with you while you recover before continuing on.

 

The walk home goes faster than you expect and a little voice deep down grumbles in protest.

 

You are enjoying his company a little more than you’d expected.

 

No. Nope. Nu-uh .

 

Pushing away that train of thought, you point to the building you reside in.  

 

“That’s me.” You tell him, looking over at him.

 

He nods, pulling a hand out of his pocket to point across the street and a few buildings closer.

 

“Me.”

 

“Oh wow, we really are close. Surprised I haven’t run into you before.”  You tell him.

 

“I tend to stay in too, honestly.  Outside of shows, I’m more of a homebody.” He shrugs, stuffing his hands back in his pockets.

 

“So you’re not going to make fun of me for being a hermit too?” You ask him, giving him a little smile.

 

He shakes his head, shrugging as he looks off into the distance, “Nah, I get it.  Crowds tend to make me a bit anxious.”

 

So it wasn’t my imagination , you muse.

 

“What’s that look?” He questions, and you realize your face is giving away your reaction.

 

“Oh, sorry…I just thought being a performer that you’d love the attention and crowds, or at least be used to it.”

 

He purses his lips in thought, “Hmm…you’d think so but I still struggle a little bit.  Luckily, when I start singing I can get lost in the music and it helps.”

 

Makes sense, you think, recalling the show.

 

You come to halt as you realize his building is right across the street, drawing his attention.

 

“That’s you.” You point and he glances at his building before turning back to you.

 

“I’ll walk you to your place.” He says, gesturing for you to continue.

 

“It’s okay, really.”

 

His face twists up and gestures again, “I won’t feel right unless I see you go into your building, so humor me?” 

 

Your heart skips a beat at his offer and you can only nod and continue walking to your place.

 

Silence falls between you as you close the short distance to your building, but it’s not uncomfortable.

 

“Thank you,” you say as you approach your doors.

 

“You’re welcome, it’s my pleasure.  It was nice to have company on the way back.”  He tells you, glancing up at the building as you open the doors to go inside. 

 

“It was really nice meeting you, Jin.” You say, raising a hand to wave at him.

 

“It was nice to meet you too.” He says, walking backwards a few steps as you turn to go inside.  

 

Before you close the doors, you look back at him and he raises a hand back to you before calling out, “I’ll look forward to seeing you again at another show, maybe?”

 

“Definitely.” You respond and he gives you a quick nod, putting his hands in his pockets before he turns and sprints off to his own building.

 

The doors shut between you and you watch him run off for a moment before turning to go upstairs.

 

What a nice guy , you think as you make your way into your place.

 

Really nice.

 

You curse at yourself, then realize that you haven’t thought about Hoseok for a bit.

 

Of course the moment you realize it, you’re immediately thinking about him again.

 

Now you’re cursing for an entirely different reason.

Oh shut up and go to bed, you chastise your brain, flopping into bed after cleaning up and tossing on some pjs.

 

Still …you find yourself opening those messages to see if anything’s changed.

 

Still no response. 

 

Still unread.

 

You toss your phone and close your eyes, hoping tomorrow that you’ll forget.

Fortunately, the next few days fly by as you get caught up on some projects that you’ve been neglecting for your own writing.

 

Being busy helps keep your weary mind from dwelling too much, but the downside is that you’ve had to venture out almost every day for meet ups and appointments.

 

You push open the door of your favorite coffee shop and make your way to the counter, trying to decide whether to stick with your norm or try something new.

 

As you share greetings with the barista and place your normal order, a familiar voice calls out your name.  

 

“I’ll get hers.” 

 

Before you realize it, Jin is next to you, paying the barista before you can protest.

 

Your mouth opens to argue, but his warm smile just has you stuttering out a hello.

 

It’s odd how you hadn’t realized last night when he was walking you home how tall he is, or how broad his shoulders are.

 

It doesn’t hurt that the dark leather jacket helps to enhance it.

 

“Well that’s just unfair, you caught me off guard.” you complain, and he just shrugs.

 

You notice he’s holding his own coffee already.

 

“It’s for keeping me company on the walk home the other day.” 

 

You can’t complain, and just nod to him, accepting the kind gesture.

 

“Thank you…but now I owe you two drinks.” 

 

He grins at your feigned frustration, “Maybe I’m just storing them up so I have a stockpile for later.”

 

Your laughter makes his eyes crinkle with delight and you find yourself wondering what kind of guy he really is.

 

So far, he’s been a confusing mix of dorky and awkward in the most appealing ways, and that contrasts so much with his outward appearance.

 

Quite fascinating, you think, raising your drink to him before taking a sip. 

 

“Well don’t use them all at once or I’ll go broke.”  you tease.

 

“I’m not promising anything.” He shoots back with a smirk.

 

Cheeky little …no wonder he’s friends with all the guys.

 

He tilts his head at you, seeming to study you.  

 

“What? Do I have snot on my face or something?” You ask him, playfully wiping at your face.

 

“Yeah, right…there-” He points, making a face.

 

You try to cover your smile with your drink as you look away, enjoying his banter far too much.

 

He gestures to a table, “Would you like to sit? I have time before I have to go to the studio later, and I was just going to hang out here for a bit…I really wouldn’t mind the company?”

 

You eye the table, then look at him, taking a moment to think about it.

 

You really had planned on going right back home today and loafing around like a bum, but…it didn’t hurt to be a bit more social.

 

“Unless you are busy-”

 

“No,” You interrupt, walking over to the table he picked out, “I have plenty of time.  Plus, you can tell the others that I was seen outside.” 

 

He rushes over to pull out your chair, and you blink, not expecting it. 

 

“Oh…thank you.”  

 

He just gives you a smile as you sit, then he goes to take his own seat.

 

“Of course. So...they mentioned the other night that you’re a writer?”

 

“Mm..yes, I am technically an editor for other writers, but I am writing on my own time.  I’m not published yet, but I’m working on a novel. So I don’t know if I’d be called a “writer” just yet.”

 

You finish your explanation and blush, wondering if you sound like you’re rambling to him.

 

He doesn’t seem to be put off, nodding along as you speak.

 

“Ah…what are you writing, if that’s not too invasive?” He asks, taking a sip of his drink as he leans forward to listen.

 

His inquisitiveness is refreshing, and you find yourself talking about the book you’ve been working on.

 

The conversation moves on to him and his music, and it’s as if you’ve been friends for ages instead of just meeting for the second time.  

 

At one point, you’ve both drained your coffees and you manage to buy the drinks this time.

 

It’s as if there’s a time slip as you chat, and when you go to take a sip of your coffee, you look down in dismay that you’ve already drained this one as well.

 

His phone chimes, interrupting him and his eyes widen in surprise as he reads his message.

 

“Sorry, one moment-” He says, typing back to someone.

 

Your eyes are drawn to the window beside you and you blink as you watch the sky turn a dusky pink as the sun sets.

What the hell time was it?

 

You realize that you've been talking for hours, and it explains his reaction as well.

 

“I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to be rude-” He apologizes, but you hold up a hand.

 

“Don’t worry, we’ve talked a lot longer than I realized, I should be apologizing!” 

 

“No, I’ve really enjoyed it...but I do need to go, that was my friend at the studio wondering where I am…” He sheepishly rubs the back of his head with a little awkward smile.

 

“Oh my goodness!” You exclaim as you push back your chair to stand.

 

He rises to his feet as well, twisting his lips as he looks out at the setting sun.  

 

“Well, it was nice talking to you again...I guess we may run into each other again?” You say to him as he turns back to you.

 

“Yeah…” He hums, tucking his phone in his pocket as you go deposit your empty cup in the recycles.

 

He follows as you head towards the door, slipping behind you to push it open for you.

 

“Thanks,” You smile at him.

 

“Hey-” he says, halting you before you can bid him goodbye.

 

“Hm?” You look at him curiously as he toes the ground and looks off down the street.

 

“Would you…be okay exchanging numbers?” He asks, his eyes finally settling back on you.

 

Is he suddenly feeling shy? You can’t be certain…nothing is really what you expect from this man.

 

His request has you fumbling with words for a moment, though you’re not sure why.

 

It’s just a number.

 

“Oh…uh…sure.” You respond, pulling out your phone.

