Work Text:
Last Kiss
by luvsbitca
Jamie reached down to touch his toes before undoing his laces and toeing his shoes off. He sat down and took the water bottle out of Will's hand and reached up and back for his phone; he wondered where Roy was today. Jamie frowned down at the phone – no notifications. He opened the message app and brought Roy up; smiling at the good morning messages they'd shared this morning and then sent the older man a text asking how Norway was today.
One week prior
Roy jostled Jamie as he reached for his phone.
"Stupid phone," Jamie told him as Roy answered with one hand.
"Hello…Ruth? Of course, I'll be there as quickly as I can. No, fucking hell…you're a doctor don't do anything stupid. Yeah, okay."
Jamie sat up and turned to Roy as soon as he mentioned needing to leave – Ruth was at work and Phoebe was upstairs asleep; what could possibly have happened.
"Roy?" Jamie asked when Roy dropped the phone next to him. "Is she alright?"
Roy looked up at him. "No, she's broken her arm, and I need to go and collect her. Can you stay with Phoebe?"
"Of course. How did she break it?"
"Said it happened an hour ago so it's all set and everything, but she needs a lift home."
"You're bringing her here, right?" Jamie asked him.
Roy nodded.
"Go on then, I'll sort out the spare room for her."
"Thanks," Roy pressed a kiss to Jamie's lips – slightly to the left which he always did when his kisses were just a little less focussed.
An hour later, Roy came back with Ruth plodding behind him looking a little battered.
"Hi, Jamie," she said, sighing. "I'm going to have a shower."
"With your arm?" Roy asked.
Jamie bit at his bottom lip.
"Yes," Ruth told him.
"I made up the spare bedroom down here for you," Jamie told her. "I pulled your pjs out of the drawer for you."
Ruth thanked him and walked away from Roy and his worried frown.
Jamie walked over to Roy and slid his arms around the older man's waist and kissed Roy's chin. Roy startled and then rolled his eyes and smiled.
"She slipped over when someone was struggling and there happened to be something on the floor. She landed awkwardly on her arm and broke it."
"She's safe and okay," Jamie told him.
Roy growled.
"These things happen."
Roy growled again, chest rumbling against Jamie's. Jamie smiled and kissed Roy's lips.
"You're a menace," Roy told him.
Jamie nodded. "It's one of my best traits."
Roy's eyebrows came together but he didn't comment. "She's supposed to fly to Norway day after tomorrow."
Jamie nodded; she was one of the parent chaperones on a school trip that Phoebe was leaving for on Tuesday for a fortnight. "Maybe she can still go?"
"She can," Roy told him. "But what about the adventure activities they have planned?"
Jamie hmmed, tucking his face into Roy's neck. "It's still pre-season, maybe you can go?"
Roy nodded into Jamie's neck. "You better not get slack on your training just because I'm not there to chase you."
Jamie sighed and slumped. "My evil plan is thwarted."
"You're an arse," Roy stepped back from Jamie. "I'm going to make her something to eat."
"An omelette," Jamie suggested, following behind Roy as he went to the kitchen. Jamie hopped up on the bench next to the stove.
"Don't sit on the bench," Roy told him, smacking at his knee. "Phoebe does everything you fucking do."
Jamie grinned at him. "She likes me."
"She knows when I tell her off, she can just beam at me and point at your uncouth arse."
"My arse is not uncouth…I don't think."
Roy growled and ignored him to focus on the eggs he was whipping. Jamie rested back and watched the tense lines of Roy's shoulders; he knew how worried Roy always was about his sister. He knew Ruth could take care of herself, but he was her big brother and he wanted to protect her. Jamie understood; he couldn't protect his mum from his dad and Roy hadn't been around to protect Ruth and Phoebe from her ex-husband until eventually she'd left, and he'd finally known what was happening.
"Are you making me an omelette?" Ruth asked, surprising them both.
Roy pointed his elbow at Jamie. "This one thinks omelettes fix everything."
Jamie shrugged. "It were the only thing me mummy could really cook. So, it was what she made when I were having a bad day."
"You brought that cake home the last time you were in Manchester," Ruth said.
Jamie laughed. "I didn't mean she made it, sorry, I just meant we brought it home from Mummy's. Simon does all the cooking; didn't even know you could make half the stuff Simon made when he started seein' mummy. I loved that he looked after her but I was wary of him for a long time…still ate his food though."
Ruth barked out a laugh.
"Do you want me to see if I can come to Norway with you?" Roy asked. "Share the job when they are doing the scrambling over ruins and rocks?"
Ruth smiled at him. "You have work."
"I'll pretend to be him," Jamie offered, dropping his voice to a gruff imitation of Roy that neither of them seemed to think was very accurate if Roy's eyeroll and Ruth's bitten back laugh was any indication. "Fine, see if I offer to help again."
-)(-)(-
Cockburn bumped his shoulder into Jamie as Nate and Beard rolled the TV into the room. "Weird they ain't taking us to the-"
Jamie's phone rang so Jamie held up a finger and Cockburn just grinned at him as Jamie answered the phone.
"Hello?" Jamie stood and started walking towards the hallway.
"Jamie," Ruth's voice was weak and sounded strange.
"Ruth, are you okay?"
"He was standing right there," she said. "He reached out for Phoebe and shoved her into my arms and then when the dust all settled, he was gone and there was only a hole."
"Ruth," Jamie's voice was sharp. "What are you talking about?"
"Jamie," Ruth's voice was firm suddenly and made him freeze. "There was an accident…an explosion, everyone else had moved on but Phoebe wanted longer to take photos for her project, and we were there when it exploded. Roy was closest and no one was left when…" she paused on a sob. "No one else is left. Roy's dead-"
Cockburn reached out for Jamie when the man suddenly went boneless and ended up on the floor. Everyone else was up and moving too, Sam took the phone that Jamie had dropped, the screen cracked. Dani started praying as Cockburn and Isaac put Jamie into the recovery position before they realised Jamie was actually muttering something and curled his arms around Dani's knees. Everyone turned to Sam who was listening and silently walking over to the TV that Nate had been setting up. He took the remote off Nate and fiddled with something until they ended up with the news and scenes of some form of disaster.
"What can we do?" Sam asked.
He listened in, nodding, and then turned around and looked at the team. He continued listening, eyes glued to Jamie – eyes popping for a moment before nodding again.
"Sam?" Beard said.
"Of course we will," Sam said. "I'm sorry, Ruth."
"Ruth?" Isaac mumbled in question.
"Roy was there," Sam said, voice loud in the suddenly quiet room. "He was closest to the explosion, and he saved Phoebe but Ruth hasn't seen him since he pushed Phoebe into her arms and pushed them both over. The emergency services are there and there is nothing we can do. They are taking her to the hospital so they can both be checked out."
Cockburn watched the team move around the room, finding places to sit down. The news played out in front of them all. Sam disappeared from the room and Cockburn stayed sat next to Jamie and Dani who was leaning over Jamie, tears in his eyes. Rebecca, Sam, and Higgins walked in, looking around at the room and then walking over to Beard and Nate. They conferred for a few moments and then Rebecca pulled the teams' attention to them.
"Hello everyone, as you know, our Manager – Roy was caught in a…Roy is, we don't know what's happening. The press has not yet caught wind of the fact that Roy was involved so I'm going to send everyone home before we are inundated by reporters. I'm going to talk to the other department heads, and we'll close down the Dogtrack for as long as we need to. Nate or Beard will reach out to you but please know that Dr Sharon will also be available to talk. This is a moving situation, and I will keep you updated and ask the media to reach out to me for any comments so hopefully you can ignore them." She stopped and looked at Jamie. "Is someone able to take Jamie home?"
