Chapter Text
It’s never easy making it to the top. Shadow Milk knew this. He worked his ass off to get to this point. He had to push past everyone who said that he’d never make it, even his parents. That one hurt the most, he didn’t want to, but he knew that they did more harm than good it was the final straw though. He always considered himself as “one who was born to perform” and it shows. He often recalled this one memory when he was little and his school did a stage play, he couldn’t remember which one. But he did get a singing role and on that stage he realized that he wanted to do that. Putting on a mask is easy, frankly he didn’t like to, but knew that he had to. Tis the price of being a idol and he loves his job and fans.
Even going as far as to set up meetup events. Sure other idols did that too, for Shadow Milk though it felt different. It felt more personal, actually being able to meet the people who genuinely loved you and your music, it just had a magic that he could never explain. He rarely answers questions about himself, he always has been a more introverted person and he had to work around it, yet those moments during these meetups where some would pour their heart out or ask for advice on something are memories that he’ll cherish for the rest of his life. And so it brings us to the now.
Another typical meetup event, started at eleven and will end at five. He donned his navy blue jacket with a simple white shirt with a blue tie. He always adored that color. A portion of his hair was tied up, the rest cascaded down the long parts that swoop over his face gave the air of what he assumed was confidence. He called for the next person in line, he brought his hands to the table fiddling with them, but not too much. The next person came up and dear god almighty he’s gorgeous. Neck length blonde hair that looked so soft, light brown skin with a yellow turtleneck sweater and a sleeveless vest that made him look like an angel sent from on high. He froze for a bit before returning to his usual persona.
“I didn’t know I had such pretty fans. Thank you for coming! I’ll make sure to read your letter.” He winked flirtatiously. The man looked startled at the gesture before clearing his throat.
“Oh! Um, actually the letter is from my child, they’re a fan of yours and I came here for them…” That’s when he noticed that he was holding the man’s hand, immediately he pulled away his face turning bright red! God please take me! He quickly scrambled up an apology to try and save himself from the embarrassment.
“Apologies! Ha ha ha…… This is the first time a parent comes to my fan meetup, I’m not used to this! Sorry for holding your hand…” He kept the letter and handed the man back the pamphlet. “Anyway, tell them I said hi!! Hopefully you guys can come together sometime time! Ha ha.”
“T-thank you!” He leaves after that and internally Shadow Milk is screaming at himself. He knew that this was a meltdown brewing but he had to hold it together. He didn’t want a scandal to happen and potentially lose his job. So he powered through with the motivation to make it to the end of the meetup and finally go home. This meetup had turned itself into a chore and he absolutely hated it.
Finally after what felt like years five o clock had struck. He couldn’t have his temper tantrum yet, he needed to get home. That’s what his parents called the episodes, the name stuck even when he learned the actual name. He turned back around to watch his back in case of any stalkers. He never really had any obsessive fans, it didn’t stop him from checking to make sure. The rush hour traffic noise made everything worse, he absentmindedly tapped his finger rapidly on the steering wheel, stopping as soon as he noticed.
Once his apartment had come into view he turned the corner, parked and ran out of the car to get to his room. Once arriving he shed his jacket and tie, hitting himself on his thigh. Rocking himself back and forth whilst crying to himself. It was just one person! Why are you getting so worked up over it!!! He whined and curled himself into a ball. Fifteen minutes had passed and he felt comfortable enough to check his bag, when he froze. The letter, he unfolded it with so much care, and he read the letter. There were a few doodles of his mascot sprinkled on the top and lower corners of the page, he chuckled at that.
‘Dear Shamil,
My name is Crepe. I’m a huge fan of yours, even if my dad says that your music is “improper for your age” and your clothes are “too revealing” for me to see(his words not mine) I still think you are pretty cool!!! The other idols are BORING to me. Anyways I’m going to convince my old man to buy tickets to your next concert, so see you there!!!
With lots of love and appreciation, Crepe!! pd:(I’m sorry for sending my dad to the fan meeting, I had school.)’
The letter almost made him cry all over again. Maybe it was due to the vulnerable state he is in, maybe it was because he had someone so young looking up to him. But still, he’s genuinely touched by it. Mentally he started beating himself up about getting emotional about a kids letter to him. He silently hopes that the kid will be able to convince their dad to get the tickets. Just for the opportunity to see that gorgeous blonde again.
—
Well that was awkward. Vanilla thoughts kept drifting over to that meeting. The idol seemed like he was embarrassed, but there was something else he subconsciously picked up on. He didn’t know what, but it kept bringing up the meeting. The bell rang and Crepe immediately bolted to him. He had grievances with the idol his kid decided to listen to, but he didn’t want to take anything that made his kid happy away, especially Crepe. They were neglected by their biological parents emotionally and physically. So it was when Crepe felt comfortable enough to share something as simple as a music obsession, that made him smile. Mind you he still stands by what he told Crepe, but it didn’t stop them once. And who was he to take his kids happiness because of his own feelings.
“Did you go?”
“I did.”
Crepe flapped their hands and Vanilla smiled at them. “Did he take the letter?!”
“He did, also he told me to say hi to you for him.”
Crepe hugged him and returned the hug. “Thank you thank you thank you dad!”
“Anything for you sweetcake.”
The walk back was filled with laughter and small talk. The ‘how was school’ and homework were among those conversations. Eventually the conversation deviated back to the idol and Crepe talking about he would choose to have complete creative freedom over his music and…“And I think he might also be autistic but I don’t know…”
“Sweetcake how would you know that?” Crepe immediately got out their phone and selected a video of the idol. Their phone was more of a ‘way to contact me incase of an emergency’ than a gift and he told Crepe such when they received it. They got it on their first birthday with him as their dad. “Right there, he’s rocking himself,” he skips to another part of the video, “and here he’s so focused on the puppy that he doesn’t hear the question, and also it’s like a gut feeling.”
“But you don’t know that for sure.”
“Yeah.”
Upon reaching the house, Crepe went to their room to get started with homework and Vanilla began cooking dinner. There’s a fine line to walk when you’re balancing being a doctor and being a single parent, it took him at least two months to find that perfect balance between the two. And he wouldn’t ever trade it for anything. He’d been asked if whether or not he’d settle down, but between his own busy work schedule and raising Crepe he would say that he didn’t have the time but it would be nice.
That idol is kinda cute though.