you look familiar, darling (don't I know you from another life?)

by Siyuris

Summary:

In this timeline, they meet in a bar.
Everything that could go wrong goes right.

Notes:

alternative title: The Virgin Viktor Fic

 

Trans author but the smut is self indulgent lol, both afab/amab words used to describe Viktor.
Warning for a tag "under-negotiated kink": very, very brief feminization that Viktor is super into. It's honestly a barely there moment, also a "blink and you miss it"

The first time Viktor’s eyes fall on him from across the bar, his whole body shivers from the intensity of the returned gaze. Yet, strangely, after two seconds of eye contact they move away as if in shame, his whole body closing off almost as fast as it opened towards Viktor. 

Not that it is of any use, he had already piqued the young man’s interest.

“Who’s that?” He has to almost yell to Vi, who's on bartender duty that night since her fathers had decided to have a lovey dovey evening all by themselves. Viktor thinks it’s cute that they’re still so in love even after so many years, acting like a couple of smitten teenagers, but Vi and Powder make gagging noises whenever he points that out. He suppose he can understand it to a certain degree, as the two men act like his parents too, more often than not. 

He doesn’t necessarily need that at the age of twenty four, but it’s still nice to have someone looking out for him in that way. They didn’t have to help him find his own apartment nor with the funding for his operations, and yet Silco insisted to the point of being overbearing. He knew that Viktor wouldn’t accept the much needed help any other way, damn him for always being so perceptive and right. Viktor really loves him like his own father.

Vi leans his way in a gesture much more subtle than her sister ever would, as she scans the patrons behind Viktor with sharp eyes. He knows the moment she sees the man, her brows twitching dangerously.

“Really Vik? Him? He’s like, what, two decades older? That’s who your virgin ass is thirsting over?” The look she gives him makes him roll his eyes but he can feel himself blush a darker shade of red that has nothing to do with the drink he’s slowly sipping.

“Fuck off, he’s hot. Besides, can’t a man dream?” He grumbles, slightly disheartened from Vi’s comment.

He knows that it doesn’t serve him right to make eyes at the unattainable, like older men in bars, not when he himself doesn’t have to offer much with neither body nor experience. But he just can’t force himself to give the same amount of attention to boys his age.

There’s just always something lacking, always making him quit just before they can get any further than some heated makeout session in the dark corners of pubs. He’s been cursed for that and even punched more times than he can count, even having Vi herself intervene a few times when a guy made a mistake of trying to start a fuss with him when they were in the Last Drop, but still… He didn’t learn. Couldn’t learn, no matter how hard he tries to settle for some good looking normal guy that’s in his twenties, he gets cold feet before they can ever get to anything more serious. 

It doesn’t help how much his friends laugh at him about it, there is no changing the fact that Viktor just can not stop himself from pining for men far older than him, despite having zero chances of holding their interest being a poor, transgender cripple with a really horrible attitude. 

Powder would kick his ass if she heard him talking about himself like that, but thankfully she has not learned mind reading yet, no matter what her boyfriend Ekko might say.

He gets pulled out of his train of thoughts once he hears Vi curse quietly under her breath.

“What?” He hisses, not daring to turn and check himself, but he’s dying of curiosity once he sees a blush spread itself up on Vi’s cheeks.

“Well, fuck. He’s like, definitely a topsider, man, I’m telling you this now. And… he has company.” There’s such a weird note in Vi’s voice that he can not stand the tension any longer and turns around to take a look for himself.

And well, Vi’s right, as per usual, now that Viktor takes a closer look he can definitely see it too, the shirt stretched over the man’s broad shoulders is a slightly different fashion than the people from Zaun like to wear. It’s been four years since the official peace between the two cities but the differences are still prominent in the small details.

It’s not really much of a problem for Viktor, who wholeheartedly believes in progress and in the vision of a fully unionized society that they could all become one day, but his heart still sinks a bit.

Because he might be young and idealistic, as Silco often likes to remind him, but he’s not stupid. He knows that the older generation, who remembers fully the pain the two sides caused each other, are not so keen on mingling and pretending that all is good between them. Viktor has never had the guts to try and flirt with someone who was obviously from Piltover, but he steels himself before he can get into his own head too much. 

The man was there, spending time out of his own free will in a Zaunite bar. That had to mean something.

Viktor’s eyes finally leave the man to scan the other half of his table, searching for the company he previously missed, too focused on the handsome stranger. The moment he spots the young woman sitting there he smirks, finally understanding in full the reason for Vi’s sudden blush.

The girl looks their age, with dark straight hair and a pretty face twisted into a nervous frown. She fixes her hair in a gesture that is born from a force of habit rather than a real need to correct any unruly strands, as her hair falls on her shoulders in an almost unnaturally perfect way. She has a short, navy blue dress on, showing off her long legs, and she absentmindedly picks at the hem. 

What’s most important, however, is how she keeps sneaking glances at the bar, where Vi is currently rolling up her sleeves as she takes an order. Viktor sees the way the girl bites her lip and his smile widens so much he can feel his cheeks start to hurt.

He watches as the man rolls his eyes and tells the girl something that makes her blush and then swat him painfully on his arm. The guy grimaces for show and rubs the limb but the shit eating grin looks so good on him that Viktor gets distracted for a moment.

His brain however works at full capacity as he analyses the pair at the table, noticing all the little details of their body language and behavior towards each other, until he’s able to provide a satisfying result for his hypothesis.

He shares it with Vi the next time his friend comes over after finishing with other people’s drinks.

“That girl is definitely very gay and checking you out. I think she’s trying to hype herself up to come over to talk.” He leans over the counter so his friend could hear him better, trying to be at least a little discreet about the whole ordeal.

The faint blush is back on Vi’s cheeks as she straightens up, scoffing at him.

“I think you’re seeing things because you’ve had too much to drink, man.” She rolls her eyes, taking a rag off of her shoulder to wipe at some glasses laying on a drying rack. “You’re projecting because you really want the dude to be single, but you’re too much of a daydreamer. I bet they came here together, picture perfect fucking couple, fuck. Why would a girl like her need any type of hyping up? Did you fucking see her legs? Fuck, why do girls like her waste themselves on dudes like him…” The rest of her speech becomes incomprehensible as she grumbles it under her breath, but Viktor cannot help the laugh that bubbles out of him. It’s loud enough to make a few patrons look his way, and Vi smacks him for it with her semi dry hand. “The hell you’re laughing at, idiot?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Viktor shields himself from the angry flick of her fingers as he smiles widely in a way that immediately puts Vi on alert. “It’s just that… you can be really blind sometimes. For how good you are at reading people, you put your head up your ass the moment a pretty girl is involved.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” She growls at him, but Viktor only arches one brow.

“Ten bucks she’s gonna come over here before the end of the hour.” He holds out his hand, gaze challenging. It’s a bit unfair of him as he knows how competitive Vi can get, and throwing a tempting bet her way is like throwing a starving dog a bone.

“I told you, she’s with that fucking guy, the only reason she would come here is for more booze to be able to stand his boring ass.”

“Ten bucks. Yes or no?” Viktor holds still until Vi stops eyeing his hand with that obvious tick in her jaw and grabs his palm with her own rough fingers.

“You’re a fucking meanace, okay, ten bucks. She has to come over for something other than just a drink request.” She shakes his hand and Viktor smiles more, withdrawing his arm and then turning away from the bar, taking hold of his cane.

Oh, Vi should really know better now than to trust him like that on a bet without any clear rules. After all, she never said that he couldn’t also go talk to the girl himself.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hears her hiss behind him, but he’s out of her reach, maneuvering between the patrons. “Viktor!”

She doesn’t risk yelling after him, not wanting to make a scene and he takes full advantage of the fact that she’s immobilized by her bartender duties. In any other scenario, she’d have him by the scruff of his neck like an unruly kitten, not allowing him to even take a step in the direction of the girl that looks like she was taken straight out of her innermost fantasies.

Well, Viktor cannot have that, can he? If his friend is one thing, it’s stubborn. She’d rather sulk in a corner for the whole evening than take a proper look at the girl to notice how she’s making bedroom eyes at her, ogling the bulging biceps peeking out from under the rolled up sleeves. Vi can be so oblivious to her own hotness it’s almost unbelievable.

Thankfully, Viktor is definitely not above making a small scene to help his friend get laid. Especially when he’s sure he’s right about the girl not being the man’s plus one. At least, not in the romantic kind of sense, as she looks at him like he’s some kind of annoying older brother, despite there being no similarities between them. 

Anyhow, Viktor is a scientist at heart. If he has a hypothesis with enough proof for it to be true, he’s going to check it. Right now it involves two lesbians too caught up in their own heads to act on the obvious attraction, which is a waste Viktor won’t allow. If he’s one thing, it’s bold.

He gets to the other side of the bar with minimal trouble, with only two people stumbling into him which is an impressively small amount for a busy Saturday evening. 

The pair sitting at the table lock their eyes on him when he gets close enough but Viktor refuses to feel self conscious. He tries to loosen the tense muscles of his shoulders and summons a coy smile on his face, sitting himself unceremoniously at the edge of the sofa in their booth, on the girl’s right side. It places him almost right across from the handsome man but he doesn’t spare the guy a glance. He cannot afford to get distracted now.

“Hi there.” He greets easily, hooking his cane on the edge of the table, careful not to spill his drink still held in his other hand. He can see with the corner of his eye the look the two exchange.

“Um… hi?” The girl furrows her perfect brows, her stare hardening. Viktor has to fight off a smirk. “Can we help you?”

“Actually, we can help each other, darling. I come in peace, bearing priceless gifts. Information.” Viktor gets comfortable in his seat, putting his better leg over his weaker one. He drinks in their stunned expressions like it’s fine red wine from Silco’s private collection.

“You… what?” The girl blinks again, dumbfounded. Viktor takes mercy on her, enjoying the show but not wanting to annoy her.

“First of all,” he raises his index finger, “the bartender is single. Second of all, you’re like, really her type. From head to toe, she loves beautiful women like yourself so hold your chin high, you won’t be able to screw it up, I promise.” He raises a glass to his lips to take a tiny sip. “The last thing… Well, don’t laugh too loudly at her stupid jokes. She knows she’s not that fucking funny.”

The stunned silence lasts for three whole seconds before the man in front of Viktor roars with laughter, covering his mouth with one hand as the girl throws him a nasty look.

“Shut the fuck up.” She hisses at him, before she turns to Viktor, eyes sparkling. Oh she’s definitely a feisty one, he notices with delight, Vi is about to have a field day with her. “You! Well, thank you, for what it’s worth, although I have a feeling that you’re somewhat of an awful friend.”

Viktor waves his hand dismissively, scoffing. 

“Please, I’m an excellent friend, making sure other people won’t miss out on the chances life gives them. It’s hardly a crime to just speed things up a little, is it?”

“I would have gotten up to talk to her on my own, you know?” The girl falters a bit at the looks Viktor and the man send her. “Well, eventually.”

“Sure.” Viktor snorts into his drink as he takes another sip and the girl punches him lightly in the shoulder. He likes that playful look on her, he knows that Vi would hate to entertain someone uptight, even for just an evening. It’s good to know that the girl can take a jab. Not so bad for a topsider, he thinks.

“Fuck off.” The woman stands, smiling brightly. The navy dress flutters as she fixes it for the last time. “And thank you, again.”

Viktor salutes her lazily as he watches her walk away, hips swaying as she gains confidence with every step taking her closer to the bar, where Vi stands frozen, mid glass wipe, eyes glued to the incoming girl. Even from his seat on the other side of the room Viktor can see the bright red of her ears.

He hears a deep chuckle and he whips his head back to look at the man, only to find him already staring at Viktor with an utterly disarming smile.

“I must admit, that was a hella impressive stunt you pulled here. I’ve been trying to get Caitlyn to move out of her seat since we got here and you managed to achieve that in under a minute. And now look at her. She left without even saying goodbye!” The man laughs, raising a beer bottle to his lips.

Viktor feels lightheaded as he takes a second to sweep his gaze up and down the guy’s form, mouth dry. This close he notices all the details that escaped him when he was still at the bar, too far to fully appreciate the man’s beauty. 

Tiny crow’s feet and strong nose, square jaw hidden under a rough looking beard. The twinkle of light in his dark golden eyes, the small gap between his front teeth. Viktor wants to lick it and then tangle their tongues together so badly he feels insane with the urge.

What’s even worse is the casual way in which the guy manspreads, pinning Viktor’s attention to his obscenely huge thighs. They’re at least thrice as big as his own, making Viktor want to rub himself raw on them, and he has to uncross his legs to stop the way his cunt throbs for it. He takes a steadying breath to flash the man a small smile of his own the moment the guy finishes his sip.

“Sometimes the push must come from somewhere we least expect it in order to be efficient.” He shrugs one shoulder, analyzing subtly the way in which the guy watches him, waiting for any tell-tale signs of even a glimpse of attraction. Now that he finally got him alone, he isn’t about to give up without trying. Who would pass on a man whose chest stretched his shirt to the verge of ripping? “In her defense, my friend also wasn’t about to make a move. She thought you two were a couple.”

The guy chokes on poorly swallowed saliva, thumping a fist on his sternum, tan face reddening.

“What?! Oh god, no, Caitlyn is like my little sister, and she was very loud about not being into men since the second puberty hit her…” He coughs into his elbow, his embarrassment making Viktor snicker.

“I picked up on that immediately but Vi can be a real doomster sometimes. Don’t take it personally.” He winks at the man and the other opens his mouth just to shut it close after a second, face red. Oh?

Viktor observes how the man bashfully takes a sip of his beer again, tugging slightly at his collar. Another smile slowly stretches his lips.

“I must say, last I remember, the topsiders were way more uptight about proper introductions than that. Are you really from Piltover?” Viktor preps his chin on one hand as he watches with half lidded eyes as the other chokes on his drink again.

It’s the second time he manages to leave the guy breathless in less than three minutes, and the evening is just starting. That’s promising.

“Oh gods, fuck, I’m so sorry, I don’t know where my manners are, fuck. You distracted me, I promise I’m not normally this much of an ass, this is so embarrassing…” The way the older man fumbles with his needless apology is devastatingly cute. It’s like he doesn’t even think about the fact that Viktor could have reached out his hand first, not even mentioning his entrance. It wasn’t exactly a show of impeccable manners…

Regardless, the man offers his palm to Viktor, cheeks a bit warm but his gaze sincere.

“Jayce Talis. I’m sorry for… yeah.” His smile is sheepish again. Viktor doesn’t raise his chin from its place of rest, instead he reaches his other hand for the handshake, holding the eye contact. 

It gets a tad difficult. Jayce’s eyes are like molten gold, and Viktor completely underestimated the effect of their intensity combined with the first physical contact where he feels the other’s calluses on his skin. The quick observation passes his brain, manual labor , and then his brain turns to mush as the other’s fingers squeeze his hand. 

Jayce’s palm is warm, sure. The handshake is firm but not crushing, like many guys like to squeeze, a show of fake confidence. It’s always more annoying than intimidating and makes Viktor immediately uninterested. 

Jayce has nothing to prove here. His physical prowess is visible in every inch of his muscular body, and the years on him give him experience that results in the easy self-assured way in which he carries himself. He’s pleasantly friendly but not overbearing. He is someone his friend Sky would describe as a real man.

With another delicious throb in his groin Viktor is reminded why his young, short-tempered peers don’t do it for him anymore.

“Viktor.” He introduces himself shortly, marveling at the way their handshake lasts a second longer than is considered appropriate and how the man doesn’t break their eye contact.

“Pleasure.” Jayce hums, finally releasing his hand and reaching for his beer again. He sends him a playful smirk over the rim of the bottle. “You were right about me not being from Piltover, though. However I migrated here with my mother when I was a kid so it does not excuse my manners.”

Viktor snorts, his mind still going a mile a minute remembering how Jayce mentioned being distracted by him. He wishes he could ask the other to elaborate.

“I can imagine that it was a looong time ago.” He muses, noticing with delight the slight embarrassment appearing on Jayce’s handsome face again.

“Hey now, you’re making me sound old…” The other sighs, but his expression is still playful. “It’s enough of an ego blow to watch new freshman students come into your class every semester… You can really feel the years down on you then.”

That gives Viktor a pause. He straightens his back, brows furrowing.

“Students? You’re… a teacher?” How to explain the roughness of his hands then? Viktor was sure that what he felt were calluses made of years and years of physical work…

Jayce nods, rubbing the side of his neck.

“I’m a professor in the Academia.” He confirms, and for a few seconds Viktor can’t hear anything.

It takes him back to that bitter feeling from a few years ago. When Zaun was still under Piltover’s heel, and Viktor was even more idealistic than he was now, a young adolescent with big plans and even bigger ambitions. 

He dreamed about Piltover’s renomed Academia and the possibilities it would open for him. About all the knowledge and books that would become his, about the discoveries he’d be able to make with the right equipment and a lab of his own…

Silco warned him to not get his hopes up. He didn’t listen, too caught up in fantasies of becoming recognized for his talent. He sent an application and a resume of his research and waited with anticipation.

The letter he got back was still laying in pieces somewhere on the bottom of his drawer. The words carved themselves in the back of his mind, always with him for the past six years.

Something about an impressive amount of statistics and work done. Something about being very sorry about not being able to accept any more students this semester. And something about the money that could help solve the issues of his acceptance. All of the students had to pay an entry fee, he was no exception. However, an exception could be made for him, if he paid triple the regular amount, so they could find a space to fit him in the class…

He wished he could forget it all. The disgust and misery, as he mourned his dream and future, because of the unimaginable greed of topsider’s. They had to know that someone like him would not have that kind of money, not then, not ever.

He didn’t tell anyone about it. He knew that Silco and others suspected something but they never said anything to him, never mentioned his plans. 

It turned out, one could learn a lot in Zaun too. Viktor didn’t abandon his academic journey, however he shifted the trajectory. He had many teachers, conducted many experiments and studied many books that he probably wouldn’t have been able to find in the fancy Piltover’s libraries, due to their slightly shady origins.

Only around a few months ago did he feel like he finally hit the wall.

There was still more information to be obtained, that he had no access to or was not obvious to him because of his lack of certain parts of education. He was frustrated, restless, creating and destroying his experiments one after another while feeling like a trapped animal. He often thought about the Academy. If things would be different now that the cities were no longer at each other’s throats…

“...Viktor?” Jayce’s gentle voice brings him back to reality and he blinks, focusing on those amber eyes staring at him intently.

“Sorry. I’m…” he hesitates, and then for some unknown reason the truth spills, “I’m just surprised, I guess. You got me thinking about the time I applied for the Academy myself.”

“You studied in the Academy?” Jayce’s eyes get bigger and there’s a beginning of a smile tugging at his lips. Viktor hates the fact that he has to destroy it.

