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Darcy bought Charlie a sex toy for his birthday last year. He remembers the situation vividly. They’d acted like it was a really funny joke in front of everyone, inferring to the contents of the gift bag they had with innuendos and sly looks in Charlie’s direction, and Charlie had turned bright red, clutching the gift bag close to him so no-one would actually see it. But, when Darcy dragged him into a separate room so he could open it without an audience, they’d elaborated on the true intentions behind the present.
Conversations about deeply personal things are nothing new to Charlie and Darcy. Charlie knows details about Darcy’s childhood that not even Tara knows and Darcy knows all about Charlie’s constant battle with his body image and, more notably, the insecurity he harbours about sex. And, before he pulled the yellow tissue paper from the gift bag in front of him, they’d told him that they came across a new sex toy range, targeted towards disabled people. He remembers how he was near tears at his best friend’s thoughtfulness and how he actually did cry when he pulled out the box and Darcy started pointing out all of the features. It would’ve been weird to cry over a mauve coloured vibrating wand with two different attachments but… he and Darcy had a conversation once about how he felt weird not being able to masturbate like other guys did, having to use a cheap bullet vibrator instead of his hands, and they had fixed that for him. One of the two attachments was made to wrap around his cock so he could mimic the action and pretend it’s a hand. Yes, it was still a sex toy and who the fuck buys a sex toy for their friend? But, at the same time, Darcy hadn’t done it as a joke. They found him a way to experience sex in his own way. And that meant everything to him.
So, naturally, he uses the toy a lot. He’s never really tried the other attachment, mostly because it requires a lot of prep that he can’t do alone, but he definitely uses the first attachment most of the time. At least when Nick isn’t available.
Nick doesn’t know about this toy. Charlie’s not entirely sure why he’s not told him yet. He’s not necessarily hiding it from his boyfriend, he knows Nick would most likely find it hot if he ever found out, but it’s mildly embarrassing. They’ve only been together for six weeks, how is he supposed to look his newly-acquired boyfriend in the eye and tell him he’s been jacking off to thoughts about him for almost a year with that very toy?
Nope, definitely not happening.
Smiling up at Aled, Charlie clutches onto their hands and brings himself into a standing position from his shower stool as Aled wraps a towel around his waist. Aled tucks the towel in a way they’ve finessed over the couple of years they’ve been Charlie’s carer and steps back with a flourish, making Charlie laugh. Aled echoes him with their signature soft chuckle.
“That’s everything for tonight, right?” they ask. “Nick’s helping you with everything else?”
“Yeah, thanks, Aled,” Charlie replies, smiling. “And no more apologies about Daniel’s surprise, you deserve a break.”
Aled sighs. “I’m just glad Nick’s willing. I know you don’t trust any of the other carers.”
Charlie doesn’t say anything to that, just gives a coy smile and follows Aled out to the front door, looking around questionably for Nick. He could’ve sworn he heard Nick clean up from dinner just five minutes ago. But Aled regains his attention by securing the towel once more and smiling serenely. Charlie pulls open the front door for them and they both exchange farewells, Charlie wishing Aled safe travels, before Aled walks off to the door of the flat building and Charlie shuts the door with a sigh.
“Nick?” he calls.
Only silence greets him and he’s even more confused. Nick has to be home, right? He didn’t hear him leave earlier and, if he did have plans to go out, he would’ve said goodbye. So there’s definitely nothing to say he’s not at home. He starts walking towards their bedroom.
“Nick?”
Then, as he looks through the doorway and sees Nick sitting on their bed, he freezes, acutely aware of his reddening cheeks. Because Nick’s holding his sex toy. The one that Darcy gave him. It still has one of the attachments on the end of it. Nick raises an eyebrow at him, a small smirk on his lips.
“Care to explain?”
Charlie starts to stammer, frozen in the doorway, and he’s unable to get a full word out. Nick’s smirk widens as he stands up and steps towards his boyfriend, still holding the toy. Charlie doesn’t know where he should look, swallowing visibly under Nick’s gaze.
“I asked you a question, baby,” Nick murmurs, using his empty hand to tilt Charlie’s head so their eyes connect.
Charlie lets out a light pant and licks his lips before he says. “W-Well… I use it when…”
This is why he hasn’t told Nick about this toy. What the fuck does he even say? He continues to try and scramble around for the right words. Nick watches him, amused, and interrupts Charlie’s second attempt of an explanation.
