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Shouta Aizawa knew all about sacrifice.
He knew that somethings in life were never fair, he had come to learn that at a young age. That no matter what, life had a sick way of coming and taking what mattered to him away. What had started that was when Oboro Shirakumo, one of his bestest friends in the world, had died so sudden during their work study. Flatten by a building that took his life right there and then. Something in Aizawa had changed that day. The realization that being a hero did not come with happiness. If being a hero could take someone so important as one of his best friends, what could be so different about the girl he cared about the most.
You.
How was he for certain that you would live a happy life and be a hero? He didn’t think he could handle seeing that spark in your eye disappear. To not see that smile that lit up your whole face when you smiled and laugh. How could he ever bring himself to truly be happy when there was that fear in the back of his mind telling him to not get in too deep.
And in deep he went. No matter what he tried, you were always there in his mind. Always thinking of you when he tried so hard not to. Mic had tried to talk some sense into him, but Aizawa wouldn’t listen. All through school he tried to distance himself from you. You wouldn’t budge, always there to try and get through him.
After graduation he thought maybe he could distance himself from you. To finally not have to be around you all the time, but even working as an underground pro, you were always around. Working cases he did, seeing your face on tv after a big catch, seeing your face on magazines as one of Japan’s sweethearts. Most of all, always there when Mic forced him to go out for a night out at the bar.
“Come on Sho! Drinking for a night won’t kill you!” Mic tried reasoning with him. He never fell for it, letting loose was never something Aizawa would do. Letting loose meant letting his guard down and that was something he couldn’t do with you around.
“Come on Hizashi” you giggled, taking a sip from your mojito “you know he never gives into all you begging”
”It doesn’t hurt to try! One day he’ll change his mind I just know it” Mic huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He sat next to you, across from Aizawa in a booth. Aizawa tried not to look at you too long. Scared that he would get lost in admiring your beauty. He had noticed how beautiful you looked tonight. You hair was curled, you wore a nice low cut tight shirt that pushed your cleavage out, with a tight pair of dark blue jeans and black heels that made your legs look nice and long. You were dressed to impress and it was hard for him to not focus on you so much.
“We both know how up tight he can be, Mic” You said looking down at your drink as your swirled the straw around. He couldn’t help but feel like that was a jab at him. It must have been.
“Yeah, yeah” Mic mumbled, meeting his eyes and giving him a pointed look he knew too well. It was the same look he got throughout school when he would push her away. The same look Mic would give him when he tried to subtly encourage Aizawa to make a move on you. “I know”
Mic knew of his feelings for you, he had confessed to him a few years back after graduation. But no matter what Mic said to him, he would not act upon his feelings. Shouta Aizawa knew he loved you, he had know for years now that he did. No amount of denial could erase those feelings. He also knew that you loved him too, he had known since high school. You had never outright and said it, but you had showed it through your actions.
“We should probably head out after this” Aizawa said looking at both of them seriously. They hadn’t been there long enough to get drunk, maybe a little buzzed. “We all have an early morning”
The other two agreed, being responsible adults and not wanting to be hungover in the morning. They all paid their tabs and headed out of the bar. Mic said his goodbyes before walking the opposite direction of them as he lived at the other side of town. You lived a little closer to Aizawa, in the same direction but closer to the center of the city. You both walked in silence until it came to split ways, that was before you finally said something.
“Can I ask you something?” Your voice was soft as you looked up at the sky, looking at the building lights that lit up the streets.
“Yeah” Aizawa nodded, putting his hands in the pockets of his loose black pants. Taking the advantage that you weren’t looking at him to admire how pretty you looked. The lights lighting up your features making you look almost magical to him.
You still didn’t look at him as you started to speak, your voice a little sad. “Could there ever be anything more than friendship between us?”
He froze at your question, surprised that you had come out to ask him so bluntly. Throughout his years of knowing you, you had always been so shy. Not one to openly talk about your affection with others. He didn’t say anything, but you did.
“How long have you known that I love you, Sho?” Your voice cracked at your question, you were now looking down at your purse that hung from your shoulder “have you always known?”
”Since high school” Aizawa said softly, trying so hard to not reach out to touch you. To comfort you. “I’ve known since high school”
You sucked a breathe in, your hands fisting at your side. You turned your back to him as you tried not to start crying right there and then. “Is there a chance? Do you feel anything for me?”
Aizawa could feel a knot in his throat, like his words were trying to spew out of him.
Yes!
I love you too!
I always have!
