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Fine Lines

Summary:

There are fine lines separating love lust and loyalty. What happened six years ago blured those lines for one Peter Bryant. Adding a supernatural nightmare to his everyday drudgery just makes the lines harder to see.

Notes:

This is a gift to ddarkbloom for the 'Raythe Reign Gift Art & Fiction Exchange' at: welcome.raythereign.com/
The prompt: An older Peter Bryant conflicted about wanting to seduce Alex

Nods to related canon in other stories. Obviously if you want no spoilers for any story related to 'Sanctuary' don't read. A tiny nod to 'The Abyss: Blood Kin' as it's the first RR story I read; no spoilers. Be mindful of the tags. If you've read 'Sanctuary' to the end, you shouldn't have any problems with this. Also, I don't want to tell anyone how they should read a story or what they should get out of it, but there are notes at the bottom for clarity if need be.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It's the day after his high school graduation and Peter Bryant stands before an old cherry wood mirror above an even older cedar wood dresser, both carved with images of hearth and home. They were given in tribute from Octavia’s clan to Demetrius'. This was the way of things since Demetrius had become High Vampiric Lord six years ago. Gifts and favors and more than a few adventures sprinkled in because 'that's the way the world worked', or so Peter found out quickly. Many beings, both the vampire kind and the everything-else kind, wanted one or all of them hurt or dead; preferably the former before the latter. But their attempts almost always ended in their immediate death or a harsh-but-fair punishment. No one hurt those under the protection of the High Vampiric Lord or his family without dire consequences. Not unless the person was enchanted or a third party threatened a loved one of the assailant. The latter never quite rang true in Peter's ears. He kept flashing back to the night of Alex’s turning. It was a line dividing the world they knew from the world that actually existed. Before that night, they had just been brothers. That night Peter listened to the Judge defend his vile son. The man sat there pleading the case for someone he knew raped dozens of children. He had used his power to cover these crimes. If someone did intentional harm to another, even if they were threatened, bad things should happen to them. Demetrius was too soft.

Scrunching up his fists and closing his eyes, Peter focuses on calming his breathing. Those memories do nothing but harm him; he doesn't need a psychiatrist or Alex or even the Nomad to tell him that.

The Nomad had become... not a friend. Peter didn't have anyone he could, or would, call a true friend. This was something he'd stubbornly chosen for himself a few weeks after Alex had been turned and he had to go back to school, despite his promise to the contrary. It had taken a full year and some odd months before he found out the reason why he'd chosen to do this when before he'd been mostly fine with people. Over that year he'd acquired an affinity for the occult, and not just as a hobby. A hobby alone wouldn't be cause for alarm. After all, the Nomad had been Professor of occult studies for years before he "retired" for reasons no one told Peter. Not that people told him much of anything... No, it was far more than that. He had a tenancy to browse libraries with unusual knowledge, visit old neighborhoods seemingly on a whim, talked to people who knew things he shouldn't know at his age, and went to ancient cemeteries looking for... something. He didn't know what, only that if he did find whatever it was he wouldn't have to share Alex with anyone.

It was only when he learned of his biological family, the Argyris, that everything clicked into place. It had been on one of his covert outings when they kidnapped him, or as the family put it Brought him home. Peter had been miserable instead of happy though. Nothing they said or brought soothed his aching heart. When he revealed it was because Alex wasn't there with him, an understanding shone in their eyes as only can be found in those who live heart and soul for their family. It took a whole week more of gentle interrogation to get him to confess he wanted Alex a bit more than just as a brother. He lied and told them he didn't understand why he felt the way he did. The truth being he did understand somewhat—like at night, confused yet aware of his need to do more than just cuddle in bed. But he didn't want these people to suddenly harm him for being weird or unnatural. Semele, Peter's paternal grandmother and Chief Matriarch of the Clan was quick to tell him that it was okay to want his brother that way. In the same breath she said if he wanted he could have his Alex as his husband with their blessing.. but only if he tried to love them first. Oh he'd be loved in any case, but it would secure his place on top of their hierarchy if he gave loving them a genuine try. For a moment Peter envisioned that future: a wedding ceremony beautiful enough to make the stars weep, a wedding night where Alex wanted only him, arm-in-arm they would bring about a golden age for Clan Argyris, and when they eventually died they'd be buried deep under the earth together. There was one big problem though. Despite promising much and giving much (Peter didn't doubt they meant every word) there were too many people in that grand house of pine and oak who looked at him with desires not connected to familial love and devotion. Peter decided Semele spoke empty words that would soon to be amended once it was found out Alex was a vampire and consort to Demetrius.

Several threats of war were issued during his stay. One from a particularly angry Alex had Peter laughing excitedly. In the end war was averted thanks in no small part because the Nomad had convinced Erebos, the family Patriarch, that the best place for Peter was with Alex. Peter would spend every other week with the Argyris until he turned eighteen. Alex could of course visit whenever he wished. If the Nomad actually agreed with this was open for much debate in the Family as all knew how protective he was of his fledgling. Regardless of Alex, this satisfied Erebos' need for his youngest grandson; and that's all that mattered to everyone but Semele, who protested violently. She wanted both boys with her at all times. Her compliance came with malicious consequences. After all, the Argyris keep their word when it comes to family.