“Do you use it when I’m not at home, my love?” he asks softly and Charlie feels his cheeks burn even more, which makes Nick chuckle a little. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Then he drops his hand from Charlie’s chin and starts tracing the tattoos inked into Charlie’s skin with his fingertips. Charlie’s breath hitches at his touch as he and Nick maintain eye contact and he bites his lip when he feels Nick circle his nipples, one at a time.
“N-Nick,” he pants, a slight whimper leaving his throat.
But Nick doesn’t reply, nor does he avert his gaze. His stare stays on Charlie’s face, his lips still wearing the small smirk, and Charlie has to stop himself from squirming. Nick continues to stroke his fingertips across Charlie’s damp skin before he drops his hand to take Charlie’s. Charlie takes his hand on instinct and follows him as Nick steps backwards to the bed. Setting the toy beside him on the mattress, Nick sits and pulls Charlie onto his lap, his hands sitting firmly on Charlie’s waist. Charlie swallows as he grips onto Nick’s shirt with his right hand, waiting for Nick to say something. Nick start rubbing soothing circles into Charlie’s skin, tilting his head slightly.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he whispers and smiles when Charlie nervously meets his eyes.
“I’m not embarrassed,” Charlie replies and Nick raises a dubious eyebrow. “Okay, maybe a little but you don’t know what it is I’m embarrassed about.”
“I don’t?” he asks with a smile that tells Charlie he knows exactly what Charlie’s embarrassed about. “So it’s not the fact that you think of me, even when I’m not around?”
Charlie stays silent and chooses to hide his face in Nick’s neck, making his boyfriend chuckle. He feels Nick kiss his head and rub a calming hand up and down his bare back, slowly coaxing Charlie to look back at him. Charlie doesn’t move, his face still burning from embarrassment. Nick speaks again, his tone more mournful.
“I’m sorry, Char, I shouldn’t have violated your privacy like that. I can forget all about it if you want.”
At this, Charlie sits up to look at Nick and shakes his head at Nick’s sad eyes, pressing their lips together for a moment.
“No s-word,” he says after they break apart and Nick stares at him.
Then Charlie reaches out to grab the toy with a sheepish smile, biting his lip again as he shows it to Nick. Nick looks at both Charlie and the toy, intrigued.
“It’s, uh, a-an accessible one?” Charlie starts. “Darcy found it for me after I… told them that I was struggling with not being able to use my hand to get myself off. It came with another attachment but I, uh, can’t use it because it’s a prostate thing and I can’t prep myself enough to make it work.”
Nick raises an eyebrow at that, which makes Charlie turn even redder than before, and smirks, his fingers toying with the edges of Charlie’s towel.
“So this helps with masturbating?” he clarifies.
“Yeah,” Charlie replies. “Or so I could… use it on you?”
He looks at Nick shyly, ducking his head a little, and Nick smiles wider, moving one of his hands to rest on his boyfriend’s naked back. He pulls Charlie in for a kiss, one full of love and reassurance, and Charlie lets his whole body melt at Nick’s touch. Nick’s fingers stroke up and down Charlie’s back in a featherlight touch, gently grazing the bumps of his spine, making Charlie relax further. Then Nick pulls away and his hands go back to toying with Charlie’s towel. Charlie pouts. Nick chuckles.
“I would love it if you used it on me,” he whispers. “But… there’s something I’d rather do first.”
Charlie barely has time to set the toy aside when Nick pulls the towel from Charlie’s body and slams their lips together, his big hands kneading Charlie’s bum cheeks as he pulls them apart. Charlie gasps against Nick’s lips and lets out a moan, allowing Nick to roll the two of them over so he’s staring up at Nick when they pull apart from the kiss. Nick grins down at him when he sees the darkness in Nick’s eyes, his own eyes widening at the hunger in them.
Nick presses another searing kiss to Charlie’s lips before he leans over to fiddle with something on his bedside table. Charlie takes the time to catch his breaths, trying to make sense of what’s happening right now. Nick found his toy. Where, he’s not sure. Not that he necessarily minds, he doesn’t want to hide anything from Nick anyway. But Nick found his toy and he’s admitted he wants to have Charlie use it on him. Just the thought makes Charlie’s eyes roll to the back on his head as Nick starts peppering more kisses to his skin, down his neck to his collarbone, and he feels his right hand bury itself in Nick’s hair to ground himself. Nick chuckles.
“You look so good right now,” he whispers reverently.
