Chapter Text
Father Tadeo was left to his thoughts after his most recent sermon, the pews empty, the room silent. His most recent sermon was about past sins and how to cleanse one of their thoughts. If only he could confess to anyone as so many have done to him. The countless adultaries, thefts, and much worse…
As he walked further away from the center he looked at the confessing booth. Eyeing it and wishing he could do something for himself. Anything to get rid of the fear and guilt he had. He couldn't quite put a finger on why he would feel that any time Fernando would get close. Fernando was a horrible beast, capable of anything, and yet the moments he was soft and almost teasing the father, would make him have a pit in his stomach.
How could hands that could beat a man grab him so gently, so possessively… how he hated it. He hated how calm he could stay and that stupid smirk on his face. Walking closer to the confession booth, he slid his hand over the worn door. How many people had come here, prayed and confessed here over the years. How many people took his words deeply and how many times that horrid man would say his lies and leave like nothing.
Opening the door, he sat down and prayed. Even if he didn’t have anyone, he could speak his truths to God. This was his home after all, the lord’s house. “God hear my plea. Cleanse me of this confusion, this hatred, this fear for a mortal man. Have the evil leave this place, Mother Mary purifies my soul and lends me your love. Take these strange thoughts away from me. Leave this man in the furthest pits of hell. Have the Devil himself take back his beast...”
As Father Tadeo prayed out loud in the confession booth, a quiet pair of boots touched the church's steps. Fernando took his hat off and held his laugh when he heard the father’s words. Wondering who or what he could be talking about. A beast? The Devil? His chuckle soft and conniving, ah it must be me.
“ Haven’t you ever heard, Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Can’t stop thinking about me Padrecito?”
Father Tadeo was quick to turn, his face flushed and anger swelling. “What are you doing here? I told you I will not do your confessions anymore. I will not be an accessory to your crimes.” His thumb rubbing over his cross anxiously. The strange feeling rising from his chest.
Fernando walked with intent, each step slow and firm. The smirk on his face grew wider. His hat was thrown onto a nearby pew. “I thought I would return the favor Padrecito.”
Father Tadeo stepped back as Fernando’s pace quickened, his hand gripping onto that door again. Fernando grabbed that same hand and pulled it to his lips to kiss it as he had many times before. Father Tadeo’s heart jumped and his face grew more flush. Why was this feeling worse than before? Was it because his silent church was almost a echochamber of his thoughts out loud? Was it because of the LAST person he would want there was seeing him at his most vulnerable?
“So what can this Beast do for you? Anyone you are crossed with I could fix? Or do you want to finally give in and find yourself a good time with one of the local women.” Fernando teased as Father Tadeo pulled his arm away with disgust. Rubbing his hand on his priesthood garb. The warmth of Fernando’s lips from his hand would not leave.
Fernando looked at his face and confused at why such a reaction. He had teased and ridiculed the priest plenty of other times. He’d even scared the man into silence and guilt. What else could he be worried about? “ Please… forgive me from… missing your sermon from today. Would you be able to give me a more personal version? What was it today?”
Father Tadeo gulped and took in a breath before answering.” It was a lesson you really should have been here for. On past sins and how to cleanse themselves of it… but you are too far gone and will be condemned when your time comes.”
Fernando stepped up at eye level and laughed. “Then what good is it to confess? I did my Hail Mary’s didn’t I? Or would I need to do more. Maybe have you put in a good word for me?” His husky breath lingering and making the Father nervous again. What was keeping this man from doing more harm?
As if right on que, Fernando grabbed the Father’s wrist and pulled him down onto his knees. The priest was now looking up at Fernando and noticed just how big he looked at this point of view. How muddy his boots were and how easily he could get kicked. As he was about to ignore his emotions Fernando grabbed the priest's face. His thumb and middle finger squeezing his face.
“For such a proud and religious man you look weak, pathetic even. How people have faith in you and your words I will never understand.”
