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The summer tournament was fun, something Maki knew he wanted to experience again.
He enjoyed the moments of relief whenever they got a point, or when his teammates cheered for each other when they were on court.
Although they didn't win, they won the fact their club would stay together; that they would all stay together.
He rushed home almost immediately after they all agreed to hang out at a mall to celebrate. Unfortunately Toma said he wouldn’t be able to make it because some family stuff had appeared randomly.
While the timing was uncanny, Toma promised he’d try and make it up for everyone the next time they all hung out. Tsubasa and Shingo held him to that promise while Mitsue and Yuu planned to steal him and take him to Maki’s house later that weekend to eat his food.
Maki sighed at his friend's antics but didn't reject their plan. Afterall, he was a great cook.
And so, for the rest of the day, or at least till 17:30, they walked around a nearby mall, buying from the food court and looking at items they all couldn't afford from the shops inside.
The raven-haired boy smiled throughout the entire time, enjoying the happiness he got from his friends.
When they all said their goodbyes to each other, Maki and Mitsue sat together on the bus, both doing their own things in a comfortable silence. When they reached their stop, they continued to stay in the silence till they reached their respective apartments.
“You did good today Maki.” Mitsue mumbled before shutting the door on her friend before the boy could utter a word back. Maki chuckled and smiled before walking up the stairs to his apartment.
He was happy, so so happy.
“I’m home!” Maki smiled as he opened teh door and tossed his shoes all over teh doorway. He was about to fix it before seeing a pair of black shoes belonging to a family friend. “What's this? You here, Shou?” The boy fixed his shoes properly before dropping his bag near the door.
“Todays match was-” He ran to the end of the small hallway and opened the door, stopping in his tracks at the broken glass on the floor. He widened his eyes as he almost stepped on it. ‘Thats dangerous’ he thought before landing his eyes on Shou.
Maki walked over to the older man carefully, making sure to not step on any glass. He sat down on the man’s right side of the table.
“Shou, where's my mom?” The raven-haired boy asked, looking at his mentor with questioning eyes before his gaze saw a ripped open envelope.
No
No no
No no no no
“Shou…” The man sighed before adjusting himself to put his hand on the boy's arm. “D-did dad..?”
“Kid, listen to me. I know it's hard but you have to be honest with me.” Shou calmly started, “Has your dad visited you the last few weeks?”
Maki’s breath hitched, what was he going to do, should he tell the truth? No… did he even have an option to say any other response. The boy nodded and Shou let out a heavy sigh and cursed as he ran a hand through his hair.
“Maki, your mom is alright, she's just getting groceries for dinner.” The man assured his kid who was staring at the envelope. “Hey..” He snapped his fingers which seemed to get the child's attention.
“Shake those thoughts out of your head. No one is hurt, I promise.” He smiled at the shaking boy, rubbing his fingers in a circular motion on Maki’s arm. “I threw a glass cup at him for you.” Shou smiled and gave a thumbs up with his other hand.
“You promise no one got hurt?” Why did he doubt him, Shou wasn't like his dad, he rarely lied and if he did it was for a good reason. Shou’s smile relaxed a bit before getting up and ruffling his kids hair.
“Promise, also your mom is coming soon. Do you want to cook or you too tired?” Shou grabbed the broom and dustpan and started to clean the walkway. Maki shook his head and sighed, his thoughts were scaring him.
“Can you?” Maki could hear him chuckle before the clang of pots hitting each other were heard from the kitchen. He shuddered as he crumpled the envelope in front of him, getting up and tossing it on his way to his room.
He opened his door and closed it before taking a shaky breath, everything from the past few minutes came crashing down on him.
His thoughts were loud, ones that were filled with anger and bloodlust left, instead guilt and self-blame clouded every thought. He slid himself down the door and crumbled into a ball. Maki let out small breaths as the blame hit him like a truck.
This wasn't supposed to happen. They weren't supposed to find out… this was my burden to hold, not theirs. A small cracked sob escaped his lips and his put a shaky hand over his mouth. His mom would've gotten seriously hurt. That's not right.
‘Legally he’s my son, so all I gotta do is ask them where he is and I'll get his address.’
This is my fault, it's my fault he keeps coming back. Why am I still here, why can’t I do anything right, damnit!
Tears fell down his face as his breath hitched.
Wait.
There was a way he could…
No. That would hurt his mom.
But, maybe?
He shook his head, thats stupid, like really stupid. People cared for Maki, he had reasons to live.
So why does the thought of death not scare him? At least, why does the thought of his death not scare him. Does he want to die..? No!
Maki slapped himself lightly on the cheeks, he couldn't think like that.
He sighed and wiped his eyes of any remaining tear drops. Maki felt sticky and gross from today's events. He slowly got up, thanks to the help of his doorknob and grabbed some clothes out of his dresser.
- - - - - -
Dinner wasn't as awkward as Maki thought it would be, sure his mother at first kept asking why Maki would keep seeing his dad a secret but she let it go once she saw how shaken her son looked.
After that, she instead asked questions regarding his summer tournament, and that seemed to brighten him up.
But the lingering thoughts kept biting and chewing his insides. His heart felt heavier than his eyelids when he was shuffling himself into bed. His body felt all tingly and every time he would try and shake it off, it would come back.
He was scared.
His thoughts kept telling him that it was his fault his mom keeps getting dragged into messes that included his father. The scariest part wasn't the ideas his brain kept telling him to do, but more of that he actually wanted to go through with it.
The thoughts kept convincing him that the more he was alive, the more his father would hurt his mother. He couldnt bare thinking of that.
