Work Text:
Alien abduction
Vince/Kayla
Kayla left Vince’s office and saw X-Pac waiting for her.
“Verdict?” X-Pac asked.
“He said he’ll let me do it one time.” Kayla said. “If it works, we can try it again.”
“Ok. So how are you going to choose who goes?” X-Pac asked.
“I think it should be random, from the upper card to make it more interesting.” Kaya replied.
“So you are going to draw names?” X-Pac asked.
“Yes.” Kayla said.
“What happens if you draw people that absolutely can’t get along?” X-Pac asked.
“I guess I’ll decide then. It depends on who they are and why they don’t get along. Who knows maybe we could get a couple people to stop being enemies.” Kayla said.
“How are you going to do the drawing.” X-Pac asked.
“Paper strips. You can help me with that if you would please.” Kayla said, turning toward her office.
“No problem. We have time before the talent meeting.” X-Pac said.
They arrived at the talent meeting later and split up. X-Pac went to sit down with friends and Kayla sat on the aisle with her bucket of names.
The meeting as usual seemed to take forever.
“Now before you all go. Kayla is starting a new video series. She’s going to tell you about it and pick the first people to be involved.”
Kayla looked over the assembled talent for a second then took the floor.
“The tentative title is ‘Ride Along’,” she said, gesturing over her shoulder at the poster for the show.
“The concept is pretty straight forward; four people—“
“Hang on four people… What? The Rock asked, taking a step forward.
“The Rock doesn’t do groups, sweetheart,” The Rock said.
Kayla continued,
“And since The Rock seems so eager to participate, he can draw the first four names instead of me. Then he can sit himself down and shut up,” she added.
The Rock stared at her for a moment eyebrow raised. But Kayla didn’t budge and even shook the bucket a bit.
Finally, he walked over, randomly drew four slips and handed them to her and returned to his seat.
First is Taker Kayla said. She heard him groan but he didn’t actually say anything.
Next is Jon Cena, she cast him a glance and saw determination.
Next, we have Kane. Kayla couldn’t keep the surprise from her voice.
And last, we have Al Snow
“But that’s too many. You said four.” Al said.
“That is four Al.” Cena said.
“No, it’s five. Taker, Kane, you, me and Head.” Al said.
“Wrestlers.” Cena said.
“Head is a wrestler.” Al said.
“People with bodies.” Taker said.
“That’s just mean.” Al said.
Kayla forced herself not to laugh.
“You and Head are a unit, Al. Can we move on now?”
“Yes.” Al said, still looking upset.
Great. So, all of you will be sharing a car for the next event. There will be cameras in the vehicle as well so, you know, best behavior and all that,” she said, trying not to smirk.
That means I’ll have to be in my ring mask. That sucks. Kane thought.
Kayla looked around at the four people chosen ten around the room slightly awkwardly.
“Look for a mass text in the morning with more details. That’s it for now,” she said, stepping away from the podium in relief.
Mass text from Kayla
Breakfast tomorrow at 8. Your vehicle will be assigned then. We will have a meeting, and I will tell you where the cameras are in the SUV you will leave after lunch and stay over a hotel and arrive the next morning. P.S. Be on time because Vince will lose his mind if you’re late. Have fun, guys.
Jesus, when did the little spitfire turn into the camp counselor type? ‘Taker thought snarkily as he read Kayla’s mass text to the group.
Everyone arrived at breakfast, and it didn’t take much of an argument to realize that Taker would be driving and Kane in shotgun due to his size. Then they headed out to the SUV parked outside.
Taker put his things in the back and as Al began loading his.
“Put that thing back there too.” Taker said indicating Head.
“But Head needs a seatbelt.” Al said.
“Why?” Taker sounded exasperated, as he walked to the front of the car.
Everyone loaded in and got seatbelts on. Taker tried not to notice Al putting the center belt on Head.
Kayla
“You know Kayla, you just locked Taker in a moving car with Al and Head for how many hours?” asked RVD.
“Four I guess.” Kayla
“There might be two heads in the back seat when they arrive.” X-Pac said walking up to them.
“It was the luck of the draw. What was I supposed to do? I could’ve sent one of you instead, but I didn’t, dd I?” she said.
“Did you get the insurance, I hope you did. Because the cleaning cost alone is gonna run you.” Stone Cold.
