Chapter Text
The cold ladder made her hands tremble as she climbed, contrast to the heat raging within her body. Everything was spinning. The scene replayed in Caitlyn’s mind on an endless loop…. why did I do that? Internally or not, it felt like stepping on an egg. No matter how hard you try to build the shell together, it’ll never be the same. The look in Vi’s eyes… Caitlyn gritted her teeth so hard that the bitterness in her mouth was replaced by the metallic taste of iron.
As she reached the surface, the cold air clawed at her burning skin. It was hard for her to keep her balance. This was not how Caitlyn wanted their last time together to be like, everything slipped through her fingers like they were dipped in oil. The world around her blurred, and Caitlyn shut her eyes tightly. This is no place to cry. Those days are long gone. Just like Vi’s kiss, which now felt like snowflakes on her lips during summer.
“It’s all her fault…”
Jinx…
I had the shot…
Caitlyn could still hear Jinx’s crackling laughter echoing in her mind. Instinctively, she cocked her gun, but there was no one there. It was always the same. The same itch on her neck, the same rise of goosebumps on her arms.
Jinx…
She was the only one Caitlyn dreamed of… a nightmare both in and out of her dreams. A problem that needed to be dealt with. Caitlyn’s head throbbed, and she felt the weight of a stare burning into her back. But she didn’t bother turning around. It was always the same. Always.
Jinx…
That name had taken everything from her. It had torn her world apart, even the one person who had made everything feel soft, safe. In the end, that person had chosen Jinx over her. Caitlyn expected that, but she was not ready to experience it.
Now, all Caitlyn had left was ash and the blood gushing from her broken lips. She jinxed me… “I’ll make her pay,” Caitlyn muttered, her voice trembling with rage. Tenfold She clenched her gun so tightly that her bare, battered hands began to bleed. As if reacting to the blood, the weapon glowed with an intense light, blinding her and pushing the surrounding scenery away.
---
The floor was cold… too cold to feel anything. Her ears rang, a high pitched whine drowning out all other sounds. Caitlyn was grateful she was lying on her back; it was the only thing stopping her from throwing up. As she took in her surroundings, she realized this place was unlike anything she’d ever seen in Piltover or Zaun. It felt alien, unnatural. Humanoid statues, twisted and misshapen, littered the area. The air was sour to breathe.
But something else caught her attention immediately. Someone was lying next to her, a malnourished, unconscious girl with skin so pale her veins were visible. Her blue hair was braided into two long tails that stretched down to her feet. The smell of gunpowder clung to her. A scent Caitlyn could never forget.
“YOU!”
---
The air tasted like tar, not that it was any different from the toxic fumes folks down here breathed every day. Her finger, or where it had once been, throbbed with pain. But she didn’t care. She never did.
“Told ya the show wasn’t over. So why’d you pull the lever?” Jinx said, tilting her head toward the bulky woman beside her.
Sevika rolled her eyes and sighed, brushing debris off her body. “Getting killed was the climax you were looking for?”
“Hmm… maybe. Or maybe not. Guess we’ll never know—” Jinx’s voice trailed off as she looked down at the small creature wrapped around her wrist. “You can let go now, kiddo.”
But the child’s grip only tightened.
“The kid saved your life,” Sevika pointed out, her tone flat.
Jinx sighed, closing her eyes. “Didn’t ask.” The idea of someone saving her was amusing. A faint giggle escaped her lips. Jinxes don’t get saved. They can’t be saved. Opening her eyes brought back the cruel reality.
The little girl looked up at her instantly, as if she could read Jinx’s mind. Her eyes were watery, and the look alone was enough to send a faint buzzing sound echoing inside Jinx’s head, adding to the metallic throb beating inside her skull.
Jinx jerked her arm free, earning a sharp glare from Sevika. “Not gonna play family all day,” Jinx muttered as she picked up Fishbones, or what was left of him. “That’s a whole lotta mess you made,” she said to the skeletal remains of what was once a vibrant rocket launcher.
A piece of Fishbones fell to the ground, hitting the tiny blue crystal that had led to his demise. Jinx bent to pick it up, but the moment her fingers touched it, the crystal glowed insanely bright. A vibrant explosion followed, and before Jinx could process what was happening, her head slammed against the wall, and everything went dark.
---
Mylo’s mocking gaze bore into her.
“Always ruining everything, Jinx!”
Vi’s metallic gauntlet gripped her by the neck, the other fist suspended in the air, ready to deliver a crushing blow. “YOU ARE A JINX!”The gauntlet came crashing down.
“Haha, no one’s gonna save you!” Mylo’s voice lashed at her like a whip.