Charlie whimpers at his words and stares up at him with wide eyes. Nick just smiles and nudges Charlie’s legs open with his knee. Charlie lets his legs fall, completely exposing himself to his boyfriend, and gives out a breathless moan as he feels Nick’s slicked-with-lube finger trace his hole. He bites his lip, moving his head when Nick ducks down to mouth at his skin, and a shuddered gasp escapes his lips, his back arching under the sensation.
“You’re so beautiful, my love,” Nick whispers against his saliva-soaked skin as he slips his finger into Charlie’s hole.
Charlie bites back a moan as he pulls Nick’s lips towards his to capture them in a searing kiss. Nick follows easily as he slowly but meticulously opens Charlie up, one finger becoming two and two becoming three almost too effortlessly. Charlie's head falls back onto the pillow, breaking the kiss as a growing moan escapes his lips. Nick grins down at him and curls his fingers, burying his head in the crook of Charlie’s neck to press light kisses to his skin. Charlie gives a shout as a jolt of electricity shocks through him.
“How do you always get it on the first try?” he whines, feeling Nick chuckle against him.
“I pay attention.”
Charlie can do nothing but lay there as Nick continues to massaging his prostate, swearing under his breath and feeling his cock leak against his bare stomach. The shower he just took is definitely becoming redundant because of the sweat and precum he’s producing but he doesn’t care because he’s being loved and loved and loved by Nick. He’ll go through anything just to hear those three words come from Nick’s lips.
Is that concerning? Maybe. Does Charlie care? Not particularly.
When Nick hits Charlie’s prostate dead on a fifth time, Charlie starts yelping, babbling that he’s about to cum, and Nick lifts his head from Charlie’s neck to press their lips together in another mind-melting kiss as he gently pulls his fingers out of Charlie’s hole. Charlie whines in the kiss at the emptiness that follows and pulls away with a pout as Nick leans up. Nick chuckles again. Charlie watches as Nick wipes his lubed hand on the towel that Charlie had on and stands up to undo his jeans. He groans, staring at Charlie.
“You look so beautiful like that,” he says gruffly.
Charlie whimpers, resisting the urge to hide under the duvet. It’s stupid, he knows it is. Nick’s seen him naked pretty much every day since they got together and he always has the same look of adoration when he sees Charlie so bare but… it’s still a lot for Charlie. The amount of times he’d spent standing in front of his childhood bathroom mirror with scrutinising eyes, wondering who would ever find him remotely attractive, it does shit to the self-esteem. And Nick being his loving, affirming self and showering Charlie with endless compliments about every aspect of him, face, body, mind and heart, it still takes a moment for Charlie to believe him. He wishes it wouldn’t but that’s something to unpack later.
He stays watching Nick as he strips beside their bed and reaches for the lube once he’s naked, his cock standing wet and proud against his stomach. Charlie whimpers again, feeling an aching need for Nick to be inside him now. Nick squirts lube onto his angry-red dick and strokes himself with his big hand a few times. Charlie feels himself twitch at the visual and Nick smirks at him as he wipes his hand on the towel again. Then he steps back toward the bed and, in one swift movement, sits back against the headboard with Charlie in his arms, his back settling against Nick’s chest. Charlie lets out a squeal at the sudden change and giggles as Nick pulls him close, burrowing his face in Charlie’s neck.
“What’re you doing?” he asks softly.
“Hmm…” Nick hums, rocking the two of them a little. “Just… recharging.”
Charlie giggles again at his boyfriend as he feels a soft, lingering kiss be pressed against the back of his neck, followed by another. And another. Nick keeps pressing sweet kisses to Charlie’s neck and Charlie’s convinced that Nick’s trying to turn him into a puddle as he starts to melt at Nick’s touch.
“I wanna try something new,” he murmurs in Charlie’s ear. “Do you trust me?”
Charlie smiles and nods. “Forever and always.”
The way Nick squeezes his arms gently around Charlie’s waist in response makes yet another giggle escape Charlie’s lips before he feels Nick pick him up a few inches off the bed. He looks back at Nick, bemused, and Nick smiles.
“You said you trusted me.”
Playfully, Charlie rolls his eyes and goes to bite back a response when he feels the slightest nudge of Nick’s tip against his stretched hole.
Oh.
Oh.
Charlie’s cock twitches once more at the realisation. A new position. He’s never ridden Nick before. He’s not sure his body will be able to keep a steady rhythm so he never really gave it any thought. But, of course, he never factored in the idea of Nick helping him. And, well, the groan Nick gives behind him does things to him.
