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feels like home

Summary:

You are Karim Flam’s younger sister—born into the revered Flam family, raised under suffocating expectations, and cursed with the constant comparison to a brother you could never hate but could never truly stand beside. Though you were gifted with not just third generation flames but the rare ability of thermoacoustic refrigeration, your power was hidden, your voice dismissed, and your life dictated by tradition. When the weight of being “a proper Flam” became too much, you ran.

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"You have to be a nun!"

"You don't have other options."

"You have to praise Sol."

"Why don't you listen to your parents?"

"Don't shame our family name."

"Your brother never caused this much trouble."

"Your feeling doesn't matter."

"You were born for this purpose"

"It is the responsibility of a Flam."

"Your doubts are sin."

"Why can’t you be like your brother?"

 

People always say that family means home.

But for me, the Flam Residence was anything but. It felt more like a prison. Every day, another reminder that I didn’t belong. Every hallway echoed with expectations I could never meet. Every prayer felt like a performance. Every word out of their mouths "Be like your brother, praise Sol, don’t ask questions," I memorized them out of fear, not faith. 

Karim Flam. Special Fire Force Company 1's Lieutenant. The golden child. The prodigy. The perfect son. My older brother. 

I don’t hate him. I could never. 

I hated the way they used him like a weapon against me. 

They knew I was capable, more than most third generations. They knew I could do the things he could. The same ability they praised Karim for, it was in me too. But they refused to see it. Blinded by tradition. Obsessed with control. Too focused on who they wanted me to be to recognize who I already was.

 

So I stopped trying.

I stopped praying.

I stopped pretending. 

And one night, I left. No letter. No farewell. 

Just a quiet step past the threshold of the Flam Residence, and the sound of the door clicking shut behind me. I didn’t know where I was going, only that I had to get as far away as I could.

Away from the sermons. Away from the comparisons. 

Away from a family that only saw me as a disappointment dressed in robes. The city was cold. Loud. Unfamiliar. But even that was better than the silence back home, the kind that stung more than screaming ever could.

 

Eventually, I found my way to Asakusa. The flames there were different. Not sacred, not restrained. They were wild. Untamed. Alive. And so were the people. I collapsed just outside Company 7's district, half-conscious, starved, and soaked from the rain.

And that’s when someone found me. Company 7's Lieutenant, Sagamiya Konro. He didn’t ask me who I was. He didn’t ask me where I came from. He just offered me his hand and said, "You’re safe now." It was the first time anyone had said that to me.

The warmth of Asakusa felt unreal. People laughed loudly, lived freely, and fought fiercely, but never out of hate. The flames they carried weren’t for rituals or status. They were just a part of who they were. It was messy, chaotic, and human. 

I stayed in Company 7’s care longer than I’d planned. At first, I told myself it was temporary, just until I figured out what to do next. But days turned into weeks. Weeks into months. And somewhere in that time, Asakusa started to feel less like a stop, and more like a pause I didn’t want to end.

 

They gave me space. 

No interrogations. 

No forced prayers. 

No cold halls echoing with duty. 

Just warm meals, open rooftops, and fire that didn’t judge me. The people in Company 7 were rough around the edges, loud and impulsive, but they treated me like I was one of them. No sideways glances. No suspicion. No comparisons.

 

I started helping out around the district. Repair work, deliveries, even light patrol. Not because I was told to, but because it felt right. The people were warm. Honest. Loud in ways that didn’t hurt. They argued in the streets, shared food over fire, and treated each other like family, chaotic, imperfect, real. It was everything the Flam Residence wasn’t.

 

And in the middle of it all, at the heart of this unruly, burning place was him. Shinmon Benimaru. I’d heard of him, of course. Everyone had. “The strongest fire soldier in Tokyo.” A name spoken with both fear and reverence. To the world, he was a force of nature, undisciplined, unpredictable, unstoppable. To Asakusa, he was something else entirely. A protector. A leader. A brother. A sword drawn only when necessary.