“Not studied, Jayce, just applied. Those were… uh, different times, you know? I did not have the kind of money it takes to get in. And we both know that it was the main criterion, along with me being a crippled zaunite scum.” He cannot stop the bitter sneer to seep through his last sentence.

They sit in a tense silence for the whole of five seconds, Viktor averting his eyes and cursing lightly under his breath. Why did he have to get so emotional about it? That was years ago, and as he said himself, times were different. It wasn't something to sulk about, definitely not to a man who was a fucking professor in said Academia and—

A warm hand slowly encompassing his own makes his gaze snap back up to the guy in front of him, who’s watching him with a wary expression.

“I know it won’t mean shit to you to hear it now, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Jayce’s strong brows are furrowed into a deep frown, his eyes so earnest it makes it hard for Viktor to look into them. 

It’s weird, it feels both good and annoying to hear those words being spoken out loud. Yes, he’s wanted an apology for the unfair treatment even after all these years. He wanted the people who did it to grovel, to beg him to come to them with his wild genius just so he could tell them no just like they did all those years ago. Jayce is… not the one who needs to say sorry, he’s older but he’s certainly not old enough to have any real position of power in the Academia. Everybody knew that the headmaster and his advisers are almost ancient, some of them even belonging to one of those long living species that could get a thousand years old and outlive a regular human a hundred times.

“That’s sweet, Jayce, but it’s not your—”

“I know. But you were mistreated by the place and people I work for, and it doesn’t sit right with me. The thought about how many young talents we lost due to the previous recruitment policy…” The pain scrunches his face for a moment and he finally averts his gaze before he looks at Viktor with new determination glistening in the golden pools of his irises. “Did you know that we now have scholarships for students? The entry fee has also been significantly lowered… And zaunite people are just as welcome as Piltover’s citizens. The revolution reached the Academia too, many chairs in the committee were replaced. Change and progress is possible, Viktor.”

Viktor’s heart is beating so hard in his chest he’s scared it’s gonna bruise his ribs from the inside. The way Jayce spoke… in another life, he would have moved crowds. In this… he supposed his lectures were not easily skipped by his students, and not just because of how easy on the eyes the man was.

Viktor has to swallow because of how tight his throat feels. 

“It’s… Well, it’s good to hear they changed that ridiculous policy. I must admit that I didn’t know about it. I didn’t really try keeping up with anything regarding that, eh, institution after.”

“I can imagine why, yeah.” Jayce’s sigh is deep and there’s a great weight to it. His thumb is still however gently caressing Viktor’s knuckles. It’s insanely distracting and Viktor is anxious to take a deeper breath, scared that it might make Jayce aware of what he’s doing. Because there’s no way that he is conscious of the intimate gesture, he must be heavily distracted by their conversation.

It’s tempting, however. To push his luck, to see if Jayce will answer to something bolder. To see if he’d look at Viktor with just as much hidden hunger as Viktor did. Tempting, dangerous thoughts.

“Would you consider trying, however? To apply there again?” Jayce’s tone is careful and a bit hopeful. His eyes are big and pleading and it’s hard for Viktor to keep a straight face.

“I’m not sure.” He shrugs, averting his gaze to use his free hand to reach for his drink again. His finger plays with the rim of his glass. “I don’t know if I would like to, hm, get a degree and finish my education with a regular route like the one they offer new students. No offence to your job or anything, it’s just boring. I wish I could just… use the Academia's resources. Focus on my own research. I don’t mind taking part in courses and lectures but I wish they could be on an extended level which could help me find the answers to move my own projects further.” He pauses, suddenly conscious of his own rambling, and he sends Jayce a crooked smile. “I realize that my words might sound a bit, eh, egoistical at best. But I’ve already done much work without Academia’s help and I refuse to go their route now, when I’ve already achieved so much on my own. I would not, however, oppose some… help.”

Jayce looks at him with something that can only be described as awe. It makes all of the hair on Viktor’s body stand up, a zip of electricity rolling down his spine.

“No, that’s… that’s amazing Viktor, it’s great you’re aware of the value of your work.” Jayce hurries to assure him, his hand tightening around Viktor’s. Which is really driving him insane, because what does it even mean to Jayce? Is the man really just that affectionate and casual with physical touch? “I think… I think the Academy would make an exception for a really brilliant student, if prompted. We’ve been putting more emphasis on individual growth and progression since the revolution, so it would not be unusual for them to bend some rules to get you on some special scholarship program.” Jayce smiles and Viktor’s throat once again gets a bit too tight to speak.

The vision he’s unfolding in front of him is tempting, like the most alluring and daring of dreams. It mocks him almost like the silver of skin peeking from under Jayce’s shirt; within his arms reach and yet still unattainable.

What if, speaks that traitorous part of his brain, the one that cannot stay quiet no matter how hard Viktor tries to beat it down.

What if you could have it all. Your studies, him. What if you really only need to reach and take it?

Dreams, desires, plans… all dangerous vices for people who live in the undercity. Or at least, it used to be like that since Viktor was but a little kid. Could his fears really be so easy to leave behind?

“That… doesn’t sound half bad.” Is all that Viktor can manage to get out, but Jayce’s grin is blinding. The tiniest of wrinkles from smiling appear on his handsome face and Viktor forces himself to stop the blush already forming on his cheeks. 

A display of such genuine emotions was not something he was prepared to handle, especially from such an attractive older professor he met at the bar.

“Would you tell me what projects you are working on? I would greatly appreciate the insight.” Viktor is grateful for the change of topic. Another warm smile and hand squeeze and then suddenly Jayce releases his fingers, face sheepish as he brings his palm to rub at the side of his neck. “Oh! Sorry, people always tell me I lack an awareness of others’ personal space, damn it… At my age…” He looks really embarrassed with himself and Viktor absolutely cannot have that.

He pockets the information for later and he reaches with his leg under the table to rub his left calf over Jayce’s, which makes the man jump just slightly as Viktor answers him with his own lips turned upward.

“I really don’t mind at all. I actually appreciate how easily you offered me comfort. Not many gentlemen like that out there.” He smirks when Jayce chokes a bit, his eyes glued to Viktor. The younger one decides to switch the topic back to safer ground. His mind however is buzzing, Jayce’s reaction popping up new questions and observations to fill his mental notes about the man. “To answer your question, I’ve been mainly working on two separate projects so far. One of them I submitted to the Academia when I was applying, but it was a very rough blueprint at best. Still good for what I’ve been working with but rather crude. It’s a device able to detect the electromagnetic field around the globe. Are you familiar with professor Heimerdinger’s theory about the invisible forces influencing the world? I spent years trying to explore it, and fuck it, I know my essay was good, alright?” 

It’s hard to decipher the look on Jayce’s face. It’s stunned at first, but then his face gets split by a grin so wide it’s blinding.

“Physics, huh?” He asks, and there’s something so smug in his tone Viktor can’t help but smile too, kicking the other’s shin gently.

“You’ve got to be absolutely shitting me. If you’re going to say that this is what you’re teaching I’m going to kick you again, but harder.” He’s smiling, and Jayce is smiling too, and so Viktor kicks him again.

It’s not that hard and it makes the man laugh out loud. He looks at least ten years younger when he does.

“Oh, what are the odds…” Jayce puts his tan forearms on the table to lean his weight on them and Viktor’s eyes flick to the muscles straining against the sleeves of his dark green shirt. He’s quick to compose himself before his gawking becomes inappropriate. “What about the other one? Hope it’s nothing directly related to math, because you’ll be quick to learn it’s also my area of expertise. Do I have to be kicked for that too?”

“Yeah.” Viktor quips, just to be difficult. This time however it’s less of a kick and more like an affectionate nudge. Jayce still grins. “But no, it’s not related to math, despite how much I am interested in the fact that you teach both.” Viktor reciprocates the smile but averts his eyes, suddenly nervous. “It involves a bit of biology, a bit of chemistry… It’s personal. Something I’ve been working for… my people.” He finishes carefully, regarding Jayce from under his lashes to assess his reaction.

There’s only that smile, kind eyes, slightly uneven lips stretched upwards. No judgement, no wariness, no tension at the mention of “his” people. 

Oh how much space and gentle encouragement he’s given to talk about his most important project, one that would change the lives of so many zaunites for the better… 

Plants that could filter out the Grey, where the remains of it still linger. The growth and rebuilding of the undercity is a slow process, many people still live in poverty and really bad conditions. That’s how Viktor grew up, and so he will never turn his back to the suffering the families experience. He doesn’t have the money to change their life, but he has something else. The flowers he’s working on… he knows that they could make a difference. A huge one. He just lacks the equipment to test it properly… 

It’s a heavy and slightly saddening topic. Viktor doesn’t want to dwell on it now, when he has a ridiculously hot man in front of him, hung on his every word. He knows that Jayce would listen, that’s not an issue. It’s just… not how he wants the night to go.

He gets up to swiftly move around the table and slide on the worn leather seat next to Jayce, whose eyes never leave Viktor, big and curious. There’s tension in him too, one that doesn’t budge when Viktor offers a coy smile and puts his hand on one of Jayce’s forearms, squeezing lightly, just to see if he can get away with it.

“Got a pen on you? I have the schematics memorized…” He trails off, his fingers releasing his hold on the man to lightly scratch at his arm, as if absentmindedly. 

His heart is beating fast as he observes Jayce’s throat move as he swallows, but then he flinches slightly as if suddenly awakened. He scrambles to pat his pockets and then he produces a simple dark pen with a triumphant smile.

“Ha! Of course I do, I need to write down inspiration when I get it… here.” He offers it to Viktor who takes it from him graciously and reaches for the lonely napkin laying next to his drink.

“So, as I already mentioned, the base for all of that was Heimerdinger’s theory…” Viktor starts doodling, his voice steady.

He starts with a mission to impress Jayce with what he believes to be the solid effort of years and years of research. He needs it to go smoothly so the man would have no choice but to find his intellect desirable. He doesn’t have much to offer with his body and Jayce didn’t make any indication that he found him anything but perfectly decent. So. Seducing the man with an academic level of math it was.

Safe to say, Viktor has utterly overestimated himself.

There was nothing casual nor smooth in the way he presented his ideas. He was always a shitty storyteller, too messy and chaotic, and an even worse teacher. Powder often told him so, when he tried to help her with some of her own projects, getting too excited or agitated when his train of thoughts and written down equations went too fast and didn’t match with what point he was explaining.

He couldn’t help it, his mind going a mile a minute when he got too engrossed in the theory, forgetting that he had an audience at all and that he wasn’t in his room, alone and spiraling down the rabbit hole of his research.

To his complete mortification, it happens this time too. One second he’s talking and smiling at Jayce confidently, making complete sense and matching his neat handwriting with the pace at which he’s speaking. 

Then he’s suddenly scribbling something furiously at the last available silver of space at the napkin, mumbling curses under his breath as the pen slips. He runs out of breath and empty canvas to write on, and for a second he seriously considers continuing further onto the sticky wood of their table. 

Then, without missing a beat, Jayce rolls up his sleeve and offers his right arm to him, palm up. His expression is urgent, eyes shining and Viktor doesn’t hesitate to lean over and start finishing his equation. 

Jayce’s skin is ridiculously warm under his fingers, the black ink contrasting with his tan complexion. Viktor’s both careful to not smudge the numbers and impatient to finish, pointing between what he’s already written on the napkin and the last part drying on the man’s skin.

By the end of his rambling he’s slightly flushed and out of breath, and when he looks up at Jayce to finally see his reaction he’s wholly unprepared for the intensity of his stare. There are sparks of electricity dancing down Viktor’s spine and the air between them tastes like ozone, like the moment before lightning strikes. It feels like something in the universe just shifted.

“You,” Jayce’s voice is slightly hoarse, his eyes never leaving Viktor’s, “are incredible.” He also looks slightly out of breath, face shocked. Viktor’s cheeks are burning. “This is truly… revolutionary. You’ve mentioned a project, a prototype. This is so much more than some beginner’s study…” Jayce touches the skin under the numbers with reverence. When he lifts his head again, his gaze is hard. “I will have to insist you apply again. I will personally see to your case, Viktor. You have a talent that cannot be held back by a lack of resources. It’s unbecoming how the Academy has failed you. Please, please allow us, me, to change that.”

And he’s looking at Viktor like no one has ever done, like he’s a marvel, like there’s something holy about his presence, sitting there next to him in that small, cramped bar. 

And Viktor had never felt like that before. Like he's been understood so easily and freely as if it didn’t require effort to connect with him. As if they'd been having these conversations for years already, minds operating at the same frequency. Just rambling, sharing ideas, meeting each other’s heated gaze. A glimpse into the future, of what Viktor’s life could be.

Viktor can’t properly breathe but he decides to put it all on one card.

“Would you like to come to my place? See… uh, see the prototype?”

 

***

 

As they walk down the street to reach Viktor’s apartment, two things gnaw at Viktor’s brain.

One, he really hasn’t cleaned the flat in like… weeks. If not months.  

There’s hopefully no mold around and all of his dirty clothes are in the laundry basket in his bathroom, but he hasn’t bothered with dusting his bookshelves or organizing his work space slash living room slash half-lab half-kitchen in… probably ever. Viktor is used to the little cluttered maze that is his apartment and he doesn’t really ever have visitors. Now he kind of really regrets that.

And two… oh god, Jayce is actually thinking that he was invited for some prototype demonstration.

The realization is slow, slower than it probably should be, considering Viktor’s undeniable intelligence. But it’s in every move that Jayce makes, as Viktor reads no urgency, no sexual tension nor the heat of impatience that usually accompanies him when he tries to get with the people he picks to a more private location.

Admittedly, he never attempted to take someone home, but still… The whole process should look way different, right?

Is it, perhaps, the difference in age? Jayce doesn’t paw at him because he learned patience, is that it? No, Jayce doesn’t even look at him when he’s fallen in step next to Viktor, talking about something related to Academia now.

(God, Viktor can’t stop noticing how huge the man looks next to him. It’s almost absurd. )

And he’s sweet, with all that helping Viktor by opening doors and offering up his arm for Viktor to hold onto in a very gentlemanly move, but he also didn’t look him in the eyes since he said that Viktor was incredible, in that breathless, quiet tone and that’s… well. That’s bothering Viktor a lot.

He wouldn’t be opposed to some groping. Just enough to reassure him that they’re on the same page. Because he’s starting to realize, with some absolutely terrifying clarity, that they’re not. 

And it’s all his fault, really, he knows that he can’t blame anyone but himself, but he really thought that the situation was rather obvious. His staring was rather obvious. His fucking touches were obvious.

And the way Jayce looked at him… He knows hunger when he sees it. He knows how to spot dilated pupils, reddened cheeks, pulse thrumming under the thin skin of someone’s neck. He knows hunger and it’s never looked better than it did on Jayce.

It shook him so badly to be the cause of that seemingly insatiable appetite that he said the first thing he thought of to get them to finally fucking leave that damn table. He took his chance and now… and now everything was suddenly wrong.

Because Jayce should at the very least have his hand over his waist. At the very least, his body should be pressed to Viktor’s side, he should be sending him wanton looks and he should attempt to whisper into Viktor’s ear to fluster him with their proximity.

And he was doing absolutely none of that. He was just letting Viktor hold on to his huge bicep like he was some kind of grandma he was helping to cross the road. It was all very unsexy, despite the muscles under Viktor’s palm, all hot and flexing involuntarily. 

Okay, maybe it was a little sexy.

Everything else, however, was so dry and clinical and Jayce was still not looking at him and they were already climbing the stairs of his apartment building. 

Oh Janna, Viktor has fucked up big time. Was it all in his head? Was he so focused on getting into the man’s pants that he mistook his kindness for interest? There was no ring on his finger, and he hadn't uttered a single word about having someone, so Viktor just assumed…

But no, there was no mistaking that look. Viktor knew desire and he knew that it was present in the stare Jayce had sent him. What was bothering him was the way Jayce acted like it wasn’t there, like it had never happened.

They get to the first floor he lives on and as always, Viktor makes a small prayer of gratitude that it’s just one set of stairs he has to climb. Lifts were still extremely rare in the Undercity and he probably wouldn’t be able to afford living in a building that owned one.

He drops Jayce’s arm to search for his keys and they’re soon inside, Viktor cringing at the bright light in his tiny hallway.

“It’s—”

“Don’t say anything.” Viktor scoffs, fighting with the lock again, but Jayce just snorts, amused.

“I was about to say cozy, Viktor. It looks like a scientist lives there, I like it. Be grateful you cannot see the inside of my place, yours is spotless next to it. And I used to be even worse…” He chuckles to himself again and Viktor thinks that it’s the exact opposite of what he’s glad for.

“You want some coffee?” He asks, because although he might never have any guests over, he’s not an animal. Silco managed to drill some of the savoir-vivre rules into him over the years.

He gets a quick, surprised look from Jayce. Too quick.

“Coffee? It’s… almost eleven, Viktor.” He scrunches his brows in confusion but the younger just shrugs.

“I should have mentioned that I’m actually a terrible host, sorry. There is a small possibility of the existence of tea somewhere in these cupboards, but if you’d like to prove that theory right, you’re on your own, no offence. I can cheer you on from the couch.”

The laugh that leaves Jayce this time is more earnest, deeper. He doubles over from the force of it and Viktor feels very pleased with himself, but also relieved. It feels like the bit of tension caused from entering Viktor's apartment has left them both.

“Actually, water would be great, thanks. And I can get it myself if you just tell me where the glasses are.” Still with a smile, Jayce walks into the cramped kitchen with ease, no hesitation in his movements at all. He acts like someone used to maneuvering around piles of books on the floor, and Viktor feels his heart beat faster.

He reaches the counter to lean his hip on it, taking some of the weight off of his bad leg. Jayce gets the right cupboard on the first try and he makes an adorable sound of excitement.

Viktor watches him help himself to the jug of water that stands next to the old coffee pot. He watches him take a few gulps. He watches a single water droplet fall down his chin and then his neck, and then he watches Jayce wipe it off with his fingers, a sheepish expression on his face.

He watches and he watches until Jayce is unable to avoid his stare anymore because it would be weird, how normal he is about Viktor being weird.

“Everything alright…?” He’s careful to put the glass away, eyes coming to rest on Viktor just for a second before they fall back down. Viktor is kind of done with it. He’s anxious and worried that he completely misread the situation and more than anything, he’s so fucking horny he’s lightheaded.

“Is that really it?” He asks, and in the silence of the room his words sound extra dry and mean. He’s often been described as being off-puttish but it never really mattered to him. It’s weird, to give a fuck about how Jayce perceives him now.

“What?” Jayce’s brows furrow, and he moves his body to face Viktor, despite still avoiding looking at him, in that subtly unsubtle way of his. “What are you talking about, Viktor?”

