Work Text:
It started on a random Tuesday— Jeongin just finishing up with his last schedule and rushing to get home before it got any later. His phone dinged as he sat in the passenger seat of his manager’s car.
Jisung: hey can i get ur help with something?
Jeongin truly couldn’t be bothered to think much right now, but he wasn’t going to turn away one of his hyungs. He responded quickly.
Jeongin: ew no
Jeongin: what is it
He watched for a minute as the dot dot dots of Jisung’s typing came and went, his indicisiveness growing annoying as Jeongin waited. Soon enough, the car rolled to a stop in front of his apartment and Jeongin forgot about Jisung’s texting. He opted for just muting his phone and showering— maybe by the time he was done Jisung would finally tell him what was up.
A quick shower later turned out to be plenty of time. When he returned, Jeongin’s phone had a short message and an image.
Jisung: is this a good photo?
That’s it? Jeongin could rate a photo no problem. He half-payed attention as he simultaneously headed to the kitchen and opened the text and— oh my god. He just about ran into the wall as his brain tried to wrap around what he was looking at.
Jisung was sitting at his desk chair, obviously slouched down even though the photo was only of his lower half. His legs were spread wide and one forearm lazily rested on his thigh, his fingers just barely touching his obvious bulge.
Was this an accident? Why the fuck was Jisung sending him buldge pics on a tuesday? Or any day, for that matter. Jeongin hurriedly clicked off of the photo and turned back towards his room, typing as he went.
Jeongin: and why exactly are you sending me this??
Jisung’s response came in quickly.
Jisung: come on help a bro out!
how else am i supposed to know if its good enough to send?
Jeongin ignored him and clicked back on the photo. And, lets be real, Jeongin has eyes. He knows all of his bandmates are pretty. Having eyes also means he’s seen Jisung’s morning wood more times than he’d care to admit. So seeing Jisung’s buldge is not new. Living in the same room for years means you see way more than you’d ever wish to see.
But seeing Jisung’s buldge in a photo that is meant to be sexual like this has Jeongin’s ears blushing pink and the rest of his blood rushing to his dick.
After an embarrasing amount of time, he takes a shaky breath and clicks back into the chat only to realize there’s another photo. This time, Jisung’s hand is wrapped around his clothed dick, showing the outline more clearly.
There’s another text too:
this one better?
Jeongin can feel his own dick twitch in interest but ignores it to respond.
Jeongin: ew hyung
they’re both gross
He waits a second, looks back at both photos, then adds:
but the second one is a little less gross
There. Good. He can be normal about this! This is fine. All he gets from Jisung is a thumbs up emoji and ’thx.’
He ignores it and scrolls through his social media for a bit, trying to not pay attention to whatever’s happening in his pants. But… would it really be that bad if he took care of it? His heart pumps way too fast as he clicks back to the chat, rereading from the beginning. It seems okay, right? Why would Jisung send him sexual things if he didn’t want Jeongin to be affected?
Oh wait. The hand that was slowly moving towards his waistband stops as he rereads. “good enough to send” probably means he’s sending it to someone else, not just Jeongin. It probably means that it’s not even for Jeongin.
Jeongin huffs and clicks back out of chat. If it’s not for him, then he shouldn’t jack off to the photos. The more he thinks of it the more it’s obvious that Jisung was just sending it to him ‘as bros,’ as he would probably say. And plus, how would he face Jisung tomorrow if he came to the thought of his dick?
Dejected, Jeongin waits for his arousal to die down before resuming his earlier plans of getting food. He goes to bed upset and a little horny, but tells himself that it must be better than the guilt he would feel instead.
—
Surprisingly, Jisung acts completely normal the day after the incident. Jeongin is also able to keep it together and not say something stupid like “hey hyung, no pics of your morning wood today?” or “nice photo by the way,” but only because their schedules are too busy to have much down time.
The whole thing is actually completely taken off of Jeongin’s mind as the rest of the week stays busy. Everyone’s work picks up and doesn’t die down until another week goes by, and Jeongin’s had to text so many different people that his private chat with Jisung is at least 10 people down the list.
The next time it happens though, Jeongin isn’t getting back from a schedule. It’s late, and he’s curled up on the couch, half paying attention to the k-drama Seungmin and Felix are watching. Thankfully, Felix has chosen Seungmin as his cuddle victim tonight (“I’ll watch what you want if I can cuddle you!” Felix had said. Seungmin rolled his eyes and relented, but Jeongin could see him fight back a smile as they all settled in), leaving Jeongin alone in his little corner.
This time there’s barely a delay between the text and the photo.
Jisung: hey, help again?
[image]
Jeongin opens it, already a little shaky, and drops his phone in his lap as soon as he makes eye contact with Jisung’s bare thighs. He mutters a small ‘fuck,’ quickly picking back up his phone.
“Shh, shut up,” Seungmin mutters at him, but Jeongin’s not even thinking of the other two right now.
His eyes skim over the photo again. This time, Jisung’s in boxers, and it’s taken like a selfie but without his face in it. His hand is fully gripping himself, the action ever-so-slightly pulling his underwear in a way that accentuates the head of his dick a little too nicely.
Jeongin swallows, suddenly very thankful that he has a blanket over his lap as he quickly chubs up. It takes him double the time than usual to write out his response, having to go back and fix all the typos.
Jeongin: meh better than last time ig
He watches Jisung’s typing bubbles for a bit, anticipating another photo or something, but all he gets in response is a text a moment later.
Jisung: perfect thanks!
Jeongin decides that’s enough phone time for today and tosses his phone next to him. He adjusts his blanket and pays close attention to the k-drama in hopes that his boner will go down enough to make a run for the shower soon.
