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Donghyuck is aware that his reasons for hating Jaemin are utterly ridiculous.
He doesn’t like his face because it’s prettier than his. He hates Jaemin’s smile because it’s always there and makes Donghyuck forget what he wanted to say. He once told Donghyuck his memes aren’t funny. They played truth or dare in eighth grade, and when Jaemin was dared to kiss the cutest person in the room, he chose Donghyuck’s ex. The audacity.
It’s lots of things, and all of them are stupidly minuscule.
“I don’t think you hate him. I think you’re just intimidated.” Mark tells him on the regular, and every time he does, Donghyuck threatens to end their friendship.
He is not intimidated by Jaemin, thank you very much.
Maybe hate is too strong of a word. Jaemin is more like his life’s biggest minor inconvenience. He’s always around Donghyuck, always smiling, always way too nice, and Donghyuck doesn’t know how to deal with that.
Maybe he is a little intimidated.
If he wasn’t as petty as he was, maybe he’d bury his ridiculous mindset towards Jaemin. But he started this shit when they were fifteen, and he’d feel like such a loser if he dropped his act now after seven years of pretending to hate every of Jaemin’s action, so he just doesn’t.
He’s petty, but he’s also perseverant. He will keep rolling his eyes at every smile Jaemin gives him, will keep on telling Mark how obnoxious Jaemin’s overly friendly act is for all eternity.
At least that’s what he thought.
Donghyuck is sick.
It happens occasionally, and usually it’s no big deal.
This is not the usual cold, it seems.
It has been three days and Donghyuck still can’t move a muscle without writhing in pain and exhaustion, his throat hurts like he had seven razor blades for breakfast and his voice sounds like straight from a grave.
When he wakes up on this fine day, he isn’t sure if he didn’t accidentally slip into the deepest pits of hell overnight. He is pretty sure his body is on actual fire.
Under a lot of pain, he heaves himself through the apartment. An activity that would take two minutes maximum under normal circumstances. Today, he needs ten minutes to even reach the kitchen.
A note on the table tells him that Mark couldn’t disregard his academic responsibilities any longer. He had stayed home with Donghyuck for the past two days, making sure his best friend didn’t die, and Donghyuck does feel a little bad now, being such an inconvenience.
Before he can put himself down even more, the doorbell rings. Donghyuck prays it’s Mark who forgot his keys. Maybe his miserable appearance will convince him to stay.
It takes Donghyuck five minutes to get the door. He’ll be so mad if whoever it is left and made him crawl there for nothing—
He pulls himself up on the door handle and opens the door.
Instant regret fills him as he spots Jaemin.
Donghyuck closes his eyes. Opens them again. Jaemin is still there. Fuck.
“Hi,” Jaemin says, signature toothy grin on his face, and Donghyuck wants to drop dead. This is, like, the last thing he needs today.
“Mark’s not here.” His voice sounds like shit, he doesn’t even have to put effort in to sound gruff. Jaemin, as always, doesn’t care.
“I know.” He rakes a hand through his perfectly styled hair, messing it up slightly. Somehow, it looks even more perfect now. This shouldn’t be possible. Jaemin shouldn’t be possible.
Donghyuck squirms a little, feeling awfully uncomfortable in his wrinkled pyjamas, messy bed hair and just general aura of death and misery. He should’ve just stayed in bed.
Jaemin raises a bag he was probably holding from the start, but Donghyuck notices it only now. “I brought you some stuff, since you’re sick.”
“Why would you do that.” It’s not even meant to sound rude. No one even knew Donghyuck was sick – besides Mark, obviously.
Jaemin pouts, an almost automatic reaction. He doesn’t look really offended, though. He somehow never is, no matter how rude or socially awkward Donghyuck is around him. Donghyuck closes his eyes and sends a quick prayer to God to either let him get through this quickly or just kill him. “Never mind. Come in.”
The smile is back on Jaemin’s face in an instant, and he marches into the apartment like he owns the place, right into the kitchen. Donghyuck follows him with some difficulty. He watches Jaemin put his bag on the table, mentally already back in bed. Standing for more than ten minutes starts to take a toll on him, he needs to lie down and he just hopes whatever Jaemin’s deal is, he finishes it quickly and will leave Donghyuck alone.
But when Jaemin is done putting his things away – Donghyuck didn’t really pay attention to what it was, Jaemin could’ve very well hidden some Crystal Meth in the cabinet and Donghyuck wouldn’t know nor care – he just stands in the kitchen, looking at Donghyuck.