“Did you really come here to have me show you around my crappy apartment and babble for another hour about my prototype of a machine that I don’t have the right parts to build?” He asks, and he’s suddenly very angry. Mostly at himself, that he’s really having this conversation now, in the middle of his tiny kitchen, with kind of nowhere to run.

“Viktor, of course. I would gladly listen to you talk for another day if—”

“Will you fucking look at me for gods' sake?”

That does it. 

Viktor is standing with his fists clenched, breath quickened, and Jayce is staring right into his eyes, shocked. He’s swallowing hard, like he cannot get the words out. Viktor kind of feels the same.

The stillness is suffocating, but neither of them makes a move to break it. They just breathe in and out, holding eye contact, and Viktor doesn’t know what to think, he can’t think, it’s all way too much for him to get a hold on.

He licks his suddenly very dry lips and Jayce’s eyes drop instantly to follow the movement. Viktor is glad the counter is holding his weight.

“Did you,” he starts, and then stops to swallow the hoarseness of his throat. Jayce is still like a statue. “Did you really just come with me for the prototype?”

A few measured breaths, a hand pulling down Jayce’s face.

“Viktor…”

“Answer me.”

Another beat of silence. This time, Jayce is looking at him. He doesn’t dare avert his eyes and Viktor almost regrets it, the full attention of those golden pools on him is making a flame travel up his spine. Jayce is a dangerous, dangerous man, and it’s not because of his strength, evident in the shape of his body.

“I'm sorry if I… came off as inappropriate. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable or think that you need to… do something for me, in order to get accepted for the scholarship program.” His tone is careful, words measured. He’s rubbing the skin of his left wrist. “You’re brilliant Viktor, and it’s only your mind that got you where you are right now, and what can get you even further.”

Viktor scoffs because Janna, why does Jayce has to be so fucking chivalrous? And what’s even worse, why does it have to make his heart beat even faster?

“I know all of that, you’re the one being stupid now.” He bites at him, raising his chin up. Jayce is so handsome it kind of hurts to look directly at him, but he forces himself to act braver than he feels. He pushes himself to get a step closer, observing how Jayce’s jaw tenses. “Stop bullshitting me.”

“Viktor, what… What are you talking about?” His voice is weak, half pleading, half alarmed. Eyes observing Viktor’s every move but body unnaturally still.

“Tell me I’ve imagined it. Tell me to stop.” Viktor gets even closer.

“You should stop.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Viktor is finally standing in front of Jayce, neck almost straining to look up at him. There’s only a couple inches between them, the man’s body heat radiating from him as if Viktor’s standing in front of a fireplace. He’s asking to get burned. “If I’m just not what you want…”

“It’s not–” Jayce starts and stops himself almost immediately. It’s too fast, too heated. He’s revealed way too much and they both know it.

Viktor searches his eyes again, slowly raising his hand to put it on Jayce’s chest. He can feel the other’s breath hitch under his fingertips, a shudder making him shake. 

“I caught you looking at me before I came over to your table. Tell me that was nothing.” Viktor is high on the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He was never this bold before, not with anyone. There’s however a small voice on the back of his mind telling him to keep pushing, and well. Viktor was always a quite resilient man.

“I can’t, Viktor, you know I can’t, I…” Jayce closes his eyes, takes a deep, steadying breath. A calloused hand wraps itself over Viktor’s bony wrist, squeezing gently before it’s taken off of him. When Jayce looks at him again his gaze is pained but firm. Viktor can feel his stomach drop. “I can’t. Viktor that’s… not right. You can’t just… I can’t just proposition you like that. I’m like, what, twice your age?”

“What does it matter? We’re both adults.” Viktor rolls his eyes but his stomach sinks further down.

Jayce shakes his head, taking a step back. It feels like a bottomless abyss just opened itself between them.

“It matters, Viktor. You’re young, you’re going after me because you finally met someone who recognizes your talent. And it’s not wrong, but it’s gonna be if I take advantage of that.” Jayce sighs again, and it’s just so infuriating.

“That’s just bullshit! You’re fucking hot, I thought that before we even spoke.” Viktor spits the compliment like it’s an insult. 

This time Jayce needs a second longer to recover, mouth opening and closing, eyes wide. He shakes his head like he physically needs to scatter his thoughts for a moment of clarity, his expression a bit desperate.

“It doesn’t matter, Viktor, I might be your professor very soon, that’s… That would mess up everything. I can’t do that to you. You deserve better than that, trust me, you… You’ll understand.”

Viktor can’t look at him. His head falls down as he looks at his feet, hot shame curling in his guts. He is so fucking stupid. Why would he think that Jayce wanted something to do with him, a poor Undercity cripple, young, naive and with a longer medical history than the average person would accumulate through their whole life?

It’s awful. To feel like a helpless kid again, like when he first got that damn rejection letter from the Academy, which he tore into tiny pieces in a fit of rage and embarrassment.

“Hey,” suddenly, Jayce is close to him again, hot palm on his cheek and tilting his head up. Viktor blinks, blinded by the softness of the man’s smile. A thumb swipes gently under his eye, despite no tears having fallen yet. “Don’t look at me like that, Viktor, please. It’s not about you. You’re incredible; young, attractive and probably the smartest person I’ve ever met. If I was just… anybody else… I would be asking you out to dinner without hesitation, alright? I’m really, really flattered that you’ve considered me worthy of your… advances. Maybe I still got it, right?” 

Jayce’s expression by the end is so goofy that Viktor snorts, letting himself, just for a second, nuzzle closer into the palm cradling him, breathing in the smell of Jayce’s skin. Just a second of stolen comfort and then he pulls back, to give the man a wobbly smile of his own.

Jayce’s hand hangs in the air for a half a second too long, as if it misses the warmth of his touch.

“Yeah, maybe you do, old man.” He sniffles once, pleased with the way Jayce plays along, faking an outraged gasp.

“Hey! What happened to age not being an issue?” It’s a lame joke, and an even more pathetic moment for them both but Viktor barks a sharp laugh.

“It’s gone, it turned into, eh, a deal breaker. Yeah.”

The fond roll of Jayce’s eyes breaks Viktor’s heart a little more. It’s painful to breathe, to look at Jayce now, and he cannot imagine how he’s supposed to manage to spend more time in his presence from now on, since he’s apparently going to join the Academy. 

Shit, but is life anything but predictable.

The semi comfortable silence sits between them for another few seconds, before Jayce finally clears his throat.

“I should go.” He points with his thumb awkwardly, and Viktor can only nod. “Can we… Would it be alright if we meet again in the Last Drop, to talk over your application and how to proceed with it?”

“Yeah, I… I’m free almost every day.” Viktor feels kind of stupid saying that, but Jayce just smiles. He knows that the man is trying to put on a brave face of normality to spare them both humiliation, and he’s immensely grateful for that.

“Alright. This Monday, then? Let’s say… seven PM?” Jayce shuffles out of the small kitchen, entering the even tinier hallway. 

Viktor just shrugs, observing him as he puts back on his coat. It’s a nice material, in a nice warm-brown color and an even nicer fur to finish it. All of which are too fine to be acquired anywhere on this side of the river, even with the businesses and market trade blooming.

Gods, Viktor is such an idiot.

“Works for me. I will… bring some real notes then.” He mumbles, opening the door for Jayce with numb fingers. The man smiles at him and if he won’t fucking stop Viktor is honestly going to scream.  

That damn smile. That damn fucking smile, kind eyes and nicely trimmed beard. He cannot stand it one second longer.

“I’m glad, then. Please send me a letter if you have any questions over the weekend or need to reschedule. Or just… wanted to share any ideas. Just anything. I mean it.”

Viktor nods, throat tight. He feels very small, just nodding and nodding like a broken puppet, unable to say anything that would make Jayce stop, stay, don’t leave him like this.

They lock eyes, two precious seconds, and Viktor can feel the weight of all the unsaid words between them. It’s all wrong but there’s nothing to be done about it. He cannot hold it against Jayce to follow reason, as he might be just a stupid and naive kid after all, just as Silco has told him many, many times.

“Goodbye, Viktor. Sleep well.” Jayce’s voice is quiet, barely above whisper. The door closes behind him slowly.

Viktor just stands there, tears finally falling.

He puts his forehead against the dark wood, a shaky exhale the only noise he allows himself to make. His hand was clutching the cane so tightly it’s almost cramped now, as he releases the polished handle to also prop it next to him on the entrance. There are small half moons in places where his nails dig into his skin. 

It wasn’t supposed to go like that. The one time Viktor finds himself really, really wanting something for himself completely selfishly, when he actually dares to believe that it was possible…

It slips from his fingers. And he let it. He let Jayce go even when he saw the man hesitate, when he should have push—

What is he even talking about? Viktor rubs at his eyelids tiredly.

Jayce told him no, that was his right to do so. He didn’t want Viktor like that, or at least, not in this timeline. “If things were different” he said. But they weren’t. This was their reality, a reputed professor with everything to lose and young Zaunite with everything to gain.

Viktor sighs, staring down with unseeing eyes. 

What a shame. Despite some level of attraction he didn’t even get to have a pity fuck to be done with losing his virginity. What a stupid fucking thing to worry over, when he could literally lose a chance at a scholarship for his stunt.

It doesn't matter though. Jayce was so noble-minded that he didn’t even hold it against him. A man as perfect as him had nothing to do with a broken little thing like Viktor.

Viktor stays like that for a few long minutes. Breathing in and out, counting down from a hundred and letting the tears mostly dry on his face. It still hurts but with Viktor, everything always hurts so it doesn’t really bother him. For once, the pain is mostly metaphorical. He’ll get over it. Life will go on and he’ll now have some pretty awkward but enjoyable lectures with a hot new professor. 

Pulse having calmed down, he stares down at his feet. He curses quietly, noticing how his doormat is trapped halfway under his door. He got the piece from Vi the day of his moving into this apartment. It is an awful, completely mismatched piece of fabric. Still better than the keychain Powder made for him. That thing he hides in one of his bottomless drawers. 

He sighs and straightens his back. They crack just barely on the edge of uncomfortable, but he takes a steep to the side, opening the door to pull the mat back in.

Outside, Jayce stands with his arm raised to knock.

The universe shrinks in itself, stretches, slows to a halt. The concept of time for a moment disappears completely, and they’re both standing perfectly still, staring at each other with wide eyes.

Jayce’s stare is a bit wild as he drops it to take in Viktor’s reddened eyelids and puffy lips, now open slightly in shock.

“Oh.” It’s all Viktor manages to get out of his too tight throat.

It’s like a storm has slammed into him, Viktor is swept off his feet as if he doesn’t weigh a pound. The door is shut with enough strength to rattle the walls around and its frame, threatening to break it. The cane Viktor was oh so piteously clutching in his hand just seconds ago clatters on the floor. 

Jayce’s arms are around him, fully enveloping him in the tight embrace that becomes the center of Viktor’s universe. He’s pressed to hard planes of Jayce’s body and he doesn’t remember his own name, as they’re kissing and kissing and kissing so desperately that the world might as well be ending.

Viktor is lost in the feeling of Jayce’s beard scratching gently at his chin, mouth sliding over him with such frantic hurry as if they’re on borrowed time. As if there’s not enough seconds in a minute and minutes in an hour for Jayce to learn and remember all the ways in which Viktor tastes.

He was used to fumbling makeouts, awkward but vaguely pleasant, with guys who treated them like a meaning to an end, like the necessary bridge that would get them to the fucking part. Maybe that’s why it got them so mad that Viktor never let it wander that far.

Jayce makes him feel like every little lick is important, every inch of lips pressed together is to die for. He kisses like he has something to prove, like he has a plan of doing so until the sun burns out. There’s no incoordination nor hesitancy, he takes and takes and takes from Viktor’s mouth and it makes all the air left in Viktor’s lungs leave him, the tiniest of moans the only thing he manages to get out.

There’s barely a hint of bitterness from the beer the man was nursing, fighting with the lingering sweetness of Viktor’s own drink. Jayce’s tongue sweeps over his own with such intensity as if he’s trying to memorize its shape.

“I’m sorry,” he pants in his mouth, between the collision of their lips, not losing its intensity, “I know I shouldn’t, I’m so sorry.”

Viktor doesn't bother responding to that and just throws his arms over Jayce’s head to pull him even closer, kiss him even deeper. The man’s huge hand on his hip squeezes him hard enough to bruise.

“I know I should go, but I can’t, I can’t,” Jayce is mumbling the words like they’re a shameful confession, squeezing them between the toes-curling kisses he plants on Viktor’s lips.

“If you walk out those doors again,” gods, there’s not enough air to breathe, “I’ll never forgive you.”

Jayce groans into his mouth like he’s been stabbed, pressing himself forcibly closer to Viktor, even though the other thought it was impossible. He pours so many unspoken feelings into the kiss that it leaves Viktor lightheaded, unable to focus on a single thing that is not Jayce.

“I won’t, I’m sorry, I’m staying Viktor, I promise I am.” The words are hurriedly spoken into the tender skin of his cheek, and Viktor realizes that Jayce is leaving kisses on the small mole there. “I don’t care about the Academy, I don’t give a single fuck, I will quit and become your research partner, I’ll make it all work, somehow, I promise you.”

Viktor is trembling so violently it feels like an earthquake has rolled through the undercity, Jayce’s words making him let out a high pitched whine.

What a disarming devotion, coming from a man with so much to lose, yet ready to risk it all for Viktor, for that fragile connection that links them now like an invisible thread. Viktor never in his life dared to imagine being an object of such desire, such passion, and from a person with seemingly bottomless reserves of them no less.

Their mouths meet once again. Tongue hot like a forge’s flame dances with his own and there are fingers gently tugging at the roots of his hair. Viktor cannot stop the moans that escape him, trying and failing to pull Jayce closer. They’re already pressed from head to toe.

“Easy, easy,” Jayce guides his lips more with his own, setting up some kind of rhythm, known to him alone. Viktor feels the slow and reassuring swipes of his thumb on the small of his back, feels the lovely way in which his spine is touched. 

“Jayce, Jayce please.” Viktor feels feverish, turning his head to the side to give access to the man’s pointy canines to sink into his unmarked skin. His mouth is so hot on Viktor’s skin it feels like he’s being burned, convulsing under those quick, soothing sweeps of the other’s tongue. 

He wants, no, he needs to have marks left after this, he needs to be able to find them in the morning and press on them to make sure they’re real, that it all really happened. He needs to have something to cling to when it’s all over so the memory lives on. 

“Fuck, Viktor, I want you so bad you have no idea… You’re everything. Everything.” Jayce’s beard scratches under his ear as he leaves kiss after kiss after kiss there, his hips rubbing themselves over Viktor’s and leaving the younger lightheaded.

Jayce feels rock hard against him, and if his words were not convincing enough, his groin pressing into Viktor definitely did not leave any doubt.

Viktor feels bold with the adrenaline and the lavishing attention on him, and oh, Jayce doesn’t even know how much he understands that pure desperation going through him right now. He needs it to be Jayce, he needs it to be him to finally touch him where nobody ever has before.

The inside of his panties is soaked, and Viktor doesn’t know what to do with it, as he’s never been this fucking wet in his life.

He groans, uselessly chasing any friction with his own hips, not being able to move much due to Jayce’s iron-like grip on his hip.

“You want me? Fucking have me then.” He moans, clawing at Jayce’s back and trying to lower him to his level again. He needs those lips on his, he needs them so bad he might just die if Jayce doesn't kiss him right now.

The way Jayce lets out a groan again, that low sound promising Viktor things no words could. When Jayce makes a noise like that while nuzzling the skin right under his chin, he feels invincible. He’s going to get eaten alive and he’s going to enjoy it.

“Baby,” Jayce’s voice is broken, strained, and when he moves up to catch Viktor’s eyes he looks wrecked already. Viktor can’t let him say much more, he throws himself into another kiss with the confidence that Jayce will catch him. 

And catch him he does, even more securely between his arms than before, pressed to the hard planes of his chest and the wall of his hallway, lips capturing his. Viktor will never grow tired of their softness, of the wet heat and the tongue caressing him.

Now both of Jayce’s hands fly to his waist, squeezing, and they groan in unison at the feeling of Jayce’s fingers meeting on both sides. With the close proximity, Viktor is just starting to fully realize the size difference between them. 

Fuck, could Jayce wrap his hand around his whole thigh if he wanted?

“Where’s your bedroom.” It’s not as much of a question as it is a command and Viktor shivers with the pleasant feeling it leaves in his body. Another gush of slick wetness drips down his pussy.

“Door behind kitchen, please, fuck,” he doesn’t know what he’s begging for. Everything’s too overwhelming and he feels like the only solace would be Jayce’s warm, strong body pressing him down, down into the mattress, cutting him off from all other feelings that are not him.

He feels like crying again but those would not be the sad tears anymore.

“Baby, I need you to let me go so we can get there, I am not fucking you in your hallway.” He can clearly hear a smirk in Jayce’s tone, as if the bastard is not as desperate for it as him. His hands are still squeezing Viktor’s waist and he’s tempted to throw reason away and tell the man to just take him there, against the wall. 

It would be a murder for his leg and spine but the problem feels distant, not nearly as urgent as the lack of Jayce’s hot length in him. He's never even got close to that feeling but something in him knows that it would be the answer for the unbearable ache deep in his core. The only thing that would satiate the hunger coursing through his body. 

What Jayce asks for now is, however, impossible. Letting go of the man’s neck sounds like a nightmare and Viktor hears an embarrassing whine tear from his throat as he shakes his head vigorously, pressing himself even tighter to the other.

“Okay baby, it’s okay, fuck, I’m not going anywhere.” Jayce finally lets go of his middle to let his hands wander lower, to his thighs. “Would it be alright if I carry you there?”

And oh, isn’t that something?

Viktor will have to worry about retrieving his cane later, but it’s all so unimportant in the face of what’s about to happen.

“Please, yeah, just support my back, alright?” He presses his face to the sliver of skin above Jayce’s collar as the man scoops him carefully, one hand under his knees and the other firmly on the center of his back, his grip secure but still gentle. Viktor feels floaty, in a way that has nothing to do with how his feet are no longer touching the ground. He pushes his face harder against the tanned skin, breathing in deeply the man’s natural musk. He smells like copper and polished leather, it makes Viktor’s head spin.

Jayce gets to his bedroom without much trouble, taking swift steps on Viktor’s cluttered floor. He doesn’t turn on the light at first and Viktor is glad, the state of the room leaving much to be desired. Still, it’s hard to care when he can feel Jayce’s erection rubbing over his ass with every little move.