After that it was a flurry of activity; everyone left – Cockburn driving Dani and Jamie back to Jamie's house in Jamie's car. Dani didn't drive so that was easy and Cockburn caught an uber back to the Dogtrack to drive himself back to Jamie's house. He arrived to find Dani and Jamie sitting silently on the couch – the TV on in front of them.
"Jamie," Cockburn asked, sitting in front of Jamie.
"He's not talking," Dani told him.
Cockburn nodded and moved over to the chair and was about to sit down when Jamie stood up.
"Ja-"
"I don't want to be here," Jamie told them, starting for the front door.
Cockburn and Dani stared at one another and then jumped up and followed Jamie who was shoving his feet into shoes that were still tied.
"Where are we going?" Dani asked.
Jamie reached out for his keys.
"No," Cockburn said. "I'll drive."
Jamie let him take the keys, but Cockburn really wasn't sure the other man even knew he was there.
"Jamie," Dani said, grabbing Jamie's shoulders. "Where are we going?"
"I want to be at Roy's for when he comes home," Jamie told them.
Dani and Cockburn looked at one another and then turned off the television and followed Jamie out of the house. Dani locked the door behind them as Cockburn steered Jamie towards his own car. When they arrived at Roy's, Jamie let himself in, toed off his shoes and left them behind to walk up two flights of stairs to the top of the house. The other two men followed him up as watched as he threw back the covers and crawled into the bed.
"How long have they been together?" Cockburn asked Dani.
"I did not know they were together," Dani said. "But those clothes are Jamie's."
Cockburn followed the nod of Dani's head to the clothes hanging in the robe which was sitting ajar.
"That's pretty serious," Cockburn said.
"Ruth called him."
Cockburn nodded and they both left Jamie alone to go back downstairs.
"Should I make him a cup of tea?" Cockburn asked.
Dani shrugged. "I could go out and buy some tequila."
Cockburn huffed out a breath.
"I can't believe Roy is gone," Dani said, crossing himself and pressing his fingers to his lips before saying something under his breath.
"He might be found," Cockburn said, but the hope felt hollow somehow. "I'm going to turn on the TV and see if there's any news."
The news presenter was just summarising what they knew so far.
"At 11:34am this morning in the southern area of Florø, an explosion occurred, at the moment little is known about what caused the explosion. A British school group was in Florø from the Richmond area and it's been reported that Roy Kent, Manager of Richmond AFC, was a part of the group. Most of the group was further south of the area and it is believed all children did survive the explosion. Representatives for Roy Kent are unwilling to comment on whether he is missing at this point but did confirm that he was in fact in the area with his sister and niece on the school trip. The number of people missing is still rising though officials are concerned about exact numbers as they area is a tourist attraction without much infrastructure. We go now to Norway for an update on the search and rescue process."
"Fuck," Dani said. "That looks terrible."
Cockburn looked at the hole on the screen, huge and full of rubble. Roy was in there…he realised the hope he'd been holding onto was almost pointless. He looked at the ceiling above him and thought about Jamie up there obviously having lost someone they hadn't even known he was in a relationship with.
A phone rang sometime later when they had been simply staring at the screen in front of them. Cockburn startled and patted his pocket, but it wasn't his. He saw Dani doing the same and then they realised the sound was coming from Dani's bag. He leaned forward and pulled Jamie's phone out of the material.
"Hello?" Dani asked, answering. "Hello, Jamie's mummy, how are you? Yes, we are at Roy's house. Jamie is upstairs in bed. We'll see you then. Goodbye."
Dani turned to Cockburn. "Georgie is coming here to be with Jamie; they just arrived in London."
Cockburn nodded. "Thank goodness someone thought to call her."
Dani nodded. "Who?"
Cockburn shrugged. "Obviously Ruth and Georgie know they're together."
"Why didn't they tell us?"
Eighteen months ago
"You kissed me," Jamie said, poking Roy in the side.
Roy groaned. "You then fucked me."
"Yeah, but you kissed me first and then we had sex."
"I know."
"And what does that mean?"
"That I wanted to kiss you."
"Roooooooy," Jamie whined, curling closer. "What does that mean?"
Roy groaned and then kissed Jamie. "That I have feelings for you and wanting to kiss you outweighed the fact that I know I shouldn't because I'm your manager."
"Who cares if you're my manager?"
"This is sexual harassment."
Jamie rolled his eyes. "I've been sexually assaulted, this ain't that."
Roy froze. "What?"
"Nothing like that, just a bunch of people kissing me without asking or groping me when I didn't want 'em too. And I did talk to Dr Sharon about Amsterdam."
Roy growled. "Those fuckers who think we don't need to be asked for permission just because we're footballers."
"Don't want to talk about that," Jamie told him. "You like me?"
Roy nodded. "I'm fucking in love with you; wouldn't have risked my job just because you're fucking fit."
Jamie made a noise between a squeal, squeak, and laugh before launching at Roy and kissing him. "I love you too, fucking hell, really, thank fuck, I thought I was just going to be unrequired in my love for you forever."
"Unrequited," Roy told him.
Jamie thought for a moment and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds better."
"Wait…" Roy paused. "Unrequited?"
"I've been in love with you for fucking years…like total hero worship, then thought you was fucking fit, and then met you want wanted all of your fucking attention and then you fucking got sad and hot with that fucking beard after you retired. I wanted to feel that thing on my arse while you ate me out." Roy blinked at him. "Yeah, then you started fucking training me and I had to wank off before and after training because you weren't following me inside to fuck me on the floor just inside my door."
Roy huffed out and Jamie felt the kick of the older man's cock against his hip.
"Like that?"
"Yes," Roy growled out.
-)(-)(-
Jamie felt the bedclothes move and the smell of home hit him; he didn't want Roy's smell to disappear. He pulled away but he froze when he heard it.
"Jamie, baby," Georgie said.
Jamie flipped over and squirmed over into her arms. Georgie wrapped her arms around him and started humming a Bangles song in his ear.
"Mummy," Jamie grasped out. "He's gone."
"Oh, baby."
Downstairs, Cockburn, Simon, and Dani froze when they heard the heartbreaking sobs coming from above them. All of five minutes before, Simon and Georgie had knocked on the door – Georgie breezing past them and up the stairs while Simon introduced himself and promised to take care of Jamie.
"We'll go," Dani said, tearing up. "If he needs anything he has all of our numbers."
"Thank you," Simon said, seeing them out and then going to the spare room on the ground floor. He knew Georgie and Jamie would be up there together for as long as they needed to and the sounds coming down broke his heart, so he went into the kitchen to see what food was available. He knew Roy had been away for only a few days and Jamie was all but living here and yet there wasn't much in his fridge so Simon wrote himself a quick shopping list because Jamie wouldn't want to but he needed to eat and Simon was going to keep him going until he was eventually ready to leave the bed. He left a note and ducked out of the house, stealing Jamie's keys from the sideboard.
Upstairs, Jamie hiccoughed and held his mum closer. "He saved Phoebe."
Georgie nodded. "Of course he did."
"He wouldn't have let her…he wasn't even supposed to be there but she's alive because he was there."
Georgie sobbed and pulled him closer. "I know, my sweet baby, of course he was there to save her."
The phone rang and Jamie started, realising it was the house phone next to the bed. No one had fucking house phones anymore except for fucking Roy Kent. Jamie reached out for the phone but didn't say hello in case it was reporters who had somehow found out this number.
"Jamie?"
Jamie clenched his fist to dig his nails into his palms. "Phoebe."
Phoebe started sobbing and Jamie had no choice but to join her, crying with her from England and wishing he could protect her from this pain. They cried together for a few minutes before Phoebe snuffled and slowly started calming down. Jamie forced himself to match her.
