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“Fucking V,” muttered Frater, and I knew he didn’t mean his lettered key.
I had been greeted by the aberrant keyboard piece, as soon as I’d entered his temporary office; recklessly discarded right there on the threadbare rug right in front of the door. Poor Copia, this room really was rather shabby, all musty furniture and peeling wallpaper, a wanton chandelier above all the disorder, in dire need of a polishing. Hopefully his proper office would soon be ready to receive him. I had every faith that he would be able to lead this place into a higher glory; he deserved every respect afforded to his exalted position.
My boss continued to grumble, underneath an angry huff he directed down into his ancient computer, “… hyped-up shit… this buffoon…” I could hear the couch he was awkwardly seated on creak as he struggled with a grunt to get comfortable in his immaculately pressed black suit. The silly man’s pants were too tight, and I snuck a sly glance over to his crotch for only a quick second.
“The new guy?” I piped up innocently in offering, over my stack of ledger books in a corner of the chaotic room. As I spoke I was sure to keep my errant eyes trained down on my work; there was no reason to make this situation any more awkward.
“Who the fuck is he…” breathed out Copia, as if to himself at first, before seemingly realizing that he wasn’t all alone in here. “Oh, my dear, forgive an angry old man his frustrations…”
I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of our dear Frater outright angry, even at an unexpected twin brother taking over his old job fairly out of the blue. “Don’t worry about it, Your Dark Excellency,” I said cheerfully, scribbling my way through the treasury accounts. I loved it when he called me his dear…
I could see him tilt his greying head at the formal title he still wasn’t yet used to. “Yes, well… please forgive me my language then, eh?”
“I’ve heard worse,” I replied, grinning down at my paperwork. Fuck. Now, when and where had I last heard that vulgar syllable, uttered in such a strangely similar tone?
Frater was not the only person in here with V on the mind.
Papa Perpetua V, to be exact; the new Anti-Pope, if not outright Antichrist. And as of this past night, yet not in the biblical sense, to be sure… I had become not exactly, entirely… unacquainted with him.
It had started out of the blue for me as well. Just last night, in fact, a nightmare had emerged from within the darkness of my bedroom. Clad in black, a figure purposeful and menacing; an icy skull concealing a smug face. The skin underneath he had painted in his own version of the ghastly papal mask of all his predecessors, precisely applied. The way that he moved felt so intimate, though I had never even spoken directly to him. I hadn’t yet dared. Kneeling over me in bed, he had flashed his crooked teeth down at my bewilderment, closer than I had even realized at first.
“What in the hell…” I had gasped, half-asleep.
“What do you know of hell, Sorella?” He’d said clearly, his voice so very unfamiliar, and yet…
Bucking up in my blankets, I’d tried to flee on instinct from this new addition to our dark faith, but he’d held me down with gloves more akin to claws than fingers. “Shh.. shh…” he’d soothed, “I come only seeking your counsel, Sister.” I felt very much awake, now.
“Are you daft? It’s the middle of the night…”
“I am aware, but it’s been so very difficult to get you all to myself, you see? To capture all of your attentions…” he prattled on, his painted lips sharp.
As my vision focused I could see that he shared the exact same eyes as Copia did. It was fairly unnerving. “What do you want?” I snapped, adding after an addled breath, “Your… Your Excellency…”
He had seemed almost confused at the title. “I want you… I need you to help me get used to this place… so many odd customs here…”
I shook my head in confusion. “Why don’t you go and ask your brother?”
“I barely know him.”
“You barely know me!” I almost shouted.
“Shh… shhhh… will you keep your voice down?” he’d said, as if he had any right to be so annoyed.
“Will you let me sit up?” I asked through gritted teeth. He got up off of me in answer. Arranging myself as gracefully as I could against my headboard, I turned my head only slightly to glance at this newly anointed member of our great clergy, seated dangerously close beside me in my humble little bed. There was an awkward silence, and I could see he was wearing a full suit, including shoes. Hardly bedtime attire. “You really need to go and talk to Frater Imperator, you haven’t had one single appointment with him yet. I would know.”
“I’d rather not get into all the family dramatics,” he said grimly. Another strange silence followed, and I shrugged my shoulders in my ministry-issued nightgown. V was interesting, but he was far less charming than his brother, and I was tired.
“I suppose the entire situation is quite… strange,” I offered, fighting back a yawn, “now get out of my room.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m going back to sleep,” I stated, shimmying down underneath my covers, “‘night.”
