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He didn't really know why he was feeling this way, to be honest.
All he knew was that he was suddenly painfully aware of all the little things that happened.
Maybe he was overthinking this, maybe he just needed a good night's sleep and he'll go back to being fine.
But the more time went on, the more he was starting to think that the chances of that happening were slim, near non existent.
The days were hazy and passed too quick. The touches he used to find comfort in felt cold.
The morning sun hit his face too harshly now, so he woke up while it was going down and stayed up with the moon.
He knew he was worrying them, and, yes he'd worry, he's his lover, that's to be expected. But he couldn't bring himself to put that thought at the front of his mind at the moment.
Because all he felt was the hollow that had somehow grown into his chest, heavy and cold and unrelenting. He only knew that he didn't plant it there and wanted it out all the same but... couldn't bring himself to act.
The show has been on for a while, and he knew he wouldn't be able to name it's title. He just needed a little noise that didn't overwhelm him, as most things do nowadays.
The emptiness inside of him is starting to become familiar, the routine, and he's lost all the same.
Two sharp knocks at this bedroom door takes his attention, he replies to come in without thinking much, and maybe that's better because otherwise he would've kept it shut and stay silent.
Jisoo slides in, so quietly that it almost feels phantom, like the demons crawling at the edges of his dreams recently.
"Can I sleep here tonight?" His voice is hopeful and hesitant, and at his core he knows that it shouldn't be like that.
He shuffles around, making plenty of space for him, a wordless grant of the question. And also because he doesn't trust his tongue to move normally right now.
The plenty space he made turns out to be of no use as Jisoo folds himself around him, belonging there in his right before the fog took over his brain.
He falls asleep with a warmth wrapped around him that seeps deep in his heart, encircling the emptiness and making it lighter, a touch he refused to acknowledge, fearing that it might leave him colder.
Even though his curtains don't let the sun in, the glow of it is enough to let him know that the world is awake.
He notices the warmth around him, the hand thrown over his stomach and the blanket being more comfortable than usual.
He hadn't even noticed that he expected it to be gone like a fleeting dream, but he can't express his gratitude in words anymore.
He lets the tears flow, flow until it reaches his lungs from his eyes, ripping out sobs from him, his entire being shaking from the force of it all.
He doesn't even notice Jisoo sliding closer, wrapping him close, letting him hide his face into his chest, hoping that he'll understand the sobs so he won't have to speak.
He doesn't know how long he cries for, held together by the arms around him, the mouth telling him, "It's okay, I'm here, I always will be, you can let it out."
The ordeal makes him feel like the emptiness living inside him had to leave physically, because by the end of it he doesn't have enough energy in him to hold himself up, letting Jisoo carry his weight.
He feels the deep inhale of Jisoo, the slow exhale.
He notices it twice more before he does it himself, though his inhale is a lot more shaky and almost hurts, he doesn't mind that.
Because the tiny space he has made, in those arms, is warm, and feels content, like he could exist here forever.
Time loses its meaning again soon, as the exhaustion creeps up and drags him under, but not before he hears the whispered words, promising him warmth and safety.
"I love you, Hannie, I always will."