Chapter Text
He looked so happy.
More happy than he ever did with you.
With one hand on her ass and the other on the back of her neck, pulling her closer.
Deeper.
You feel sick, you might just throw up if you keep watching. So, you stumble out of the bar. The bar you just walked into- the bar he invited you to.
You would've called the cab that just dropped you off to come pick you back up, but having no phone and less than a dollar in your purse that wasn't an option. Never should’ve trusted him when he said he would pay. Deep breaths, you tell yourself, as if your knees aren't threatening to buckle beneath you, let you crawl into a ball and sink into the damp concrete that your old heels stood upon.
Couldn’t stay here to drown in your heartbreak for too long. Not with that dress you're wearing or with most of the street lights being busted, leaving you to look down at what seemed to look like a never ending road of doom.
You almost break your ankle as you stumble to the closest payphone, fumbling with your purse, your hands shaking from the cold bite of the wind clashing against your bare arms. Pennsylvania weather was never kind.
Your quivering hands pick up the phone, bringing it to the crook in between your neck and shoulder, setting your ear up to the speaker. Almost dropping your quarter due to their tears spilling past your eyes being an obstacle to your view, you successfully inserted the coin into the slot.
One try at this, you think to yourself as your fingers hover over the numbered buttons. Last you have in your purse is a dime and some stray lint, and you don't want to do the walk of shame back to that bar you just walked out of to ask someone to borrow their phone. The bar he is in.
First option, mom. Could never fail, right? She’d comfort you, hold you as you weeped, drop random ‘Oh, no he did not.’s and ‘Screw him!’s as you ranted your heart away. One problem, she’s in Minnesota.
Second option, your brother. But, it is like 1:30 in the morning and he is anything but a light sleeper, took after your dad in that aspect. Three missiles, 8 rounds of fireworks and a magnitude 9 earthquake wouldn't wake that guy up, so onto your last option…
Jill.
She’s said multiple times to call her when you need to, “You're never a bother.” she insisted. You think it's her attempt of trying to make you feel better about the time you butt called her unknowingly while you were… busy. Took her a few minutes to realise what was really going on on the other side of the line before she’d hung up.
Gotta get this right, you repeat to yourself in your head, one chance. Two fours or three of them? The line rings anyway, grasping the cold telephone between your hands, bringing it impossibly closer to your ear as your free hand hugs your elbow, trying to bring yourself some warmth in the chill.
You could hear the line connect, even though she was yet to speak. Hearing a soft groan and some rustling, she finally talks. “Jill speaking.” You could hear the rasp in her voice, she’d clearly been fast asleep, probably dreaming about the B.S.A.A or whatever special agents dream about.
“Hello?” She tried again, you forgot to respond the first time. The tears cascading down your cheeks picking up in speed, your free hand now covering your mouth, attempting to block the whimpers leaving your lips.
“Jill…” is all you could muster up as you swallowed, your voice delicate, wavery and quiet. The bright moon glistened off of the metal surface in front of you. You could see yourself in it, your blurry reflection taunting you, mocking you. You could've sworn it was smiling back at you, but it was probably just the crap material and tears merging shit into a blur.
Your name exited her mouth, her tone very clearly puzzled through the hoarseness of her voice. “What's going on?” You could hear a faint click, presumably of a lamp being turned on as she awaited your response. What were you meant to respond with? ‘Oh, just walked in on my boyfriend shoving his tongue down a bitches mouth after he invited me to have drinks. No biggie. Also, I don't have a phone, money, a ride, a reason to live-’ Yeah, that should sum it up, right?
“He- My boyfriend- ex… boyfriend? I just- fuck!” Is what you opted for, most of your words coming out as a mumbled ramble as you frantically carded your fingers through your hair. “Woah just- okay, hold on. Where are you?” She stuttered, already getting up and grabbing the hoodie that was slung over the end of her bed, grabbing her shoes from nearby and sitting down, wedging her phone between her ear and muscled shoulder so she could still hear you and talk to you.
Words began tumbling from your mouth, the crap phone quality plus the utter speed you were talking made Jill pause to cut you off. “Wait- wait. I can't hear you, doll. Slow down.” You took a deep breath as your fingernails dug into your palm, a shit grounding method you picked up a while back, stretching all the way back to that party your… boyfriend? You're not sure anymore. But, back to when he dragged you to a random house, didn’t introduce you to anyone, got blackout drunk and dug the words ‘You’re driving me home, don’t fucking drink a drop.’ into your head.
Maybe there were signs before tonight.
“Some random bar down on Trenton.” Your breath was heavy with emotion, as if every inhale you took was giving you another reason to crumble into a ball and just stay there.
