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Alex watched Eric sleeping soundly on the couch as he lay in his own bed. Tomorrow, the world would change, but they wouldn't be there long enough to experience all of it. Alex flopped to his side, still entirely dressed, including his shoes, on his bed. He was restless and couldn't get a wink of sleep. He was wide awake and couldn't shut off his buzzing brain. This was bullshit. If he was going to go out with a bang tomorrow, he at least needed some good fucking sleep.
But no. His anxiety scrambled his brains and he was left to pick up the pieces and sort them all back together again before he could even think about sleeping. God this fucking sucked. Why didn't he just overdose on his meds or something?
At this point, that wasn't much of an option now, was it? They already purchased all of the firearms. Wrote their pathetic wills and manifestos and left notes for their parents. Made all the bombs. The plan. The plan in excruciating detail, written on the map of the school and in his journals. No way to go back now, they'd be caught eventually. If Alex killed himself, he'd be leaving Eric behind to clean up the mess Alex started. If he killed himself, he'd be leaving Eric all alone in prison.
Not that Alex particularly cares what would happen to Eric if he left him behind. Eric was just a tool. A means to an end. His best friend, perhaps, maybe at one point, but Alex's brains have been fucked up for months thinking about this plan. He doesn't know if he can see Eric as anything more than a weapon now.
Besides. He couldn't stomach killing himself without taking a few others out with him.
Alex mulled over the thoughts in his head once again. Why was he going through with this?
Simple.
Because humanity needed to be punished. Those fuckers always think they're so much better than him. They think so highly of themselves while looking down on others. Others like him and Eric. Those bastards will pay for what they've done. For all the rejections and the audacity to be born different. They will pay.
The only way to make things better would be to kill everyone and start all over again. Make a better society. A superior one. Just gotta crack a few eggs first, that's all.
The thoughts calmed him down. The rhythmic, steady repetitiveness of these feelings that have been festering in his brain for years... It calmed him down. Steeled his resolve. No more anxiety. No more pussy shit. He's going to do it tomorrow, and Eric will be the one to help him.
He opened his eyes back up. There's that creeping thought again. A cold hand gripping the back of his mind, throwing everything out of proportion, and spinning his mind back into a confusing tizzy.
Eric.
He was just as much of an asshole as Alex. Only someone who could match Alex's own brand of mental instability would go along with this plan, and yet.... Alex felt this wasn't fair to the other boy. If they hadn't been friends, Eric would've just been another ADHD riddled jock with an interest in violent games and movies. And what kind of boy wasn't already into those things? The bunch of pansies in that gay-straight alliance, for sure.
Alex can't blame himself for Eric's behavior. At the end of the day, Eric has made up his own mind. And he's decided to join Alex on this path to righteousness. But even so, Alex wonders what might've happened if both of them weren't so fucked up. If they hadn't read that book on mass shootings and tragedies. They'd be playing Doom without thinking about their classmates on the other end of their guns. Alex would be drawing, using music and art to express himself.
There's the doubt again. The creeping cold hand of anxiety, ready to give his brain another spin. He couldn't take it anymore. He got up and started to pace around the small bedroom.
This woke Eric up.
"Mn... Dude. What are you doing?" Eric mumbled, rubbing his face.
"Can't sleep. You should go back to sleep yourself. Need all the rest you can get."
"Meh. I'll be fine. Why don't you let it out and tell me what's got you fucked up?" Eric grinned up at his friend. Alex knows that Eric knows how bad his anxiety can get and it pisses him off. Alex wishes he could just be cold and ruthless, emotionless, with none of this weak pussy shit. Eric's seen him cry before, and although it was in rage and frustration, it doesn't make it any less embarrassing. He's picking off kids for being weak for the sake of natural selection, yet here he is the night before his big plan, and he's getting cold feet. What a fucking loser.
Alex stayed quiet.
"Come on, man, I can't have you falling asleep at the wheel and crashing the car before we can even plant our first bomb," Eric chastised. Alex rolled his eyes.
"I'm anxious and it's pissing me off," Alex huffed finally, taking a seat on the couch by Eric's feet. Eric scrunches his knees up and shuffles closer to Alex.
"I don't blame you. We got a big day ahead of us."
"I know, dumbass, but what pisses me off is that it just shows how weak I am. We've gone over the plan countless times, and have been thinking about it for years, at least I have. We've been chipping away at it for the past month. Why can't I just stop being so mentally fucking ill for one night so I can get some sleep?"
Eric put his arm around Alex. Alex didn't have the energy to brush him off, so he just sat there, completely still.