"I don't want him to be dead," Phoebe whispered.
"Me either," Jamie said. "He…he might be found."
There was a pause on the other end and Jamie's heart broke again.
"There was just nothing there when we looked."
Jamie tried to catch his breath…he didn't want to believe it…couldn't believe it; why would the universe take Roy from Jamie before he had even had him for long enough to give him the ring Jamie had bought.
"I was going to ask him to marry me," Jamie found himself telling her in a whispered voice.
"Will you be my uncle anyway?" Phoebe asked.
"Of course, Phoebe, of course, where's your mum?"
"She's getting an x-ray and I wanted to talk to you."
"Of course, Phoebe, I'm always here for you."
"I tried your mobile first."
"I don't even know where it is, but I'll find it," Jamie promised; thankful that Roy was such a grandad that he still had a home phone.
"You're not alone, right?"
Jamie shook his head. "Mummy is here with me."
"Good."
"Are you okay, Phoebe? Are you hurt?"
"I have some bruises," Phoebe told him. "And scratches and I bit my lip and I want to have a hug from Uncle Roy."
"Me too," Jamie told her. "I wish I was there to hug you."
Phoebe started crying again and Jamie sat with her, wishing he were in Norway. At some point, Jamie heard another voice in the background and realised Ruth was back.
"Hello, Jamie?"
"Ruth, how are you?"
"I've broken my cast but the arm is okay so they need to redo the cast and then we can leave," Ruth told him.
"What do you need? I can charter a private jet to get you home as soon as you are ready."
Ruth sobbed. "I can't…I can't…sorry, Roy…I can't leave him here."
Jamie tried to hold the tears back. "I can fly over."
"I don't know what to do, Jamie."
"I can be there tomorrow," he promised her. "I know some people with planes, I'm sure I can get there."
"There's nothing you can do," she sounded winded, like she couldn't breathe. "But I don't want to be alone."
Jamie sat up. "Mum's here, talk to her for a minute."
Georgie took the phone. "Ruth, I'm so sorry."
Jamie rushed down the stairs, trying very hard not to fall down the stairs in his haste. He looked around the ground floor and couldn't see Simon, but he knew he was here somewhere. He looked around for his bag but couldn't find it and wasn't even that sure how he'd made it home from the club. The phone wasn't in his hoodie which he was still wearing so it should be here…he went to the coffee table and sighed when he spotted it there; not remembering putting it down. He grabbed it and rushed back up the stairs, calling Rebecca as he went.
"Jamie?" Rebecca answered.
"Hi Ms Welton, can I borrow your private jet?"
There was a beat and then a sigh. "I sold it, Nora kept reminding me of my duty to the environment, but I can get you one; when are you leaving?"
"As soon as you can get me, my Mum and Simon on a flight."
"I'll call you back," she said, saying goodbye and hanging up.
Jamie sat back on the bed and took the phone back. "Ruth, I'll be there as soon as I can get on a plane."
"Simon, love," Jamie heard his mother behind him. "Come back, we're going to Norway."
Jamie breathed; maybe they'd even let him help search for survivors.
Sixteen Months Ago
Jamie knocked on Roy's front door, waiting patiently for the other man to answer. As soon as he did, Jamie stepped inside and was yanked into Roy's arms and pressed into the door as it slammed closed. Roy's hand left his side only to turn to lock and then was back on Jamie's side, sliding up under his top until Roy's fingers played over his ribs. He curled his fingers into Roy's hair, sinking into the older man's arms and lips.
"This is your fault," Jamie gasped as Roy moved down his neck. Roy bit down on the juncture between neck and shoulder in retaliation. "If you hadn't told me I couldn't come over until after the final game we could have been doing this for the last fortnight."
Roy growled at him and deadlifted Jamie by the hips. Jamie wrapped his legs around Roy's waist with a weak-voiced moan. Jamie thanked the universe for knee surgery and Roy's muscles.
An hour later, Roy collapsed into Jamie. Jamie wrapped his arms around Roy, holding his body weight close. Roy huffed into his neck.
"A fortnight," Jamie lamented into Roy's hair later.
Roy's body jiggled above him with laughter. "That decision was from your manager not your boyfriend."
Jamie beamed up at the ceiling.
"It's been two months," Roy pointed out.
"Still mint that you want to be me boyfriend."
Roy sighed and made the move to roll away, but Jamie wouldn't let him go.
"Not yet," Jamie told him.
"If your come dries in my hair again I'm making you clean it out," Roy grumbled at him.
"As if I need a reason to get into the shower with you."
"You're a fucking menace."
"Thank you," Jamie said, smacking a kiss to Roy's ear. "What time do we fly out tomorrow?"
"3pm and we'll arrive in Male in the Maldives and then it's another flight by seaplane to Thaa Atoll so we should be there in time for dinner."
"And we're at one of those bungalows on the water?"
Roy nodded. "I must be getting heavy."
"Never," Jamie told him, tightening his hold. "Does this mean we can swim naked?"
Roy sighed and went completely limp on top of Jamie. "I will not have my cock bitten off by a fucking turtle."
"Fuck no, we must protect your cock. It's a fucking amazing cock."
Roy laughed. "I'm fucking attached to it too."
"Could we at least have sex in the ocean. I'll just put my hand down your bathers?"
"I suppose," Roy said with a grunt, he pressed his hands into the bed on either side of Jamie and pushed himself up and off.
"Noooooo," Jamie complained and followed him up and out of the bed towards the shower.
Roy reached back and grabbed Jamie's hand, tugging him along. "Quit your fucking whining and I'll make you dinner."
"Okay," Jamie said with a bounce.
-)(-)(-
Jamie curled back into his mother after he'd called Ruth back so she wasn't paying for the phone call and left them on speaker so Phoebe could talk if she needed too. Georgie was singing Taylor Swift songs with Phoebe now and Jamie wanted to tell her to stop and never stop. He closed his eyes as he cried into her shirt.
Twelve Months Ago
Roy sighed and held still as Jamie's glam person worked on his beard. It was going to be a rainbow of glitter and Roy had happily agreed to it when Jamie and Phoebe had suggested it.
Roy's 'guy' – who Roy never used pronouns for like all of them much to Jamie's surprise when Roy's theatre tickets guy was a petite redhead named Mary, had organised tickets for Roy, Georgie, Jamie, Phoebe, and Ruth to the Eras Tour.
Jamie's glam person had finished with his hair – bleached and dyed in a range of lover blues, pinks, and purples and spiked with his natural curl. Jamie was wearing a Lover inspired bodysuit with a slight change to give his backside room because he might love Taylor, but she hadn't have his football bum. Phoebe was the last to go for glam and she was sitting perched on the bench watching as Roy was glittered up. Jamie hadn't changed yet and would wait until Roy was done too as he needed a little help getting the bodysuit on; Jamie had been practising in the heeled boots for a few weeks.
Ruth was wearing a Reputation bodysuit that Jamie had had made for her specially when she admitted it was her favourite album.
Simon was sitting in the corner – watching all of this go on with a plate of homemade bagels he was trying out.
Georgie had asked him for a Speak Now dress which he'd had made in the pouffiest style. She'd cried the first time she'd tried it on. Jamie knew it was her favourite album because she remembered being too young in a relationship with someone who was much older and abusive; she'd cried like a baby on the phone with him the first time they'd listened to Would've Should've Could've. They'd long ago decided that Long Live was their song; his song and he'd made it to fucking Wembley and the English cap. She had told him once that the album also reminds her of the feeling of falling in love with Simon.
Roy told Jamie his favourite album was Evermore but they were going with a Red look for him – they had a A LOT GOING ON AT THE MOMENT shirt and he was wearing a pair of short black shorts with his normal black sneakers.