“You’re not my sister. Powder died along with Vander. All that’s left is a curse. And curses don’t need saving.” Vi’s eyes were cold.
“Yeah, don’t need no saving,” Jinx muttered, replying to the static buzz, but she knew she was answering herself. What followed was an icy slap of cold. Her head felt like a shattered glass cup, spilling everything out.
The voices swirled around her, growing distorted until they sounded like static. One by one, they began to fade, leaving her in the dark. Wait for me!She wanted to cry out, but her mouth wouldn’t move. She couldn’t follow them.
Everything felt cold. Her ears rang like bells in a storm. Alone.
Alone.
Again.
No one is going to save you.
Jinx closed her eyes. The silence was terrifying, but deep down, she felt a strange sense of relief.
But her solace was shattered by a voice, sharp with hate and venom.
“YOU!”
---
Dopamine spread across her body. Pulling the trigger was supposed to be second nature, but the joints connecting her fingers were stiffened. Why is she hesitating? The girl lying on the floor didn’t move; the only thing signaling life was the rise and fall of her chest.
She looked so frail. Who could imagine someone with a physique like hers could cause so much carnage? The brittle-looking girl below Caitlyn had shattered everything in her life so easily.
Everything had gone crashing down, like chaff in the wind. I’ll have to make her feel the pain she caused, Caitlyn thought. She’ll have to suffer, death is an easy way out. But Caitlyn had to do something about Jinx’s agility; it was no news to her body, after painfully experiencing the girl’s quickness firsthand.
Caitlyn pointed the barrel of the gun toward Jinx’s left leg, her fingers massaging the trigger. It took a lot of willpower not to aim for Jinx’s head. While caught in indecision, the girl beneath her stirred and opened her vibrant violet eyes.
That was all it took for Caitlyn to pull the trigger but the girl below her moved faster than her sloppy finger could react.
She missed the shot again…
“No!” Caitlyn fired more shots, but the other girl was lost in the crowd of statues scattered around them. I had the shot but missed it again! Caitlyn cursed herself for letting the opportunity slip past her.
No need to cry over spilled milk. They were both alone, that’s all she needed. A crooked smile spread across her face as the hate and anger she had held back flooded her veins. When Caitlyn thought of all she’d done to get to this moment… maybe, just maybe, it’d be worth it.
Getting a better view of the new scenery, the structures and terrain looked somehow familiar. But those thoughts were pushed away by the frantic emotions terrorizing her. Jinx was lost somewhere among those humanoid statues.
Caitlyn couldn’t pinpoint the exact direction she’d gone, nor could she hear anything moving, not even the faintest of sounds. It was all quiet.
It was like Jinx had disappeared. Caitlyn waited patiently and sharpened her senses; even the slightest mistake would be fatal. She slowed her breathing and listened to her gut, a trick she’d been taught as a novice gun handler. ‘Just find the pull,’’ a distant but familiar voice echoed through her mind.
Instinctively, Caitlyn shot at the twisted statue a few feet from her and it revealed the blue-haired girl, her twin tails bouncing against her legs. Caitlyn despised the color; it was always at the forefront of her mind.
Jinx returned the shot, but she missed by a large margin, like she’d missed on purpose. But it didn’t matter.
“Not hiding behind a steam cloud this time?” Caitlyn said to the girl standing a leap away from her.
Jinx sighed and replied in a rusty voice, “You will be enough.” Jinx’s gun slipped from her hand and rattled on the floor. She looked at Caitlyn with a blank, somewhat tired expression, her hair ruffled. One of her tails was painted red. She’s bleeding.
“What are you waiting for?” Jinx said to the Kiramman.
She wasn’t smiling. That glee wasn’t there, a contrast to the image of her in Caitlyn’s mind. This has to be some sort of trick. That’s her whole thing, trickery.
Caitlyn scanned her surroundings for any traps but saw none. The girl next to her stared at her in a bored, detached manner. Maybe she actually meant it, considering what she’d done at the bridge. That gave Caitlyn a little insight into the type of person Jinx was. But all that had changed. Doing this would give her satisfaction. No, I can’t let her have that! I want to see her writhe in pain!
Maybe then, the weight of hands on her shoulders would lift. Maybe she could feel light again.
“I’m not going to give you what you want, Jinx. I’ve been dancing to your music, playing by your rules all this time! But now, I’m going to make you dance to the awful beat you played for me.” Caitlyn aimed her gun at Jinx’s leg.
