Chapter Text
Growing up, you’re told countless things— how to brush your teeth, how to tie your shoelaces, how to write, and read and other things to help you survive and navigate through life. But Soonyoung realizes gradually that they forget to teach you the most important one— how to mend a broken heart. The thing that kills plenty without actually leaving them dead.
As he fixes up another drink for the familiar yet unknown man sitting across from him, he finds his eyes linger on the way the stranger’s hands shake while his head hangs low.
Soonyoung has seen heartbreak before. Having worked as a bartender for a couple years in the past, he has seen multiple cases of heartbroken strangers drink, cry, complain, and find rebounds in the same night. Some skip a few steps, others keep the exact same order.
It has been a year since he officially stopped working at a bar after getting a permanent job though. Today, he was covering a friend’s shift again like he does every now and then. Who knew he’d end up across this stranger again.
“Here’s your whiskey,” Soonyoung says as he slides the glass towards the man, sitting in silence and staring at his shoes on a Tuesday night again — if Soonyoung isn’t mistaken, he met him the first time two weeks ago on the same day. The skin crawling curiosity fills him with deja vu.
The stranger nods his head in appreciation before his hollow eyes fall on the glass. He might look lonesome, but there is something about him…
“You’ve been here before,” Soonyoung starts, just because the bar’s almost empty and it’s usually slow on weekdays anyway. “Haven’t you?”
The man first lowers his gaze to the floor, his slender finger that was circling the rim of the glass halts, then his swollen eyes meet Soonyoung’s. Something is so empty, so lonely in them, it paradoxically leaves his insides full. He has never met someone whose eyes spoke before their mouth did.
‘I don’t want your pity conversation.’ His gaze spoke, but his mouth said, “A few times.”
Would it be rude to continue to pry? Soonyoung didn’t wait long enough to ponder. “I think I served you last time, about two weeks ago?” He chatters, and smoothly with a smile, offers, “I’m Soonyoung, by the way.”
The man in front, with his perfectly set hair, loosens his necktie a little in hesitation before he looks him in the eye once more and holds his gaze for a while. “Jihoon.”
Before Soonyoung can say anything else though, he is watching him down his drink in one go even though it clearly stings, and without a word collect his things to leave without a single glance back.
Jihoon. Soonyoung repeats in his head. Jihoon.
At least he knows his name.
Strangers come and go— that’s what they’re supposed to do. Some talk to him, some choose to remain silent and Soonyoung doesn’t mind any of it. Most are ordinary days, nothing about them intrigues him. Nothing makes him want to talk to them first, especially not make him share his personal details. He never has the thoughts of entertaining any customers out of the bar setting so his actions were quite surprising from that day.
He snapped himself out of it immediately after that though. Soonyoung can’t be going around sharing things with some drunk stranger anyway. It’s not safe and he knows it better than anyone.
A month passes by in a flash. His friend, Seokmin— that theatre freak, often begs Soonyoung to cover his shift every now and then. Everything is mundane, as it should be and Soonyoung doesn’t expect it to change. Quite frankly, he doesn’t mind tending the bar every now and then, he gets free meals while also earning some extra cash.
Everything is ordinary. Boring. Well, that is until Jihoon shows up again, a month later; on a Tuesday again. Soonyoung doesn’t notice him at first since he was busy wiping the counter after some woman spilled her drink and her boyfriend was trying to get her to leave.
It’s when he hears the familiar, “Whiskey, please.” that he turns to find the mystical stranger sitting on his usual spot on the very right corner.
“Coming right up,” Soonyoung responds, finding his gaze lingering at the way Jihoon has the shirt sleeves rolled up tonight and his necktie is already crooked unlike the other times.
After serving the man with the drink, Soonyoung watches him closely. Because there’s nothing else to do, or at least that is what he tells himself.
“Quit staring.”
Soonyoung snaps out of it, feeling a little embarrassed after getting caught. He gently puts down the glass that he had been cleaning for the last two minutes. “You don’t seem like the Whiskey kind.” He says.
Jihoon looks up at him. Tonight, his eyes aren’t quite swollen but he looks drained. His attire is still professional. Does he come to drink after work?
“What does the ‘Whiskey kind’ look like?” He asks, there's a bite in his voice that makes Soonyoung immediately want to apologize.
