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Tommy feels a light kick at the small of his back. He turns to his other side with a low grunt and buries his face deeper in his pillow. He just starts drifting back to sleep when somebody roughly pulls it from under his head.
„Come on, Tommy, wake up!” It’s John, who, from the sound of it, is very much awake. Tommy pulls their thin blanket tighter around his slim body, feeling goosebumps on his skin. „Aunt Polly said you have to get up and go to school. She saw me awake and asked me to kick you out of bed. I’m kicking you now.” His little brother announces helpfully, not like Tommy can’t feel it already.
He grabs John’s swinging leg under the blanket and shoves it away before it would meet his ribs. He opens his eyes a crack and peers at his brother. „I’m quite sure Aunt Polly didn’t tell you to kick me into the middle of next week.” Tommy murmurs in a sleepy voice.
„How do you know? You were sleeping.” John retorts and starts jumping on the rickety bed. The godawful creak wipes away the last remnants of sleep from Tommy’s eyes and he throws his blanket aside, leaving John uncovered in his ragged hand-me-down nightshirt. The little boy squeaks and pulls the blanket back.”I’ll tell Polly you’re mean!” Tommy hears his muffled voice from under his coverage.
He snorts.”And what are you? A little angel?” He dresses as quickly as he can to prevent the cold, damp air taking a hold of him and chase away the last remnants of the little warmth their bed provided.
„Do you want me to bring up the cat to keep you warm?” Tommy asks in a conciliatory voice and risks a glance under the cover.
John suddenly emerges and shakes his head. „She doesn’t like me when you’re not here. I’m up anyways. Have a lot to do.” He dismisses and climbs out of bed to start searching for his clothes.
„I told you to fold them in the evening.” Tommy says in his big brother voice he only uses when he gives a lesson to his younger siblings. He loves being Arthur’s little brother but it’s just as much fun to be a big brother. He finds John’s discarded pants under the bed and hands them to him. „What are you up to?”
„I made a deal with Ada. I’ll play house with her if she plays with my toy soldiers. It’s not as good as with you and Arthur. We should march into war together.”
„I know, and I promise we will. But I have school today. I’d rather play with you than to be there.” Tommy sighs and washes his face by the chipped basin bowl. The water is ice cold but refreshing. John is still rummaging under the bed when he pats his back playfully and steps out of the door. He stops for a moment in front of his parent’s bedroom, trying to detect any sounds that tell him what to expect from Mum today. He knocks lightly on the door.
„Mum? Are you in there?” There’s no answer, which can mean she’s already downstairs or that she’s unable to answer. He hopes it will be a good day.
----
Tommy only finds Aunt Polly and Ada in the kitchen. A bad one then, he sighs and sits down grimly. He manages to sound cheerful when he greets his little sister, but Polly can’t be fooled so easily as a two years old who’s too occupied with her breakfast to pay much attention. Ada is quietly humming as she’s licking her spoon clean.
„Good morning, Thomas. What’s the sour mood for?” Aunt Polly asks as she places a bowl of plain porridge in front of him. Tommy wishes it was summer when they can collect berries to make it more inviting. He dips his spoon into the bowl and starts swirling it before answering.
„Mum stayed in bed.” He answers quietly.
„Yes, she did. I’m sure she’ll be better after hearing that you went to school.” Polly sounds nonchalant but Tommy knows her better than to believe her. „It would be a shame to let that brilliant brain of yours waste away instead of filling it with new information.”
„It’s not like there’s any point of it. Only three years and I’ll work in the factory like Arthur. Dad won’t let me stay in school any longer. Just a waste of time.” He mutters and drops his spoon back into the porridge after a single bite. He has no appetite.