He’s not thrown on the mattress, like he half expects. Jayce lays him down gently on top of the crumpled sheets, immediately following, laying himself on top of Viktor without giving him all of his weight. Viktor half wants to argue, to tell him to crush him under that lovely body of his, but then Jayce presses his crotch down on his and Viktor almost rises from the bed with how hard he arches into it.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” he’s babbling, and Jayce’s hands are way too distracting, petting down his sides and over his stomach. Those ungodly lips are leaving more and more marks on the exposed skin on his throat. Viktor dreams of Jayce’s teeth sinking into it, splattering blood everywhere. Truly consuming him in an ultimate act of possession.

Jayce raises his head, panting, his pupils so dilated that Viktor can't see the rich gold of his irises anymore. The man rolls his hips again, forcing a whine out of Viktor, but his brows furrows just a fraction. He glances down and Viktor is suddenly very aware of the fact that he skirted around a quite important detail.

Jayce makes a move as if he wants to rise himself up and Viktor panics, grasping at his shirt with a slightly trembling hand.

“Ineedtotellyousomething.” He splutters, short of breath and with a heartbeat so loud in his ears it’s almost deafening. He hates getting vulnerable in front of others, a thing that accompanied him since childhood, when he didn’t have a choice but to be vulnerable, too weak to defend himself, save himself. It opened some awful hollow cavity in his heart, little thing unable to heal over the years as he sometimes kept tripping on the pavement or got called particularly crude things for some of the womanly features of his face.

He felt like a snarling cornered animal every time this happened. Embarrassed tears filling his eyes and hands shaking, hurt pride scattered uselessly on the floor. He tried to look up to Silco, as the man was the most vicious bastard Viktor has ever seen in his life, despite his eye trauma and being… the same as Viktor. Born different.

Silco was, however, a tougher guy than Viktor ever could be. He went through hell to be able to live in heaven now, with a husband and children who adored him and a reputation that precedes him. 

Viktor has no name to himself and despite the loving friends who give him a ton of support, he was never in a situation where he’d have to bare himself, body and soul, in front of someone who had the power of crushing his fragile heart and self esteem in the palm of their hand.

This was also the reason he never had the guts to proceed further with any partner than heated makeouts in the corners of bars. 

How terrifyingly human thing it is, to be seen for who they are, with all of the imperfections on display and nothing to hide behind.

And yet. He looks at Jayce, his panic slowly subduing as one of the big warm hands cradles his cheek to force him to look up. He wants, oh how he wants to just give it all to Jayce, to trust him that he’d have him no matter what, that he’ll see all of the ugly things that make Viktor, well, Viktor and not run away but hold him closer. And when Jayce looks at him like that… Viktor really believes that it’s all just in the grasp of his hand, ready for him to take.

A calloused thumb presses on his bottom lip, grounding him in reality.

“Talk to me.” Jayce leans down to nuzzle their foreheads together in a gesture so full of affection Viktor’s throat gets even tighter. He blinks to compose himself, missing Jayce’s closeness the second he backs away again. Viktor unclutches the fist he tangled in Jayce’s shirt, choosing to play gently with the material, avoiding the man's too attentive gaze.

“It’s… silly, kind of, but important.” He tries and fails to give Jayce a reassuring smile, ending up with some wobbly thing that only makes the wrinkle between Jayce’s eyebrows deepen. “I just… eh, might not have the same… equipment?” Viktor risks a quick, pointed glance down between them, where their pelves are still pressed closely.

Jayce blinks, opens his mouth and then grins at him with such fondness it forces Viktor to turn his head away, cheeks burning.

“Oh, baby… Were you worried it would be a problem for me, sweetheart? Gods, the previous partners you've taken to bed must have been boys , not men.” Jayce rubs the delicate skin of Viktor’s chin, leaving a small kiss there, a trail of them that leads him to Viktor’s ear that he bites teasingly, making the other shudder. “I can make you feel good no matter what, love, I can assure you.”

A small breathless moan escapes Viktor and he turns to capture Jayce’s lips with his own, unable to help himself. Janna, but was this man absolutely unreal. So tuned to him and every little thing Viktor did or said and it was easy to get drunk on that level of attention. When Jayce gave a finger he wanted an arm, more and more and more of this beautiful man, more and then all of him, all of him just for himself until there was nothing left.

(When did he become such a greedy creature?)

“About… about that…” He tries to mumble in between the swipes of their tongues together that make his muscles tense and his core throb. Jayce makes a noncommittal sound to let him know that he’s listening, a deep rumble that vibrates through Viktor’s very being. 

He’s tempted to let it go. He’s tempted to just… conveniently omit the fact of the lack of said partners. Jayce has already hesitated once because of his young age, what if he won’t want to fuck him anymore once he learns how inexperienced Viktor is? Many people did not appreciate having to deal with partners they needed to teach everything. What if it would be that one thing too much, a step too far, a final deal breaker for Jayce? Where lies the final line of his endless patience?

But there was that greedy voice in Viktor’s mind again, begging him to let go. To do the trust fall, because Jayce would catch him. He’s solid, he’s trustworthy, it’s okay, Viktor can let go. He can stop clutching onto control, he can give it to someone else.

Viktor allows himself one last deep kiss before he pushes lightly at Jayce’s chest. The man instantly backs up a few inches, breathing hard as if he just ran a mile, eyes taking in Viktor’s entire form splayed under him. His jaw twitches.

“What you said…” Viktor starts and immediately feels like he began wrong, but also that there’s no good way to approach this. Jayce’s eyes come back to him, searching. He clears his throat. “What you said. About… about other men. There was none. I think it’s… fair towards you, to mention that.” 

He can see the way Jayce’s pupils dilate, his nostrils flaring. Some primal part of Viktor’s brain wants him to run.

“What?” Jayce’s voice is quiet, gaze jumping between Viktor’s eyes, looking for the confirmation that he understood him right. Viktor feels himself blush to the very roots of his hair, the redness incredibly apparent on his pale complexion.

“You heard me, don’t make me fucking repeat myself.” He squirms, but Jayce’s hand shoots to hold his chin, expression serious.

“You’re…” a virgin? Inexperienced? A prude? “... untouched?”

The word rings in his ears as if he’s been hit. Cheeks on fire, Viktor slaps his hand on one of Jayce’s meaty biceps.

“Don’t say it like that! Janna…” He makes a face, nose scrunched up. He pretends that his heart does not race like it’s seconds from escaping his chest through his ribcage. He doesn’t want to think about how the word makes his thighs clench on Jayce’s hips, trying to close uselessly.

He knows Jayce felt that.

The man shakes his head, releasing Viktor’s face, his expression a bit wild.

“Fuck, sorry, I’m sorry Viktor, I didn’t mean… There’s obviously… obviously nothing wrong with that…” His voice sounds distant, eyes distracted, once again sliding down Viktor’s body, stopping for a moment on his crotch where the wet patch becomes visible on his dark brown pants. 

The groan that escapes Jayce makes Viktor’s cunt gush even more.

“Fuck, baby…” Jayce’s forehead drops to his collarbone, breathing labored. He sounds almost pained. “I feel like a fucking pervert… twice your age and taking your virginity? Did you… did you think it through, Viktor, I need you to understand…” Jayce is almost babbling, his words frantic and unsure but his hands are like hot iron around his waist, squeezing almost painfully. 

And Viktor wants him to press even harder.

He’s not thinking, he grabs at Jayce’s hair and he pulls his head up to make the man look at him with wild eyes. That drop of possessiveness… All Viktor has is a hunch. But when he’s with Jayce all reason seems to leave him, and he’s throwing himself in blindly without a second thought.

“You want me to leave?” He pants, observing closely how Jayce’s fingers on his hips twitch. Jayce opens his mouth but he doesn’t let him utter a word. “You want me to go back to that bar, Jayce? Find someone else to do it? Someone to treat me right, fuck me right?”

The sound that emerges somewhere deep from Jayce’s guts is not human at all.

Jayce pushes his head down forcibly, straining against Viktor’s grip and uncaring how it tugs at him, most likely painful and uncomfortable. He sinks his teeth in Viktor’s throat, right where his arm meets the delicate skin of his jugular. 

It’s such animalistic fucking response to Viktor’s tease that he can’t help the high pitched moan, the pain-pleasure making him go cross eyed, hips shaking to rub some of the tension on the hard planes of Jayce’s stomach. 

“They can’t.” Jayce’s grunt is almost lost to him as it’s nipped and licked right into the irritated skin. Viktor’s whole body is trembling once again when Jayce raises his head to look him in the eyes, something dark is in his gaze. Viktor clenches on nothing. “They can’t touch you because they don’t fucking deserve you, they don’t know how to make you feel good, they don’t. They can’t, you can’t, Viktor.”

Jayce presses his clothed hips down on Viktor, over and over again and the hard twitching shaft rubbing against Viktor’s sensitive clit is making his head roll back from the delicious pressure, nothing like the clumsy masturbation attempts he has tried.

He’s strung like a live wire, ready to snap.

“I can’t?” He prompts, unable to keep his mouth shut, greedy to get more of that side out of Jayce. He’s searching for something, not even sure himself what for, but the desperation in him grows with every thrust against him.

“No, you can’t. You can’t go to them, you’re mine Viktor.” Jayce is hunched over him, watching him with such choking intensity and Viktor’s brain shuts itself off with those words.

Mine. Mine mine mine mine mine.

Jayce wants Viktor to be his, he wants to be the only person to make Viktor feel good. Jayce actually feels jealous over the thought of him with other men.

The unbearable heat in Viktor’s cunt grows and suddenly he can’t breathe, the pressure washing over his whole body and he’s cumming, throat then unclenching and low mewls spilling involuntarily.

“Jayce, Jayce,” he can’t control the little hiccups, hands grasping at anything he can reach, Jayce’s strong body hovering over him; the only anchor in the ocean of feelings so overwhelming he could drown in them.

Viktor has tried to make himself feel good quite a few times but it would never work out, it never made him climax like he just did. He always felt awkward and then too frustrated to try and continue the useless rubbing, something always pulling the focus of his hyperactive brain away. 

He didn’t even realize how pent up he was, that all he needed was a man that would finally turn his brain off with his presence alone and a little dry humping to come in his pants… exactly like a virgin would.

The tiniest silver of mortification pierces the heavy haze that lies on his brain, but before the embarrassment ruins his afterglow, there’s a pair of sweet gentle lips that press against his temple. They pepper slow kisses down to the right side of his face, the left being caressed by warm, calloused palm.

“You’re with me, sweetheart? Poor thing, you must have been really bottled up…” That tone… so sweet, just slightly condescending and so fucking right. Viktor wants nothing else but to give in to that gentle tug of it, to slip under just as it beckons him to do so.

But that hot shame, almost as hot as the inside of his pants just cannot stop gnawing at his brain. He came in such an embarrassing way, just a few words and a little friction, what must Jayce think about him now? Does he even still find him attractive? Or is he maybe contemplating how to leave Viktor again so he won’t have to deal with the mess he is right now? If he can’t control himself now, when they have barely started, it surely won’t get any better later, right?

There’s a hand on his neck suddenly, squeezing softly. Viktor’s mouth opens and closes as his eyes fly to meet Jayce’s stare, calm and grounding. His body goes slack again, eyelids fluttering. Jayce’s fingers loosen their grip on his skin, starting to instead gently caress where Viktor is most vulnerable.

“You seem to be thinking an awful lot, baby.” He lowers his head to press the tiniest kiss to Viktor’s half parted lips. The hand on his neck prevents Viktor from chasing after him. “Do you want to, though?” Another peck on his rosy cheek. “Think?”

Viktor lets out a truly pitiful moan, hands scrambling to grasp at Jayce’s wide shoulders, tugging him down more to force his weight on Viktor’s slightly shaking body. He doesn’t want to think, no, not now not ever, all he wants all he needs is Jayce. He doesn’t want these ugly, annoying thoughts anymore, he wants to only feel Jayce.

His body, his mind do not belong to him anymore. It’s all for Jayce, his to command, his to take pleasure in. Viktor is but a thing, a tool.

With the sound of the gentle shushing, Viktor realizes he must be babbling out loud some of the delirious thoughts crowding in his brain. His lips are kissed again, softly, not letting him speed up the pace. 

“It’s alright darling. I’ll take care of everything, please let me.” Jayce takes his hand off of Viktor’s neck, his eyes once again capturing Viktor’s. Their intensity make the younger shiver. “Let’s take off your clothes first, shall we?”

All Viktor’s able to do is to nod dumbly, hands finally releasing their desperate clutch of Jayce’s shoulders. The man moves to sit back on his knees, grasping at Viktor’s green sweater and pulling it up slowly, looking him in the eyes for any kind of protest.

Denying him anything is however the last thing on Viktor’s mind. He’s pliant, raising his arms above his head to make it easier for the man to take it off. He shudders slightly from the feeling of the cool air of the room on his bare chest.

His first instinct is to cover himself. To shrink away from the eyes fixed on the soft mounds of his tiny pecs, barely even formed because of how skinny he is yet still there. Nipples pink and hard from the temperature.

He doesn’t raise his hands though. Eyes half closed, he just watches Jayce, breath quickening, and lets it all happen. He’s done running, thinking. Jayce said he’d take care of him. He believes this more than anything.

Jayce lets out a shuddering groan as he puts his palm flat above Viktor’s heart, eyes darting between every mole decorating the pale skin. His hand is burning hot.

“Do you want these touched baby?” The man asks and his voice is like gravel. Viktor is only able to let out a little pleading mewl that seems to please Jayce greatly. The calloused fingers slide down, down until they’re circling his nipple in an absolutely maddening way. “Has anyone ever touched your perfect tits before?”

And oh. Oh. That question opens some doors in Viktor’s brain that he will never be able to close again.

A violent tremble wrecks through his body as the man finally touches his nipple. It’s as if a flame licked his skin, intense and all consuming. 

“Fuck!” A curse escapes him, spine arching as Jayce puts both of his thumbs down on his nipples and presses harder, flicking them up after a second. It’s like an electric zip through Viktor’s nervous system, hands flying to grab at Jayce’s forearms. 

He never would have thought his breasts were particularly sensitive. He ignored them his whole life, content with pretending they didn’t even exist. It certainly helped with how small they were, barely even developing into something more than just a slightly softer and swollen tissue on his overly bony and skinny torso.

Now, however, after Jayce called them his perfect tits…

Viktor is shaking with how sensitive he feels. The skin of his breasts is thin and so delicate it almost feels like Jayce will bruise it just by touching it.

It’s another thing entirely that Viktor wants him to leave a mark.

“Good?” The man rasps, his eyes glued to where his fingers are reducing Viktor to a brainless mess. They look up only once to check Viktor’s expression, but whatever he finds on his face must satisfy him as he smiles slightly, before taking his hands off again. 

Viktor is torn between protesting and sobbing from relief, as the intense assault was making the hot arousal in his guts rise to an almost unbearable level.

“I asked you a question sweetheart.” Jayce lowers his head to nip at Viktor’s chin once. The younger pulls at his arms uselessly, trying to get the other to touch him again but it’s pointless. Jayce could hold his body down with only one of his palms and not even break a sweat. 

In response to the pathetic whine Viktor lets out Jayce only tuts disapprovingly, one hand coming to hold his neck again. 

“Words, baby. I need to know how you feel.” Jayce presses down just once before he plants a kiss on Viktor’s mouth. It feels like he can’t help himself.

“Jayce.” Viktor tries again, because it’s just… so embarrassing. It’s one thing to let himself react to the pleasant feeling and it’s another to talk about it. Especially when Jayce looks at him like that, like he’s about to eat him.

“You’re feeling shy now? What happened to threatening to fuck other men? You were quite brave just a moment ago…” He uses his right hand to flick his nipple again and it makes all the hair on Viktor’s body stand up with a shudder. Why is that slightly mean tone doing such things to him? Viktor cannot wrap his head around it, stripped off of his wits by the hulking man above him.

There’s however something disturbing about it too, about the thought of not having Jayce here, but someone else, another nameless man. He almost squirms with how wrong it feels.

“No,” he whines, forcing himself to look up at Jayce, willing him to understand something he doesn’t know how to put into words. Jayce however just raises one unimpressed brow, the one with a little scar on it, and pinches his nipple between his thumb and forefinger. 

If not for the hand still on his throat Viktor would rise off the bed completely. Instead he wails as if Jayce had burned him, already ruined underwear getting flooded even more with a gush of wetness.

“No? What’s that about, sweetheart?” Jayce rubs around his throbbing nipple gently. Viktor would risk saying that it’s almost apologetic, but the wild gleam in Jayce’s eyes tells him just how much the older man enjoys pulling these reactions out of him. 

He swallows, throat way too dry, but his mind is determined to get his point across. He needs to say it, he needs Jayce to know…

“No… no other men.” He swallows again, and his words finally make Jayce pause just for a second, before he continues the gentle petting around the swollen bud. “I don’t want… I don’t want them. I’m sorry, I just want you. Just you, Jayce, please.”

It’s pathetic how wobbly his chin gets, but the soothing kiss that gets planted on his lower lip makes it a bit easier to calm down from the sudden emotional feeling that threatens to overtake him. 

“Oh baby, I know. I know Viktor, I’m sorry, I know you didn’t mean that… Fuck, you’re way too cute when you look at me like that, how could I possibly… No, of course, there’s no one else. It’s just us, baby. Just us.” Jayce nuzzles their noses together and finally the world stops spinning, finally Viktor feels at ease again. 

Jayce knows that he doesn’t want anybody else, that he was only trying to annoy him to get what he wanted. He’s not mad, he’s not mad because Jayce is so good for him and he’ll take care of him just like he promised he would.

Jayce leans lower, lower still, kissing and nipping on Viktor’s prominent collarbones. Viktor used to dislike how they looked for the biggest part of his life, but now… How could he possibly hold any animosity if Jayce’s teeth fit on them so perfectly?

The beard scratches the sensitive skin of his left pec and Viktor’s head spins at the realization of what’s about to come. He opens his mouth but no words come out of them, just shuddering breaths as Jayce’s kisses slow down so much it feels as if he’s mapping Viktor’s body with his lips and tongue alone.

“You smell so good.” Words mumbled into his skin, a harsh nip following right after. Viktor is reduced to the points of contact between their bodies alone. Jayce keeps talking. “So fucking sweet it’s unreal…”

“Please,” what is he pleading for? He doesn’t even know, all he has is that need.

If Viktor was able to spare a single thought to anything else but Jayce’s mouth hovering over his perked nipple, he would probably demand that Jayce take his soaked pants off and take him, finally, but… he’s not in charge. He’s not the one calling the shots, making decisions, thinking, and it’s a feeling so freeing he could sob.

“Please what, love?” Jayce’s breath on his skin is so hot Viktor’s eyes feel glassy with the unshed tears. It’s both a betrayal and a blessing from his own body, to be able to absorb every little thing Jayce gives him like that. He could swear that he was never that sensitive, not born like that but somehow made, in the span of hours, just for Jayce. Who already seems to know him better than he knows himself. “Want me to suck on your pretty tits?”