"Hey man. You were born fucked up. And that sucks monkey dick. But we just have one more day and then we'll be free from these brains hindering us down and shit. Just force yourself to calm down, or - hey, here's an idea - wait, hear me out - I can punch you so hard in the face that it knocks you out. Sleep like a baby after that, right?" Eric grins.
Alex let loose a small smile. "Thanks, but no thanks. You might kill me, what with your..." He gestured to Eric's arms, well stacked with a tasteful amount of muscle. "...strength."
Eric smirked. "You mean my guns?" He flexed his farmer-tanned arms in Alex's face, which was supposed to be in mockery. The shake of his eyebrows up and down kind of made it feel more like he was flirting, though.
Alex rolled his eyes and pushed Eric's arms and face away, saying, "Yeah. Those. Stop showing off, dickhead."
"What, like this?" Eric suddenly lunged at Alex and put his brunette friend in a chokehold, his arm wrapped playfully around Alex's neck.
Alex yelped and scratched at Eric's arms as Eric simply laughed at him, making silly growling noises as he jostled Alex around.
Then, Eric hit a specific part on Alex's throat, and he unexpectedly let out a pathetic, girlish moan.
They both stopped dead in their tracks.
Eric, with his arm still wrapped around Alex, started to laugh.
"W... Was that a moan??" He said through giggles.
Alex's face caught on fire as he wiggled his way out of Eric's grip. "Shut up man. You just hit my throat a certain way that made weird noises or something. I didn't do it on purpose," he grumbled as he gently felt around his neck with his fingers. His breath quickened somewhat.
"Hmmmmm...." Eric grinned slyly and wiggled his eyebrows once more. "Are you sure?"
"Ugh. You're so fucking gay," Alex said coldly. Why was Eric being so weird, and why did it make a part of Alex all fluttery?
"It's okay to admit you want a piece of me, Alex. We only have one day left."
Alex turned his head away from Eric. Stop reminding him, he's well, well aware of that fact. He's terrified of what will happen next after they blow their brains out. Would it be judgement raining upon them like a scalding hot shower, or simply nothing? He was always morbidly curious about it.
One more day with Eric. In just about 10 hours they'll start their killing spree, and then there's definitely no going back from that. So what does Alex have to fear anymore?
His own damn ego.
"Whatever, you metrosexual faggot. You look like if Eminem had a baby with Elton John. I'm going back to bed," Alex huffed. Insulting Eric-- or anyone, really --cleared his head of his own insecurities and anxieties.
"Aww, come on man. You crossed the line at Elton John. I'm not that much of a faggot." Eric giggled as he laid back down on the white couch.
Alex grumpily got back on his own bed, pulling a pillow close to his face as he lay sideways.
Fucking Eric. How can one guy be so much of a flirt looking as ugly as that? And to his guy friend no less.... I oughta pop his ass right here.
Alex, though, soon fell to slumber, as images of Eric flooded his mind, making him seeth with an unknown, intense feeling.
-----
The next morning, they got up bright and early at 11 am. Shit, they were a little behind schedule. But that was fine, Alex thought. The time frame was just a suggestion anyway.
Alex popped his neck as he gathered his clothes for the day. Long sleeves, cargo pants, bulletproof vest with a hoodie over it, gloves, big combat boots and a snapback. All black. Eric was likewise gathering his clothes, this time a little more colorful with camo prints. A bandana to tie around his head for nothing more than style. Alex always thought Eric was a bit of a fashion pansy.
Alex grabbed some boxers and headed to the bathroom.
He took his shirt off and started the shower, feeling for the temperature. While he waited for it to heat up, he took his pants and underwear off, then stepped inside the small tiled shower. He always hated this shower. It was too small and suffocating. The glass door closing him in made his breathing quicken, so he always tried to shower as fast as he could. He needed to get out and breathe.
This time, however, he took it slow. Maybe it would be nice to take a long, hot shower before he dies. Enjoy the little things in life before it all ends.
He heard Eric walk inside the bathroom, and before he knew it, the blond had opened the glass door and had stepped inside, joining Alex in the shower.
"Well, guess this is it," Eric said as he positioned himself in front of the brunette.
Alex was dead calm. The shower was soothing. He didn't find it in him to yell at Eric to get out, so he simply stepped back and made room for him inside the small space.
The hot spray of water was now only hitting Eric's back, a light mist was all that Alex could feel. He immediately started feeling cold. He looked up tentatively into Eric's eyes.
"I've never even kissed anyone before," Alex said without thinking.