 

He seems momentarily surprised, but then he’s fishing his phone out too.

 

You give him a little smile as you share your contact info before checking the time. 

 

“You’d better go, you don’t want to lose too much time.” You encourage him; he’d mentioned that studio time could be very limited.

 

“I’ll…message you later?” He asks, starting to walk backwards in the direction he’s heading.  

 

It reminds you of the other night, and you just nod at him in response.

 

He raises a hand, then he turns and starts running off down the road, turning once to wave again before stumbling adorably and sprinting off.

 

Cute.

 

Cute? You snap yourself out of your little daze, turning around and shaking your head as you walk back home.

 

No, he’s just a nice guy .  

 

Sure he’s cute...gorgeous, really…but that doesn’t mean anything.

 

It’s nice to make a new friend.

 

A late winter chill hits you and you wrap your arms around yourself as you close the distance to your building.

 

Mentally slapping yourself, you have to remind your wandering brain that the last time you got caught off guard by a pretty face, you’d landed yourself in a depressive hole for weeks.

 

Sure, it helped the writing process, but you’d prefer to be inspired by positive events.

 

Goddamnit, now I’m thinking of Hoseok again.

 

By the time you’re closing the door to your apartment and kicking off your shoes, you’re already pulling out your phone to check your messages out of instinct.

 

What am I even doing?

 

He’s made it clear that he’s moved on and you were just a passing fancy.

 

Why can’t I just accept that it was fun while it lasted and move on with my life?

 

You barely even knew one another, why are you pining over a man who left you behind so easily?

 

Left me behind?

 

We never even spoke about a relationship, why am I blaming him for my own emotions and hopes?

 

You shuffle into your room to change into something comfy, and as you toss a hoodie over your head, your eyes are drawn to the necklace he left behind.

 

It’s currently dangling from the turn switch on your lamp beside your bed, forgotten by the man who used to treasure it.

 

“I know…me too…” You whisper to it, slipping your fingertips down the chain before you huff out a sigh and turn away.

 

What’s wrong with me?

 

He never treasured me.

 

I’m being so dramatic, confusing lust with true emotions, and that’s my own damn fault.

 

Cursing your weakness, you toss yourself onto the bed and let out a muffled scream into your pillow.

 

Part of you wants to have a complete breakdown and just cry it all out; perhaps a good sob session will alleviate this horrid weight bearing down on your foolish heart.

 

Then you can change your bedsheets and have a fresh start.

 

The other part of you wants to slap some sense into yourself for getting too wrapped up in a fantasy that never existed.  

 

Who are you to be angry at him for you mistaking things?

 

But he could have at least told you something…he made you feel like-

 

Did he though?

 

You’re not sure who you’re upset with more at this point; Hoseok or yourself.

 

Come on, heart, just stop being angry and get numb already.

 

You finally push yourself up out of the bed, rubbing your face wearily as you look at the necklace again.

 

“My dramatic ass needs to get over myself…you’re right.” You tell the piece of jewelry, flicking it with your fingers and admiring how it catches the light before getting up to go do some work.

 

I blame it on my cursed imagination, the downfall of being a writer, you think ruefully.

 

I’ve gotten over men before, this is no different.

 

I suppose the sex really was just that good.

You let out a chuckle at the thought, having to accept how true it is.

 

It really was amazing sex.  

 

It’s not like I’ll never have amazing sex again.

 

It’s unfortunate how every time you’ve tried to pleasure yourself since has brought to mind how he hovered above you, leaning in to whisper your name into your ear with that husky voice while he…

 

Goddamnit, now I’m thinking about his-

 

The chime of a text coming through saves you from going down that path, and you let out a relieved sigh as you open your phone, grateful for the interruption.

 

Settling yourself onto the couch, you open your messages and notice a few missed texts from Taehyung and Wooyoung before seeing the one that just came in.

 

“Huh…” 

 

Jin had messaged, despite having just parted from you not long ago.

 

“It’s Jin. I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed talking with you and I’m sorry if I took time away from anything.  Feel free to message me if you’d like to have coffee again sometime.”

 

It really doesn’t hurt to have a new friend, you conclude as you chew on your lip, thinking of a response.

 

You truly did have a great time just chatting and getting to know one another.

 

Having him live so close is also a perk, it’s quite easy to pop out for a coffee every so often.  

 

“What’s there to feel conflicted about?” You chide yourself, wondering why you are so hesitant with him.

 

You have plenty of guy friends, what’s one more? 

 

He knows everyone too.

 

Definitely friends.

 

No reason to think beyond that, nope.

 

“I’d like that, and again, I’m the one who should apologize. I hope you didn’t lose too much time at the studio because of me.” 

 

Checking the other messages from Tae and Woo, you send off quick replies then ponder if you feel like writing, or if you just want to lounge for the evening.

 

Rummaging through your kitchen for a snack, you hear the chime of your phone from the other room where you left it as another message comes through.

 

Wandering back into the living room with a bag of chips, you plop down and check your phone.

 

You barely notice the smile on your face as you read his response.

 

“Actually, they let me split the time between now and another day, so I don’t lose anything.  Though, I thought about not telling you that and making you feel bad so you’d have to owe me yet another coffee….and look…I spilled the rest on myself trying to get here…”

 

Giggling at his teasing, you open the picture he sends right after.

 

It’s a selfie of him wearing a headset in a small room that is likely the recording booth of the studio, a light brown stain on his white shirt, his full lips pouting at the camera.

 

“Ow-” You wince, reaching up to touch your lip where you’ve bitten it.

 

You hadn’t even noticed that you were chewing your lip and you sigh at yourself before responding to him.

 

“I bet you spilled that on yourself on purpose to try to guilt me.  But it's great that they let you split the time!”

 

You settle back on the couch, turning on the television in order to find something to watch.

 

Despite not doing much today, you had woken early and you weren’t quite in the writing mood.

 

You snatch your phone the moment it chimes again, grinning at his reply.

 

“Is it working?”

 

“Just like the rest of them…” You grumble, typing back.

 

“Well now that wouldn’t be fair if I told you, would it?” 

 

Before you can put your phone down again, he’s already responded.

 

“So you’re saying it’s working.”

 

Television forgotten, you chuckle at his humor.

 

“I said no such thing.  Aren’t you wasting time talking to me?”

 

“I can’t seem to help it, you’re fun to talk to.  So does this mean I’m at three?”

 

“Three? I bought you a coffee today!” 

 

“Yes, but I spilled it on myself so it doesn’t count… ”

 

“You’re incorrigible.”

 

“So 2pm Friday? I’m feeling an iced americano…”

 

You stare at the phone, blinking at it and cursing his wit…he really is fun to talk to.

 

“And if I dump it over your head?”

 

“Right, I’ll bring a change of clothes. See you then.”

 

You huff at his cute little waving emoji and toss your phone, leaning your head back against the cushions.

 

“Absolutely ridiculous.” You mutter, but you can’t help the way your lips curve into a soft smile at the banter as you make a mental note.

 

2pm Friday…

 

Definitely just meeting a friend.

He’s already waiting on you as you walk through the doors, hand shielding your head as you rush in from the rain.

 

Why you hadn’t thought to wear a jacket with a hood is a mystery to you, it’s not like you hadn’t noticed the weather earlier.

 

Ah well, you think, wiping at your hair, it’s just a little water.

 

“Hey-here you go.” 

 

You narrow your eyes at the cup being held out to you, flicking your eyes up to the man attached to the hand holding it.

 

“And what happened to me buying you an iced americano?” You inquire, taking the offering from him with a grateful nod.

 

“I figured given the weather, if you dumped this over my head, I could at least be warm.” He holds up the hot drink with a silly grin.

 

The warmth from the contents feels nice on your cold fingers and you struggle to keep a stern look on your face as Jin gives you an adorable shrug.

 

“Tempting…” You mutter, bringing the drink to your lips and taking a glorious sip of the warm coffee.

 

“How will I get you to come hang out with me if you don’t have a running tab?” He teases, gesturing for you to go find a seat.

 

You laugh at his comment, shaking your head as you both make your way to a little cozy nook with two overstuffed chairs and a small table.

 

It’s much more comfortable than the hard chairs, especially if you end up chatting for hours again.