But instead…
”No…” he finally spit out, trying to sound sincere “I don’t see you as anything more than a friend”
He didn’t want to say that, he truly didn’t. But happiness was something he didn’t think he could ever come by. He didn’t deserve it. Why should he be able to be happy when Oboro could never have the chance? It just didn’t seem right, it wasn’t fair.
“I see…” you whispered so softly he almost didn’t hear you. He watched as your shoulders shook with a silent cry that you were trying so desperately to hide. “I…” you stopped talking when your voice cracked. His heart was breaking at the pain that he was bringing you, but it was necessary. This needed to happen for you to move on. To find someone better than him. “I’ll see you around”
He wanted to say something so desperately, to stop you from walking away and tell you that he didn’t mean anything he said. That he loved you so fucking much that it physically hurt him to not be near you. To maybe see if he could truly ever be happy. But he didn’t. He let you walk away, he watched you until you disappeared down the street and blended in through the small crowd of people.
It would be almost three years before he saw you again. You both would be around 27 when you would meet again. Mic would invite you out, but you would never show. It was either work, or you already had plans, or you were tired. Aizawa knew it was because of him, he knew Mic knew too. Mic had scowled him for what he had done, called him an idiot for it. But it didn’t matter, it was for the better.
The first time he saw you after three years, almost knocked the wind out of him. You were still as beautiful as he remembered, probably even more. You had a glow to you that he hadn’t seen the last time he had saw you. Mic had invited you to celebrate Aizawa’s new job at UA. Midnight and a few teacher from there had joined them too for a ‘jobwarming’ of some type. He had honestly not expected you to show, but you did. The smile on your face was so bright and genuine.
“Hey, guys!” You hugged Mic before you turned to hug Aizawa. He had not expected it either “it’s been so long!”
”It’s only been three years!” Mic said sarcastically as he smiled at her, pushing a mojito he had ordered for himself towards her “not that long!”
”Yeah, sorry about that” she said with a sad smile, but it didn’t stay on her face long as she turned to look at Aizawa “congratulations on the job!”
”Thanks” Aizawa smiled at her, the upward tilt of his mouth enough to show that he was happy to see her.
“Are you guys going to introduce us to your friend?” Midnight spoke from down the table, patting the seat next to her for you to take “what’s your name?”
You introduced yourself to the rest of the teachers, a bright smile on your face. Aizawa couldn’t bring himself to look away from you. His heart was beating out of his chest, his hands sweating at just seeing you again. God, he had missed you.
“What have you been up to?” Mic asked you, grabbing your attention. You had been talking to Midnight when Mic spoke up “You must have been busy these last few years”
”Of course” you laughed, looking over at him with a sparkle in your eye “I’ve been traveling and working on cases outside of here. It has been amazing!”
Aizawa wasn’t really paying attention to what your were saying as he looked at you. You wore you beautiful hair down, the color of it looking amazing with the tone of your skin. You wore a light blue flowy dress that look good on you. It was when you raised you hand to tuck a strand of your hair that Aizawa finally snapped out of his daze. His stomach clenching awfully at the diamond ring that sat on your ring finger. Something that could only be an engagement ring.
“Whoa whoa whoa! Missy is that big rock what I think it is!?!?” Mic screeched from across him. Mic sat next to you and was able to grab your hand to examine the ring you had. “My, my, my! What do we have here?”
”Oh wow” Midnight whistled from her other side, causing some of the other teachers to chuckle “now that is a rock! How beautiful!”
Your face flushed at the attention you were receiving. A nervous and giddy giggle leaving you as you looked up at Mic. “I didn’t want to take the spotlight from Sho, but I had wanted to tell you guys about it when I came to see you today”
Aizawa felt like he was going to be sick. His hand clenched around the small glass of liquor he held in his hand. He wanted to badly to just down it.
“Oh?” Mic smiled fondly at you, waiting on you to continue.
”I am getting married!” You said so excitedly, looking so happy as you spoke.
Aizawa felt like he was going to throw up. It couldn’t be happening. Not right now. He wasn’t ready.
“Congratulations!” “That’s amazing!”
“Thank you” You smiled so big, the smile he loved to see on your pretty face.
“Did you see how big that rock is, Sho?” Mic asked grinning, Aizawa knew he wasn’t asking to be a dick. It was genuine happiness on his face.
“I did. Congratulations” Aizawa nodded, looking over at you as he spoke trying to said as excited as he could muster.