He saw Eric's eyes light up, his pupils going wide at the statement. Eric quietly responded, "Neither have I."
Fuck it, Alex thought. If this was their last day, they may as well cross a few things off their bucket lists.
Eric beat him to the punch though, tilting his head and sticking his tongue in Alex's mouth.
It was wet and slightly unpleasant. Kind of too gross for Alex, but he forced himself not to think about it. Be a little adventurous and stop thinking so hard about the fact that it's another dude's tongue down his throat.
He melted into it, working his mouth together with Eric's, giving them a rhythmic pulse for their tongues to dance to.
He felt himself drifting away, so he gripped onto Eric's arm, tightening to bring himself back down to earth. Eric's own hands were at Alex's sides, cupping his waist gently.
Eric started sliding his lips away from Alex's own, kissing the side of his mouth and cheek and jaw. Alex sighed pleasantly. He didn't give a fuck if the mouth belonged to a guy, even his best friend who looked like a knock off Eminem, just as long as a warm pair of lips were feeling all over him. He was content enough with that. God it felt amazing.
Why hadn't they tried this before?
"Mmnn... Eric," Alex sighed. Eric immediately stopped, thinking he did something wrong, and he looked up at Alex for an answer.
"Yes?" the blond asked quietly, the excitement leaving his eyes for a second.
Alex frowned. "Did I tell you to stop?" he muttered.
Eric bit his bottom lip and grinned.
"No, sir," he responded as he continued kissing at Alex's neck.
Oh. That triggered something in Alex.
He felt blood rushing downwards.
Alex grabbed Eric's jaw and forced him to look directly in his eyes. "What did you just call me?" he whispered hotly.
Eric's eyes turned into thin, seductive slivers. He knew exactly what he just did to Alex.
"Sir," he purred, bringing his hand up to cup it around Alex's, which was now gently holding his cheek. He brought Alex's palm to his mouth and kissed it sweetly, all the while keeping direct eye contact.
Alex didn't even realize the ball of dark, swirling anxiety in his stomach had melted away. It was completely replaced with something entirely different.
"If you don't put your nasty, shit eating lips all over my body right the fuck now, I'll fucking kill you."
"Yes sir," Eric breathed and immediately got to work.
Alex rested his head on the tiled wall and arched his back forward, pushing his waist out towards Eric. Eric peppered kisses all over his chest, while his rough hands slicked over Alex's wet hips and thighs. The blond brought his lips back up to Alex's mouth and kissed him deeply, his tongue swiping across his teeth. Eric slammed his right hand against the wall by Alex's head to support him as he pushed flush against Alex, closing what little distance they still had left between their bodies.
Eric slowly moved his left hand down Alex's chest, to his waist, and stopping just above his pubic area. His fingers were barely hovering above Alex's skin, making him shiver.
They stopped kissing to catch their breaths. The steam of the hot shower made it hard for them to breathe, but they made do. They shared the air together, gulping in as much oxygen as they could.
Alex was hard as a rock, his dick standing at attention, waiting to be touched.
His eyes trailed downwards, Eric's eyes following the path down with Alex's. They stared at their equally hard dicks, both bobbing for attention.
Alex bit his lip, letting the thoughts he had pushed down for so long bubble back to the surface of his mind. Another boy pushing his head down forcefully to his cock, his hands gripping Alex's brown hair. Kissing the tip of a monster cock, before sliding the entire thing in his mouth, feeling it pulsate inside his mouth. Bobbing his head up and down on it, forward and back, giving himself a headache with how much he's rattling his brain back and forth to match the speed of the boy above him.
Alex gulped. Maybe they'll start slow and work their way down the list of depraved, perverted things Alex wanted to experiment with. He knew Eric would be fine with it. Eric was always happy to follow along with whatever Alex commanded of him. The thought alone made Alex whine as precum trickled out of his tip.
Eric took the initiative without either of them saying a word. He took both of their cocks in his hand and started moving his hand up and down. Alex let out another pathetic moan as he wrapped his arms around Eric's shoulders. He caught Eric in another kiss and they made out while Eric jerked them both off.
Alex really needed to know why they didn't think to do this before. They didn't need a girl to suck and jerk them off when they could've just been doing it to each other this whole time. Would've made nights in front of his laptop forcing himself to watch big busty women bouncing and moaning much less lonely. He could've been making his own porn with Eric. Could've filmed him doing embarrassing things for him to jerk off to later.
