Work Text:
OOOO I HAV NEEW FIC????¡?¡?’???¿¿¿¡¡ THIS VERY IFC IS FOR FUCKERS OF MONSTER ANNIVERSARY EBENTTTTT!!!!!!!! IT HAS AZIRALEL BUT WHAT WILL HE DO?? WILL HE FUCK MONSTRER????? FIND OUT IN READ!!!
HAPPY BIRTH OF DAY Q HOPE YOU FUCK MORE MONSTERS
Note: Do yoiu think Q is actually an O but becos they ar always with a hard everyone thinqs it’s aqutualy a Q?? Think abut it, Q is just O but with erection.
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Azinalel was happy and calm in his house/book/shop. H e was happy becos Crowler was with him in house/book/ass. They were both enjoying very much eachother when suddenly phone.
“Who is?” asked Azaparel but no answer. He was angry becos he had to get up and get Crowly’s blood python out of him to get the fone and that was tragedy.
When he was going to hang up to go to more importan and more wet activities the phone spoke.
“Angle axriraphale, we hav received new of retired antichrist Adams. It turns out that changing nuclear for candies is actualy VERY DANGERUSS and he didn know structure of plant of nuclears so he put the candy and caused DISASTERRRRR. We need you to go to place and inbestigate”.
Aziraphal got excited but a different kind of excited than befor because he doesn have a nuclear catastrophe kink, don be nasty. He wanted to be a detective and do an investigation and finde CLUE.
He put his detective hat on and came. Bentley was already waiting for him when Crow came out of house.
“Az plale what are you doing?”
“Using Bentli to go investigate like a detective. The voice told me to” responded the angle very explainingly.
Ok be carful my dear my algel Automatle remember to not put any purple candy inside car she is allergic to candy rememberrrr’????”
Azirale rememberd. Last time Bently had to be rushed to the hospital for purpl candy intoxication. She had to stay there many days but managed to get her Carticosteroid and Atiexhaustamines and was saved.
Note: Sadly her treatment took longer than expecter becos her doctor Crank kept having to have emergency work breaks becos her floor was after the radiotherapy floor and he kept getting perpendicular whenever he passed by it. At least he gave her a Crankshaft shaped lollipop after for the troubles but teh lollipop was a lollipop and had sugar so she had to go to the hospital again and Crnak was alreaydy distracted by the mechanical mistress filling him with photons.
Aziraphl arrived to the place. Hegot up from his sit wich was now wet with Crowley liquid because he only put his detective hat on befor going to the adventure. Bentlu was already used to their liquids so it was fine really. He gave her a candy for her troubles.
Now it was time tç INVESTIGATEEE!!!1!1!1!q!1!
The place was filled with plants. It was clea r that people hadn’t lived there for agesss. Like 2 weeks minimum. Acaloid felt that presence he feels when he visited the nun place. Like his body was absorbing all the loved energies left at the place. But instead of love it was radiation.
The entir tonw was empty. Wher could he start his investigashun???
He walked thru the empty streets following the trail of ionized atoms until he arrived at th nuclear place. He coul have followed the big cloud of smoke arond the central but he wanted to use his new radiotion 6th sense ok? It was new an ESCITINGG!!!
Note: It woul have been faster for him to ggo with bently instead of walking but she was currently busy dieing of candy allergycs because she couldn’t find her enginepen.
When Atomicfail was at the central th e plants were already so over grown they blokd the entrance. In a very majestic acte of angelity he put on his wings and flew up, entering through the chimney like a Santa except more naked and instead of snow there was radioactive ash falling from the skie. It was a good thing no person was there to reveal his SECRET ANGLKE IDENTITY. ERxcept for the three legged birds that saw hmibut they jus thought he was a normal la d that had grown wings becos of the raditaion. Perhaps if they were lucky enough they he woul pass soon so they could feed on his eyes an survive the nuclear winter.
He explord the inside. There were empty desks, abandoned cold cofees, and strange advertisemnts for a professional Nuclear Plant Rapairer. “I hav the TOOL” the pamphlets read. A closer inspection of the incidental parts seemed to indicat that the expert tried hitting the magically appeared candy with a crank multiple times before quitting and also escaping the place.