“Thanks” you smiled back at him, a brief look of sadness flashing on your face before it was replaced by happiness as Midnight asked you:
”So who is it? Another pro?”
”It is actually” You smiled fondly, a blush on your cheeks as you looked to be thinking. Aizawa did not like that look on your face “I meet him while on a case about two years ago. We’ve been dating a year this past February. He asked me to marry him a few days ago and I said yes”
”Spill, girl!” Mic said impatient, looking so excited to hear who it was. “Who is he? What’s his name!?!?”
”I’m getting married to Edgeshot” you blushed as you smiled. A look in your eyes that told Aizawa that you were in love.
A look Aizawa did not like. A look you once held for only him, but he had let you go. This is what he wanted after all. For you to move on and find someone that could make you happy because that’s what you deserve.
Midnight whistled impressed “So the rumors were true about suspected dating. Nice!”
You laughed at her comment, saying something that Aizawa didn’t hear. Too lost in thought at what could had been if he had let himself be happy. Soon the conversation changed, thankfully. You all talked about cases you’ve done, the teachers talked about how working at UA was. It wasn’t until you and Midnight got up to go to the bathroom that Mic turned around to look at Aizawa with a knowing look.
“You okay?” It was a short and simple question, concern in his tone of voice.
Aizawa was far from okay. He had not expected his night to start off by seeing you. He had wanted to see you for three years, only ever seeing you on tv or magazines. He was so happy when you showed up, oh how he had missed you and your presence. He had been blindsided by your engagement. He had told himself that it’s what he wanted, for you to move on, but it hurt like hell. That should be him that you were getting married to you. Him that made you happy. Him that made you feel so in love that you were so giddy. But he had ruined that.
”No” Aizawa sighed, downing the glass of liquor in his hand that he had been holding the whole time. He wanted more.
Mic gave him a sad look, understanding what he felt. Mic had always known that you loved Aizawa and that Aizawa loved you back. Fear was the thing holding him back, depression, survivors guilt, and anxiety. Aizawa had built himself to not be capable of accepting happiness. It hurt so fucking much.
The night ended shortly after that, with everyone paying their tabs. You ended up paying for his and Mic’s with the excuse of an apology for not being around more. When it came time to split up to go home, you surprisingly didn’t head towards the same direction Aizawa was going.
“Do you not live this way anymore?” He asked confused as he watched you type something on your phone. Mic had already headed out, along with the rest of the teacher that had came.
“I don’t actually” you looked up at him with a calm expression and shook your head. “I actually live with Shinya now”
“Oh,” Aizawa said surprised, not having expected for your relationship to be at that stage yet. What did he expect? You were engaged to the man for Christ sake.
Before he could ask you anything else, a nice four door car pulled up in front of you both. He could tell by the smile on your face who it was. Sure enough, a head of grey hair stepped out of the vehicle and towards both of them.
“There he is” You said so fondly, a sparkle in your eyes that was so painfully obvious to him.
Edgeshot was shorter than Aizawa, him being 6’0 and Edgeshot being 5’7. The man did take care of his appearance more than he did. An air of confidence surrounded him, the man was not intimidated by size.
“Hey sweetness” The grey headed man spoke so lovingly to you. It made Aizawa feel like he was intruding. Aizawa looked away when Edgeshot placed a hand on your waist so intimately.
“You got here just in time, you never make a lady wait” you giggled, flirting with him so openly. Aizawa didn’t miss the blush on the man’s face.
“I would never make you wait” Edgeshot replied smiling down at you before he looked over to Aizawa. Just now realizing they had company “oh, hey Eraserhead. Thanks for keeping her company”
Aizawa tried so hard not to sound awkward, he really did “Yeah. I’m about to head home”
”It was good to see you, Sho!” You called out after him, you tone so happy it made his heart clench.
“See you around” Aizawa mumbled, not completely sure if you heard him or not as he walked away. He had his hands in his pockets as he walked a couple of steps away for you. He tried so hard to not look back, but he did anyway. When he did he caught a glimpse of a kiss you and your fiancé shared before he opened the car door for you. Aizawa looked away quickly and continued his way down the street.
He should be happy for you. After all, that’s what he wanted. For you to move on and find someone else. So why couldn’t he feel happy for you? Why did his heart hurt so bad that his usually dry eyes were stinging with tears. Tears that he would not shed, because he didn’t deserve to feel bad for himself. This happened because of him and his fear.
He had sacrificed his own chance of happiness because he was scared. And now there wasn’t anything he could do to change it.