„Thomas Michael Shelby! Stop this self-piteous nonsense at this moment!” Polly says firmly as she turns her fiery glare to her nephew. Tommy looks up at her with surprise. „Education is important, Tommy, because it can get you out of this shithole. Do you understand? You have the wit to achieve everything you want. Your father managed to pull Arthur out of school but your mother won’t let this happen to you. Neither will I or your Uncle Charlie, if she’s not well enough to fight tooth and nail for you. It’s a shame we let him control your brother. You won’t work in the fucking factory for a few shillings only to be taken away and spent on his booze and whores while his children are running around barefoot in the dead of winter.” She snaps, then takes a deep breath to calm herself down. Ada is already looking at her with wide eyes. She gives her a faint, reassuring smile before stepping away from the stove. She sits next to Tommy and squeezes his shoulder. „Keep that in mind. Arm yourself with knowledge so nobody can outsmart you.”
----
Polly’s words keep echoing in Tommy’s mind on the way to the school. He would never admit it to his brothers, but he likes going to to school. Not the school itself with it’s crowded classroom, the constant anxiety about corporal punishment - which he should be used to by now, thanks to Dad - and absolutely not he other kids whom he can’t stand at all. Except Freddie Thorne, his only friend. He’s from a Jewish family, which is almost equally as bad as a catholic Gypsy. But the truth is, he likes to learn new things, and he’s pretty good at it. The others are much slower than him, so he’s often bored and can’t wait to solve something challenging. Even when he has to stay at home and miss school for a while because it’s snowing and too cold in the winter, or Dad beat him too much, or when he’s sick, he keeps up with the class after a few days. But being smart is only a privilege in the adults’ eyes. It only makes the other kids hate him more.
He knows Polly’s right when she says he has to use his brain. But a part of him is already preparing for the day when Dad doesn’t let him go to school anymore and he has to join Arthur in the factory. He loves his big brother and misses spending the entire day together, but he hates the look in his eyes when he goes to the factory early in the morning and the exhaustion radiating from him when he gets home. Tommy just knows he wouldn’t survive it. Not inside. Something in his heart always craves the closeness of nature. He wishes he could work with horses, like when he helps at Uncle Charlie’s yard.
Suddenly, the trail of his thoughts is interrupted by a shove from behind. He stumbles and barely manages to stop himself from falling. He isn’t lucky enough to catch his slate as well, it ends in the mud by the side of the road. He picks it up without a word and carefully starts to wipe it clean with the sleeve of his coat.
„Watch where you step, pikey! You might fall into the mud, where you belong.” It’s George, one of his bullies. He never misses a chance to humiliate Tommy in some way. Fortunately, he doesn’t go further than that for now, just lets out a short, cruel laugh and cheerfully continues his way towards the school.
Tommy sighs, he already lost interest and hope in what to expect from today. If he’s lucky enough, he can survive the day without further insults. But his good fortune usually leaves him between the school’s walls.
----
When he enters the classroom, he tries to sneak into the back to find his seat without drawing attention to himself. He wishes he could sit closer to the stove in the middle, but he knows that’s a privilege he’ll never earn. Unlike others, he waits in silence for Mrs. Changretta to come in and start the lesson. He carefully rubs his feet together to make a little warmth creep back into them. All students are from working class families but he still feels like an outcast. He’s just a barefoot Gypsy boy who lived on a boat until they moved to Watery Lane before Ada was born. That’s all he is, and all he’ll ever be.
He sighs in resignation when the teacher arrives and there’s still no sign of Freddie. He already feels lonely and small at the thought. His mind is drifting away to different directions and he can’t hear the question Mrs. Changretta directs at him.
„Thomas!” She scolds him. „Why aren’t you following the lecture?”
„I’m sorry Mrs. Changretta.” He says guiltily and avoids his eyes from the woman’s stern face.
„Come here, boy. You’ll be in detention for the rest of the morning. Stand here in front of the class and write on the stale why you deserve the punishment.” Tommy stands up and does as he’s told. The way to the front of the class feels like the walk of shame. Mrs. Changretta hands him a piece of chalk and instructs him.