-.-.-.-
Your ass hurt from the concrete curb you were sitting on as you waited for Jill’s arrival, your poor dress was sure to have holes in it by the time she arrived. Shortly after, headlights blinded you as a car rolled up. You stood up, dusting off the pebbles that threatened to defy physics and mend into your skin entirely.
Jill stepped out of her 4 wheeler, not even bothering with closing the door.
You were her main focus right now.
“Are you okay?” Her hands felt so warm on your icy shoulders, her eyes peering into yours, trying to find the answer to her own question. Seeing her just made you bawl again, Jill pulled you in tightly, she couldn't care less if her shirt was stained with the makeup you had on.
Her eyes drifted down to your hair, her fingers acting as a built-in brush as they passed through your soft hair as her other hand drifted back to your bare shoulder. “You’re freezing. What are you doing out here in a mini dress, doll?” You stepped back slightly as she moved away from the embrace, taking off her jacket she had on her to put around you.
You sniffled, looking up at her, flinching just barely at the unexpected action of her wiping your tears away, subsequently smearing your already ruined mascara just that bit more. “You were right about athletes. They’re trouble.” You all but squeaked out with your shaky tone.
“What’d he do now?” The soft pinch of her eyebrows and purse of her lips didn’t go missed by you as you averted your gaze. Were you ready to even talk about tonight? Had it properly even hit you? “We don’t have to talk about it, you know?” Her fingers tucked a stray piece of hair that blew out of place from the wind back to where it’s meant to be. You nodded slightly in response, opting to not speak and most likely break down again.
-.-.-.-
A few close calls of your face first hand meeting the concrete later, you were in the car, listening to whatever was being spewed on the radio. Weather forecast this upcoming weekend, what’s going on in the area- and your favourite, what movies are dropping this month.
Well, they more so were his favourite.
Not yours.
“Did you call me off a pay phone?” Jill spoke up randomly, your hand balled up in a fist as your elbow lay against the car door. You didn’t bother to look at her, too engrossed in the way the rain had started to pick up again, falling against the window so peacefully.
“Forgot my phone at home, was in the cab before I realised, so thought i’d count on… Callum. Big mistake, clearly.” You swallowed down the bile threatening to rise in your throat as his name left the tip of your tongue. It felt as if the letters of his name were slicing your mouth, leaving the taste of blood scattering in your taste buds.
Or maybe it was because you were biting down so hard on the insides of your cheeks.
Her eyes trickled towards you, you looked so peaceful looking into the night sky like that. She could see the way your eyes twitch when a car passes by with their bright headlights.
It was peaceful.
-.-.-.-
“Here, sit up there. I think I have some makeup wipes.” Her voice became strained at the end of her sentence as she bent down, her knees popping as she rummaged through the cabinets below the sink. You did her a service, wordlessly sitting up on the counter like she told you.
“Coconut and hibiscus…” She whispered, standing back up as she inspected the unopened packaging in her hands. “I literally don’t remember buying these.” You made eye contact once again, seeing the puzzled look in her facial expressions made you grin. She took the opportunity to stand between your open legs dangling off the counter. Ripping the cheap plastic lid off of the packaging, she brought one out, looking back at you. Your breath hitched slightly at the contact, subconsciously closing your eyes as she began to wipe the remnants of your makeup off.
“I think it was Rebecca, honestly. She always comes over for a sleepover and leaves at least something.” She tutted, throwing the used wipe to the side, leaning over to grab her moisturiser she uses daily, squirting just a bit onto her fingers before delicately applying it to your soft skin, the bite of the cold was long gone by now. “Mine now, though. We made a deal.” You open your eyes again to see her looking at you, admiring you, almost. As you both locked eyes it felt you couldn’t stop the corners of your mouth from twitching up into a daft smile.
“I don't know what he did…” She started, speaking in a low tone as the eye contact continued between you two. “…but I know you don’t deserve to cry over him.” Her hands subconsciously pet your knees, drifting to your lower thigh just slightly. “Thank you.” A whisper is the loudest you could speak as it already felt like someone had taken your words and thrown them into a blender. You’re glad you could say those words without accidently reciting an ancient Greek spell or something.
“I have some spare clothes in my room, go pick whatever you want. I’ll wait on the couch for you?” The way she said it left room for disagreement, she wasn’t going to blame you if you just wanted to go straight to bed, or even go home.
But, you couldn’t go home.
Not with him.
“Yeah, I'll meet you there.” A little smile was her response as she held her hand out, letting you down with a little hop off the counter. Thank God you took off your heels before, you would’ve just broken both your ankles and your ribs.
How? I don’t know, those shoes are a death wish- they’d find a way.
