Chapter Text
The sky was red.
Not the beautiful sunset many could picture when reminded of the colour, but the bloody one. One of despair and loss, of uncertainty and an inability to find a way out. Red, that Peter once saw as a beacon of hope, was now nothing more than a reminder of what he had done. Of what he hadn’t done.
His incapability of protecting what should’ve been safe and sound, his family and friends bearing the weight of his failures. His indecisiveness as to what a true hero should do and who he should protect now came bearing fruits in the form of the rippling sky, an image so overwhelming that he could do nothing but watch. Watch the red sky in silence, seeing the immediate results from when he wasn’t capable of protecting his universe and the people he loved. Something he had failed at, all because they were connected to Spider-Man.
The monsters and villains that were a threat to the whole universe, the ones that were trying to breach through the distorted sky in order to reach them, were all but Peter’s fault. All because the power he had come with great responsibility. It came with the loss of childish innocence that he once had and opened his eyes to the real world, the world of cruelty and death. That no matter what he did, those he loved would eventually meet their end. Just like May.
And so Peter knew what he had to do, there was no other way.
He stumbled to his feet, clutching at his surely broken ribs, and trudged closer to Doctor Strange with a grim yet resolute expression. His voice was soft, quiet under the loudness of his failure and fear of being forgotten, but it didn’t shake. It was a ragged thread yet stable, as if he was sure of his decision, where in reality he was nowhere near being certain. “You said they were coming here because of me, right?”
Peter waited until Doctor Strange nodded, the older man distracted enough by trying to keep the invading threat in check to not immediately understand where Peter was going with the question, before continuing. “Then make everyone forget. Not just Spider-Man, but Peter Parker.”
Peter watched as Strange paused before turning to face him, eyes portraying shock, loss, and anger. The wizard must know this was the only way, must have understood Peter’s implications, and he wasn’t happy with it. But there was no other way. It was either Peter or the universe, but that didn’t stop him from at least trying to dissuade Peter from this sacrifice. “But everyone who knows and loves you, we’d...” his eyes widened slightly, as if only just now realising the severity of Peter’s offer. “We’d all forget who you are.”
“I know. But you know there’s no other option. I have to do this if I want everyone to stay safe.” Peter said, voice trembling slightly at his idea, but not enough for him to back out. Not when he could assure that Ned, MJ, Happy and everyone else could stay alive. They would get to be happy, as long as Peter wasn’t in the picture. “Just let me say my goodbyes?”
Strange kept staring at Peter, the young hero that lost more than he should have ever had, the boy whose life got taken from him the moment he decided to do good. Maybe even sooner. But despite his own opinion, he knew Peter was right. No matter what he thought, nor how Peter seemed so sure yet terrified at the thought of being forgotten, he knew it really was the only way.
So he nodded. Slowly, as if not yet believing this was actually happening.
Peter nodded back and immediately swung away from him, just in case he decided to change his mind, and landed softly by MJ and Ned, who overheard his conversation with Strange. His friends, his soulmates that he would have to leave, and live with the knowledge they got to be safe and alive as long as he wasn’t around. They would lose their memories, but Peter would lose his support. He would lose the only people left in his world that knew the real him and loved him for who he was. But it didn’t matter. Being forgotten was better than them being dead. He would still have memories of them. It would be enough.
For a moment, Peter just stayed right where he stood, taking in his friends for possibly the last time. Trying to remember exactly how they looked, so he could reminisce in the future, when he’d be all alone- Peter shook his head, it wasn’t important right now. He would deal with the thought later. Instead, he focused on clearing his throat and keeping his expression as normal as never. “You heard what we agreed upon with Stephen, right?”
Ned nodded hesitantly, tears in his eyes that spilled over his soot-covered cheeks. “Yeah, dude. Is there really no other way?”
“You know there isn’t, Ned. The sky is being torn open as we speak, so I only have a little time to say my goodbyes.” Peter explained sagely, because no matter how sure or unsure he was of his decision, it still hurt so damn much. The thought of losing his friends seemed almost unbearable. But instead of wallowing in his pity, at least for now, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Ned, who immediately reciprocated the hug.
They stayed like this for as long as time could allow before Peter eventually pulled away, misty eyes staring into Ned’s brown ones as he gave his best friend a small, strained yet real, smile. “I’ll miss you, dude.”
Ned sniffled, wiping at his eyes before calling back, “I’ll miss you too, Peter.”