“If they are that bad, why didn’t you stop me.” Kayla said. “Why does Taker hate Al”
“He doesn’t hate Al. He hates the absurdity of Head.” X-Pac said.
“This has disaster written all over it. Let’s hope there’s something I can salvage,” Kayla said.
SUV
Taker was behind the wheel and as usual was speeding.
Kane kept glancing that the speedometer but couldn’t bring himself to mention the speed to his brother.
Both Cena and Al were in the back with handheld games on silence.
Kayla
Kayla/X-Pac
As they got ready to head to the airport, Kayla obsessed over the newly discovered issue between ‘Taker and Al/Head. After she pulled out her phone for the fourth time and did nothing but stare at it, Sean snapped it out of her hands before she could put it away again and held it just out of reach.
“I’ll give it back in a minute but first, tell me what’s going on?” Sean said, resting his free hand against her shoulder, his fingers just grazing her neck. Kayla shivered and let herself enjoy the touch for a moment, then plucked her phone out of his hand before he could stop her.
“I didn’t know about Taker and Al. Now I’m worried about what’s happening.” Kayla said.
“Text Cena. I’m sure he’ll keep you informed,” Sean said.
“Great idea,” Kayla said, leaning up to kiss him in thanks. Sean returned the kiss then let her go. Before she could overthink it yet again, Kayla quickly texted Cena:
Kayla to Cena: I had no idea there was an issue between ‘Taker and, well, you know. Now that I know, can you keep me posted? I really can’t fuck this up.
Cena to Kayla
No real issue so far. I’ll let you know.
SUV
“It was your idea to take a shortcut Al where the hell are we. We should have found the Hotel by now.” Taker said.
“Actually, I didn’t want to tell you, but it was Head’s shortcut. How were we supposed to know the GPS was going to cut out.” Al said.
“There is a bright light up ahead. It’s probably the Hotel. Drive towards that.” Cena said hopefully.
Cena to Kayla: Not sure if you’ll get this but we’re lost. Blame Al and maybe the GPS.
“It better be the hotel or I think Head will find a new home.” Taker growled.
“You don’t touch Head.” Al said.
Kane stiffened, knowing how volatile his brother could be.
Taker drove forward. Suddenly the car stopped. It was still running it just wasn’t moving anymore.
“Something weird is going on.” Taker said. “The Car is on but won’t move.”
Kane opened his door and looked at the ground. It looked fine.
“We don’t look stuck in anything Taker.” Kane said.
Taker put it in Park. Then he opened his door and got out. Kane opened his door the rest of the way and did the same.
As the four men stood just outside of the still running SUV, the light up ahead drew closer. Cena instinctively shielded his eyes with a hand as the light grew blinding.
“This is not good.” Kane said as a beam of light shot out and engulfed him pulling him off his feet.
“Hang on Head.” Al shouted as he was pulled off his feet.
Kane grabbed the door of the SUV as the light hit him. But he couldn’t hang on.
“This definitely wasn’t what I signed up for,” Cena said as he was sucked away.
After a moment they realized they were in a room. Kane turned around and grunted.
Taker turned to see what he was looking at.
“Well, that explains it. Vince is up to something.” Taker said, staring at the blown-up picture of Vince McMahon in all his glory on the wall.
“If you think that is bad check this out.” Cena said, causing Taker and Kane to turn around.
Into the room were walking three aliens. Tall and thin purple skinned. They had round heads and were obviously trying to smile like the picture behind them, but their teeth were horrifyingly sharp.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I was looking at clones. Funhouse clones, I guess but they’re dressed exactly like the Vince on the wall. Cena’s thoughts circled wildly as he fought back hysterical laughter.
“These are the scariest car salesmen I’ve ever seen.” Al said.
Cena made a choking sound as he fought back laughter.
Taker looked them up and down.
Grey suit, red tie shiny shoes and that walk is so Vince. What the hell is going on. Taker wondered.
“You going to tell us why you stopped out SUV and grabbed us.” Taker asked,
“It’s part of Kayla’s plan they are actors.” Al said.
One of them stepped forward. “We are the Corporation. We know you work for the divine being Vince McMahon. We have been trying to find a way to meet with him. But we have failed. So, we have taken you. Now he will see us.”
Kane couldn’t help himself he doubled over laughing sputtering “divine being”
Cena started laughing as well, gasping the corporation, oh my god'" as he took in the insanity around him.