“Well now,” I heard him protest, “see here, you… you underling!” I could feel him poking me with those insane gloves he was wearing.
“I report to Frater Imperator,” I mumbled against my pillow, so soft, “not you.”
Immediately, I could feel my bed shaking as he turned to straddle me in it, caging me in between his knees as I scrambled around to face him again. Any alarm seeking to escape me was quickly trapped by his grotesque glove clamping down upon my lips, and now his eerie face was quite close to mine. His white eye burned into my widened ones.
“I am the reigning Papa here! You will obey me in every way I dictate—”
I kneed him in the dick.
“Fuck! Oh…” he garbled down into my chest as his body collapsed on top of me.
“You have some balls speaking to me like that, Papa,” I muttered, pushing him off to the side as he wheezed. “Maybe I’ll tell Frater how you seemed to mistake my room for yours…” I couldn’t help but yawn out a little again as I turned onto my side to get comfortable once more. “Maybe l’ll tell him tomorrow…”
“Tell him whatever you like, Sorella!” I could hear V whining, “That old windbag doesn’t scare me…”
“Aren’t you the exact same age?”
“Fuck!” He sounded incredibly irritated.
“Watch your language…” I dared to throw out. There was another long pause, and I listened to his testy breathing slow right behind me. Eventually, I heard him begin to laugh a little, soft and curious.
“Well, I have certainly fucked up this little introduction, haven’t I? Excuse my language.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I couldn’t help but giggle beside him, both at his frustrations and his disposition. “Just don’t… don’t be so disrespectful of Frater Imperator. I won’t have it.”
“Oh I see now… you quite fancy him, don’t you?”
I hoped he couldn’t see the blush forming on my cheeks in the dark.
“No witty answer for me?”
I kept quiet.
“Hmmm…”
Maybe he’d leave me be if he thought I was drifting off to sleep. After another moment, I felt him move upon the bed, and direct his breath down into my ear. “How’s about you help guide me a little, starting tomorrow, and I won’t say one word of your business to my dear brother… when I do go to speak with him, that is…”
“Blackmail is always a good start to beginning this life of vice,” I quipped.
“Yes, I thought so,” he chuckled, “maybe I’m meant to be here after all…”
With that, I assumed he would leave, and I could finally get some rest before dawn came creeping on in, but when I noticed he wasn’t moving, seemingly lost within his thoughts, I turned over sharply to deliver another remark, hopefully amusing. His face had come down closer to mine, presumably to kiss my forehead in a chaste goodnight, and with my turning around I accidentally caught the brush of his curls, and his black lips down on mine, and we both seemed surprised as we connected, only for one brief moment. It wasn’t exactly unpleasant.
He broke away first, and I could have sworn he was blushing himself underneath all that paint, and the grim mask. “Ahhh,” he almost stuttered above me, “consider that a kiss to please you, eh? We must have similar lips.” I knew he meant Frater.
“I wouldn’t know,” I said quickly, and blushed anew to my great annoyance. V could be charming, and this irritated me greatly. Would this confounding intruder never leave?
“Oh.” The word came out pleased, I could swear, and then finally, I heard him leave my room in a few confident steps.
“Sorry about your dick,” I had whispered, to no one in particular, as I wiped a smudge of paint off my bottom lip right before it could stain my pillow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mind was brought back to the sallow room by the sound of Copia growling, biting into his gloved fist in an agitated manner.
“Frater?”
“Oh… ah, what, now?” The man was positively frazzled. Meeting my concerned gaze for only a second, he continued to mutter to himself. “It’s all hype…” His sharp shoulders drooped a bit as he began to pace. “It’s over…”
I wanted to sail right over and hug him. “It’s not over, Your Dark Excellency.” Mismatched eyes connected with mine across all the mess, and he smiled the slightest bit, to my secret joy. “You’re the boss here, and you are well-loved. And respected,” I added warmly.
I watched him straighten his back as a grin finally blossomed across his handsome face. “Ah well, if you say so, my dear one,” he announced, wagging his finger in the air as he turned to go and face his computer again, “I will succumb to your flattery…”
“Good,” I said, grinning freely and trying desperately not to blush in front of my boss. I watched him begin to tentatively type, two-fingered as he looked down at the keys. His hand was beginning to pound in a repetitive motion upon the battered board, as if a key were stuck. I was fairly confident that I knew which one it might have been.
I watched Copia begin to frown, and a further warmth rose up into my face as I stared down at my work, trying hard to concentrate. My thumb came up to my lip to wipe away black paint that wasn’t there. Fucking V.