Alex breathed heavily, saliva dripping down his chin. "Uguhhgh... Eric," he groaned. He felt Eric's movements stutter at the noise. "Don't... Don't stop, dickhead. Mmnn... Go as fast as you can. I wanna see our stomachs covered in cum. God, I've never felt this good in my whole life." He sighed, sounding like a cock-crazed whore.
Which wasn't too far from the truth.
"Alex..." Eric finally groaned out, and God, did that sound hot. In his deepest, darkest thoughts, in his most regrettable dreams, he always imagined what it would sound like if Eric moaned his name out. The sound made his dick twitch with glee.
Eric sped up his pace on their cocks, feeling himself nearing his limit. Alex drowned their moans out by shoving his tongue into Eric's mouth. All that could be heard was the slick sound of cocks rubbing against each other, the wet smacking noises of their mouths together, and the slap of hot water hitting skin and tile. They were so, so close.
And then it happened. They both moaned in unison as Eric squeezed their cocks. A white, hot spurt of cum shot from both of their dicks at the same time, coating their stomachs with sticky liquid that got washed down with the water. Down the drain their DNA went, swirling around the metal holes.
Alex fell back against the wall, breathing heavily. He rubbed his hand through his hair, slicking it back. Eric fell into Alex, resting his forehead against the tile wall as he huffed next to Alex's ear.
Eric gulped dryly after they had caught their breaths. "So?" he simply whispered. Alex fought against his entire body to not react to the sensation of Eric whispering into his ear.
"So...?" He coldly responded. He knew what Eric meant, he thinks. Where do they go from here? Neither of them wanted to voice the question into existence. Alex didn't want to think about the implications of what they had just done, and Eric didn't want the fragile moment to end. Alex wouldn't admit it to himself, but he didn't want it to end either.
"I..." Eric started, opening and closing his mouth, looking for something to say. His voice went into an even lower, quieter whisper. "I've never... done that before. I... I want to do it again. I don't want this to be it."
That stunned Alex. "Wh... what?" he asked, confusion marking his face.
Eric inhaled heavily before sighing it all out. Might as well.
Eric turned his head away from Alex's. "I just don't want to die a virgin, y'know?"
Alex bit his lip. "Yeah... me neither," he whispered. That was as vulnerable as he was gonna get. Leave everything else unsaid. Expressing his own needs would make him want to kill himself.
The blond lifted his head back up to look straight at Alex.
"I wanna fuck you like an animal," he said, voice low.
Alex blushed. What the fuck is he do--
"I wanna feel you from the inside," Eric whispered, his eyes cast down to Alex's lips.
My whole existence is flawed, Alex thought, continuing the lyric. He should've never introduced Eric to Nine Inch Nails, now Alex is all hot and bothered again.
You get me closer to God.
The two of them stared at each other's lips before making eye contact.
"Better make it count, then," Alex challenged, an eyebrow cocked up. Eric grinned.
It wasn't long before Eric had Alex flipped around, his chest up against the wall as Eric held his wrists together behind his back.
"God this is gonna be so nasty," Eric giggled as he grabbed a handful of Alex's ass, squeezing it lightly. "You ever clean up here?"
Alex flushed, feeling thoroughly embarrassed. "I wasn't planning on using it."
"That's alright, just clean up quickly while I go grab some stuff," Eric said before opening the door to the shower and hopping out.
"What- What stuff??" Alex turned around and yelled back. When he didn't hear an answer, he just grumbled and complied with Eric's demand, preparing himself for sticking his fingers up his ass. The very thought of it nearly made him throw up. He hated how quickly he'd accepted being a faggot in just this short shower.
Eric came back with a piece of cloth and a small tube. "Just tell me when you're ready," he said as he got back into the shower. He didn't even get a towel when he left. He probably dripped all over Alex's room. Inconsiderate prick.
"What's that? Your bandana and... lube? Why the fuck do you have lube?" Alex questioned, disgust on his face as he focused on cleaning himself. "What, have you been planning this?"
Eric chuckled. "Not really. I just always carry around some lube for myself. Never really thought I'd get to use it with you."
Alex's eyebrow cocked up. "Lube. For yourself."
"Duh. I'm over at your house all the time, you think I would've stopped masturbating while I'm here?"
"You're fucking nasty," Alex gagged thinking about Eric jerking it on the couch in his room. Right by his bed. Right next to where he sleeps. Now why did the thought of that make his blood rush down? "Why don't you just use lotion? It's a lot more discreet...."
"Lube works better when you're shoving things up your asshole," Eric grinned.
Alex's mouth fell open. His mind went blank. "What...." He didn't know what to say. "What the fuck are you shoving up your asshole?!" he yelled.