“God, this is so hot, Char,” Nick moans as he slowly guides Charlie down his cock. “Just watching you take me, you take me so well.”
Charlie moans too at the feeling of Nick filling him, making him feel whole. It doesn’t take long for Charlie to feel his arse settle against Nick’s crotch and both of them take in ragged breaths. A light hand strokes Charlie’s back as they both adjust to the new position. Charlie finds it hard to get a steady breathing pattern going because Nick’s cock is inside him in ways he didn’t think was possible and it’s stealing every deep breath he tries to take.
“You okay, baby?” Nick asks.
“Y-Yeah,” Charlie replies. “You’re just in so deep and it feels so good.”
Nick makes a pleased noise. “You feel incredible too, I don’t know how I’m gonna last like this.”
Then he groans when Charlie shifts a bit, instinctively tightening his grasp on Charlie’s hips.
“Can we move?” Charlie whines.
Another kiss to the back of his neck. Charlie’s eyelids flutter.
“Can you reach the toy, darling?”
It takes Charlie a moment to register Nick’s request as he keeps pressing kisses to Charlie’s skin. The toy? He drags his eyelids open and his sight falls on the toy that lays forgotten next to them on the bed. He swallows and reaches for it, depositing it in Nick’s hand and watching as Nick squirts another dribble of lube against the inside of the curved attachment. Then Nick gives the toy back to Charlie, moving his hands back to Charlie’s hips, and Charlie’s brain makes the connection just as Nick begins to speak.
“Show me how you use it on yourself.”
A moan leaves Charlie’s lips as Nick starts to suck a bruise to Charlie’s neck and, with a shaky finger, presses down on one of the buttons to make it whir to life. Then he slides the vibrating attachment down his leaking cock and a sharp gasp escapes his throat.
Nick keeps them both still as Charlie starts stroking himself with the toy, just watching on in awe of his boyfriend giving himself pleasure. Charlie’s head falls back on Nick’s left shoulder when he instinctively presses the button again for a harder vibration, allowing Nick full access to pepper kisses to his neck, and whimpers just fall from his lips at the dual sensation. His hips start to buck, causing them both to hiss.
“Nick,” he cries out, shuddering when he feels Nick’s right hand cover his to help him keep his rhythm. “Pl-Please, can you move? I need to feel you.”
“Yeah, baby?” Nick murmurs. “You sure?”
“Please, I’m not going to last. Wanna feel you.”
Then, when Nick starts to move like he asked, using his grasp on Charlie’s left hip to set a perfect pace that has him hitting Charlie’s prostate spot on with every thrust, Charlie lets out a scream. He can already feel the coil in his stomach grow tighter and tighter and his eyes roll back as Nick’s lips find their place back onto Charlie’s skin.
“You’re so hot, Char,” he says, snapping his hips up and smiling at Charlie’s cries. “You’re so tight, love, clenching around me like a fucking lifeline. Look at you.”
“Nick!”
Nick working him up before, as well as fucking him from behind like he is, has Charlie nearing his orgasm quicker than ever before and he feels his left hand start to twist itself in the duvet. He keeps stroking himself, wanting, needing to show Nick what it looks like, and he just knows Nick is staring at his dick like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. But, very quickly, the vibrations start to border on too much and he starts to speak, his voice an octave higher than normal.
“Nick, I’m gonna cum!” he cries, gasping at a perfectly-timed thrust against his prostate. “Please, please, please, Nick, can I cum?”
Nick groans. “Fuck! I’m close too, baby. You can cum, make a mess for me, darling.”
With one, two, three more strokes, thrusts and kisses, Charlie becomes undone, shooting ropes of white cum across his bare torso with a loud scream. His grip on the toy goes slack so Nick helps stroke the toy over Charlie’s cock to help him through it before Charlie starts to hiss from the overstimulation. Nick turns the toy off and tosses it on the other side of the bed so he remembers to clean it later before he continues to thrust shallow thrusts in Charlie’s hole. Charlie whimpers and moves his hips to meet Nick’s thrusts. Nick grabs his hips and pulls him close, grunting that he’s about to cum and how hot Charlie looked when he was getting himself off. Charlie clenches around his cock and he lets a cry as he cums, filling Charlie to the brim with his release. Charlie moans at the feeling and falls against Nick’s sweat-soaked chest once he feels Nick soften inside him. Both of them trying to catch their breaths, Nick wraps his arms around Charlie in an embrace and kisses his head. Charlie lays there, wondering why he tried to hide the toy in the first place.