Two weeks later, the Nomad told the fourteen year old why he came to this particular agreement. The first and obvious reason: he didn't want a war that could be averted, especially if the war put his and Demetrious' fledglings in danger. And the second: he cared for Peter because, although they weren't friends, he had become his confidant since that one night that changed the boy's life. The Nomad was someone Peter could vent and lament and be more himself, his true self, than anyone else he'd met. The Nomad liked that he could fill this fatherly role for Peter. That in and of itself was worth much more than two weeks every month apart. The Nomad was someone Peter would come to rely on in the years following as boyhood confusion transitioned to teenage need.

~*~

"Peter!" Babette's voice is almost louder than the pounding of his heart as she yells up the stairs to his dorm room, "we will be leavening for the airport in one hour. Make sure you say goodbye to your friends and Javert before we go."

"I will, Babette," he says, voice high with a practiced jovial tone.

He groans silently so he doesn't alert his adopted sister of how much he hates all this pretense. And it is pretense, a game he tries hard to be good at, to win, for everyone including himself. The promise he made to the Nomad six years and-some-odd-months ago is like a flame in his mind on the verge of consuming him. Yes he knows why he had to make it. Alex was dangerous and needed time to learn how to not be. Other people were.. should be.. are important. Peter needed to grow up and be a man if he wanted Alex to be interested in him. This would still be true even if they were strangers or friends instead of brothers. So he promised. And he waited. And tried to be good and not bad. For Alex. 'For' Alex. For, Alex...

He wanted to cry.

Walking to his bed, Peter grabbed the duffle bag sitting on the now barren mattress. As his fingers brush the rough cotton strap a young man with shaggy black curls and humor shining in large green eyes hugs him from behind. The light earthy floral scent of jasmine tea whispers at his nose even as a sweet voice softly purrs at his ear. "My angelic Peter, you weren't going to go home, on our last day as roommates no less, without saying goodbye properly...? Were you?" Javert's heavy Italian accent peaks when he doesn't get an answer.

Peter looks down at the tanned hands of his boyfriend with a sad joy. He does like Javert. After all Javert was nice to most everyone, laughed without holding back, and was willing to listen with genuine interest; even if it got him in trouble for being late more than a few times. Effectively contrary to everything his father, a high ranking military official in a long line of high ranking military officials, no doubt wanted for his son when he named him after the strictest lawman in all of literature. Despite all this love and sweetness directed mostly at him, Peter could not bring himself reciprocate the emotions behind his actions.

Oh, they did all the usual stuff teenagers do. Making out between classes was fun. Losing his virginity less so, as were the first few times they had sex after. But there were many times when Javert's pillow talk made him smile and laugh despite any pain or awkward moments. Although wishing it had been Alex all along, he consoled himself with the notion that this was practice for that fateful night when he'd take his rightful place in his brother's bed and at his brother's side...

'At his brother's side?!' That sort of thinking is why he was sent to a boarding school in the first place!

Peter turns around and kisses Javert instead of giving a verbal answer, all the while feeling hints of shame and disgust directed toward himself for not wanting to be here. Instead he wishes he was on the plane already to see Alex.

Since the incident with the Argyris family, it was decided that Peter go to school 'for your own protection' as everyone put it, including Alex. The Nomad, half joking/half deadly serious, said it was because his brother was still too wild to have sexy times with an adorable little kitten like him. But the Nomad got to sleep right next to, and perhaps even with said brother each night. So Peter took it to mean 'don't get too close unless you want to deal with me' instead. As if he had a claim on his brother's body...

Pulling back, Peter smiles his sweetest smile, "I have to get a move on if I want to say goodbye to everyone else."

"Hmmm, do you have to say goodbye to anyone but me? After all, none will mourn your parting nearly as much as I." Javert isn't pouting per se, but he does look like he wants to kiss Peter into staying.

Laughing, Peter pulls away entirely. "Yes you doofus, I do. Babette will be disappointed if I don't. She's already reminded me once. If she finds out I didn't shake everyone's hand and wish them well it’ll be a guaranteed lecture all the way home."

"Ugh. You'd think that vampires would be more patient, being immortal and all. But no; they are almost as bad as my family when it comes to time," Javert says this with a flourishing of hands.

"You're descended from European were-otters on your father's side and Andalusian were-horses on your mother's. Both, I remind you, are from Elite Pedigree, as your parents put it last year. No one is as impatient as they are. As far as vampires, they only have so many hours to be awake, so cut them a little slack."

Before Javert can respond, Babette sticks her head into the open door, "Are you done saying goodbye?"

Both boys erupt into a fit of laughter. Babette merely raises an eyebrow.