Maki got up from his bed with a quick start, putting on his slippers beside his bed and grabbing his phone from his night stand, it was 21:28, his mom should be asleep. His chest started to hurt… he was going through with this. He was really going through with this.
He felt tears roll down his face, fuck he couldn;t leave without a good bye right?
He stumbled over to his desk, making sure to not make any noise to wake his mother up.
Maki sat down on his chair, grabbing a pencil and paper, starting to write a note to his mother, apologizing for what he’s going to do. For bringing her pain and suffering. Asking her to leave here so his father wouldn't hurt her anymore.
He took a bigger breath, tears falling down his cheeks as he realized what he’s doing.
Biting his lip he grabbed the nearest jacket, which so happened to be his club sweater. He smiled a bit as he put it on for the last time.
He opened his door silently, wincing whenever it squeaked.
He left the note on the kitchen table, making sure his mother would see it when she woke up the next morning. He walked to the door and looked back.
He stared at his mom’s room, hoping silently that she would wake up and stop him from whatever he was going to do because he was so fucking scared. He was regretting everything, but at the same time, he told himself that this was what was needed for the world.
He unlocked the door and locked it again when he stepped outside and closed the door.
There was no way of getting back in, his spare key was inside and the door was officially locked. He walked towards the elevator, not wanting to take the stairs in case he would run into Mitsue during her all nighters.
The elevator was quick, as if it was inviting him to do what he planned. He prayed that someone would be in the elevator and wondered why a 13 year-old kid was in his pajamas and walking out in the middle of the night.
But it was empty when it opened.
The ride down was as uneventful as its always been, but it was also slow to which Maki was internally thankful for.
When he reached the bottom floor, he started to slowly walk away from his building… his home.
He looked up at the stars as he walked away, his grip on his phone tightening as the tears fell down his face again. Maki shifted and took out his phone, going to his messages and checking the group chat Yuu had made a few weeks ago.
Itsuki: ykw, im not dealing w you dummies any longer im going to sleep
Shingo: WOW shortie dont wana laugh at these gloryus memes
Rintaro: how the fuck do you not spell glorius correctly
Shingo: qUIET
Nao: Hahah L
Yuu: guys please, its almost 11PM go to sleep
Mitsue: wht r u my parent??
Yuu: at this point i may as well be
Tsubasa: HE ADMIT IT
Tsubasa: YOU OEW ME 1000 YEN TOMA
Toma: SHIT
Tsubasa changed the group name to ‘Yuu = Parent, I win’
Yuu: Toma!! Tsubasa!!!
Taiyo: go tO SLEEP!! I KNOW WHERE YOU ALL LIVE
Nao: shit- sunshine is mad- GN YALL
Maki chuckled at their texts, he never really talks on here, usually to busy with the chores or his homework to do so. His smile faded into a sob as he let more tears out. Fuck… he was leaving them too.
He didn't really want to leave them yet, he was enjoying his time- No. This is for your mother, you have to do this.
He pressed record.
“Ah.. is this on?” Maki checked his phone, clicking a few stuff before deciding it probably was. “Okay.. uhm, uh.” He stopped for a sec, he hadn't had anything prepared to say, shoot what was he supposed to say? “So, I'm recording, I hope.. I don't think I can make another one if I'm dead..” Maki whispered the last bit, realizing his mic probably picked that up.
Oh well.. It was true anyways.
He sighed, beforing shivering as a cold breeze flew towards him. “You guys heard that anyways, there's no point in sugarcoating it.” He said, wiping his tears as he continued his trek. Where exactly?
The bridge near his school.
“By the time you hear this, I'm probably dead.” He mumbled, burying himself into his club jacket. He let out a choked sob, more hot tears spilled down his ocean eyes as the coldness of his cheek became a sickingy warm feeling.
“I’m sorry.. I'm so sorry.” He whispered into the air, hugging himself with his free hand. “I- I had so much fun w-with you guys- I- I really did..!” He stuttered, his sobs becoming apparent now. Why was he showing so much emotions… this isn't normal. “Fuck- Im sorry.. Im just tired.”
He let out a shaky breath. “I'm tired of putting my mom in danger of him.. I-if im gone h-he wont be able to hurt her..!” He looked up from where he was walking… this is it. All he has to do is climb to the top and let go.
“I'm here… I gotta go, b-but I just wanted you all to know, I l-love you guys so much..” His hands were shaking, his finger hovering over the end button. “I ha-had so much fun with you guys- fuck- im sorry.” Maki ended the recording, said voicemail immediately being sent to the group chat.
He makes sure it's fully sent before he pockets his phone in his jacket.
He starts to climb up the bridge carefully. Thankfully it's not too high for him to slip and fall, not that he wouldn't have minded, but its high enough that when he falls into the water he’d lose consciousness and drown.
Once he got to the top, he took off his slippers and his jacket. The summer wind hit him hard from where he stood at the top. He looked down before backing up and looking at the stars.
..Oh how beautiful they were tonight. They shone in the midnight blue sky, he took a deep breath. This was it. He was really going to do it. There's no turning back, he told himself. He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the sound of his phone buzzing inside his pocket.
Oh.
So some of them were awake.
He smiled, and picked up his jacket and took his phone out. His face fell as Toma’s name appeared on the screen. He ignored it, he didn't want to hear anyone's voice before he left.
He waited till the call ended itself and saw his notifications.
147 messages in total.
75 being from the group chat.
34 from Mitsue.
22 from Yuu.
16 from Toma.
Maki smiled before dropping his phone next to his jacket and slippers. He stared at the sky once more before taking a few steps forward, and letting himself feel the wind hit his cheeks as he fell.
SPLASH.