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Pass the Chips-n-Dip

Summary:

Bill is weakened by the effects of Weirdmagedon, leaving him only strong enough to possess a vessel. Though he's still trying his best to get on Dipper's nerves in every way he possibly can.

Chapter 1: The Devil Wears Prada and Evil Drives a Jeep

Chapter Text

A dark voice whispers in the void, “Finally… It’s been so long since I had a body, and seeing as though my powers were waning, I needed time to get them back… Time, and a weak little human body to house them while they grow…” a dark hand waves across a picture of a large blue and green marble; Earth.

“Of course!! Where better to get a body that can get back at the Pines twins… than near their little summer retreat…” The voice opened a portal to show a sixteen year-old boy with dirty blonde hair, a winning smile and such bright blue eyes.

The boy was left alone, his friends all went off to do something else at the moment, leaving him to play with his phone; completely unaware of the demon slipping into his skull and taking over. The boy’s soul was consumed by the demon, returning his magic to a basic level.

Bill dropped the trivial device from his hands and left the boy’s friend’s house, quickly finding his home, and dropping in front of the TV and looking for reality TV shows. Quickly noticing the large brunette woman who walked into the room.

“Kenneth? You’re home early, how was the party.”

“Kenneth… What an awful name…” he drawled. “My name is Bill, ma’am.”

The woman frowned, “Is that your new nickname sweetie? Oh I swear you have a new one very week. Don’t you like your name?”

He turned and frowned at the woman, spitting out a few bloodied teeth as newer, sharper ones grew in, “No. It’s an awful name. Do you hate your child so much that you would name him ‘Kenneth’?” The woman backed away in horror, muttering about how he wasn’t her son. “Thank you for noticing ‘mother’. Your son has been tossed into the void. I’ve taken over him. And soon, I will take over you too!! Slleps ykoops, slleps ykoops, SLLEPS YKOOPS!!!” the woman screamed as Bill erased her mind of everything, effectively making her a slave to his will. However; it was too much, the woman fell over, blood dripping from her eyes, ears, nose and mouth.

“Consider yourself lucky that I even need you for my plan to work.” He stalked off into the other rooms, leaving the unconscious woman on the ground. Bill turned to an odd area of the room. “Ah, Pine tree… Been a while hasn’t it? Miss me?” he swiped at the throat of Dipper’s ghostly form, only for the boy to disappear.

---

“Dipper, are you ok?” Mabel shook her brother until he was sitting up in his bed, sweating bullets. He panted hard, nearly crying into his sister’s shoulder. The smell of blood still overpowering him.

“H-he’s back…”

“What do you mean he’s back? Who’s he?” Mabel got a look of realization before smiling, and Waddles snorted, putting his front hooves on the bed “Was it Danny? Did he come back? Oh Dipper this is great new-”

“Bill, Mabel, Bill is back.”

Her smile turned frightened and she grew worried, “How do you know?”

“I-I saw it… He took over some kid, and… he possessed his mom…”

“Dipper, how are you sure it wasn’t a dream?” she hugged her twin.

“H-he tried to choke me…” he turned on the light and looked in their bedside mirror at the large dark fingerprints on his neck. Not quite bruises, just… marks, “Holy shit…”

“Dipper!” Mabel scolded his language. Waddles snorted and hid under the bed.

“Dipper, Mabel, what are you two still doing up?” Their mother walked into the room, Mabel jumping from Dipper’s bed into her own before the door was even fully open.

“W-we’re just excited for next week.”

“Yeah, we were talking about what we were going to do this summer.”

“Well… alright… don’t stay up too late, you still have the last week of school to get through.” She blew them both a kiss and shut the door.

“How are we gonna explain this to Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford?”

“Well… we have to tell them, so why not just outright say it? Well… once they’re calm, and sitting… Maybe we should tie them up?”

“I’ll practice my knots.” Mabel said cheerfully, already practicing her hog tying with some yarn and a couple of teddy bears beside her bed.

Dipper stared at the ceiling and sighed, going back to sleep.

---

“Don’t worry Pine Tree… I won’t give you any nightmares just yet… Sleep sweetly, quietly, and blissfully ignorant. And I’ll just give the nightmares to you while you’re awake.”

---

Dipper was sitting on a meadow, over-looking a field of frolicking gnomes, and unicorns. He was playing poker with the multi-bear. Or, go-fish. Maybe old maid. He was sitting on someone’s lap as he played, never turning back to look at them, but was calmed by their arms around his waist, and the metallic scent of a jewelry store.

“Lay down that two of hearts…” a voice whispered softly.

He gladly did so, and frustrated the multi-bear to no end. Dipper cheered, “Thanks for helping-” he tried to turn his head, only for two black, gloved hands to hold his face pointed towards the meadow of oddities.

“Why don’t you go help those gnomes over there, much more interesting than me Pine Tree.”

Dipper whirled his head around, expecting to see Bill, but rather, he saw Mabel… above him, then Waddles’s snout being rubbed all over his face.

“Dipper, what are you doing on the floor?”

“I-I don’t know…”

“Well get up silly, we have to go to school, ooooh were you dreaming about-”

“Not Danny, Mabel.” He picked himself off of the floor, and went into the bathroom to change. He spent the morning silent through most of breakfast, then through the ride to school, then through all his classes. In that time those dreams were all that was playing through his head. Over and over, on repeat. He was sitting and waiting for the bus to take him home, when he saw him… sitting on the side of the road in a jeep, Zombie-Mom at the wheel of the car, and the boy sat in the passenger seat, smirking at the boy across the street.

