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Summary:

John Marston is a man on the run, but not from the law. Instead he's running from the responsibility of being a father and caring for his family.
After the birth of his son, Jack, he took off for almost a whole year. What was he up to during that time?

Notes:

You can also find this on Wattpad under the name @kusakabel and on Tumblr under @mediocrecowboyhat

I apologize in advance for any mistakes, English is not my first language <3

Chapter Text

The saloon is packed with customers tonight, keeping you on your toes and busy at all times. Drinks are flowing in streams and slurred laughter fills the bar as you try to navigate through the crowd without bumping into anyone. You might not be able to catch a single break, but that doesn't mean you don't welcome the work.

By the end of the night, you will perhaps be paid a bit more than the usual amount with all these tips you're receiving. Eli, the bartender and owner of the saloon is sliding over some shots of whisky your way and you quickly place them atop your tray.

As you make your way to the table to give them their order, you skillfully avoid hitting shoulders and backs. Most of the guests are considerate enough to step aside when they see you coming their way, but some of them are too drunk to tell their right from their left.

"You is always a sight for sore eyes!", one of the regulars, George, exclaims gleefully once you reach the table with the liquor.

"You only say that, because I'm the one giving you drinks.", you reply with a soft chuckle and put down the shot glass infront of him.

"Nah, I mean it!", he protests, his half-lidded eyes staying glued to your face. Seems like he already has had a drink or two too many. "You is a real beauty. A real fine lady."

"Thanks, George."

It's not a rarity to have customers compliment you in this line of work. Sometimes it's an attempt to persuade you into lowering the price for them, but other times it's genuine. Then there are those who tend to get a bit too handsy for your comfort, but it's usually only a handful that steps out of line and not your regulars.

"Are you stayin' all night here, Miss?", one of George's friends asks you, a hint of worry accompanying his words. His name is Perry.

"Wouldn't wanna miss out on all the fun.", you answer, your lips curling up into a smirk.

"Just be careful when you get home, yeah? There's been some nasty stuff happenin' 'round these parts. I'm talkin' robberies, murders."

The man's concern is endearing and you hold the tray close to your chest as you shoot him a reassuring smile.

"I pity any poor bastard who decides to rob me.", you comment between some laughter.

It's the truth. There isn't much you can call your own. With the two jobs, that you only somewhat manage to juggle, you barely scrape by. The cabin your late parents have left you might be small and humble, but it sure comes with a lot of bills. Everytime you receive a letter from the bank regarding the debts, your stomach turns upside down.

"Still. Be careful out there.", Perry insists, the look in his green eyes urgent.

"If ya need someone to walk you home, you just come to me!", George drawls, a lopsided grin tugging at the corners of his mouth and you give his shoulder a friendly pat.

"I'll take you up on it if I ever find myself in need of a chaperone."

With that you walk back to Eli to get out the next round of drinks. As you place the tray onto the counter and reach for the glasses, he had already prepared for you, his hand shoots forward, shooing yours away.

"You have been workin' non-stop. Go get a break.", he barks, his voice harsh, but the look on his wrinkled face gentle.

"I can go on a little longer.", you argue back and reach for the glasses again, but he swats your hands away again.

"As your boss, I insist."

The two of you stare each other down a while longer before he breaks away from your gaze and calls another waitress over to take care of the order. As much as you would have liked to continue, you must admit that he's not quite wrong. You indeed have been running around without taking a breather and now that you think about it, you can feel your feet ache.

Sighing, you walk over to the back wall and plop down onto a couch there. The cushions are soft, but beyond worn-out and the springs of the couch are boring into your back uncomfortably. A woman sits down by your side, a lit cigarette tugged between her slim fingers and you smile at the sight of her.

"Didn't know you were working tonight, Cora.", you say and she takes a long drag from her cigarette.

"Eh, might as well have stayed at home." Smoke leaves her mouth while she speaks. "Been tryin' to chat up that feller over there, but he ain't interested at all. Same as last night. And the night before."

She motions with her chin towards the counter and you follow her gaze. There stands a young man with a lean built and chin long black hair. It's messy, almost unkempt and melts together with the equally black hat he's wearing. His eyes are fixed onto the drink infront of him and the way he's leaned forward makes him seem anything but inviting.

"I haven't seen him around.", you admit, assuming that he must be visiting the saloon outside of your shifts or you've simply been too busy to notice him.

"He's here almost everyday, burnin' all his money for liquor. We thought he'd be an easy target, but no." A frustrated noise escapes Cora's throat and her red curls sway from side to side as she shakes her head in disapproval. "He has a nice voice though."

"He's a fool if he's saying no to you."

"You're too sweet, dear."

She nudges your shoulder with a chuckle and you sit together for a while longer before you stand up with a grunt. Your feet don't hurt anymore, but they sure feel sore. It's going to be hell walking all the way to the hotel tomorrow morning, but you push that thought away for now.