 

Have to spare my poor backside, you muse.

 

“Well, you could just ask nicely, for one.” You settle yourself into the comfy seat as he falls into the chair across from you.

 

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.” His cheeky little smirk has you almost rolling your eyes.

 

He just grins at you as you sip your drink, and you lean back to relax.

 

“So, how’s the writing coming?” He asks right as you say, “Have you been in the studio to-?”

 

You share a laugh, still pleasantly surprised at how easy he is to talk to.

 

Time flies once more as you make small talk, but this time he’s set an alarm to remind him of his obligations.

 

Your conversation wanders from work to more general topics, yet even when you talk about the weather becoming warmer, you find yourself interested in what he’s saying.

It startles you both when his alarm finally interrupts your conversation.

 

“Already?” He says, eyes flying to his now chiming phone as he twists his lips in dismay.

 

You cover your smile at his reaction with your cup, only now noticing that it’s empty.  

 

“I should get back anyhow, I have some projects to work on.” You mention, gathering your trash and your bag as you stand.

 

He lets out a sigh, but then nods and stands, taking your cup from you to go dispose of them.

 

“Oh…thank you.” 

 

Not for the first time, you have to admire what a gentleman this man is.  

 

He rejoins you with a tight lipped smile, as if reluctant to go to his studio session.

 

“Why are you making that face? Aren’t you excited to get some time in with your music?”  You ask as he opens the door for you.

 

“Mmm…I am.  I just could have used another drink…” he responds, glancing off down the road before turning back to you.

 

“Well, too much caffeine can be a bad thing.”  You tease him, enjoying the little glimmer of amusement in his eyes as he turns back to you.

 

“Says the coffee addict…what was that, your fourth today?” He quips.

 

“Third, thank you very much.” You huff, turning your nose up and looking away.

 

His oddly addicting laugh ruins your fake indignation and you can’t help but fall into your own fit of laughter at the sound.

 

“Well…” you finally say after you calm down, “I suppose I’ll talk to you later?”  

 

He nods before hesitating, and you swear he’s about to say something but he just brings a hand up instead.

 

“Yeah, talk later. Thanks for hanging out.” 

 

You watch as he stuffs his hands in his pockets and walks off in the opposite direction.

 

Shrugging off the curiosity of what he might have wanted to tell you, you decide to go do something productive and get some work done.

You’ve seemed to have fallen into this routine over the last few weeks since meeting Jin.

 

Work, catch up with friends, sleep, eat…and have coffee with Jin.

 

It’s as if you can’t go two consecutive days without either running into him or one of you asking to meet up.

 

There’s a small part of you that recognizes that some of your thoughts aren’t exactly purely platonic for him, but the moment they even try to peek out, you’re chasing them back into the shadows.

 

One evening your phone dings fairly late and you ignore it while you wash up and change into your pajamas, figuring it’s one of the guys yapping about some random thing, or answering something from earlier.

 

Flopping onto the bed, you open your messages and you’re greeted with a new message from Jin.

 

Huh…he never texts you at night, you think off handedly.  

 

So far he’s kept to daytime back and forths and talking about meeting up for coffee.

 

Curious, you open it up and read.

 

“Are you awake?”

 

“Yeah, just getting ready for bed.  What’s up?”

 

“Waiting for the bus to get back, thought I’d bother you.”

 

“Wow, I’m honored.  Coming back from the studio?’

 

“Not this time, I had a meeting with Yoongi about production.  I won’t bore you with the details.  Did you get any writing done today?”

 

“A bit, I had some editing to do for some clients.  Same old.  I was wondering why you were messaging so late, did it go well?”

 

“Ah, I hadn’t thought about the time, my apologies if it’s too late to chat.”

 

“Not at all, just used to our afternoon coffee I suppose.”

 

“The meeting went well, I’ve got some extra studio time lined up and we’re working on a new song.”  

 

“Oh that’s great! Going to be super busy then? Are you breaking off our coffee dates?”

 

“You’re not getting off the hook that easily, you still owe me…let me count…”

 

“Oh stop it, you never let me buy them, you’re just holding them hostage for some nefarious purpose!”

 

“Ah, you’re on to me, I see.”

 

“I never would have taken you for such a villain with that face.”

 

“ This face?”

 

You bite your lip, pausing for a moment to think about how to respond.

 

Damn him for being so fun to banter with, you got away from yourself for a moment there.

 

Shaking your head, you decide to go the straightforward route.

 

“Oh come on, I’ve seen the crowds of women at your shows, you know you’re handsome.”

 

You watch the indication that he’s typing, but then it stops…then starts again…then stops…then starts.

 

Shit, did you go too far? Is he going to think I’m flirting? Is he going to be offended about that?  Why would he be offended? Why am I even worrying about that?

 

His message finally pulls you out of your head.

 

“You act like villains can’t be handsome.”

 

You let out a soft chuckle, berating yourself silently for spiraling over something like calling him handsome.

 

“So you think I’m handsome huh?”

 

Damn it, this man…

 

You sit up, typing away back at him.

 

“Oh don’t act like it’s not a basic fact, pal.  I just happen to have objectively recognized it based on the facts.”

 

“Ahhh, I see. So do you want to have dinner with me sometime?”

 

“Wow, moving past coffee into food now huh? You’re just trying to cash in coffee ious for a bigger prize huh?”

 

“I’d be paying for dinner.”

 

His answer causes you to shake your head, wondering at his ploy this time.

 

“Ah, trying to collect more I see.  You know, don’t let the guys hear you asking me to dinner, they’ll think you’re asking me out on a date.”

 

Your smile falters as you watch him go back and forth with typing again, the elation of chatting with him fading as you reread the last bit.

 

Maybe it’s your imagination but the tone seems to have changed.

 

You scroll back down to read his incoming message and your heart stops.

 

“I am asking you on a date.  I’m asking you to go to dinner with me.  A date.”

 

You can only stare at the message, your brain malfunctioning as you read and reread it, as if it’s going to change if you try to process it more.

 

A date?

 

Why would he take me on a date?

 

Idiot, you think to yourself, maybe he likes you?

 

ME?

 

Jin?

 

Why not?

 

Because-because….

 

There’s no reason not to…

 

Your eyes are drawn to the thin glinting silver chain hanging on the lamp next you and your entire body just freezes.

 

Because...he-

 

He what?

Comes back?

 

And if he does?

 

If he does, I give him back his necklace and close the door in his face.

 

Yeah right, at least I’d ask him to explain-

 

This isn’t about HIM.

 

Jin isn’t him.  

 

Yeah, exactly, Jin isn’t him .

 

You shy away from the fork that thought is trying to take, not wanting to explore the negative direction part of you is trying to take.

 

You realize you’ve been staring at your phone with the screen having turned black for far too long when it lights up again with another message. 

 

“Was that too forward?”

 

You grit your teeth, not knowing what to say.  

 

Your mind is a mess right now and you feel like if you say anything, you’ll regret whatever garbage comes out right now from the trash pile of emotion inside of you.

 

“Fuck. Goddammit. This should be easy!” You whine, tossing your phone and covering your face.

 

Is he really serious?

 

He wants to take me on a date?

 

This should be easy to answer yet…

 

Oh Jin…please understand why I can’t answer you right this moment…please forgive me…

The bright sunshine warming your face mocks you when you open your eyes the next morning.  

 

Groaning, you turn over to look for your phone, patting your hand around your body in search of it.

 

You sit up and yawn after not having any luck, rubbing your eyes then spotting it near the foot of your bed.

 

You’re greeted with Jin’s last message as you unlock it to check the time and your heart drops.

 

He hasn’t sent anything to follow up, but guilt fills you at not having responded to him.

 

He probably thinks I’m ghosting him, and that doesn’t feel good at all…

 

You chew your lip as you realize that the problem didn’t go away with sleep, and that you’ve just succeeded in probably making him feel awful.

 

Why can’t you just tell him something, anything?

 

Your thoughts are interrupted with an incoming call from your company.

 

You go through your morning making excuses.

 

I just need a shower then I’ll respond.

 

I should send these emails first and then I’ll think of something to say.

 

Well, I really need to eat something, I’ll be better on a full stomach.