Donghyuck tilts his head, and squeezes his eyes shut as that simple movement causes a grenade to explode in his brain. “So, are you gonna leave, or…?”
A chuckle. “Wow, so hospitable.” It’s probably meant in a joking manner, since Jaemin always reacts with jokes and laughter whenever Donghyuck is mean to him. But unfortunately for Jaemin, Donghyuck doesn’t feel like joking right now. He feels like death, everything hurts and Jaemin’s presence makes it all worse. “Fuck off, I didn’t even fucking invite you.”
The words come out stronger that they were meant to. An awkward silence follows. Donghyuck has never been particularly friendly with Jaemin but there’s only few instances that Jaemin is actually at a loss for word faced with Donghyuck’s venomous words. He almost looks guilty. As if he’s the one who just hissed at his guest like a pissed off, sick cat.
And while Donghyuck is indeed pissed and sick and tired, he just doesn’t have the energy for confrontation and fighting, and especially not for Mark berating him later for being a bad host.
Donghyuck just wants peace and quiet, so he does what he usually never does. He apologizes.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, I just… I really feel like shit right now, I’m sorry. I’m gonna go lay down. Make yourself comfy, or go, I don’t care.”
He makes it only halfway to the bedroom before his body gives up on him. He feels his legs go jelly and sinks down before he can faint and hit his head in the process.
Sitting is nice but the floor is hard and cold and Donghyuck feels so miserable—
Jaemin is behind him, saying something, but Donghyuck doesn’t listen. Can’t listen. He feels Jaemin’s hands on him, his arms around his shoulders, then he’s gone.
When he wakes up again, he’s in his bed. Jaemin is on the floor next to him, elbows propped on the mattress, tapping away on his cell phone. When he notices Donghyuck stirring, he drops his phone. “You’re alive.”
Donghyuck swallows. His throat feels like it’s made out of wood-chip wallpaper. “Unfortunately.”
Jaemin chuckles before he grabs something from the bedside table. “Here, drink this.”
He helps Donghyuck sit up and hands him a mug, and Donghyuck doesn’t question it. He wouldn’t mind Jaemin poisoning him if that meant his suffering would end. He doesn’t remember how he ended up here, in his bed, but somewhere along the way a truck must have run over him. His whole body feels broken beyond repair.
“Time?” he croaks out.
“Almost noon. You were out for less than an hour.”
Donghyuck hums and keeps on drinking his tea. Or at least he assumes it’s tea. He actually doesn’t know what it is for sure, but it’s hot, not too hot, and doesn’t hurt his throat while swallowing. It’s heaven.
“Don’t pass out like that again, please.”
“I’ll try.”
After Donghyuck finishes half of his tea, Jaemin hands him water and some pills. Then, after a second of hesitation, he puts his hand on Donghyuck’s forehead.
Donghyuck can’t even complain or feel any other emotion about this, because Jaemin’s hand is so gentle and cold, not extinguishing but certainly damping the fire that’s currently raging through his brain.
“I think you have a fever.”
Donghyuck closes his eyes. “Sucks to be me.”
Jaemin sighs. He doesn’t sound annoyed, more… exhausted. Rude, considering Donghyuck is actively dying beside him. If anyone has a right to be exhausted, it’s Donghyuck. “Can I do anything else for you?”
An hour ago, the answer would have been, you could leave me alone. But the meds and the tea are working wonders for Donghyuck. He doesn’t know what exactly Jaemin gave him, but it’s already making his pain more bearable. Maybe keeping Jaemin around for a little longer isn’t the worst idea.
“Have you had breakfast this morning?”
Donghyuck closes his eyes. He isn’t capable to take care of himself properly on a normal day, how does Jaemin expect him to make breakfast in the condition he’s in?
Instead of answering he just sneezes and whines after because sneezing hurts his throat for whatever reasons, and his head as well, and maybe he’s just in a perpetual state of pain.
“Have you even eaten anything today?”
Donghyuck rolls his eyes. Which hurts his head, so he instantly regrets it. “Not hungry.”
Jaemin sighs again. “Alright, I’m making us something”
Before Donghyuck can object, Jaemin’s already out of the room.
Donghyuck swears he didn’t mean to fall asleep again.
He startles as Jaemin softly shakes him awake. “Food’s ready. Do you want to eat in the kitchen or should I just bring you a plate?”
“I told you I’m not hungry.”
Jaemin crouches down next to the bed, going eye level with Donghyuck. “Please eat at least something. Just a little bit.”
Donghyuck whines and pulls the blanket higher. The thought of food makes him feel a little sick. Or maybe he just hasn’t eaten anything in two days so that he feels sick regardless.