Though he was so far, Dipper watched his mouth move and heard the whisper right beside his ear; “Enjoy that little show last night Pine Tree? I can guarantee, this won’t be the last you see of me…”

The bus came and Mabel dragged a terrified Dipper in it. The terrified teen looked out of the window to find the jeep still there, and Bill staring straight at him.

“M-mabel…” Dipper pointed to the jeep, not blinking or moving his eyes from it, in fear that the proof of his (unfortunate) sanity would slip away. Bill turned away as Mabel looked, but she could tell by Dipper’s look that that had to be him.

As the bus drove away, the jeep drove in the opposite direction.

“He really is back…” Mabel whispered in slight fear.

“What are we gonna do? Last time was hard enough, and he wasn’t after us so much as trying to get past us. Now we’re his prime targets!” Dipper tried to pull the entirety of his blue pine tree hat over his head, but opted instead for holding it and covering his fearful face with his forearms.

“Maybe he’s still weak, I mean, we destroyed him Dipper.”

Dipper looked up and pulled the copy of journal 1 out of his bag, “Yeah, I mean, he was completely gone. That should’ve killed him right down to the last- Ah here it is. ‘In my studies of the other dimensions, I have discovered that all souls in both plains are… reused… Killing one form of being in one world, merely transfers the consciousness and soul toanother- goddammit!!” He slammed the packet shut as he and Mabel got off the bus at their stop. “He’s not gone. He was just trapped in some other dimension for a while… How does he still have his memories? From what it says; memories and experience are erased when being transferred…”

“Well, he calls the other dimension ‘The Nightmare Realm’ and he is a dream demon. Maybe your memories of him were enough to make him remember? Oh or he had them packaged away in a dream, like horcruxes!!” Mabel squealed as she dug through Dipper’s bag and pulled out a Harry Potter book.

“Maybe…”

“Dipper~, Mabel~.” Their mom sang, “I know you two just got home but, um when are you taking your finals?” they noticed the phone that was in her hand, the receiver covered.

They looked at each other, then at her, “We already took them…?”

“Oh good, how would you two feel about skipping the rest of the week and going on over to your Grunkles’? Cause your Grunkle Ford really wants to show you his new-” she put the phone back to her ear, “oh what did you call it? Oh I can’t say that… No it’s just difficult to pronounce. Oh just something he invented.”

Dipper’s eyes widened and he started twitching while Mabel flipped the nearby table before stomping up to their room, looking tired and stressed all of the sudden.

“Mabel?” Mrs. Pines looked up to the stairs as Mabel retreated and Dipper replied in monotone, “Yeah, sure let’s go. Yay.” Then followed his sister in a similar manner.

The woman slowly put the phone up to her ear. “I’m pretty sure that’s a yes from both.”

“Oh good, I was getting worried once I heard the crashing”

“Well, Mabel flipped a table. There was nothing on it this time, so I’m thankful for that.”

---

“AAAHHHH” Mabel screamed into her pillow, “WHY IS BILL BACK?”

“I don’t know, but we can already determine its some form of revenge plot.” Dipper clicked the button of his pen as he read the journal copy, having pretty much memorized the other two, number 1 is the only one he hasn’t browsed through completely.

“UGH, I’M JUST GOING TO SLEEP, I’M TOO TIRED.” She flopped into bed and curled up in her nest of stuffed animals, blankets, sweaters and glitter.

“Would probably be easier if you weren’t yelling.”

She flipped in her bed to face him, a small glare directed at him, “Shut yer trap, Dipper.” She said in her best Grunkle Stan voice. She gave him a small smile before getting up. “Actually, I think I’m going to eat something before bed.”

“I’ll get something later…”

“Okay, don’t fall asleep with it on your face again, or you might end up with Bill printed on your face.”

“Haha Mabel.” As she left, Dipper felt his eyelids get heavy, he flipped through a few more pages, and before he knew it, he was asleep.

---

Bill was sitting at a desk, drawing pictures of Dipper and Mabel, some were beautiful and accurate: those were soon full of holes and tears. Whereas some were crude and gory from the get go. Dipper floated silently away from Bill, not wanting anymore marks on his person.

Bill noticed him anyway, “How do you keep finding me…”

He turned to the projection and swiped at him, not able to reach the boy this time. The demon growled, showing several sharp teeth that were coming in and a bloodied mouth from where he’s bitten his lips with anticipation. Kenneth’s teeth were in bloody spots all around the room. “Get down here, Pine Tree.” Dipper noticed his hands are covered by black gloves, but he could still see the shimmer of fresh blood at the finger tips. And the smell of iron and blood still filled the room.

“You think you’ll get away this time don’t you? Well you WON’T!!” he jumped as high as he could, then cursed as he still couldn’t reach. “I am so sick of you two… Ruining my plans, KILLING ME!!! But it’ll all be better, once you return to Gravity Falls…” Bill gave a bloodied grin as he threw a blast of faded blue flame at the boy’s form, trapping him in a dream again.

Dipper was studying the eyebats when he came about this relic. It was large, triangular and golden.

“Reality is an illusion…”

He walked up to it and stroked a side, trying to see if it was real, only for his hand to slip through, and trigger a trap.

“The universe is a hologram.”

He ran out of the eyebats’ cave as a huge eyeball rolled after him, his breath was short, his legs were burning, and he felt like he was getting heavier.

He jumped into a ditch and watched the eye run over where he was without hitting him, and roll into a huge golden-brick triangle. It blinked, then donned a floating black top hat and bow tie, looming over the ditch where he was. Leaning closer as he heard another whisper.

“Buy gold.”

He was consumed by the demon, and woke up, sweating and confused. He picked up the book in his lap and saw that it was 3:00 a.m. He sighed and set the book on his nightstand.

“Bye… Pine Tree"