Eric placed his index finger on Alex's lips, shushing him. He lowered his voice, saying, "Wouldn't you like to know?" before giving Alex a short and sweet kiss.
Alex blushed deeply. "I wouldn't, actually. Don't ever masturbate in my room ever again," he warned. He felt his dick twitch.
"Oh, I don't think you'll need to worry about that anymore," Eric smiled as he turned Alex back around against the wall.
"Oh, right, cuz we're gonna die soon," Alex muttered darkly. What a way to kill the mood.
"Noooo," Eric smiled as he wrapped Alex's wrists together with his camo bandana, tying it tight but still comfortably. He moved closer to Alex and whispered in his ear, "Because I have you now. No need to masturbate anymore."
Alex's erection came back as his mind went blank, absolutely zero response forming in his head. "Oh. Hm," was all he could say. Eric really got him flustered this time. Who knew he was so smooth with his words?
Eric chuckled as he got a fistful of ass again, popping the lube open.
"Just fuck me in the ass so hard I forget everything, okay?" Alex said, head craned to look at Eric from over his shoulder, the blush still strong on his cheeks.
Eric's eyes went soft as he gave Alex another sweet kiss. "Yes, sir," he sighed contently.
The blond poured the thick, sticky gel onto his fingers and ordered Alex to spread his legs. He rubbed the liquid around his fingers and placed one at Alex's entrance. Alex's breath started to quicken as he anticipated the movement.
"Hey, hey, it's alright. Don't tense up," Eric hushed and kissed Alex's neck.
"I'm not tense, dickhead. I'm just reasonably not used to having things shoved up there, which I guess is something you wouldn't understand."
Eric chuckled, "Hey, don't worry. It's not as bad as you think. It actually feels pretty good, if I just get you in the right -- spot," Eric grunted as he slid his slick finger into Alex's hole. Alex whimpered.
"Ghh... are you -- sure it's supposed to feel good?" Alex huffed.
"Just give it a minute...." Eric said, lost in the motion of fingering Alex slowly. "Hm, seems you got pretty far with yourself. I think you're already ready to graduate to another finger."
"Wait, what--" Alex said before he felt his asshole stretch as another slick finger slid its way into his hole. Christ, it was just that easy, huh?
Eric picked up the pace with his index and middle finger, getting deeper into Alex as the brunette grunted in rhythm with his pumps.
"Eric..." Alex whined, "Just... ah, ah, just put your cock inside me already. Stop being so damn considerate and gentle. Just -- mmmnff... -- just do it already."
Eric smirked. "As you wish, love."
"Huh-?" before Alex could react, Eric had slipped his fingers out and spun him around to face him again.
"Get down on your knees, faggot," Eric looked down at him. Alex gaped as his cock twitched. He scoffed, feigning disgust as he slowly knelt down, keeping his eyes locked on Eric's.
"Don't worry, I'll keep you balanced. I know it can be hard to stay upright when your hands are tied," Eric winked.
Alex rolled his eyes before breaking eye contact to look at Eric's cock. He gulped, taking in the sight of it. It definitely seems bigger when you have to shove it in your mouth as opposed to just rubbing it against your own dick.
"Just take it slow," Eric said from above. That pissed Alex off.
"Will you fucking stop it with that? I'm not gonna get hurt so easily so stop acting like I'm a weak pussy bitch!" Alex yelled in frustration.
Eric smiled down at him, a strange twinkle set off in his eye. "Alright, you asked for it," he said, shrugging.
Before Alex knew it, Eric grabbed a fistful of his hair and shoved his face towards his throbbing cock. Surprised, Alex just took it in, stretching his mouth as it filled with the salty, watery taste of his fleshy cock. He groaned into the feeling, the sound vibrating against Eric's cock, making him shiver and hum in pleasure. The blond continued to face fuck Alex, making him wonder where his gag reflex was.
Alex lunged forwards and back, feeling the scratch of Eric's pubic hair and the slap of his balls on his face. His tongue swirled around Eric's shaft, slurping up the taste of his skin. He began to moan and whimper around Eric's cock, garbled choking noises making their way around his dick. Eric moaned Alex's name and it made both of their cocks twitch with excitement.
Eventually, Eric pulled Alex away from him, letting Alex breathe. He coughed and sputtered and spit out shower water as he breathed heavily.
"Huff... H..holy .. shit..." He breathed out. He looked down at the water swirling around the drain. "That was ... Intense...."
"You alright?" Eric asked gently.