Those words again. And the immediate reaction of his body, a shudder, a loud moan that follows, hands uselessly grabbing at anything he can reach, Jayce’s back, his hair. The man however, won’t budge.

“Say it baby.” His fingers caress Viktor’s sides gently, the thin skin awkwardly stretched over his ribs, as if it’s the finest silk. Viktor fights with himself, feeling a hot flush of shame turn his pale complexion red. “Say what you want me to do.”

He knows, they both do. It’s a game of running patience and Viktor is devastatingly sure that he doesn’t stand a chance against Jayce’s experience.

“I want… fuck, Jayce, just please… I want…” He knows that his accent is thick like that, when he fights for his own focus, losing completely when the older man blows some of the air on his burning skin. 

“Yes?” Oh the question sounds so mocking but the fingers petting him are so delicate that he’s having a hard time connecting both of those sensations to one person. 

Shame he was born with stirs somewhere deep inside of his guts but it no longer has control over him. Where Viktor is right now, on his back between the soft sheets, no shame can reach him. Whatever Jayce is doing with him, to him, is so ultimately right he is helpless to let it happen, let it consume him.

“Want you… want you to suck on my tits. Please.” He lets out another of those high pitched whines and clenches his eyes shut. Another trust fall, another push and pull, and Jayce remains a steady weight on his shaking body, anchoring him through all of this.

(He always knew that sex was about vulnerability, about allowing the most animalistic side of himself to come out of hiding. He never realized how it all would feel so good to finally let go.)

He feels more than hears the sound Jayce makes.

“Good job. That’s my perfect baby…” The rest is inaudible for Viktor. 

Jayce takes his neglected, oversensitive nipple into his mouth the moment the praise registers in Viktor’s brain. 

He’s loud, that’s the only thing he knows. He’s squirming and trashing so much that he would probably hurt himself, if not for one of Jayce’s huge palms supporting his arched spine. 

There’s not enough air in his lungs for all the sounds he’s making, Jayce’s clever tongue ripping them all from him so greedily he cannot keep up with the onslaught of new intense sensations. 

Jayce moves between his breasts without any pattern or rhythm that could prepare Viktor for where his teeth will land next. His skin is scratched, nibbled, sucked. It’s raw and tender, intensifying every next lick ten folds. 

Viktor’s legs are doing that thing again, where they desperately try to close together to save him from that overwhelming sensation in his throbbing pussy. Jayce’s wide torso is once again unmoving between them, blocking all of Viktor’s attempts to shy away from the sensation. 

He has an insane thought that he might come again if Jayce keeps licking his nipples like that.

And because apparently it’s not possible for Viktor to hide even a sliver of his soul from Jayce, the older man pulls off his skin with a loud, obscene smack.

“You’re twitching so much baby… All this from having your nipples played with?” There’s awe in his voice that helps Viktor overcome the hot flush of embarrassment. Jayce is pleased with him, he must be doing something good, he’s doing good for Jayce. “You think you could come again just from that? Just from your tits?”

If he won’t stop, if he won’t stop then Viktor really fucking might. He’s overwhelmed with how his whole being seems to be wrapped in Jayce’s scent, it’s all he can feel and taste. And when he risks a glance down, where Jayce is talking with his mouth still on Viktor’s skin, pink and marked all over…

“Should I let you sweetheart?” Jayce licks a hot stripe from one of his nipples to the other. The sight of it makes Viktor curl his toes, leg muscles spasming. “Should we try to ruin your pants even more? You’ve soaked through them completely, I can almost feel you on my chest…” 

And with how Viktor’s hips uselessly twitch and rub over the tiniest point of contact between them, the younger man knows it’s true. That Jayce must feel the clingy wetness that seeps through the material of both his old white panties and the remotely new brown slacks.

Gods, with how badly he has soaked them, he’ll most likely have to throw them out as soon as possible. There was no way for him to try and ever wear them again without reliving through every second of this moment as if it was happening anew.

Jayce’s words make him squirm again, straining against that hand pushing him up right in Jayce’s burning hot mouth. 

“Nooo, please, I wanna… Can we take them off?” He whines again, hoping for Jayce’s mercy. There’s a pause in the older’s relentless ministration and then a small chuckle falls from those skilled lips. 

“Ha, you’re right baby, I’m sorry. It’s your first time after all, I shouldn’t tease you too much, should I?” Jayce places a small apologetic kiss on each of Viktor’s nipples. There’s so much saliva on his chest that Viktor shivers from the cold sensation of air blowing on it.

“No, I… I like everything you do, Jayce.” God, with the amount of blood in his cheeks it’s almost impossible for Viktor to use any brainpower to come up with something eloquent to reassure Jayce that everything he’s doing is nothing short of perfect. Viktor didn’t even know his body was capable of feeling such intense physical sensations. “I… I trust you. So please, please use me. I just wanna be yours…”

He trails off, straining to leave kitten-like licks and kisses on the exposed part of Jayce’s neck that he can reach. The man above him is panting hard, fingers flexing on Viktor’s naked spine. 

He indulges Viktor’s affections, however, only once turning his head to put their foreheads against each other. 

“Gods, Viktor… you drive me crazy sweetheart, you know that?” Jayce presses a tender kiss to Viktor’s cheek, breathing him in for a second before he leans away to look him in the eyes. “Lay back.”

And Viktor does, hands clutching the sheets so Jayce doesn’t see them shake. He’s nervous but not in a bad way, like he’s worried what Jayce might think. He trusts him, just like he said. Body and soul. He’ll be taken care of but now that Jayce’s hands land on his zipper, it all suddenly turns very real.

Jayce’s glimmering amber eyes are still on him. Following his every expression as he tugs Viktor’s pants down his legs to finally put them somewhere next to bed to immediately become forgotten by them both.

Only then Jayce finally looks down between his thighs and lets out a loud moan.

Viktor’s white panties are see-through with how soaked they are. They cling to the puffy lips of his cunt like a second skin, his dick throbbing and perfectly visible, tenting the material just barely.

Viktor’s head is spinning with how hard Jayce is staring, his breaths loud and strangled. 

“Fuck, Viktor,” he rasps, and it’s intoxicating how much his voice drops, pupils blown so wide there’s no color visible in those gorgeous eyes of his. 

Viktor has had a complicated relationship with his own body ever since he could remember. It affected every aspect of his life from the moment he woke up to the second he fell asleep. He’a made peace with the knowledge that he will never not be self conscious, always aware of his imperfections and his unattractive features. 

Now, however, there’s not enough space for his own feelings to take hold, he’s flooded instead with all of the desire and adoration on Jayce’s face.

“Gods, you’re so. Fucking. Gorgeous.” Jayce is looking him up and down, eyes dancing over every little curve, every little mole, scar, and small detail across his body. He’s drinking him in as if he’s starving for it, for him. Viktor, with the exact same body he has always struggled to love. 

Nothing changed in the way Viktor looks. And yet everything is different.

“Tsk , out of your head, baby.” Jayce’s voice sounds playful but Viktor doesn’t have time to even take a breath before two pads of those burning hot, calloused fingers are pressed against his hole.

He stiffens and then trashes a bit, struggling against Jayce’s arm holding his hips down. It feels almost shocking, that after all this waiting he’ll be able to finally get what he wants so desperately…

Jayce however doesn’t move his fingers even an inch. 

He just holds them there, pressed tightly against the pulsating entrance, a paper thin piece of cotton separating them from each other.

He’s looking Viktor straight in the eyes and it makes the younger gasp for air with how overwhelmed he feels.

“So nobody’s really touched you here…” There’s some sort of reverence in his voice that makes Viktor only squirm more. The fingers won’t move and Viktor feels a certain way about the fact that he can’t hide a single twitch from Jayce like that. The man knows how his words work on him.

“A–ah, no… nobody…” Viktor’s muscles tenses as Jayce rubs around so slowly, a heated gaze holding his. Viktor has an irrational thought that he might pass out, but then Jayce leans over him to nudge their noses together. 

“Hey, I’ve got you.” His breath is warm on Viktor’s lips, comforting. Reading him like an open book. “I’ll tell you how it’s gonna go and you can tell me if there’s anything particularly unappealing or just anything you’d like to change. At any point. Understood?”

His fingers are still pressed tightly to Viktor’s pussy and the world still looks fuzzy on the edges. Viktor nods but Jayce’s brows scrunches and he clicks his tongue again in disapproval. 

“Words, baby. I need to know you heard me.” His index finger presses just a tad more and Viktor thinks that that’s it. That’s how he’s gonna die.

“I did, I did! I’ll tell you, just… please…” it’s hard to breathe with how charged the air feels. So heavy it’s suffocating, and all Viktor wants is to let it do so. 

Jayce, however, just can’t seem to let him fall. 

“Good. Very good baby.” He pets his folds through the wet material and Viktor feels once again lightheaded with want. It’s almost what he needs, just out of his reach, the feeling of the material good but not perfect like he knows Jayce’s bare skin would be. He doesn’t dare protest though. “Here’s what we’re gonna do; I’ll put my mouth on you, then use my fingers, and if you’ll still be up for it after, I’ll fuck you properly. How does that sound?”

How, he asks. Viktor’s entire body is trembling in anticipation, all thoughts leaving his brain at the lewdness of that promise, and Jayce has the sheer audacity to ask his opinion in that moment, as if he’s speaking about the weather. 

A fresh gush of slick wetness drips out of him slowly, seeping through already ruined panties right on Jayce’s fingers.

By the way the man’s eyes widen and nostrils flare Viktor knows he felt that. A shudder wrecks through him and the younger moans softly.

“Yes, please, anything, everything.” He tries bucking his hips up for any sort of friction but Jayce just presses down harder to counter his move, a small smile on his lips. 

Janna, he said these mouths will be on him.

“Ah–ha, just take what I give you baby, don’t rush it…” Jayce finally lets go of him but he also takes his fingers away. Viktor chokes on a pathetic whine but stays still. With a wildly beating heart he observes how Jayce raises his hand to his face, looking at his fingers intensely before he licks them clean, tasting Viktor for the first time.

On the arm he’s holding up there are still smudges of ink from where Viktor wrote his equations. Somehow it makes it even more erotic and intimate than it already was.

His groan and Viktor’s whine mix together in the air. Before he can register more, Jayce is back on him, kissing down his sternum. 

“You’re just so…” he bites at his nipples and Viktor gasps, arching into the touch but Jayce is already moving lower, his beard scratching at Viktor’s belly. 

Viktor’s thighs are forced to spread even more to accommodate Jayce’s ridiculously big shoulders, and he starts to feel the strain in his right leg but Jayce is quick to hold it gently and move it on his shoulder for a better support which immediately eases the tense muscles there. 

It feels so… weird, in a good way, to be seen for all that he is. Still with a disability, one that doesn’t go away despite the heated atmosphere, but fading somehow in the background of all that’s happening when properly taken care off. He doesn’t try to think harder about it as he’s already not that far from openly crying.

Jayce licks a stripe from the edge of his underwear up to his navel, tasting his sweat. He’s making those low groaning noises that go straight to Viktor’s dick.

“Jayce,” he tries to protest the teasing but words die in his throat as Jayce nuzzles his face between his thighs, biting at them enough to leave another set of bruises, matching those on Viktor’s chest. 

Jayce’s teeth are sharp. There are the tiniest pearls of blood shimmering on Viktor’s skin, and the way Jayce licks at the wound feels almost apologetic. Just almost, because he closes his eyes and groans at the taste.

It almost doesn’t feel right, to have his face this close to Viktor's groin. The maddening anticipation is making the younger’s hips jump every time Jayce’s breath ghosts over his wet underwear.

Jayce noses lower, just above Viktor’s clit, open mouth pants making Viktor’s thighs jump uselessly in his iron like hold. Viktor has a sudden concern about his own taste and smell, but before he can even go down that line of thinking, Jayce moans low in his chest and takes a first lick over Viktor’s dick, still trapped in his panties.

It’s as if Viktor got electrocuted, whole body tingling from an intense, shock-like pleasure between his legs. He doesn’t even register how one of his hands flies to the man’s head, gripping his hair for dear life.

He’s already come once, could it possibly make him even more sensitive…?

“Fuck,” Jayce rasps right above his cunt and the younger’s spine curves a bit from the ghost like feeling of his lips moving right on the soaked material. “I’m taking these off, now.”

Viktor doesn’t have anything to say to that, other than a desperate string of yesyesyesplease, pushed out through his too tight throat.

Jayce puts Viktor’s legs back on the bed and straightens up. He grabs at the hem of his shirt then and just rips it carelessly off his back, throwing it on the floor. Only then Viktor realizes how he didn’t even notice that Jayce has remained almost completely clothed as he got bared more and more. 

Oh, how he has been missing out.

Jayce’s dark complexion shining in the moonlight’s glow, deliciously defined pecs and just the smallest hint of fat on his solid, absurdly muscled body. Seeing all that skin, contrasting with his, straining with every move…

Looking at the wiry hair on Jayce’s chest and the happy trail disappearing behind the hem of his pants, Viktor almost misses the moment the other grabs at the material of his underwear, pulling it down.

Only the slightly cold feeling of the air in the room grazing his sensitive skin as the wet material gets peeled off his groin has finally brought his attention back. 

Jayce is starting again, slightly damp chest rising and falling, eyes taking in the sight in front of him. Viktor can only imagine what he sees. 

He must look wrecked, so utterly undone, fresh marks covering every inch of his trembling body. If the bulge in Jayce’s pants and the wet spot on the material is any indication, the older man likes what he sees. Oh how nice it would be, to see himself through the adoring eyes of the other…

Jayce lowers himself on his stomach, placing Viktor’s thighs on his wide shoulders again. It makes the younger’s head spin, all of that skin contact so sudden his legs are shivering. Jayce places sloppy kisses on his pubic mound before burying his nose in the hair there, breathing Viktor in as if he was drowning.

He groans, and his beard touches Viktor’s clit just briefly, making him moan. He feels like a live wire, a string so tense it’s ready to snap.

When Jayce places the first, open mouthed kiss on his bare cunt, the whole world shifts a little.

Viktor lets out a mewl so high pitched his throat almost hurts. One hand in the sheets above his head the other in Jayce’s hair, both pushing and pulling at the same time, as he’s unable to decide if he’d rather move away or closer to the intoxicating feeling of Jayce’s warm tongue stroking his wet folds.

His thighs shake and try to close around Jayce’s head who just growls right into his pussy and holds them tighter. Viktor’s eyes roll back for a second.

Every muscle in his body is vibrating with the unknown need to move, to either tense or relax, to rub himself more against Jayce’s face or let him feast in peace. 

And oh, what a feast it is.

He only gets a glimpse at the man between his legs and feels too close to coming, looking away to just stave off the orgasm for a moment longer, not ready for the new, intense pleasure to end.

But Jayce’s face looks so handsome, strong brows drawn together, eyes shut close as his chin moves, mouth pressed to Viktor’s twitching entrance as he pushes his tongue inside, his nose brushing over Viktor’s too sensitive dick.

At the feeling of the wet muscle stroking the insides of his core Viktor is unable to stop himself from thrashing, fingers tugging painfully at Jayce’s dark brown strands.

“Jayce, please, fuck—” he wails, tears finally spilling and small hiccups wrecking through his body. He never thought that having someone’s mouth on him could feel so world-ending.

And Jayce, the absolute bastard, just presses himself closer and hums.

Viktor’s hips are jumping in his hold, legs quivering, his toes curling with every sweep of that clever tongue over his cunt. Jayce alternates between dipping it in his hole and licking all the way up to his clit that he avoids, the pace maddening to Viktor.

It’s so hot in the room he feels like he’s boiling alive, consumed by the fire burning through him. Molten lava in his stomach spreads through his body, entering his blood system and turning him inside out into something other than he was before. No longer human, a genius, a person with plans and ambitions. He’s but a slave to that feeling between his legs increasing in its intensity with every little second Jayce spends there, and it feels like he’d die if the older man stops kissing his fluttering entrance for even a moment.

It’s hard to say if Jayce is even breathing, with how close he presses his face to Viktor, only muffled groans leaving him. 

“Jayce, Jayce I can’t…” Viktor is sobbing between the licks, the little ah ah ah sounds feel ripped from him, all of his limbs twitching involuntarily. Jayce finally moves away just an inch and the intense assault on his overstimulated cunt eases. He gulps down air as if he ran a mile, Jayce’s own hard breaths on his sex making him gush out slick. It makes Jayce moan low in his chest, eyes glued to Viktor’s pussy.

“Fuck, you taste so good baby, I just can’t… can’t get enough of you…” Jayce rubs his face on the inside of Viktor’s bitten thigh, making him shiver. He sounds so rough as if his voice drops a whole octave down, eyes a bit glassy and the beard sticky with Viktor’s wetness. It’s so erotic the younger clenches his fingers harder, tugging at Jayce’s hair who gives him a little smile so sexy it nearly makes Viktor come undone. “I’d stay here for fucking hours if you let me…”

And oh, Viktor believes him. He really does, with the way Jayce dives down again, his tongue fucking into him so fast it makes loud squelching sounds fill the empty space of his room, bouncing off the walls alongside of Viktor’s whines.

It’s all so fucking warm and wet and intense and he doesn’t know what to do with himself, with how much he trembles, tugging at Jayce to get closer, kiss his lips harder…

Jayce removes his mouth with a loud smack and Viktor almost yells at him.

“Wanna fuck my face baby?” He pants, and the younger’s mind short circuits for a moment, the words stopping his brain from functioning.

Jayce leans in to caress his folds with just the tip of his tongue, as if he can’t stay away for too long.

Viktor lets out a breathless groan, his left calf spasming on Jayce’s wide back. The mere thought that the man is so drunk on him is enough to make his head spin. He never wants Jayce to move from between his legs, and judging by the blissed out expression on the other’s face, the sentiment is shared.

He starts to nod frantically before he reflects himself. Jayce wanted him to use words. 

“Yeah I… Please, I want to.” He whines, blinking off the stray tears from his eyes that roll down his heated cheeks. The smile Jayce gives him in return is predatory.

“Good boy.” A hand caresses his thigh as several sparks fly through Viktor’s nervous system. Oh. “So fucking good for me, asking for what you want. Let me reward you sweetheart.”

Viktor honest to gods whimpers at that, dizzy with the praises spoken into the sticky heat of his cunt. Jayce’s strong nose rubs between the lips there and then he moves higher, to finally wrap his burning hot mouth on Viktor’s dick and suck.

Viktor screams and doesn’t even register it at first. It’s immediately too much, his hips writhing to get away but Jayce’s lips dutifully follow, the brain-melting sensation intensifying.