 

Shit, there’s no food in the fridge, I should go to the store…

 

By the time you find yourself carrying two bags of groceries from the store back home, you’re still not sure what to think or say.

 

You’ve spent so much time brushing off the little things that would normally attract you to someone that you’ve almost built a wall against the idea that there was anything there.

 

A man doesn’t ask you to dinner…and specify that it’s actually a date unless he’s being for real.

 

Fuck, it’s not even that he’s gorgeous; he’s kind, gentle, funny as hell, easy to talk to-

 

God, he’s almost perfect.

 

If not for that ridiculous laugh-

 

Oh get over it, you love that laugh.

 

You stop right in the middle of the sidewalk, stunned at the realization.

 

You do.

 

You like him.

 

Fuck…

 

You’re snapped out of your daze as you hear your name being called, and before you can process, you hear, “Hey!”

 

Oh no…

 

The sight of Jin jogging across the road while waving his hand has you frozen like a deer in headlights.

 

Your face heats as you struggle to say something to him, anything, explain yourself-

 

“Hey.” You say to him as he comes to a stop in front of you, breathing heavily, winded from running.

 

“Hey.”  

 

For the first time since you’ve met him, you find yourself feeling at a loss for words, the tense silence building between you as your mind races for the right words to say.

 

His normally cheerful face is clouded with worry, and his serious expression only twists your stomach up.

 

“I-” You start but he interrupts you before you can say another word.

 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.  I’m sorry I crossed a line, I shouldn’t have asked you out. I realize now that I thought something is here that isn’t and-”

 

“There is.”  You blurt out.

 

Your face burns as you fumble through your vocabulary, trying to vocalize the mess of words in your mind into a literate sentence to explain yourself.

 

“There is? I…what?” He asks, tilting his head in confusion as you try to figure your way out of your own head.

 

“Yes…I mean, I think so…I mean-” Frustration overtakes you as you try to manage the bags in your hands with the way you just want to toss your hands up in frustration.

 

This only causes a bag to slip, but luckily Jin is fast and grabs it from your arms to save you from ruining half of your grocery haul.

 

“Thank you…I’m sorry.” You tell him, looking up at him as he attempts to take the other from you.

 

“It’s alright, but I’m…I guess I’m confused…can we…talk?” He asks, unable to meet your eyes and your heart stumbles all over itself at his innocent hesitation and sudden shyness.

 

“Um...yes…we should but…not out here…” You look around and realize that your place offers the most privacy, as the coffee shop seems pretty crowded.

 

Well, and groceries.

 

“Would you mind coming up to my apartment to talk or is that-?”

 

“No, it’s not uncomfortable for me as long as you’re alright inviting me.  I can help carry these…” he attempts to take the second bag once more.

 

“And then I’ll owe you even more? Nice try, pal.” You snort out.

 

You hadn’t realized how tense you’ve been until his lips curl up into a soft smile and it’s like the weight on your chest is alleviated slightly.

 

“Hey, I can do a freebie every so often…” He retorts and it earns him a return smile.

 

The walk up is quiet, an air of tension between you, but perhaps it’s your imagination.

 

You still have no idea what you’re going to say to him, but you know you don’t want to keep anything from him.

 

In the short time you’ve known one another, you’ve come to really value him as a person…as a friend…and possibly something more.

 

It’s just that you’ve been suppressing it and you’ve convinced yourself that your developing emotions were only platonic.

 

The vertigo from realizing that isn’t helping you process things logically right now.

 

“Here, let me hold that at least…” he offers as you try to fish out your keys.

 

“Thanks.” You hand him the bag and open the door, kicking off your shoes as he follows you inside.

 

You head into the kitchen with him trailing, gesturing for him to set the bags on the counter as you put away the perishable items.

 

“Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea? I can-”

 

“I’m fine, really.  What I really would like is to talk, if that’s alright.”

 

His tone is gentle, yet serious and you just nod, taking in a deep breath to prepare yourself as you direct him over to the couch in the living area.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t respond last night...leaving you on read like that isn’t what I intended but…” you start as he settles beside you.

 

You look at your hands as you trail off, tossing a glance at him warily.

 

His patient eyes are locked onto you, causing you to squirm a bit as you try to figure out what to say.

 

You haven’t spoken to anyone about your affair with Hoseok, and now that you know it’s necessary, you’re finding it hard to form the words.

 

But if anyone deserves to know, it’s Jin.

 

“Take your time.” His voice is soft and supportive, finally breaking the dam holding everything back.

 

Warmth heats your cheeks as you begin talking, and you do your best to explain as simply as possible

 

“You know how the guys were teasing me about being single and holing up in here?”

 

At his nod, you continue.

 

“Well...the truth is that I haven’t been entirely… single.   I’ve been involved with someone for a while.”

 

His eyes widen and he sits back, processing this new information.

 

“Ah...so you’re dating someone-”

 

You shake your head, halting him.

 

“No, no-I phrased that wrong.  I was involved…he…he ghosted me.  About a month ago.”  Your cheeks burn from the shame of admitting that.  

 

Jin’s brows draw together as you continue speaking, looking as if he wants to say something but he remains silent and you’re grateful for his patience.

 

You look at your hands to focus, picking absentmindedly as you carry on.

 

“I know it’s ridiculous to be hesitant, it was a while ago and I should just get over it but…I guess the lack of closure has stunted that and…”

 

You trail off, trying to figure out how to formulate your thoughts into something understandable, even to yourself.

 

Jin’s voice brings you out of your head as he leans over to tentatively rest his hand over yours, halting your fiddling with them.

 

“You must have really cared for him.” He whispers, his tone lacking any judgement.

 

You can only blink at him, your mind reeling at the simple statement.

 

Cared for him?

 

Sure, you really liked him…you thought there was something there, a possibility….

 

But…

 

“Cared..?…I..I barely knew him…” You tell him dryly, your lips twisting in dismay as it hits home.

 

You try not to feel even worse at his look of surprise.

 

“I think you and I have spoken more over coffee than he and I ever did during…”

 

You flap your hands in frustration, not wanting to voice the truth of what it was.

 

Yet, maybe it was better to admit it, to yourself, to him.  

 

Maybe instead of letting this sit in your stomach and fester, it’s what can help you finally move on.

 

Even if Jin finds you distasteful for such a thing.

 

You turn to him fully, searching his sympathetic brown eyes.

 

There’s not a hint of judgement in them and it pains you that he may think differently of wanting that date once he hears everything.

 

“We met and…it was physical right away…and while we did speak some, it was mostly … sex.”  You nod, eyes darting away from him, afraid to see his reaction.  

 

“Basically, we had a few months long affair and I thought it was something it wasn’t.  And then he disappeared, not a word, not any excuse, and I … well I guess I’ve been processing that I was mistaken the whole time and-”  

 

You hadn’t realized your eyes were filling with tears until he hushes you softly and gently cups your cheeks as he brushes them away with his thumbs.  

 

“Hey, it’s okay, get it out. I’m right here.”  He hums, and your breath hitches at his compassion.

 

“I haven’t told anyone, not a single person, and I have just been wondering what’s so wrong with me that he just disappeared out of nowhere.  And now I’m left thinking that what I thought was a possible relationship was in reality just some fun sex for him, and I feel stupid as hell for being emotional about it-”  

 

A hot tear burns a trail down your cheek, and the pad of Jin’s thumb is like a soothing balm.  

 

You close your eyes under his tender ministrations and try to collect yourself, taking a deep breath.

 

“You’re not stupid for having feelings.  If you never discussed anything, there was no way for you to know any better, alright?” Jin whispers, and you open your eyes to stare into his.

 

“I should have asked, I should have-”  You stop as he shakes his head.

 

“Hey,you shouldn’t blame yourself for misunderstanding anything.  Even if it was just an affair for him, he didn’t voice that to you either.  I don’t know why he suddenly left your life, I don’t know everything about what went on between you, but I do know that he’s an idiot for walking away from you.”  

 

His words cut right through your heart and you want to cry at how perfect this man is.  

 

His gaze holds yours, his eyes flicking back and forth as if he can convince you of his words by just staring at you.

 

Why is it kind of working?