They'd all, even Roy, been making friendship bracelets for months. Roy had presented his first one to Jamie – 'I lover you' and Jamie had jumped him…carefully around the containers of beads.
Gaia finished with Roy – spraying over the glitter to ensure it wouldn't move before allowing him to stand and leave. Phoebe slid into the chair with a bounce and Gaia started releasing the curlers from her hair. Phoebe's favourite album was Midnights but she'd wanted a more debut/Folklore because she was young and because she really wanted to wear a tassel dress. They'd made it in a glittery, sparkling midnights look blue-purple which would allow her to twirl as though she was up at midnight thinking about her ghosts instead of being a well-adjusted pre-teen who had had therapy after her parents' divorce.
Roy followed Jamie into the bedroom of the hotel suite Roy and Jamie staying at near Wembley; Ruth and Phoebe along with Georgie and Simon also had rooms so they could all make a whole weekend out of it. Roy was wearing a hairdresser's cape to keep the glitter off his outfit for now. Jamie stripped off, shaking his backside at Roy who laughed at him.
"Did you actually need to wear a lacy g string?"
"It's a lover one," Jamie told him turning around to show off the colours that complimented his hair. "I had it made special, it's snuggly inside."
"Snuggly?" Roy asked, cocking one eyebrow.
"I'll let you feel it if you ask nicely."
Roy shook his head. "After the concert."
"Probably for the best," Jamie said with a sigh. "I think some cornstarch baby powder to make it easy to slip on."
Roy watched Jamie powder himself with a large puff and then step into a pair of shimmery tights, so he didn't need to shave his legs. Then he stepped into the bodysuit and Roy helped Jamie shimmy it up his body until he was able to zip it at the back. Roy had refused the manicure with Eras tour nail polish so Jamie let Roy adjust his bodysuit until it was sitting correctly. He looked at himself in the mirror and beamed.
"I'm so fucking fit."
Roy looked at him over his shoulder, watching Jamie move in the mirror. "You are…though the outfit doesn't do much for me."
"Really?"
"I'll still rip you out of it later," Roy told him, rubbing his hands down Jamie's arms.
"You'll zip me out of it like a gentleman," Jamie told him. "You can do whatever you want to my underwear though. Right, help me with my socks and boots so I can go out and get sprayed with body glitter."
"Body glitter?" Roy asked.
"So I can make the whole place shimmer," Jamie told him.
"The cleaning staff are going to hate us."
"We're protecting the room where I get sprayed."
"Yeah, but you're not washing it off when we get back."
Jamie beamed at him, dancing away.
-)(-)(-
Jamie reached out for his phone as his mum sang with Phoebe, flicking through his photos until he found the album from that night. He traced a finger along the line of Roy's cheek where it met the bright rainbow beard as the tears started tumbling down again. He flickered over to Spotify and played Bigger Than The Whole Sky and sobbed…it might not have been written for this, but he'd wanted Roy for longer. Jamie had planned to marry Roy, drag him to Europe when he finally took that offer from one of the big clubs that were consistently in the Champions League. Jamie had planned to spend his old age with Roy because he was already spending Roy's old age with him.
Jamie laughed into a sob. Georgie stopped taking, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair again.
"I can't call him grandad when he's being all old anymore," Jamie said, struggling against the tears. "Or when he'd a fucking grandad."
"He's never going to get to propose to you," Phoebe cried.
"What?" Jamie asked.
"Mum and I went with him to buy you a ring."
"Phoebe," Ruth said through the phone. "He might…he might be okay."
"Yes, Mummy," Phoebe said in a small voice.
Jamie's phone rang and he had to hand it to his mother to answer.
"Hello?" Georgie asked, putting the phone on speaker.
"Georgie?" Rebecca asked.
"Hi," Jamie said on a sob.
"A friend is lending me a plane to get you to Norway, flying out of Farnborough to Florø and will be ready for take-off in ninety minutes. I've organised my car to be at Jamie's house in an hour."
"We're at Roy's," Georgie told her.
"Thank you, Rebecca," Jamie told her wiping at his eyes and trying to breathe. "I'll pay you and them and anyone else back or you can-"
"Jamie," Rebecca said, voice calm and authoritative. "It's okay, don't worry about anything else."
"Thank you, Rebecca."
"Give my name at reception. I've told them there are three travelling. Do you need me to organise accommodation?"
"No," came through the other phone, "I'll talk to the hotel where we're staying."
"Thanks, Ruth."
"If you need anything, let me know," Rebecca said.
"We need to get ready," Jamie said, rubbing at his eyes.
"You stay here," Georgie said, leaning over and kissing each of Jamie's closed eyelids before she climbed out of bed. "I'll pack you a bag. Simon and I have bags downstairs."
Jamie nodded, wrapping his arms around Roy's pillow and breathing in that scent of fresh skin and soap that clung to Roy at night when he slipped into bed. Roy loved a shower before bed, sliding into the soft sheets and pulling Jamie close. Jamie hadn't slept without that smell in months except when they were away for games, and he would never get to smell it again. He was going to Norway, and he was going to be with Ruth, but Roy would never again grumble at Jamie when the younger man left teacups on the bedside table or the kitchen table, the side table in the sitting room or outside on the garden table. Jamie would never again feel cold toes pressed to his shins in winter because Roy refused to wear fucking socks around the house.
"No," Jamie said, standing up. "I need to do something."
Georgie watched him collect a bag and move over to the robe pulling open drawers and collecting a stack of underwear Georgie was pretty sure wasn't her son's. She followed him in, pulling open other drawers until she found the right ones and collected some of Jamie's own underwear and sliding it into another bag. She picked out his favourite hoodies, a selection of tops, and some soft pants as well as a pair of jeans, his big jacket and some shoes. He wandered back and forth collecting an assortment of clothing including his rainbow pride mesh top. Georgie left him to it, going into the bathroom to grab what he'd need. She paused on the way out and spotted a photo of Roy and Jamie.
Twelve Months Ago
Jamie struck a pose, letting Gaia snap a few photos.
"One with you, Mummy," Jamie said, holding an arm out. Georgie settled into his side.
They did a number of photos, ones for insta and ones for just them.
"Blank out Phoebe's face," Ruth told Jamie. "But you can post one of all of us on your account."
"Roy?" Jamie asked, looking at the man next to him.
"Fine."
"One for the 'gram," Jamie told Gaia.
"Make sure you get my good side," Phoebe said, striking a pose and holding onto Roy's hand.
"Which is your good fucking side?" Roy asked her.
She looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "My left one, Uncle Roy."
Roy looked at Jamie. "Obviously."
"Obviously," Jamie nodded.
"Smile," Gaia told them.
"Except Roy," Jamie quipped.
Roy growled. "This one better not make it onto any fucking form of social media."
"What one?" Ruth asked.
"Ready?" Roy said, looking at Gaia. He smiled and Gaia took the shot, then another one when everyone realised they were taking a photo.
"What the fuck was that?" Jamie asked, turning to Roy.
"Don't tell anyone."
Jamie smiled, pressing two fingers to his lips and then to Roy's. "You smiled for me."
"And me. Now the rest of you fuck off so he and I can take one just us."
"That's a pound, Uncle Roy."
"That's a fiver," Georgie told him. "Swearing in front of your future mother-in-law."
"Mummy," Jamie said with a laugh.
"Add it to my tab," Roy told her.
Georgie laughed as she moved away with Ruth and Phoebe.
Roy pulled Jamie into his side. Gaia took a few photos; some with Roy smiling and more without. One with Jamie, turned to the side and kicking one heel up as he pressed a kiss to Roy's glittery cheek.