The scope moved slowly from her leg to her head, like a bug drawn to light. Jinx’s face came into view, pale, dry, and battered, her dry lips parted slightly with rigid breathing. Caitlyn, for some weird reason, lingered there, her finger moving the trigger slowly backward.
And then—
She felt the ground swept from under her feet. Everything spun, too fast to react.
Someone… something held her by the neck, lifting her off the ground. It was too strong to even mutter resistance. One of the statues was holding her, its hand felt metallic but soft in a worn way. The grotesque statue, with no face or mouth, stared down at her as if judging her. Caitlyn felt an insane urge to let everything go, her hate, malice, self-loathing, love, and pain. It was like trying to hold in a yawn when it was already in her mouth.
It felt like her consciousness was being pulled toward something enormous, like a drop of water in an ocean. Strangely enough, it felt relieving.
The next thing she heard was a loud, metallic screech, sending her five feet into the air. An explosion… she thought. Her ribs broke her fall, maybe they were broken. It felt like it.
But there was no time to check. Giving it less attention might make it less painful. Caitlyn instantly got up, her head feeling heavy. Jinx stood with her gun, the barrel smoking. She was the one who fired it, saving me Caitlyn thought.
The statues around them started moving slowly, as if waking from a deep sleep.
Though she was far from them, Caitlyn still felt a chill in her bones from the inexplicable experience she’d just endured. But Jinx… why isn’t she moving?Caitlyn wanted to scream Run! but the words wouldn’t come out.
Jinx stood there, acting oblivious to them. One of the metallic statues grabbed Jinx, lifting her off the ground with ease. The girl didn’t struggle….it was like she wanted it.
Oh? You want to leave me here? No, I won’t allow that!
Caitlyn leaped forward and grabbed Jinx’s monkey grenade, which had fallen earlier. She aimed for the cylinders scattered a few feet around Jinx, removed the pin, and threw it, hoping it wasn’t empty. “You’re not taking the easy way out!”
What came next was a loud explosion. The next thing Caitlyn realized was that she was falling. The sky was gone, everything was pitch black. The only thing she could see was a tiny dot of light, shrinking the further she fell.
Oh?
---
Dead. If she wasn’t dead, then maybe she was in purgatory. The cold was the only thing that made Caitlyn remember she was alive. The warm fluid caking her back provided mere comfort. Caitlyn tried to move her limbs, but it was futile, the only thing she could control was her mind.
She blinked her eyes a couple of times, only darkness answered. Caitlyn accepted that she’d gone blind. That pinprick of light was the last thing she saw before landing. Funny enough, she felt nothing on impact. Her body had gone numb, and for that, she was grateful.
Even with her eyes open, there was no difference in closing them. She tried to find sleep, but it abandoned her. An escape…Caitlyn’s mind raced, looking for an escape from this anguish.
But nothing came. It wouldn’t be long before her body caught up with the pain, maybe she’d pass out from the shock. Caitlyn ached for anything, anyone…..even though it was a reflex action, her lungs struggled to pump air, making it feel like she was choking. Why didn’t I pass out from impact? Caitlyn thought, feeling her eyes grow wetter than usual.
Vi. That name, that person… Caitlyn wanted to run to her for comfort. But was she allowed to? Not after what she’d done. Maybe this was her punishment being tangled in guilt while trying to create a place of solace in her mind with the person she loved most. Vi’s touch, her warmth, the softness of her lips… Caitlyn’s thoughts went there regardless of the dark clouds hovering over her chest.
A tight embrace, skin to skin, her fingers tracing the ink on Vi’s bare back. Vi’s body heat, her rough hands caressing Caitlyn’s skin. It felt like her soul had left the cold, broken body on the floor, the body that lacked mobility, lying in a pool of blood at the bottom of an abyss.
Vi’s lips ran along the lines of Caitlyn’s neck, switching between bites and kisses. She felt the heat of Vi’s breath at the end of her jawline and what came next was a wake-up call: an icy bite.
Only it wasn’t a bite…it was wet.
The cold liquid slid down her collarbone. A rigid gasp left Caitlyn’s mouth as she realized she could feel again. But the next thing that followed was a loud screech of pain, one that made her pass out.
---
Caitlyn woke up to a thousand needles poking her. She opened her eyes to realize it was raining. The temperature of her body dropped further, the pain spiking. Only her upper half had caught up to the pain; numbness still clung to her legs.
The raindrops were annoying on her face. She tried to use her hands as shields, but the pain was too much, so she decided against it. Compared to the prickling agony in her bones, the raindrops were just kisses. She stayed there for a while before painfully using her elbows as support.
Caitlyn scanned her surroundings, but it was pitch black. Maybe I’m still blind Her elbows gave out, sending her back onto her ribs… her broken ribs.