“C’mon, darling. For me. And for Mark.”
Donghyuck’s body runs just a few degrees hotter at the nickname. He tells himself it’s either anger or the deadly fever. He huffs and closes his eyes.
He hears Jaemin taking a deep breath. Then there’s fingers on his cheek, cold and soft. Donghyuck’s eyes fly open.
Jaemin carefully pulls the blanket down. “I promise I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day after you eat.”
“Really?”
“No.”
Donghyuck is almost surprised at himself as he smiles.
The next day, Mark stays home again. After Jaemin told him about the little fainting episode – which Donghyuck begged him to keep a secret between the two of them – he deemed university considerably less important than his best friend’s wellbeing. Donghyuck is awfully touched.
He’s only a little surprised when Jaemin shows up around noon, bringing more meds and groceries.
They don’t do a lot – Donghyuck is not really in the condition to do anything besides lying around and suffer. He faints in and out of sleep until the late afternoon while Jaemin and Mark do university stuff and prepare dinner.
They have dinner in the living room in front of the TV because Donghyuck wanted to watch Dirty Dancing really bad. He didn’t say it out loud but Mark knows him well enough, so he only had to take one look at Donghyuck to know what he wanted (which was, well, having dinner in the living room watching Dirty Dancing).
Donghyuck doesn’t remember when he fell asleep, but when he wakes up, it’s dark outside, the TV is turned off, and he’s on top of Jaemin.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“Morning….?” With half-open eyes, Donghyuck looks around for the LED clock on their living room table. The red numbers burn his eyes in the otherwise dim room, but Donghyuck is pretty sure it’s shortly after two AM.
“You drooled all over my pants.”
That does wake Donghyuck up very quickly.
“Huh?!” He sits up so quickly that his head immediately starts throbbing with pain and probably a fair amount of embarrassment. Not only did he fall asleep on top of Jaemin, no, there’s indeed some drool on his pants. Not for the first time in the past days, Donghyuck wants to die.
“Oh my God. I’m sorry, you should’ve woken me up—“
“Oh no, it’s fine.” It’s really not, but what does Jaemin know. His voice turns softer when he adds, “You looked like you needed that sleep.”
Donghyuck opens his mouth, and closes it again. It’s not like he can object. When he looks at Jaemin, he catches a smile on his face, directed at Donghyuck. Not his usual teasing grin, it’s something else, something… Donghyuck looks away before he can overanalyse it. His stomach tingles all of a sudden. Surely, it’s just part of his sickness.
“How do you feel? Headache, fever, anything? Should I get you some painkillers?”
“No, it’s fine, I feel… okay.” That’s kind of an overstatement. Donghyuck still feels like he’s been awake for fifteen days running seven marathons, his head still throbs a little at every movement, his throat itches, and he still needs to mentally process that he slept on top of Jaemin.
“I should go to bed. Like, my actual bed.” Donghyuck chuckles, high and awkwardly. He’ll never get over this, oh God. “You can just, uh, take the couch…”
Surprisingly, Jaemin shakes his head and stands up. “Nah, I’m going home. I still have an assignment that’s due tomorrow.”
Donghyuck stumbles off the couch and would’ve fallen straight on his face if it wasn’t for Jaemin’s fast hands. Donghyuck tries (and fails) to ignore Jaemin’s arms that are now wrapped around his middle, putting him back in an upright position with no visible effort, and gawks at Jaemin. “What the hell? Why would you spend the whole day here when you have a deadline, oh my God.” It’s very unlike Jaemin, the usually so diligent student who’s known for finishing anything university related before everybody else.
Jaemin grins, uncharacteristically sheepish. “Uh. Well, I…”
Donghyuck clicks his tongue and shakes his head, wincing as the motion causes more panging ache. “Ah, whatever.” It’s not like he can stop Jaemin from leaving in the state that he’s in. “Just text me when you get home. Or text Mark, I’ll be probably passed out within the next two minutes.”
Jaemin laughs. “Let me help you get back to your room safely, then.”
“I’ll get to my room on my own just fi- hey, let go of me!”
(Jaemin does get him to his room safely. His arms only leave Donghyuck’s waist when Donghyuck is safely tucked under his blanket. Donghyuck will pretend that never happened.
When he wakes up five hours later, it’s to a text from Jaemin telling him he got home safely.)
The next day, Donghyuck doesn’t even bat an eye when Jaemin shows up. This time, he brings herbal tea and Renjun. While Renjun works on an art assignment, Donghyuck and Jaemin prepare a three-course meal. Or, more like Jaemin prepares a three-course meal while keeping Donghyuck from helping.