“Is this the way you would treat disciples of the holy Vince. Are you not worshipers yourselves?” one of them asked.
“Disciples of Vince. I’d sooner hang him from the ring ropes and beat him with a chair.” Taker said, starting to laugh.
“You would harm Vince?” One of them said surprised.
“If I could catch him.” Kane said.
“Don’t piss them off.” Cena said. “Look at those teeth.”
“I think we should find a way out of here” Al said. “I don’t like this escape room.”
Just then, one of the Vince clones lunged for Cena. Eyes widening, Cena quickly dodged then looked around frantically through the door.
“Time to go.” Taker said shoving Kane toward the door.
Kane stumbled for a second then took off out the door and went right. He could hear Cena behind him and Al. He heard Taker say.
“I wouldn’t.” to someone then there was a thud.
Kayla/X-Pac:
“Is it good that Cena’s been radio silent or bad that he’s gone this long without texting?” Kayla said as she and Sean sat at the hotel bar that evening.
Just as she spoke, her phone chimed with an incoming text.
“Well shit,” she said, quickly reading the text.
“they’re lost,” she said, quickly opening the app for the car’s video footage.
“Sean, am I seeing things?” Kayla asked, holding out her phone. “Or not seeing things I should.”
“What do you mean?” X-Pac asked.
“Well, I should see Taker in the seat and Cena or Al in the back. What I am seeing is both the driver and rear door open. Car seems to be on and no one on camera.” Kayla said.
“I’m seeing what you’re seeing, and I don’t like it,” X-Pac said.
"Hang on a sec," Kayla said, switching screens. The GPS for the SUV came up and Kayla felt her blood run cold. She immediately looked at Sean grim faced.
"Sean, where they fuck are they?" she asked.
"They're off the highway and I don't recognize anything. Maybe we should call the police."
"And, fuck, let Vince know," she added.
“Yes, call the cops. Probably state police.” X-Pac said. “As for Vince you better but he’s going to be pissed.”
“I know.” Kayla said.
Kayla went back to her phone and began making calls.
Vince answered the phone.
“Vince it’s Kayla.” She said.
“Have they arrived yet.” He asked.
“Well, no we seem to have a problem.” Kayla said.
“What kind of problem?” Vince demanded.
“Well, according to the GPS they are somewhere off the highway and never made it to the hotel. But when I look at the camera I can see there is no one in the SUV and the doors are open and the car is running.” Kayla said.
“That doesn’t make any sense.” Vince shouted.
“I know I’m going to call the state police and send them to the location. I think something may have happened to them.” Kayla said.
“It’s Kane and Taker what could have happened?” Vince said. “But something is going to happen if they miss the event because of your little idea.”
Kayla gritted her teeth.
I'm keeping my mouth shut so I don't get fired. She reminded herself as she ended the call by telling Vince what she thought she wanted to hear. She was about to dial the state police when she saw Sean pocketing his phone.
"The police are heading there now," x-Pac said.
Kyla smiled at him gratefully.
SUV
“Move it Kane.” Cena said.
“I’m going as fast as I can. These lights are weird making the floor look like it’s moving.” Kane said.
Taker looked behind them.
“Don’t worry too much they are chasing us doing the Vince Walk.” Taker laughed.
"Oh my god, they do. It's like some freaky cult of Vince," Cena said sounding horrified as they turned down another hallway.
“Head and I are not enjoying this we would like a smoke break.” Al said.
“Don’t even think about it,” Cena said. “I’ll leave you where ever here is if you don’t keep moving,” Cena added.
Kane took a left and almost ran into a room with more aliens but stopped just in time and turned another way.
However, the aliens had seen him and joined the others in Vince Stepping after them.
They guys went up one glowing hallway and down the next, suddenly there were aliens in front of them and behind. Kane ducked down a hall.
“Shit there is no way out go back.” Kane said, turning around.
“Too late.” Al said. “Does this mean we lose the escape room?”
Before anyone could reply to Al, a door came down from the ceiling, closing before anyone of them had time to react.
“Kane can you still do your thing.” Taker asked.
“Yeah, I think so, you?” Kane asked.
“Head will save us.” Al said.
“What is he gonna do bang it against the doors.” asked Taker.
“Hold on Al, let them try first.” Cena said.
Cena backed Al up from the door.
Kane closed his eyes, and you could feel the temperature in the room go up then he blasted the door. It darkened but didn’t give.
