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Judai’s kingdom will burn.
He's seen the truth in visions and omens. Seen blood fill the streets as fire engulfs it all. Shining towers darkened by ash, stone walls torn down to rubble.
His kingdom will burn and no one believes the truth.
Johan did, at the beginning. He listened to Judai's rambles of death and destruction with a grave expression. He helped Judai plan and prepare. He reassured Judai with a gentle tone that everything would be okay because they always had each other.
Judai doesn't know when things turned. Doesn't understand why Johan stopped believing him. But suddenly those gentle assurances turned to worried looks and disbelieving eyes. Judai’s coronation was only around the corner and his Crystal Keeper had already abandoned his side.
“This madness runs in your family, Judai,” Johan says in that sickly sweet voice that had once felt so calming. He reaches up to cup Judai's face, his palm cold against the flush skin of Judai's cheek. “I can see it in your eyes. They're not your own anymore.”
“It's not the madness,” Judai had tried to desperately insist. Clutching at Johan's wrists so hard he felt the warm press of blood under his fingernails. “These visions are real.”
Whatever Johan had said in reply was lost to the rush of blood pounding in Judai's ears. That sad, defeated look in his eyes as he pried his wrist out of Judai's grasp cut deep with betrayal and all that was left in its wake was a burning, bitter rage.
The following months Judai does not remember. Nothing more than flashes of bodies at his feet, blood on his hands, terrified looks thrown his way. But the flashes are more than enough for him to understand the damage he wrought.
On the day of his coronation, Judai had stood in front of the mirror, lucid for the first time in a while and had startled at the blazing golden eyes that had sneered back at him.
Madness did run in Judai's family. A curse inherited from the first ruler of their kingdom. A curse that had led his ancestors to start brutal wars, aspiring for complete domination. A curse that struck randomly, affecting very few of the Yuki bloodline since. But enough of them that the memories of the curse's effects ran like a dark stain down their lineage.
The Crystal Keepers had been the ones to stop the first of those affected, remaining loyal guardians of the Yuki bloodline since. Haou was brutal and cruel as he carved this land for himself. A tyrant in every sense of the word, he would have happily seen the world burned to ash at his feet. And the Crystal Keepers, brave and brilliant, had fought hard to put an end to Haou’s bloodthirsty reign.
So it was no surprise to Judai when Johan stepped into view behind him, gripping his staff tight, a mournful expression on his face. Honour bound Johan to his duty to protect the realm above all else, it was his vow as a Crystal Keeper.
In the mirror, Judai’s golden eyes stared back at him. The final warning of madness that had taken hold of his heart. In his current state, there was no bigger threat to the realm than himself.
There was only one clear ending to their story in that moment. Another Yuki lost to their cursed bloodline, barely a footnote in history. Judai could do nothing other than close his eyes and welcome his end.
“It's time for you to go, Judai,” Johan told him, voice heavy with emotion.
“I know,” Judai breathed, heart hammering in his chest in anticipation.
Really, he did not want to die. But he understood that he must.
And if he had to die by anyone's hand, he was glad it would be Johan's.
“Judai,” his cursed eyes flew open as he felt Johan grab his shoulder, blinking with confusion at the tense look on his friend's face.
“You need to go.” Johan continues, stressing the words carefully. “Yubel is waiting for you beyond this room. She'll look after you.”
“What are you–” Judai tries to ask, receiving nothing more than a stern look and a shove against his shoulder in return.
“Go.” Johan tells him again.
And against his better judgment, Judai obeys.
His kingdom will burn, but now it will not be by his own hand.
—
The visions don't stop. Judai's eyes still burn a terrible gold back at him through his reflection.
He doesn't know what possessed Johan to spare his life. To arrange his safe escape and cover his tracks. Judai is a danger to the world and everyone knows it.
So why? Why was he allowed to live? Kept under the safe care of one of his most trusted and skilled knights.
Yubel has always been a reliable presence at his side. Strong and loyal since they were both children learning to fight and lead. Even in the depths of his own insanity, Judai can see Yubel there, carrying out every order and demand without question.
Beyond loyalty, what reason could she possibly have to not only follow Judai to the ends of the earth, but care for him like she always has.
“I'm not going to let you kill yourself.” Yubel's words are stern as she slides a bowl of hearty smelling stew over the table towards Judai, and her tone is absolute. But there's a disappointment in her eyes as she looks down upon Judai like someone might look at a particularly pathetic bug.