Viktor is crying, both hands in Jayce’s hair, little sobs and gasps leaving him as he jerks upwards, right into the hot seam of Jayce’s mouth, over and over again until his stomach is in knots and his whole body feels on the edge of falling down. 

“Jayce, fuck, fuck, fuck, Jayce,” it’s barely audible, no breath left in his lungs, everything tensing to the point of breaking. And the older man is still relentless, sucking harder, pressing closer, swallowing everything Viktor has and more. 

This time, Viktor’s orgasm does not sneak up on him. This time it's an inevitable, unstoppable force, a wave taking down everything in its way. 

Viktor starts tensing, more and more, the spark in his groin becoming a burning flame. His spine arches, mouth opening in a silent gasp, thighs placed on Jayce’s shoulders flexing as he releases.

He makes a sound, a pitiful, high pitched one, and the feeling of Jayce’s own answering groan right into his pulsing cunt is enough to make him gush another wave of slick, soaking Jayce’s chin even more. Only then the pressure on his clit eases in favor of that talented tongue to start lapping up at his still dribbling release. 

It’s an almost out of body experience, the blissful pleasure of cumming caused by the heat of someone’s mouth, the intimacy of it making Viktor’s bones melt. He’s unable to think, to feel anything but the overwhelming affection towards the man whose face is still pressed to his core, just breathing him in loudly and leaving kisses in between each pant.

He realises he’s still sobbing, legs shaking so much they’d fall from Jayce’s arms if he wasn’t holding them gently. Viktor looks down to where the man’s head is resting on his thigh, glassy, unfocused eyes staring up at him. He somehow looks almost as affected as Viktor feels.

“Jayce.” He whines, more tears falling, and it seems to break whatever trance the man got himself into. He gently takes Viktor’s legs off of himself, leaving a reverent kiss on each knee, before following up with his lips, tracing feather-like pecks on the younger’s thighs, then hips and stomach, his chest. 

When he’s finally kissing off the salt of tears from Viktor’s cheeks, Viktor is almost wailing, grabbing at Jayce’s back to pull him back on him, to anchor him with his weight again after he drifted so far away that he doesn’t even know where he is anymore, lost in the depths of the ocean of sensations too strong to be put into any clever words.

“Viktor, baby, what’s wrong?” Jayce sounds a bit alarmed, one hand cupping the burning cheek, the other sneaking under Viktor’s lithe frame to press him closer into Jayce’s strong body.

Viktor just shakes his head, too overwhelmed to answer, hands clutching to the hard planes of Jayce’s back muscles as he hides his face in the man’s chest, breathing in his scent and soaking in his warmth.

This is dangerous. He already knew he’s hopelessly ruined for anybody else, but now that fragile, blooming feeling inside his chest scares him even more than any unfathomable lust ever could.

How is he supposed to ever let go of Jayce after this? After baring himself like that, putting everything that he is into the warm, calloused palms of Jayce’s hands, trusting him not to hurt him?

“Baby.” Jayce nuzzles into the soft hair on the top of his head and he sounds so desperate that Viktor makes himself turn his face away so he can face the man, cheeks stained with tears, lips red.

They just look at each other, for a long moment, chest pressed together in a way that puts their beating hearts as close as physically possible against each other. Eyes roaming and memorising each detail of the other’s faces. 

“I need you.” It comes out a little croaky, a little too quiet. Jayce presses their foreheads together.

“You have me.” He insists, with such certainty in his tone, that Viktor is powerless to believe. “Everything that I am. It’s yours.”

And Viktor’s eyelashes are sticky with wetness and he feels as if his body is not entirely his but it all fades in the face of such dedication, such fondness.

“Kiss me.” Viktor pleads, and Jayce follows immediately, sealing their lips together so tight that no one could tell them apart. And wouldn’t it be everything Viktor wanted? To bleed into Jayce’s body so they could be one.

It’s freeing, to let himself cry as their lips meet again and again.

Viktor lets out a shuddering breath that Jayce immediately swallows, the muscles pressing him down on the bed making his brain pleasantly empty again. The warm body on him is a shield between the reality of the passing time and the bubble of their fragile affection. 

He’s painfully aware that he’ll never be able to recover from this, and yet he’d still choose it again, would choose to give Jayce all that he has every time.

Jayce’s thighs clothed in the dark denim rub against his bare, sensitive skin and he moans, raising his good leg to press against Jayce’s dick, straining against the fabric. The answering sound the older man lets out makes a shiver run down Viktor’s spine.

And Viktor is suddenly desperate to return the intimacy that Jayce gifted him with. He wants the man in his mouth and to feel the weight of him on his tongue. Despite never trying anything like that before, there is no fear nor embarrassment in him. Jayce would help him, guide him, he’ll take care of him no matter what.

Viktor moves his kisses to the side of Jayce’s face, right under his ear.

“I wanna taste you too.” He confesses, pressing himself closer to the bulge to feel it twitch.

Jayce groans into his neck and his beard is still slightly damp and yeah, Viktor would love it very much to have Jayce all over his mouth so he could combine their tastes in another filthy kiss, one more thing that he’d never imagined wanting to experience before Jayce.

“You’ll kill me, baby.” Jayce murmurs the words into the skin of Viktor’s neck and the younger recalls having a mole in that exact place his lips brush. When Jayce raises his head to look at him, his eyes are blown wide, golden irises almost invisible. “We’ll have to move positions, is that alright?”

And Viktor just smiles and nods, letting out a small “please” that Jayce kisses off his mouth greedily.

When Viktor is finally dizzy from the breathless way they make out, Jayce plants the last peck on his nose and then pushes himself up from Viktor’s naked body.

“Give me just a second, doll.” He pulls some of the covers over Viktor and then gets up completely, leaving the bed. The younger can hear his steps in the hallway, but his brain is still too mushy to process what's going on fully. He blinks slowly and starts to move up the bed to prop himself against the pillows when a soft click of the door being closed announces Jayce’s return. 

“Easy, baby, let me help.” He sits next to Viktor on the bed before the other can wriggle too much, the mattress dipping under his weight. Strong hands move Viktor’s body around until he’s propped against Jayce’s warm side, arm around his back supporting his spine, blanket pooled in his lap giving him a bit of modesty. 

Viktor moves his head up to look at Jayce and meets eyes full of affection staring right back at him. A damp cloth is gently swept over his face and Viktor only blinks again, observing Jayce’s careful focus. His cheeks also look slightly wet and Viktor realizes he must have wiped himself too before coming back.

He’s a bit lost in thoughts and the cool glass pressed to his bottom lip startles him just a little.

“Drink.” Jayce’s voice is gentle yet commanding, wrapping around Viktor’s mind once more. He lets himself relax against the strong body, eyes closing as he obediently sips at the water that Jayce carefully offers him, propping his head on the flexing bicep.

It’s nice, like everything with Jayce is. His stomach is gently petted, and after he finishes the whole glass Jayce leaves a kiss on the top of his head, making his eyelashes flutter.

“So good to me baby.” Another kiss right above his mouth. The unwavering attention that Jayce gives him so generously still makes Viktor’s world spin. His legs press together. “Do you still wanna take me in your pretty mouth?”

Viktor whines and nods vigorously, turning his head to rub his nose against the skin of Jayce’s shoulder. Gods, he’s so warm and he smells so fucking good, Viktor can’t wait to catalouge another thing about the man; his taste.

His eagerness earns him a chuckle as Jayce moves away from his side slowly, rearranging him on the bed as he goes. It pulls at something deep in Viktor’s stomach, the ease in which he’s grabbed and moved around like he’s just a toy, a doll as Jayce called him, not a grown man. It makes him wonder about all the other scenarios that perfectly controlled strength of the man could be used.

Jayce props him on the side of the bed, a blanket now wrapped loosely around his shoulders that the man kisses with piety before covering with the soft material.

Viktor is blushing, feeling warm and fuzzy all over, like a teenager in love faced with the first gestures of affection in his life.

Then Jayce stands up and Viktor feels a completely different type of pull deep in his stomach.

Like that, Jayce is completely towering over him, his crotch perfectly at Viktor’s eye level. The bulge in his pants looks almost intimidating.

Long fingers slowly push into his hair, stopping at the back of his head and pulling it slowly so he can look up at the man, neck cranking just the tiniest bit.

The smile Jayce sends his way is different. He looks… predatory. 

Viktor’s thighs clench together.

“Still sure you can take it?” There’s something so deliciously condescending about it, about the way Jayce looks at him with pity almost. “Can you take a real man’s cock?”

Viktor whines but Jayce just laughs again, and then pushes Viktor’s face into his groin by the back of his neck. 

Viktor pants against the material with an open mouth, feeling the burning of the shaft even through the thick denim. The place he’s pressed to is wet in one spot and Viktor’s eyes almost roll back at the realization.

“Please,” he mumbles quietly, lapping at the dick still hidden from him. He can feel just one more twitch before he’s being pulled back, the tingling in the roots of his hair sending sparks of electricity all the way down his spine. 

He whines at the loss of contact but Jayce just shushes him, his left hand landing on the belt buckle. Viktor almost whines again at the sight.

“Don’t act like a slut, darling.” The man’s attentive gaze bores into him as the words roll off his tongue slowly, as if testing the waters. “The impatience doesn’t suit you.” 

And the contrast between the insult and the pet name is enough to make Viktor’s eyes roll back for a second, a wanton groan leaving him, hands clawing uselessly at the thick thighs in front of him, still clad in dark denim.

“So eager.” Jayce’s fingers leave Viktor’s hair to cup his face, thumb rubbing at his bottom lip. Viktor’s tongue darts out to lick at him but then Jayce’s finger slides in his mouth to pin the muscle down. “Come on, sweetheart, play nice… You’ll get what you want soon enough.”

And Viktor’s eyes drop to where Jayce is unbuckling his pants with one hand, fingers slowly working the belt open, the clank of metal loud as a gunshot in the quiet room.

Saliva pools in Viktor’s mouth and around the finger holding his tongue, but he doesn’t dare to whine in complaint, breathing hard as he observes Jayce’s every move.

Jayce hums with appreciation, taking out his slick finger to pet at Viktor’s lips again.

“That’s my good boy, see, I knew you’d be a quick learner…” He interrupts himself with a quiet groan of relief as he finally unzips his pants, sliding them down enough to show his dark boxers, tented so obscenely that Viktor’s cheeks burn.  

The strong smell of the man’s natural musk hits him so unexpectedly he almost chokes on his next inhale, fingers tangled in Jayce’s pants flexing.

There’s a darker spot on the boxers in front of him and Viktor’s mouth falls open involuntarily. 

“You want it baby?” Jayce’s hand slides lower to wrap itself loosely around his throat and the younger’s eyes flutter, threatening to close, but he forces the heavy eyelids up to stare at Jayce with as much want as he can muster. Jayce, however, tuts disapprovingly. “No words for me, darling? Alright then, you can always show me.”

And he pulls Viktor in by the throat with just enough force to make him dizzy from the pressure but not hurt his windpipe. Viktor buries his nose in the damp underwear, his mind going absolutely blank on how close he is to Jayce’s manhood.

It’s so warm when he rubs his cheek over it, gulping in deep breaths. When he glances up through his lashes at Jayce the man groans, his other hand coming up to put a strand of hair behind Viktor’s ear in a too sweet gesture for such a filthy act.

“Fuck, angel, you look so…” He doesn’t finish, but Viktor can see how his chest is glistening with sweat from the effort to stay still. It makes a shudder of pride run through him, another little sound escaping his lips as he slowly starts mouthing at the twitching shaft.

Jayce groans, muscles of his thighs flexing.

“Please,” Viktor mumbles in between kisses, stopping at the head that he lightly sucks. The wet cotton is a little salty as he drools over it, not entirely unpleasant but the thought of hot skin hidden under it is what really makes him squirm in his seat.

“Fuck, how could I deny you when you beg for cock so sweetly?” Jayce sweeps a thumb under Viktor’s eye, his palms so, so gentle that his dirty words barely register. “Off, darling.” 

And Viktor allows himself just one tiny whine before he obediently moves back, breaths heavy. Jayce’s fingers squeeze approvingly as his other hand, the one with equations still smeared over the tan skin, hooks over the elastic of his boxers to tug them down.

The man’s erection slaps his stomach after he finally frees it, precum glistening on the red tip peeking from under the foreskin.

He’s thick and deliciously long, proportional to the fact that everything about Jayce is just huge. Viktor can’t even think about how he’s gonna fit all of that inside of him, he just knows he has to.  

Jayce grabs himself by the base, giving his cock a lazy pump as Viktor watches, eyes a bit hazy.

“Open up baby, give me your tongue…” His thumb caresses gently at the skin under Viktor’s jaw as the younger follows his instruction, his core throbbing with arousal. Jayce hisses and squeezes himself once. “Fuck, just like that, yeah, aren’t you a sight, doll?”

Viktor is pretty sure he’s red all over, the blush reaching down way past his chest and hickeys left there. He’s trembling slightly with how badly he wants to please Jayce. 

The man gently slaps the head of his dick on Viktor’s waiting tongue. The first contact makes Viktor shudder, hands clenching on Jayce’s thighs. The older one smiles down at him, moving his hips just so, smearing himself all over Viktor’s upper lip. The saliva starts pooling inside Viktor’s mouth but he keeps them open just like Jayce asked him to, the weight of the cock on his tongue slowly becoming familiar, soothing even.

Fingers around his throat rub the burning skin there.

“Good, so good baby…” Viktor can feel himself getting wetter at the praise. Some spit dribbles down his chin and Jayce uses his dick to gather it back up with a small moan. “You can try closing your mouth, slowly, beware of your teeth sweetheart.”

And Viktor complies with a small whimper, sucking only at the tip and closing his eyes for a brief second. The warmth, the taste, the soft texture. The strong masculine smell of Jayce, finally not separated by any fabric between them.

It’s all so much. Almost too much, but Jayce’s hand on him is grounding. 

He hears a curse from above him and Jayce’s fingers move from his cock to Viktor’s mouth, trailing their stretch. 

“Fuck, you look like you were made for this.” Warm palm moves up into his hair, sweeping them from his forehead and holding tight by his skull. That delicious pressure again. “For me.”

Viktor makes a high pitched sound, eyes blinking open to look up at Jayce. The intensity of his gaze makes him squirm.

“Gods you’re beautiful… Now please focus, baby, alright?” Jayce tugs at his hair just enough for Viktor to lock eyes with him again, cheeks burning from his compromising position. “One hand on me, cover what you can’t fit in your mouth, I’ll help you. The other hand on my thigh, if you feel like it’s too much and need a break, you tap my leg three times, understood?”

And Viktor moves away just enough to slide the dick out of the way so he can answer, the head propped on his chin and twitching once.

“Yeah.”

Another curse, another muffled groan as he uses his right hand to grab at Jayce’s manhood, his fingers barely meeting. There’s a vein running by the whole length and Viktor wants to follow it with his tongue, so he does. He starts with the tip and then moves until his nose is pressed to the wiry hair on Jayce’s abdomen. 

“Fuck, darling… spit on me, it’s gonna get easier to move your pretty hand.” The way Jayce says it sounds almost casual, an offhand comment. As if it didn’t make Viktor’s cunt dribble slick on the covers he sits on. 

Viktor lifts his head almost shyly from where he was nuzzling against the base of the man’s cock, trying to position his lips above it. It feels filthy, to let the drool fall down from his tongue right on the hot skin, to observe how it shines on it. 

“Good boy, just like that, use your fingers darling…” Jayce’s praise once again hits him like a drug, sweet and addicting. He hesitantly moves his palm to smear it around the bigger part of the dick that he’ll definitely won’t be able to fit in his mouth and then leans in to lick at the head again, over and over, tasting the precum there.

Jayce’s hand in his hair tightens as he takes the tip in again, his sucking a bit more confident now. He finds a rhythm, a bit shallow and probably showing his inexperience, but Jayce groans as if he’s a trained whore getting him off. Whenever Viktor feels brave enough to glance at him up from under his lashes, Jayce’s eyes are always fixed on him without turning his gaze away even for a moment.

The sounds of his hand moving and lips sucking are obscene in the silence, Jayce’s groans and praises the only thing interrupting them.

“Fuck, can I try something, baby? Relax your throat for me.” Jayce uses both of his hands to tilt Viktor’s head up slightly, and then thrusts his hips forward just an inch.

It’s not enough to make Viktor gag, just to make him feel the drag of Jayce’s cock on his tongue, the fullness in his mouth. He tries to loosen the muscles of his jaw some more and with the next slow thrust of Jayce’s hips, he’s able to take him in a little deeper.

He does gag a bit this time, panicking slightly and moving away to cough shallowly, eyes watering. The hand in his hair pets him gently, its presence familiar and calming.

“Easy, darling. Don’t force yourself, if it’s too much—”

“No, please.” Viktor almost cringes at how whiny he sounds, but he pushes forward, letting the man’s dick smear the wetness all over his cheek. “Just… help me?”

Fingers on his throat flex for a second, a deep breath leaving Jayce as he exhales, other hand still caressing Viktor’s dark locks. 

“Of course. I’ve got you sweetheart, let me do the work, alright?” His tip slips into Viktor’s waiting mouth, his head gently tugged by his hair in the right position, making Viktor shiver. “Just relax, don’t fight it. Don’t be scared if you gag, you can still breathe, remember. Tap me if you start feeling too lightheaded, though.”

In the back of his mind, Viktor wants to giggle. Jayce really is a teacher, through and thorough, he sounds as if he’s explaining a math problem and not how to make Viktor suck him off better. 

(The younger has a vision of himself on his knees under the man’s desk as Jayce does a lecture, warming him up through it. It’s enough to make his body tremble once more.) 

This time, Jayce is even slower with the way he rocks into Viktor’s mouth, letting him feel his whole length fully. It’s a truly sinful pace, deliberate in the way Jayce has a perfect control on how deep he enters Viktor’s waiting lips.

The rhythm starts working on the younger man too, making his brain feel like it’s made of sweet molasses, his anxious thoughts leaving him once more to make room for the pleasant, floaty feeling.

He doesn’t have to wonder if he’s doing a good enough job, if he should move his hand or head more. Jayce is fully in control, forcing Viktor’s mind on the backseat, just the feeling of here and now mattering.

Another thrust, deeper, and Viktor doesn’t gag. Drool is slowly dripping down his chin, the sight of Jayce’s abdomen’s muscle flexing as he moves making his cunt clench on nothing.

When Viktor finally chokes he barely notices it. He just lets it happen, tears falling, Jayce’s steady pace not wavering. He fucks Viktor’s mouth like he owns it, and the thought alone is enough to make the younger man’s eyes roll back. 