„Write this: I was daydreaming instead of paying attention in class.”
----
Four hours later Tommy feels like his cheeks are burning with shame. He wants to sink into the ground and disappear from the gloating eyes of his peers. He steps down from the footstool with shaking legs and apologises his teacher one more time, as he is supposed to.
„I’m not angry at you, Thomas. I only expect my students to pay attention. You go to school for a reason, and that isn’t staring out of the window.” Mrs. Changretta explains. „I hope it won’t happen again.”
„It won’t, Mrs. Changretta. I promise.” Tommy says and blinks at her. „Can I go now?”
„Wait a minute. There are some things I’d like to talk about. I noticed you’re more withdrawn since your brother left our school. He wasn’t my brightest student but no child should be forced to work when there’s still a lot to learn. Whatever you hear from Mr. Shelby, what you learn here prepares you for life.” She seems to get lost in her thoughts for a few seconds. Tommy wonders why she isn’t punished for doing the same thing he did before. „Is there a conflict between you and the other students? I only see you with Freddie Thorne, otherwise you’re always on your own.” She asks with a scrutinizing glare.
„No, Mrs. Changretta. It’s fine. I just miss my brother, I guess.” Tommy answers sheepishly.
„You know, I have two sons myself. They attended a different school but I’m familiar with conflicts and rivalry between children. As well as brotherly relationships. You have a remarkably sharp mind and high intelligence, Thomas. It would be a shame to waste it away when you have the opportunity to develop your knowledge.”
„I see, Mrs. Changretta.”
„Whatever is going on in your family or here, your focus needs to stay on your lessons, you understand me?”
Tommy nods. „Of course.”
The teacher studies him for a little while before she pulls out her desk’s drawer and takes out a small, brown book. Though isn’t new, it’s the most beautiful book Tommy has ever seen. His fingers are itching to hold it in his hands. To his surprise, Mrs. Changretta hands it to him.
„This book is called Black Beauty. I hear from your aunt you’re quite fond of horses. Well, this novel is about a horse. I’d like you to read it and tell me what you think. Or you can write it down, if it’s more comfortable. I like to lent books from my own library to those children who can’t afford them but I see something in them.”
„Thank you, Mrs. Changretta!” Tommy says with gratitude and the experienced teacher feels her heart soften at the shining of the boy’s unbelievably blue eyes.
----
Tommy is sitting alone on a tree trunk, completely lost in the book Mrs. Changretta borrowed him. He knows it was a mistake to let his guards down the moment George, Matthew and William round him.
"What are you doing, Shelby? I thought crows can't read." Says Will with an evil grin on his face. „Only from tea leaves and the guts of dead birds.”
Tommy doesn't answer, he closes the book and tries to slip past them to go back to the classroom and avoid further conflicts.
„Oi, don’t hurry that much yet! You're not going anywhere, pikey." George roughly grabs his arm to hold him back. "You were so smart again, when we told you to shut up and go back to your fucking caravan."
"You're wrong, mate." Matthew corrects him. "I heard they lived on a boat before bringing their filthy lot to our town."
"Really? Then you're a water rat. Your mother should have drowned you the day you were born. I bet you were a useless mongrel." George laughs.
"Leave me alone." Tommy murmurs and tries to pull his arm away from the other boy, but he knows he already lost. They're much bigger and stronger than him.
"Look, the tyke can talk! We thought you're too stupid to speak."
Tommy feels his heart fluttering, as if it’s trying to escape from his chest. He wishes Arthur was here to help. Or at least Freddie, it’s so much easier to face them with an ally by his side.
"Hey, what you reading?" Will suddenly rips the book out from his hands. „Such a pretty book. How could a beggar like you own something like this? Where did you steal it from, eh?”
"Give it back!" Tommy suddenly finds his voice. "It's Mrs. Changretta's book!"