-)(-)(-
Georgie pressed a finger to the bright smile on her son's face and closed her eyes; she couldn't protect him from this and all she'd ever wanted in her life was for him to be happy. Georgie pressed a hand to her chest, eyes closed and trying to breath. The hand on her shoulder startled her.
"Love?"
Georgie turned around and pressed herself into Simon. "My poor baby."
"He might…"
Georgie shook her head. "I looked at the pictures; no one could have survived that. He's lost Roy."
Simon pressed a kiss to her head. "What do we do?"
"Go to Norway," Georgie said. "Go to Norway and just do whatever he and Ruth need."
Simon nodded. "What about Clive and Moira?"
Georgie pulled back and walked over to the bed and the phone. "Ruth?"
"Mummy's in the shower," Phoebe said.
"Okay, how are you sweetheart?" Georgie asked.
"I've already had a shower and changed. I'm sitting in the bed. Mummy didn't want to leave me but she's only having a shower and you're here too."
"Do you need anything?" Jamie asked, suddenly at Georgie's shoulder.
"Mummy said I should try to go to sleep but I'm waiting until she's out of the shower."
"Are you hungry?" Jamie asked.
"No," Phoebe sighed. "Is it okay to turn on the TV?"
"Not the news," Jamie said. "Are there any English channels there?"
"I could watch something on my iPad."
"Good idea," Jamie said. "What are you going to watch?"
"The Eras Tour," Phoebe said.
"I'm all finished packing, I can listen with you," Jamie told her, sitting back on the bed. "The car isn't going to be here for about forty minutes."
"What about Clive and Moira?" Georgie asked. "Will they want to come with us?"
"No," Phoebe said, "Mummy called them and told them to stay at home and she would update them."
Jamie nodded.
"Let's get set up," Jamie said, finding the remote for the TV. He turned it on and found the show, waiting for Phoebe to say she was ready. "Get all comfortable in bed with your squishies."
"I am."
"Good, ready, set, play."
The TV started playing and Jamie muted it, so the sound was only coming from Phoebe's side.
"What's your favourite number, Jamie?"
"Nine."
Phoebe chuckled.
"What's yours, Phoebe?"
"I have two," she quietly. "Six and Eleven."
"Yeah?" Jamie said, tears silently streaking down his cheeks.
"Did you know that the Old English name for eleven is ęndleofon," her voice sure on the pronunciation. "And old Norse and Saxon languages have a connection to that name as well as all of the Germanic languages like English. Plus, it's a prime number and the first one in the double digits…and I was born at 11:17am."
"Wow," Jamie breathed out. "That's amazing."
"Phee?" Ruth's voice reached them.
"Mummy, come and watch."
There was some rustling on the other end of the line and then Ruth's voice again. "What are we watching?"
"The Eras Tour," Jamie answered, "we have it on here too."
"Thank you, Jamie."
Jamie nodded, pressing a finger to his mouth.
"I've booked your rooms under your name Georgie, hopefully that will stave off the press for a while. They were waiting downstairs when we got back but the hotel let us come in through the staff area."
"Fucking vultures," Phoebe hissed. "Worse than umpires."
Jamie's sob escaped this time, eyes squeezed shut tight. Georgie grabbed him close; eyes burning and held him as he shook with the sobs. Simon's hand was firm on her back; reminding her that he was there for them both and the burning turned to tears, blurring her vision and filling the back of her throat with the taste of her grief and impotence to help Jamie.
Nine Months Ago
"You took me to the Maldives last year," Jamie said. "Does that mean it's my turn to take you somewhere hot where we can be naked for 82% of the time."
"Eighty-two?" Roy asked, eyes still closed in the weak early morning light.
"Just swimming…except that one time," Jamie said, voice heavy with a leer, "and cooking."
Roy sighed. "Where do you want to go this time?"
"Australia," Jamie said. "So, I fucking hope you haven't planned anything because I've got it all sorted."
"You have?"
Jamie nodded. "We're-"
"It's winter in Australia," Roy interrupted, cracking one eye open.
"Not up north," Jamie said in what Roy had to assume was the attempt at an Australian accent.
"Really?"
"They have their rainy season in summer when they can get cyclones but this time of the year is perfect for a lovely holiday so we're going to Ningaloo to swim with whale sharks and snorkel and sit on the beach and check out Karijini and Uluru and then over to the Great Barrier Reef before going back to Western Australia to hide in a forest while it rains…or not, for a week. It's going to be amazing…right?"
Roy smiled and snuck one hand over to curl around Jamie's waist; pulling him closer. "Fucking perfect. When do we leave?"
Jamie squealed and wriggled with joy. "Yes."
Roy didn't find out when they were leaving until a few hours later when they finally left the bed.
-)(-)(-
Georgie had never been to Norway. She was deeply happy that Roy and Jamie had extra-large coats for winter games though the Richmond insignia wasn't as lowkey as she wished it were.
They made it into the hotel without incident; Georgie checking in for all of them and organising a way to slip Jamie in. Georgie messaged Ruth hoping she was asleep but suspecting she wouldn't be. The immediate response answered her question, and they went to Ruth's room first. Ruth almost closed the door to the room and collapsed into Jamie's arms.
"Ruth," Jamie said, holding her tightly. "I'm so sorry it took us so long to get here."
Ruth shook her head, face buried in Jamie's neck.
"Ruth, honey," Georgie said. "Why don't you go back to our room with Jamie, and I'll stay here with Phoebe?"
Ruth looked back into the room. "She fell asleep."
"Good, you need this too," Georgie reminded her.
"I just can't…believe he's gone," Ruth cried into Jamie's neck.
"Have they…" Jamie broke off, voice cracking. "Have they found him?" Jamie tightened his grip, chest heaving.
Ruth shook her head. "They said they would let me know if they…I'll have to identify him."
Jamie shook his head. "No, no, you shouldn't have to."
"I'm his sister and he," she closed her eyes on the tears and her body quietly shook. Jamie tucked her into his body and moved them back into the room when Georgie nodded at him. They all walked in, Simon setting himself to make them all a cup of tea while Jamie and Ruth sat down on the couch along one wall. Georgie perched on the second bed – checking on Phoebe first to make sure she was still asleep.
They sat like that for a long time, the occasional hiccupping sob or sniffle as Ruth and Jamie cried together in their shared grief. Georgie drank the tea Simon made, watched her son ignore his own cup, and stood to close the blinds as the sunlight started peeking across the horizon.
"Let's get something to eat," Simon told Georgie. "I know it feels wrong to eat but…"
Georgie nodded. "Let's find something that will keep."
Simon nodded and grabbed the tablet to look at the menu. Placing the order for a continental breakfast that would keep for when they might be able to convince the others to eat.
Georgie fell asleep, leaning against Simon until he shuffled her into the bed properly. She patted at his hand and turned into the pillow.
"Wake me if-"
"Of course, love, sleep."
Thankfully she fell asleep before Jamie let out another quiet sob.
Seven and a half Months Ago
Roy took Jamie's hand and lead him over to the settee.
"Are you breaking up with me?" Jamie asked, eyes wide.
"Fuck no."
Jamie let out a breath.
"I'm serious about you," Roy said.
"I should fucking hope so, I'm basically living with you."
"I'm being serious."
"Okay, serious face," Jamie said, trying to put a serious face on.
Roy leaned over and kissed him. "Fucking muppet."
Jamie grinned at him and chased the kiss.
"Do you want to tell the team?"
"About us?" Jamie asked.
"Yes, about fucking us."
"They can't fuck you, you're mine," Jamie told him.
Roy growled at him.
"Do you want to?" Jamie asked.
"I don't want to be the manager fucking his star player."
Jamie shrugged. "Then we wait."