Later, when the water’s heating up and nobody’s around to see him, he pulls the photo back up and considers the potential consequences of his actions. He glances at the photo, then his dick, then the photo once more before turning his phone off and turning the shower back to cold. The temperature makes him shiver, but his horniness subsides and he’s reminded of all the times younger him took cold showers so he’d stop thinking of his hyungs like that.
He makes a pact with himself then and there: he will not engage sexually with any past or future photos Jisung sends him.
—
Jeongin doesn’t have an issue, per say, but it is becoming a bit of a problem. You see, Jisung hasn’t sent him any more photos or anything, and they’ve actually texted about enough other random stuff that Jeongin has to scroll for a bit to even find the photos. But still, whenever he catches a glimpse of Jisung’s waist with his underwear band ever-so-slightly visable, Jeongin’s gaze lingers just a little too long.
His problem becomes ten times worse when the third incident happens. It catches him off guard more than the other two times. He gets an inconspicuous ‘hey’ and clicks on it, not at all prepared for a video to come through a minute later. Jeongin thought 3racha was still at the studio even though it was quickly nearing morning.
The video isn’t long, just 30 seconds of Jisung palming himself in gray boxers. Jeongin watches it once, then a second time for good measure (and totally not to focus on the growing wet patch of Jisung’s underwear). After the third time, he realizes that his sound is off and holds his breath so he can listen extra carefully.
To his disappointment though, the only noise he can hear is the faint ruffling of fabric as Jisung moves his hand. The sound of breathing can also be heard if he focuses really carefully. Huh.
Jeongin rolls over onto his stomach, inconspicuously adjusting his hips to get comfortable. He tells himself that it’s not breaking his rule if he doesn’t actually get off. Besides, his poor, neglected cock deserves at least a little bit of reprieve.
Jeongin: wow leave it to you to be one of those men who doesn’t moan
And, sure, it’s a little bold, but Jeongin doesn’t expect much of a response at this point. Jisung’s text comes almost right after and Jeongin starts to question if he just sits in chat as Jeongin looks at whatever he sent.
Jisung: haha are you saying you’re not?
Jeongin: i thought this was about you hyung
what i do in the bedroom is none of your concern
What Jeongin does in his bedroom is apparently ‘try not to cum from his friend’s lewds,’ but Jisung doesn’t need to know that. For once, he gets no response and thinks that’s the end of the conversation. He goes back to scrolling his social media.
The loud *ping* of his notification sound jumpscares him, but he clicks on the video attachment Jisung sent him anyway. And— oh god.
Jisung: this better?
Jeongin focuses in, makes sure his volume is up before watching. This video is a little longer but starts the same way. Jisung palms his (very) hard member a couple times, sighing in content as he does. After a second, he grips himself a little harder and moves his hand up. His breath catches in his throat and he lets out a choked moan that goes straight to Jeongin’s dick.
To Jeongin’s utter surprise, there’s a third video waiting for him when he clicks back into the chat. Jisung’s hand is fully in his underwear, jerking himself as he lets out soft moans. The wet patch on his boxers is saturated enough that the precum is leaking through almost steadily. Towards the end, his hand starts to speed up and his moans rise in pitch until Jeongin thinks Jisung might—
But the video cuts off abruptly mid moan. Jeongin thinks he’s never been this hard in his entire life and it’s taking every bone in his body to not be rutting against his mattress.
Jeongin: i did NOT need to see that oh my god
Jeongin’s very glad he saw that, actually, but Jisung doesn’t need to know that. He sighs and presses his face into his pillow. How did he even get in this situation? When he looks back up, there’s a couple messages from a minute ago and typing bubbles telling him to expect another one.
Jisung: oh sorry
too much?
hey for real tho, if im making you uncomfortable ill stop
im sorry
Jeongin turns back onto his side as he types back quickly. All of the members know how much Jisung overthinks and worries and Jeongin would rather die than be a source of Jisung’s anxiety.
Jeongin: haha nah, ur good hyung
i’m happy to be of service
He adds a sticker of a cute cartoon squirrel just to convey that he’s really fine with it. The gray typing bubbles come and go for a minute or two before disappearing completely, so Jeongin sends another message.
Jeongin: ur sending them to someone tho right?
who??
Jeongin would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little curious since the beginning who the lucky recipient of these photos was.
Jisung: oh
uh
minho hyung?
Oh. Well, Jeongin guesses that should have been obvious considering how those two act. They’re practically dating already with how close they are. They must be finally taking it a step further and making it official now.
For the first time during these texting sessions, something other than lust makes itself known in Jeongin’s chest. He forces it down and texts back, feigning happiness instead.
Jeongin: omg thats so gross
he’s totally into you too tho
Jisung: haha yeah its going good
Jeongin: you guys better not be cute where i can see
Jisung: lol no promises
Jeongin leaves him on read and plugs his phone into its charger. He rolls over to sleep and does his best to ignore the stinging in his eyes. He’s not going to cry over this. He knew from the start that Jisung doesn’t like him, and he doesn’t even like Jisung like that.
—
To nobody’s surprise, Minsung is, in fact, cute where Jeongin can see. Jeongin starts to cue in extra hard to all of the extra little touches they give each other, the way they naturally lean into each other as they talk. In a weird, totally not self-destructive coping mechanism, Jeongin starts to watch Minsung edits on twitter and slowly goes insane. And like, if he’s completely honest, he can see why they get so much hype. He doesn’t know how he didn’t guess this by himself. They’re cute together and give off established-couple and pining vibes that Jeongin could only hope for.
Jeongin doesn’t even realize that he starts to avoid them. If he thinks about it, it’s even been a while since Jisung has texted him at all. It takes Chan cornering him, asking, “hey, did something happen between you guys?” for Jeongin to pull his head out of his ass and try to be normal again.
They’re holed up in the studio to record vocals one day. Everyone has been in and out, Minho most recently having gone, but it’s now only 3racha and Jeongin left. Jeongin is so deep in his own head that he doesn’t even hear Changbin leave too.