 

A second and third generation hybrid, just like me. Except, he never had to hide it. Never had to explain it. Never had to beg anyone to understand what he was. He didn’t seek approval. He didn’t chase anyone’s praise. He moved through the world like a wildfire that had decided to stay, burning not to destroy, but to shield what he cared for. He was raw power, unfiltered. Unrefined. Unapologetic. And yet behind all that strength, there was something else. Something quiet. Heavy. 

 

He looked tired. 

Not the kind of tiredness that sleep could fix. It was deeper, etched into the lines around his eyes, in the way he exhaled when no one was watching. The weight of someone who carried more than just fire. Someone who carried people.

 

I didn’t say much to him in the beginning. Didn’t know how. Didn’t know if I should. He wasn’t easy to approach. Not because he was rude, he wasn’t. He was distant. Like someone who had learned not to let people get too close. I understood that feeling more than I wanted to admit. So instead, I watched.

 

I watched the way he trained, fierce and fluid, like a flame given form. The way his eyes stayed sharp, even when he pretended not to care. The way he stood in front of danger without hesitation, not out of pride, but instinct.

I watched the way he talked to the townspeople, gruff, blunt, but honest. He remembered names. He fixed broken things with his own hands. He showed up for everyone, even if they never saw it. He didn’t need recognition. He just acted. And I began to realize something.

 

Asakusa wasn’t just his district. It was his home. His people. His family. And he protected them not because someone told him to, but because he chose to. It was the first time I had seen someone live with fire so freely. Not bound by rules. Not weighed down by robes or rituals.

And slowly, quietly, without meaning to, I started to believe that maybe I could belong somewhere too. Maybe, I didn’t have to be what they told me to be. Maybe I could burn on my own terms. And somehow, that realization began with him.

 

Benimaru wasn’t the type to hand out compliments or coddle new recruits. If you wanted his respect, you had to earn it.

So I trained. 

Every day, without fail. Long hours under the sun, until my muscles screamed and my lungs ached. The rest of Company 7 pushed me hard, but it was never out of spite. I was just another fighter. And for once, that was enough.

 

Still, part of me wanted him to notice. 

To see me, not the burden I left behind. 

Me. 

And then, one afternoon, he did. We were sparring, Company 7’s usual chaotic kind, no holding back. I remember my hands were blistered, smoke curling around my fingers from overuse. Someone rushed me, fast. 

Too fast.

Instinct kicked in, and I reached for something deeper than fire. 

The air cracked. 

The temperature dropped. 

Something colder rose up in me, something I had spent years locking away. It wasn’t conscious. It wasn’t a decision. It was instinct. Desperation. A burst of frost bloomed from my palm, just enough to throw my opponent off-balance. 

 

Everything stopped. No one spoke. Silence swept the field. I could feel their eyes on me, wide, stunned. Not afraid, not angry. Just unsure. And then I felt his gaze. Benimaru. He hadn’t moved, but he was watching me. 

Eyes narrow. Focused. 

Not surprised. Not confused. 

Like he was putting together a puzzle he already knew the pieces to.

He walked toward me, slow and deliberate. Every step felt like thunder in my chest. I braced myself, heart pounding, ready for scolding and rejection. He stopped in front of me and said, 

"You’ve been holding back."

It wasn’t an accusation. It was a fact. And somehow, that made it worse.

I couldn’t see his eyes.

“I didn’t want to cause trouble,” I muttered, my voice tight. “It’s… complicated.”

He was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, "Next time, don’t." And walked away.

 

That was it. 

No lecture. 

No demand to explain myself. 

Just a short sentence, honest, and more accepting than anything I’d heard in years. And in that moment, I understood something. 

He didn’t just accept my fire. 

He accepted my cold.

Benimaru began watching me more during training. Like someone curious. Someone who noticed details others missed. He corrected my stance without words, nodding once if I adjusted right. Sometimes, he’d spar with me directly with no announcement, no warning. Just stepped in, and suddenly it was just the two of us moving across the sand, flame against flame.