“You’re still sick, what if you sneeze on the pork and get us all sick?”
Jaemin has a point but Donghyuck still whines and meekly attempts to fight back as he gets manoeuvred onto a chair. He hates feeling useless.
Jaemin gently pets his head, and Donghyuck wishes the motion would make his pain spike, but all it does is filling his whole body with unexplainable heat. “Don’t be stubborn. Let me take care of you.”
“You’ve been taking care of me for days now.”
Jaemin leans closer, voice getting lower. “And you’re enjoying it, don’t you?”
Donghyuck’s breath staggers at the sudden proximity, and instead of a verbal answer he gasps like a fish on land. As if on cue, his cheeks heat up, and Jaemin has the audacity to giggle.
On day four, Donghyuck’s fever spikes again, which is so sick and twisted, because all the meds Jaemin kept bringing had been working so well, and now Donghyuck feels like acute death again. Life is so cruel sometimes.
He doesn’t know when or how it happens, but at some point, he’s on Jaemin’s lap. He didn’t realize Jaemin came over, but since he’s been coming for the past few days, he really shouldn’t be surprised.
“Drink this, it’ll help.” Jaemin presses a glass against his lips, and Donghyuck is too weak to protest. If this stuff will not make him better, he swears to God…
Thankfully, he does get better. He can’t tell how long it’s been – hours or minutes, maybe it’s already the next day, who knows, Donghyuck certainly doesn’t – when the pain starts to cease. Along with his energy. Not that he had a lot to begin with.
“Tired,” me mumbles and Jaemin chuckles. Donghyuck would love to know what’s so funny. The world tilts sideways, and he needs a second to realize Jaemin has put him into bed. Jaemin tucks the blanket over him and brushes his hair out of his face. “Catch some sleep.”
There’s a spike of panic in his throat when Jaemin withdraws. “Don’t go,” he squeaks, trying to reach for Jaemin but getting hindered by the stupid blanket.
Jaemin stills, eyes jumping between Donghyuck and the door for a moment, before he kneels back down with a small smile. “I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.”
Donghyuck sighs in contentment. He doesn’t dare close his eyes completely. He’s a little scared Jaemin is just a fragment of his imagination and will disappear if he doesn’t pay attention. “Please don’t disappear. I’ll die without you.”
Jaemin laughs. “Mark would take care of you just fine.”
Donghyuck is pretty sure he’d have died right under Mark’s nose if Jaemin didn’t show up a few days ago. He can’t even blame Mark, because Mark is such a good guy, he means well, and is incredibly capable, but he’s also lost and confused and a terrible cook. He can be lucky Jaemin showed up before he fainted in the kitchen.
“I’m glad you came by,” Donghyuck hums. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Jaemin’s smile grows, and so does the temperature in Donghyuck’s body. He needs Jaemin to stop smiling, he can’t think when he does that.
“Stop smiling, you’re distracting me.”
“Huh.” Jaemin sounds a little confused, but only smiles wider, grins even at Donghyuck antics. Donghyuck would be mad if he wasn’t so pretty. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty,” he grumbles with a pout.
That does freeze Jaemin’s smile. His face goes a little pink. “Uh. Thanks. You’re pretty, too.”
“I look a second away from dying.”
“Yes, but you’re still cute.”
“You’re cuter,” Donghyuck responds without missing a beat. Because it’s true. No one is cuter than Jaemin. “No one is cuter than you.”
Jaemin drops his head in his hands, giggling. His face is fully red by now. “Where does this come from all of a sudden?”
Donghyuck could prepare a whole PowerPoint presentation for this.
“You’re so pretty you make my brain stop working. I feel dizzy every time you smile at me. You said my memes aren’t funny when we were sixteen, and I’m still mad about that. I will forever hold that against you. Why are you laughing? Jaemin, are you making fun of me, do you think I’m funny?”
Jaemin is a mess of giggles, and Donghyuck isn’t sure whether he should be flattered or offended, but the sound is heaven to his ears. Maybe he is dead and didn’t go to hell like he thought but to heaven. And Jaemin is an angel. He needs to tell him.
“I think I’m dead. And you’re an angel.”
Jaemin almost chokes. “And I think you should really go to sleep now—“
“Mark always says I’m just scared of you. And he’s probably right. Pretty people scare me.” Donghyuck yawns. He feels tired all of a sudden. “But don’t tell Mark that I’m agreeing with him, it’ll push his ego too much.”