“Didn’t mean to press a nerve there.” Soonyoung replies, “What I meant to say is; You don’t seem to like whiskey yet that’s the one you always pick.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Come on, I’ve been working at the bar for quite some time. Give me some credit.”
“Credit for being completely wrong?” Jihoon’s gaze is challenging and honestly, Soonyoung prefers to have that rather than the nothingness.
He huffs out a smile and starts making another drink without a word. Jihoon also goes back to sipping on the whiskey in silence.
“Here.” Soonyoung slides a glass of cocktail in front of the shorter man.
Jihoon looks up at him with hollow expressions and passes it back, “I didn’t order this.” His voice sounds bored, yet stern.
“I know.” Soonyoung slides it towards him again. “Try it.”
The man in front sighs, gives the glass a long stare before finally taking a sip. Soonyoung watches closely as his expressions shift from somewhat annoyance to pleasure but he schools them quickly out of pride.
“Negroni,” Soonyoung informs with a proud smirk.
“I don’t like it.” Jihoon replies. Liar.
He just shrugs in return, “It’s on me then.” With that, he moves to the other side of the bar to tend to another man who had just entered.
Soonyoung rarely covers the weekend shifts for Seokmin, most of the time his friend only needs him on the weekdays. It works for both since his friend doesn’t end up losing too many work hours because weekday shifts are smaller and as for Soonyoung, they basically have no crowd.
One thing Soonyoung missed about having his job as a bartender was observing people. Sure, it got exhausting when a fight broke out and drunkards made a mess that he had to clean up, but it came with new faces and endless interesting stories. Now, at his corporate job, all he gets to do is stare at his computer screen and at the faces of the same old people. So yes, he doesn’t mind coming to do some extra work at a job he used to enjoy without the cons.
It’s sometime later when he hears Jihoon again that he walks towards him to listen to what he had said.
“Want another...” Jihoon slurs a little and his eyes are a bit droopy when he looks at him.
Soonyoung noticed that he had finished both the drinks. “Are you sure?”
Jihoon nods, “Give me that… Ner-? Norgo-?”
Soonyoung holds himself back from chuckling. Cute. “Negroni?”
The man in front nods aggressively. “Yes, please.”
“Knew you were a gin guy.” He lets himself chuckle, “I bet you’ll like something with red wine too.”
“Mmm… Red wine...” Jihoon hums with his eyes closing, his cheeks are already flushed.
Probably shouldn’t have given him mixed alcohol. He thinks.
Soonyoung smiles nevertheless and starts to fix him another glass of Negroni. It’s a cocktail so it isn’t supposed to hit that fast but Jihoon was already drinking Whiskey, which probably affected him more.
“You know,” To his utter surprise, Jihoon starts, “You were right. I fucking hate Whiskey.”
“Why do you drink it then?” Soonyoung entertains him. Pleased that the mysterious handsome is finally opening up to him but it’s also laced with guilt.
“Some things…” Jihoon lowers his head running his slender fingers through his short hair. “You do some things… even when they don’t make sense.”
That doesn’t make sense. He thinks ironically, and so he voices it, “I don’t understand.”
“I’ve been drinking Whiskey since I started… I should stick to it.”
“I don’t get it. If you don’t like it anymore, why torture yourself?”
“I do…” Jihoon says, then mumbles, “I am supposed to like it.”
“Maybe your taste changed.” Soonyoung offers him the Negroni, “It’s okay to try something new every now and then.”
He knows the conversation isn’t about drinks at all anymore but still, he says, “Like I said, you don’t seem like a Whiskey guy anyway.”
And it’s true, Jihoon tends to get drunk by the end of the first glass, it’s better if he sticks to cocktails.
“What do you like?”
“Hm…” Soonyoung pretends to think before he delivers with a smirk, “You?”
Jihoon immediately chokes on his drink and Soonyoung rushes to offer him a glass of tap water in case he needs it.
“Sorry, I didn't think it would get such a reaction.” Soonyoung apologizes with a sheepish smile, “I was just kidding.”
Jihoon downs the glass of water, a little more stable than before. If he’s being honest, Soonyoung had been an idiot to try and flirt with the man, knowing he adorned a band on his ring finger.