 

At first, I could barely keep up. His strikes were brutal, precise. He didn’t pull punches. But he also never held back because I was younger, smaller, or a girl. I started living for those sessions. Not because I wanted to win, because I wanted to understand. I wanted to figure him out. The way he fought was beautiful, terrifying, and natural. Every movement had meaning. No waste. No showboating.

 

But I also noticed the little things. 

How he always took the spot closest to the edge when we trained on rooftops. 

How he watched the townspeople from a distance when they thought he wasn’t looking. 

How his shoulders only ever truly relaxed when he was sitting beside Konro.

He was powerful. Commanding, but also lonely. And for reasons I didn’t fully understand yet, that made my chest ache.

 

We never really talked, not deeply, not then. But our silences grew more comfortable. 

When I passed him in the courtyard, he’d give a small nod. 

When I trained longer than the others, he never told me to stop. 

Sometimes I caught him watching me from across the yard, expression unreadable.

 

Once, after a mission, I collapsed in the barracks, burned out, exhausted, my body near shaking. The others had gone ahead. But I remember hearing footsteps. Steady. Quiet. 

"You're pushing too hard." I looked up. It was him. 

I laughed weakly. “Isn’t that how you train?”

Benimaru didn’t smile, but something softened in his eyes. 

"You’re not me," he said. 

"Don’t break yourself trying to be."

And before I could say anything back, he walked off.

 

The next day, I kept training. Not to prove myself anymore, but because I wanted to grow. Wanted to understand what it meant to live with fire, instead of letting it consume me. And for the first time, my flames and my frost didn’t feel like a curse or a weapon. They felt like mine. 

 

Company 7 wasn’t gentle. But they were honest. Real. Loyal in ways I didn’t know people could be. They didn’t ask questions I wasn’t ready to answer. They didn’t judge me when I struggled. And the Lieutenant, Konro became my anchor. He saw through me from the beginning. He just had that look, that quiet understanding born from years of carrying his own burdens.

 

One night, after drills, he found me sitting in the hallway, legs dangling off the edge, flames flickering at my fingertips in soft, tired spirals. He didn’t say anything right away. Just sat beside me, letting the silence stretch between us like a blanket. 

Eventually, I spoke.

“I used to think running away was a weakness.”

Konro stayed quiet, listening.

“But staying... in that place, with those people, it was killing me. Slowly. Quietly. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t be.”

Another pause. I didn’t look at him, but I felt his presence steady beside me.

“I didn’t come here to be saved,” I added, voice low. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

Konro finally spoke. 

“You didn’t need to know. You just needed somewhere that wouldn’t shut your fire out.”

I turned to him then, and the way he looked at me, calm, kind, sure and it felt more comforting than any prayer I’d ever heard back at the Holy Sol Temple.

 

“I told Beni you were holding something back,” he said. “He figured it out before I did. But he gave you space until you were ready.”

I blinked. “He knew?”

Konro gave a small nod. “Beni sees more than he says.”

 

I thought about all the moments, his silence, his steady gaze, the way he never forced me to speak, never pushed too hard. And I realized that he had seen me. From the start. I let out a quiet breath. 

“I think… I want to stay. Not just because I’m running anymore. But because I want to learn what it means to protect something. Like you two do.”

Konro gives you a small, but genuine smile. “You already are.”

 

A few days later, Konro handed me a simple patrol sheet after drills.

“South end of Asakusa,” he said. “Take the captain with you.”

I blinked. “Just us?”

He gave a subtle nod. “It’s quiet down there. But something’s been off lately. Might be nothing. Otherwise, you’re ready.”

 

That night, the air was thick with the scent of incense and warm soy broth from food stalls. Asakusa was winding down, the usual noise replaced by laughter and shuffling sandals. The lanterns above cast golden shadows over the narrow streets. Benimaru didn’t say much when we met. Just a small nod, and we walked.