Jaemin chuckles. “Alright, he won’t hear a word from me.” He pulls the blanket tight around Donghyuck again, who sighs in contentment and closes his eyes. A hand brushes his forehead before gently tucking a few lost strands of hair out of his face. “You should stop talking and go to sleep now.”
“Won’t you stay?” Donghyuck swears he doesn’t pout as he says it.
“I’ll… I’ll just get you another bottle of water, yeah? I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Donghyuck sighs. His throat does feel pretty dry after all the talking. “Alright.”
He only wakes up in the evening when Jaemin is long gone.
Whatever meds Jaemin gave him, they were strong enough to knock him out for several hours and, fortunately make him get rid of most of his pain.
Unfortunately, they were not strong enough to wipe his mind of all the things he told Jaemin.
God, he wants to jump off a building so bad.
“You’re being very dramatic.” Mark tells him without looking up from his papers. He never takes Donghyuck’s Jaemin-related mental breakdowns serious, that bastard. “Didn’t you just tell him the truth.”
“Yes! I mean, no! I’m supposed to hate him.”
That does make Mark look up. He shoots Donghyuck the most exasperated look ever. “Dude. No one forces you to hate him. I never really understood why you even dislike him in the first place, he’s such a sweet guy.”
Donghyuck jumps up from the couch and winces at the bolts of pain shooting through his limps. He drops back down on the couch. “Yes! And that’s the problem! He’s so nice it’s unsettling. No person is this nice for no reason, he’s either a supervillain in disguise or he has some evil ulterior motives.”
He must sound completely mental, considering the way Mark looks at him, but since Donghyuck’s brain has been melting out of his ears ever since his fever spiked again, he doesn’t care. Besides, the cold made him lose all inhibitions and filters – he never had a fully working brain to mouth filter anyway – so all he can do is ramble on. About Jaemin. About how insufferable he is, with his pretty smile, and his perfect hair and impeccable sense of clothes, his stupid talent with his stupid camera, his weird sense of humour that isn’t funny at all and pisses Donghyuck off to no end because it still makes him giggle despite all.
Donghyuck feels out of breath after his monologue. Like everything in the past week, he blames it on his cold.
Mark just looks at him with the same half-concerned half amused expression from before. “Are you done?”
“…Yeah, I guess.”
“You just gave me an almost ten-minute monologue about why you hate Jaemin and said literally nothing negative about him.”
“Well, that’s very debatable—“
“I think you’re kinda obsessed with him.”
“… Excuse me?”
“You don’t hate Jaemin. You’re obsessed with him. Like a celebrity crush parasocial relationship kinda thing, but Jaemin is no unattainable celebrity bur your best friend’s best friend.”
Donghyuck takes Mark’s pencil out of his hand and throws it at Mark’s head. “Fuck you, Mark. I am not obsessed with Jaemin.”
Mark was so right when he said Donghyuck was obsessed with Jaemin. Maybe one day Donghyuck can admit it.
That day is still far away, though.
For now, he avoids looking in Jaemin’s direction.
Its been merely 24 hours after ‘the disaster’ (aka after Donghyuck rambling about how cute Jaemin is. To Jaemin.) and he’s sure he will never recover from it. He will never be able to look Jaemin in the eyes again, he will never be able to interact with him normally. One of them has to leave the country. Or at least this house. And since Donghyuck is still sick and can’t walk more than seventeen steps at once, Jaemin has to bite the bullet.
He wasn’t surprised to see Jaemin enter the apartment again this morning (he got the spare key at this point) but it still made his heart drop heavy with panic.
Jaemin notices that something is off, keeps asking if everything is okay, if his fever spiked again, if he needs Jaemin to get him some more ibuprofen—
Donghyuck keeps him at a seven-foot distance, mentally and physically.
It escalates when he actively shoves Jaemin away when he comes too close. Jaemin almost drops the cup he wanted to hand Donghyuck. Donghyuck almost immediately feels bad for his actions.
Jaemin narrows his eyes at him. He doesn’t even look angry, bur confused. Scrutinizing. A little worried. It makes everything worse. “What’s going on with you all of a sudden? If you don’t want me here you could just say so.”
Donghyuck swallows. It hurts his throat. “Alright. Leave, then.”
The change of expression tells Donghyuck that Jaemin did not expect that answer. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“What is going on, I thought—“
“Please. Just leave. I need space.”
Jaemin bites his lips, looks like he wants to say more. But then his shoulder sag, all traces of mischief leaving his face and Donghyuck feels sick with guilt already. He almost opens his mouth, wants to take back his words. But he watches, silently, as Jaemin trots towards the door, and quickly looks the other way when Jaemin turns around to look back at him.