What followed was a loud groan, then sobs. Why am I being punished? Caitlyn thought. The temperature of the place was dropping, and now Caitlyn wanted the numbness back.
What she’d sought earlier now overwhelmed her. Maybe returning to the numbness would lead to something worse. The pain would keep her alive but wasn’t being dead better than this?
It rained heavily, for hours, or so it felt. Caitlyn’s jaw started chattering when the rain became faint.
The rain had soaked her clothes, mingling with her skin for too long. At least the blood had been washed away, replaced by a pool of water. It felt like she was drowning, her airway struggling to stay above the water. It wasn’t just the cold that clung to her; the water did too, sticking to Caitlyn like oil. Every time she tried to struggle out of the pool, it pulled her back.
Everything was warped by the water. She couldn’t hear anything, just a hush sound ringing in her ears, telling Caitlyn to quit struggling. To accept the cold, the silence, the pain… to let everything flow peacefully through her.
For a moment, Caitlyn gave up and sank deeper into the pool.
It was quiet. Peaceful. The water flooded her lungs, making them heavy while washing away the rest, the blue-haired girl…
Caitlyn closed her eyes and accepted the cold, but her body had other plans; it had the primal urge to live. Caitlyn’s hands moved with the raw instinct of survival, pushing her torso up. What followed was a rigid cough that made her throat sore. She coughed hard enough that her saliva became laced with blood.
Caitlyn crawled out of the pool, with her legs limp behind her. She lost track of how long she had been crawling, and her limbs gave out. Even out of the water, the cold still clung to her. It hurts.
Warmth, Caitlyn’s very being longed for that. Something that was unachievable, but at least she could find it in her mind. Where Vi awaited…
But the first thing she saw… the first thing she felt… was a sharp, throbbing pain in her abdomen. Caitlyn’s legs gave out, sending her to the floor. She let out a pained cry; her chest felt tight. Looking up at the source of her pain.
The only thing she saw was herself. Caitlyn tried to reach out for her, but the other Caitlyn only climbed further up the ladder, leaving her behind in the cold.
Waking up to reality, Caitlyn felt lost. The floor underneath her was cold and soft; it felt like she was sinking. The dirt accepted her skin, pulling her further down to become one with it. All she needed to do was wait. In the cold. That was all she needed to do.
Caitlyn felt pathetic as she started crawling again, plunging deeper into the darkness. What was she looking for? Her head was pounding; darkness still shrouded her eyes. But she kept on moving. The cold, the pain, reached an all-time peak. Caitlyn knew if she stopped, she’d probably die.
So she kept on crawling for what seemed like ages, looking for something lost in the stomach of darkness. Caitlyn’s muscles started giving out, her arms shaking. The floor underneath her became so soft it felt like a bed, all that remained was to stop and lie on it.
That was death preparing a perfect bed for her. All she had to do was stop and lie on it. Instead, Caitlyn struggled, fighting with her muscles, sending electric signals to them. Just keep moving. But they failed her and gave out.
Instead of hitting the bed, she bumped into something. It wasn’t a rock. Caitlyn’s trembling hand traced the outline of the object, it was soft, warm, and human… Her hand went to the arm of the person; they were thin enough for Caitlyn’s hand to curl around it in a tight grasp.
Caitlyn pulled closer to the person in a desperate embrace, seeking the warmth of their body. This person, Caitlyn knew her too well because of the smell that ravaged her nose.
Gunpowder.
Jinx.
Her body was warm. That was all Caitlyn could think of… Jinx’s body was heating up; it felt like a fireplace. Caitlyn pulled closer to the smaller girl, enveloping her completely. Caitlyn was shivering, her teeth clattering together. She bit onto Jinx’s braid hard enough to stop her jaws from moving without her consent. The smell of gunpowder, sweat, and iron gagged her nose, which only prompted her to cling to the unconscious girl further.
Taking in her heat, Caitlyn felt her fingers digging into Jinx’s skin as she pressed the girl against her. Sure enough that her jaws were okay, she let go of Jinx’s bloody braid and buried her face in the girl’s neck to get into a comfortable position. Caitlyn’s face was ravaged by a blazing heat.
It was like Jinx’s body temperature increased greatly after Caitlyn wrapped her cold self around the girl. Beads of water from Jinx’s neck entered touched Caitlyn’s lips, that was parted because of her rigid breathing. The tip of her tongue tingled with a salty and sour taste.
Everything was warm… soft…
And safe.
Caitlyn let out a soft cry, was it in pain or something else. Maybe both… And then she passed out.