Fuck, but it feels good to be used like that. To be reduced to just a tool for Jayce’s pleasure, as it’s taken from the wet heat of his mouth, from the tightness of his throat. Viktor’s jaw is aching and yet he never wants the moment to stop. 

He doesn’t even register the moment when his hand leaves Jayce’s cock, falling uselessly in his lap, and the man goes steadily deeper, in that cruel, unhurried pace, until Viktor’s nose is once again buried in the thick hair around his groin.

He’s lazily scratched behind one ear.

“Deep breaths, darling.” And Viktor can’t even hear his own thoughts now but this voice, this voice could reach him anywhere. He inhales through his nose, head spinning from the scent of fresh sweat and musk. He feels insane with want. “That’s it, doll. Now swallow.”

And Viktor swallows, slowly, choking slightly at how deep down his throat he can feel Jayce and how the man’s palm massages his skin gently from the other side. If he could, he’d tell Jayce that he wants to stay like that until the sun burns out, but with a mouth full of cock he can barely manage a whimper.

The man above him moans so low it feels almost pained.

“Gods, Viktor, just look at you… Taking me like that on your first try? You were truly made to be mine, fuck, you’re so good for me.” 

Viktor feels as if he floats in the air, high above his body. If he could nod, he’d tell Jayce, yes, yes yes yes, all yours, I was always meant to be yours, please.

Jayce groans again, pulling out a bit to continue fucking his face, his grip on Viktor’s hair becoming tighter.

“Ah, shit, you’re a sight, baby, fucking trembling for it. Do you think about it now? How it would feel to fuck your cunt? Bet it would be even wetter for it than your slutty mouth, huh?”

Jayce’s voice is so hoarse it feels as if it’s scratching against Viktor’s brain and all of his nerve endings at once. He whines louder, thick cockhead hitting the back of his throat, his cries muffled by Jayce’s own grunts. 

“Fuck, I’m close sweetheart, you look too damn pretty for me to last, ah, let me just pull out…”

And the mere thought of it is just unbearable. It feels as if Viktor will die if Jayce lets go of him now, the man’s body and presence the only thing keeping Viktor anchored to reality, not letting him fall so far under that he wouldn’t know how to climb back up.

Jayce is everything and he needs him, he needs all that the man could give him. He wants it, so bad that he throbs for it. 

Jayce starts to pull out when Viktor’s free hand flies to his other leg, grabbing at the meat of his thigh and pushing him back in his waiting mouth.

The man moans and curses in surprise, fist tightening even more, trying to tug at Viktor, but it’s futile. His stomach tenses and Viktor feels the cock on his tongue throbbing, spilling hot wetness down his throat.

Viktor’s palms lose their strength and Jayce’s hips finally snap back, making him slip out of Viktor’s lips, last spurts of cum hitting his face, sliding down his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose.

Viktor is lightheaded, gulping air he was deprived this whole time in quick, deep breaths. His eyes are blurry when he finally opens them, blinking rapidly. Above him, Jayce is panting as well, sweat shining on his bare chest, golden irises dark as he watches Viktor.

“Baby… fuck…” the fingers on his throat move up, as the man uses his thumb to smear his release across one of Viktor’s burning cheeks. He seems transfixed by the sight of it, tracing the thick droplets down to Viktor’s ruined lips that the younger obediently opens, showing off the remaining cum on his tongue.

Jayce makes a sound that seems to tear straight from his guts and drops to his knees, grabbing Viktor’s head in both of his hands to kiss him deeply. 

The affection that Viktor feels is like a living thing inside of him, scratching at his chest from its place above his heart, trying desperately to escape outside. 

Jayce kisses all over his face, not caring about the mess of saliva, cum and tears on it. Viktor would probably feel self conscious of all the body fluids shimmering on his skin, but he feels a too dazed for it.

“You didn’t have to swallow…” Jayce looks a little sheepish, as if he didn’t just lick some of his own release off of Viktor’s tongue. The filthiness of it all still makes the younger shiver. “Are you feeling alright? Can you use your words, sweetheart?”

Viktor catches himself nodding, but the urgent going in Jayce’s eyes makes him push through the heavy fog wrapped around his brain.

“Yeah. ’m good.” He croaks, his throat not exactly hurting but definitely worn down quite a bit. Jayce just huffs a small laugh and then reaches for something behind Viktor, which turns out to be the washcloth he brought earlier.

“I’m glad, then.” He hums, his breath still a bit irregular as he gently begins wiping Viktor’s face from the top. Viktor lets himself close his eyes again and fall into the comfort of soft material caressing his skin. Jayce leaves a kiss on each place he cleans. “Though I still went a tad too hard for your first time, I’m sorry.” 

Viktor’s eyelashes flutter open at that, nose scrunching.

“If I wanted it gentle then I’d ask for it.” He mumbles, trying not to blush harder at the sweet pecks Jayce leaves on his cheeks. Christ, he just got his throat fucked hard enough to get hoarse, and yet the simple intimacy of Jayce showering him in affection after was what made him want to hide under the blanket. 

“I know, I know darling… I don’t wanna coddle you, I just want to give you the best experience I can, alright? I don’t want you to remember it as me pushing the limits of what you can take.”

Viktor ignored how the words made his heart do somersaults in place, traitorous pulse quickening significantly. Jayce just looked so damn cute when he was worried. 

“I tell you what,” Viktor puts his index finger between the man’s brows to smoothen the wrinkle there. “Next time you can let me go at my pace for hours if it makes you feel better, but you’ll probably regret that.”

And he doesn’t even have time to curse himself for planning things ahead, for being presumptuous about any kind of next time with Jayce, because the wide grin the man sends him is almost blinding. 

“I won’t. Regret it, I mean.” Jayce laughs, and he looks at Viktor with adoration the younger only ever heard of in love poems he read as a kid. 

“Good. I’d hate to catch you going back on your word.” 

“Never. Not about this, not about you.” It’s almost too sincere, too much of a confession, something that definitely shouldn’t happen yet. Maybe days, weeks in, after an appropriate amount of time has passed, after they’ve danced around each other long enough for it to sound more honest to someone listening in.

But there’s no one else. No one else but them, their bond, new and yet shining brightly. Viktor knows, with an almost frightening conviction, that he’ll never connect with another person like this again. Immediately, overwhelmingly, inevitably. 

This is the type of passion that happens once in a lifetime. Viktor can not explain it but he knows it as well as he knows his own name, that there is nothing more true in the whole wide world than the way Jayce looks at him when he’s kneeling at his feet.

“You promise?” Viktor whispers the words, aiming for playful but missing by a mile with how his voice trembles. Jayce doesn’t hesitate.

“I swear it.” 

And Viktor knows he does.

He lets out a shuddering breath, letting the burning in his core flare up, letting the blanket that Jayce oh so carefully wrapped around him fall from his shoulders. The man swallows, mouth opening as Viktor slowly parts his thighs, letting Jayce catch a sight of his folds covered with fresh wetness, pink cock peeking from under the hood. 

A muscle in Jayce’s jaw twitches as he observes, fingers that he rested around Viktor’s ankles tightening their grip.

“Please?” Viktor knows he doesn’t have to put on a show, but he feels addicted to the way Jayce looks at him. He slips his hand down and spreads himself open with two fingers, feeling himself dribble down on the covers. Jayce’s nostrils flare. “You promised me more, Jayce.”

The older man swallows two more times before responding, eyes still down on Viktor.

“You… you still wanna…?”

“Yeah.” Viktor slowly takes his hand back, reaching to tangle it in Jayce’s hair. Finally, those gorgeous golden orbs come back to his, spitting image of the lust he himself feels. “Everything.”

And it’s natural, the way he leans back and Jayce moves up, how they fall into each other easily, Jayce following his body like Viktor has his own gravity field, the man helpless against his pull.

His mouth finds Viktor’s, chest pressed to chest. Two puzzle pieces that were always meant to fall together, to find each other. 

(Viktor has a delirious thought about how he could probably live off Jayce’s presence alone, if given the chance. Feed on the affection from being kissed from those uneven lips.)

It’s everything he needs and still somehow not enough. Viktor whines high in his throat, pressing and pushing at Jayce’s back, trying to make him do something, anything, just so that the aching need in him goes away.

“Jayce, hah, more, please, want your hands in me, you promised.” He knows he’s babbling, overwhelmed with Jayce’s presence all around him, but he can’t find it in himself to care. All his brain cells got fried by the fire Jayce ignited in him.

The man kisses his forehead once and kneels on the bed to put Viktor’s hips in his lap but the younger shakes his head, arms reaching up for Jayce.

“Nooo, not like that… hold me, please?” And now it tetters on the edge of pathetic, but Jayce looks so fucking fond with him that the very tips of Viktor’s ears burn. He can allow himself to be so pathetic, just as long as Jayce never stops looking at him like that.

Strong hands lift him and push his body gently up the bed. Viktor tries to not shudder in arousal at how easy it is for the man to just move him around however he pleases.

“Lay on your left side, baby.” And Viktor follows his instructions easily. He looks over his shoulder, distracted, watching as Jayce gets rid of the rest of his clothes, his thick thighs finally presented to Viktor in their full glory. He wants to one day rub himself over them until he comes, Jayce’s palms on his hips, sweat dripping down his spine.

The man climbs on the bed behind him and suddenly Viktor is enveloped in Jayce’s arms like he belongs there. 

His loudest thought is about skin. So much skin, naked and warm, touching him. Jayce’s skin, on Viktor’s. Their bodies pressed to each other, Jayce’s chest to his back. His head pillowed on the man’s bicep, his bad leg resting, placed over Jayce’s own. Half hard dick laying on the inside of his left thigh, still wet from Viktor’s spit.

Jayce tucks his chin against his shoulder.

“You’re shaking.” He points out quietly, and it’s only then that Viktor himself realizes that.

His body is rocked with small trembles and he can’t control it, only able to hold on to his already slipping consciousness. It feels like too much, too good, too soon, but also it’s finally truly what makes him feel complete. 

Jayce, all around him, warm and solid, one of his hands placed above Viktor’s heart and the other caressing his stomach in slow circles. This is finally close enough. There’s only one more thing they could do to truly become one.

Jayce’s finger wanders downwards, into the thick hair covering Viktor’s mound. He pets there absentmindedly as his mouth trail kisses on the side of his lover’s neck.

“Viktor.” Jayce’s beard tickles behind the flushed skin of the younger’s ear. “You’re with me, sweetheart?”

The fight for control on Viktor’s side is lost. He feels as if all of his bones have turned into jelly, leaving a creature made out of pure desire in a place where once stood a promising young scientist. Now it feels as if he’s nothing without Jayce’s touch.

He groans, leaning his head back to find Jayce’s mouth with his. He doesn’t stop whining until Jayce gives him his tongue, calloused fingers moving to cover his cock, circling it in tiny strokes.

It’s electric, how that sharp pleasure makes his whole body tingle. Jayce’s other hand falls from above his heart, lower until he cups Viktor’s breast and squeezes, Viktor’s body tensing, mouth going slack.

Just when he feels like the heat inside his core might start to build, Jayce stops his fingers around his clit and dips them under, tracing up and down his folds.

Viktor uses it to catch his breath, openly panting as the older man continues to just feel around his sex. When he finally opens his eyes that he didn’t even realise he closed, Jayce’s burning gaze is already there, fixed on his face to witness every little reaction.

“You’re so fucking responsive...” There’s an astonishment in Jayce’s voice so adoring that Viktor doesn’t even think about covering the blush that colors his cheeks. The touch of the pads of Jayce’s fingers on him is both arousing and comforting, making him used to their intimate presence. “Makes me wanna stay like this for hours.”

The perspective of Jayce just touching him like that for however long he pleases makes something dark in Viktor’s mind rise its head in interest. How many things he doesn’t know about himself will Jayce help him discover?

“Don’t tease,” he moans, arching as much as he can in Jayce’s tight hold as the man’s fingers finally brush his hole. The thick digits rub around and only after a moment Viktor notices that Jayce is coating them in his wetness. The realization makes his head spin. “Please, just put them in, please.”

Jayce noses at his temple, middle finger placed on his entrance.

“Easy, darling, let me savor you, alright?” He plants the last deep kiss on Viktor’s mouth. “Deep breaths baby.”

And then he presses his finger slowly but surely inside Viktor.

The thing is, Viktor has fingered himself in the past as he tried to get himself off in an attempt to relax his body and mind. The feeling was alright, yet nothing to write home about. He quickly abandoned his attempts of masturbating like that in favor of focusing on his clit.

Now, the sheer difference in size between his and Jayce’s hands is what’s making him reconsider all that he knew about pleasure.

Just one of Jayce’s fingers is enough to press all the right places at once. The man is not moving it an inch, just keeping it there, but Viktor already feels absolutely fucked out, trembling from the reality of finally having Jayce deep inside him.

Jayce licks a hot stripe up his neck, past his jaw and then into his lips. It silences some of the noises Viktor makes involuntarily as the finger inside him slowly starts to move.

It shouldn’t feel this good. Viktor might not have any experience in sex but he knows his body, he’s tried this before, and it never was a fraction of the toes-curling feeling he’s experiencing right now.

“Jayce, Jayce, fuck, JAYCE,” he can barely keep up with how fast he gets completely overwhelmed, body writhing in the man’s tight hold. The finger in him keeps moving up and down, and when it’s deep inside Jayce curls it slightly to pet at a spot that makes his whole cunt tingle.

It feels like Viktor’s body is too small to fit all of the sensations wracking through it. The repetitive motion of Jayce pushing into him also brings the heel of his palm to brush over the younger’s neglected cock with every move, which makes Viktor’s hips jerk as if there was pure electricity coursing through his veins. 

“You’re so fucking soaked baby,” Jayce groans the words in clear worship, his eyes jumping from Viktor’s face down to his hand moving between the younger’s legs, as if he can’t decide what he wants to watch more. “I wanna give you another. Are you okay with that, doll?”

It’s touching, how Jayce expects him to be able to form a coherent thought when he’s up in him to the very last knuckle.

Viktor barely manages to get out a broken “Please”, before Jayce is pulling out of him. 

He almost protests at that but then there are two digits pushing into his hole and his mouth goes slack with the feeling, a singular mewl leaving him. 

Oh this is different. Two of Jayce’s fingers would be the size of three or even four of Viktor’s, thick and so fucking good as they press inside. It’s also different because of how distracting it feels when they move slightly differently inside him. 

The stretch is tight but not too much. Viktor can breathe through it easily as Jayce moves his hand slowly, his beard tickling Viktor’s arm as he kisses his shoulder in worship. 

“Still good?” He murmurs into Viktor’s freckle-dusted skin, rubbing around the sensitive nipple with his other hand. 

“Yeah, come on.” Viktor struggles to keep his eyes open, clutching to the sheets and Jayce’s wrist to ground himself. It doesn’t really work like he wants it to, as the feeling of the man’s forearm moving as he pushes his fingers deeper into him is making Viktor lose his mind.

“You’re doing so well for me, darling, just a bit more…” Sweet, sweet words that Viktor knows are not true. Jayce said that he’ll have to cum on his fingers first before he’ll get his cock, after all, and the anticipation is enough to make Viktor clench down. 

Jayce’s sharp teeth bite at his skin; a tease and a warning.

“Don’t fight it. Relax, just let it happen baby…” Jayce licks around the bite mark, and then curls his fingers harder than before.

Viktor arches in his hold, a sharp movement that would hurt his spine if not for Jayce’s strong arms blocking his body from thrashing too much.

The pressure eases, allowing Viktor to relax back in Jayce’s embrace, his breathing irregular again.

“What… what did you…” He struggles to get out a full sentence, fingers in him still moving, gently petting around that spot that made him almost scream just moments ago. 

He didn’t even know one’s body could be capable of such strong sensations, it all was supposed to be exaggerated gossiping of maidens that he overheard at the bar here and there. It wasn’t supposed to be an actual thing, even less a thing that could ever happen to him and his body that he always perceived as an unattractive burned rather than a treasure capable of pushing him past what he knew about pleasure.

He just never thought that when he finally had sex it would be like that. Changing, both him as a person and the way he saw things around him.

Instead of answering, Jayce licks into his mouth again as he rubs harder at that spot inside Viktor that makes his thighs shake.

It’s intense. The way Jayce seems to be everywhere, finding every last sensitive place on Viktor’s body with an almost frightening ease. 

Jayce sets a new rhythm, pushing against Viktor’s sweet spot with the calloused pads of his fingers every time he slides the digits in, the squelching sounds almost drowning out Viktor’s filthy moans.

“You’re so hot inside, fuck.” Jayce is also breathing hard but it’s not from exertion, the broad chest heaving against Viktor’s back. His pupils are so dilated that the golden irises are almost completely hidden. “You’re as hot around my fingers as you were on my tongue… I can’t wait to put my cock inside your pretty cunt. Feel you squeeze on it.”

The mouth that man has on him. Viktor groans and trembles and it does nothing to ease the pressure on that one spot inside him that’s making the fat tears fall from Viktor’s eyes right on the man’s bicep.

“Jayce… Jayce, more, ah, please.” He’s squeezing down so much it feels like he should hurt Jayce, but the pace he sets does not falter even one bit.

There’s that condescending chuckle right in his ear and Viktor shivers so much he knows Jayce felt it, pressed to him from head to toe.

“You think you can take another? You feel pretty tight on just two of my fingers baby, I’m not sure…” He fakes the hesitation, and Viktor knows it only because of how he can feel the man’s dick twitch where it’s laying against the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.

“Come ooon, I want you inside already, get on with it, please Jayce, give me more, give me— uh!” All the air leaves Viktor’s lungs as Jayce abruptly takes his fingers out of Viktor and then slaps the wet lips of his pussy with enough force to make the man scream.

It’s like a shock to his system, the hot sting of the man’s palm on his most private area making his eyes roll back for a second, before the same fingers that just spanked him get pushed forcibly inside him, three at once this time. Viktor’s mouth can only open wider, saliva gathering in the corners as he can’t take a breath, his lungs and whole body on fire.

He understands now what Jayce meant, saying that he might not be ready for him yet, the fingers in him filling him so much he feels ready to burst. 

“I told you to take what I give you, baby.” Jayce’s tone is so low and gravely that Viktor can feel it like a physical thing, wrapping around his mind and scratching at the back of it with possessive claws. “Don’t act like a bratty slut now, you’ll get what you want soon enough. Wasn’t I good for you?”

He curls all three digits to rub Viktor, hard, and the younger one almost wails with how overwhelming it feels. He’s never felt this full in his life.

“I asked you a question, sweetheart.” Jayce’s voice gets even deeper, just like his fingers, and Viktor lets out a shaky sob, feeling his cunt spasm around the almost too harsh thrusts. “Wasn’t. I. Good?”