He’s snapped back into existence by Chan shaking him, Jisung saying something or other about how Jeongin’s pitch is supposed to sound for his section.
“Oh! Sorry, hyung, can you start over?” Jeongin asks, getting up to go in the booth. Jisung just ‘humm’s lightly and complies. They start recording shortly after.
It’s a song that Jisung has written, his signature disgustingly-in-love lyrics all over it. Jeongin’s listened to the demo about 300 times just to listen to Jisung’s voice and sort of dreads having to sing it knowing the lyrics aren’t about him.
On the fifth time Jeongin messes up his second verse, Jisung’s voice comes over his headphones.
“Hey, Yen-ah, I think we need to revisit that one, but your third take will do for now. You want to try the next section instead? I think—“
The connection cuts and Jeongin looks out. Minho’s back with a bag of snacks and some coffee, both of Jisung’s hands reaching towards the stuff to help. Chan had passed out on the couch but is now sifting through the bag Minho brought. Jeongin fights the tears starting to prick at his eyes. He hates this.
The crackle of Jeongin’s head phones snap him out of it. “Sorry, as I was saying, I think the next section may be simpler.”
Jeongin just nods and looks at his lyric sheet, listening to Jisung’s voice in the demo before he tries it himself. He makes Jisung play the demo two more times than usual in an effort to not cry before Jisung cuts him off.
“Jeonginnie, I know you’ve listened to the demo more than anybody. You’ve got this, let’s just try.”
“O-okay,” Jeongin responds, although it doesn’t sound convincing in the slightest. He takes a big deep breath and squares his shoulders anyway.
Somehow, he makes it through that verse with only a couple failed tries. He fears that Jisung is sick of his shit beacause he calls for a break right after, giving Jeongin a half-assed ‘good job’ and letting him have a break. Jeongin thanks him as he takes off the headphones, makes his way out of the small booth, and walks right out of the studio.
The tears fall before he even has time to get anywhere, but he manages to find a quiet corner and curls up into a ball on the floor. Minho finds him 10 minutes later (which is 5 minutes less than when Jeongin had predicted a hyung would come looking for him). He’s got a coffee in one hand, a pastry in the other, and a sad look on his face. Jeongin scowls.
“Ya, don’t look at me like that, you brat,” Minho says, the return of his regular demeanor immediately making Jeongin relax. Jeongin unfurls and takes the things from Minho as he sits down next to him. “If you want me to go away I will.”
Jeongin doubts that, seeing as Minho’s making himself comfortable next to him, but he weighs his options anyway. It’s not like he’s mad at Minho, really. Him and Jisung being together doesn’t make Jeongin dislike him. He’s just—
He’s jealous.
But also? He could really use a talk with his hyung.
He favors just sitting there and trying to stop the last few tears. After some time, he wordlessly starts to eat his pastry. Maybe he was just hungry, because it makes him feel a whole lot better.
“Hyung?” Jeongin asks, still chewing his last mouthful. He expects Minho to fuss at him for talking while eating, but he only gets a little hum in response. “Do you think Jisungie’s mad at me?”
“Of course not,” Minho says quickly. “He may be stressed about getting everything in on time, but he’s not mad at you. And if he was, he’d talk to you.”
Jeongin just nods and takes a sip of his coffee.
“You’re lucky, you know,” Jeongin starts again.
“Why?”
“He writes all these songs about you.”
Minho laughs. “As if.”
When Jeongin remains silent, Minho looks at him and sees the sad expression still on his face.
“Oh, you think— oh.” Minho’s smile drops. “Maknae-ah, he writes the songs for all of us, if anything.”
Jeongin just fights off more tears and says, “Yeah, sure, hyung.”
—
Later that day, Minho bursts into Jisung’s room as soon as he hears he’s home.
“Han Jisung,” Minho says sternly, causing Jisung to jump as he sets his stuff down.
“What?” Jisung asks. Minho almost feels bad about startling him. Almost.
“Why the fuck was Jeongin crying and saying that I’m lucky you write songs about me?”
Jisung sputters for a second and Minho just raises an eyebrow at him. “I-I’m not sure hyung, I don’t know.”
“You’ve gotta tell him the truth, Hannie. You’ll end up hurting him at this point, just tell him.”
“I can’t, hyung,” Jisung says, coming closer to Minho so he can dramatically fall to his knees and clasp his hands out in front of him. “Please, hyung, don’t say anything.”
Minho lets out a short laugh and turns to leave. “You’re fucking hopeless, I hope you know that.”
Jisung smiles. “Yay, thank you! This is why you’re my favorite!”
From down the hall, Minho shouts, “Yeah, whatever. Dinner will be ready in half an hour.”
—
Jeongin does a poor job of avoiding Chan for the rest of the day, but the older luckily kept quiet and didn’t say anything about the recording session from earlier. This is why Minho was his favorite hyung; he probably kept his mouth shut about Jeongin crying.
Right before Jeongin was going to get into bed, Jisung texts him.
Jisung: thought u could use a reward for doing so well today ;)
[image]
Ha! Yeah right, like Jeongin did well today. He ignores it for a bit, trying to roll over and sleep. It’s probably just a bad photo of Jisung making an annoying kissy face at the camera. He can’t believe Jisung’s trying to say he did good when he clearly fucked up their recordings for the day.
Annoyed, he rolls over and picks up his phone. He expects to just type back ’no way hyung, i know i did shit its okay’ and call it a day. Jeongin opens the notification and his eyes go wide. Holy shit.
Jeongin stares at the photo and Jisung’s full cock stares right back at him.
The photo’s a little blurry, cutting off right at his chin and thighs. Jisung’s wearing sweatpants and a tee-shirt, but he’s got the hem of his shirt in his mouth and his free hand is shoving the waist of his sweatpants down just enough for his dick and pretty tummy to be on display.