“Don’t do it again.”
“Were you that appalled by it?”
Jihoon hesitates before responding, “I’m engaged.”
“Oh, that’s better.” Soonyoung sighs dramatically, “Thought you were married.”
“Is that your hobby? To hit on married strangers?”
“Not really,” He smiles wide this time, “Just you.”
“Drop it.”
“Sorry,” He laughs in response and does as he’s told. “Don’t worry. I’m not interested in becoming a homewrecker.”
Cute — the way Jihoon’s ears turn red and he tries to cover the flush behind quick remarks. His shyness behind the false rough demeanor... Which lucky son of a bitch bagged this man?
“Not unless you want me to.”
“Don’t you have something else to do?”
Soonyoung looks around the place and Jihoon follows his gaze. There are barely three tables filled with people eating food with some drinks while old jazz music plays in the background.
“Unless you want me to go on the stage to sing, I don’t think there’s much for me to do around here.” He says, chewing on a peanut. “And let me tell you, I’m as good as nails on a chalkboard.”
Jihoon responds with silence and Soonyoung, being the nosy man that he is, takes it as an invitation to keep going. “So, what do you do for work?”
“You’re not going to give up, are you?” When Jihoon asks, Soonyoung responds with a smile. “I work in an IT company. Same old stuff— software engineer.”
“You know what they say about software engineers…” Soonyoung starts again, the teasing tone of his voice apparent enough but Jihoon doesn’t catch on yet.
“What?”
“C’mon, you know this.”
“What?”
“Nobody called you a bottom because of your job before?”
If Jihoon was red before, he was crimson now. Because of embarrassment or anger, Soonyoung couldn’t tell and quite frankly, he was too busy chuckling to notice.
“Are you a dick to everyone?” Jihoon downs the rest of his drink.
Soonyoung winks, “Giving you special treatment, of course.”
That’s enough for Jihoon to start making a move to leave. Soonyoung chuckles and in an attempt to make him stay, he grabs his wrist. “Hey, I was just messing around.” Jihoon’s gaze flickers from his wrist to Soonyoung. “Stay. Promise I won’t be a dick again.”
The shorter looks at him with a scrutinizing gaze, not trusting his words. And he shouldn’t, yet he sits down.
Soonyoung beams, “How about I make you a martini?”
The next time Soonyoung sees Jihoon is a week later; weirdly enough, on a Wednesday. Seokmin’s play went too well and apparently their whole team was going around a few cities in the next two weeks. Naturally, Soonyoung took his weekday shifts without much convincing and dragged their other friend, Mingyu, to cover the weekends.
Today, Jihoon walks in with tired eyes and a grumpy look on his face that reads ‘Don’t even dare to mess with me.’ But when has Soonyoung ever respected people’s wishes? Only a handful of times.
“Fancy seeing you again.” He greets him with a smile. Jihoon looks worn out, sure, but he looks just as enticing as always.
One thing about the bar is if Tuesdays are slow then Wednesdays are quite literally dead. There were barely five people present and the clock was ticking close to ten.
“Whiskey.” Jihoon orders.
Soonyoung sighs but doesn’t try to argue. They’re practically strangers anyway, he shouldn’t push too much. “Yes, sir.”
Jihoon throws him a bothered look at his words but stays silent like that’s a reply itself. Soonyoung wonders if the other thinks silence is a response to everything.
“I like Sangria in cocktails,” Soonyoung starts as he pours some Whiskey in a glass. “And ironically, I enjoy my Whiskey neat.” He passes him the drink before leaning on the counter behind. “You asked last time what I liked.”
“Ah.” Jihoon nods as if it clicks to him then.
Hearts break in silence, and it’s rare that anyone else ever hears it echo. As for Soonyoung, he makes an extra effort to listen and classify each one he comes across.
A few weeks ago he met an old man, drinking on his wife’s death anniversary and the sound was something akin to tearing of a petal— soft, beautiful, tragic. Then there was a woman in her twenties who had just gotten rejected, and it sounded like shattering of a glass— shrill, painful, angry. Someone’s years of marriage falling apart sounded like a church bell ringing to warn of an incoming storm. There is always a sound, big or small, sharp or soft— Soonyoung can figure it out.