With one last glance, Peter turned to the side and faced MJ, a person that was both his friend and a lover, and couldn’t help a single tear that slid down his cheek. MJ stepped towards him and put both her hands on his cheeks gently, which Peter couldn’t help but lean forward to. He closed his eyes and pressed their foreheads together, murmuring softly against her lips. “You won’t remember this ever happened, MJ. But know that I love y-”
Peter got interrupted by MJ pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, softly ending his proclamation of love as she looked at him, her eyes pooling with tears, yet her face looked as strong and brave as ever. “Stop, Peter. You will tell me when you find us again. You will make us remember, you hear me?”
He remained silent for a beat, his eyes closing as he tried to sort through all his thoughts being jumbled in his brain right now. But no matter how much he wanted to promise that, Peter couldn’t possibly lie to her in their last moments together. Because once they forgot about him, he had no intention of making them remember him once again. Not when they suffered so much, all because they were connected to Spider-Man.
So instead, he settled on a soft, “I’ll try to come find you the second you both are safe, yeah?” Peter met MJ’s gaze before giving her another soft kiss to her lips, foreheads still pressed together, before he had to grit his teeth and force himself to pull away.
He stepped back and simply held contact with Ned and MJ before he eventually managed to give them a big smile, all soft and hopeful like he always was, despite feeling anything but.
He didn’t let himself look back as he shot out a single web and moved away. Away from his friends, away from his last family that would no longer remember him. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pain igniting in his chest when he picked up on the sound of Ned’s sobs. Tuning them out as he returned to where Strange was waiting for him on the other side of the destroyed plaza.
“I’m ready, sir.” He said in the most convinced way he could, not letting any despair or pain slip into his voice as he stepped forward until he was right in front of the wizard. “I’ve said my goodbyes.”
“...Okay, kid.” Strange nodded after a second too long before shocking Peter by opening a portal that showed his clattered flat on the other side. “I can give you two minutes to pack everything you think you’ll need before I won’t be able to hold the villains back.”
Peter didn’t need the man to finish his sentence before he was stepping through the portal, clutching at his chest, whether from the pain in his ribs or the sight of May’s their flat.
He took a shuddering breath in before willing his legs to work, limping fast through the living room that was once full of life, but now devoid of it, and towards his room that still had the broken, taped-up window as another proof of just how much of a mess he had made.
Peter ignored it in favour of packing his stuff, moving as quick as he possibly could so he didn’t keep Strange waiting. Grabbing his duffel bag, he grabbed his wallet and stuffed as many pieces of clothing he could until half of the bag’s space remained, managing to squeeze a few vials of web fluid and other gadgets he thought he could need before moving, always moving, never once stopping. Rummaging around the empty, too empty, flat in search of more necessities he would need in the unknown.
Peter placed his toiletries inside and headed back to the living room, stepping around the rubble and dirt as he filled the bag to the brim with any sort of imperishable food he could find and the few special protein bars he still possessed. He hesitated, just for a moment, before stashing the emergency fund he and May always kept inside, too, because no one would ever use it anymore.
Zipping the full bag shut, Peter hung it over his shoulder before making his way back towards the flickering portal, only to stop dead in his tracks when he spotted the photo album sitting innocently on the coffee table. He could feel tears brimming in his eyes, because once he was gone, no one would ever see and cherish these pictures as much as he and Aunt May did. No one would be there to remember the memories they held, no one would be there to remember the people in them. No one but Peter.
So it came as no surprise when he suddenly snatched the album and stuffed it into his already-filled bag before zipping it up for the last time. He barely spared the empty flat one last glance before exiting through the portal, momentarily blinded as he came back to the world outside. The world where he once again saw the red, red sky.
Peter took a deep breath and forced himself to appear as calm and confident as he could hope to, trying to hide his limp as he finally stood face to face with Strange and simply nodded, whether in gratitude or in farewell, he couldn’t decide.
“I’m ready, sir.”
He was met with yet another pitying look, the ones he hated because he always saw them right after losing his loved ones, and took a deep breath in. Steeling himself as the wizard performed another spell, ironically painfully similar to the one Peter had messed up so royally.
The second Strange finished chanting the spell, Peter could feel his entire being on fire, as if each and every particle of him was being pulled apart, torn before being put back, but in a wrong place.
He tried to breathe through the agony, gritting his teeth so hard he felt one of his molars crack. The last thing he heard were the quiet words of Strange, full of loss and pity, “I'm sorry, Peter. It was the only way. I promise you’ll find a family.” before everything turned black.