Nails digging into his skin

by kiavwrites

Summary:

Jess has been really turning things around lately, he’s stopped smoking, got his GED, and…he’s opened up about some things to Luke, Rory, and even Lorelai. Even better, Jess and Rory are together, they’re happy, and Rory’s about to go to Yale, and Jess is about to go to Stars Hollow Community College. It seems like everything is perfect…until Shane corners him and tries to dig her claws back into him.

Chapter 1: Let go of him

The crisp night air blew against his skin as Jess stepped out of the diner, putting his headphones on for a quiet walk home. He never thought he’d be saying this but …life had been good recently.

First off, he’s gotten his GED and acceptance into Community College and finally made Luke proud for once. Then he’d quit smoking over the summer. And then, there was Rory. They spent practically all their free time together this summer reading and talking and kissing and just listening to music and bickering over what movies to watch.

He doesn’t know, being with her just makes all the colors seem brighter and maybe that’s love. Who is he kidding? He loves her. There’s just something about this summer, even Luke seems happier lately.

Which is why it hits like a train when he runs into Shane . He does a double take, hoping that he’d just been imagining things. But there she was, standing right in front of him, blocking his path, her arms crossed and a smug smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Well, well," she says, her voice dripping with false sweetness. "Look who’s too good for me now." She takes a few slow steps toward him. Her heels click with each stride, making the space between them feel smaller.

Jess tenses, already sensing where this was going. He shifts uncomfortably, trying to keep his distance. "What do you want, Shane?"

She stops just in front of him, her eyes narrowing as she takes in his guarded posture. "I was just thinking about you, Jess," she says, her tone turning almost too casual. "About how special you think you are now. You really think she’s gonna stick around after she finds out the kind of person you really are?"

Jess felt his stomach knot at the mention of Rory. "Don’t talk about her," he mutters, trying to keep his voice steady. His mind races, his protective instincts flaring up. Rory was everything he needed, everything he didn’t deserve, and he wasn’t about to let Shane use her against him.

"Oh, I think it’s perfectly fair to talk about her," Shane shoots back, her smile widening. "After all, she’s not the one who had to grow up with a mother who didn’t care about her own son, huh? Or a string of guys who thought beating you was just part of the deal." Her words are sharp and cruel, and he hates how they hit their mark as his chest tightens.

Jess clenches his fists, but he refuses to let her see him flinch. He won’t let her have the satisfaction of seeing him break. "I don’t owe you anything, Shane. Not my past, not my mistakes. And certainly not my relationship with her."

Shane’s face twists into something darker, and he has a feeling he isn’t going to get out of this unscathed. "You think Rory knows the whole truth about you? The real you? I bet she’s got no idea about the kind of scars you’re really hiding." 

She takes another step forward, getting in his face. He wants to sidestep, to start walking and not look back but for some reason, he just stands there. "You’re just a broken mess, Jess. You’ll never be good enough for anyone."

Before he can respond, can tell her to get the fuck away from him, she reaches out and grabs his collar, pulling him toward her. The suddenness of her grip catches him off guard, and his heart races in his chest. For a second, he looks at her face and sees everyone who's ever hurt him.

"I can remind you of what it used to be like," she whispers, her face way too close to his, her breath hot against his skin. "You don’t have to pretend anymore."

Jess recoils instinctively, but Shane doesn’t let go. "You know you want it. You always did," she whispers, her fingers pressing harder into his shirt. And before he can think, before he can move, before he can stop her, she leans in, trying to kiss him, her lips nearly brushing his.

“Hey!” But in the split second before it happens, a sharp voice interrupts and he recognizes it instantly.

"Get your hands off him!" Rory’s voice rings out, fierce and full of anger. He doesn’t need to look at her to tell how pissed she is.

Shane freezes, her nails still digging into Jess’s bicep. Rory storms toward them, her eyes blazing with rage. "Let go of him!" she shouts, stepping between them without hesitation.

Shane pulls back slightly, a sly smirk crossing her face as she looks at Rory. "What, you think you can just swoop in and take him? From me?" Her tone drips with venom. "He’s not the guy you think he is, you know."

Rory doesn’t back down. She steps forward and her eyes fix on Shane with a cold fury. "I don’t care what you think you know. Jess doesn’t belong to you anymore. He never did. And I won’t let you use his past to hurt him."

Shane’s expression falters for a moment, her confidence slipping as she realizes Rory isn't afraid of her. But then she sneers, looking Jess up and down one last time. "Whatever," she mutters, tossing him one last burning glance. "You’re both pathetic. Enjoy your broken little life together."

And with that, she turns on her heel and walks away, leaving Jess and Rory standing in the street, the tension still hanging thick between them.