 

“Fuck…” you mumble, blinking rapidly, “You asked me for a date and here I am dumping all of my trauma onto you, it’s not right-”

 

“Shh.” He shakes his head at you, “We’ve become friends, haven’t we? I’m not here because I want anything from you.  I…I’ve come to like you alot…as a friend, and as possibly more.  Whether or not you accept that part of me is up to you. I won’t stop being here for you, I won’t stop caring about you.”

 

Your cheeks burn at his admission, and you feel even worse for leaving him hanging on last night without a response, to worry and wait…

 

“Jin…” you raise your hands to cover his as he cups your cheeks, “I didn’t know how to respond last night because I didn’t know how to…I don’t want to say no and regret it because of all of this garbage.”

 

He gives you a tentative smile and opens his mouth to say something, but you rush on.

 

“But I also didn’t want to say yes and keep all of this anger at myself inside. I don’t want to start anything with you with all of this, it’s not fair to you.  You’re worth so much more than a rebound and I don’t ever want you to feel-”

 

“I really want to kiss you right now.” He states bluntly.

 

The statement completely throws you off, and you freeze, your heart thumping wildly in your chest.

 

He seems to realize that he hadn’t meant to say that out loud and he visibly recoils, sputtering apologies as he attempts to pull away from you gently.

 

“I’m sorry, I..that wasn’t the right time to say something like that, what is wrong with me?”

 

His obvious distress as he covers his face snaps you out of your shock, and you can’t help but cover your mouth from the small smile that creeps over your face.

 

This is not the time to laugh at him.

 

But it’s just far too adorable how he’s agonizing over what he said.

 

He wants to kiss you.

 

Fuck, he’s too precious for this world, you think.

 

The red creeping up the back of his neck stirs something within you, and all the fears that starting something with him could possibly end up the same way as Hoseok dissipates.

 

Swallowing heavily, and trying to resist the urge to tease him about the confession, you tug his hands from his face to get his attention.

 

“I’m so sorry, you just told me all that and I blurt out something so ridiculous, I don’t blame you if-”

 

God it’s cute how worked up he is, his dark eyes wild in concern and his voice pitching up as he apologizes.

 

“Jin.” 

 

“Please forgive me, I don’t know what’s wrong with me-”

 

“Jin.”

 

He finally stops speaking as you cup his cheek, turning his face towards you to lean in and press your lips to his.

 

His body stiffens momentarily, then he’s melting into the kiss.

 

His fingers brush across your cheekbone as he lets out a soft hum from his throat, then he tentatively parts his lips and swipes his tongue over your bottom lip.

 

Your arms slip around his broad shoulders, and open to him, encouraging him as you comb your fingers through his hair.

 

Your worries fall away one by one as little truths fall into place in your mind.

 

His lips are just as plush as you had imagined…and you had imagined this, as much as you’d like to deny it.

 

This kiss isn’t like another past kiss with a lover that you no longer want to remember.  

 

Jin’s kiss is tender, affectionate, light and patient.  

 

It didn’t carry any urgency or need, yet it’s just as poignant.

 

This isn’t a man desperate to get you into bed; this kiss holds the weight of his heart conveyed in feather light touches.  

 

Your lashes flutter as you both let out shaking breaths before he’s turning his head to brush his mouth over yours gently.

 

His nose nudges against yours as he pecks you once more, and when you open your eyes, you’re greeted with the sight of him watching you closely with each kiss.  

 

Your heart flutters in your throat, your stomach trembling with the wings of a thousand butterflies as he smiles at you.

 

Your fingertips trace along his jawline, then your gaze flicks down to his lips, admiring the way they’ve become more rosy from the friction of yours.

 

The room is silent outside of the distant muffled sounds of the outside world, and people going about their day, yet it’s as if you’re suspended in this precious moment with him.

 

His eyes are hooded, his dark eyes locked onto your face as if he’s studying it to memorize before he leans in slowly.

 

You smile as he hesitates, his gaze asking for permission before you nod and he recaptures your mouth with his.

 

All other thoughts of your conversation fall away along with all of your resistance to him.

 

You like him.

 

You really, really like him. 

 

Forcing away all of your doubts, you give yourself over to this moment with him, all of your hesitation forgotten.

 

By the time you both part and he tucks you into his chest to hold you close, time seems to have slipped as you note the orangish light of the sunset.  

 

His lips brush the crown of your head before he rests his cheek on it, his hands rubbing your arms.  

 

“Wow.” You finally breathe out, your arms wrapped around him as he cuddles you.  

 

“Yeah? Wow?” He asks softly, and you let out a giggle before you can stop it.

 

“Yeah….yeah.  Wow.”  

 

“Such moving words, I can see why you’re a writer.” He whispers into your ear.

 

You push him away playfully, lightly slapping his arm as the giggles overtake you.

 

His eyes dance as you look up at him, and you feel your cheeks heat as he licks his lips and looks at your mouth once more.

 

“Oh yeah, mister? Please feel free to elaborate then on-”  

 

Before you can finish, he’s kissing you again, but this time it’s fun and playful, and his fingers are slipping down your sides to tickle you.

 

“JIN!” You gasp, trying to swat him away as he causes you to squirm, then you’re launching your own attack on him.

 

By the time you’re both calling a draw, you’re breathless and laughing openly, grinning like teenagers at one another.

 

“Wow.” He teases and you threaten him with wiggling your fingers before he’s calling for a truce.

 

You glance out the window again and shake your head at the darkness creeping over the city.

 

“How long did we- well, I mean, I lost track of time.” You mention, clearing your throat.

 

He reaches out and threads his fingers through yours, studying them as he hums.

 

“You’re probably hungry, huh? I’d say I’d take you on that date but…” 

 

His voice is low, and you sense a bit of that earlier hesitation in his tone.

 

“Jin…I’d like that.”  You brush back a strand of hair that’s fallen over his forehead.

 

His eyes widen and he sits up straighter at your words, causing your heart to vibrate with happiness.

 

“Really? I mean, just because we-” 

 

You huff at him, giving him a stern look.  

 

“I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t want to go on a date, Jin. I’m just surprised you still want to, given what I just told you.” You look away, chewing your lip.

 

“Why wouldn’t I? Look…we both have pasts.  If you were in love with this guy, or anything like that, I might have my reservations.  I don’t want to start something when someone else is in your heart.  But from what you’ve told me tonight, you two weren’t even dating.”

 

You nod, looking back at him.  “We weren’t. We barely knew much about one another.”

 

He gives you a reassuring smile, “Then…what’s wrong with moving on and starting over with someone who wants to know every little thing about you?”

 

You look down at your hands intertwined as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles before nodding.

 

You meet his eyes once more, feeling all of the emotions for him that have been hidden away finally seeing the light of day.

 

“Damn it…” You grump, wiping at your eyes as he leans in and tilts his head to look at your tears as you turn away.

 

“Cute.” He hums, using his fingers to tilt your face towards him.

 

“Cute?! Are you one of those weird perverts that likes it when girls cry?” 

 

“Pervert?” He exclaims, causing you to laugh at his offended face. “I’m not a pervert! Why you-”

 

By the time you both get around to finally discussing food, you realize most places are getting close to closing.  

“I did buy all those groceries…” You mention as he tugs you up from the couch.

 

“Well, allow me to cook for you then?” Jin asks, still holding onto your hand as he pulls you close to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

 

Your stomach trembles at the simple gesture and you nod.

 

Yet another thing that makes this man perfect, you think, he can cook.

 

By the time he’s setting plates down in front of the both of you, your stomach is raging loudly at being neglected.

 

“Sorry…” you apologize, blushing and he just gives you a cute wink before he digs into his food.

 

There was a small part of you that kept wondering if it would be awkward now that you’ve crossed that line with him, but you end up chatting over your meal the same way you’ve spoken over coffee.

 

It’s comfortable and enjoyable, and you spend far longer talking than you do eating. 

 

By the time you’re cleaning up, it’s gotten quite late, you realize.

 

“Oh shit, it’s midnight.  Do you have an early morning?” You ask him as you turn to do the dishes.

 

He comes to join you, taking it upon himself to help with cleanup.

 

“Not too early, I have to go into the studio again midday. What about you?”