“Let me have a go.” Taker said. He threw back his head, rolled his eyes and threw his power at the same spot Kane had hit. It darkened further but didn’t break.
I don’t think they should be doing that in an escape room. They could get in trouble. Al thought.
“Want to try as sustained one together.” Taker said.
“If that doesn’t do it nothing we can do will.” Kane replied.
Taker counted it down and they let loose together.
There was a loud shatter of glass. When the smoke cleared there was a large hole in the door.
Taker went first. “They will have heard that we gotta move.”
Taker stepped out and Kane sent out Al and Cena before going out himself.
“That’s a lot of damage. Head says you guys are not getting your deposit back.” Al said.
Glad I’m not leading this time. Kane thought.
"Shit, this isn't a goddamn way out!" Cena yelled as they piled into the corridor and were immediately surrounded by more creatures dressed like Vince all holding battle stances, some holding weapons. There was a second pause, then one of the creatures swung for Cena's head. Jesus Christ, possible decapitation wasn't part of the plan. Cena thought as he ducked and tried to get ahead of his least favorite version of Vince.
Kane tried to backup but there were more there.
“I don’t want to hurt you. You need to let us leave.” Kane said.
One of the Vinces reached out to try to hit Kane.
Ok Kane thought nice isn’t gonna work.
“Where the hell is the weak spot?” Cena yelled as another one tried to grab him.
“This ain’t a wrestling match Cena take out their eyes.” Taker yelled.
Kane picked up one and threw him through three more. Only one got up.
Al was fighting off one when he saw that another had Taker’s hands pinned and was going to take a bite.
“Hey catch this.” Al yelled throwing Head through the air at the alien. Who surprisingly let go of Taker to catch Head. Taker immediately knocked him out.
Al finished his just a Taker brought Head back to him.
“Nice throw.” Taker said. “Let’s go there has to be a way out of here.”
“This is the worst Escape room ever. Zero stars.” Al said as he fell in step with the others.
Al leaned back against the wall and a door opened. He looked inside.
“We win. Escape pod.” Al said.
“But how the hell are all of us fitting in that?” he finished, staring at the pod in dismay.
“We don’t have a choice. We can’t leave anyone behind.” Taker said.
“I don’t want to sit on Taker’s lap.” Al said.
“Fine sit on mine.” Kane said.
“No.” Al said.
“Would you rather I sit on yours Al.” Kane said. “I doubt you would like it at all.”
“We do not have time for this. Get in Kane.”
Taker followed him in and not having any choice Cena and Al followed them in. As Cena was trying to turn around his elbow brushed the panel, and the door slammed shut.
“Shit.” Taker said when the thing began to vibrate then suddenly seemed to move quickly.
Cena stared hopelessly at the controls on the door which had now gone dark.
I really hope I didn’t hit the random planet option. He thought almost hysterically as the pod picked up speed.
“How hard did you hit that?” Taker asked, “Do you think those were the controls?”
“I hope not because I think he broke them.” Al said. “Head hopes we land on something soft.”
We’re s fucked. Cena thought. Are we rolling? He wondered as the pod zig zagged.
How high up were we? Shouldn’t we have reached ground by now? Were we so far away that we are not going to land on Earth? Kane wondered, beginning to worry.
I’m not liking the amount of time it is taking to land. Something isn’t right. Taker thought.
I like how the walls glow. Just like in the ship. Al thought.
Kayla
“I want an update. Are they going to make the event.” Vince shouted.
“State police were just on scene. They located the SUV still running and found footprints but no one from the vehicle. They’re continuing to investigate. If I don’t know where they are, how can I tell you if they’ll make the event?” Kayla finished, instantly realizing she’d just snapped at her boss and waiting for the tirade that was likely to follow.
“Well, this whole thing was your idea. You will fix this. If they miss the event, I will have to reschedule matches that could cost me money. You will find a way to get that back.” Vince shouted. “Have you told them who they are and who I am. Tell them I want those men found immediately. File a missing person on all of them.”
“I told them who they were and that they were well known and who you are and how powerful you are. I can’t file a missing person no matter who they are for forty-eight hours. It’s the law.” Kayla said, keeping calm.
“Just find them Kayla. They have matches tonight.” Vince said walking away.
“Right. I’ll just snap my fingers and poof; everything’s fixed,” Kayla said sounding aggravated.