"Shame on you for destroying our good teacher's property." Will says with false pity. George and Matthew let out a cruel laugh. He rips the book in two and lets the remnants fall into the mud. The cold wind catches a few pages and carries them away. Tommy wishes it would carry him too.
"Why did you do that? It wasn't mine, she just lent it to me!" Tommy cries and falls onto his knees to fish the destroyed book out of the muddy water.
"We can help you find the lost pages." The boys laugh and shove Tommy down to the ground. They start kicking him and he curls into a ball to protect himself. One of them kicks him harder to turn him so he lies face down in the mud. Somebody steps on his back with a heavy boot and he can't get up, can't get out of the mud.
„Back where you belong, Gypsy scum.” William hisses into his ear and presses his face down. Tommy chokes on cold, smily mud as it fills his mouth and nose. He feels like drowning when William finally removes his foot. He coughs and coughs, desperate to get rid of the mud that fills his insides. His eyes are burning from the dirt and shame. He feels tears welling in them but refuses to cry in front of his tormentors.
They only let him go when they hear the bell calling them back to the classroom. Tommy doesn't follow the group of children. He clutches the ruins of the beautiful book about the horse to his chest and stumbles to the well on the schoolyard. He needs to get rid of the mud and try to fix the book. The ice cold water mixes with the tears falling from his eyes as he washes his face. There's nothing he can do with his clothes and he can't go back to the classroom like this. That would be too much humiliation to bear and he would make everything dirty. But he needs to explain Mrs. Changretta what happened to her book. At least part of it.
Yet the thought of waiting outside until school is over and everyone but their teacher disappears is unbearable. After ten more minutes of hesitation he decides he’ll deal with the problem tomorrow. He just wants to go home, clean himself and get held by someone. He barely takes ten steps, when a sudden thought occurs his mind. He can’t go home like this. Mum has a bad day, it would break her heart to see him in his sorry state. Aunt Polly would be furious at the other boys and demand explanation about how it happened. If Dad was home, he would beat Tommy himself for being a useless crybaby who can’t protect himself.
What should he do?
----
„Jesus Christ, Tommy! What the fuck happened to you?” Uncle Charlie asks when he spots him at gate of the yard. To be precise, he yells at him. Tommy understands, he must be looking like a bog wraith.
„I fell.” He mumbles and starts to fidget with his fingers.
„Face front into the mud? I hardly think so. Wasn’t it rather that kind of ’fall’ that happens to you when your father is at home?”
Tommy nods and averts his eyes.
Uncle Charlie sighs and scratches the back of his head. „What the hell should I do to you, eh?”
Tommy says nothing. He should have known he would only bother his uncle. He’s busy during the day. But he always comes here unannounced and it never happened before. He always feels welcomed at Charlie’s yard. Isn’t that what he promised Tommy the last time he was here?
„Wipe that mournful expression from your face, son. I’m not angry at you, you’re the last to be blamed for being beaten or drowned, by the look of it. I just don’t know what to do with this mess.” He vaguely gestures at Tommy’s miserable form and dirty clothes, and shakes his head. „All that fucking mud.”
Tommy timidly glances at him. „I’m sorry Uncle Charlie. I didn’t want to go home like this.”
Charlie snorts. „Aye, I can understand that. Polly would lose her shit just by looking at you. And we don’t want to make your mother sad, eh?”
„She’s already sad. She didn’t get up this morning.”
Charlie extends his hand, which Tommy accepts without hesitation. „Then we must make sure not to make her sadder.” He squeezes the dirty, little palm in his grip. „Come on. Let’s get in the shack to clean you up. I’ll warm some water to wash yourself and your clothes. My stuff will be huge for you but it will do until we wait for everything to dry by the fire. I’ll give you some blanket, you must be freezing. It’s fucking cold today.”
----
Soon after that, Tommy’s wearing his uncles’s warmest sweater and sitting in his wonky armchair with a blanket wrapped tightly around his small form. Charlie hands him a steaming mug of tea in silence.