Once you're back at the counter and receiving drinks from Eli, you can't help but let your eyes wander. You give the stranger, Cora has pointed out, a subtle glance to get a better look at him. He's handsome with the shadow of a beard on the lower half of his face and a deep crease between his dark eyebrows. It doesn't look like he's in the mood for light conversation, so you decide to better leave him be.

Then your gaze falls onto the holster on his hips and the revolver tugged inside it. It's not an uncommon sight to see armed men in this town, but that gun looks pretty used with all the scratches and small dents. It has you wondering who exactly this man is, but it's not your place to question your customer's backgrounds. As long as they behave and pay for their orders, you don't care who or what they are.

The rest of the night goes by smoothly, the air inside growing thick with all these people and the smell of booze and sweat. At some point you excuse yourself to Eli and step out through the back door. Filling your lungs with fresh air clears off the fog in your head and your hand rests on the doorknob to head back inside.

A scream has you freeze in place, immediately recognizing the voice. Fear grips you and you quickly follow the source. It sounds like there's a struggle happening in the side alley and you lift your long skirt to not get it dirty in the muddy puddle, that you hop over.

There you find your dear friend Cora trying to push a man away and failing. Next thing you know, a harsh slap cuts through the air and the woman comes tumbling down, holding her cheek. Without waiting a heartbeat longer, you stomp over to the pair and shove him away by his chest.

"What's the matter with you?", you bark, voice raised and echoing along the brick walls around you.

"I paid!", the man slurs, swaying from side to side.

"You ain't paid to hit her, you goddamn animal!"

Even when he squares up his shoulders, towering over you with a menacing glare, you stand your ground. He's unknown to you, clearly not someone from this town. It could be someone passing by, staying only for tonight and then leaving again. Suddenly you recall Perry's words.

Robberies, murders.

A shiver runs down your spine, but you can't back down now. If this turns into a fight, you surely won't be able to win, but it might give Cora enough time to get help.

"You watch your mouth, you who-"

The familiar click of a gun cuts him off and you watch in surprise as the stranger from the bar counter presses the barrel of his revolver against the man's temple. He raises his hands in surrender and backs off, almost tripping over his own feet.

"No need to get aggressive now, friend.", he stutters, his words being followed by a nervous chuckle.

"I ain't your friend.", the stranger with the gun says. He truly does have a nice voice. "Now get your ass outta here if you wanna keep that ugly head of yours."

That sounds anything but an empty threat. All in all, it doesn't even come across as one, but more as a promise. Quickly, the drunk man falls into a sprint and disappears around the corner. With a relieved sigh leaving your lips, you help Cora back on her feet and inspect her face. Her cheek is bright red, but it doesn't look like it will leave a bruise.

"You okay?", you ask her and she only nods. That's when you turn to the stranger, who is sliding his gun back into it's holster. "Thank you so much, sir."

"It's nothin'.", is all he answers, before vanishing into the night.

"How mysterious.", Cora comments, her tone dripping with sarcasm and you get her back inside.

After that dangerous encounter, you find yourself unable to calm down again. Describing yourself to be on edge is the understatement of the century and throwing yourself back into work doesn't seem to be helping. No jokes with the guests and no running around with a full tray of glasses and bottles is managing to keep you distracted.

The stranger with the revolver and the nice voice hasn't returned to the saloon either and you catch yourself being slightly disappointed about it. At first you thought he was just another sad soul trying to drink away whatever is haunting him, but there is definitely more to it. Maybe you will see him again on your next shift.

Every now and then you go to the back to check on Cora. It's not the first time one of her customers lashed out on her, but that doesn't mean it doesn't upset her.

"That nasty son of a bitch better not show up here again. I'll talk to Eli about it.", you hiss through gritted teeth.

"It happens.", she murmurs while pressing a cold, wet cloth to the side of her face.

"It shouldn't." There is a long pause and your gaze falls on the clock hanging on the wall. "I'll ask if I can finish earlier tonight and then walk you home."

Her eyes go wide in disbelief and she hastily shakes her head. "Absolutely not! I can handle myself just fine and I don't wanna be the reason why you won't get full pay tonight."

"I would have ended in an hour or two anyways, so it won't make much of a difference."

Before she can argue some more with you, you already have a hand on the doorknob and make your way to your boss. It doesn't take long to solve the matters and he tells you, that you can pick up the money some time tomorrow. With that you get Cora and throw your coat over your shoulders, before stepping out into the cold night.

Luckily she doesn't live too far away, having a room rented on the edge of town. As you walk on the side of the muddy road, the noises and piano music from the saloon fade away into the background. Now it's just the sound of grass and leaves crunching under your boots and the soft breeze tugging at your clothes.

Once you reach the porch, she turns around to give you a worried look. Her hand rests on the front door.

"What about you?", she asks, her eyebrows furrowed together. "Do you maybe wanna stay here for the night?"