The dismay is warranted, Judai decides. He used to be a prince, kind and caring and fair. He used to have everything at his fingers; the crown, the love of his people, riches and respect. And yet here he sits now. An outcast and an exile with only a tiny cottage on a desolate beach at the edge of the map to show for his worth.
“I'm not trying to,” Judai argues back, looking at Yubel with a raised brow as he pokes at his stew with his spoon.
It's not a lie, but it's not quite the truth either.
Judai doesn't sleep well these days. Between the visions of destruction to come and nightmares of the deaths already caused, the exhaustion is clear from the prominent dark circles under his eyes. He doesn't want to die – he never has wanted to – he would just like, instead, to be able to sleep for a while. Long and peaceful, so that when he wakes, everything will be okay again.
If he sleeps for long enough, maybe his eyes will no longer stare gold back at him.
“Maybe not,” Yubel agrees with Judai’s words, staring unblinkingly back at him, as if the eyes she looks into without fear aren't an omen of death. Her courage – or perhaps lack of fear completely – has always been something that Judai has admired about her. But now it just feels frightening.
“You're not exactly trying to live either,” Yubel continues, seeing through Judai's half-truth easily.
It would be hard for her not to, Judai supposes. Yubel had to be the one to whisk him away from his castle and smuggle him through the streets of his kingdom. Keeping them both safe and alive as they journeyed to the furthest coast all while Judai remained useless in fits of bloodthirsty rage or despondent depression.
Unable to argue against the one person watching his back anymore, Judai remains silent as he takes a bite of his stew. The flavour flat and lost to him as he forces himself through the motions to chew and swallow.
Yubel at least looks pleased by the show. Nodding once, she turns and makes her way to tend to their fire.
Outside, the sky is dark and the wind howls, blowing crashing waves against the cliffside. Somewhere in the distance, lightning flashes and in his warped reflection in the glass window, Judai's golden eyes burn brighter.
It frightens him. More than Yubel's unwavering confidence and faith in him ever could. Judai is terrified of himself and the things he knows he is capable of.
But most of all, he is terrified of the future and all it might hold for him.
That night, Judai lays down to rest in his small cot, Yubel laying five feet away from him, the outline of her figure and the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathes easy is lit by the dying firelight. Judai’s own breath feels tight in his chest as he squeezes his eyes closed and tries to will himself asleep.
Sleep comes to him in slow and short bursts, as it has for the past month. Horrible visions painted in bloody red behind his eyelids flash as he blinks his eyes open, breathing hard and fast. Yubel stirs every time he does, her mismatched eyes meeting his through the darkness, but they both know that there is nothing she can do for him in those moments, only able to give him a sad look before she closes her eyes and easily drifts back to sleep again.
It's a long and terrible night. Judai loses track of how many times he jolts awake from a half-asleep trance, panting and sweating even as the cold chill of morning begins to set in, the embers of last night's fire having burned out hours ago.
Through the frosted over windows, Judai can make out the beginnings of the sun starting to rise. A soft light illuminating the darkness of the night. It must be unreasonably early in the morning, but the hint of a sunrise has Judai pushing himself out of his bed. He moves through the cottage carefully, making barely a noise as he sneaks out the front door. And Yubel, tired from her own sleepless night keeping vigil, sleeps on peacefully, not stirring once.
The chill of the ocean breeze is even more bitter once Judai is outside. This spring morning is not a warm one, still carrying the last of winter's cruel bite. Judai shivers against it helplessly, dressed in the thick woolen jumper and cotton trousers he had fallen asleep in. He hadn't even bothered to put shoes on before he left, too worried that the noise would wake Yubel and incur questions he just didn't know how to answer.
Judai flexes his feet against the sharp grass below, eyes trailing along the cliffside to where the grassy embankment meets soft yellow sand and leads into the crashing waves against the shore. The tide seems to be steadily rolling in, the salty air stings Judai’s lungs as he breathes it in deep. It feels like a rare moment of peace, miserable and shivering as Judai is.
Without much thought behind the action, Judai begins walking down the cliffside towards the beach, trading sharp grass underfoot for coarse windswept sand. The closer he gets to the water, the more the winds push against him, but Judai finds himself pressing onwards anyway until he blinks and suddenly he’s knee deep in the water.
As he realises, a particularly high wave swells and knocks into his chest, sending him stumbling back a few steps, barely managing to catch himself before he falls and soaks himself completely.