After Babette walked out again, with a promise not to dawdle secured, Peter turns back to who he now considers his ex-boyfriend. They've graduated. The time for acting was at its end. "I suppose I'll see you during Christmas." He worries his lower lip between his teeth. "Your family is of course invited to the feast we hold each year at the penthouse," he's quick to add.

"Yes. I know. I do wish you would ask me instead of placing me with my family though." Javert's voice is wistful as he makes a final plea.

For a moment, Peter wishes he would too. He almost doe's out of guilt. But one look at Javert tells him he knows that this relationship is over. Not because Javert wants to breakup, but because Peter is in love with someone else.

"I.. I wish. I wish..." Peter struggles to find words to express his feelings of love and lust for someone other than the wonderful young man in front of him.

"Yes, yes, I know, I know. But if wishes were horses, you would ride me again, and the time for both is over." With a sigh and a smile, Javert kisses Peter's lips one last time. "I do hope they are worthy of you My Angel, otherwise I will storm the castle and take you back." The look in those dark green eyes, for once, hold no humor.

~*~

Roughly an hour later, Peter sat on a couch in his own compartment of the plane set for home. It would take them a few hours more to get from here to there and he asked Babette and his bodyguards, a harpy named Nyx and her dryad wife Leto, to give him some time alone before the party he knew was awaiting him left him no time at all. Nyx didn't like this idea. She wanted twenty four hour surveillance and a tracking anklet on him as his escape attempts and kidnappings were legendary. But a few words from Leto about being him being an adult and them being on an airplane, had her standing outside the door instead of inside the room.

Peter gave the dryad a smile and rare hug. She hugged him back with that dreamy look dryads have in their human persona and told him to get some rest.

But he couldn't rest, not knowing that in only a few hours he'd be reunited with the only person that truly mattered.

As the plane lifts off the tarmac, and Peter lounges against fluffy cushions, his mind drifts. He wouldn't have to see any of his so called "friends" until at least October. If he called them once or twice before then to keep up appearances, all the better than having to go visit. Most were from old and/or rich families. If staying with the Argyris had taught him anything it was the value of connections.

Javert and his family would likely be at the Charismas feast this year. If he did nothing about Alex then they would no doubt go on like the summer was just an after school break. A beautiful couple worthy in the eyes of anyone in their social circle. The runner-up for the inevitable failure of this brilliant stupid plan.

This wasn't the first time he thought about how, or even if he should, seduce his brother. Nasty word seduce. The word feels as tart as cranberries in his mind. It brings up images from some old romance novels he stumbled upon when doing research on the sexual practices of supernatural's. Oddly enough it was on the Nomad's advice. Peter came to the conclusion that this was to scare him away from Alex rather than give him ideas. In each story a woman or a man, wanting to control another person for any number of reasons, would get them to fall in love with them or their child or their slave through sex. The relationship would end in heartache or death or a hero type sweeping in to make the seducer get their just rewards.

A hero like Demetrious.

Even in dreams that started off nice--his parents alive and not monsters, the Argyris nothing more the name of a horror movie, Alex his fiancé without anyone questioning that they were also brothers--that holier-than-thou Russian swept Alex away from him. In one dream Demetrius is at the altar saying Alex and he were together all along. Alex would then pat him on the head and tell him playtime was over. Sometimes Peter wishes he had taken Semele up on her offer to train in the dark arts. But then he'd truly be estranged to everyone he cares about, so each time she asked he declined.

The question wasn't who was best for Alex anyway, begrudgingly Peter admitted that it was Demetrious, but who Alex wanted sexually, and the answer was still Demetrious. This left him in the position of seducer. The bad guy. The creeper. The one to make everyone else, including Alex, miserable if he should succeed. It was this reason he had never gone further than making small gestures--an accidental kiss on the mouth instead of on the cheek, a hug that went on too long, asking Alex to stay in his bed until he fell asleep... But Alex, with super senses and all, seemed to never take these gestures for more than overactive teenage hormones or brotherly love. That was until two Christmas ago.

He kissed Alex under the mistletoe while pretending to be drunk. It was supposed to be seen as a sloppy teenage stunt. Alex would laugh it off and Peter would get in one good kiss, not tiny pecks that meant nothing in the long run. Instead, Alex just stood there not kissing back and not reacting at all. Peter pulled away. Embarrassed, he stumbled out of the foyer with all the grace of a true drunk. How long he wandered the crowded halls of the mansion he did not know. When he spotted Alex entering a seemingly empty room he walked up to the door hoping his brother would forgive him. Hearing a second voice, Peter listened instead while trying to remain quiet. "....worried about him. He's always getting into trouble, and I know it has a lot to do with the Argyris in him. I know! But sometimes he does.. stuff." There's a long silence. The sound of rustling fabric is the only indication they're still in the room. "What kind of 'stuff' Alex," Babette's voice brings Alex out of his silence and Peter holding his breath. A rush of words Peter has to focus to make sense of. "He kissed me Babette! Not just a small peck either, but deep like when I haven't seen Demetrious for a few days! He had a few drinks but wasn't drunk. He's my little brother, and I care about him so much." The gush of words stop abruptly. Peter thinks it's him, and he's about to walk away, but then Babette speaks, "He's a young man. I'm sure he's only curious." Alex makes a huffing sound, "No. That's not it. I thought it was at first, but after tonight... Could it be that he's having a relapse? I know he didn't actually get raped," the last word is whispered, "But could going through puberty and all the excitement with our Family bring about repressed sexual desires. For me." Peter couldn't think. His body was numb. He wanted to move, but his feet kept him nailed to the spot. "I wouldn't know Alex, not personally. I was turned before I was very far into puberty. It is likely. But...." Peter couldn't stay a moment longer. His formerly treacherous feet took him to his bedroom. He spent the next three hours alternating between screaming into pillows, punching walls, pouring over every word they said, and laughing because everything was ridiculous. He'd never been so simultaneously embarrassed and hurt in all his life. He slept like the dead that night and could hardly talk to Alex alone from then on.