Jess is breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling rapidly. What was that? Why did he just freeze and stand there like an idiot? He can’t look at Rory at first, he doesn’t know how to. But when he finally does, her fierce, protective gaze softens, and she steps toward him, gently placing a hand on his arm.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, it occurs to him how that might have looked to her and he opens his mouth, trying to explain. It makes him sick to his stomach thinking of how mad she had sounded. “Rory, I swear I didn’t-“

"Are you okay?" she asks quietly, her voice full of concern. All of the anger that was in her voice dissipates in a second as she slowly takes his hand in hers.

“…You’re not mad?” He half expects her to start screaming at him and throwing things for even looking at another girl. He forgets for a split-second that was Shane and this is Rory. He’s reminded when instead she cups his cheek and says “why would I be?“

“She was trying to force herself on you. I know you didn’t do anything because I trust you, Jess.” Rory adds, big blue eyes full of heartbreak that he would ever even think that.

“Now, are you sure you’re okay?” Her voice is full of nothing but worry as she cups his face in her hands. She was so cute when she was worried but he hated knowing that he was the cause of it.

Jess nods, though his thoughts are still spinning from the shit Shane said to him. "Yeah," he says, but his voice is strained. Weak . He was supposed to be a man, why was this getting to him so much? "I just... I didn’t expect that.” He blurts out because it’s true. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it." He lies once he sees the crushed expression on her face.

Rory gives him a look like she sees through it. She squeezes his arm, her touch grounding him. God, what did he ever do to deserve her?  

“Jess… how long has she been treating you like that?” She asks, and he can tell from the shake in her voice she doesn’t know if she wants to know the answer. 

“It’s okay, I’m used to it.” Jess scoffs, without a hint of humor in his voice. He meant for it to come off like a joke, so that Rory would stop looking at him like that , but it comes out more bitter than he wanted. 

“She’s always had a temper,” Jess adds, shrugging. He’s aware the movement looks too casual, like he’s rehearsed this line a hundred times before. He’s trying, desperately trying to backtrack and make it seem less bad than it was. “I just learned how not to set it off.”

“Jess, that’s not-” Rory starts, and then her voice breaks. It’s just a crack but it’s enough to break his heart. He wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong but clearly he was upsetting her. “That’s not okay!” 

“Rory, it’s not a big deal. Don’t turn it into one.” Jess shakes his head, forcing a smile he knows doesn’t reach his eyes. Somehow, he gets the feeling he’s just digging the hole even deeper. God, what was wrong with him? “I’ve just got a type, apparently.”

“…What?” Rory’s eyebrows knit together, her voice low and careful. She hesitates a little, blinking like she’s trying not to cry. Her voice catches when she asks, “Wait- how many girls have treated you like Shane does?”

Shit . He knows that look. She’s connecting the dots, every offbeat comment he’s ever made, every joke he shrugged off, every time he changed the subject or made light of things that weren’t funny. She’s onto him now, and so he does what Jess Mariano always does when he feels cornered. He runs.

”Can we-“ He breaks off, licking his lips. “Can we not talk about this right now?” Jess looks away, afraid she’ll see the answer in his eyes. Why is she getting so upset about this? He can see how much Rory doesn’t want to let this go but eventually she sighs. 

"She’s not worth your energy," she says softly. "You don’t have to deal with her anymore. Not while I’m here."

She says it like it’s an oath and Jess only loves her more for it. She’s so beautiful and wonderful and perfect, she makes him think he’s done something right in his life for once. And fuck, Jess has never believed in the good in the world anymore than he does when he’s with her. 

So for those reasons and more, Jess can’t help but pull her a little closer and tell her just how much he loves her. He can tell they're not done talking about this, but that’s a tomorrow problem and Jess Mariano doesn’t have a lot of experience thinking about tomorrow.

Chapter 2: ilysm

It‘s been a couple of hours since the …encounter with Shane, but the memory still weighs heavily on Rory. She pushes open the door to Luke’s, the familiar bell ringing above her head. She spots Luke behind the counter, wiping down a coffee mug. 

Her mom was sitting in a booth, flipping through a magazine. Despite the situation, she can’t help but smile at her mom’s obvious crush on Luke. She claimed she needed her evening caffeine fix but Rory knew she just needed her daily dose of Luke Danes.

Rory hesitates for a second, taking a deep breath to steel her nerves. She’s been debating telling them for the past few hours, but she knows Jess isn’t okay like he keeps telling her. As much as she hates to go behind her boyfriend’s back like this …she doesn’t know how else to help him. 

And she can’t stand to watch him hurt in silence over this, can’t stand to watch him hurt at all. God, she was turning into such a sap. The thought makes her smile a little, but then again, thinking about Jess usually does.

“Hey,” Rory says, trying to sound casual, but she winces at the tension in her own voice. 

Her mom looks up from her magazine and immediately frowns when she sees Rory’s face. "Aw what happened, kid? You look like you’ve got something on your mind."