He wrote it down in his CLUES list and mad his way back, sad to not have found anything else, except for a tasty glowing candy that was on the floor. It tasted like TV static and neon green.
The sun was starting to hide.
Abysmal was a good Christina and wen to visit one of the abandoned churches befor the day ended. He entered without taking his hat off. He woul never do that under normal cimcurstances cos it’s rood and he was raised better than that, but if he took off his detective ht he would be complegtly nakid and that wold be even more offensive.
H e approached one of the benches closest to the altar and knelt, because if he sat he woul also stain the bench with Crowley juices like what it happened with the bently before except taht now it was less of a juice and more of flakey texture wit some viscous parsts where there was more.
As soon as he closed his eyes his phone started ringing. He had kept it inside his hat becos he was naked and legs didn’t have pockets so he fel the vibrations directly on hes head and that spooked him for a sec.
He took the phone out grabd the handset.
“H̴̳̿e̶̘̍l̴̢͑l̷͉̍ŏ̸͇?̸͈̓” He spok into the receiver. His radiation absorbing abilitis gave his voice a very sexy very raspy tone. It was so sexy in fact that it’s properties have leaked into this very writing and thats why the letters look weir ok??? It helps VISUALIZE THE NARRATIV!!!!111!11
“Hello Asislamel. I see you mad it to the location like I asked yu to”
Acidfel nodded.
“Ö̶̗́h̵̡̚ ̶͈̾ỵ̴̐e̷͈̓s̸̼̐!̸͍̏ ̸̦̇I̷̫̚ ̶̖͛d̵̜̋ì̴̯d̷̝͆n̵̪͌'̵̖̌t̴̹̾ ̵͙̇f̵́͜i̷̜̿ǹ̶͎d̷̹͗ ̷̯̈́m̶̠̌u̸̢͐ċ̵̼ẖ̵̋ ̵͍̈́ẗ̷͎ḧ̴̟́ő̷̫u̷̯͛g̵̨͛h̵̨͐,̵̨͂ ̴͚̋I̸̎͜ ̶̦̏d̶͖̅ĭ̸̜d̷̝̆ ̸͕͋ȩ̴͂ã̸̱t̵̝̔ ̴̟́t̶̖͘h̵̻̒i̶̡͋s̴͖͑ ̸̭̓ȍ̶̭n̸̺͆ȇ̸̥ ̸͚͂ĉ̴̲à̵̲n̴̪͂d̵̙̔ỳ̸̠ ̴̦̈́a̷̪̅n̴͚͗d̷͓͘ ̶̹̾I̸͜͠ ̵̦̏m̸̗̔ư̴̱s̴̹̐ ̶̧̿s̸͚̚a̴͔͌ÿ̴̺́ ̴͙̌i̶̤̿t̶̳̾ ̶̖̑d̴͇̾i̸̢̔d̶͇̎ ̷̼͂w̶̨͝ò̸̦n̷̠̅d̷̙̽ẻ̸̹ṛ̷͋ś̵͈ ̶̖̔t̵͉͝o̴͚͋ ̶̹̓m̴͚͘y̴̗͘ ̴͈̑t̸̹̅ẖ̴͠r̵͉͋ó̶̞a̷̻̕t̷̹͊.̸͖̆ ̸̛̪M̷̩̀y̸̦͒ ̴̛͙v̵̺̔õ̵̯i̸̗͝ç̷͊ ̷̖̓h̸̻͛a̴͔͆s̵̤̊ ̵͕̕n̶͍͝e̷̹͝v̷̪͐e̷̙̽r̸̨͑ ̴̖̿ḃ̴̥e̸̞͝e̸͈͛ṇ̷̚ ̸͚͒b̵̫̀ȩ̴̇t̵͎̽ț̶̏ẻ̷̤ṟ̴́.̶̛̼”
“You did well my angle. Nou I need you t o go to house and wait in the bedroom. Make sur to wear you sexy detectiv hat”
“O̶̟̎k̴̨̋” said A bidet el. He was too busy being happy becos someone recgnised his hat as sexah to notice that his phone wass having some smoke.