"You waited last season."
"And when you're ready we'll tell them. The important people know – Mummy and Simon, your family, our friends. The team will understand."
"Will they?"
"Of course, they know you're fucking fit."
Roy growled at him. "Not what I fucking meant."
Jamie shrugged. "We don't owe them this, do we? This is you and me bein' in love and making a life and shit, that's ours and they will get that. 'sides I won't think they'll be that surprised you gave in."
"No, you're very annoying."
"We can decide at the end of the season," Jamie said. "My contract's up and I plan to re-sign but we can come clean then if we want and if it's best for me to move on, I can do that."
"No," Roy said. "If anyone's leaving, it's me."
"What? Why?"
"Because you're still playing. If you want to leave Richmond, then you can but you playing comes first. Then my coaching."
Jamie was going to argue but Roy was right; that's how it needed to be. At the moment his career was the most important one and Roy was probably the only person on the earth who might understand that as well as understand how important it was for Jamie. For that kid from a Manchester council estate. For the kid with an abusive dad and a young mother whose foot was blessed by the gods. For the athlete in his prime who only had so long to play. For the man who could lose it all on a tackle on someone younger and fitter and prickier.
"You're important," Jamie said instead. "Your happiness is important to me."
Roy rubbed at his knee. "But it's your time. So…Richmond or another club or somewhere in Europe or whatever…even fucking America and I'm there too."
"Yeah?"
Roy nodded.
"Wow, even America, you do fucking love me."
Roy rolled his eyes. "I know, there's something wrong with me…mentally."
"Fuck you."
Roy looked at his watch. "Okay."
Jamie smiled and tackled Roy into the sofa.
-)(-)(-
Rebecca called Beard and Nate, waiting for them both to appear.
"Rebecca, hello," Nate said, still looking a little unsure when he spoke to her.
"Hey, boss," Beard offered.
Rebecca let out a sigh. "Still no news, I've declined to comment so far and expressed our deepest sympathies to the victims, our thoughts for the emergency workers. Jamie is currently flying to Norway to be with Ruth and Phoebe. Did either of you know about their relationship?"
"No," Nate said.
"Yeah," Beard offered.
There was a long pause.
"They were slightly less fucked up about each other since last season," Beard offered. "And Jamie kissed Roy on the mouth after the Man City win."
Nate nodded. "He did. He also kissed Dani and Sam."
Beard levelled a look at Nate through the phone.
Rebecca cleared her throat. "Regardless of that, whatever happens with our next match you should plan for Jamie to not be available."
"Are we playing our next match?" Nate asked.
"I can't answer that at the moment and the Chief Executive has already asked. I don't want the team out there if they can't concentrate but we are obligated to play."
"Should be up to the team," Beard said.
Rebecca nodded. "I'll leave it to you to contact them and have those conversations; Nate, until further notice, you are our Acting Manager. If you need additional help with anything reach out to Leslie, he's managing staff. How are you both coping?"
"We don't know until we know," Beard said. "Ted's called all the players."
Rebecca nodded. "He called me too, offered to fly over and help out."
"I don't know what to think at the moment," Nate said. "I want him to be found alive but seeing the footage that seems very unlikely especially given where he must have been to have saved Phoebe."
Rebecca nodded and had to pause, throat tightening. "Remember Dr Sharon is available to anyone who wants to talk including you both."
"Thanks," Nate and Beard said before they ended the call.
Four Months Ago
Jamie threw himself at Roy, pressing a kiss to his lips and then his brain realised what he'd done. He pulled back and span to pull Dani into a quick peck followed by Sam who laughed at him. Colin's arms came up to ward Jamie off. Jamie flipped him off and pressed another kiss on Cockburn's puckered lips before twirling in a circle.
"We fucking beat them," Jamie crowed, jumping up on the middle bench and stamping his feet.
-)(-)(-
Ruth woke with a sigh, pressed tightly into Jamie. She blinked, eyes sore and headache pulsing.
"Shhh," Phoebe said, from where she was next to Ruth. "Uncle Jamie's sleeping still."
Ruth looked at Jamie as well as she could to see him sleeping open mouthed with his head at an odd angle.
"How are you, baby?"
"Okay," Phoebe said. "Georgie and Simon ordered some breakfast; they've gone back to their room to have a shower and change. They said they'd be back, so I gave them a key."
"That's good, baby, how are your bruises; do you need something for them?"
"Georgie gave me one of the tablets from the hospital when I was having breakfast."
Ruth nodded. "I need you to move so I can try and detangle myself. I really need the toilet."
Phoebe climbed up and watched Ruth awkwardly try and extricate herself with only one arm. Somehow, she managed it, sliding a pillow into Jamie's side and hoping it would be enough as she dropped a kiss onto Phoebe's head and went to the bathroom. Ruth looked at herself in the mirror and closed her eyes at the reflection; she didn't want to see how ravaged she looked. She brushed her hair, hissing as her brush hit a bruise on her scalp. Ruth curled her hair into a hair tie with one hand and her thumb before taking out an ibuprofen and a paracetamol, swallowing them with a glass of water and wondering if she was strong enough to deal with this. Roy had always been her…Ruth slid down into the bathtub and curled into herself as she cried silently. Roy was her big brother; he was always supposed to be her big brother – older than her and there. Always there for her, whether it was having her heart broken at fifteen, struggling with her exams at twenty-one, pregnant to a loser at twenty-five, divorced from the loser and needing her big brother, and every fucking day in between. Roy had been her hero from the moment she was born; half the photos of her as a baby are of her staring at him. She was always happiest when she was with him, and she remembered missing him terribly when he was away playing. Ruth didn't want to know a world with Roy; she didn't want to know what it was to be without the person who understood her best and loved Phoebe the most. Finally, she shook her head and wiped her eyes knowing she couldn't stay here crying when Phoebe needed her. She climbed from the bath, washed her face and drank a glass of water.
When she opened the door, she found Phoebe curled into Jamie who was still sleeping. Phoebe sat up and came over to her, wrapping her arms around Ruth. Ruth leaned down and pressed a kiss to her blonde hair and moved them both to Phoebe's bed. She grabbed her phone – she needed to call work and let them know she wasn't going to be back the following Monday, she needed to call her parents, she needed to check in with Roy's lawyer because she was his power of attorney and may need to make decisions if they act…when they found him. She shook her head; she knew better – if they found him, he'd be dead, and she needed to prepare herself and Phoebe for the news.
"Mummy?" Phoebe asked.
"Just thinking I need to call Nana and Grandad."
Phoebe nodded and wriggled around until she could put her head on Ruth's thigh. Ruth opened the contact she'd been given for the emergency services instead and dialled; dropping her hand down to slide through Phoebe's hair. Phoebe turned her iPad on silently and found something to watch.
"Hallo?" answered an accented voice.
"Hello," Ruth said. "It's Ruth O'Sullivan, I'm calling regarding my brother."
"Hello, Ms O'Sullivan, my name is Bjorn, I'm sorry to let you know we have no further news on your brother. Our teams have been working through the night. We have located one body, but they were unfortunately-they had perished."
"Do you know what caused the…caused it?"
"It was a natural gas pocket, there was a small ground vibration felt by our seismic detection field in the minutes before it happened and we believe that when the rocks moved against one another within the natural cave where the gas had accumulated. This ignited the gas; thankfully the pocket isn't strong enough to delay search and rescue. The announcement was made approximately an hour ago."
Ruth looked around the room. "I don't even know what time it is."
"Just after 1pm," Jamie said, startling her.
"Oh," Ruth blinked at him. "I'm on with the emergency services; they haven't found Roy."
Jamie's downcast shoulders somehow deflated.