At first, it was quiet. Peaceful, even. But something scratched at the edge of my nerves. The way he moved, how his eyes darted toward rooftops, alleyways, corners that held no sound.

“You feel it too?” I finally asked.

He didn’t answer with words. Just a subtle tilt of his head. 

That’s when the first pulse of heat hit us. 

Sharp. Wrong. 

Like a sudden sunburst in the middle of night. It came from an old storefront at the edge of the market street. Closed down for renovations, supposedly empty. But flames flickered behind the frosted glass. 

Benimaru’s expression hardened.

“Stay behind me.”

 

We slipped through the side, wood creaking underfoot, and found the back room already half-eaten by fire. It wasn’t spreading normally. It pulsed like a heartbeat. Slow, deliberate, crafted. Then we heard it. A woman and two children huddled beneath a collapsed shelf, smoke curling over them.

 

Benimaru moved instantly, clearing the path with a burst of focused flame. I followed close behind, summoning a curved fire-blade to cut through falling debris. The kids clung to their mother, eyes wide with panic. But the fire lashed out, drawn to movement, growing hotter by the second.

“Something’s manipulating it,” I shouted. “This isn’t natural.”

“Then show me what you can do,” Benimaru said without looking back.

 

I drew in a breath. Let the heat sink deeper, then flip it. Let the cold rise instead. Frost surged from my palms, streaking across the scorched floor like silver lightning. Steam burst upward as flame met freeze, and for a heartbeat, the fire screamed and gave way.

We got the family out, just in time. They stumbled into the alley, coughing, holding each other. 

And then… they turned. 

Bowed. 

Not to the captain. 

To me.

“You used both,” he said quietly.

I nodded. “Had to.”

There was a long pause.

Then he spoke, softly, but firmly,

“Don’t stop.”

I frowned. “Don’t stop what?”

“Being who you are.”

I felt something I never had growing up in the Flam household. Pride. And it wasn’t from someone demanding perfection. It was from someone who saw me. Flaws, fire, frost and didn’t flinch.

 

Later that night, I climbed up to the roof of the Company 7 building. Asakusa always felt quieter from above, like the city softened once you stopped trying to fight it. The rooftop was a little overgrown, not manicured like the central gardens in the Holy Sol Temple, but alive. Plants curled out of handmade wooden planters. Some looked like weeds, others were flowering herbs I couldn't name. A few lanterns had been hung up haphazardly. Most were dark, but one still glowed, swaying gently in the wind.

I sat on the ledge, knees tucked close, watching the stars fight through the hazy sky. Then I heard footsteps behind me. 

I didn’t turn around, I didn’t need to.

Benimaru said nothing as he sat a short distance away. Just far enough to be polite. Just close enough to say, I’m here. For a long time, we said nothing.

The sounds of Asakusa drifted upward, distant laughter, a closing stall, the low whistle of the wind between rooftops.

 

“I used to come up here alone,” I finally said, voice quiet. “Back when I first arrived.”

He glanced over, waiting. 

“It was the only place that didn’t ask anything from me,” I added. “No drills, no expectations. Just silence.”

Benimaru leaned back on his hands, eyes on the sky. “You can still come up here. Even now.”

“I know.” I smiled faintly. “It just feels different tonight.”

He didn’t ask why. Maybe he already knew.

After a while, he said, “You handled yourself well back there.”

I laughed under my breath. “I almost panicked.”

“But you didn’t.”

I looked down at my hands. 

“Because I had to. There were people in danger. There wasn’t time to think about what I’m supposed to be.”

“For so long,” I said slowly, “I thought using both fire and ice made me broken. Like I wasn’t enough of either to belong anywhere.” I paused. 

“But today… when they bowed to me, not out of fear, not because of my family name, but because I helped them... I think it was the first time I didn’t feel ashamed.”

Benimaru was silent for a moment. 