However, when it comes to Jihoon… Silence.
“I sit, and wait for him…” Jihoon’s head is slumped on the counter, two glasses of Whiskey in his system. “But he doesn’t…”
Soonyoung doesn’t know how they got to that point. One moment he was setting up the clean glasses, next Jihoon was talking to him as if they’ve known each other for months.
“Sometimes… Do you know that feeling? When you feel like a dog waiting for their owner to come home? That. I feel like his pet.” He pulls at his necktie, his actions filled with frustration. There’s a loud noise as he slams the glass on the counter. “We bought that fucking ugly painting for him. It’s still there.” He complains, his nose red and eyes small. “I don’t even want it.”
To say that he’s confused would be an understatement but Soonyoung doesn’t get much time to ponder about it.
“Every day,” Jihoon’s eyes are fierce, he didn’t know they were capable of expressing that intensity. “It’s right there . Staring at me.”
“Hey,” Soonyoung tries, “I think you should go home.”
“To get tormented by it?”
He finds himself at a loss for words. Unhelpful.
“I’m going to throw it out.” Jihoon grumbles in his drunken state, “I will throw it out.” He sounds so determined as he nods his head. “Fuck that painting.” Then he looks at Soonyoung, as if looking for an answer. His eyes filled with so much expectation, “Right?”
Soonyoung wants to laugh because again, Jihoon is quite adorable but he doesn’t. Instead, he nods his head, “Definitely. Fuck that painting.”
“Fuck it.” And it’s the first time that Jihoon sounds anywhere near happy.
After that night, the spark of curiosity turned into a raging interest.
The next time Jihoon visited the bar, only a few days later, Soonyoung was not expecting him to slam his palms on the counter and demand him to forget about everything that he had rambled about. Soonyoung had just agreed and pretended to have already forgotten but then… Jihoon got drunk and started to ramble again . Only this time, he was complaining about the curtains and bedsheets and dishes— Basically everything. How nothing in the apartment was his choice and that he found it so repulsive, he didn’t want to live there anymore.
Soonyoung wondered where Jihoon’s partner was. He assumed the fiancé was on a trip since Jihoon never mentioned him but Soonyoung also never asked. He liked to listen to the man’s frustration while making him new drinks— somewhere along the way, Jihoon had started to accept them without much convincing. It seemed like Jihoon needed someone to hear him. That’s what most drunk strangers do when they spark a conversation with the bartenders anyway. That, or they’re looking to hook up and it was clear that Jihoon wasn’t looking for the latter.
He knows this because Soonyoung never stopped himself from flirting with him but the only response he got was a flustered cough, silence or later, an eye roll. It seemed like Jihoon started to understand that Soonyoung didn’t mean any harm by it.
The twenty-five year old, Soonyoung had learned, was lonely. If he had to provide a visual, he would simply ask you to imagine Jihoon in a dark empty forest with masses to run but nowhere to go. In the past two weeks that he saw Jihoon, he could tell the man was also contradicting his own thoughts. When sober, he wouldn’t talk much. One drink in, he starts talking about missing his partner. Two drinks and he’s cursing everything. Three, and he’s almost on the verge of crying.
Part of Soonyoung doesn’t want Seokmin to return to his job anymore. He wishes their theatre would extend the tour so he could just stay here. Because, whether he liked to admit it or not, Jihoon had started to visit the bar almost every day in the last week.
Alas, Seokmin returned that Sunday with a thrilling smile and called Soonyoung out to treat him to a meal. Needless to say, Soonyoung did not enjoy the free food for the first time in his life and kept hoping Seokmin would tell him he’s leaving again.
But the world doesn’t work in your favor all the time, does it?
On his way home, his phone rang with an unexpected call, though. “Aren’t you supposed to be working?” He questioned, the cool night air softly breezing past him.
“There’s a guy here…” Mingyu says from the other end. “Short, dark hair, glasses–”
“Jihoon?” Soonyoung halts, and his heart contradicts the action. “What about him? Is he okay?”
“Okay, wow.” Mingyu huffs. Strangers continue to walk past Soonyoung. “Firstly, I don’t know his name, but he keeps asking for y— Wait, never mind, I think he just left.”
“What do you mean he left !?”