"I will contact you if anything changes," Bjorn said. "Feel free to call if you'd like updates."
"Thank you, Bjorn-"
"Wait," Jamie said, sitting down next to her. "Ask him if I can do anything, come help or pay for something or buy food or…" Ruth put the phone call on speaker. "Hi, my name's Jamie, can I do anything? Help, pay for something, buy food, organise anything. Money isn't an issue so if there is something that could help, please let me know."
"Hello Jamie, my name's Bjorn. Food is always appreciated; I can provide you with the coordinator's details – she can help you make a donation for food."
"Thanks, any else I can do," Jamie's voice cracked. "Call Ruth and I'll do it."
"Thank you, Jamie, take care of yourselves."
Bjorn gave them the details for Nora and they hung up. Jamie went into the bathroom to call Nora while Ruth called her parents.
"Ruthie," her father answered.
"Hi, Dad," Ruth bit back the desire to cry. "There's no news."
Ruth heard her mum sigh into a sniffle.
"I'm sure they'll find him safe soon," her mother said.
"Did Jamie get there safely?" her father asked.
"Georgie and Simon came with him," Ruth said, resting back into the headboard; she wondered if she needed to do anything with Roy's room. Fuck, they were supposed to check out tomorrow.
"Were they down here?" her dad asked.
Ruth smiled; if anyone could be counted on to ignore the issue and focus on the mundane it would be her dad. "They came down as soon as they heard what happened."
"To make the plane they would have had to make good time on the road."
"Yes, I imagine they did."
"Have you slept, sweetheart?" her mum asked.
"A little," Ruth said, looking up when the main door to the room opened. "Georgie and Simon just got back."
"Okay, sweetheart, I know he's okay, we just have to be patient," her mother said.
"Yes, Mum, I'll call you back tonight."
"Eat something," her father offered.
"Bye," she said. "Love you."
"You too."
Ruth put down the phone and looked at Georgie. She knew her parents would also be beside themselves but they were more comfortable at home worrying than they would be here worrying.
"Oh, sweetheart," Georgie came over and sat next to her, curling one arm over her shoulder.
"I need to call the front desk because we're supposed to check out tomorrow and I need to call work, and I need to call Roy's lawyer for when they find him so I can make decisions and I need to-"
Jamie stepped back into the room. "I've sorted out your room, told them to keep all of them open until we decide to leave."
Ruth nodded.
"Let Mummy call work for you," Jamie said. "You'll need to call the lawyer yourself."
Ruth nodded and slumped into Georgie.
Phoebe looked up at her. "Can I have pancakes for lunch?"
Ruth nodded. "Of course."
"You should eat too," Simon said. "Let me find that tablet and we'll order."
Two Months Ago
"There you are," Roy said, stopping in front of Jamie. "Are you okay?"
"Was it that hard to find me?" Jamie asked, pulling the ice off his cheek. "I'm in the treatment room."
Roy growled at him and closed the door behind him. He walked over and cupped Jamie's cheek carefully, tilting his head up to the light.
"Nothing's broken," Jamie told him.
"You're going to the hospital to be checked out," Roy told him, swiping a gentle thumb over the bright red and blue bruise.
"I've been hit worse."
Roy's eyebrows came together in a tight knot.
"Okay, I'm going to the hospital," Jamie told him, watching the way Roy's jaw unclenched.
"Yes," Roy told him, leaning forward and pressing a very gentle kiss to his cheek and then his lips. "I'm going to call your mum."
"Thank you."
Roy went to walk away and then turned back. He pressed another kiss to Jamie's lips. "I need you to take care of yourself, I'm not ready to lose you."
Jamie smiled gingerly. "I love you too and I'm not going anywhere; you can't get rid of me."
-)(-)(-
Ruth dipped her chip into the tomato sauce and shoved it into her mouth. She hadn't been hungry but something about the salt, fat, and potato of it all made her ravenous and she was glad Jamie had forced her to order the burger as well. And the chocolate milkshake. And the piece of cake. She was now eating the last of the side order of chips that Phoebe had ordered to go with her pancakes and coke spider.
"I don't even know how I ate all of that," Ruth told the room at large.
"When did you last eat?" Georgie asked her. Georgie was a year younger than Roy but at the moment she had such amazing mum energy that Ruth couldn't work out how any of them would make it through without her here.
Seventeen Months Ago
"No!" Roy said, shaking his head.
"Yes," Georgie said, biting her lip to hide her smirk.
Ruth's ribs hurt from laughing so hard.
"He was fucking not," Roy said again.
"Uncle Roy," Phoebe said, voice innocent, "does that mean Jamie is closer to my age than yours?"
"No. Fuck! No!" Roy growled.
"Are you sure?" Ruth gasped out. "After all, you seem to have a terrible time doing maths."
Roy looked at Ruth and then Phoebe before he bared his teeth at her.
"It doesn't matter," Jamie said, dropped his head down onto Roy's tense shoulder.
"You were fucking two when I started playing for Chelsea?"
"Yeah, but I'm in my late twenties now and I've got enough experience to know you're the man for me."
Roy looked at Georgie and then back to Jamie. "Fuck!" He turned and left the room, heading for the kitchen.
"Mummy!" Jamie said. "That was only a little funny."
"I think it was hilarious," Ruth offered.
"Me too," Georgie told him, laughing.
"If he breaks up with me," Jamie said pointing at them both, "there will be hell to pay."
"Hell," Phoebe echoed. "I don't want Uncle Roy to be fucking miserable again like he was when he was pining about Jamie."
"Language," Ruth admonished.
"He was though," Phoebe said folding her arms across her chest and pouting.
Jamie turned and left them to it, following Roy to the kitchen, through the laundry and out to the backyard. Roy was sitting in the on the back verandah next to his large barrel fish pond. Jamie walked over and sat down next to Roy.
"I knew I was older than you."
"Because I called you grandad?"
Roy ground his teeth.
"Or is it because of my good looks and functioning knee."
"You're not helping."
"Roy," Jamie said, sliding his arm across the back of their bench and resting back. "This isn't a big deal; we're both adults and you love me. I love you, who cares about the number on our birthday cakes."
"Fucking hell, you put the right number of candles on, don't you?"
"Yep."
"Is my fucking cake adorned with that many candles?" Roy asked, thinking about the cake that Simon had placed in his fridge.
"No, it's got your age."
Roy let out a long sigh. "I don't want to-"
"If you even think about breaking up with me because of my age I'm going to…fuck it, I'm going to…buy a…oh, oh, oh, I'm going to buy the fucking house next door and have loud sex with men who look like you where you can see us."
Roy wheezed out a laugh. "I'm not going to break up with you; I'm too fucking selfish to let you go now."
"Then why are you all weird."
"Because your mother is a year younger than me and I'm a dirty old man with my young piece of hot footballer arse and you were two when I started playing football. I'd fucking judge half the people in relationships like this."
Jamie scoffed and snuggled into Roy, throwing the older man's arm over his own shoulders. "But we're different."
"They're always different."
"I'm not only after your money," Jamie told him. "And I know you're after my hot arse."
"Not just your hot arse," Roy told him. "You know, you're not making this better."
"You've promised you're not braking up with me over this, so why the fuck would I make this better."
"So I don't kick you out of the house after the cake you fucking made me burns down my house."
Jamie laughed. "Who cares about age; really?"
Roy swore roughly and turned around to pull Jamie into a kiss. "I worry about the fucking speeches at the fucking wedding."
"Oh, oh," Jamie bounced up. "I'm going to get Ruth to start finding photos of you each year and I can come in when you turn seventeen."
"No, you fucking can't."
"I can."
"No."
"You love me," Jamie said.
"I'll fucking divorce you."
