Chapter Text
It is the natural law of the world that each person has at least one soulmate.
The amount of bonds tied to the soul can be easily determined with how many unique symbols there are in the soulmark everyone was born with.
Just as the sun always rises every morning and the stars twinkle every night, every pair—or group—of soulmates would always have a Dreamer. For even with the unique soulmarks that would hopefully allow soulmates to recognize each other, the vastness of the planet still makes it difficult for them to find one another.
Legends say that it was Gaia’s pity, for she could not bear the thought of soulmates never finding each other. Hence, blessing each bond with a Dreamer who would be able to unite their fated souls together. After awakening in their coming of age, a Dreamer will be able to connect everyone who shares their soul bond through a shared dreamscape. It is thanks to this blessing, many were able to find their fated ones during their lifetime.
Of course, there are also extremely fortunate cases such as with Genesis Rhapsodos, who grew up with one of his soulmates, Angeal Hewley, and met another upon his arrival in Shinra. Despite the initial awkwardness of dealing with Sephiroth, the three had forged a deep and trusting relationship with their bond through their years in the company.
And of course, there are also extremely unfortunate cases such as how they met their fourth member through the intervention of their Dreamer.
*
Their Dreamer died.
It happened on an ordinary Wednesday afternoon. Angeal was training his mentee, Zack Fair, a promising young man with a personality that could summon sunshine down from Midgar’s ashen skies. They had just finished a round of sparring and were doing some cool downs in the training room, when a searing pain suddenly struck Angeal’s left calf, on the spot where his soulmark was. His legs gave out from the unexpected pain and he crumbled onto the floor with a pained grunt. It was only when he reached out his hand to hold onto the agonizing source did he realize it was his soulmark that was hurting.
There could only be one explanation to the situation. But how could it be? His panic and fears sped up the clockworks of overthinking in his mind. Sephiroth and Genesis were the strongest warriors he’d ever known unless–
A cry rang across the training room. Angeal turned his head to find Zack curled into a ball on the floor, clutching the left side of his waist, gasping for breath with eyes watering rapidly around the corners.
“Zack?” Angeal wheezed through the pain.
His student looked up to him with the most broken expression he never thought Zack was capable of making.
“Angeal… I—my–” he tries to speak, but words couldn’t even describe what he was feeling.
Before Angeal could even say anything else, his PHS rang in his pocket. The special ringtone indicated who was calling and whether it was out of habit or instinct, he picked it up without a second thought.
“Sephiroth?”
“Angeal,” the sound of urgency and worry evident was in Sephiroth’s tone. “Where are you? I’m with Genesis in my office and our marks—they just started to–”
“I’m feeling it too.” Angeal cuts in, not wanting to worry his soulmates with his own safety. The weight of the realization of what he says sinks in as he continues in a whisper, “Zack feels it too.”
Zack sobbed quietly on the training mat he laid on, still tightly gripping the side of his waist. “No… no… please… please live… please… I haven’t met any of you yet…”
Angeal’s heart breaks at the boy’s desperate pleas. The pain was an inevitable warning, a cruel signifier, that one of the bonds in their soul is being torn away from them.
“Zack,” Angeal had moved to his mentee in an attempt to comfort him. But what else can he say? What could possibly offer them reassurance in this kind of situation?
Zack, sounding more like a hurt puppy in every passing second, lifted his head to meet Angeal’s gaze. It made something in Angeal’s chest tighten and the words freeze their formulation in his mouth. Instead, he wraps his arms around the younger man, pulling him into an embrace and holding him close as if it could send the harrowing pain away.
They stayed like that for a long moment. The excruciating sensation of a thousand burning blades slowly slicing through his soulmark lasted what felt like an eternity until it gradually became a dull echoing ache that made his soulmark feel like a freshly made scar rather than a mark he was born with.
Once it became more bearable to move around, Zack slowly pulled up his training shirt, revealing his mark. It had the same patterns of dancing flames, of feathered wings, of sunny rays, of elegant blades as Angeal’s. Except for the wolf head motif in the center of the mark. What was supposed to be inked black like everything else burns red like a freshly made wound, bleeding and scarring. Angeal pulled up his combat trousers to reveal the same mark on his calf. The wolf pattern in his mark burned the same crimson color and blood slowly seeped out of it, making Angeal choke back his own sobs.
Not from the pain of the bleeding mark. No, he had been through injuries far worse than this.
It was the hollowing agony of a severed bond that carved everlasting grief onto his soul.
Grief for a bond he would no longer be able to forge. Grief for a loss he could never truly recover from. Grief for a soulmate he never met.
*
The memory of how he found his soulmates never failed to feel like a cruel joke to Zack.