“Dude, what was I supposed to do? Keep him from leaving?” Mingyu sounds genuinely taken aback by his strange behavior, and Soonyoung doesn’t blame him. “What’s going on here?”
“Nothing.” Soonyoung sighs, and when he looks up, the cloudy sky stares back at him. “Call me if he comes back.”
“Does he owe you money?”
“Something like that.”
Lie.
There are times in life when you just know, and there are times when you ponder, and ponder, and ponder, but the conclusion looks like the last train that you’ve missed leading to the destination where you want to be. That’s how Soonyoung feels— stranded on an empty train station at midnight with nowhere to go. What is he supposed to do now that Jihoon has opened up to him but he no longer has the means to reach him?
Should he go back to working part-time there? Or, should he accept being a creep and hang around the bar every day in hopes that he shows up? Maybe he should accept reality and let him go…
It takes him two days to come to a conclusion, and unfortunately for Soonyoung, when he shows up on Wednesday, there’s no sign of Jihoon anywhere.
Dejected, he tries again on Thursday, and he’s met with disappointment again. Seokmin starts to grow suspicious of his weird behavior, but he’s not unfamiliar with Soonyoung’s antics and lets it slide.
When Friday comes and he finds the man nowhere, Soonyoung starts to get a little worried. Without a second thought, he rings Mingyu. “What did you tell Jihoon?”
The jazz music starts to get on his nerves, and people are being too loud. Just because it’s Friday, doesn’t mean the world is ending tomorrow. Why can’t they just—
“Hello to you too, and who?”
“Jihoon.” Soonyoung rushes, “The guy you met at Seokmin’s bar. The one who was asking for me? Glasses, dark h–”
“Oh, him ! Uh,” Mingyu pauses, “I told him you were covering for a friend so he’ll probably not see you again.”
“ Why did you say that !?” He surprises himself with the reaction. Soonyoung wasn’t meant to make it sound like a big deal. Because it wasn’t a big deal… Right?
“Why did I tell him the truth?” Mingyu defends, baffled as well.
“You–You’re so– I’m hanging up!” And he does, in exasperation. What if he never sees Jihoon again?
He hears Seokmin call from the back as he shoves the phone in his pocket trying to bring himself to have some faith. “Soonyoung? Is everything okay?”
“Absolutely.” Soonyoung turns with a beaming smile.
“You know I’m an actor. Your failed attempt won’t work on me.” Seokmin is a weird guy. Soonyoung has gotten away with plenty of lies before, but he believes it depends on when Seokmin wants to call him out on it. “Spill.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Sangria or Whiskey?” Seokmin asks from behind the counter.
A thud echoes in his chest and, “Whiskey.” He accepts defeat.
Seokmin learns about the engaged man briefly and how Soonyoung’s curiosity led him to discover the man’s weighted loneliness. Soonyoung didn’t go into much details, it wasn’t fair to Jihoon who had trusted him with the information.
Seokmin hums, “I’m a little confused here.” He’s working on a drink as he says, “Why are you bothered by it?”
“By what?”
“Not seeing him again.” Seokmin elaborates, “You knew you weren’t working here permanently anyway. You weren’t going to keep seeing him.”
“Yeah, but—”
Like he mentioned before, Seokmin is a weird guy. Once he starts, he does not give you a chance to speak despite him asking you a question. “Yet, you’re freaking out at Mingyu for telling him the truth. Unless you were planning to come here every day to keep him company or steal my job, you would’ve told him this yourself. Wouldn’t you?”
“I didn’t get the ch–”
“No, but why do you care about a stranger so much?” Seokmin continues, passing a drink to the waiter and wiping his hand with a cloth. Then he leans on the counter and looks him dead in the eyes, accusing. “Is it really a curiosity?”
“You’re not making any sense.” Deflect .
“Is this guy attractive by any chance?” Charge .
“Why does it matter?” Defense .
“Answer the question.” Seokmin commands at last. “Do you find him attractive?”
Soonyoung coughs and finds himself staring at the shelves filled with alcohol instead. “He’s alright.”
“Lies.”
Soonyoung meets his gaze in challenge, a little annoyed by him. “He’s cute.” Bullseye.
“And married!” His friend’s tone is scolding.
“Engaged.” He corrects, “It’s not like I’m doing anything about it. He doesn’t like me.”