Then he said, almost too softly, 

“You shouldn’t have had to feel that way to begin with.” 

My throat tightened. We sat like that, letting the silence breathe again.

Then he leaned slightly closer, plucking a small plant from the planter beside him and rolling the stem between his fingers. 

“You know, Konro planted these,” he muttered. “Said if we could keep them alive, maybe we wouldn't be as bad at peace as we thought.”

I smiled. “They’re still here.”

“Barely.”

“But growing.”

He huffed a quiet laugh.

 

A breeze tugged at my sleeves, carrying the scent of smoke and something green. I turned my head slightly, just enough to catch his profile under the lantern light—sharp, tired, and warm in the way that didn't come from fire.

“Why didn’t you ask?” I asked.

“Ask what?”

“About my powers. You knew. You saw.”

He was quiet for a second, then met my eyes. “Because you weren’t ready,” he said. “And when you were, you told me.”

 

That stopped my breath for a second. It’s neither pity nor admiration. Just quiet understanding.

“Thank you,” I said.

He didn’t say you’re welcome. 

He just looked back up at the stars, and that was enough. 

And in that quiet, with nothing left to prove, I leaned just a little closer. Not enough to cross a line. Just enough to feel like maybe, for once, I wasn’t alone.

 

The next morning started slowly. The firewood crackled in the hearth, and the scent of grilled fish and rice filled the air. I was halfway through prepping tea when I heard footsteps behind me, heavy, familiar ones.

“Morning,” Benimaru grunted as he stepped into the room, scratching the back of his head, hair still a mess from sleep.

“Morning,” I echoed, trying to act casual.

He nodded once and moved to grab a bowl from the shelf, just as Konro strolled in from the other side of the room, fully dressed, freshly shaved, and entirely too awake for this hour. He took one look at us and raised an eyebrow.

Then calmly, too calmly he said, “You two come down at the same time?”

Benimaru stilled. Just for a second. Barely noticeable. But I saw it. “…Coincidence,” he muttered.

“Sure,” Konro replied, tone absolutely unconvinced. “Rooftop must’ve had a beautiful view last night.” I nearly dropped the teacup.

Benimaru gave him a look. One that could have flattened buildings if he really meant it.

Konro smiled into his tea. “What? I’m just saying. Stars were out. Lanterns lit. Good weather. Very romantic.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, come on, it’s sweet.” He turned to me now, grinning. “He doesn’t like other people up there, you know. Not unless they can handle the silence. Or the company.”

 

Benimaru had gone dead quiet. I tried to hide my fluster by pouring the tea, probably a little too aggressively.

Konro folded his arms. “Just saying. If I see any extra cushions up there next time, I’ll know to leave you two alone.”

“Konro.”

He held up both hands. “Alright, alright. I’m done.” A beat. “For now.” He left, humming lightly under his breath.

Silence settled in the room again. Benimaru reached for the soy sauce like nothing happened.

“…You okay?” I asked, voice barely above a whisper.

He gave a noncommittal grunt, then added, “He’s worse than the elders.”

I smiled into my tea. “A little.”

Then, so quietly I almost missed it, he muttered, “You can still come. If you want.”

 

Days have passed and Asakusa has fallen into one of those rare, peaceful silences. No alarms, no drills, no drunken arguments outside the ramen stalls. Just the sound of cicadas in the distance and the faint crackle of the lanterns swaying overhead. I sat on the wooden porch of Company 7’s main building, legs dangling slightly off the edge, half-finished cup of tea cooling in my hands. The night air was crisp, carrying the faint scent of smoke and sakura bark.

 

I heard the sliding door open, soft footsteps padding across the wood. Benimaru sank down next to me, a quiet exhale leaving him as he leaned forward, arms draped over his knees. No words. No greetings. Just his steady presence, something I’d grown used to, something I’d started to depend on. We sat like that for a while.

 

Then he spoke, low and rough. “You’ve changed.”

I blinked, turning my head slightly. “What?”