Jeongin’s too confused to even realize he’s getting hard in his own pants. He can tell that Jisung’s hard— close proximity leaves little to the imagination, remember? He’s seen Jisung’s dick before, but never hard. He doesn’t know what to say back. This has to be a mistake.
Jeongin: hyung?
It takes a couple minutes for Jisung to respond.
Jisung: hmm baby?
And oh god. The pet name makes Jeongin’s breath hitch a little. This— This all has to be for Minho, right?
Jeongin: wrong person
im not minho hyung
and i didn’t do a good job today
Jisung: but good text right?
good enough to send?
Oh. Of course.
Jeongin: yeah i guess
He sends the text and then immediately puts his phone down, rolling over to try and fall asleep. He’s not even sporting a semi anymore, he’s so disappointed and upset. A couple minutes of tossing and turning later he gives in and picks his phone back up.
Jisung: i did mean it tho
you did good
and im sorry if i made you feel like you didnt
Jeongin: yeah hyung
thanks
goodnight
Jisung: sleep well baby
For once, Jeongin let himself imagine a world where Jisung did actually like him. A world where Jisung gave him soft kisses and came to bother him with useless facts, and they curled up together to watch Howl’s Moving Castle or whatever anime Jisung wanted. He thinks about how nice it would be to be loved, and to love back.
Fuck. Jeongin was in love with Jisung, wasn’t he?
—
Things more or less went back to normal after that, really. Oddly enough, coming to terms with his feelings pushed Jeongin to just get over it and stop acting weird around Jisung and Minho. The faster things regained balance, the faster Jeongin could act like nothing ever happened.
Jeongin figured that the relationship between Minho and Jisung was going well, considering the uptick in nudes he recieved. One with Jisung just holding himself, naked from the waist down. Another one with cum on his tummy and his cock softening below the white puddle. A third one that was rather experimental and honestly not the best: a mirror selfie with flash on, Jeongin barely able to make anything out. He had gone back and forth with Jisung about that one and had recieved several more near-identical ones until Jisung just gave up.
And yeah, sure, Jeongin was getting a little pent up and frustrated at all of his ignored boners. He had pretty much stopped jerking off at all at this point— every time he tried, his thoughts kept drifting off to whatever nude was most recent and he’d force himself to stop. His sexual frustration was starting to affect his mood and he was more snappy, but his promise wasn’t forgotten: no jerking off to the thought of a hyung. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t jerk off without thinking of Jisung.
One evening, just as Jeongin is leaving his vocal practice, Jisung sends him another nude. He doesn’t open it, but the response is almost pavlovian at this point, blood making its way south anyway. Jeongin curses softly and speeds up to get home quickly.
As soon as Jeongin’s got one foot in the door, he’s opening the text. Jisung’s laying on his side, curled up slightly with his baggy hoodie hiked up a little bit. His hand is grabbing himself in a way that obscures most of the view, but it’s still enough to have Jeongin hardening in his jeans.
Like always, Jeongin ignores his boner. He starts to undress, changing into comfier clothes as he types back…
Jeongin: would be better if i could see more
… and waits.
He finishes changing, flops on his bed, and looks back to find another photo. Same position, although his hand’s resting on his stomach and it looks like his hips are jutted a bit more forward. It puts him so nicely on display, just like Jeongin asked.
Jisung: ?
Jeongin: better
Jisung: but not great
Fuck. It was great, but Jeongin would rather die than admit that. Nonchalance, and all that. He’s feeling bold tonight though and he’s curious. Despite their relationship, he hasn’t really heard anything from Jisung or Minho.
Jeongin: you send so much dick
i thought hyung was more of an ass man
Jisung: a man cant appreciate both?
Jeongin: just saying he’d probably enjoy an ass pic
The truth is, Jeongin would really enjoy an ass pic, but he’s not what’s important here. He’s just looking out for his hyung is all. He doesn’t expect another photo.
It’s not even that great of a photo, but holy fuck. Jisung’s in the same position, but the camera is behind him now to show off his ass in all its glory. One hand is spreading himself ever-so-slightly open so his hole is perfectly on display. His hoodie is still hiked up and revealing his tiny waist that Jeongin just wants to grab.
Jeongin’s fucking shaking. He’s never been this hard in his life. Don’t get him wrong, Jisung’s dick is amazing too, but right now he can’t get the thought of how Jisung would feel around him out of his head. He thinks of being able to just slide up behind Jisung and make him feel good, if he’d let him. Maybe he’d be mean and only let Jeongin rut against him instead.
Jeongin barely even registers that he’s rutting against his mattress, gasping slightly and letting out soft little moans. Now he’s just focused on the thought of Jisung riding him, or fucking back onto his cock while on his side like in the photo. He’d take anything, literally anything at this point.
His hips falter for a second as he looks back at all 3 photos. He’s close and definitely gonna cum if he doesn’t stop. He really should stop. No thinking of hyungs, right?
Another text from Jisung comes in.
Jisung: baby?
And Jeongin cums. He shudders through it, mindlessly letting his hips shift to ride it out. Relief fills his body and he relaxes into his mattress instantly. He knows clean up’s going to be a bitch— he cums a lot on a good day, and after not coming for this long? He can tell he’s made a mess— but he let’s himself have a moment before the panic sets in.
Once he’s had his minute, he forces himself to roll onto his back and the post-nut clarity hits him almost instantly. He can feel the disgusting tackiness of his underwear, proof of what he just did. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck Jisung’s going to hate him, isn’t he? Fuck, Minho’s going to hate him!
Jeongin starts practically sobbing at the thought of facing his friends. He probably should tell them, and then they’ll hate him and never want to talk to him again. Or worse, what if they break up because of him? He’s ruined everything.