The wind feels unbearably cold through his wet clothes now as Judai stumbles out of the water and choses instead to clamber across an outcropping of rocks, admiring small pools of water in their crevices and the odd looking ocean creatures trapped within, waiting for the tide to come and pull then away again.
The sun is much higher in the sky now than the last time Judai noticed it. Painting golden light across the blue. Soon, Yubel will wake to a cold and empty room and immediately begin tearing the land apart looking for him.
When Yubel does eventually find him – as she always will – Judai can only imagine how upset she will be. She was never afraid to raise her voice at him before, so he can't imagine she would hold herself back now.
Judai sighs as he sits down, pulling his knees to his chest, gaze fixed to where the waves crash against the rocks. The water looks deep around him, deeper than it should be. An endless, dark blue that stretches into an unknown abyss.
Judai shivers as a particularly cold wind cuts through him, teeth chattering as he hugs his legs closer. He must look a miserable sight; clothes old and drenched, feet bare, hair tangled. And he feels just as pathetic too.
And just when he thinks things can't get any worse, his thoughts become voiced.
“Tides you look awful.”
“I know,” Judai agrees before he can catch himself. The voice just sounds so real. More real than any of his other visions have.
Its then that movement catches his eye, a ripple against the surface of the water that fights against the motions of the tides. Theres a head peeking out at him from the depths, long dark hair plastered to their face and shoulders and striking silver eyes scrutinising him without shame.
“Who are you?” Judai asks hesitantly. Even if he’s pretty sure this is another vision sent to torment him, the lack of gore and death makes him doubt that thought just enough.
If this is a person – a real person – Judai and Yubel could be in danger. All it takes is one person to recognise his face, his hair, his eyes and this little sliver of peace they’ve been able to take for themselves will go up in flames.
“You may call me Manjoume Thunder, pathetic human,” he preens at his own name and swims closer.
“Oh,” Judai mumbles as he spots the flash of dark scales along Manjoume’s face. “You're a mermaid,”
Manjoume's expression immediately sours. Swimming closer to the rocky outcropping that Judai sits on and pulling himself up to sit with his tail on full display.
“I'm a mer ,” Manjoume corrects him, the fins along his tail flicking. “Not some little maiden.”
“You're not real,” Judai tells him bluntly, staring at Manjoume’s tail unabashed.
It's a pretty thing, dark black scales that almost look navy in the sunlight. Iridescent markings shining up the sides in the shape of a thunderbolt. And the delicate fins that flick and flutter, splashing water with each movement are long and sharp.
“You're just another hallucination,” Judai continues, mumbling incoherently to himself. “But at least you're a pretty one.”
“Of course I'm real!” Manjoume sputters with confused outrage. “I'm literally right here in front of you dumbass. Here, you can touch me!”
He holds his hand out, webbed fingers and clawed nails. So clearly inhuman and strange. Judai desperately wants to reach out and feel those differences for himself, but he doesn't want to see the way Manjoume's visage will shatter and ripple away like a raindrop into the ocean.
When Judai doesn't take Manjoume's hand, the mer snarls at him, a hint of sharp teeth peeking out behind his lips.
“Tides, you have issues,” Manjoume huffs, incredulous. “Most people would simply be in awe of my magnificence. And you're just trying to look right through me.”
Judai just shrugs helplessly. “Sorry,” he offers.
From somewhere over the cliffs, the wind carries a frightened yell.
“Judai!” Yubel's voice calls for him, causing him to startle and look around panicked.
The sun has fully risen now, he realises. Shining brightly in the sky and waking the world with its light.
Yubel is going to kill him for running off, Judai realises with a shiver that cuts deeper than even the harshest wind.
“You should go deal with that, Judai,” Manjoume hums, saying the name like he's testing the way it tastes on his tongue. “And when you're finally in your right mind, come find me again so I can prove that my magnificence is real.”
“How will you know?” Judai asks curiously. “When I come looking for you again?”
“I just will,” Manjoume tells him matter-of-factly, a cheeky grin on his face as he dives back into the water and disappears within.
It's a nice thought, Judai muses. But he knows he could wait forever by the water, and no pretty, snarky, dark haired mer will ever return for him.
With a sigh, he pulls himself to his feet and stumbles back up the cliff, ready to face Yubel's wrath.
—
The days pass like quicksand through Judai’s fingers; barely noticeable and fleeting.