A few beats of silence. Then the door opens. Donghyuck doesn’t look back until he hears it close behind Jaemin.
Jaemin doesn’t come back.
Donghyuck’s cold gets better again over the weekend. Maybe it hasn’t been a cold but an allergic reaction to Jaemin (that, or the fact he still has a million boxes of pills and remedies Jaemin brought over the past week).
Donghyuck is almost convinced he’s fully healed again. From the cold, not from the heartbreak he unexpectedly has to face when he realizes on Sunday that Jaemin is gone for good.
Well. He did tell him that he wanted him to leave. He just didn’t expect Jaemin to listen.
And, sure, Donghyuck is still majorly embarrassed about the fact that he essentially spilled all his awkward and pathetic feelings about Jaemin towards the man himself. But now, after two days of no Jaemin… he only realized what he lost after it’s gone, it seemed.
The day passes and the last hope he had that Jaemin would still show up evaporates with every passing minute.
By Monday, Donghyuck feels like death again.
He doesn’t know what kind of wicked cold this is that has been haunting him for over a week now, coming and going, making him go through all stages of pain on the worst days. Like, when will it be over. He is so done. So done. Maybe he should go see a doctor.
Not today, though. Mark isn’t there to drive him, and he wouldn’t make it out of the door of their apartment even if he wanted. So, he tries to save his life by making himself some kinda dark magic tea that will heal his sore throat. It’s one of the things Jaemin brought him on the first day. Everything reminds Donghyuck of him.
He sighs, maybe a little heartbroken, as he grabs his cup to bring it over to the cattle. He doesn’t know yet how he’s supposed to lift the cattle to fill the boiling water into his cup when he’s already struggling with carrying his own body weight, but he’ll manage. He’ll figure something out.
The door opens. It doesn’t really startle him. Mark’s classes don’t end for another hour but maybe he decided to come back early after seeing the heap of misery Donghyuck turned into this morning. Maybe he can drive him to the doctor’s—
Something shatters on the floor. This does startle Donghyuck. And the person who just entered the apartment. The person who isn’t Mark.
“Hyuck,” Jaemin calls and a second later he appears in the doorway to the kitchen. “What was that, is everything okay?”
Donghyuck looks down. His cup lies on the floor, shattered into a million little pieces that he now has to clean up. It was his favourite cup. Renjun gifted it to him on his birthday three years ago. And now it’s broken.
He looks back up at Jaemin, who’s taken a few steps into the room. “Don’t move, yeah?” He opens one of the cabinets and pulls out a dustpan. “Let me clean that up.”
Donghyuck just watches as Jaemin swiftly cleans the mess around his feet. He disposes of the shards and steps in front of Donghyuck, looking him over. “You okay? You didn’t get hurt, did y- oh my God, are you crying?”
Donghyuck sniffles. “No,” he whimpers before he fully breaks out in tears.
Immediately, a pair of arms wraps around his shoulders. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Everything,” Donghyuck, dramatic as ever, sobs and buries his nose in Jaemin’s neck. “I hate my life.”
Jaemin’s chest rumbles with a stifled chuckle, and Donghyuck would have been more offended if he wasn’t currently busy with his own mental breakdown. He’ll berate Jaemin for it later.
Jaemin holds him through it, the constant murmurs of “It’s okay,” and “I’m here, you’re fine,” help him calm down within minutes. The tears still won’t stop completely, though. Donghyuck takes a step out of Jaemin’s embrace and rubs at his eyes, a little frustrated and a lot embarrassed.
Jaemin grabs his wrist, stopping him front rubbing the skin around his eyes raw. “How about you go lay down on the couch, I’ll make new tea.”
Donghyuck nods, takes another step, and promptly staggers. Crying was too much effort, it seemed, it sucked all the power his still weakened body possessed out of him. Jaemin’s hand wraps around his elbow. He tilts his head, the hint of a grin adorning his face. “I better carry you, huh?”
“Y- you really don’t need to carry me to the couch—“
He does end up getting carried by Jaemin. Bridal style. It’s only for a short moment since the couch is only a few feet away, but it’s long enough to make his fever spike again. At least Donghyuck tells himself that it’s his fever that sets his body as well as his face on fire.
“Why are you still so nice to me,” Donghyuck grumbles and rubs his eyes again, not looking at Jaemin. The younger chuckles. “Because I like you.”
That makes Donghyuck look up. “Why? I’ve always been super rude to you, and not even for a good reason!”