He hanged the receiver and put his phone back in his hat and walked outside. His ass ckeeks making a crnch crnch sound becor of Crowley dry spend.
It was already night when he arrived at the home. He didn’t need to know what home it was he was supposed to go, he fel an aura that pulled him there.
He hung his hat on the coat rack.
His phone that was no longer suproted by anything fell to the floor.
Arbitrary walked throuh the house in search of clues but couldn’t find anythhng.
Note: I know its nigh and electricity die with the nuclrar disaster ok?? He doesn need light becos when he absorbed the lobe (radiation) from the place he became glow like one of those night lights for the kids so he didn need it.
He was so Aziratired he went to the bedroom and threw homsilf to the bed like when you get to the hotel after a long trip and jump to the bed and accidentally break one of the woods from under the bed and you need to hide it becos your afraid you’ll now also have to pay for the bed and you don’t want that except that Aripalel didn’t break anything because he is angel and miracle.
He decided to hav a wank.
His hands were circling his clit, giving it a tingly sensation becos of the radiation. When sudenly… SONETHING GRABBED HIS LEG UNDER THE BED!1!!|!!!
Aclitafail got scared but somefing about the touch was familiar???’’’’?’?’?
“You made it Angel” said a voice. The persone came ourt of the bed and it was… CROWLERRRRRRRR!!!QQ111q!11Q111111Q!1q!
“C̵͕̑ř̷͈ö̴̩w̸̨͂l̶̢͂ė̶̠y̵̝͝ ̸̼͐i̷̢̅ṡ̷̘ ̸̪̾t̷͓̉h̵͎́a̶̝̅t̶̛̹ ̸̝͐ŷ̷͖ó̴̲u̸̦̅?̸̹̑ ̴̺͊Y̸̿͜o̵̝̾u̸̢̕ ̴̺͒ẅ̷̦́e̵̯̽ŗ̶̀e̴̗̚ ̸͔͠t̸̢͛h̶̡̃e̶͔͠ ̶̹̀p̵͓̕h̴̤̀o̸͖͐n̸͈̓e̸̲͂ ̸̬̕p̶̤͘e̶͓͐r̴̠̈́s̵̡̀o̷̹̐n̴̮͑?̵̼̒?̴̹̐?̵̩̊” Asked Aziphel shocked.
“Yes I was my angel my dear Azititphale. I wanted to have sex with you in beautiful town full of nature and no people and hear all the sounds you make without worrying about Mr. Carpet sending us a noise complaint letter again because you were using that beautiful voice of you when I was fucking that sweet sweet ass” Responded Crowley wisely.
Note: See? I did that thing when writers tell you what happen’ll withoit telling you when phone had smoke inside church. It was because DEMON CROWLEY COS HES A DEMON AND SMOKES INSIDE CHURCH!!11
They stardted kissing and making out and it was hot.
“Let me make you feel good” Said Arista fell. He grabbed Croely’s dick of crowley and started giving it an up and down massage.
Crowley’s mini crowley looked different today but it was alright cos he always is changing fashuns except thsat never his dick but maybe he wanted to get on with the times and make it more modernnn?????? Asirafer leved him and that was most important.
Xrowleys new modern dick was longer an more wat but just as hottt.
Aazisfel stoped for a second and Crowlu whined but wat he did right after felt so good he almos melted like that demon with the lizard after trying a new fashionable bucket hat with water.
Azirafap put one finger inside Crowley’s foreskin, starting to stretch him. He was so wet it was easy an started putting another finger in side.
“D̴̺͛o̶̹͛ ̵̜̅n̴͕̆o̵̤͂t̴̼͒ ̵̱́c̸͇̒o̸̦͝m̷̖̌ê̷̺ ̶̟͌ű̸͇n̸̔ͅẗ̴̺i̸̘̐l̴̩͊ ̸͉̔Ỉ̵͙ ̶͖͐s̴̼͊a̷̪̓y̷̢̚ ̴̝͆s̶̜̾o̸̙̓” said Azi. It ws hard for crowley cos it felt so good but he was good for AANagle.