Their cabin far removed from society starts to grow more homely. Animal furs, the spoils of Yubel's hunts start to cover their beds and chairs. Trinkets carved from wood and bones line window sills. A handful of books are piled on their kitchen table, bought by Yubel from her last trip to the nearest village.
It's not often that Yubel feels comfortable leaving to run errands. And certainly not for extended periods of time. But things have been getting better as of late.
Judai's nightmares have been slowly becoming less frequent. His bouts of aggression and paranoia are less explosive and easier to deal with.
Even the slight progress he's made is nothing short of a miracle. His family had studied the curse on their bloodline for generations and found no cause nor cure. The only way to put a stop to the golden-eyed Yuki's was to kill them.
And yet, here Judai remains, eyes golden but his mind his own.
“Maybe it's something to do with the castle,” Judai had theorised to Yubel one night as he stared mindlessly into the fire.
“It's probably the remains of Haou buried on the grounds that do it,” Yubel hummed in agreement, a carving knife held in one hand and a block of wood in the other, a steadily growing pile of wooden shavings collecting at her feet.
Nights like that had been steadily growing more common. The two of them sitting in silence while Yubel worked on whatever new project she had started, the crackle of the fire filling the space between them with a homely warmth. It was the type of peace that Judai had never known, even before the curse got to him.
He found that he enjoyed those moments a lot more than ruling a kingdom.
Judai isn't really sure how long had passed since that morning on the beach, but the image of the pretty mer he imagined stayed fresh in his mind despite that. To the point that when Yubel leaves for one of her rare trips into town, a stern warning to Judai to stay safe as farewell, Judai finds himself trekking down the cliffside once more.
The thick winter coat he wears does wonders to hold back the chill of the winter wind and his shoes are sturdy and reliable as he climbs over the rock pools to make himself comfortable in the same spot as before.
The water looks deeper and darker than he remembers, but the surface is just as empty as he knew it would be.
It will be hours before Yubel makes it back home and Judai hardley has anything better to do than wait, even despite all common sense, he finds himself staying put for the tiny glimmer of hope he has for the impossible.
It’s terribly boring, Judai quickly realises. And frightfully cold, even bundled up in proper winter gear as he is, thanks to Yubel’s constant insistence. He wants to wait here until she gets back, just to know that he tried and to put this dream of his to rest, but already he’s struggling with having to sit still for so long.
Judai waits a moment more. Then counts for five minutes just to say he really tried, before he pulls himself to his feet.
“Of course it was another hallucination,” Judai laughs to himself aloud.
“Well hello to you too, human.”
The voice is startlingly familiar. The same he’s been hearing in the few dreams he couldn't call nightmares. Like a light in darkness that Judai had so desperately clung to.
Judai turns, and there his mer is, perched on the rocks again, tail splayed gracefully beneath his body, not even shivering against the cold winds despite the fact his torso is completely bare.
“It's rude to stare you know,” Manjoume teases him, preening under the attention despite that.
“Stars, you're actually real,” Judai mumbles and feels his face split into the widest grin he's managed in what feels like years. “That’s so awesome.”
Manjoume huffs, but Judai spots the embarrassed smile on his face before he can hide it behind his hair. “I know I am. It's about time you finally recognised that.”
“Did you come here everyday waiting for me to come back and tell you that?” Judai questions, slowly lowering himself down to his knees. “I didn’t realise my opinion would mean so much to you, Manjoume,”
“Thunder,” Manjoume snaps to correct him. “And I didnt wait for you to come back like some lost guppy. I simply happened to be passing by.”
“Well that's lucky,” Judai allows the blatant lie, if only so he doesn't scare Manjoume away so soon. It’s a funny one, at least. Almost as cute as he is.
“Indeed,” Manoume agrees.
A beat passes, and he stares at Judai with narrowed eyes, searching for something Judai doesn't understand. He’s almost about to turn Manjoume’s words about staring against him when he breaks the silence before him.
“You’re looking in much better spirits.” he notes carefully.
Judai smiles again. Already his cheeks hurt from the motion.
“Well I am doing a lot better these days.” Judai nods. “Even if i dont think I'll ever be normal again, being out here at the edge of civilization seems to be helping.”
“There's a reason most humans tend to stay far away you know,” Manjoume tells him, leaning closer like he's about to spill a terrible secret and Judai finds himself leaning in too.