In the many imaginations and daydreams he ever had, whether it was finding his soulmates through dreams or their shared mark, none of it ever involved one of them dying. Ironically, their final missing— dead —soulmate was their Dreamer who, in the most coincidental way, did make the rest of them find each other.
Through a shared grief instead of a dream.
Ever since that incident, everything shifted in his world. The red wolf at the center of his soulmark in his left hip bone took a while to heal. It doesn’t feel as much any more but on rainy days, it would burn like hell.
As if the weather was grieving with them. Or mocking them for losing a soulmate they never met yet.
Angeal grew more protective of him after what happened. Genesis and Sephiroth welcomed him into their bond with open arms and, of course, with the same intensity of protectiveness as his mentor.
Because, Gaia, they lost their youngest one before anyone could even meet them.
Zack was already the youngest among the General and Commanders, and his coming of age years ago also meant that he wasn’t the Dreamer of his group.
Their Dreamer never got to dream any of them at all.
And that mere thought breaks something inside Zack. How did they die? Did they die alone without anyone to comfort them at all?
Somehow it felt like Zack had failed this soulmate of his. For not being there for them. For not finding them earlier. For not being able to save them from their death.
Isn’t that what heroes were supposed to do? How could he bring himself to be one knowing he failed his own soulmate?
Sephiroth and the others were in no better state. Each of them were known for their strength and heroism, but the pain of a dying soulmate and the feeling of helplessness from that day made them question everything they were ever known for.
Even if Zack tried to see on the brighter side of things—like how they found each other or how their shared grief made them more tight-knitted than ever, the grief never really left them. He wanted to be so much more for their soulmate, their youngest one deserved so much more years of life ahead of them.
It was all too unfair.
*
The pouring rain is making the drive back to Midgar a challenge. The slow lull of the vehicle is making it even harder to stay awake. Zack is on the back way from a gruelling monster clearing operation in the Grasslands to Junon, his first solo mission in three months—by solo, as in, no protective soulmate hovering around him during a mission.
Three months have passed since the incident in the training room. While Zack appreciates the love and concern of his soulmates, it still took him a lot of time to convince that he is capable of taking on missions on his own as a Second.
“No squats inside the truck this time?” Zack wearily looks up from his seat to meet Kunsel’s tease.
“Shut up, man. That Quetzalcoatl caught me off guard,” he groans at the memory of the fiend descending upon them as they just finished clearing out a group of Mu which was apparently supposed to be its meal.
“Then get some sleep, Zack,” Kunsel suggests, the teasing tone gone from his voice. “I don’t think it would be in your favor if Commander Hewley or the others were to see you stumbling back home like that.”
Zack musters a tired grin. “You’re right. He’s gonna motherhen me so hard I might really turn into a Chocobo this time.”
Kunsel snorts at his remark. “You bet. Now, get some eyeshutter. I can’t have my friend and comrade turn into a Chocobo for our next hangout.”
Zack obeys with a smile. He allows his heavy eyelids to drop and let the sway of the vehicle lull him to sleep.
Perhaps it was the Chocobo joke or the mention of his Mentor who calls him a puppy right before passing out, but Zack dreams of being a dog in the middle of a flower field.
It was a rather lucid dream too. Zack never felt this aware in a dream. The scent of the flowers reminds him of the Grasslands and his mission, the gentle breeze on his fur and warmth of the sun feels very real too.
He tries to move around with his four legs, it feels like how a Touch-Me would feel. His bark sounded fairly young too, like he was at the body of a puppy.
Silently, he wonders to himself if he will ever hear the end of it if he told Angeal about this dream.
A rustling sound catches his attention. He turns around the field to find a red racoon, high and alert as if surprised by its situation. Zack excitedly barks at it as he runs towards another living being. At least, he isn’t alone.
The racoon is still warily on guard but it did not back off. Its bright red fur contrasts dramatically against the greenery, reminding Zack of Genesis.
Before he can even reach the raccoon, a badger tackles him onto the ground. The badger fuses about him, checking on him reminiscent of how Angeal does his little check ups on him after every mission and battle.
Suddenly, the idea that these animals were Genesis and Angeal strikes his mind. Is he dreaming of his soulmates as animals? This is almost too hilarious to pass. He yips happily and licks the badger earning a surprised squeak from the other.
The raccoon approaches them as if suddenly recognizing them from their interaction. Zack decides that he likes that idea of referring to these animals as his soulmates. Perhaps Sephiroth is in this dream too.
As if in sync with his thoughts, a faint meowing was heard from a distance. Zack’s head turns towards the direction. He looks back to Genesis the raccoon and Angeal the badger while nodding towards the direction of the sound, beaconing them to join him in his quest to find the source.