A year and six months later and their conversation was still swirling around in his head.

Reaching for a wine cooler in the compartments' mini fridge, Peter let his mind turn toward the plan. The plan didn't involve placing Alex into an impossible situation. Blackmail, pleading, and straight forward seduction were out. The first would harm Alex, not something Peter would ever do on purpose. The second would not only be embarrassing but prove he was still a child and not the image of a bold young man he wanted to project. And the last, while tempting, would at best put cracks in their relationship that could never truly be mended; or at least he couldn't see how. Especially not after the Christmas fiasco. No, the plan was simple yet oh so hard. He would take Alex somewhere alone, tell him how he felt in a calm adult manner, then trust his big brother to make everything okay. Even if okay meant how to stop wanting him.

~*~

They touch down on a brightly lit private air strip. Peter called Alex twenty minutes ago to ask if he could have an hour or so alone before the inevitable "surprise" party. Though he knew Isolde would be miffed that her grand extravaganza was anticipated, Alex assured him that his little brother came first and Demetrius would take care of his fledgling's hurt feelings. For the first time in a long time Peter was truly grateful to his romantic rival. Hopefully Hans didn’t get too much of an earful.

Two black nondescript cars pull up along with a cerulean blue Jeep. Before Peter can blink, Alex has him in a tight hug. “I missed you soooo much! You didn’t come home for spring break again. I figured you were with your boyfriend, who is welcome here any time by the way—“

Peter laughs as he returns the hug, “Alex!” Alex stops mid ramble. “I missed you too, but you’re doing that vampire speed talk thing. I didn’t quite catch all that. Something about spring and who and time.”

Alex pulls Peter toward the Jeep with one arm around his shoulders. The other wave’s goodbye to Babette even as he brushes off the security detail. As Peter gets into the passenger seat, he sees Nyx cast a glare his way while Leto blows a kiss.

“So, where are we going?” Peter asks innocently as he pulls his jacket tight. Driving fast was fun. Driving fast in a convertible at night was chilly. Driving vampire fast in a convertible at night changed summer to winter.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stick to the speed limit Pete. I’ll keep you safe.” The look in Alex’s eyes is comforting, but his words have Peter looking away.

The Jeep pulls away at the promised reasonable speed. “I’m not a twelve year old child anymore, Alexander. I don’t need to be ‘kept safe’.” He didn’t mean to start their conversation this way, but his memories combined with what he wants to talk about. Being reminded of his weaknesses has him choking. I may be weak, but Alex is worth being weak over. Shameful, pathetic, bad bad bad---

Alex grabbing his arm pulls Peter out of his rapidly deteriorating thoughts. “Obviously we both have lots to talk about. But let’s not say anything until we reach the restaurant I have reserved, okay?” Peter nods. “But before anything else, if for whatever reason I don’t get to say it again, you’re my brother and I love you. Nothing I say tonight is more important than that.” Like Javert, Alex’s voice brokers no room for argument.

Looking at Alex gets him a brilliant smile. Cuddling into his brother’s side, he lets the soft wind whip away all thoughts.

~*~

They eventually pull into a parking lot in the middle of the forest. Far in the distance there looks to be a large farm house overlooking a lake. If it wasn't for all the lights it would have been impossible to to tell this far back at night. Getting out they approach a large wood sign. In red letters made to look like flowing liquid it reads, “Le Sang Rouge Rose?” Despite his melancholy mood, Peter can’t help finding humor in the restaurant’s name.

Alex laughs and coughs into his closed fist. “I've met the owner, and yah, he has a macabre sense of humor. But it’s to the point! ‘The Blood Red Rose’ caters to vampires, and other non-human races that have... mhm... human dates.” His voice cracks on the last words and a light blush flushes his cheeks.

Peter’s eyes widen before smiling just a bit. “And I’m your ‘human date’ for the night? I didn’t know you felt that way?” His voice oozes sarcasm, but he hopes this is at least a bit true.

Alex starts up the long trail leading to the front gate. Peter gets the impression the owner doesn’t care how those who eat at his restaurant feel, only that the atmosphere is perfect.