“It doesn't have anything to do with the pretty mer and his need for compliments, does it?” Judai jokes.
Manjoume pulls back as if burned. “Pretty?!” he demands. “That's what you think of me?”
“Uh, yeah?” Judai shrugs. Of course Manjoume is pretty. All otherworldly charm and dangerous appeal. His eyes like silver and the flash of fangs behind his lips seem to pull Judais attention constantly like magnets.
Manjoume looks positively furious about this, however. The sharp claws of his hands digging into the stone beneath.
“Humans don't come here because there are monsters in these waters.” Manjoume warns him, a dangerous edge to his tone.
“Like a Kraken?” Judai asks curiously.
“What, you think that would be pretty too, stupid human?”
“huh? No. it would just be cool.”
Manjoume scoffs, giving Judai a poisonous look. “I think I liked you better when you were raving mad.”
Judai’s eyes go wide – still golden. He knows they're still golden and he hates them for it – and feels his hands clench at his side
Immediately, Manjoume notices the change, eyes furrowed with confusion as he leans in closer to Judai. “What's wrong with you now? What did I say?”
“Nothing. It's just that you're certainly the only person to think or say that.” Judai shrugs, forcing an easy grin on his face, but he feels how strained and fake it is after smiling so genuinely.
Manjoume notices the difference easily too, tilting his head to the side curiously and pursing his lips.
“What's wrong with you?” He asks bluntly and completely unrepentant about it.
And despite everything, Judai can't help but be amused by that. Sighing deeply, he begins to let the words spill out of his mouth. He shares the story of how he lost everything, of the lapses in his memory but the impressions of violence burned into his mind. He explains how he ended up out here, at the edge of the world with all the other monsters.
Manjoume listens quietly. Letting Judai ramble without pause. At some point, Judai really isn't sure when, but his hands end up entwined with Manjoume’s. The cold press of scales against his skin soothing and the occasional sharp reminder of claws feels grounding.
When his story is finished, they both fall into a comfortable silence, hands still held between them.
It's nice, Judai thinks, really nice that even despite everything, Manjoume doesn't shy away from him. That he still looks into his golden eyes without a hint of fear or apprehension.
“I'm something of royalty myself,” Manjoume begins after a long moment, eyes averted like the admission shames him
Carefully, Judai squeezes his hand. A gentle reminder that he's not going anywhere now.
“I was, at least,” he continues, meeting Judai’s eyes once again. “the youngest of three sons would never be respected by others. Even when I fought tooth and nail to prove my worth, my brothers only laughed at my efforts and cast me out.”
“You should kill them,” Judai snarls before he can stop himself. Shuddering as he squeezes his eyes shut and forces himself to breathe deeply.
At least the outburst was towards Manjoume's distant brother's, and not Manjoume himself.
“I could try,” Manjoume agrees evenly. “But there really is no point. I thought I wanted to rule, but I find that my life now suits me more.”
There's something to be admired about that declaration, Judai muses with his eyes still shut tight. Learning to be happy with one's circumstance despite everything. To choose to look for only the good in your situation.
To be comfortable with mediocrity, the darker parts of him hiss with toxic venom.
But really, there is nothing about Manjoume that is mediocre.
“And will you be making a glorious return to claim your throne anytime soon? You are a lot more clear-minded these days.”
Judai huffs a laugh at the slight jab, finally blinking his eyes open to find Manjoume refusing to meet his gaze, looking off to the side with pursed lips. He looks almost afraid of the answer, but Judai isn't entirely sure which one he wants to hear.
It would only be right to assume that Manjoume wishes him gone but a part of Judai just knows that can't be true. Not when Manjoume waited all this time for Judai to return one day, not when he’s been so open and welcoming, letting him talk, looking so unafraid and sharing his own story in return.
“I don't think I should ever go back,” Judai answers honestly. “I know that Johan sent me away with the hope that I one day would but–” Judai hesitates, reaching forward to cup Manjoume’s cheek and gently guiding his face to look at him once more.
“I want this life to suit me more too.” he declares breathlessly, Manjoume’s eyes a shining pool of the purest silver are wide with a mix of emotions that he knows are reflected in the gold of his own eyes.
“Stupid human,” Manjoume hisses as he surges forward to kiss him.
“Pretty mermaid,” Judai laughs back, returning the breathless kiss with just as much fervor.
In his dreams, Judai sees fire. It feels only natural that the ocean brings him peace.