Jaemin shrugs, his smile turning a little wistful. “I guess you can’t choose who you fall for.”
“You… wait. Wait. Do you mean like, like in, romantically? Jaemin, hey! Don’t just walk out on me now, Na Jaemin!”
“I’m making us some tea!” Jaemin shouts back from the kitchen. Donghyuck is pretty sure the other just wants to evade this conversation. Under normal circumstances, he’d follow him, but now, the couch is way too comfortable, and Donghyuck’s legs are made out of wet cotton and will not hold him if he dares to get up. So, he crosses his arms and pouts, waiting for Jaemin to come back into the living room.
He does show up only a few minutes later, carrying two cups of steaming tea.
“Na Jaemin. What the fuck did you just mean, that shit about not choosing who to fall for?”
Jaemin hands Donghyuck one cup before sits down next to Donghyuck’s legs on the couch and takes a sip of what Donghyuck now realizes is plain black coffee. “It’s exactly what it sounds like.”
“So you… like me. Like, in a romantic way?” Donghyuck feels almost ridiculous for asking, but Jaemin just nods.
“Yeah. I thought that was obvious, to be honest. But your cold probably melted your whole brain.”
Donghyuck just stares at him. Jaemin takes another sip, and then stares back with a soft smile. He’s not even blushing, what the fuck. Like, he just holds full eye contact after spilling his feelings. This guy, Jesus fucking Christ.
Donghyuck doesn’t think he can deal with this. His whole life he thought Jaemin was just pissing him off on purpose, and now he learns his fated enemy is in love with him? His first impulse is once again to tell Jaemin to get out. But then he closes his eyes, takes a deep, clearing breath. Which sends him into a coughing fit.
“Oh my god, are you okay, I swear I didn’t wanna stress you out or anything.” Jaemin grabs Donghyuck’s cup out of his hand before he can spill hot water over himself. He gently pats Donghyuck’s back until Donghyuck can breathe properly again. “I just thought… I don’t know, it’s been so long, if you haven’t figured it out after three years, I might just tell you to your face.”
Donghyuck just barely supresses another coughing fit. He is a little impressed, not gonna lie. “Three years? You’re persistent, how did you not get annoyed with me?”
“How could I?”
“Oh, come on.” Donghyuck barks out a laugh. “Even I get annoyed with myself every other day. What the hell do you see in me?”
“A lot.”
Donghyuck hides his face behind his hands. How cheesy can an answer be. ”Oh my God.”
Jaemin ignores him. “I see how you act with the rest of our friends. I think it’s cute when you get mad at me over nothing. I never really thought you disliked me, to be honest. I wouldn’t have pushed for so long if I really believed that.” His eyes cloud. “But after you told me to leave the other day, I wasn’t so sure anymore. I thought I’d crossed some boundaries and…”
“God, no. That wasn’t your fault, I was just…” Donghyuck swallows. “I was just being dramatic and a little embarrassed b- because of the stuff I told you the day before. When I was, like, high on meds.”
Jaemin tilts his head and sends him scrutinizing stare that makes Donghyuck feel like a prey animal. “Did you mean what you said?”
“Um. Well, it’s not like I lied, but I probably would have phrased it differently under different circumstances.”
The grin appears back on Jaemin’s face and Donghyuck hates it, so he clears his throat and tries to change the topic. “So you’re in love with me?”
“Yes.” Jaemin doesn’t even hesitate, doesn’t take his eyes off Donghyuck, doesn’t even lose his annoyingly confident expression.
Donghyuck groans. “How are you so confident about this? How can you admit that so easily?”
Jaemin just shrugs. “I’ve had years to come to terms with my feelings.” He hesitates a few seconds before he goes on. “I also don’t… I just wanted to get it out. I don’t expect you to make anything of it or whatever. This doesn’t have to change anything between us. I just didn’t want to keep it to myself any longer.”
Jaemin gets up suddenly, startling Donghyuck a little. “I texted Mark, he should be back any minute.”
“You’re leaving?” Donghyuck blushes as the evident disappointment in his voice.
“Yeah.” Jaemin grabs his phone from the coffee table and types something, before he looks back at Donghyuck. “But I’ll be back tomorrow, if you want me to.”
“I… Yes.” Donghyuck, taking all his courage, thinks about how Jaemin looked him in the eye with full confidence when he said he loved him and adds, “I really missed you.”
Jaemin smiles, looks down and… wow, now he’s blushing. Maybe Donghyuck should be honest with him more often. This is a victory. (Donghyuck is blushing as well, has been ever since Jaemin carried him to the couch, but that was just the fever. Obviously.)