“You—, hah, please,” Viktor’s nails scratch at Jayce’s forearm, trying to grab at him uselessly, but he can’t decide what he would do if he managed to get a hold on the man. Push him away? Pull him closer? 

“Use your words.” The way Jayce looks down at him, effortlessly propped on his elbow when Viktor is struggling to keep his eyes from rolling back into his skull is as hot as it’s maddening. He can’t think, not with three of Jayce’s fingers working in and out of him with such abandon that his whole body is trashing, muscles tensing up with every push and pull.

“Good… so… good… Jayce, I think… I’m gonna…” Viktor can’t focus enough to let out a full sentence. The pressure of Jayce’s fingers is so much that he’s trembling, mind-numbing sparks of pain-pleasure wrecking through his whole body. His cunt is tingling in a different way than before, the overwhelming stimulation from his hole instead of his dick making his hips jump in place, tight feeling in his abdomen intensifying. 

Viktor suddenly has a terrifying thought that he’s gonna piss himself if Jayce won’t stop applying the pressure in that one spot, but when he opens his mouth to warn the man, Jayce chooses that moment to grind the heel of his palm hard on the sensitive, cherry red tip of Viktor’s little cock. 

The tension snaps, Viktor’s whole body goes limp, and he squirts all over his thighs and Jayce’s forearm. 

He’s too out of it to notice how Jayce only stops fucking into him with his fingers once the last weak spurts of wetness become but a small stream dribbing down his cunt.

He can’t think or feel, legs and hands shaking so much that he would feel concerned for the state of his body, if not for the long, sweet kisses placed all over his cheeks and closed eyelids. The shushing noise that Jayce makes forces him to realize he’s crying and babbling under his breath.

“Good, so fucking good for me baby, I’ve got you, let go, I’ve got you… Fuck, I can’t believe you really… That must have been the first time you did, huh? Gods, you’re so perfect for me…” Jayce’s voice is so reverent, small groans sneaking in between the sensual way in which he licks up Viktor’s tears.

Viktor needs him like he’s dying, like the world is ending. He wants them to only ever need each other to survive. Jayce can drink his tears and blood and consume his flesh and never interact with another human again without the knowledge that they would never agree to be his in a way that Viktor desperately wants to be. He needs Jayce now and he needs the man to need him back as they will both be nothing without the other after this night.

That need. That need will be his downfall.

“Viktor.” Jayce’s left hand holds his face up, warm, grounding. Fingers of his right hand are still deep in Viktor, unmoving, the full feeling they give the younger a pleasant, welcomed sensation. 

“Jayce.” It’s a plea, a question, and an answer all at once. Looking up at the man is like looking into an eclipse. He can’t focus his gaze, the dark stare Jayce regards him with is the most he’s ever felt seen in his life.

“You’re perfect. All of you. All for me.”

“For you.” It’s easy to agree. Viktor does not want to belong to anyone else. He wants to be Jayce’s, whatever the man will need of him. A lover, a doll, a slut, a sweetheart. When he’s like that, one word from Jayce is enough for him to follow.

“Gods above, I want you so much.” Jayce’s forehead falls on his. He’s holding Viktor so tight that the younger can feel the frantic beating of his heart on the thin skin of his shoulder blades. “Can I get inside you, baby? Please?”

And Jayce must not know how desperate Viktor is for him to ask like this. And maybe it is better that he doesn’t, so Viktor can hide his aching heart under the waves of unashamed lust, covering the yearning with fierce passion.

“Yes, yes, Jayce, everything.” He whimpers when those thick fingers leave him slowly, gently, unlike the rough way they entered. He observes how his release drips down the length of Jayce’s arm, how he puts the wet digits into his mouth and moans as he licks them clean.

Unashamed. Desperate. 

Viktor is making these little breathless noises again but he doesn’t care about anything anymore, pulling at Jayce until the man moves, untangling himself from around Viktor to lay between his legs, this time chest to heaving chest. 

It’s so intimate that Viktor doesn’t even stop more tears slowly and freely sliding down his cheeks. He doesn't break eye contact too, observing his own reflection in Jayce’s golden pools, focused solely on him like Viktor crying under him is all he sees. All he needs to see. All he wants to see.

His cock is burning hot as it lays on Viktor’s pussy, twitching in the rhythm to the pulsing in Viktor’s oversensitive clit. He’s drooling precum all over the younger’s happy trail.

“Darling… fuck, I don’t wanna hurt you, do you have any lotion here? You’re soaked, gods, but I just wanna be sure…” Jayce trails off, hot breaths and beard tickling the soft skin under Viktor’s ear as he leans to nip at it. 

Viktor’s eyes flutter shut, sparks of pleasure like a gentle caress on his mind, heavy and free of worry. This is it, this is how they were always supposed to be, just a little more…

The slow drag of Jayce’s hips make his length slowly slide over Viktor’s, forcing a small mewl right out of his half parted lips. 

“Viktor.” There’s urgency so great in Jayce’s tone that the younger forces himself to make a desperate attempt in gathering his thoughts together. 

“The nightstand… I have… I have oil there, barely used, it never… it never felt…” Viktor can’t even get the sentence out with how dry his mouth feels, because Jayce looks at him as if he’s a prey.

“You tried to touch yourself, baby?” That damned tone again. “Poor thing, it must have felt so underwhelming, with nobody there to teach you how to do it right…” Jayce’s warm, warm fingers stroke the inside of his thigh, the bad one that’s supported and propped on Jayce’s hip. Viktor can’t hide the shudder that runs through him.

“Don’t tease, not now, Jayce, please…” Viktor bites at Jayce’s neck and it’s so weak it’s almost pitiful but the groan Jayce makes resonates through Viktor’s whole body. Yes, yes, this closeness… It’s almost perfect, almost what he needs.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry V, fuck, I can’t think around you, gods, I wanna eat you alive every time I think about how I’m your first…” Jayce’s voice is quiet and hurried in his ear, as if the words are escaping him without his full consent, a shameful admission that burns through Viktor like a flame incarnated.

It’s a sensation hard to fit into words to feel Jayce leak more onto his heaving stomach, to feel it dribble down his waist.

“Yeah, Jayce, only you, it was only ever you, come on, I need you.” Viktor’s nails scratch at Jayce’s back and the man moans loudly before reaching blindly to Viktor’s night stand, almost knocking over the small vial on it. He then grabs it and kisses Viktor the same way he did in his tiny hallway; like he wants to mash their souls together into one with the sheer force of will.

And Viktor kisses him right back, just as hard, one hand tangling into his longer hair to pull the man even closer. 

He’s lightheaded with anticipation, hearing the squelching sounds of Jayce fisting his cock with the lotion-covered palm, lips bruising with the intensity of Jayce’s kisses. 

The first touch of the tip nudging his entrance is electric. Overwhelming. It’s actually happening and Viktor suddenly can’t make a sound, breathless as Jayce lifts his head to look at him.

“Ready?” He almost whispers and, heavens above, for the first time he looks almost nervous himself. His soft gaze jumps all over Viktor’s face, trying to catch a sign of hesitation, discomfort, fear. 

But there’s none. Viktor wants him so much he’s aching for it, and there’s just no room for doubts. With an unavoidable finality, he feels whole for the first time in his life. 

“Yeah.” He joins their foreheads and Jayce pushes in. 

It’s hard to think of anything. Jayce is thick and burning hot as he slowly eases inside him, and even with how stretched and pliant Viktor is after all they’ve done together, the man still feels huge.

Still, it’s nothing short of perfect. Viktor breathes in the air Jayce exhales with how close they are, and lets himself feel full. Complete.

“Jayce.” His voice is just as quiet as the man’s was. Their hips are pressed flush to each other and when Viktor looks down between them, panting, he chokes on a groan seeing how they’re joined. His engorged clit rubs at the wiry hair on Jayce’s groin.

“Oh, fuck, Viktor,” Jayce sounds frantic, his hands trembling where they hold the fair skin, and the strength he uses is great enough to leave bruises. Viktor wants nothing more but to be branded with the shape of Jayce’s fingers on him forever.

He digs his own nails into the older man’s back, forcing him to lean his full weight on Viktor’s body. Pressed down into the mattress like that with their sweaty chests joined together and Jayce sheathed deep inside him, Viktor feels free. He allows himself to let go of everything he was clutching to. Control, worry, consciousness. All that’s left is his deepest hidden instinct, pure desire to get fucked harder than he ever thought possible.

“More.” He pants, and he braces himself as Jayce’s body tenses under his hands, hips moving back slowly to sink back into him at the same, infuriatingly gentle pace. It still forces a punched out sound from Viktor, the feeling of Jayce’s cock moving inside him like nothing he has ever experienced before. 

It feels as if his body is being reshaped to accommodate the girth of the man’s cock and the realization is so arousing that Viktor makes a whimper that almost immediately gets swallowed by Jayce's greedy mouth. Now they are really joined together more than it ever seemed possible to Viktor for two humans to be.

Jayce changes the angle, his hips driving in just a bit faster and Viktor’s eyes roll back.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah, Jayce, Ja— ah!” Viktor can’t feel his own tears falling down his cheeks, the whole world around them slipping from his grasp as the head of Jayce’s cock pushes repeatedly against that spot inside him that makes Viktor feel boneless. 

This is everything Viktor thought he’d never have. Overwhelming passion from another person that changes the trajectory of his life. The pure physicality of it, the intimate act of raw need.

Jayce moves faster and his grunts make Viktor clench down on his length, the wet sounds of their bodies moving making his cheeks heat up. Jayce kisses and licks at his blushed skin, with all the tenderness of a lover, while his hips set a punishing pace making him fuck Viktor like he hates him. Fast and hard, Viktor's spine arching off the bed from how overwhelming it gets. 

It’s just them here. Their moans, the slapping of skin, the heat rolling through Viktor’s core, the feeling of Jayce’s muscles rippling with each thrust as his nails slide down the strong back. 

It’s addicting. The urgency of Jayce’s mouth, pressed to Viktor as he murmurs his name right into the alabaster skin like a prayer. The fullness, Jayce fucking his cunt like it belongs to him, hands sliding up and down Viktor’s body as if the man is trying to memorize him by touch alone.

“Baby, fuck, you feel so good, so tight for me, just me, my Viktor, fuck.” Jayce secures his hold on Viktor’s bad leg, his fingers gentle and attentive, a stark comparison to how his hips work with reckless abandon, making Viktor’s stomach bulge with how deep and hard he thrusts.

Viktor could not utter a word out if he tried, only whimpers slipping past his incoherent babbling, a string of drool connecting his lips to Jayce’s. The man does not falter from his angle aimed right at Viktor’s sweet spot, and even despite coming three times already, the younger knows that the tight feeling burning in his abdomen can mean one thing only. 

He can’t focus enough to tell Jayce that he’s close, his hands coming up to pull at Jayce’s hair in a wordless plea that the man immediately grants him, reading Viktor like an open book. He ends his adoring staring and brings their mouth together, slipping his hand down between them to rub at Viktor’s cock with a motion so sensual the younger is powerless to hold on any longer.

The orgasm that wrecks through him steals all the air from his lungs. It’s powerful, all-consuming, and Viktor can’t suppress the scream that tears from his throat. Jayce is still moving, groaning himself, Viktor’s name and pet names all mixed up together. He might be praising Viktor, he might be cursing him, it’s hard to tell through the ringing in Viktor’s ears.

He’s shuddering through aftershocks so intense that only Jayce’s heavy body stops him from trashing. The man’s cock thrusting into him over and over again makes him feel like he’ll never stop cumming, a particularly brutal move from Jayce making some of the squirt splash over his abdomen. Jayce lets out a guttural sound, purely animalistic, that shakes Viktor up harder than he thought possible.

With a final push deep into Viktor, Jayce stills, his cock twitching and pulsing as he cums with a low moan, longer hair falling around his face like a curtain.

It’s quiet, only their ragged breaths and overstimulated gasps breaking the stillness of the room. The air is heavy, thick with the smell of sex and unspoken, choking feelings that burn in them.

Jayce’s forehead finds his, falling on it so naturally as if it has its own gravity, pulling the man in. Through the little aftershocks that make his used cunt spasm around the length softening inside him, Viktor realizes that Jayce is scanning his face with his warm gaze, one corner of his mouth raised.

“What?” Viktor sounds breathless, his own mouth twisting into a smile that he’s unable to suppress. Jayce just huffs a laugh, fully grinning himself and leans down to kiss him sweetly.

And even despite what they just did, despite the feeling of Jayce’s cum, warm and slowly leaking around his shaft, that’s what makes Viktor feel like there are butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

 

***

 

The first thing Jayce feels after slowly waking up is the presence of another person wrapped in his arms.

It’s a slow process, as he’s definitely not a morning person, and the warmth of the sheets and skin pressed to his is comfortable enough to lull him into a pleasant state of half consciousness.

A singular, adorable snore is what finally makes him blink his eyes open.

In the soft light of the rising sun, Viktor looks less ethereal than he did under the moon’s glow, but no less beautiful. If Jayce had to be honest, beautiful doesn’t even quite fit the description. 

Viktor is just about the most stunning person that Jayce has ever seen in his four and a half decades of life. The shoulders and cheeks dusted with light freckles, chestnut hair that curls at the ends. His eyes, bright and clever, and so, so expressive. 

Now that they’re closed, dark eyelashes flutter slightly with his every exhale. His gorgeous prominent eyebrows and nose are relaxed as he sleeps, but Jayce can’t shake off the memory of them scrunched up in pleasure. Head thrown back, lips parted, neck marked with the love bites Jayce left there.

Gods, there’s so many of them. The blanket is tangled somewhere around their waists and with his whole torso bare and on display, Jayce can clearly see all of the places he left bruises on that lovely pale skin. 

Some of them look painful. Angry red, as he bit harder than he intended when in the throes of passion. Viktor never pushed him away though, his whimpers and moans getting even louder the harder he went.

Janna, he was so stupid. Completely irresponsible and too lovesick to make a rational decision, “thinking with his dick” as Caitlyn would oh so graciously sum up.

Viktor’s face is pillowed on his bicep and there’s a tiny bit of drool in the corner of his mouth. 

He’s so young. So young and trusting and he held Jayce like he needed him, took him like he wanted him, kissed like he loved him. And if Jayce was a better man then none of it would happen but now there was no force strong enough that could stop him from coming back to the boy, over and over like a stray dog when it gets treated to some food after months of starvation.

Except it was longer for Jayce. It had been years since he last felt his heart burn like that, no flames of his family’s forge hotter than the affection Viktor made him feel. This was no arousal, not yet love, but something stronger and more inevitable than the combination of them both. 

(Jayce observes Viktor’s peacefully sleeping body and accepts the fact that from now on, he’s never going to be able to walk away from this person, even if demanded it.)

Another small snort escapes from Viktor’s slightly parted lips and he stirs more firmly, a little groan following a sleepy sigh.

Jayce’s heart is so full it’s hard to keep his hands from shaking. He lifts his free arm to gently tuck one of the unruly locks behind Viktor’s ear. His fingertips linger there, as the memory of the previous night overtakes him. How red the skin there burned yesterday, when he slowly slipped out of Viktor’s body, a load of his cum gushing out of the pretty pink lips of the other’s pussy. How Viktor looked embarrassed but so satisfied when Jayce slowly fingered the spend back into him, careful to not tease his cock with his ministration. 

He did clean them both after. Carried Viktor to his tiny bathroom, as the younger’s legs shook too much to hold his weight, which made Jayce both proud and worried. He washed them both under the lukewarm water of the shower, Viktor nodding off through most of the process. He didn’t want to eat anything too, but he accepted the water Jayce provided for him, sipping the liquid with his eyes closed, humming softly the whole time. 

Jayce waited until he went to sleep, counting his breaths and just looking at the lovely face of a Zaunite man that trusted him with more things that Jayce probably deserved. It was very late into the night when sleep took Jayce too.

Now the steely-gold orbs of Viktor’s irises slowly take in the world around as the man wakes up, his body tensing and relaxing, muscles stretching and limbs bumping into Jayces. That gives him a pause, and the adorable wrinkle between his brows appears as Viktor looks up at Jayce more lucid than before, only to find the man already watching him.

He’s probably acting weird, but with Viktor all warm and gorgeous next to him in bed, it’s really hard to care about any form of social etiquette or norms.

“Hey.” He greets softly, and his voice is raspy from sleep and all the talking yesterday, but judging by the shudder that climbs up Viktor’s spine, the man doesn’t really mind.

“Morning.” He mumbles back, turning and twisting in Jayce’s hold until he’s managed to nuzzle right under the sharp line of Jayce’s jaw. He lets out a small content sigh and Jayce would kill to have a morning like that every day from now on for the rest of his life.

There’s probably many things they need to talk about. Jayce would really like to discuss Viktor’s academy application, help him with it as much as he can. He wants to see the prototype they talked about yesterday, and ask about his family. Go to the pharmacy with him and make sure they get the man some medicine preventing pregnancy. Plan the possibility of moving in with Jayce, as his apartment is very close to the Academy complex, and it would just be practical…

Viktor leans away from Jayce’s chest to look up at him, eyes squinted.

“I hope you’re okay with making us breakfast and getting absolutely zero help from me, as I am not leaving the bed, no matter how disgusting… Wait, did you change the sheets?” Viktor cranes his neck to look around them, the shock on his handsome face making Jayce laugh.

“Yeah, I did. You were dead to the world by the time I was done so I’m not surprised you don’t remember.” He leaves a small kiss on the beauty mark under Viktor’s eye, his favorite beside the one above those full lips.

“That’s… well…” The blush creeping up Viktor’s marked neck is a new shade of pink. Jayce wants to lick it so he does.

“And,” he relishes in the way Viktor arches into his touch immediately, just as starved for it as Jayce is hungry, slim hands tangling themselves into Jayce’s hair to keep him close. “I’m more than fine with taking care of breakfast, baby. Just… five more minutes?”

And there’s many things Jayce wants to talk about but when Viktor smells so warm and inviting, like fresh bed sheets and sweet milk and Jayce…

And he’s smiling, the man is smiling as he pulls Jayce down to crash their mouths together, and he only stops when Jayce slides down between his legs, a trail of saliva and kisses left down Viktor’s abdomen, that lovely unfocused expression replacing the lazy content one as Jayce’s tongue licks inside him with a renewed vigor.

They have time to talk. To make breakfast, to get through all the awkward conversations they need to. To truly get to know each other. Jayce will make sure to get them as much time as they both want to, as there’s not a thing he won’t give Viktor, not a wish he won’t grant.

For now though… just five more minutes.

 

 

Notes:

biggest thanks to my beloved monty and isaac, who's also the author of the breathtaking art by the end! i owe you everything guys, this fic would not have seen the light of day without your help ❤️

also, as always, biggest thanks to my wonderful beta Turnip for putting time and effort into making this one readable:D

 

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