Alex looked up and saw the genuine concern on Eric's face. It took him by surprise, that soft look in his blue eyes, unnamed emotions dancing around. His heart swelled.
The loving look he was getting from Eric made him not want to hurt his feelings. He looked down and said, "Yeah... I'm okay. Was just a little surprised is all. Maybe that was a little too fast? Um.... But yeah, no, I'm... I'm okay. Yeah."
Eric cupped Alex's cheek and bent down to his level. "I'm glad you're okay. Sorry for being a little too rough. But hey, that was the best head I've ever had," he grinned.
Alex rolled his eyes. "That's the only head you've ever had."
Eric shrugged. "My point still stands."
Eric helped Alex up and made him face the wall again.
"Ugh. I'm getting tired of this," Alex groaned.
"Huh?" Eric frowned.
Alex turned himself back around to face Eric.
"I'm sick of the wall. I wanna see your face when you fuck me."
Well. Eric was not expecting that. His face went bright red and he sputtered trying to get a word out.
"Holy shit Alex. Why are you so good at that?" Eric asked.
"Uh... Good at what? Hurry up man, I'm getting pruney." Why did they leave the water on?
"Dirty talk. You sound so fucking hot," Eric said, completely in awe of Alex.
"Uh..." Alex's eyes went wide and he turned his head to the side, "I don't know man, I'm just talking??"
Eric went to bite at his neck and Alex replied with a soft moan. Eric gave him little kisses and said, "You're so hot, dude. I can't believe girls never asked you out. I can't believe they rejected you. You're an incredible kisser. You're... beautiful, too."
Alex was left speechless for a moment. The fuck was he going on about?
"On the other hand, though, I'm glad I have you all to myself," Eric smiled at his best friend.
Alex looked down, his brow furrowing darkly. Eric crept back ever so slightly.
"Untie my wrists."
Eric gaped. Oh shit. He went too far. "Why?"
"Untie my wrists from your gay ass bandana."
Eric felt his heart start to crack. "Yeah dude. Yeah, yeah sure, just um... Give me a minute," he mumbled as he went to free Alex's wrists from his bandana. "Sorry," he said quietly, getting ready to open the glass door and leave Alex be.
But then he felt Alex's hands grasp at his shoulders and suddenly he was the one up against the wall.
"I never said this was over, I just didn't like being tied up. I want to feel all over you. I want to touch you," Alex whispered, making penetrating eye contact with Eric.
Eric grinned back.
"Then by all means."
They were back to making out, tonguing each other's throats, teeth clashing and hot breaths huffing and sharing air. Alex's hands felt all around his friend's body, rubbing his sensitive nipples and squeezing his muscles. Eric's fingers found their way back to Alex's ass and he gave it a quick squeeze before wiggling his fingers back inside his hole.
Alex groaned and bit Eric's lower lip. He moved his mouth to Eric's neck and started nipping at the flesh there. Eric craned his neck to the side to give Alex more space as he slid his hand under Alex's thigh. He lifted Alex's leg up and yet again pushed him back against the wall. Alex hummed, quite enjoying himself being manhandled. Maybe it was alright that his friend was so much stronger than him.
Eric picked the lube back up. "Mind doing the honors?" he asked, shaking the bottle.
"Gladly," Alex said, taking the lube from him and squirting it out onto his hand. He then took Eric's throbbing wet cock and lathered the liquid all over it. He swirled it around the tip and watched as the skin stretched back and forth as he jerked his hand up and down.
Eric grunted, not wanting Alex to stop, but he forced himself to say, "Alright, I think that's good."
"You think so?" Alex responded. Eric's cock throbbed up at him. He bit his lip. He wasn't sure if he could take all that. He's never tried putting anything in there before, no matter how many times he thought about it. No matter how many times he woke up in the middle of the night from sticky wet dreams, the fantasy of getting dicked down fresh in his mind. He hated himself for it. But he's already gone this far, so what the hell?
Eric nodded. "We can only hope. Just tell me if it hurts okay? It can be a bit rough at first."
Alex didn't care about Eric treating him like glass anymore. He was tired of keeping his walls up. They've already shattered so many boundaries, why keep this one up? He needs to get the fuck over himself. He's already had the guy's dick in his mouth.
"Alright. I'll let you know," Alex said softly. Eric smiled sweetly in return and nodded.
"Here goes," Eric said before grabbing Alex's other leg and propping them up on his waist. Alex yelped in surprise, his legs hugging Eric's middle and his arms immediately clinging around Eric's neck for support. Their foreheads touched as they both looked down.