“We’re here because privacy is everything to these people. They call themselves eternal mages or something like it. I got different answers depending on who I talked to. All you need to know is there are spells in place to mask our words and prevent people from reading our lips. Anything you say will be between us and the lake.”

By the time Alex is finished talking they arrived at the gate. From there it’s only a dozen feet and up a wide fully furnished porch. A cool breeze carries the scent of wood smoke downwind from a small building far off to the right. Crickets chirp and there's obviously activity inside, but nothing is discernible. The place reminds Peter of a home he once lived in shortly after his father died. His mother was trying out the country life while running from the city and husband she dearly loved. He wonders if that’s another reason Alex brought them here and not a café or VIP lounge.

He’s taken out of the moment when the maître d takes them down a short hallway and up two flights of stairs to a balcony overlooking the lake. A wrought iron table with padded wicker chairs is the focal point. There's a porch swing off to the right.

“Everything you ordered will be here shortly. If you need anything, ring the bell,” he motions to said bell, “Otherwise I leave you to your evening.” A short bow after Alex nods and he’s gone.

“You ordered for me?” Peter shakes his head as Alex pulls out his chair.

“I didn’t want diner to stop us.” Alex places a napkin over his lap.

“I called you saying we needed to talk. How long have you been planning this?”

“If I tell you, don’t be angry, please!” Honest to goodness puppy dog eyes.

“I’ll try, but you know I don’t like secrets Alex.” Peter works on not gritting his teeth.

“Ha! So Alex and not Alexander now?” Something is way off.

“Demetrious calls you that.” Peter doesn't hide the jealous glare or growl.

“Eh, he likes the sound of it. I don’t exactly mind per se. I even like how his accent makes my name sound kind of exotic, like cognac used to when I was human. But I’ve always been Alex to you. And between the two of us, I prefer it.” The smile is almost forced. Peter's skin prickles.

“My Alex.” He’s spoken the words so often to himself. They’re soft and loved like an old stuffed animal one can’t bring themselves to throw away.

Alex grasps his hand. “Whatever comes, we’re family.”

“I wish we weren’t,” Peter pulls back his hand.

“What—“

“You still haven’t told me how long you’ve been planning this.”

“Since a few days after I was turned.” Peter’s eyes widen. “Not this meeting! Not exactly. That’s what we need to talk about. But not before our food gets here, please. You can get mad after, just let me say my peace.”

“Permission. Great,” Peter huffs out.

“Pete—“

“I don’t have a problem with letting you explain, really.” He knows he’s grimacing when he attempts a reassuring smile. “But I also get to talk without you stopping me or getting upset.” Alex just nods.

Peter notes that their drinks come on a resin tray. No chance to harm customers that way the maître d explains before turning on his heel. Once more they are left alone in silence.

“Alex—“

“Pete—“

They break off with Alex laughing and Peter towing the grout. Alex makes a motion for Peter to talk as he sips at a glass of blood. The tension isn't gone, but it's tamped down.

“This is not how I imagined this night would go. It’s so awkward. I'm sorry.” He grips his hair in an attempt at thinking of something to say. "Why are we here exactly?"

“I told you: the owner's value privacy more than most things. No one will expect us to be at a place like this.” Alex smiles again, but the effect is ruined from the blood staining his teeth. Yuck!

'Stop beating around the bush and tell him already!' his internal voice yells in frustration. “AlexIminlovewithyou,” he rushes out.

Alex blinks once then twice before nodding. “I know.”

The silence is only punctuated by the chirping crickets and lapping water.

“You... know?” a beat then “You know and you haven’t said a word for nearly seven years! I’ve been sweating and under the thumb of Semele telling me that I have to choose someone inside The Family because of Dad’s accursed choice to be outside of it for nearly five years straight while you knew! Do you have any idea how bad it is being looked after by her, by them?! I’ve nearly been molested over a dozen times because Semele said I needed to forget you! They eat the meat of humans and other sentient races! If I hadn’t met Javert, I’d be comatose and married already to one of those monsters…!” His tirade is lost in tears by the end. Everything that had happened from the moment their father died had taken away all sense of safety. Alex had been his only source of comfort for years. Then his mother married that monster, and Alex was made into a vampire, and secrets built on secrets between them. The Argyris took away any remaining of safety by existing. The house they lived in was so open yet full of dark corners for more than monsters to hide in. He was always on guard with the Argyris, and always blinded by jealousy when home. It was simply too much for one person to hold onto alone. Javert was an escape, but the moment he wasn’t there everything threatened to drown him again. Only his day dreams of Alex kept him sane, or even alive some days. His life was agony and he didn't see a way out.

Barely feeling strong arms encircle him and take him to the swing where he’s gently rocked. “It’s okay Pete. I’m here. Nothing bad will ever touch you again,” Alex soothes even as he lays kisses along his brothers brow.

~*~

Peter’s head is resting on Alex’s thigh by the time he calms down; a few tears still staining Alex’s jeans. Alex runs a comforting hand through Peter’s short locks and over his back.