"We don't have a prenup, so I'll take you to the cleaners."
"I'll write a fucking tell all about our sex life."
"That's going to sell so fucking well."
"You are a fucking menace."
"I'm your fucking menace and you're fucking stuck with me and our age gap."
"Fucking hell," Roy said, standing up and heading back inside.
"Uncle Roy," Phoebe said when she saw him. "Are you finished being weird? I'm ready to have cake."
"Yes, I'm finished being fucking weird," Roy told her. "Can you help Jamie get the plates for the cake?"
Phoebe was up and moving immediately.
"Got over it?" Ruth asked him.
Roy rolled his eyes. "I just hadn't wanted to think about those fucking numbers."
Ruth and Georgie just laughed at him.
-)(-)(-
"I don't even remember," Ruth answered honestly, and she paused, turning to look at Phoebe.
"I've eaten," Phoebe told her. "You were sleeping."
"Thank you," Ruth said, turning to look at Georgie.
"We're here to help," Georgie reminded her.
Ruth nodded, she looked around the room. "I should tidy up."
"I'll do it," Simon said, standing up.
"No, no," Ruth stood. "I need to do something with my hands."
"Do you want some space?" Georgie asked.
Ruth shook her head.
"I have an idea," Jamie said. "I can see if I can get us a bigger suite if you want, Ruth, so we can all be together and we won't be on top of one another."
"Don't you want your own space?" Ruth asked.
Jamie shrugged. "To do what? Wait for news?"
"Do it," Georgie said.
Jamie stood up. "Right, be back soon."
"Can I come?" Phoebe asked.
Jamie looked at Ruth who nodded. "Just make sure you have your phone on you."
Phoebe came over and slipped her hand into his.
Jamie stepped outside of the door and started towards the elevator. Phoebe tugged on his hand as soon as the doors had closed them into privacy.
"Do you think Uncle Roy could be alive?"
"I really want him to be," Jamie said, feeling his eyes prick and widening his eyes; hoping to stave off the tears.
"Me too but I know that someone died."
Jamie nodded. "It wasn't Roy."
"I haven't seen my dad in four years."
Jamie froze.
"He wasn't a nice man."
"Neither is my dad."
Phoebe nodded. "But Uncle Roy is a really good uncle."
"Yeah."
"Even when he gets grumpy."
"Because he's grumpy near you but often at himself but not at you."
Phoebe nodded.
"I don't want to grow up without him," Phoebe told Jamie quietly. "But I don't want to tell Mummy how scared I am."
Jamie dropped down to his knee next to Phoebe. "Phee, you can tell your Mum absolutely anything because she's scared too, and you don't have to be strong for her. I promise."
"I don't want to make her cry."
"We're all gonna cry. No matter what happens, we're going to cry a lot."
Phoebe nodded and threw her arms around Jamie's neck. He pulled her close and hugged her tightly. She sobbed into his neck, tears quickly soaking his top. He picked her up when the door opened and went to find a quiet place where she could cry. He pulled out his phone and told Ruth what had happened. She rushed down, finding him and pulling Phoebe into her. Phoebe held on tightly to Jamie's shoulder; not letting him leave.
"Baby, Phee, I'm so sorry," Ruth said, holding Phoebe close and rocking. She murmured to Phoebe until she started to calm, sniffling instead of sobbing.
"I don't want him to be dead," Phoebe told Ruth, bottom lip wobbling.
"Neither do I," Ruth told her. "Until we know for sure, we can be hopeful, right Phee?"
Phoebe nodded.
"I'm here for you; you can tell me anything."
"I know," Phoebe said, chin wobbling and sobbing. "I'm so sorry, Mummy."
"You didn't do anything wrong," Ruth said, rubbing Phoebe's back.
"Can we go back to the room?" Phoebe asked.
Ruth nodded, moving her arms until she had a good grip of Phoebe before she stood up. Jamie followed her back to the room, opening the door and making sure they were settled on the chair. Georgie looked over at him and he just shook his head and slipped back out of the door.
It was relatively easy to sort their move out; they were happy to take his money, and he was happy to throw it around. The room they were getting was their biggest with enough space for them all with a kitchen, separate bathrooms, bedroom, and a living area. Jamie went upstairs with the new keys, taking the stairs so that he had time to sit down on the landing and breath. He kept thinking if only Roy were here, he could tell Jamie what to do. Jamie covered his face with his hands and tried to be in the moment but all he could feel was the beating of his heart and the rattle of his breath and the need to move and to run but there was no where to run because Jamie couldn't leave Roy.
Jamie finally went upstairs, helped Ruth and Phoebe pack up, helped them all move up to the other room…except Roy's room. He refused to let them do anything to Roy's room because he needed to believe that Roy was coming back to that room. As the sun went down that night, Jamie went into his room and opened his suitcase; frowning down at the clothes there. He went to his mother's room, holding Roy's t-shirt and trying hard not to cry.
"Jamie?"
He held up the shirt. "Did you go to Roy's room?"
"No," Georgie, helped Jamie back to his room and opened a second suitcase. "That's what you packed in England. I packed you a suitcase of your clothes."
Jamie let out a long breath. He placed Roy's top on the bed. "Thank you."
Georgie kissed his cheek.
"Goodnight, Mummy."
"Try to sleep, Jamie."
Jamie nodded. He went into the shower, standing under the beating hot water until his skin was red. When he came outside his found his own pants but then pulled Roy's top on. He slid into the cool sheets and stared up at the dark ceiling. He kept thinking he should check his phone knowing that people from the team would be reaching out to him; they probably had so many questions. Jamie knew he'd only end up looking at his photo album and all of the photos of Roy, of him and Roy, and then he'd cry. What if that last kiss was their last kiss? What if all he had left were those photos and the memories of the best eighteen months of this life?
Four Days Ago
"Are you sure you have enough warm clothing?" Jamie asked, from where he was watching Roy with his head hanging off the side of the bed.
"Yes."
"And enough underwear?"
"Yes."
"Will I fit in your luggage?"
"No."
"Are you sure? I'm very flexible."
Roy paused and turned to him. "I'm going to miss you too."
Jamie rolled over and walked towards Roy, sliding his arms around the older man's waist. "I'm going to miss you."
Roy pressed a kiss to Jamie's lips. When he pulled back his lips tight. "I need to go."
"Are you sure I won't fit?"
Roy rolled his eyes. He bent and picked up his bag. Jamie followed him down the stairs.
"Have a safe flight," Jamie told him, stopping Roy at the bottom of the stairs to kiss him.
"I'll call when I land."
Jamie nodded and looked around. "Should I leave?"
"Why?" Roy asked. "When was the last time you were at your place?"
"Good, I was hoping I wouldn't have to break in."
Roy laughed. Jamie beamed at the sound.
"Have an amazing time," Jamie said, cupping Roy's face and pressing a kiss to him. "I love you, and you better leave before I do climb into your suitcase."
Roy pressed one last kiss to Jamie's lips. "Love you too."
Jamie watched Roy leave and sighed. He should go out for his evening run, but he wanted to wallow for a few minutes first.
-)(-)(-
Jamie found his phone and his music app; when he found the song he wanted he put it on repeat and slid it under the pillow wondering if Taylor was right and that had been their last kiss even if Jamie hadn't known it at the time.
The next morning, Jamie woke with a start. Ruth was sitting on the bed next to him.
"Bjorn is calling," Ruth told him, staring down at her phone with wide, scared eyes.
Jamie sat up and stared down at the phone screen. "Are you going to answer?
Ruth looked at him, tears sliding down her face. "I'm scared."
Jamie reached for her free hand with one of his and slide his other hand across her phone to answer it.
"Hello?" Ruth asked with a weak voice.