 

You shake your head as you both share the dish cleanup, and then he’s turning to you as he grabs a towel to dry his hands.

 

“I...I know it’s late…but…I mean..I don’t know if I’m ready for-” You start trying to explain, but he halts you by wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close.

 

“Shh.  I’m not going to stay over, don’t worry, it’s not even something I was considering.  I want to take things slowly with you, alright? There’s no need to rush things.”  

 

His words give you a mixture of emotions; guilt for assuming that’s what he was thinking, and the comfort of him knowing exactly why you want to pace things.

 

I’m glad I told him , you think to yourself as he leans in to press a kiss to your forehead.

 

“You owe me a real date though.” You inform him and he throws back his head to laugh.

 

“Ah, now you’re starting your own running tab for me?” He spins you around to cage you against the counter.

 

Your heart flutters and suddenly heat is pooling low in your abdomen at the action.

 

Oof, this is going to be hard to resist , you think as you chew your lip and look up at him.

 

“Maybe.” You joke and he just studies you for a moment, leaning in to hover his lips over yours before bussing them and then withdrawing.

 

You resist the urge to let out a groan of disappointment as he clears his throat and runs his fingers through his hair.

 

“I should head home and let you sleep…will you message me back finally?” He asks.

 

A pang of shame washes over you at the reminder and you nod.

 

“Hey, I’m teasing-well not about messaging me.  Walk me to the door?” He asks, holding out his hand.

 

You take it and he leads you over, swinging your hands like a toddler as he grins at you.

 

“You’re adorable.” You blurt out, and he laughs and pretends to brush his hair back.

 

“I think you mentioned I was handsome before too?”

 

“Don’t push it, pal.” 

 

He slips on his shoes and pauses before reaching for the door handle.

 

There’s a moment of silence as he turns to you, then his fingers are slipping around the back of your neck and his plush lips are brushing over yours briefly before he parts from you.

 

“Goodnight, beautiful.” He whispers against your mouth, then before you can process it, he’s out the door and it’s closing behind him.

 

Well fuck, what a way to leave me speechless.

 

It takes you a moment to recover, grumbling under your breath all while the silliest grin is plastered to your face.

God, he’s so handsome…

 

You can’t help but stare at Jin as he sings, his eyes closed as he belts out those glorious vocals.

 

This is the third show you’ve been to; the second as Jin’s...girlfriend…

 

You don’t even realize you’re grinning like a dope until Wooyoung bumps your shoulder to knock you out of your daze.

 

“Has he gotten to you too?” He teases and you huff at him, trying to keep your face neutral as you roll your eyes.

 

“I’m really into the music, he’s a great singer, Woo.”  

 

“His guitar playing is great too, Yoongi has been teaching him for awhile and he’s improved so much.  He used to never play before during shows.”  Jimin adds, and you smile as you glance back at the man in question.

 

His eyes meet yours over the crowd and you have to fight back a blush, covering your goofy smile by taking a sip of your drink.

 

You listen and nod along to the guys chatting about friends from out of town coming back soon, pretending to listen to them as you keep watching the show.

 

Now that you’ve accepted how you feel about him, it’s become harder to ignore the little taunts from the guys. 

 

Tae’s suspicious look has you paying more attention to the conversation as the show continues.

 

You know you should tell them soon, it feels weird to hide the relationship from your closest friends.  

 

For some reason, as much as you want to be completely open about everything, there is a certain little thrill to keeping it quiet over the last week.  

 

It’s still new, and we’re still exploring this, you think; it's been really nice to have a quiet beginning together without the scrutiny and judgement of your friends.

 

Not that they would be against anything of course; more so to commit to taking it slowly.

 

It won’t be like before, you reassure yourself.

 

This isn’t a secret affair, not like…

 

There’s a lingering worry deep inside of you that you’ve acknowledged; the fear that this may end abruptly along with an instinctual need to preserve yourself just in case.

 

Jin’s not like that, he truly likes me.

 

His understanding and patience only makes that more clear.

 

It’s crazy what talking openly about your feelings and relationship has done for you.

 

You smile as you continue to enjoy the show, enjoying how the girls go completely crazy over him.

 

Oh I know, ladies, I know….

 

You can’t help but appreciate their taste.

 

By the time you’re parting ways, it’s gotten late and both you and Jin wave as everyone goes off in their own directions.

 

It’s quiet between you as you start walking back, stealing glances at one another for a few moments before Jin finally turns to look back where everyone disappeared.

 

“Ugh, finally-” He says, immediately reaching out to take your hand and tug you close to him.

 

“Impatient much, Jin?” You giggle, melting into him as he wraps an arm around you.

 

“You’re so cold…” he observes, wrapping both arms around you as you walk.

 

“Isn’t it awkward to walk like this?” You tease him, and he just scoffs at you.

 

“As long as you’re staying warm, nothing is too awkward for me.”  

 

Heat rushes to your cheeks at his words and you can’t help but stop and turn to wrap your arms around his waist to hug him tightly.

 

The streets are quiet, and only a street lamp illuminates the area around you as he smiles softly down at you.  

 

“I feel like we’re two kids disobeying our parents and sneaking around.” You mumble as you press your face into his chest.

 

“Hey wanna come make out at my place?” He jokes, wiggling his eyebrows at you as you look up at him.

 

“Actually…yeah.” You respond, and his gaze is drawn to your lip as you bite it in anticipation.

 

“Say less.”

 

You let out a loud laugh as he grabs your hand and starts pulling you along in a run.

 

“Jin!”

 

“Hey, you offered!” 

 

Your stomach flips at his excitement, unable to deny your own enthusiasm.

 

By the time he’s tugging you into his apartment and the door is closing, you’re both winded and giggling as you try to catch your breath.

 

Before you even finish kicking your shoes off, Jin is enveloping you in his arms and looking down at you with a little pout on his full lips.

 

You grin up at him as he walks you backwards in his arms, doing your best to not trip as he holds onto you.

 

“So dramatic-” You laugh, and he squishes his face up as he lets out a little whining noise.

 

“Wanted to kiss you all night-” he grumps as he leans down to brush his lips over yours.

 

“Why are you so cute-” You begin, but you’re cut off as he presses his lips firmly against yours.

 

“I'll show you cute.” He hums as he parts from your mouth momentarily to tumble you both onto the couch.  

 

“Oof-Jin!” You giggle as he does his best not to collapse his entire weight on top of you.

 

“Mm, sorry… shh,” his mouth is back on yours before you can protest and your arms instinctively wrap around his neck as he plies your lips open.

 

He settles himself on top of you, keeping himself slightly hovering over you as he deepens the kiss.  

 

A shiver races up your spine as his hand cups your cheek, using his thumb to trace circles right beneath your ear.  

 

A small moan leaves your throat and your legs part in reflex as your fingers tangle into his hair.

 

His husky moan as he takes a breath has you all but vibrating underneath him before he’s turning his head to come at you from another angle.

 

Your entire body heats as he settles more of his weight on you, his thighs pushing yours open.  

 

The sensation of his obvious excitement suddenly pressing into your thigh causes you to gasp into his mouth as you involuntarily clench around nothing.

 

Your cheeks burn as you feel your panties soak with wet heat, lifting your hips up against him without thinking.

 

“Oh god-” he breathes out as his lips part from yours, his nose almost touching yours as he looks down at you with those gorgeous chocolate eyes.

 

The sight of his lust glazed stare has your fingers tightening in his hair and he lets out a shaking groan as he presses kisses to the side of your mouth.

 

His gaze doesn’t leave your face as he tentatively adjusts his body, using his hips to grind his arousal against your aching core.

 

“Jin-” Your moan has him halting as his eyes close, wincing as he seems to try to control himself.

 

“Sorry...I should stop.” His voice is shaking and you can feel him trembling against you.

 

Swallowing, you tug his hair gently, forcing him to open his eyes, then you lift your hips up against him.

 

The moan he lets out is downright sinful as his entire body jerks, and his free hand grabs the pillow behind you to clench it tightly.

 

“Wait...are you…are you okay with…this?” His tone is strained and his words clipped.

 

“Jin…look at me…” You whisper, combing your fingers through his dark locks.  

 

You watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows heavily, then his beautiful eyes are on yours.  