With a little effort, Eric managed to line his cock up with Alex's hole, and slowly pushed the head in. Alex immediately took a big breath and tensed, causing Eric to groan.
"Hey, hey, don't tense, remember? It'll be easier if I can get inside without any friction," Eric grunted softly. "You can kiss me to calm down, if you want."
Alex nodded, his brain not letting him make any noise. Eric was slowly pushing himself further inside, and god it fucking hurt, but if they just got over this hurdle....
Alex lunged forward to kiss Eric deeply. It wasn't as hungry or nasty as before, it was just... Passionate. Instead of a bunch of colors and fireworks and flashes going off as they scrambled around each other's mouths, it was instead a soothing, deep, almost loving kiss.
Eric pushed further into him, stretching his hole out more. He focused hard on not tensing up, instead just keeping his mind on kissing Eric. He squeezed his arms around his neck and tried to calm himself down.
That was until Eric brushed against it.
"Fuck! Oh my god, what-" Alex bit his lip and threw his head back. Eric chuckled.
"Guess I found it, huh? Alright, get ready," Eric said before pulling almost entirely out, then smashing his dick straight through Alex's hole again. Alex screamed out a moan as Eric rammed into his pleasure point.
"Ffffuck.... Holy shit. Oh my g... Oh my god-" Alex choked out. Eric moaned with him.
"You feel incredible. I never knew how good this would feel in real life," Eric sighed. He continued to thrust back and forth into Alex, causing the brunette to make cute little moans that bobbed up and down with him.
Alex felt his eyes rolling back as he bounced on Eric's dick, his legs flailing up every time Eric rammed into him. The wet slap of their bodies was all he could hear, everything else getting blocked out. His head was spinning and all he could think was "God, more, Eric, please, more...."
Eric stared at him in awe. While biting his lip and moaning, his eyes studied every part of Alex's body. He wasn't well built or particularly sculpted -- he was an artist, after all, not a jock -- but he got some meat on his arms after all that time practicing with the guns. He wasn't sickly skinny, he had a solid amount of skin and fat, while still staying relatively thin. Eric always envied Alex's build. He wished he wasn't so lanky. He may have more muscle, sure, but for some reason he couldn't really gain or keep weight. He was strong, but tall and skinny. He wanted to grab at Alex's skin and bite it. Just put a whole chunk of it in his mouth and chomp down. Lick and bite and suck at every inch of skin. His thighs especially looked yummy. He worshipped Alex's body as he thrust into him. Deeper. Faster.
He's been wanting to do this for a while now. He just didn't know how to express it without scaring Alex off. He needed to coax Alex into the idea, but he was always too chicken and never knew what to say.
So when their last day came, he knew he had to do something. Now. Before it was too late. When Alex left for the bathroom with just a pair of boxers, he knew what he had to do.
And it was surprisingly easy.
He just stripped his clothes off and opened the shower door. Stepped right in without a word. And Alex didn't even react. Maybe it's because Alex also felt like they had nothing left to lose after today, so he didn't care to yell at Eric for being a faggot anymore. He just stepped aside and let the moment be still between them. A fully human and vulnerable moment between two boys who would kill themselves later after committing a gruesome, unforgivable act.
Even though Eric got that far -- stepping into the shower with Alex without him saying anything -- he was still surprised when it was Alex who said it.
"I never even kissed anyone before."
Eric felt his heart jump in his throat. Was this real? He didn't wanna ruin the moment but he's pretty sure this was real. His dream was about to come true. He'd finally get to kiss a boy. And not just any boy -- his friend whom he's been thinking about nonstop for years.
And now they're here, a lot farther along than Eric could've ever expected. His entire cock was thrust into his friend's tight hole, and he's never been happier.
"Alex, Alex --" Eric panted, grabbing Alex's attention, prying him away from his mind-fucked trance.
"What?" Alex huffed back, completely unprepared for what Eric was about to say.
"I love you."
Alex stiffened, causing Eric to groan as his cock squeezed. He held his head up, looking into Eric's eyes, and he tightened his hold around Eric's neck.
Eric slowed down as he noticed Alex wasn't reacting anymore. Not saying a word, not moving his hips in rhythm with Eric's thrusts anymore, just his eyes piercing through Eric's, searching for answers.
"What did you say...?" Alex whispered, baffled. The question was neither good nor bad, so Eric had to tread lightly. Sometimes it was impossible to read Alex.
"I..." Eric started, thinking he did something wrong again and getting cold feet. He took a deep breath.
"I love you, Alex."
Tears started forming in Alex's eyes, so he quickly wiped them away. "I..." he furrowed his brow. "Eric?"