"I'll be fine.", you answer with a wave of a hand, attempting to come off as casual as possible.

"Sure? I don't feel too good 'bout sendin' you home all by yourself."

You take her hand in yours and give it a reassuring squeeze, your eyes sparkling with resolve.

"I promise I'll be fine."

For a long time, Cora doesn't respond, not making a single sound and you fear she might drag you inside the house to keep you safe. Then she let's out a deep sigh as her resistance crumbles.

"Alright, but I'll check up on you tomorrow mornin'. You're workin' at the hotel?"

"Of course."

"Good. I'll see you there then."

With that she disappears inside the house and you make your way off the porch. You don't mind walking back home all by yourself. It's nothing unusual, having done it countless of times before, whenever you worked the night at the saloon. Tonight though, you feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

Claiming that the encounter with the man in the alley didn't leave you restless would be a blatant lie. The voice in the back of your mind whispers frightening words into your ear, reminding you that that son of a bitch is still out there. And what if he's upset at you for interrupting him?

Quickly you shake your head in an attempt to get these thoughts away from you and protectively wrap your coat tighter around your body. The cool breeze is now cutting through the fabric of your clothes, sending an uncomfortable shiver down your spine.

"You're being silly.", you mumble to yourself as you catch yourself speeding up.

Your small cabin is located a bit outside of town, but not too far away. It's a 10 minute walk by foot and anyone rarely uses the road to it. Right now even, you don't meet a single soul on the way and no matter how hard you try to listen for it, there is no sound of footsteps or hooves.

But still, you only allow yourself to finally relax and let out a breath of relief, once you're inside your own four walls again. It's pitch black in there with it being a new moon tonight and you immediately begin to light some of the candles that are placed around.

Starting up the hearth in the middle won't be of much use this late into the night and you pour yourself a glass of whisky for your nerves. A dry chuckle escapes your throat and you run a hand over your face. Now that you're back home, you feel a bit ridiculous for panicking so much earlier.

In a few quick sips, the glass is empty and you set it aside into the sink. Afterwards, it doesn't take long for you to slip into your sleeping garments and blow out all the candles. You toss and turn for quite a while before you fall into a deep slumber.

The first rays of the morning sun shine through the slit between the window curtains, hitting your face. Cracking a yawn, you sit up and stretch your aching muscles. As much as you don't want to leave the cozy warmth of your sheets, you force yourself out of bed anyways and light the hearth in the middle.

The kitchen, eating and sleeping area are all one big room with your bed and closet on the opposite side of the entrance. There is a tub in the corner with a cabinet. That part of the house is being separated by a foldable room divider. It's scarcely decorated in here.

A photograph of your parents wedding is hanging on the wall next to a family picture of the three of you. You were a toddler when it was taken and you distinctly remember your mother always telling you that you simply wouldn't sit still in her lap, nearly robbing the poor photographer of his last nerve.

The skull of a stag with mighty antlers is hanging right above the front door. Your father wasn't much of a hunter, that stag being the only animal he had ever managed to take down. He swore it was due to his own skills, but your mother always claimed it had been by sheer luck.

Without wasting any time, you get ready to start your day and make your way to your second job. The road feels safer now that it's not pitch black anymore and the buzzing of the town in the distance fills you with some more security too. Even without having to jog, it doesn't take too long to reach the hotel in the center.

Once you take a break you could maybe walk over to the saloon on the opposite side to pick up last night's payment. Almost at the same time as you, Cora enters the building and her entire face lights up in relief when her eyes fall on you.

"Ah! You're alive.", she exclaims with a wide smile and you clutch your non-existent pearls in feigned offense.

"You didn't really think I'd die, did you?"

Truth be told, a small part of yourself believed you would die yesterday.

"Of course not." Her voice is higher than usually, giving away the fact she is lying. "But I was worried. A little."

"There's really nothing to worry about.", you reassure her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze and she huffs.

"Maybe, but Perry said-"

"Perry says a lot.", you quickly interrupt her, not wanting the thought to marinade too much in her mind and giving her a reason to be afraid. "And you know that he can get a bit paranoid sometimes."

"I know, I know." A sigh leaves her lips as she fidgets with her hands. "But I've heard talk from others too."

"Cora, don't." Your voice is filled with resolve. "Listen, why don't we have a drink tonight? After my shift here? We'll talk, hang out and just think about other things."

For a moment is looks like she is about to argue further about the topic, but then she nods slowly and you feel a victorious smile spread across your face.

"I'll see you at the saloon then.", she answers and squeezes your hands before leaving the hotel again.

Right after that, something stirs in the corner of your eyes and you see Lilian, your coworker. Her shoulder is leaned against the doorframe leading to the back where the bathing rooms are.

"Got a customer in the back, askin' for a deluxe bath. You free?"

"Of course."

With that you get to work.