Seokmin looks flabbergasted at his statement as he reaches to grip Soonyoung’s face by the chin. “Why do you look like a kicked puppy right now? Look at yourself! Did you actually go and catch feelings for a married man?”
“No?!” Soonyoung pulls away in irritation.
“Why is that a question?!” Seokmin leans toward him to yell as he notices someone approaching.
“Leave me alone!” He stands up from the stool, ready to leave.
“Great. Now you sound like a teenager with a crush!” In response, Seokmin receives a quick middle finger before Soonyoung leaves the bar altogether.
Seokmin’s words might have put a few things in perspective for him. Soonyoung thought he had a tiny crush on Jihoon, which was harmless and okay. Turning twenty-seven later this year, he has come to understand the conceptual difference between crush, love, and lust. How things play out in dating and what the modern generation calls “situationship”. Although he was far from the two, Soonyoung knew this wasn’t just a crush anymore.
When you put worry, care, and fear into the formula, it could be called what Seokmin named as “catching feelings”.
Soonyoung shakes his head abruptly in denial. It cannot be. He never catches feelings for anyone, and his job required him to meet strangers every day. Sure, he flirts— at this point, it’s only nature. Sure, he finds people attractive, and sure, sometimes he indulges himself and has a one-night stand. Once in a while, he goes on blind dates, too, but then again, he never likes them.
Surely, Jihoon was just a curiosity— an adorable one at that.
So what if he found himself reciprocating his smile with fondness, and what if he cared about Jihoon going to bed sad and alone, and it kept him up at night sometimes? It doesn’t matter. What he wanted was for Jihoon to not feel lonely— for Soonyoung to be there when he needed a shoulder to lean on or someone to hear him.
Because Soonyoung knows what it’s like to not be heard in a world that makes so much noise.
Just like that, a week goes by with Soonyoung not coming across the shorter man and it starts to feel a little ridiculous. Why did he care so much if Jihoon was okay? Why does it matter if Jihoon bought a new pan or not because he kept burning the omelet on the one he already has? And what in the world does he have to do if Yunha from Jihoon’s workplace annoyed him again or not? Why does he want to know if Jihoon called back his old friend who kept trying to reach him?
Most of all, he wondered if Jihoon was sleeping well, if he ate proper meals, and whether his stupid fiance had returned from wherever he had gone.
It was two weeks later. Soonyoung had willed himself to forget Jihoon but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get the man with a smile that resonated a stingray out of his mind. He had almost given up the hope of ever seeing him again when one Tuesday night, Mingyu’s call rang in his quiet apartment.
“What’s up?” Soonyoung puts him on speaker and drops the phone on his chest.
“I’m at this bar on Insadong. You know, Time?” Mingyu informs as if it’s of key importance that his friend knows his whereabouts.
Soonoyung hums in response, supporting his head on his palm. “What do you want me to do with that?”
“Does that guy still owe you money?”
“Who?” Soonyoung asks lazily, his thoughts still trying to make sense of Jihoon and everything that he brought along.
“That dude from Seokmin’s bar, man.” Mingyu explains.
It’s not long before it clicks to Soonyoung and he kicks at the blanket to sit up. “Jihoon? What about him?”
“He’s here.”
“He’s there?”
“Yeah, I thought I saw him sitting in a corner so I checked.”
“And?”
“It’s him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Dude, you’re creeping me out.” Mingyu says, “Anyways, let me know if you want me to hold him until you get here.”
“No, no, you don’t need to do that…”
“Okay, but you are coming, right?”
Now there’s two things he can do: Be a creep and go to the bar, and act like a normal human being and not scare a poor guy by showing up like a stalker.
“Mingyu,” Soonyoung calls.
“Yeah?”
“What did he order?”
“What?”
“What is he drinking?”
“Uh… wait,” Mingyu is gone for a few seconds before he returns, and Soonyoung holds onto the lingering hope, “I can’t tell, man.”
He groans, “Is it Whiskey or not?”
“Definitely not a Whiskey.”
Soonyoung is on his feet in a split second. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”
The bar is crowded and noisy. Soonyoung shoves his fists in the pocket of his jacket and makes a beeline for the bar. Heart thudding harshly against his ribcage as nervousness creeps in. What exactly was he planning to do by showing up? He must have lost it, for real this time.