Awinkafail finally put his five fingers insides croely’s dick skin, giving him a wank from the inside like when you have a cold hand and put your hand inside the sleeve and grab your arm except it was Crowley’s anaconda and it was so good he almost came, and Azids hand was giving him vibrations becos of radiation.
“WAIT ANG-NGK” Said Crowley, he was about to come but he didnt’t want to yet. “I want to fill your juicy hole please, I have a sweet surprise for you *WIKN*” ;)
“Y̴̜̐e̷̻̅s̵̺͝ ̷̱̚y̷̘͑ö̵́͜ù̵̘ ̶̧̃c̷̥͛a̸̜͠ň̵̩ ̸̤̂m̴͉͝y̴̠̒ ̸̤̿b̴̘̊ę̴̎a̵̡̾u̶̼͛t̸̹́i̵̦͝f̵͔͊u̸̡̔ḷ̸͆ ̴̪́d̶̲̐ą̶̛ȅ̵̪m̵̯̈́ỏ̷ͅn̷͎̽ ̴̳̚C̵͕̚r̶͍͊ò̸͙w̸̩͒”. Responded Ass pale who had already created a pool under himself with how wet he was with just the though of Crowley inside and a lot of the bed bugs died of drowning except the ones that mutated to survive underwater, those were having a very fun pool party and every bed bug was invited except for Abugail because everyone hated her Abigail you bitch you still owe me 20 euros for that dinner if you don’t give them back to me I will tell your mom.
Crowley was moving very fast inside Crowley’s cunt and he was comming but Albitafel felt somethin different. Something wasmoving up Crowley’s new dikc like a moving bulge and now the bulge was filling him inside womb.
“O̴̭̙͖̜͑̕H̶̞̔̃͐͂̓́̓̄̋̿̈́͗̚͘͝ ̵̢̧̨͙̝̺̥̗͖̖̗̫̯̀̾̊̓̿̉͂̋̕Y̷̧̨̛̝̰͙̱̞̬̙͍̼̆̈́̏̂͂̽̿̃͋̏̐͛̑͠ͅË̵̜͕̗̬͉͈̝̘̦̜̈́͌͊̐̀͋̊̈́͘ͅS̴̨̢͍̮̝̗͚̜̥̓͛̉͗̔̑͐̚ͅ ̷̧̰͔͇͇̻͓̤̺̉̔̉̈́̂̕ͅC̸͇̣͓̘̞͙͉͓͙͕̮̊͋̒̃̂̏̒͒̐͛̌̇̔̈́R̶̨̮͖̫͎̼̯̘̯̻̤͚͓͖̀̄̂Ớ̴̧̢̜̖͓̓̏̌͊̑̉̍Ẁ̵̧͓̜̜͉͔̗͎̺͐ͅL̷̢̠͖̍͗̈́̏̾̚͠͝Ȩ̸̡̗͇̹̪̺̞͔͖̘͎͉̥̜̟̈͑̾Ẏ̸̛̤̗̺͖̘̱͈̅̈̎̆́̌̇͋̍̄̐͘͝ͅ ̷̢͉͎͖͙̤̯̖̐̑̂̂̄̓͂̀͐̚Ì̷̻̗̩̐̒̐͌̄̔̓͑̈́ ̴̨͉̰̜̙̳͙̺̪͚̪̲̚ͅͅÄ̵͚̻́͋͋̄̕M̸̟͖͚̠͖̮̰̫̻̝͖͓̲̔ ̵̧̢̗͈͖̱͖͖̹̙̼͎̯̲͍͆̋ͅȘ̶̡̧̥̫̱̖̻̝̤̻̓̊̈́́͌͆͛̿̋̀̒͜͠ͅǪ̵͖̼̲͔̤̗̗̼̊̑̈͐̈̈́̉͂͌̒̒̇̈́͗̚͘͝ ̸̼̦̯̆̌F̵̡͚̘̫͎͔̀͌̓̇͘͠Ũ̷̧̩͖͐̊̓͂͒̒̒̾̊̔̑̏͋̏͝L̸̖̱̗̣̞̠̯͈̮̻̘͉̏̒̅̐̋͜͜ͅL̴̰̞͍̻̣̼͖͚̰̪̬͓̬͛͑͐̓͝.