He didn’t look at me. “Since you got here.”

I frowned. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not,” he said quickly, then paused like he wasn’t sure how to continue. “When you first showed up… you didn’t say much. Always looking over your shoulder. Keep your fire locked up like you were afraid of it.”

“I was.”

“I know.”

He leaned back slightly, gaze on the stars now. “But now… I see how you move. How you train. You don’t flinch anymore. You don’t wait for permission to fight.” 

A beat passed. “I notice things,” he added quietly. “More than people think.”

 

I watched him in the corner of my eye, his profile lit faintly by the lantern glow. There was something in his voice, something gentler than usual. 

Unfiltered.

“I saw the way you handled that family the other day. You didn’t hesitate. You used everything you had. Didn’t care who saw it. That takes guts.”

I stared down at my tea. “You’re the reason I don’t hide anymore.”

He glanced at me then, just a brief look, but it landed like a weight. “I wasn’t just watching the stars that night,” he said. “I saw you up there. The way you sat, like you finally had space to breathe. Like you weren’t waiting for someone to come drag you back.”

My voice was a whisper. “I wasn’t.”

He nodded once, then stared straight ahead. “I’m not great with people. Never have been. I don’t say the right things. I don’t always know what to say. But when I see something worth protecting, I don’t ignore it.”

 

His voice dropped. “And I see you.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said, more gently this time. “Not just because you’re strong. Or useful. But because you belong here. With us. With me.”

I turned to him, mouth parting slightly, but still, no words came out. So instead, I reached down, fingers brushing against his hand on the porch. He didn’t move. Didn’t flinch.

 

But after a few seconds, his pinky curled around mine, just barely. And somehow, that small touch said everything neither of us had figured out how to say aloud.

We sat there in the quiet, under the stars and paper lanterns, with the night folding gently around us. 

No running. No fear. No hiding. 

Just two people, wounded, tired, learning how to stay, breathing the same still air. Neither of us moved.

 

The night wrapped around us like a second skin, familiar, comforting. I could hear the wind brushing through the trees that lined the edge of the compound, and somewhere in the distance, the quiet clatter of a lone vendor closing up shop. 

Life is going on. But here, on the porch, everything felt still. 

I glanced sideways. His eyes were half-lidded, the sharp edge of his expression softened in the dim glow. He didn’t look like the feared commander of the 7th. Not the demon lord of Asakusa. Not the strongest fire soldier. Just an ordinary man. One who carried more weight than he let show. One who had stood alone for a long time, maybe longer than he realized.

 

“You don’t have to carry everything yourself,” I said quietly.

He didn’t respond right away. But I felt him shift, just slightly, like the words had landed. “I’m used to it,” he muttered.

“I know. That’s the problem.”

A faint breath of a laugh escaped him. Dry, almost amused. “You’re getting bold.”

I smirked. “You’re not as scary as people think.”

He turned his head just enough to glance at me, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes. “You’re one of the few who’d say that to my face.”

“I’m not scared of you.”

He held my gaze for a moment longer. Then, softly, “Good.”

 

The silence returned, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It settled around us like an old friend. I leaned a little closer, resting my head gently against his shoulder.

 

“I used to think no one would ever understand me,” I said. “Not really. Not without trying to turn me into something I’m not.” 

“You never asked me to change,” I added.

“You never needed to.”

 

That caught me off guard. Simple words. But the way he said them, they felt weighty, intentional. Like he hadn’t just meant it in passing. Like he’d thought about it for a while.

I looked at him again, and he didn’t look away this time. There was something quiet in his gaze. Honest. Maybe even gentle. And for a second, I thought, maybe this is what it means to be seen. To be accepted. Not because you’re useful. Not because you’re obedient. But just because you’re you.

 

The air between us was warm despite the breeze. My heart beat steadily, not out of fear, but out of something deeper. Something I hadn’t had a name for in a long time.

And for the first time, I finally felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.