Before he can think too much, his eyes lock in on a familiar back of a head, and his body noticeably relaxes. Soonyoung quickly makes an attempt to fix his blonde hair and takes the empty seat next to the man. Jihoon doesn’t even care to look. His eyes are set on staring at the drink in his hand, deep in thought, as they were when they first met. His hair is a little unkempt which is unlike him, and his glasses hang low on the bridge of his nose.
Soonyoung taps a finger on his shoulder cautiously. The moment Jihoon faces him, he puts on his best smile, “You come here often?”
It takes the shorter man a moment to register reality. He blinks his eyes a few times, then shakes his head slightly as if trying to snap himself out of it. “Soonyoung?”
“You rememb–” Soonyoung doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence when he notices Jihoon’s eyes welling up and his nose turning a tad bit red. “Hey? You okay?”
Something squeezes in his chest when Jihoon shakes his head, clearly trying to hold back the tears. “I’m- I don’t know why.” He sniffles, pulling at the sleeves of his denim shirt and wiping his nose. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“It’s okay, you can cry.” Soonyoung places a hand gently on his shoulder, bringing another to wipe his tears softly. What he wasn’t expecting was for Jihoon to lean into his touch. It makes his heart stutter. “I-I’m here.”
Soonyoung still can’t figure out the sound of Jihoon’s heartbreak, but what he can hear is the noise his own heart is making, telling him to run because what lies ahead is not the path he should take.
“It’s been six months,” Jihoon says in a small voice, his forehead leaning lightly on Soonyoung’s shoulder, and he almost misses what the other is saying. “They said three, but… It’s been six.” Soonyoung can’t make sense of what he’s hearing, but the pain in his voice makes him waver anyway. “I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired…”
Jihoon starts to sniffle again as he grips Soonyoung’s jacket tightly, and Soonyoung finds himself standing up to move closer to him.
“I don’t think I can do this… anymore… b-but every time his parents call… I feel responsible for it. As if- As if I put him through all that, and I should take care of him. Why do they think I can take care of everything… alone?”
Soonyoung can’t offer anything to the weeping man except provide a little warmth, so he lets Jihoon hide himself in his jacket and runs his hand on his back gently, hoping it doesn’t make him uncomfortable. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”
“Do I have to keep doing this?” Jihoon looks up at him suddenly as if expecting an answer, his eyes puffy and his nose already red.
Soonyoung doesn’t know what to say because he doesn’t know the whole thing, and it’s not like he can make the decision for Jihoon anyway, so he sticks to wiping his soft cheeks again.
“We don’t even know if he’ll wake up.” The words make him freeze in place . Did he hear that right? Jihoon seemed to have noticed his reaction and added, “He’s in a coma.”
“Oh.” For a moment, Soonyoung can only stare at the other’s face, trying to put the pieces together— Why Jihoon visited the bar so often despite having a partner, why he complained and cried; the loneliness. More than anything, he realized how much worse Jihoon had been struggling alone all this time.
“I’m here for you.” He says the first thing that comes from his heart and means it. “I promise.”
“I thought I'd never see you again.”
Jihoon shouldn't be saying these words to a man who's already growing weak for him, yet he does, and Soonyoung can't tell if he realizes the impact it has on him.
“How could I let that happen?” Soonyoung smiles softly, ignoring the way his heart skips a beat. “Didn't I tell you I'll be here?”
“I don't even know anything about you, but you're so nice to me…” Jihoon mumbles, and his voice sounds like it's filled with guilt.
“Hey, you know me.” Soonyoung starts, “I'm Soonyoung, the annoying bartender who won't let you drink Whiskey in peace.”
That, for some reason, makes Jihoon break into a smile. “You know, I tried Negroni at so many different places.”
“You did?” For some reason, he feels proud.
“Yeah,” Jihoon nods, “You have a different recipe, don't you?”
“Why? Was mine bad?”
“No,” Jihoon shakes his head slightly— an adorable drunk habit Soonyoung has noticed. “Yours was the best.”
“Can you say that again? I want to get it on camera.”