„Thanks, Uncle Charlie. I feel much better.”
„That’s good, lad. Let’s hope you won’t catch your death after this little adventure. With a little luck, you’ll survive and your clothes dry by the time you’re supposed to be back from school. Maybe nobody will notice anything.”
They sit in comfortable silence for a while. Uncle Charlie never pushes him to speak, that’s one of the best things about him. Tommy could tell an entire list but it’s something everybody else can see as well. He just patiently waits for Tommy to open up by himself.
He doesn’t have to wait for long.
„Why do they hate me so much, Uncle Charlie?” He asks with a sad expression that always breaks the man’s heart a little. „The other kids at school.”
Charlie doesn’t rush his answer. „They’re jealous of you, Tommy, because your smarter than them. You’re just a little Gypsy in their eyes and they can’t keep up with you. You know how people are with our kin. They don’t like us. I guess it’s worse when you outsmart them on the first week.Or they’re just a bunch of evil little shits who deserve a spanking.”
Tommy nods, he remembers the happiness from the first days of school. He loved to be the smartest and make Mum proud. But it only added fuel to the fire of hatred his peers felt. Being Gypsy was bad enough in their eyes. Being Gypsy and smart was intolerable.
„They ruined Mrs. Changretta’s book.” He blurts out. „She lent it to me to read, it’s a story of a black horse, and they ripped it apart and dropped it in the mud. She already punished me for daydreaming when I was just thinking about how to avoid Will, George and Matthew in the lunch break, what will she think of me if she sees what happened to her book?”
Charlie carefully considers the answer. „She’ll understand if she’s a good woman. You tried to take care of her book, you can’t be blamed for what others did. Just tell her the truth.”
„I can’t, they will only hate me more.”
„And what if you make them feel something other than hate?”
„What?” Tommy asks. „The surely won’t like me just because I ask them to.”
„You don’t need them to like you, just remind yourself that you’re better than them.” Charlie gently pats Tommy’s bony knee. „What you need is their fear.” He adds with a scheming smile.
----
The next day when Tommy goes to school the wicked trio is already waiting for him. He immediately feels the panic rising in him but he forces it down. Charlie and he formed a plan yesterday. It must work.
„Look who’s back! The lost lamb of Small Heath.” George exclaims with a malicious smile.” Or shall I say black sheep instead?”
They all laugh at that. Tommy steels himself and tries his best to look confident.
„Just laugh, while you can. My grandmother visited me in my sleep. She was a ćovaxani. Do you know what it means? A witch. She died before I was born, but she keeps coming back to make sure me and my siblings are fine. She wasn’t happy when I told her about you.”
„He’s lying.” William says and looks at his friends anxiously. „He’s a fucking liar, a Gypsy scum.”
„Actually, I’m not a scum.” Tommy chimes in helpfully. „My grandfather was a king among our people. He had great power and when he married my grandmother, she shared her knowledge with him. Witchcraft is our heritage, it runs in my family. I can charm anything. Animals, plants…I could curse you, if I wanted.”
Tommy can barely hold back his smirk when he sees the three boys whiten as ghosts.
„It’s a lie, right? You know it’s a lie.” William still tries to convince the others. Maybe himself, too. They don’t say anything, but their eyes widen when Tommy starts to chant something.
„Čhaje, čhaje barikaňi,
te na lel tut oda paňi.
O paňori tu te lena,
o čhavore del rovena.
O paňori tu te lena,
So, čhajore, de kerena?”
It’s just an old song Mum used to sing to them, but Tommy tries his best to sound as sinister as possible. The effect is instantaneous. William, George and Matthew run as if pursued by the devil.
Tommy chuckles lightly as he follows them with a newfound confidence in his steps. He still has to tell Mrs. Changretta about the book, but even with that in mind, he has never felt that ease in the classroom.
From that day on, nobody harasses Tommy in school. But he will remember their names forever.