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Astrid sat on the edge of Hiccup's bed, not looking at him. Her legs were drawn up, elbows on her knees, head bowed against her fists, every muscle in her body taut like she was in pain.
And she was.
It had been two weeks since the battle with the Red Death, two weeks since Astrid had learned the hard way that she and Hiccup were soulbonded. Finding that out mid battle had not been advantageous at all.
Then she'd had to suffer through the amputation of his left leg while he was blissfully unconscious, maybe even completely unaware.
She hadn't left his side since, keeping vigil with Toothless and the chief. Stoick hadn't bothered trying to send her home, and had instead done his best to make her comfortable in his own home. Her parents stopped by often to check on her.
But Astrid felt like there wasn't much to be said. She was hurting, inside and out—hurting from Hiccup's grievous wounds, and from all the emotional agony this had brought.
He'd hit his head in his fall, and Gothi had warned them that Hiccup may never wake from this sleep, and that he might be different if he did. She couldn't give anymore information.
They just had to wait.
Toothless grumbled and nudged her side.
"I'm not hungry, Toothless," Astrid replied. The dragon had been trying to get her to eat what was most likely cold stew by now, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was too worried, too full of aches and pains that weren't hers, but that she had to bear the burden of anyway.
What if Hiccup died?
It was possible that he would just slip away from them, that his body would no longer cling on to life.
Astrid would most likely die too, if that happened. It was common for soulmates to die together. The pain of losing each other was just too great.
With the intensity Astrid had felt through her bond with Hiccup, she had no trouble in believing that.
Which left her staring at her chief a lot more than she wanted to. He'd been without his soulmate for 15 years. How did he do it? How had he survived? Was the pain continuous? Something he felt every day that he would carry with him till his death? Or did it fade in intensity as time passed?
Her mind was completely overwhelmed with questions. She'd been prepared to have a soulmate, and she figured her parents had taught her well, but she hadn't been prepared for any of this.
Toothless nudged her one more time, but when she made no response in any way, sadly lowered his head onto his paws.
Aren't we a pair? Astrid thought drily to herself. Two beings wrapped in sorrow and nerves as they waited for something that might not even happen.
She was glad Stoick wasn't here all the time. Despite all Hiccup was going through, he was still chief. He had to deal with giving burial rites for bodies that were never recovered, make sure there was enough medicine and treatment for burns, start on rebuilding a new fleet of ships, and somehow take care of the influx of dragons.
Hiccup was the master of dragons though, not any of them. They didn't understand them the way Hiccup did. Not yet, anyway. She knew he'd be flabbergasted, but happy to learn that the people of Berk and the dragons had pulled together to make it safely back to Berk. The idea had been Stoick's. He wasn't as clever or inventive as Hiccup, but he still had a sharp mind. They'd scavenged together two ships that had just barely survived the attack of the Red Death, and the dragons had pulled them on home.
So much had changed in two weeks.
And Hiccup hadn't seen any of it.
Astrid couldn't hold her feelings back anymore. Sitting here silently with them like this wasn't doing her any good. She reached out for Hiccup's nearest hand—the left one—and gave a gentle squeeze as a whimper left her throat. That hand was all scratched up, and she could feel it on her own. He had taken many an injury in the battle.
Astrid didn't say anything as she cried. Pleading with Hiccup to wake up had done nothing; telling him to be strong and pull through this had done nothing. She'd even resorted to praying, but it felt like the gods weren't listening. If they were, why would they leave her in such torment?
And then Astrid felt… something. It was pain, the dull aches crescendoing into sharp jabs of heat.
He was waking up!
Astrid straightened and turned towards him. Even as the pain grew worse as Hiccup was coming to his senses, she was elated. He would make it!
A groan left him, and she had to bite her lip to hold onto one of her own. Her pain didn't matter when it was just a reflection of his.
Hiccup was stirring slowly. His brows knitted together, and his face scrunched up. He turned his head away from her, and then back. His eyes fluttered, and then opened. They opened.
Astrid was going to happily relay this to Toothless but the Night Fury had already figured out that his friend was waking up.
And that had him dashing madly around the house, knocking things over with loud crashes and clatterings.
"Toothless!" Hiccup cried out, voice hoarse from lack of use. He tried to sit up, but winced in turn with Astrid, and flopped back down.
Toothles hopped down from the rafters and came over to Hiccup's side, cooing, clearly asking how he was feeling. There was some happy wiggling on his part that he couldn't seem to be able to suppress.