-.-.-.-
“Do you get your clothes made by a secret wizard that specialises in the most comfortable fabric in the universe?” You giggled softly, emerging from her bedroom in a pair of her sweatpants and a tank top that didn’t look too expensive or fancy. Extremely soft, though
“I got them from a secret witch, actually.” She faked pushing up invisible glasses, making your eyes roll as she pet the seat next to her, inviting you to sit, a sigh leaving from your lips as your body practically melted into the sofa. Were you extremely tired, worn out and exhausted- or was this couch actually a cloud? Regardless, your ass has been blessed by such a seat.
“You can act like you hate my banter, but I know you love it.” She spoke, you could hear her smile. You can’t lie to yourself, you liked it. You did.
You loved it.
Your head found ease on her shoulder, suddenly the tears from before had caught up to you, making your eyelids feel like 5 pound weights, also the feeling of such protection from being right near her wasn't helping you stay awake.
“Makes a good distraction.” You answered, quietly- just barely over a whisper. It did make a good distraction, and Jill would be lying if she were to say that didn't give her a sense of accomplishment. To help a friend in a hard time.
A friend.
Right.
Gotta remember that.
The room fell silent, the tv playing some bullshit romcom and the rain picking up on speed outside being the only noise present. You felt so safe, with her arm wrapped around you, listening to her breathing… you felt peaceful.
You looked down at your fingers, picking at the skin slightly as a nervous habit you've had for a while now. “I walked in on him in the bar, he was…” You shook your head before continuing, how is this even real? “He was kissing another girl.” You peeked over at her to gauge her reaction, your eyelashes slightly hiding the fact you were staring at her.
To say she was caught off guard is an understatement, her eyebrows creased as she looked to her right, down at you. “He cheated? On you?” You dont think youve heard her in such disbelief, truely. She sounded almost as confused as when Leon said he had a girlfriend, she responded with, “You aren't gay?” immediately. The whole rest of the night consisted of her asking him if he was “sure”.
Good times.
“Took my ass out of there immediately.” You responded quietly, still looking down at your nails. Even though you weren’t making eye contact with her, you could feel her eyes piercing through you.
“I can talk to him, you know?” You snorted, finally glancing her way. “And not see you for years while you serve time in jail for assault?” She went quiet for a moment before shrugging, pulling you closer and sighing out a small “worth it” under her breath. Your right hand found its way slithering over her waist, truly putting your weight into her. She didn’t mind it, though. Actually, she enjoyed it.
“Thanks for letting me stay… and comforting me- and literally everything you do.” She shook her head, brushing it off as if her company and actions were just little nothings. You took your head off her shoulder, looking up at her, your right hand now being a suggestion to her jawline, just slightly guiding her to look at you.
“I’m serious, Jill. Thank you.” Her eyes flickered over your face, trying to find any sense of insincerity, even though she knew you were being utmost genuine. “You know you don’t deserve to be treated like shit, right? I mean- damn. I could be a better boyfriend than him, and I'm a woman.” Your eyes widened slightly as she spoke, you didn’t miss the way her gaze darted over your lips. The worst part is… your brain immediately began thinking about how much you really want that.
How long have you wanted that?
She cleared her throat as she stood up, turning off the tv. “I’ll sleep in here, you take my bed?” It took you a second to get yourself together before you, too, stood up. “I’m not taking your bed.” You thought if you crossed your arms you’d become more threatening.
It did not work the way you were hoping.
“I’ll sleep on the floor if I have to.” A sigh escaped her lips and you knew you’d won, she began walking off. “I’ll bring out some blankets-“ She stopped mid way. “You look like a cute bunny when you do that with your arms by the way.”
-.-.-.-
This ceiling is super interesting- I mean… the black. The black and hey- the more black! Damn Jill and having no candles. You’ve never been very comfortable in the darkness, always scared something was to pop out or grab your feet from under whatever you were laying on. Your ex never helped with that either, always making fun of you and saying, “it’s not that serious, grow the fuck up.” then banishing you to the couch if he thought you’d annoyed him enough.
That wasn’t even your main problem. After always sleeping next to someone (minus the nights he would come back at 4am, waking you up and reeking of alcohol), it was weird sleeping alone. One pillow, one blanket, an again, very interesting ceiling.
The floorboards creaked under you as you stood up, bumping your toe against the coffee table as you cursed under your breath, continuing your walk down to her bedroom. A quiet knock is all you had in you, not wanting to wake her up but loud enough that if she was awake itd get her attention.
“Mmm, come in.” Is all you heard on the other side of the door as the hinges protested from being touched. “You good? Cold?” She’d turned on the lamp next to her, sitting up on her elbows as her eyes trailed over you. “No.. uh..”
“Can I sleep in here with you?”