He cries for a bit just sitting there before deciding he doesn’t want to be sticky anymore, and reasons that crying in the shower is better anyway. His shower is long as he tries to wash away the shame, and he punishes himself by making it barely luke-warm. Bad maknaes who jerk off to hyungs have to take cold showers, he thinks to himself.
When he’s done, he trudges back to his room and flops face-down onto his bed. He figures he should check his phone one last time and text back Jisung so he won’t worry all night.
Jisung: sleep well innie
Jeongin decides that doesn’t need a response. What would he say, anyway? “Sorry hyung, i was too busy jerking off!” God, he’s a terrible maknae, isn’t he? He tries to stop it, but a few more tears roll down his cheeks and soon he’s crying again.
—
When Jeongin wakes up in the morning, his eyes feel puffy and his head hurts. He doesn’t even remember falling asleep last night. He remembers his mistake, though, and the guilt has him a little nauseous.
A knock on his door makes his head pound. Chan pokes his head in.
“Jeongin-ah? We’ve gotta leave in, like, 10 minutes.”
Jeongin shoots out of bed. “Fuck, okay hyung.”
He’s never gotten ready faster, forgoing most of his morning skincare routine and instead focusing on taking pain meds and trying to make his eyes less puffy. Nothing really works. He opts for wearing a hat and hoodie with the hood up and hopes it conceals his face.
Chan’s waiting for him on the couch when he walks out and they head down to the car together. They don’t say much, and Chan is nice enough to not comment on Jeongin’s current state.
Unfortunately for him, their day is mainly full of group schedules: meetings to discuss concert ideas, dance practice, some solo outift and makeup trials, more dance practice. A pretty typical day, all things considered, but stressful. At least they don’t have a lot of down time, so even if Jeongin wanted to, he couldn’t talk to Minho and Jisung today.
Chan and Jeongin get there a little after everyone else and make their way to their first schedule. Jeongin falls asleep on Felix’s shoulder as everyone else talks about ideas, but he’s woken up for dance practice. The good thing about being an idol is that he doesn’t have a lot of trouble pushing everything to the back of his mind during practice and manages to make everything seem fine.
He still gets a few worried questions throughout the day, though. Hyunjin asks him if he’s okay as dance practice finishes up. The makeup noona later in the day coos at his eyes being puffy and is extra gentle with him throughout their session, but she knows not to ask him personal questions. He’s glad; he’s known her for long enough that she’s kind of like an older sister to him, and he thinks he’d cry again if she asked him what’s wrong.
By the time their second dance practice rolls around, he’s too tired to really care about much anymore. He clings to Seungmin, figuring he’s a safe bet. They’ve been bickering a lot with how pent up Jeongin had been and he sort of feels bad about it now.
“You’re being sweet today, everything okay?” Seungmin asks him. Jeongin pulls his hat lower so Seungmin can’t see his eyes start to well up with tears.
“Just tired, hyung.”
“Mm, okay.” Seungmin says. He throws an arm around Jeongin’s shoulders and keeps him close until their break is over.
Jeongin does a good job at avoiding everything for the next couple of days. Schedules keep him busy so that he doesn’t have to think about how badly he fucked up too much.
Poor Jisung doesn’t even know. Him and Minho are both acting all normal around Jeongin and mess around with him like nothing’s wrong. He considers just never telling them. What harm would it do? If they never find out, it’s never an issue. Jeongin decides he would feel too guilty about keeping it from them, though. He fucked up, he has to own up to it.
That’s why he goes over to the Minsung dorm as soon as he’s done with schedules. He hopes that Jisung’s there, but instead he finds Minho in the kitchen and no sign of his boyfriend.
“He’s still at the studio, I think,” Minho says when Jeongin asks him.
“Oh, okay.” Jeongin falters for a sec. Weighs his options. He might as well get it over with Minho now. “I actually need to talk to you, too.”
“Okay.” Minho continues to chop his veggies while Jeongin just stands there. After a minute, he says, “Well?”
Jeongin looks at the chef’s knife Minho is holding. “Uhm, I’d prefer if you maybe weren’t holding a knife for this?”
Minho laughs. “Go sit on the couch, Ayen-ah. I’ll be done in a minute.”
Jeongin goes and sits there anxiously. He doesn’t even turn on the TV to pass time, just sits there and waits, thinking of what he’s going to say. Minho comes in with two bowls of food a while later and hands one to Jeongin. He sets his on the table, though, too nervous to eat right now. Minho mirrors him.
“So, what did you want to tell me?” Minho prompts.
“Uhm,” Jeongin can’t look him in the eyes. He’s shaking. “First off, I’m really sorry, and I feel terrible about this.”
He takes a shaky breath, still not meeting Minho’s eyes because he thinks he might cry. “I’m so sorry, hyung, but I got off to one of Jisung’s nudes.”
It feels weird to say something like this to his hyung. He finally looks at Minho, who’s just got his mouth dropped open in shock. As soon as they make eye contact, the dam breaks— Jeongin’s crying and rushing to explain himself.
“I’m sorry hyung, I really am. I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened. But it was the first time and I didn’t even use my hands, I just—“
“Jeongin-ah,” Minho says. He sounds mad. Fuck, is he mad? Jeongin looks at him through his tears. “Why would I be mad? You don’t have to apologize.”
Jeongin just cries harder. Leave it to Minho to be so understanding.
“Come here, baby,” Minho says, opening his arms. He’s using the same tone he uses for cats and it makes Jeongin a little calmer. Jeongin awkwardly shuffles to him and hugs him, hiding his face in his chest.
“I just thought you would be angrier about me thinking of your boyfriend like that, I’m sorry. I-it won’t happen again,” Jeongin explains. Minho goes a little stiff for a second.