Mark arrives fifteen minutes after Jaemin left.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like shit?”
I looked like death personified this morning, is was Donghyuck should say. What comes out instead is, “Jaemin just told me he’s in love with me.”
Mark doesn’t even bat an eye. “Oh, did he finally tell you?”
“What the hell? Aren’t you surprised? Did you know?”
Mark laughs, as if that question alone is too ridiculous to be meant serious. “Of course. I’m pretty sure everyone knew except you.”
Oh.
While Mark prepares dinner (aka calls the pizza delivery service), Donghyuck texts the rest of his friends to ask some important questions, and, indeed, it seems like the only one unaware about the pathetic crush Jaemin has been harbouring was Donghyuck himself.
Mark drags him into the kitchen to eat, and Donghyuck pouts when he has to leave his couch. Jaemin would’ve let him eat on the couch. In his bed, even. And he would have changed the sheets for him after.
“What do I do now? About Jaemin?”
“I don’t know? Confess back?”
“But I’m not even in love with him?”
While Donghyuck says is, he can already feel his confidence in that statement waver. Like, he literally just thought about Jaemin doing domestic house tasks for him, and the thought made his stomach rumble with butterflies.
Mark looks at him, eyebrows so high they’re almost at his hairline. “Are you sure about that?”
Donghyuck shortly considers throwing his pizza box at him, but decides against it. He doesn’t want to waste his leftovers like that. He pushes the box away from himself and leans back in his chair with crossed arms. “Are you gaslighting me into thinking I like Jaemin?”
Mark huffs and grabs Donghyuck’s pizza box to put the barely touched pizza into the fridge. “I think the only one gaslighting you about your feelings for Jaemin is yourself—“
“No, you know what, I’ll never ask you for advice ever again, fuck you. I’m going to bed.”
“Will you make it to your bedroom or should I call Jaemin to carry you?”
If Donghyuck wasn’t so weak, he’d have actually thrown something. “Fuck. You.”
It’s hours after the confession, and Donghyuck is still thinking about it.
Jaemin told him he doesn’t expect it to change anything, but like, if he comes over tomorrow, Donghyuck needs to say something. Or does he? He doesn’t want Jaemin to pine over him if he doesn’t stand a chance, that just feels cruel.
Problem is, Donghyuck doesn’t even know himself if Jaemin’s feelings are unrequited. Seven days ago, he thought Jaemin was the most annoying person on the planet. Yesterday he almost cried when Jaemin didn’t show up to take care of him. And now he’s blushing and giggling and involuntarily smiling whenever he thinks about the afternoon.
He feels like he speedran relationship development within six days, the disdain for Jaemin turning into… something different, something more within such a short time. That shouldn’t be possible.
You never really hated him, an evil little voice that sounds suspiciously like Mark whispers in his head, you always liked him but just couldn’t admit it to yourself. Because you’re stubborn and petty and dramatic.
The next few days pass rather uneventfully. Jaemin still comes over every day, brings either food or their friends to pass the time. He doesn’t bring up the whole confession thing, doesn’t treat Donghyuck any different.
Donghyuck gradually gets better. It’s day four after the confession that he’s the one in front of Jaemin’s apartment.
Just a few moments after he rings the bell, the door opens. “Oh?” Jaemin seems pleasantly surprised to see Donghyuck, a soft smile appearing on his face as soon as he spots him, and Donghyuck can’t help but smile back.
“Hi.” He grins, a little sheepish. He did not think this through. Like, at all. He didn’t even have so much as a rough battle plan when he left his apartment, didn’t know what he wanted to tell Jaemin now that they’re in front of each other. He just hoped it would come to him like some God given epiphany. But now he’s here, staring into Jaemin’s eyes, head empty, no thoughts.
So, like always, instead of thinking, he just acts.
Jaemin’s lips feel as soft as he imagined. Not that he had thought about it in detail before or anything. His eyelashes brush Donghyuck’s cheek as he closes his eyes and leans forward into Donghyuck.
Donghyuck is pretty sure the kiss doesn’t last that long, but then again, what even is time when you’re kissing Na Jaemin.
“Do you wanna go out with me?” Maybe he should’ve started with that question instead of just kissing Jaemin. Jaemin doesn’t look too mad about it, though. He tilts his head. “If you just passed your cold over to me, I’m breaking up with you before we even start dating.”
“I heard kissing strengthens the immune system.”
“Huh.” Jaemin grins. “Maybe we should make out a little more, then.”
Donghyuck was never happier to comply.