Jihoon breaks into beautiful laughter, holding his stare as if sending it straight to engrave it in Soonyoung’s heart. He stops soon after and sounds a little hesitant when he says, “My head hurts. I think I’ll go home.”
Soonyoung’s smile drops immediately, “Oh.” He hadn’t thought Jihoon would want to leave so soon, but he bid him goodbye. “Yeah, get some rest.”
There’s a pause before Jihoon starts to say, “Do you-”
“‘Young!” A familiar voice interrupts with an arm around his shoulder. “Why didn’t you find me?”
“Oh, ‘Gyu,” Soonyoung greets the tall man, “Told you I’d be near the bar.”
Mingyu, the handsome fucker, must be drunk because he takes a look at Jihoon and checks him out right in front of his eyes as if he hasn’t met him before.
“Hey,” He says in that flirty tone that Soonyoung has heard one too many times while acting as his wingman.
There's a rumble in his chest that comes out in the form of a scolding tone, “Drop it. He’s taken.”
“Ah,” Mingyu backs off immediately, looking back and forth between them. “Sorry, Bro.”
Before Soonyoung can correct his misunderstanding, Jihoon starts, “I was just leaving.” To his relief, Jihoon doesn’t look too uncomfortable and just sends him a smile in return as he stands to leave.
“Wait,” Soonyoung rushes, and Jihoon pauses to look back at him. Mingyu, getting the cue that he’s interrupting something, moves away to ‘make a call’.
Jihoon stands there waiting for him as he hesitates, “Is it okay if I give you my number?” Soonyoung can see him contemplate and waver, so he adds, “Just- Just in case you need someone to talk to.”
It’s not a lie, but he also can’t say that there isn’t an ulterior motive there. After all, it’s not like he came running to see him again for nothing. Soonyoung truly wants to be there for Jihoon, but he also doesn’t want to lose touch with him. He doesn’t want to go back to a reality where he didn’t know Jihoon, yet he didn’t want to force him into it, which is why giving his number was the best option.
Jihoon’s lips form a kind smile as he reaches his pocket to offer his phone, and Soonyoung finds himself smiling wider than anticipated.
Some things are better left unsaid.
Unfortunately, nobody has taught that to Mingyu because the first thing he did the night after witnessing Soonyoung acting like all that towards Jihoon, he went and ran his mouth to Seokmin.
“I thought we established the fact that he’s out of question.” Seokmin reckons while stuffing his face with popcorns, lying on the couch in his pajamas.
“You knew about this?” Mingyu fakes offence, “He told me the guy owes him money!”
This is exactly why he had been avoiding meeting the two. “You both assumed what you wanted.”
“So what now? You’re chasing a married man?”
A big gasp from Mingyu, “You want to become a homewrecker?!”
“I don’t like either of your energies right now.” Soonyoung throws some popcorn at them, it isn’t his apartment so he doesn’t care if Mingyu has to clean later. Serves him right for having a big mouth. “There’s nothing between us.”
Seokmin narrows his eyes at him, “Not what I heard from my source.”
“Your source was shitfaced.”
Mingyu straightens in defence, “The source is present in the room and can confirm that he was, in fact, not shitfaced. Just tipsy.”
“Whatever.” Soonyoung slouches further on the single sofa. “You were seeing things.”
“I witnessed hearts coming out of your eyes,” Mingyu said, as if he were reporting a serious event. “And bro, I saw him linger .”
“I’m surprised you know that word.” Soonyoung rolls his eyes, fully trusting that his friend is pulling his leg.
“I’m serious right now?” Doesn’t look like he’s lying. “You know, like actually lingering before he left.”
Seokmin probably notices the look on his face because he quickly adds, “Soonyoung, don’t get involved with a married man.”
“He’s not married and we are just…” He sighs, “Friends.”
Seokmin comments sarcastically, “Friends who exchange numbers at bars.”
“Friends who want to undress each other.” This time, Mingyu gets a solid kick to his thigh.
Curiosity has led the human race to reach impossible heights, but like everything else in the world, it comes with a cost— the destruction of what once existed. Soonyoung can’t help but believe that his own curiosity has only ever led to the latter. Alas, when his friends remind him of the gravity of the situation, he only gets defensive, which later turns into regret.
Perhaps he should’ve stopped and listened. Maybe then…