 

“Does it feel good?” You ask him softly, and he nods immediately.

 

“Yeah?” You take his hand from your face and slowly bring it down to your chest, encouraging his palm to skim over your clothed breast.

 

“Oh fuck-” He whimpers.

 

His response only adds to your desire as he licks his lips and his fingers cup your tit.  

 

You can feel your nipple tighten against his palm, and it’s obvious he feels it as well as his eyes dilate.

 

You let out your own whine as his erection throbs against your crotch, and you wrap your legs around his and lift your hips up against him.

 

He buries his face into your neck as he moans out your name, his hips jerking forward to grind himself into you.

 

“Jin-” You gasp as the friction of your clothes rubs into your clit and your entire body shudders.

 

“Dont…don’t keep saying my name…like that or-” He keens and you can’t help but say it again.

 

Suddenly his lips are on your pulse, this tongue tracing the line of your neck and he’s rocking his hips into you.

 

“Jin…oh Jin…” You encourage, your hand gripping the back of his shirt as he ruts against your clothed core.

 

“Fuck-” He gasps as he slips hand down under your shirt and pushes your bra from your breast so he can clutch at the bare flesh.

 

The sensation causes you to let out a lewd moan as you throw your head back and his grunts and groans suddenly fill the room.  

 

His reaction to you sends your mind reeling, and you can barely breathe as a tense heat builds up in your lower abdomen.  

 

The bruising crush of his rigid clothed cock against your clit is making you dizzy and you clutch onto his shirt, all but clawing at his back as you feel your impending orgasm threatening to overtake you.

 

“Oh fuck, oh god , wait- wait-” he cries out yet his hips seem to have a mind of their own and don’t seem to want to wait.

 

“Jin, oh god… Jin..Jin-I’m- I’m gonna-” You gasp, burying your face into his shoulder as he starts letting out the sexiest whimpers and moans.

 

Your climax slams into you, tearing through your sanity as bright lights dance behind your closed eyelids.  

 

A burning heat pools in your panties as his body shudders and jerks against you, his desperate cries and erratic grinding only serving to prolong the sensation as your cheeks blaze.

 

His lips press into your neck in sloppy, humid kisses as he breathes against your damp skin, and you laugh softly as his body is hit with a fit of tremors randomly.

 

“Shh…don’t move.” He hums, burying his face into your neck.

 

“Jin, did you-” 

 

“SHH!” He says, nipping your neck, causing you to giggle, “Don’t say it.”

 

“You did..you came in your-” 

 

His mouth is on yours before you can finish, suppressing your laughter as he attempts to avoid the truth.

 

“Jin-”

 

Each time, he’s hushing you with another kiss before you’re both almost crying from post orgasm giggles.

 

“ So hot.” You whisper in his ear as he finally settles on you, pressing his face into your chest.

 

“Hmm? What is?” He asks, glancing up at you before he adjusts so you’re lying side by side and he’s petting your hair back.

 

“You cumming in your-” 

 

“HSSSHH!” He teases, pushing a finger to your lips.

 

“It’s hot.  I…I think it’s really hot…” You hum, nipping at his finger.

 

His cheeks and neck get adorably red as he looks anywhere but at you.

 

“Well..I mean..if you like it…” He grates out.

 

“I mean, I came in mine too, to be fair.” You admit.

 

He groans at your words, biting his lip before letting out a raspberry at you.

 

“Less messy, though.” He pouts.

 

“I dunno…I’m-nevermind.” You halt, not wanting to get too graphic.

 

His hooded eyes study you and you have to take a deep breath as he looks at you like that. 

 

Like he wants to make another mess.

 

Resist the urge to find out how big of a mess, you chastise yourself.

 

“I’m sorry if that was too much.” He whispers, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours.

 

You shake your head, pressing a peck to his lips.

 

“I…I liked it..it wasn’t too much.  But I should go home soon.  Early mornings for us both.” You remind him.

 

“Hmm…just one more kiss then…” he whispers, leaning in.

 

It’s always one more kiss, but you’re not protesting.

“Good morning, beautiful.  Excited for tonight?” 

 

Jin’s message greets you as you awaken, and you smile and kick your feet.

 

Even after two weeks of these morning texts, you are still pleasantly surprised by them.

 

We’re dating , you think, giggling like a schoolgirl.

 

You’d think I’ve never dated before.

 

Since that night, you’ve continued on like normal with him; meeting for coffee, messaging, and finally going out to have casual dates.  

 

Well, “normal” minus the small little make out sessions.

 

He’s been so patient with you, always noticing when things seem to be getting too heated and you are both grateful and frustrated at his consideration.

 

Did I shoot myself in the foot with that? You wonder, not for the first time.

 

You’re definitely very attracted to him, and despite his patience, you are very well aware that it’s mutual.

 

But you know deep down that if you rush into full physical intimacy too soon, it might stir up some of those worries.

 

As long as Jin is willing to be patient with me, we can take it slow.

 

Even though sometimes I want to just toss aside all those silly worries and-

 

Well...there was plenty of time for that.

 

You’ve yet to disclose the relationship to your friends either.

 

More so because Jin wants to respect your wish to go slowly with everything than it is out of fear of their reactions.

 

But just last night you’d discussed telling everyone.

 

“I have some friends coming back into town after a long work trip, and I haven’t seen them in awhile.  Would you be up to meeting them?” He’d asked.

 

You’d decided that you’d broach the topic of your relationship with him, deciding that this might be the best opportunity to tell everyone.

 

“I’d love to meet your friends, Jin.  I have a question too…” 

 

“Oh? Is everything alright?” He’d asked, sensing the hesitance in your voice over the phone.

 

“Yes, more than alright.  How would you feel…if we told everyone?”  

 

The silence from the other end gives you momentary panic.

 

“Jin-?”

 

“Are you serious? You really want to? Are you ready for that? ”

 

You couldn't help but smile at his obvious barely contained excitement.

 

“Only if you are, I don’t want to rush-”

 

“Let’s tell them. Yes.  Yes, I would love that.  Are you really sure?”

 

“Yes, Jin. I’m really sure.” You’d giggled, then burst into laughter as he made little cheering noises.

 

“I wish I could see you right now.” You’d told him and he went silent for a moment as you heard movement from his end.

 

“Me too, but you have an early morning.  And you’d have me slaving around cooking and cleaning for you again-”

 

“AGAIN? You offered to cook!” 

 

He’d bursted into his ridiculous honking laughter as you’d huffed and puffed at him.

 

“I miss you too.” He finally said, and you’d melted into your bed as he made silly kissy noises into the phone.  

 

“Save those for me for tomorrow, alright?”.  

 

“I have plenty for you whenever you want them.”

 

“Sweet talker.”

 

“Goodnight, beautiful.” He had hummed as you broke the call with your own kisses.

 

Now in the morning light, faced with the upcoming reveal, you find yourself in panic mode.  

 

What should I wear?

How should I do my hair?

 

Oh, I need to shower…is it too early?

 

Should I-

 

Your mind races as you rush around, stopping only to have your morning coffee before tearing apart your closet as you reject outfit after outfit.

 

“Shit,” you mumble, checking the time.  

 

You have a meeting with one of your editors for the novel you’ve been writing soon.

 

Tossing a few of the options you’ve picked out into a bag with everything you’ll need for the evening, you grab your laptop and turn to head out.

 

Jin won’t mind if you need to change at his place last minute, and worst case, your apartment is right across the way if you need anything.

 

Halting, you chew your lip for a moment before dashing back into your room, digging out your sexiest bra and panty set and some pajamas to toss into your bag.

 

You never know, it might get late and I might be far too tired to walk home…

 

Finally you dash out the door, trying not to let your thoughts get too wild, but it’s always better to prepare…

“On my way,” You send to Jin as you dash out of your last appointment of the day.  

 

Things ran later than you’d expected, but Jin had told you that people weren’t coming over until the evening anyhow.  

 

Checking the time, you note that it’s only ten past four and you smile to yourself.

 

You might get some alone time with Jin prior to anyone arriving.

 

Jin’s incoming text cancels that thought though.

 

“Yoongi and Tae are already here, Woo and Jungkook ran to grab some things. My friends will be here in a bit as well; I can’t wait to see you.”