“I just want you. Even before, when we were just humans, you coming home from school was the highlight of my day.” Peter scrunches his nose, “Perhaps we were never meant to be okay.”

Alex was silent for a long moment before, “I thought you had Nomad to talk to.”

Peter shakes his head as best as he can on Alex’s knee. “I did and do sometimes,” he grumbles the last word. “But you know him. He’s here and gone, and most times he’s talking to you or Demetrious. Then I have school. And vacations I have to take with people at school. All that time at The Family mansion he can’t be there. E-mail isn’t the same when you have important things to say. It’s always being monitored at their home.” He turns on his back “Before you ask, Babette can’t interfere when it’s not life or death, and she refers me to someone else when topics turn to certain subjects. Hans is fun, but he’s like a toy you leave on a shelf when cars catch your attention. Isolde’s cool. She’s also not my biggest fan because I don’t like Demetrius.”

“Because of me,” Alex finishes.

It’s spoken like a statement, because it is, but Peter sits up with a huff and turns to look Alex in the eye to answer.

“Yes. Because you are the most important person in either of our lives. But that’s not the only reason I don't like him! He’s arrogant. Massively so. He talks about how the Nomad is stuck up, how he has no dignity. Well D has no sense of humor and he broods when not doing official vampire business.” Peter pauses to see if Alex wants to comment on his assessment of the other vampire. When Alex just nods, Peter buries his face in his hands and mumbles, “He’s also saved my life a few times, gave us a home even before mom was killed, is like Renaissance painting hot, isn’t actually a bad guy, and most importantly and worst of all: you love him and he loves you and I wish I could be okay with that.” This is all said in one long breath. He leans back and closes his eyes.

“And why don’t you think you can?”

Peter can feel Alex’s eyes on him even without looking. Patient, kind, full of love. Truth, that’s all Alex wants in return.

“I don’t know,” he whispers, “I don’t know why I can’t be happy for you. Or tell you what exactly happens in the Argyris house,” he adds as an afterthought, thinking of everything else that’s taken place since… “You became a vampire, that’s what’s changed. Why did it change me though? Shouldn't I have always had a bit of the Argyris obsession with you? You're my brother and I've always loved you, so why not before?”

Alex pulls Peter up and toward the table. “First, let’s eat. Trust me, you don’t want to hear this having only drank a fuzzy navel and a Heineken,” he says with a grimace.

“How did you…? Vampire senses, right.”

While Alex drinks his “blood soup”, Peter eats a salmon burger with capers and veggie mayo. A side of baked eggplant has him raising his eyebrow at Alex until he takes a bite and scarf's the rest down.

“Complements to the chef! He must be some froufrou dude with a huge ego, right? That’s what Neil, the chef at school was like. Had a pink bow on his hat and everything.” Peter snorts as another plate of eggplant appears out of thin air.

“Ah, no. First, don’t judge people based on how they present themselves to teenagers. I know for a fact that Neil has two girls and a wife of fifteen years. He only acts that way because he loves his job. The bow is from his six year old. Secondly, the chef here is six foot ten has the build of a Marine and paints in his off hours. Joseph, the maître d, is his bond mate. The three of us met a few months back when I was looking for a discreet restaurant to hold this talk. He told me that he used to be a scout roughly seven thousand years back in France. You saw how ‘froufrou’ he is with his soft voice and ‘feminine’ mannerisms, right? Well when he’s not working here, he teaches self-defense classes at the Y.”

Peter raises a hand, realizes he's still holding a slice of eggplant he drops it back onto his plate. After a beat he nods, “I understand. No bashing people. And no reading covers before giving the book a chance. You don’t have to give me a freaking PSA.”

“But Pete, don’t you get it? It’s not just me being a vampire. Ask the Nomad if you want to know why that's even an issue. The bigger issue is how your view of other people makes everyone who isn’t me out to be irredeemably flawed. Sure you compliment people, but even I can tell it's mostly for show. Perhaps a lot does have to do with genetics and hormones. I just hope once we’re done tonight that part of you will be able to see people in a better light.” Alex picks up a bag and rummages through it.

Peter swallows down the hurt his brother’s words instill "Some people deserve to be hated," he mumbles even as the most beautiful tart with a dab of crème fresh appears before him. Alex places a small glass bottle with shimmering gray liquid on the table.

“Drink it. And before you ask, you’ll understand in a moment.”

“I trust you Alex.” He proves it by downing it in one swallow.

The taste is oddly of celery and oil and strawberries. But that’s hardly registered as whatever it is slides over his body like a cold slimy wet rag. Peter shivers even as he wipes at his arms face and body. “I…” a violent tremor shakes his body.

Alex gives him a bite of tart. “I told you to eat first. This will at least take care of the taste.”

If he wasn’t in the process of being grossed out by the potion, Peter would have loved being fed crumbly tart from his brother’s hand.

“B-b-blanket p-please,” he chatters as he's getting more cold than slimy.