X-Pac sniggered beside her.
“Don’t laugh, I’m in big trouble here.” Kayla said.
“None of this is your fault. You sent them off in an SUV. There is no way you could have predicted any of this happening.” X-Pac said.
SUV
“Maybe I can fix these.” Cena said sitting in Taker’s lap and tinkering with the control panel.
The pod began shaking and bouncing.
“Stop you are making it worse.” Taker said.
“But we don’t even know where it’s taking us.” Cena said.
“I don’t think making it bounce around is going to change that.” Taker said.
“Head is going to be sick if you keep doing that.” Al said.
Cena stopped and crossed his arms.
I hate just sitting here wondering what is happening and where we are going. Kane thought. I wish there were a window or something.
Cena sighed and tried to reach for the controls again. Just as his fingers made contact, the pod began to shake.
“Cena, quit that!” Al yelled.
“I’m not doing it this time!” Cena yelled back.
Then they started falling.
After a moment they hit something but instead of stopping they began rolling. Since none of them were strapped in the were shifting around in the cabin of the pod. Luckily since there was not much room the most, they were doing was banging into each other.
“Head where are you.” Al shouted.
“Worry about it when we land!” Cena yelled as they continued to roll.
“I think we have landed that’s the problem. Now we have to stop.” Kane said.
They continued rolling, then hit something with such force, Cena winced. They hit a few things he hoped were not alive. Then it came to a stop.
“Where is Head.” Al said quietly from the top of the pile of men.
“Under my ass Al.” Kane said unhappily. “Could you all get off of me now.”
Cena started laughing and quickly tried to pull himself free from 'Taker.
"How are we getting the damn door open?" he asked.
"I didn't see a handle or anything."
“Me either.” Taker said getting to his feet. “You probably needed the panel.”
“Give me Head.” Al said as he stood up.
“Hold on. Let me stand up first.” Kane said, getting to his feet and handing Head to Al.
“How are we getting this thing open?” Cena asked once, everybody was untangled.
“I know “Wonder twin powers activate”” Al said.
Kane and Taker both turned around and slapped Al almost knocking him over. Then they turned around and blasted the door open with their powers.
Cena was the first. to scramble for the now opened door. Finally, I can breathe. He thought.
Kane helped Al and Head out then climbed out after him. He was watching Taker Walk away from the pod when it started to fade.
“Hey it’s disappearing.” Kane said.
Everyone turned to watch.
When it was gone Cena walked over to where it had been and waved his arm through the area.
“It’s not invisible it’s actually gone.” Cena said with surprise. “How can it just be gone.”
“And where the hell are we?” Cena added, seeing nothing but woods around them.
Taker pulled out his phone and opened his GPS.
“According to my GPS we are in the middle of nowhere Colorado.” Taker said. “Does someone want to call Kayla or Vince and get someone out here for us. I’m cold and according to this map we are way too far from anywhere to walk to.”
“I’ll call,” Cena said, already calling.
“Kayla, we have a problem,” Cena said as soon as Kayla picked up.
“Cena? Thank God. Where the hell did you guys go?” Kayla said.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Cena said.
“Where are you now? Why did you leave the car?” Kayla asked.
“We’ll explain it all. But first you have to come get us. I don’t think it’s going to be easy. These are the coordinates we are at.” He said, giving her some numbers. “It’s in the middle of nowhere Colorado. We can’t walk out.”
“I’ll get someone out to you as soon as possible. But how the hell did you guys end up three states away? None of this makes any sense. I’ll call you back when I know more,” Kayla said. Then Cena heard her talking to someone in the background before the call disconnected.
“We should start a fire.” Cena said. “We could stay warm.”
“There is plenty of wood.” Al said.
“And how would we light it. Rub two sticks together.” Taker said.
“I suppose you could. But Head has a lighter.” Al said.
“Why don’t you two gather some wood. Kane and I will clear an area and make a pit.” Taker said.
“I can’t make a fire Taker.” Kane said.
“I know we’ll get it setup, and I’ll give you my jacket since I can sit near the fire.” Taker said. “Hopefully it won’t take them too long to get to us.”
Kane nodded and went back to work setting up the area where the fire would be. He wanted to be sure it wouldn’t spread.
Cena and Al quickly went off to find anything they could use. Without tools, they were stuck trying to locate deadfall dry enough to use. Eventually, after a couple of disagreements, they returned with what Cena thought would be enough to start a small fire.