Fernando then let the priest go and cackled. “Ay Padrecito you really are just a man. Not very strong if that quick pull was all it took to take you down. Then again you are so used to being on your knees for your God aren’t you. Get up, talk to me like a real man.”
Father Tadeo stood up and dusted off his clothing, fixing the robes before scowling at Fernando.” Do not speak in such a tone under God’s house.” His finger pushed into Fernando’s chest, only for him to grab it and push him towards the confession booth. Pushing inside until both uncomfortably fit in it. The darkness of the small space normally was a peace for the priest but this time it was too much. Too much inside a small space. Too close to a man who's been known to kill. Too close to a man that made him truly fear the Devil.
“Tell me Padrecito. Your… confession… Do you really fear me? Do you really hate me? That much? That you pray to your God to get rid of those feelings? What else do you fear? What else do you want to go away?” Fernando breathed a bit heavily, the small area with both grown men in the booth.
Father Tadeo sitting on the bench with his back pressed hard into the wall, while Fernando had one leg on the ground and one knee on the bench looming over the priest. It was then that Fernando noticed something, as he was grabbing onto Tadeo’s wrist he could feel it. The quickened pulse. It was already fast, but now it was racing. Looking at his face he could barely make out in the shadows, Father Tadeo was breathing quickly and looking anywhere but him. As if he was some animal trapped in a suffocating cage.
“What? Never been this close with anyone before? I forgot, as a man of god you shouldn’t indulge. Scared you’ll like being this close to me?” That’s when he let the hand go and grabbed the priest by the jaw and neck. It was hot, his skin was flushed and his pulse was throbbing harder. Could it be?
“Oh… you scared huh? Scared what I could do? Nobody else is here, if I killed you, nobody would know it's me. Noone saw me come in. I wasn’t seen here today at all…”
Father Tadeo could only bite his lip from trying to shout in a panic. The small booth was feeling hotter and in this position, Fernando was leaving more of his weight onto him. Fernando’s body pressing further into him made him finally let out a whimper. It was deafening compared to the breathing in the empty room. It was a sound Fernando was pretty familiar with, but was not the reaction he thought he would get from the priest. Could it be?
Fernando twisted the priest’s head to make him look directly at him. His fingers digging into Tadeo’s jaw and making him gasp in pain.
“Padrecito its your turn to confess. Here. Now. What do you think of me? Besides fear and hatred…”
“I don’t know! Let me go. I told you no more confessions. Get off me… no space in here…” The priest tried to move his legs. His thigh rubbing against Fernando. His heart racing as he struggled to get out. Fernando’s grip moved lower to his neck. His eyes looking at the disheveled priest. The heat from the booth making some hairs stick his forehead. Then he felt it. Under all the layers of clothing, he felt it.
“Ay Padrecito… are you really sure you are scared of me?” His other hand going down Father Tadeo’s chest. Each button being roughly pulled out of place. His hand going into the white shirt and ripping the buttons off. Trying to test his theory. The priest was quick to use his hands to pull his garb back together, embarrassed this man could see him like that. All Fernando could think was how he could later use this information for his benefit.
As quick as it all happened, Fernando used his back to open the booth door. The door creaking and banging loudly as it hit its limit. Fixing his shirt and grabbing his cowboy hat before looking at the priest.
“Until the next sermon. Maybe I’ll join you for it this time. Better fix yourself up some I think I hear someone coming…” And just like that he left. The priest was out of breath, his face burning and his stomach aching. Closing the door quickly to try and fix his collar, robes and shirt, when he heard a young woman knock on the other booth.
“Father? Are you there? I… needed advice.”
“Ah mija… give me a moment. I was.. Recollecting myself but can hear you.” Using his fingers to fix his hair and fan his face.
“Isnt this your booth Father?” She said, confused. As she was about to open the door another young woman called out for her to hurry. She blushed and told him she would need to come another day.
As she left he locked the booth and tried to breath and calm down.
What had just happened and why was he not able to calm down.