"You're in my house," Hiccup said. He looked around in confusion, eyes landing on Astrid, who was trying to keep a pained grimace off her face. "A-Astrid? Astrid and Toothless in my house." He stared up at the ceiling now, and a realization seemed to come to him. "Shit, am I dead?!"
Astrid couldn't help but laugh a little. She couldn't imagine how disorienting waking up like this must be, but there was still some amusement to be found in it.
"No, you're not dead," Astrid told him. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, and Hiccup looked at their joined hands in shock, obviously not having noticed before.
But then he hurriedly pulled his hand away, and was sitting up despite the pain it was causing him.
"No, no, lie back," Astrid insisted, voice tight from the protests of Hiccup's cracked ribs. She put a shaking hand on his shoulder to try to push him down, but he threw it off, seemingly in a panic.
"Something's not right!" he cried. "Something's not—something's…"
Shit.
Hiccup had thrown aside his blankets and was now staring at the stump of his left leg. His chest was heaving with pained am labored breaths, and his eyes were huge.
This was one of the things Astrid had been worried about. She didn't know how to explain that they were soulmates, and she also didn't know how to explain his new condition. Two things to explain that seemed almost equally impossible.
"Hiccup—"
"What happened?" His voice was surprisingly even, but his gaze hadn't broken from where a left foot should have been.
Toothless rumbled, and luckily that drew Hiccup's attention. He looked to his dragon, only to get a complete tongue in the face.
And despite it all, he laughed. But then he was doubling over, clutching at his ribs, gasping for breath.
He raised his eyebrows at Astrid when she did much the same. Damn, if he could just lay still for a minute!
"Hiccup, I—"
"Are you… Can you feel my pain?" he cut her off. He straightened a little, but was still hunched over. Astrid felt like she could breathe a little easier.
She opened her mouth to speak, but realized that she had no idea what to say. She'd had two weeks to agonize over the right words, and now she was speechless.
So, Astrid did what she could, and nodded.
Hiccup was staring at his stump again once he saw her nod. Then he was looking over the side of the bed at her left leg, her foot in particular, the part he was missing. He kept looking back and forth, unable to comprehend it all.
And Astrid couldn't blame him. There had to be a million questions running through his head. How could there not be?
"When?" was all he asked, and Astrid knew what he meant.
"I… I think it was that flight on Toothless," Astrid told him. "The night before, well, everything."
"Oh." Hiccup had his eyes closed now, as if looking was only making things worse, as if he could hide reality just by not seeing it.
And Astrid wished the same thing. Seeing the stump of his leg made her tremble, memory trying to come up and swallow her. The pain…
"Yeah," was all she was capable of responding with.
"Did you… were you… did it hurt?" Hiccup was clearly having trouble forming his thoughts and having them come out as words. It was hard to say if it was the head injury, or just the sheer shock of waking up with one less limb and a soulmate.
Astrid didn't want to answer, didn't want to make him feel guilty.
But she also didn't want to go back to that moment where she would have much rather died than feel the agony of the amputation.
"Did you feel it?" Astrid ended up asking, instead of answering his question. Her avoidance of it was probably answer enough.
"I-I don't think so." Hiccup laid back down, and breathing became a lot less painful for the both of them once he did. He put a hand to his forehead, just looking at the ceiling, stunned.
Toothless cooed and nuzzled his cheek. Hiccup didn't react at first, but then moved to rest his hand on his nose. He closed his eyes for a moment, then turned his head to look at Toothless.
Astrid had grown close with Toothless over the past two weeks. She'd learned the intelligence he had, had learned just how expressive those big green eyes could be. Now, they were gazing at Hiccup adoringly, but also with a mix of concern and elation. The two couldn't cancel each other out. He was happy Hiccup was awake, but concerned over his general well being.
Astrid was feeling much the same. Hiccup was alive, awake and speaking, but very much hurt, inside and out.
Hiccup's eyes went big again. "Wait. Dragons!" This time when he tried to sit up, he let Astrid push him back down.
"It's fine," she assured him. "It's all fine."
Okay, so maybe she had three things to explain to him.
"Do you want me to get your dad?"
"No." Hiccup's answer shocked her a bit. "Not yet." He touched Toothless under the chin with one hand, then took one of hers with the other. His next breaths were much more relaxed, despite everything.
"Tell me everything," he said to Astrid.
"I… don't know how," she admitted, looking down and away from him. Life had been flipped on its head in such a short time. Would words even do it justice?
"Try." Hiccup squeezed her hand. "Please."
Astrid nodded. She swallowed past the pained lump in her throat, pushed through the fog of suffering in her brain, and began to speak.