Once they had setup the wood to start the fire Taker said. “Al, can I have the lighter.”
“Why didn’t you ask Head it’s been here the whole time.” Al said.
“Because you said you had the lighter.” Taker said.
“No, I said Head had a lighter.” Al said, picking head up and beginning to unscrew the bottom. “See.” He added pulling out a zippo.
“Nice party trick, Al,” Cena quipped. “Any other surprises?
“Sorry no beer straight arrow.” Al said, smiling and waving the paper was about to roll a joint with.
Cena rolled his eyes but motioned for him to carry on.
Taker got the fire started and Al moved closer.
Poor Kane. Cena thought. I didn’t even think about how a fire would make him feel. But he moved closer to the warmth anyway.
“Once they were seated around the fire, Al pulled out the joint he’d rolled earlier and lit it. He took a couple of long hits before holding it out to Cena.
Cena looked at Al and the joint a couple of times.
“I’m not a straight arrow.” He said taking the joint. Cena hit it and coughed for a moment but hit it again. Then passed it to Al again.
Without hitting it Al passed it to Taker.
‘Taker paused with the joint in his hand to entail in appreciation.
Man, it's been a while. 'Taker thought. Then he took a hit. His body relaxed as the smoke hit his lungs. He took a few more hits then passed it back.
I am smoking weed with Taker and Cena holy shit. Al thought.
I wish I could join them. But the fire is too much. Kane thought.
I can’t believe I’m getting stoned with ‘Taker and Al Snow of all people. Absolutely surreal," Cena thought.
“We are going to have a problem when they find us.” Taker said.
“A problem?” Al asked, sounding confused.
“Yes, how are we going to explain how we disappeared from our car and ended up here?” Taker said.
“I think if we tell them about the escape room they will understand completely.” Al said.
“OK, Al is not allowed to talk.” Taker said.
Cena burst into laughter which made Taker start laughing.
“I don’t get it. Why can’t I talk.” Al said. Making Cena and Taker laugh harder.
“What if we were kidnapped and know nothing.” Kane called out. “They knocked us out at the car, and we woke up here.”
“I vote that Kane does all the talking,” Cena said.
Then everyone started laughing, including Kane.
Kayla/X-Pac
They were almost at showtime when Kayla got a call. She’d gone out with Sean for one final smoke break before work kept her at her desk. She had a brief conversation, then turned to him with a look of relief on her face.
“That was state police. Everybody’s accounted for and aside from minor bumps and bruises and what you’d expect, they’re all fine. They’re at the local hospital now,” she said.
“Good.” X-Pac said.
Picking up her phone again she called Vince and relayed the news she had gotten.
When Vince finally hung up, Kayla turned back to X-Pac.
“I should really call Cena. We still have no real answers. Like how they ended up three states away?”
Kayla quickly made the call.
“Hey, nice to hear your voice,” Cena said the moment he answered.
"The police just called but didn't say much beyond the necessary. What the hell happened and are you guys really okay?" she said in a rush.
“Yes, we’re fine. The Police are still here taking our statements. We’ll tell you everything when we see you.” Cena said cryptically. Then he told her the name of the town they were in.
He's told me nothing but now isn't the time to push him on it. Kayla thought, trying to tamp down the frustration she felt.
They exchanged a few more comments, then hung up.
SUV
The helicopter landed and all four of them were forced to get into wheelchairs amid many protests. Then they were taken to the ER for examination.
“Can you change into these or will you need assistance.” The nurse asked, holding up the gowns in front of them.
“We got it.” Taker said, as each man took one.
“And you will need to remove your mask.” She said to Kane.
“That does not come off.” Kane said.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Just what I said. It doesn't come off.” Kane repeated.
“It’s useless.” Taker said. “He won’t take it off. And you really don’t want to try and take it off him.”
“I’ll tell that to the doctor.” She said, as she walked away.
A few minutes later she came back with a man in a suit.
“I’m Detective Mann.” He introduced himself. “I wondered if I could speak with you.”
The Detective separated the men by curtains but by the end he had gotten pretty much the same story from each man. They had been forced to stop and get out then there had been a smell, and they woke up in the woods.
The Doctor came and checked them over.
“Nothing but a few bumps and bruises gentleman.” He told them when he was through. “No sign of any drug in your system except marijuana and you all said you smoked that just before the pickup, except you.” He added pointing to Kane.” There was nothing in your system.”