̴̧̛̟̻̳̙̹͚̦̟̻̹̞̄̾̅̈͑̐̒̀̾̇̉̔̈̌̆̓ ̴̜̮̪͉͓͈̫̦̮̙͎̌̃̾Y̴̢̙͆͆͋̊͆̍́̐͗͘͠È̵̲̙͖̹̙̞̹̪̪̦̯̠̓̋̐S̷̡̡̧̛̻͉̫͙͍̗̭̦̓̿͑͌̔̀͑̋̈́̃̿̕ ̸̥͉̼͚̪̝́̀́̓́́̀͛́̚͘͝͠͝͠͝G̷̨̺͍͛̔̑̄̋̋͋̌̉̓͆̒͊͠I̸̤̥̞̞̲̟̖̭̭͆̽̅̒̏̓̅̌ͅV̴̧͓̟̼̘͕͍̜̯͈̳̈́̍̀̅̄͜͝͠Ê̵̢̡̜͓̗̊̈́ ̶̢̫̣̭̜̺̭͔͇͇̬̥͔̜́̋͆͐̾̈͝I̴̢̖͕͇̖̺͓̗̘͖̫̊͆̔͆̉̀̈́͐̄T̵̤͓̤̲̦͈̟̹̙̞̟͕̜̪̂̽̊͝ ̶̛̰̙̜̮͚̬̬̬̔̀̈́̎̆͌͂́̔̑̽̐̄̚͘̕T̶̻̯̰͖̣̫̗̍̾Ȏ̴͎̺͓̤̟̦̗͗̿͊̉̄̿͆̋̔̓͂͌͘͝ͅ ̷̧̨̨̹̟̥̲͉̫̲̆̾͊͜ͅM̷̛̬̹̝̬̲̱̞͙͚͕̞̃̐̈͋͆͘Ȩ̴̡̨̨̪̞̖͉̜̫̬̥̪͖̲̪͊͜ ̷̖̣̫͙̼̭̈́͑̀̐̿I̶̡̢̡̖̖̤̬͍̮̟̳͍̦̬͗̀͛̒̉̓͜ ̷̢̢͙̜̘͙̱̳͔̭̫͚͔̰͉̏͊͑͑́͋̋̚ͅͅL̵̡̨̡̟̗̭̲̜̎̎́̇̓̋̔̂̅̏̒͛̕͘Ǫ̴̢̨̛̼͖̗̬̮͖̘̤̜̭̬͙͙͓͗́̂͑̆̇͒͘V̷̲͓̬͖̞͔͎͕͖͎͓́̓̊̌̈̚Ḛ̸̳͚̤̝̦̮͚̒̀́̽̂̾͋͌̊̄̂͗̓̓́̚͜͝ ̷͈̳͉̘̦̤̺̭̺̝͈̞̭̀̒͂̔̍͆̓̆̀͠Y̸̟̪͐̂̉͑͗̃̈͘Ǫ̴̮̣͚͇̠͕̙̗̭͇͈̺͙̤̅̎͛̏̚͜͝U̵̡̡͙͔̗̬̻̬̳̟̹̤̼̤͖̺͛͗̓̐̊̄”
They both came very beautifully and intense.
Ambisionfail was very happy to be carrying a part of Crowley. They fell asleep toguether on the bed, laying on top of the bed bugs just as Flealix was about to do the coolest pool trick in the history of ever, killing them all instantly.
MEANWHILE, A WEEK LATER:
Abitchaphale and crowley were in bookshop when something happen. Somethin WAS MOVING INSIDE AMNIOTIC CELL?????’’’?P??11!11!1!!!1
He layed down on his back. Crowley was holding his han very lovingly. They didn’t kno what it would be but they were sure of one thing. They would both love their beautiful radioactive love baby <<<<<<<<3333333323
They were now both holding their beautiful creation. It was so round and soft <<33
It was
The chocolate bun