“Shhh, it’s okay honey,” Minho says, still sickeningly sweet. He lets Jeongin’s crying die down to just sniffles before pulling away. “I think you definitely need to talk to Jisungie about this, yeah?”
Jeongin nods as he swipes away the last of his tears. “I’m planning to, it’s just hard.”
Minho tries to make small-talk to comfort him as they grab their food, but Jeongin's focusing too hard on not crying any more to give him proper responses. They eat their food in silence until they're both done and Jeongin's calmed down enough to go back to his own house.
—
Minho meets Jisung at the door, arms crossed and scowling. He’s been waiting ever since Jeongin left an hour ago, the boy still sad but at least having been comforted and fed. Seeing how tired Jisung looks, Minho almost feels bad about being mad. Almost.
“Han fucking Jisung. I thought you were going to fix things.” Jisung hunches his shoulders in on himself a bit but he keeps moving around to put things away.
“I-I swear I’m working up to it, i’ll tell him soon. Everything’s fine, I just—“
“Do not tell me ‘everything’s fine’ after I’ve had Jeongin crying in my arms again.” Minho’s trying really hard to not be too angry but needs Jisung to get the point through his thick, dumb skull. “Fix it. Now.”
“I— yes, hyung,” Jisung says, bowing slightly as an apology. His eyes are trained on the floor. He adds on, “I’m sorry,” and slinks off to his room.
Minho stays in the living room and heats up some food when Jisung hasn’t come out of his room at all. The sound of sniffles behind the closed door makes him feel bad for fussing at him, but he trusts that Jeongin and Jisung will work it out. He leaves the steaming bowl at Jisung’s door and knocks to let him know it’s there.
—
Jisung texts him two days after Jeongin confesses to Minho. Schedules have still kept them busy, so it’s Jeongin’s first evening off in a little bit and all he wants to do is sleep.
All that Jisung has sent him is a video. Jeongin opens it lazily and sighs when he’s met with Jisung’s naked back. He’s tired of this. He doesn’t want to do this anymore.
Jeongin: hyung i dont want anymore
i dont want to feel like im getting between you and hyung
There’s a minute of Jisung’s text bubbles coming and going before his messages come through.
Jisung: just watch it
with sound
Jeongin: hyung
Jisung: pls?
if u dont want any more after ill stop
Jeongin sighs, but turns his volume up anyway and clicks on the video. It starts slow, gentle moans as Jisung spreads himself to put his hole on display. He teases himself before sliding a finger in and letting out a low ‘oh fuck, baby’ that unfortunately has Jeongin chubbing up. A few more thrusts before he’s adding a second finger and—
Wait.
Jeongin rewinds the video so he can listen again because he did not just hear what he think he did. Sure enough, as Jisung’s shoving two fingers into himself, he moans out ‘ah, jeongin.’
The video ends a few thrusts and moans after, but Jeongin stares jaw-dropped at the ending frame, still not believing what he heard. Jeongin. He moaned Jeongin’s name.
He turns the volume up. Watches the video again, puts it close to his ear to listen, just to make sure he heard correctly before he texts.
Jeongin: hyung?
but what about minho?
Jisung calls him, and Jeongin hesitates but picks up. He puts the phone on speaker next to him.
“We were never dating,” Jisung says before Jeongin can say anything.
“…What?”
“Me and Minho, we were never dating. The— um. The photos have always been for you.”
Jeongin gapes for a second. He doesn’t know what to say. He settles on: “Oh.”
They’re both silent. Jeongin listens to Jisung take a shaky breath.
“Uhm, yeah,” Jisung pauses. “When— when I sent you a video for the first time and you told me to moan, I had to retake it like 5 times because I kept accidentally moaning your name.”
“Fuck,” Jeongin mutters. Jisung chuckles at him. This feels like a dream, it can't be real. He's getting so hard.
“Yeah? Are you touching yourself, baby?”
Jeongin shook his head, forgetting he was on the phone. “No.” His hands were clasped together and strictly tucked into his chest.
“Oh. Is— Do you want to?”
Jeongin lets out a, quite frankly, mortifying whine.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I want to,” is what he settles on, but he doesn’t move.
“Mmh, why aren’t you, then?”
“Need— need permission. ‘ve been waiting for hyung.”
It’s Jisung’s turn to let out a low ‘fuck’ in response. Jeongin’s brain is starting to settle now that the situation is a little more clear. Jisung wants him. He wants him.
“Of course, baby, of course you can touch yourself.”
“Thank you, thank you.” Jeongin wastes no time now that he has permission, reaching down to palm himself over his sweatpants while he continues to mutter thanks to Jisung. He vaguely hears Jisung call him sweet but it’s hard to tell with how fuzzy he's starting to feel.
“Fuck baby,” Jisung says, “I need to see you, god, please. Can I come over?”
Jeongin moans at just the thought of Jisung in the same room as him right now. “Yeah, yes, please hyung.”
“Okay, okay, i’m- i’m coming, then.”
—
A few painstakingly long minutes later, Jisung’s knocking on his door and Jeongin’s clambering out of bed to let him in. They stand in the doorway for a second, both awkwardly hard in their pants. Jisung steps inside and pushes the door shut behind him.
“Hi,” he says, nervously laughing. Jeongin giggles with him.
“Hey.”
Jisung inches closer, reaching out to rest his hands on Jeongin’s waist. They giggle a bit more as Jisung looks up at him. “Can I kiss you?”
Jeongin nods and they waste no time leaning into each other, their lips meeting softly. Jeongin melts against him and sighs into the kiss as Jisung’s hands slip under his shirt to skim over his torso. Despite the built up tension, Jisung’s gentle with him. His fingers tease Jeongin’s nipples and Jeongin gasps into his mouth, tipping his head back as Jisung’s mouth trails down to his neck and gets more desprate.