“Can we leave when our ride gets here. Get back to work.’ Taker said.
“I don’t see any reason why not.” The doctor said. “The Detective my say otherwise. But medically you are cleared.”
The detective walked in and gave them all business cards in case they thought of anything else.
“I don’t have much to go on since you don’t remember anything.” Detective Mann said. “So, you can go when you are ready.”
They all got dressed and Cena called Kayla.
"We're ready to leave but I guess we need a vehicle," Cena said when Kayla answered.
"Oh no, you guys aren't doing the super special vanishing act part two. Plus, Vince will kill us all if you... Never mind. I'm sending cabs to pick you up from the hospital. There will be tickets waiting at the airport when you get there. And dude, you all owe me some kind of explanation when you get here," Kayla said.
“Hey, did you find our last car?” Cena asked.
“I did. Still running, three states away, where you apparently left it," Kayla said.
“We’re three states from the car?” Cena said incredulously.
"I thought you knew that?" Kayla said sounding confused.
Cena looks around to be sure he won’t be heard.
“Listen we had to lie to the police. I’ll explain everything when we get there but you won’t believe it.” Cena told Kayla
Kayla sighed but agreed.
"I'll make the arrangements now. I'll text when the driver is on road. Be waiting at the main entrance," she said sounding like she wanted to be yelling at him instead.
“Kayla is going to call someone to take us to the airport. And setup tickets for us.” Cena told them. “She said to wait at the main entrance.”
Taker looked at a map on the wall and they followed him to the main entrance.
“Does Kayla sound pissed.” Kane asked.
“Yes.” Cena said. “She said we are three states from where they found the SUV we were in.”
“We wrecked her new program.” Kane said.
“I don’t exactly think that was our fault.” Cena said.
“It’s still wrecked.” Al said.
They fell silent till the car arrived.
“Did you hear all that?" Kayla asked, turning to Shean with the phone still in her hand. She looked like she was thinking of throwing it. To Shean's relief, she dropped it onto the couch instead.
"Of all nights to pull this shit, it had to be now?" she said, almost yelling.
"They know how hard I've been working to get Vince to agree to any of this. And they know how impossible he is. If this had gone perfectly, he would've found something to complain about. But this is a fucking disaster.”
“Can you think of any reason any of them would purposefully sabotage what you were trying to do?” X-Pac asked.
Kayla sighed.
"You're always so reasonable but no, I can't. That isn't even the point, though. Cena just said they lied to the police. Does that sound like him? I just can't get the pieces to add up. And when they start to, what they imply seems not good," Kayla said.
“And when I’m crazy you can be reasonable.” X-Pac said smiling. “But you are right lying to the police does not sound like John or Kane.”
"See? At least 50 percent crazy this time," Kayla said but she was smiling. Shean laughed and pulled her into a hug.
Later at the arena.
They were out having a smoke near the end of the night when an SUV pulled up. As it parked, Kayla almost choked on smoke as she saw who was in it.
Taker parked and the guys started to get out of the SUV they had rented at the airport.
Taker walked up to Kayla and X-Pac and hugged Kayla.
“So happy to see you.” He said, smiling.
Kayla hugged him back in complete shock but didn't let it show.
I can count on one hand with fingers to spare the number of times 'Taker has hugged me. Kayla thought.
"I’m really glad you're okay but what the hell happened?" she said once the hug had ended.
“We will tell the two of you if you swear to never tell a soul. And we are going to tell Vince because we have to. But no one and I mean no one else will ever know. We will deny it to our graves.” Taker said.
“Not even Sammy and J.J. will know. Not ever.” Kane added.
Kayla and Sean both nodded in agreement.
“Al got us a little lost after our GPS went out.” Taker said.
“It wasn’t me it was Head.” Al said.
“Anyway, we saw a light ahead thought it was the hotel.” Kane said.
“It wasn’t.” Cena said. “The light came towards us and then the SUV stopped moving it was running but wouldn’t move.”
“That’s when we got out.” Al said.
“Next thing I know I’m getting pulled off my feet.” Cena said.
“Almost straight up. I tried to hang on to the door but couldn’t” Kane said.
“Flying was the best part of the whole adventure.” Al said.
"Flying?" Kayla asked, looking at Al.
“Yes, from the car to the escape room.” Al said.