Alex wince’s and shakes his head. “I’m sorry Pete, but everything in magic has a price. It’s either you being cold and uncomfortable for a bit or bleeding about a pint and a half of blood…” He lets the sentence hang.

Peter’s eyes widen even as he starts to cough. No! He doesn’t have to imagine because he lived the result six years ago. The desire to open up a vein right then and there has him grabbing a knife. Not because Alex wants him to like he did back then, but because a sharp whispered scream drives him to give heart and soul to his brother. Bond mate the voice whispers, that’s what Alex called what the mages here have. A bond so strong that nothing in this world could separate them, not even the Nomad. This is the same voice he heard when driven to find the Argyris. The terrible voice can’t be denied!

“I’ll do it. I’ll give up my blood if—” the feeling of slime dripping has him pausing to shake his head “if you’ll be mine again.” The voice is and isn’t his own. “Alex! What’s…?”

Before Peter can fall onto the knife, Alex grabs him from behind. He gently lays his brother onto the hard wood swing.

“It’s going to be alright, Pete. I won’t let this demon hurt you,” he coos and lovingly rubs Peter’s chest.

Through blurry vision, Peter sees what looks like a large black bird with shining yellow eyes walk up behind Alex’s right shoulder. A familiar shrill voice comes from the bird, “The potion my Lady graciously gave us appears to be working.”

“He’s still alive, indicating a clean separation. Now all that’s left to do is reach inside and carefully pull.”

Peter jerks his head over Alex’s other shoulder. A burst of cold clears his vision. The slow snapping voice belongs to Leto, but her true form is light grey bark skin and twiggy green leaves instead of hair. A cypress tree. She told him that when they first met nearly two years ago. Why are they here?

“Why are we here? Why are we here?! Because my Lady's’ son, the one you call Nomad, brought together two old lovers, that's why! Lady Nyx and Lord Erebos stopped talking to each other around the dawn of the of this world you see. Lady Nyx had an affair with Leto because Lord Erebos wanted to destroy the new world and made Leto cry. They had twins: Lord Apollo and Lady Artemis. Forget Zeus, he only thought he was the father because.. he's Zeus." Nyx ruffles her feathers like a human would shake their head. "Anyway, their son Lord Apollo filled the darkness with bright lights, stars, as a gift to Lady Nyx. Lady Artemis stood as guardian and patron to the new world. Lord Erebos has never forgiven Lady Nyx. Or so the legend goes. Who can say what higher beings fight over? What you need to know: your brother is a merging of the Lady and Lord's favorite children, vampires and Argyris when before he only identified as Argyris. You have been chosen by Lord Erebos’ to get him back. If he drinks your blood or sets foot onto the Argyris' accent lands of his own free will, then he turns back and becomes pure Argyris once more. The potion you drank stops his influence, hence the slime. He wants to hold keep his hold on you, hence the cold.” Peter shivers and whimpers all through her tale.

Alex closes his eyes to compose himself. “Just a moment more Pete, only a moment. Right?” he looks to Leto who is waving her arms.

“Mmm… You remember what to do?”

Determination flashes in Alex’s eyes, “I won’t let Erebos have him.”

“It’s not your brother you should trouble yourself over child. The Lord already has him. He wants you.” Alex holds the harpy’s eyes until she nods “Let’s get this mess over with yes? Yes.”

Frozen fire rushes through corroded veins…

Then Alex is kissing him and nothing else matters. Long fingers message sweaty locks. Soft firm lips suck and pull. Hot moist air alleviates pain. A tongue tasting of copper and mint dips brushes, pushes plays. Warmth takes over cold. The screaming whisper is dragged away encased in slime.

Peter’s body bows, breaking the kiss as he releases an agonized moan. Suddenly more aware than ever in his life, he sees a tree outlined in black feathers swaying in the night wind. The image of a woman wrapped from head to toe in black silk replaces the tree. She speaks without sound, demands he pledge himself to her again and again and again until his soul snaps with his assent. When at long last she covers him with a hand to yank him back to the world he knew, she reminds him once more of his promises.

~*~

“Pete! …you okay …something!” Alex is yelling his name along with garbled nonsense.

Peter bats fluttering hands away as he yawns, “What are you talking about? ‘m fine. A bit dizzy. What happened?”

Alex sighs and flashes his brilliant trademark grin. “What do you remember?”

“A woman in black silk.” The words are out without thinking. He swallows down the strange words, “I.. I mean I was eating? Uh, just give me a moment. There was… You gave me a potion! I think. Then something about a forest?”

Alex looks like he wants more, but a familiar voice interrupts, “Don’t push him. He will tell us what we need to know when he remembers. Until then, back off.”

“Javert!” Peter jumps off the bed only to be caught in a familiar hug.

“Mmm, you’re not strong enough yet I think My Angel?”

Peter laughs as his hopefully 'not'-ex-boyfriend places back him on the bed, one arm wrapped gently around his shoulders. “Not yet. But how long have I been out? It feels like only an hour or ten. I feel really good.”