“Ah, hyung,” Jeongin moans as Jisung starts working a hickey into his neck. “The stylists—“
“Mm,” Jisung says as he pulls away. “We wear makeup anyway, they can just color correct.”
Jeongin huffs out a laugh but lets him continue for a second. Somewhere along the way, Jisung backs him up towards the bed and Jeongin goes willingly, ready to do whatever his hyung wants. Both of their shirts get tugged off and Jisung settles himself between Jeongin’s legs. He trails his kisses downwards, leaving marks wherever he can.
“Y’know,” Jisung says in between kisses. “I sort of hoped that you would send something back someday. Thought of you getting off to the stuff I sent you.”
Jeongin shook his head, whining softly. “Never did. I was good, only got off to the last one.”
Jisung’s brow furrows and he stops. “Why, baby?”
Jeongin blushes. “Hyung never— you never gave me permission.”
“Oh, aren’t you just perfect?” Jisung says before shifting so he can kiss Jeongin again. He slots his thigh between Jeongin’s legs, earning another gasp from the younger as he finally makes contact with his erection. Jeongin can feel him smiling into the kiss as his hips start to shift up into Jisung's thigh.
“That’s it, take what you need,” Jisung says as he pulls away to rest his forehead against Jeongin’s. He grinds down against the thigh he’s straddling, letting out a soft moan of his own that makes Jeongin somehow even more desperate. They keep grinding against each other, moaning into each others' mouths as they keep kissing.
“Ah- hyung, stop,” Jeongin says after they’ve been at it for a minute. Immediately, Jisung’s hips come to a stop and he lifts up to hover over Jeongin.
“What’s wrong?”
Jeongin blushes. “Nothing! I, uhm, if- if we keep going, i’m going to cum.”
“Oh,” Jisung settles his weight back onto Jeongin. “You’d rather cum inside hyung, huh?”
Jeongin has never nodded ‘yes’ faster in his life. He feels like he’s going to pass out.
“Okay, baby, okay.” He rolls off of him and pushes his pants down while Jeongin lays there to process. He can’t believe he’s actually going to fuck Jisung. Han Jisung. His Han Jisung.
His thinking is interrupted by Jisung gently touching his cheek. Jeongin turns to look at him and Jisung smiles.
“Hi,” Jeongin says, a little starstruck at how good Jisung looks all mussed up and turned on.
“Are you going to keep staring or are you going to grab your lube and fuck me?”
“Right,” Jeongin says as he scrambles up to get his lube from his bedside table. He makes up for lost time by shucking off his pants on his way back, but stands at the foot of his bed, a little lost when he gets there. He looks at Jisung for guidence, but he’s too busy staring at Jeongin’s dick.
“Fuck.” Jisung looks up at Jeongin and scoots back more, making space for Jeongin between his legs. “I need you in me, like, yesterday.”
That makes Jeongin laugh, a little embarassed and a little flattered at the same time. Despite being an idol, he’s never had this much attention on him but he likes it.
Spurred on by Jisung’s enthusiasm, Jeongin squirts some lube onto his fingers as he gets closer. He’s a little clumsy, and he must’ve not let the lube warm up enough based on the way Jisung flinches when he touches him, but soon enough he’s got his finger sliding into Jisung’s hole.
“You’re- you’re so loose,” Jeongin says, then realizes that might be rude. He slaps his free hand over his mouth but Jisung’s smiling and explaining before he can apologize.
“Fingered myself before I came over.” He gasps as Jeongin starts to thrust his finger again. A bit of precome dribbles onto his stomach when Jeongin adds a second finger that slips in effortlessly. “You saw the video.”
“The video?” Jeongin asks, but he doesn’t stop moving his hand this time.
“The- the one I just sent you- fuck, more, baby.”
Jeongin pauses, the reality of what Jisung said sinking in. He wastes no time after that. There’s barely any resistance when he adds a third finger and he gets distracted watching the way Jisung’s hole sucks him in.
“Ngh, Jeonginnie. I’m ready, please, fuck me.”
“Fuck, yeah.” Jeongin’s suddenly very aware of how hard he is. He goes for the lube but something feels like it’s missing. He thinks— “Fuck.”
“What?” Jisung props himself higher up on his elbows and scans over Jeongin, looking for something wrong.
“I don’t have any condoms.”
“Oh. I mean, I don’t care.”
Jeongin hesitates. He’s never done this before. Sensing his apprehension, Jisung sits up and runs his hands along Jeongin’s shoulders. It makes Jeongin shudder, sensitive as ever.
“We can always wait,” Jisung says. His lips meet Jeongin’s in a soft kiss. When he pulls away, he leans into Jeongin’s ear and whispers, “but I like being filled up, anyway.”
The whine Jeongin lets out is absolutely mortifying, but Jisung looks proud anyway and his hands trail down Jeongin’s body to rest at his hips.
“Yeah, okay.” He leans into Jisung, vaguely trying to kiss him again but Jisung leans back and angles his head away. Jeongin goes with him.
“Yeah?” He leaves a peck on Jeongin’s lips and slides his hands down to his dick, stroking him slowly. It’s unexpected and punches a moan out of him. “Gonna fuck me with your stupidly large dick?”
Jeongin nods. He’s still trying to kiss Jisung, but his mouth opens in a silent gasp and it only ends with their lips brushing together uselessly. Jeongin drops his head to Jisung’s shoulder instead. The cap of the lube opens with a pop as Jisung squirts some into his hand before slicking up Jeongin’s cock.
“C’mon baby, you ready?”
Jeongin nods against his shoulder. With one hand on his hip and the other holding his cock, Jisung lines Jeongin up with his hole. Jeongin shifts his hips, sliding in easily. Both of them moan as Jeongin’s hips twitch involuntarily, and he’s not really sure if he’s trying to move towards or away from the pleasure.