“Al, Shut up.” Cena said.
“We ended up in the room. The walls pulsed with color, so we turn around and there is this huge picture of Vince.” Kane said.
“Al, did you drug them?” X-Pac asked.
“No, jeez.” Al said.
“Then we met the aliens.” Taker said. “They were tall and thin with purple skin and very sharp teeth.”
“They were all wearing gray suits with white shirts and red ties.” Cena said.
“And shiny shoes.”
Kayla and Sean exchanged a look.
"What did they, uh, want?" Kayla asked.
“That’s the funniest part. They think Vince is a god. They wanted a visit from him and thought kidnapping us would get it.” Taker said.
Kayla couldn't help it; she finally lost it.
"They. Vince... Oh my god," she gasped through laughter.
“You cannot tell Vince this.” X-Pac said. “His head is already so big. He will be insufferable.”
“We don’t have a choice. They may try to take him next.” Taker said. “We only got away by accident.”
“No Head found the pod on purpose.” Al said.
“Al leaned on the wall and opened an escape pod. We barely all fit in and Cena damaged the control panel getting in, so we had to blast it open once it stopped moving.” Taker said.
“Right. Alien pods... But what about the pot? As in the thing you smoke′ Kayla asked, eyes narrowing.
“Yes, we did smoke while we waited for the rescue. Al, Cena and I. Kane wouldn’t come near the fire and did not smoke.” Taker said. “But after everything that happened that day, I needed it.”
“But it had nothing to do with the aliens.” Kane said.
Kayla just sighed.
"This sounds completely insane but nothing else makes sense. And yeah, I'd get stoned too after that," Kayla said.
“He didn’t even tell you about the fight and how he almost got bit by an alien, but Head jumped in and saved him.” Al said.
"Do I even want to know?" she asked.
“There was a fight. Al threw Head at the guy attacking Taker. That alien let go of Taker to grab Head and Taker knocked out the alien and brought Head back to Al. So sorta.” Cena said.
Kayla laughed.
"I can't believe I missed all of you getting stoned," she said.
"And how the fuck am I going to edit the footage?" she added, realizing that she didn't know if anything would be usable for the show.
“Question Kane. If there hadn’t been a fire, would you have smoked the joint?” X-Pac asked.
“I don’t know I was thinking about it while we were out there but never decided.” Kane said with a shrug.
"Hmmm. It's possible to smoke without a flame. But anyway, if you guys want to meet Vince before the show's over, now may be the best time," Kayla said, turning back to the arena.
“Yes, seems like people are clearing out.” Kane said.
Vince
“Come in.” Vince yelled.
The four entered the office.
“About time you four show up.” Vince yelled.
“Five.” Al said quietly.
“Do you have any idea what you did to tonight’s event.” Vince yelled.
“It really was not out fault.” Taker said having been elected speaker.
“How is disappearing and costing me extra money not your fault?” Vince demanded.
“You are going to find this hard to believe. I’m still having trouble believing it and it happened to us.” Taker said.
“We were abducted by aliens who for some reason worship you. They thought that they could get you to meet with them by grabbing us. We escaped. We are only telling you this and not some much more believable lie because we are afraid, they will try to grab you.” Taker said deciding to get it all out quickly.
Vince started laughing hysterically, pounding on his desk.
“That has got to be the most ridicules excuse for an absence I have ever heard. You honestly think I am going to believe you were abducted by aliens. Much less ones who worship me. Are you sure you were cleared medically? Did you take something? I could believe this horseshit from RVD or Al but you Taker and Kane. Come on.” Vince said.
“It’s the truth Vince.” Taker sighed.
“You are lucky you are not all fired. Get out of my office. I’ll tell you what your fines are later.” He yelled, pointing at the door.
"That could've gone worse," Cena said when they were out of earshot.
“Yes, it could have. Let’s get back to the hotel I’m starving.” Kane said.
They walked back toward their SUV. Once back there they noticed most of the lot was empty.
“Stop here it’s far enough.” Vince said.
Turning Kane saw Vince get off a golf cart and begin walking toward his limo. He nudged the others.
Just as they all looked at Vince there was a light and suddenly Vince was off his feet and rising. He just disappeared into the light.
“We did not see that.” Kane said.
“Nope not a thing.” Taker agreed.
“Nope.” Cena said.
“Is the truck unlocked.” Al asked.