The two looked at each other in the same manner the human Genesis and Angeal would whenever they decide things together, before they begin to follow along. It leaves Zack with a feeling of giddiness knowing that he is able to accurately project his soulmates as animals in a dream. Gaia, he misses them already.
They merrily make their way towards the soft meowing sounds. The smell of flowers and warm sunlight made the walk even more pleasant. When the sounds get louder indicating their proximity, Zack thinks he sees a Chocobo instead of a cat at first when the blond spikes glistening under the sun are what catches his attention.
It is, however, not a Chocobo but a man. His wild blond hair put Zack’s own spikes into shame. In the arms of the Chocobo man is a silver cat with bright green eyes that Zack instinctively recognizes as Sephiroth.
Sephiroth the cat looks over the man’s arms to see Zack and the others before he meows at the man carrying him. The man looks between the cat and Zack’s band of animals before he walks over to Zack and the others.
“So these are your friends?” Chocobo man asks in the softest and gentlest voice Zack has ever heard. He feels like melting on the spot as Chocobo man kneels down before them and sets Sephiroth the cat down, giving Zack a better look on the man’s face.
Gaia, the man is. So. Beautiful. Air leaves Zack’s lungs as he stares with wide starstruck eyes into the brilliant azure with a tinge of mako green of the man’s eyes that makes him want to drown in it. Chocobo man smiles warmly at him and ruffles his head with his gloved hands like it was the most natural thing to do and Zack makes an embarrassing sound like a puppy asking for food as his hands leave his furry head.
“Did you like that?” he asks in a low cooing voice, chuckling softly as he sees Zack wagging his tail. “Come here,” he picks Zack up into his arms and starts petting him in a way Zack never knew he ever needed until now.
Zack wants nothing more than to melt in the man’s strong arms and never leave. He faintly registers some yowling from behind, and glances down to see Genesis the raccoon demanding to be picked up too.
Chocobo man indulges them, they all settled down by a patch of flowers while the man takes turns petting them and softly humming a tune that Zack doesn’t recognize but finds comfort in all the same.
After a long while, the man turns his head as if he heard a sound the others could not, he lowers his arms to set Zack down and being the puppy that he is, Zack whines while trying to cling onto his chest for as long as he can. His attempt makes his paw pull down the zipper of the man’s turtleneck shirt, revealing a part of the man’s chest.
Just below the man’s clavicle was a mark of a fiery crest embraced by feathered wings, the intricate lines of elegant swords shine on top of five rays from the sun, all of which framing a lone wolf at the center. The entire mark was unnaturally red.
It is a mark all too familiar to Zack. Shock zaps into his system like lighting upon the thundering realization. He turns his head to see the man once more. The man looks down at him with the same serene expression, oblivious to Zack’s shock, and finally sets him down beside the rest of his soulmates. His soft cheeks puff upwards as he smiles in an apologetic manner. The sight squeezes Zack’s heart.
“Sorry, little ones. I gotta go now.” he says softly, giving him one last pet. His shirt still slightly unzipped, giving all of them a glimpse of the faded red mark on his chest.
No! Please don’t leave me! Don’t leave us behind! Zack makes a desperate bark. But the man was already on his feet, he—
He wakes to the sound of a dying engine.
“You woke up just in time, my guy,” Kunsel pats his arms.
“I—” Zack starts. Trying to string into words the shock he just had from a dream. His heart is hammering in his chest, screaming to be heard by his missing soulmate.
Gaia. He is the most tragically gorgeous man Zack has ever laid eyes on. The soft curves of his face, the mako blue green in his eyes that hid a sadness Zack couldn’t reach out to, the gravity defying fluffy yet spiky hair, the strong arms and muscled body that speaks of battles well fought, the low soft voice that cooed him as the gentle hands petted his fur.
He is perfect. He is wonderful. He is their soulmate.
And he is gone.
Grief hits Zack in full force, clawing its way from his stomach to his chest. Making it hard to breathe. He makes the run to the nearest bathroom and empties his guts.
He barely registers the sound of the door as he stares at the water running its course from the faucet down to the drain.
“Zack?” Angeal’s worried voice calls to him. There is a hint of devastation in the way he walks to his mentee and reaches out to pull him into a hug.
“Ang, you wouldn’t believe what I just dreamt,” Zack says in a low shaky voice into the warmth of his soulmate’s shoulder. It is comforting. It reminds him of the day they found out they were fated for each other. In that cursed training session.
“I do,” Angeal whispers in a trembling manner. Zack finally notices that they were both shaking from the realization.
“He’s perfect,” Zack whispers quietly. He feels his tears staining Angeal’s shirt but he doesn’t feel the other’s tears falling onto his hair.
“Yes.” Angeal replies, raspy and hoarse with unspeakable grief. “He is.”