 

Ah well, at least finally telling everyone, you won’t have to pretend anymore.

 

The smile on your face grows as you imagine the looks on everyone’s faces; you know you’re going to get some ribbing but it’s totally worth it to finally have everything out in the open.

 

You catch a cab to his place, not wanting to wait on the bus schedule.

 

You notice Wooyoung and Jungkook walking back as you step from the cab and thank the driver.

 

“Hey!” You call out, and the two turn to greet you.

 

“Just getting here?” Jungkook asks, eyeing the departing taxi.

 

“Yeah, I had a bunch of meetings today, just getting done.”

 

“Your novel?” Woo asks, and you smile at his memory, you’d mentioned it about a week ago.

 

“Yeah, it needs to be looked over and then I can take care of any edits and changes.  From the sounds of it, they’re excited about it.” You beam at the two men.

 

“Well sounds like we need to get you a drink and celebrate!” Jungkook says, ushering you into the elevator to make your way up.

 

“Sounds good to me, I could use it.” You laugh as they chat about their days.

 

Your body is thrumming with excitement, you can’t wait to see their reactions to your news.

 

It’s crazy how you’re more excited over announcing your relationship with Jin than you are over the impending publishing of your book.

 

When Jin opens the door, his eyes linger on you as you share a knowing look and you have to resist the urge to run into his arms and kiss him.

 

Soon, you think, very soon.

 

“Hey come on in, put that stuff in the kitchen.” He tells Wooyoung and Jungkook, and you can hear Yoongi calling out to them.

 

Jin turns to you and you let out a long breath as he looks at everyone to make sure they're not looking before brushing his fingers over yours.  

 

He grins at your blush and you give him a glare. 

 

“Tease. Can I change in your room? I just got out and want to freshen up.” You hold up your bag.

 

“Of course…want me to come help?” He teases and you hush him with a look over his shoulder.

 

“Incorrigible pervert.” You mutter as he fakes shock at your words.  

 

“Fine, fine but later…” he whispers as you brush past him, and he catches your fingers with his momentarily.

 

You just shake your head at him and disappear into his room to change.

 

You’ve only been in here once before, when he gave you a tour of his place.

 

You’d both tried to contain the makeout sessions to his couch, as the bedroom offered far too many opportunities…

 

Not that it’s stopped a few things, you blush, then shake yourself from your own perverted musings.

 

While you’re pondering which outfit to wear, you hear the doorbell signalling his other friends showing up.

 

You grin as you hear some greetings and finally settle on a simple blue dress and sweater, knowing that it’s his favorite color.

 

You take a moment to step into his connected bathroom and freshen your makeup, smoothing your hair a bit so it’s not too unruly.

 

Smiling at your reflection, you head out to his room as you hear a soft knock on the door.  

 

Jin peeks in, his eyes dancing as he looks for you, then he’s looking over his shoulder before slipping inside.

 

“Jin-” 

 

Before you can protest, he’s wrapping his arms around you and crushing his lips to yours.

 

His satisfied little hum has you smiling against his mouth and you give in to the kiss for a moment before reluctantly breaking it.

 

“You’re pushing it, pal. I could have been changing.”  You chastise him.

 

“I mean, I was hoping-”

 

He laughs loudly as you smack his chest lightly.

 

“Pervert.” You whisper as you go on your tiptoes to give him a peck.

 

“ Your pervert, and I don’t hear you complaining.” He taunts as he pulls you close.

 

“Hey, you have people on the other side of that door, pal.  Calm yourself.” 

 

“Fine…” He sulks and you give his cheek a little pinch.

 

“Is it alright to leave this here?” You gesture to your bag.

 

“Of course, come on…I can’t wait to introduce you to them as my girlfriend .” 

 

Your stomach does a little flip at his words, and the anticipation and anxiety of the upcoming reactions has you feeling giddy.

 

He opens the door and peeks out, then looks over his shoulder to give you a grin.

 

“Ready?” 

 

You take his hand when he reaches for you and give him a firm nod, tamping down the nerves threatening your excitement.

 

He leads you out to the living area, and you can hear voices from the kitchen talking loudly.

 

Wooyoung’s cackling has you rolling your eyes as Jin tugs you along, and you glance over to see Jimin stepping out of the kitchen.

 

He opens his mouth, but then doesn’t say a word as he catches sight of your entwined hands.

 

The look he gives you has you blushing, his eyebrows raised with a cheeky little “oh-ho?” face.

 

You have a silent back and forth that basically confirms his thoughts and he leans back against the wall with a smug look.

 

“Hey, since everyone is here-” Jin says, quieting the voices from the kitchen as you walk in.

 

The rattling of glasses and greetings from the men make you smile, and you have a random passing thought about needing to get some more girl friends in your life.  

 

Wooyoung’s yapping is cut off as he spots you holding onto Jin and he nudges Taehyung next to him.  

 

Before you can enjoy their reactions, Jin is drawing your attention to the two men you haven’t met.  

 

A tall man is talking to Yoongi before he is interrupted by your entry, and there’s a dark haired man behind him rummaging in the fridge.  

 

The tall man turns his gaze on you and you’re immediately stunned by his serious expression melting into a warm smile as he spots you and Jin.

 

Wow, they really are all freaking handsome, you think as his dimples pop out.

 

Ridiculous.

 

“Namjoon, Hoseok, this is my girlfriend-” Jin starts, but your entire blood supply runs ice cold as the man behind Namjoon turns around.  

 

It takes you a moment to register Jin’s introduction as your gaze meets the man you thought you’d never see again.

 

Did he just say Hoseok?

 

Does he know Hoseok?

 

Your heart throbs painfully as his eyes register your presence, his stunned expression mirroring your own emotions.

 

You barely notice the eruption of talking around you from the others as you stare at one another, trying to gather any moisture in your mouth as your brain malfunctions.

 

What is he doing here? 

 

Why is he here now, of all times?

 

Where has he been?

 

What-?

 

Despite standing deadly still as Wooyoung grabs your shoulders to shake you, rambling about keeping it secret from him, a violent storm of emotions is warring within you.

 

Hoseok’s dark, familiar eyes flick over to Jin, then back to you, down to your hands, then back to catch your gaze.

 

Your hand tightens in Jin’s as he tugs you closer and says something but you don’t hear his words.

 

What is that look he’s giving you?

 

Why does he look so pained right now?

 

Why are you feeling guilty suddenly?

 

“Hey, is everything okay?” Jin’s voice cuts through your thoughts and you tear your gaze from Hoseok as you realize you haven’t been breathing.

 

Your head spins as Jin leans down, brushing a strand of hair back as he looks at you in concern.

 

“What did you call her?” Hoseok finally breaks his silence, drawing your attention once more.

 

“Jin’s got a girlfriend, I never thought I’d see the day-”

 

“Finally, fuck, I’ve been waiting to hear you two come clean-”

 

“I knew it!”

 

The commotion around you finally gets through as you try to take one breath after another, slowly trying to calm yourself.

 

“What. Did. You. Call. Her.” Hoseok asks again as he pushes past Namjoon.

 

Jin lets out a confused laugh as Hoseok approaches and you can feel your stomach tremble in concern.

 

Oh god, don’t let Hoseok say anything, please-

 

“My girlfriend.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys before, it’s fairly new-” Jin begins.

 

“How new?” Hoseok asks, his gaze turning on you.

 

Is he angry?

 

What the fuck?

 

“Um.. it’s been a few weeks…” Jin responds, looking confused at Hoseok’s inquiries and tone.

 

As Hoseok gets near, a waft of his familiar scent hits you like a truck and your entire body suddenly unfreezes as a swarm of confused emotions pummel you all at once.

 

You don’t hear anything else said as you tug your hand from Jin’s and bolt out of the room, out of the apartment, using the emergency stairs to escape.

 

Why is this happening?

 

What is going on?

 

You barely notice the pain of your jaw clenching tightly, tears stinging your eyes as you run out of the building.

 

You have no idea where you are going, but your only thought is flight.

 

The sound of your name coming from behind you only encourages your feet as you sprint off.

 

Everything was going so well, why did he suddenly reappear in your life?

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Asunder