He relaxes a little as Jisung circles his arms around his torso, hugging him. Jeongin’s still whimpering into his neck, his hips moving in aborted little thrusts that push him deeper into his hole. Jisung’s muttering praises to him the whole time, gentle “that’s it, baby, thaaaaat’s it. just a little more,” until he bottoms out.
“Oh, baby,” Jisung says once he’s fully in. His hands come up to Jeongin’s face, gently pulling him away from his shoulder and cupping his cheeks gently. “You okay?”
Jeongin nods. He hadn’t even realized the tears streaming down his face.
“It’s a lot, huh?” Jisung asks, nodding along with him.
“‘s a lot,” Jeongin repeats. He’s so out of it now he doesn’t even feel real. The shock of this even happening is still a lot.
Jisung gives him time to come back to his senses then pecks his lips gently. “You gonna keep fucking hyung or do I have to do it for you?”
Jeongin doesn’t even know what Jisung means by doing it for him but he’s sort of determined to do this himself. What’s the point if he can’t be good and please his hyung?
“I’ll do it,” Jeongin says desperately. He shifts to make moving a little easier, propping himself up with his arms. The first thrust is slow and shaky, but he’s determined. “I’ll- fuck, i’ll do it.”
Jisung moans and spreads his legs more, grabbing behind his knees. It spurs Jeongin on to try going a little faster, and in no time they’re both moaning and panting. Hands push at his chest and Jeongin goes willingly, leaning back until he can grab Jisung’s legs.
The change in angle must have Jeongin hitting Jisung just right because he says, “Fuck, Jeonginnie, right there,” and Jeongin thinks he’s dangerously close to cumming.
“Close?” He asks, hoping Jisung will say ‘yes.’
“You’re close?”
“N-no, you…” Jeongin says, trying to hold back as much as he can. His hips are starting to falter a little.
“Mm, yeah, I’m close baby,” Jisung responds. “Fucking me so well I’m gonna come untouched.” All that manages to do is make Jeongin whine while he continues pounding into Jisung. He thinks he’ll never recover from how good he feels.
A minute later, Jisung stays true to his word and comes over his stomach, his hole tightening as he finishes. Jeongin keeps fucking him through it as much as he can, but he’s two thrusts away from coming himself and he’s not sure if he still has permission to come inside.
“Hyung,” he says as his hips reluctantly come to a stop. He wants to come so bad.
“Come here, baby.” Jisung opens his arms and lets Jeongin flop onto his chest. “Keep going and finish inside hyung, it’s okay, you’ve been so good.”
Jeongin does as he says, thrusting once, twice, three times before filling Jisung up with his cum. He shudders through his orgasm and basks in Jisung holding him through it.
Everything’s quiet as they both catch their breaths and come down from their highs, nothing but the soft sound of panting and the whirring of a fan somewhere in the hallway. Jeongin decides that Jisung definitely just ruined sex with anybody else for him. He feels so light and floaty, pleasantly sated and content. Jisung presses a gentle kiss to his hair once he’s caught his breath.
“We should shower, baby,” Jisung suggests. Jeongin just hums. “We can get all clean and then get back in bed.”
Jeongin’s too tired to move, but he’s also suddenly really aware of the sticky mess pressed between them. He sits up so he can at least watch when he pulls out. A soft shiver runs through him as Jisung ghosts his fingertips over his torso, and he pulls away and watches in awe at the cum that spills from Jisung’s hole. Jisung softly gasps at the feeling, letting out a quiet “holy shit” while his hole tries to clench and keep the cum inside. They’ll definitely need to change the sheets before they sleep.
Jeongin grabs a towel and brings it back, gently wiping up Jisung as best as he can but he’s still tired and it’s making him more clumsy than normal. He gets a little lost in mindlessly watching Jisung as he tries to clean him up until Jisung gently grabs his wrist and sits up.
“C’mon, baby. Let’s shower.”
—
Their shower is long and consists mainly of Jeongin fingering the cum out of Jisung as he complains: “What the fuck, Jeongin, why do you cum so much?”
Jeongin had his suspicions, but didn’t know he came that more than the average man. He just lets the water wash over them until they’re more-or-less clean and cum-free. Jisung does wash his hair for him, though, and the water's warm, so overall it’s a good shower as far as Jeongin’s concerned.
The sheets get changed and they cuddle up underneath the covers, Jeongin laying on his back, letting Jisung hug his side and use his shoulder as a pillow. It’s quiet again, neither wanting to break the comfortable silence they’ve fallen into. There’s this underlying tension between them that’s starting to set in now that they’re both a little more lucid.
Jeongin thinks about what this means for him. For them. He probably fucked up their group dynamic, for real this time, and everyone’s going to hate him. He just knows it. He spirals silently, trying not to wake Jisung up at all. A long time passes, and he almost thinks Jisung’s drifted off to sleep before he breaks the silence.
“So,” Jisung says. He takes a deep breath. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
Jeongin’s breath hitches. Boyfriend? He was expecting to be fuck buddies at best, mortal enemies at worst. But Han Jisung wants to be his boyfriend?
“Really?” He tries to look at Jisung but can’t really see him from this angle. Jisung nods against his shoulder.
‘I- I know I probably didn’t go about it in the best way with the whole, like, sending you nudes stuff, but I really like you.”
Jeongin smiles. “I really like you, too, hyung. Of course I’ll be your boyfriend.”
Jisung props himself up so he’s caging Jeongin in with his arms, only to leave a peck on his lips. “Good,” he says gently before settling back down on top of him. Jeongin would be embarassed about how Jisung can probably hear his heart rabbiting in his ribcage, although he can feel how Jisung’s is doing the same where they're pressed together.
Eventually, their heartbeats slow back down and their breathing evens out as they fall asleep tangled up together. Jeongin drifts off thinking he can surely get used to this. He just hopes Jisung’s next nude is a good one.