“You’ve been in an on again/off again coma for a month and a half. What does really good feel like Peter?” The Nomad’s voice and good humor has Peter looking around the room he’s in. His entire adopted family is there, including Javert’s parents and twin sister Éponine who observe the vampires with careful trepidation from the far side of the room.

“A month?!” Suddenly he feels like Rip van Winkle.

“And a half. Can’t forget that it was almost two can we? Now why don’t you feel worse? The transition worked?” Humor with serious curiosity. “You said ‘a woman in black silk’. If Nyx did come to you--”

“The Lady Nyx. She’s taken me under her veil. If I intentionally step foot on Argyris land, you’ll have to kill me if you don’t want to die.” The words come like the first: smooth and knowing they’re right, but not knowing how he knows. Peter cuddles Javert.

The room is silent for a moment. Alex is about to speak but Demetrius hold up a hand. “Peter, I would not ask now, but it is the only question I care to know the answer to, other than your health of course.” He meets Peter’s eyes. The question is there but he asks anyway, his tone carefully neutral, “Do you still want to have sex with my Alexander?”

A squeak is the first thing out. Peter looks at Javert with fear. Javert kisses his nose, “I know already. They filled me in on everything while you slept. I still love you. Nothing so human as wanting another could push me away. Even if that leaves me as a friend,” to which Peter gives him a long sweet kiss before getting back to the question.

Peter looks at Alex for a long moment. Looking and testing his emotions against how he’s felt for years, if not his entire life. He closes his eyes and breaths deep to center himself. Lady Nyx is there; a smooth reinforcement instead of a painful pull the way Lord Erebos had been.

His eyes open to a new world, “I still think you’re gorgeous Alex, hot even. If given the opportunity I might even have a three way,” he pushes against Javert to emphasize exactly he’d want with them, “But there is no overwhelming need to have a one-on-one. Only everyday youthful lust.” If anyone sees the strained smile or hear his choked reply, no one comments.

Demetrius nods. “I’m glad. Someday perhaps you and I could be friends?”

“Brothers,” Peter corrects. He doesn’t have friends, not yet anyway, but he does have a family, one he loves very much. That will never change. Extending a hand to his old rival, Demetrius hesitates for only a second. With that elephant out of the way, he turns back to Alex. “Now on to my Q&A session of the night. I can guess that all the secrecy was because I was essentially a spy. Nyx and Leto were avatar representations of the goddesses they held the names of; I’ve read enough on the occult to know that. I’d imagine this took a really long time to set up. I’m okay with that in hindsight. But two things I don’t get, so could someone please shed some light on them? One: How much did you know,” he looks to his boyfriend—and how good does it feel to think that with conviction?

“Nothing.” Alex replies instead. “Knowledge was on a need to know basis. Only me and the Nomad knew the full plan. Not even Demetrius or Babette knew much. Another reason to hold the meeting somewhere new. You don't have to worry.”

“I’m not worried. Just glad that he was never in more danger than being with me normally entails.” He kisses Javert’s cheek. “Now for the not so easy second question. Not that I care, it was really nice, but why did you kiss me when I got all shivery?”

Alex actually blushes until he’s scarlet and looks away, “Leto told me to distract you. She said if you didn’t know what they were doing, then Erebos couldn’t use you to fight the magic. It was the only way I could think to get your whole focus. And... and the last time you ran away. I wanted you to know I didn’t care in case the magic didn’t work. You’re my brother and I’d do anything for you.”

~*~

Far into the future Peter, dressed in black silk to honor his Lady, places three black roses at the base of an ancient mausoleum. The tomb contains generations of his family not related to the Argyris. Javert and he adopted many children over their lifetime. Éponine's husband children and grandchildren are all here. A few fledglings have their names engraved on plaques. This is one of the few places on Earth not covered by layers of city. It's sacred ground to all the old gods.

Peter turns to his remaining family. They share sad smiles. A new home awaits them on the Abyss and beyond that a new world.

Notes:

For clarity if needed: Javert is mostly because reality/a break from all the angst. Éponine is one last nod to how I view Peter's love for Alex, and vice versa if Alex is Marius. I listened to the 'Les Miserables' soundtrack constantly when writing this because I'd just seen the movie. I know Javert is a French name, but I didn't want to mix his accent with Babette's in my head, so he's Italian/Spanish. When Peter refers to the cook as "froufrou" he's not calling him gay (obviously this would be hypocritical). Rather I see Peter as a bit of a cruel/snobbish teen. As for the end, I didn't want to imply that all of Peter's feeling were because of Erebos, only the obsessive nature. How much of this shaped him to start with is up to you. I wanted this to be more about Peter's struggle and not so much the smexy times. Oh, and Peter knows next to nothing about the world around him, so this could be 'The Ghost Half' canon compliant if you want (there are hints it is if 'Sanctuary 2' goes the way I think it will.

This is not beta tested. If my poor eyes didn't find something major, please tell me and I'll edit it in.