N’s Diary | Draft title: I hate it Here | Murder Drones |

by mia_writesstuff1

Summary:

N's trauma, feelings and thoughts on a story, he will break down, basically all the drama we wanted to see on the series, N has a story to tell, one he has to tell and discover by himself.

N wants to know what happened to his lost memories, to know who he is, what he is, and mostly, why he feels so... empty, so sad, without any reason at all, he is hurting himself and no one seems to notice, why is he the only one who seems to care about this, his thoughts are not important?, his feeling are not important? his decisions are not important? Is he not important?

Nuzi, SH, Severe Depression, ED, sensitive topics, (nothing too explicit, just wanted to write a phycological story :3)

Chapter 1: Synopsis

Summary:

The start of everything, N starts having doubts about his feelings and real thoughts.

Notes:

English is not my first language so... um, tell me if I write something wrong
Im just here to write N angst and try to make people cry, you're warned hun :3
(I come from wattpad cuz I don't like the format nor the fact that my story flops LMAO
and looks like
this is more popular :3)

(No Playlist)

We need to have a start, right?

 

|N's perspective|

 

After we defeated Cyn, well- the solver, I finally thought everything would be just fine, no more fights, no more weird edgy stuff going on around, V didn't have to be afraid anymore! she could tell me all without worrying, or at least that's what I think... she needs some time, I get that.

 

I don't find any sign of J here... she got kicked very hard, I hope we find her soon, V doesn't want to, nor Uzi... but, I'm sure she had a reason for everything that happened! She was mean sure... but, we can't assume all, communication is key!

 

Leaving that topic, V and I are now living in the colony! Is soooo cool! The other Worker Drones are no longer afraid of us, V has gained some popularity due Lizzy, I did too, and is so exciting having new friends! ... that are not rocks... haha...

 

Uzi and I also started dating, it is... new... but it feels nice, very nice... she has planned a lot of things for us!

 

However, I don't think I'm ready for any of them... maybe one or two, but there are some things I would like to talk about with her...

 

Leaving that behind, that is not very important- now that Nori came back with us, Khan and Uzi have been working on a new body for her, using parts that we found laying over the labs and, outside, Nori still hates me- Maybe because I'm dating her daughter haha!

 

...

 

I'm starting to think is just because I'm a Disassembly Drone

 

But I just can't prove it

 

Shouldn't care too much about it... right?

 

...

 

Well... Khan is still very much the same, Lizzy and Thad too

 

Life is good, I don't think I want to change anything from it! :3

But, something ain't right...

 

I feel weird, I don't know why, it is a dumb feeling... Why do I suddenly feel...

 

Sad?

 

I have no reason to be sad! We finally defeated The Solver! V is alright... I have friends that are not rocks! I have a place to stay... I even have a lovely and amazing girlfriend!

 

...

 

I have no reason to be sad...

 

But

 

Is still there

 

...

 

Maybe, If I push it off everything will be fine...

 

I don't wanna be a burden to anyone, especially Uzi, she already has a lot of things to worry about, I don't wanna make her worry about things that aren't important... feelings that are not important...

 

Things have been weird too, like... the Russian girl... Doll, I think it was her name, and Cyn...never went away...

 

Sometimes, I have nightmares about them, both, and it is weird, VERY weird... I considered telling Uzi... but, I don't know, I don't have words that can explain why I can't.

I just want to have a normal life, I don't know what that is, but Uzi will tell me! She knows everything! and shows me everything! With her, is more than enough, with V, is more than enough, with my friends, is more than enough.
So...

 

I still don't understand, why I feel this empty

As much as I try to deny it, deep inside…

 

I HATE IT HERE
And I don't understand why...

Notes:

Well- That's it! Thanks for reading :3