She hugs Rory before she even has a chance to say anything. Just because she knew she needed it. Luke glances up too, his eyes narrowing as he sets the mug down on the counter. "You okay?"

He says it all nonchalantly but Rory can see how worried she’s making him. Get it together, Rory. This isn’t about you, it’s about Jess.

Rory sits down across from Lorelai, her fingers tapping lightly against the table. "I-uh, I need to talk to you guys about something that happened earlier today," she starts, her voice a little shaky. She glances at Luke and then at her mom, the weight of the situation making her words feel heavy on her tongue. Just spit it out. "It’s- I’m worried about Jess."

“What happened?” Lorelai asks, her voice gentle and full of concern. At the same time, Luke asks, “is he okay?” His heart breaks at how worried he is about Jess. After Luke learned the truth about what he had been put through at home by his mother, he had been extra protective of Jess. Well, if she was telling the truth, they had all been. 

Rory takes a deep breath, her eyes flicker as she tries to gather her thoughts. "Shane shows up. You know, Jess’s ex?” She coughs a little, remembering how much she hated her. Everything about Shane rubbed her the wrong way, especially the way she treated Jess. “The one who-well, she’s trouble. I ran into her while I was on my way to meet Jess."

Luke's expression darkens immediately, and her mom’s frown only deepens. 

Rory bites her lip, her eyes on her hands. "She... she cornered Jess and started taunting him about his past. About his mom and everything she put him through. And, um, she was trying to get him to-" Rory pauses, taking a breath to calm herself down before continuing, "She was trying to kiss him."

Oh my god, it made her so mad that Shane thought she could treat him like that. After everything he’d been through in his life already. Rory can’t help but wonder how many girls like her he’s dated. Girls who treat him like shit, and shout at him, and try to assault him. 

Her mom’s eyes widen, and Luke stiffens, his hand instinctively gripping the edge of the counter. "What?" Her mom breathes, her voice going full mama-bear mode. "She tried to do what ?"

Rory’s gaze meets her mom’s, her voice steadying as she speaks. "She tried to kiss him, force herself on him, like she could still-" She cuts herself off, her hands trembling a little. "So I told her to get away from him. Eventually, I made her back off but when I asked Jess about it, he kept saying he was fine."

Luke’s face twists with frustration, his jaw tightening as he leaned in toward Rory. "What did she say? Did she-"

Rory shakes her head quickly, cutting him off. "It doesn’t matter. She left. But... it was bad, you know? She was seriously trying to hurt him." She swallows hard, trying to push past the tightness in her throat. "I-I don’t know how to help him when he won’t stop lying to me."

Her mom reaches over, placing a hand gently over Rory’s. She can tell that her mom has changed her mind about Jess since she learned the truth about his childhood. "You did the right thing," she says softly. "You protected him. You didn’t let her get away with it."

Rory nods but she’s not entirely convinced. She loves Jess so much but she doesn't know how to make this better, doesn’t know how to get Jess to admit he’s not fine. "I just... I couldn’t believe how cruel she was. She knew exactly what buttons to push to hurt him. And I don’t even think she cares ."

Rory smiles sadly, her hand tightening around her mom’s. "I just wish he didn’t have to go through that. He’s been through so much already."

"Yeah," Her mom says, her voice softer now. "But he’s got you and he’s not alone anymore." Her mom will know how to help him, she always seemed to understand Jess more than she let on. They were more similar than she had realized. “I think…he just needs a little time and space before he’s ready to talk about it.”

Rory winces but she knows her mom is right. She knows that he’ll come to her when he’s ready but it’s still so hard to watch him hurt alone. 

Luke, who had been silently fuming at the counter, finally speaks up again, his tone firm. "If she pulls anything like that again, you come to me. I’ll handle it."

Rory can’t help but smile at him. As much as she appreciates how protective Luke is of him, her mind is still on Jess. On how she can help him get through this. "I just want him to know he’s safe. And that he doesn’t have to deal with people like Shane anymore."

Her mom reaches over, squeezing Rory’s hand again. "He’s got you, sweetheart. You’re a team."

And Rory knows she’s right, like she so often is…but she just can’t help but worry about Jess. He’d been through so much and he’d spent so much of his life brushing under the rug and putting on a tough guy act. She had to show him that she wasn’t like the other girls he’d dated, that she genuinely cared about him and worried about him.

Rory bites her lip, knowing a little part of her will always worry about Jess. "I know," she says quietly. "I just hope he knows that. I just- I just want to make sure he’s okay."

She’ll leave it alone when she calls him tonight, but hopefully he knows that they are not done talking about this. 

Notes:

welcome to my new literati series guys. as you can tell i really love to put jess in pain because i love him and he is my favorite. lmk if you want me to write anything else about literati!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of in notes in the margins