"Yes?"
"I think I love you, too."
Eric grinned. That beautiful, goofy, lopsided grin of his that lit up his eyes and made them sparkle. Alex couldn't believe he never noticed how beautiful Eric's eyes were until now. Alex felt an enormous weight lift off his shoulders, like finally admitting that he was in love with his best friend was what he needed to calm the storm in his brain. His frustrations seemed to melt away and his heart felt lighter. He rested his forehead against Eric's shoulder and sobbed.
"You alright?" Eric gently said, rubbing his back soothingly.
Alex breathed in heavily, the emotions running through him wracking his entire body. After taking some deep breaths, he was finally able to get a sentence out. "Yes, fuck... yes, yeah. Yeah. I am, Eric. Thank you."
"Of course, love," Eric whispered, resting his own head against Alex's shoulders, burying his face in the brunette's neck. They cuddled like that, resting within each other, Eric's hand palming circles on Alex's back, until Alex took a deep breath and brought his head up.
"Alright," he breathed out, feeling a lot calmer. "I'm okay now. You can continue fucking me in the ass," he smiled, finding the whole moment absurd and humorous.
Eric laughed and Alex giggled with him. This was certainly the most eventful shower either of them have ever had. Eric peppered sweet kisses around Alex's body as his friend laughed with glee, slowly picking up the pace of his hips. Alex hummed contently as Eric eased them into a slower, simpler rhythm than before. They weren't as hungry or desperate as they were previously, as if finally admitting everything and airing out their vulnerable thoughts mellowed them out. They moved as if they had all the time in the world.
And maybe they did, Alex thought. Maybe they did.
It wasn't long before Alex felt himself reaching his peak, and the noises coming from Eric seemed to indicate the blond was as well.
"Huff -- Alex, God, Alex!!" Eric panted, his mind filled with nothing but the sensation of Alex wrapped around his cock. Alex whined in agreement, not able to get any words out, less they be a nonsensical garbled mess.
Alex managed to grunt, "I'm feeling... I'm feeling it, Eric, fuck-" he whined again, his head throwing back against the tile. He gasped as Eric wrapped his hand around his cock, pumping it out as they came together. The brunette moaned as he came over Eric's hand and chest, and just as soon as it happened, it was washed down with the water. Alex felt as Eric spurted into his hole, a thick liquid filling him up. It was kinda gross, and Alex wasn't excited to clean it up, but that was a problem for future him. Right now, all he could think about was being in Eric's arms, breathing heavily with him as Eric slowly put Alex's legs down.
"Fuck, that was...." Eric whispered, his face bright red as he looked away.
Alex felt something come over him, and he placed his hand on Eric's cheek to gently face him. He gave Eric a sweet, deep kiss, and felt as the blond sighed into it. They broke apart and just looked into each other's eyes for a moment, before giggling.
"We should get cleaned up," Alex whispered.
Eric grinned and said, "Yeah. I think that's why we came into shower in the first place."
As Eric backed up to give Alex his space, Alex felt wobbly on his legs, struggling to stand. He fell forward, catching himself in Eric's arms.
"Woah- hey, sorry," Eric said, concern on his face. "Was I too rough?"
Alex frowned and looked down. Now that the rush was over, he could indeed feel that his legs and asshole ached just a tad. "Maybe, but that's okay...."
"Can you walk?" Eric asked, backing away from Alex to give him space to move around.
Alex stepped forward, his tired legs too wobbly to go very far. "Uh... I'll be fine," he blushed deeply and looked away from Eric. Fuck, this was embarrassing. "Just... gotta rest, is all...."
"Here, let me help you," Eric said as he grabbed the body wash and a body scrubber from the shelf on the wall.
"No, you don't have to-" Alex started, but Eric shushed him.
"Dude, it's fine, just let me take care of you," Eric said quietly, pouring the soap onto the scrubber.
Alex looked at him in shock.
Let me take care of you.
Oh, Alex was fucked.
So he surrendered to his friend, letting Eric help him wash himself. After Alex's body was clean, he grabbed the shampoo from the shelf and sat down on the cold tile. Eric washed his own body as Alex scrubbed his hair. Though he was a lot calmer now, his heart was still racing from what Eric said. He looked down at the ground, watching the water swirl around the drain as he lathered the soap into his hair, the back and forth of his hands soothing him.
"Oh, that's fucking gross," Eric said, pointing at Alex. Alex, confused, looked around.
"What?" He followed Eric's finger, which was pointing at Alex's ass. "Oh, that is nasty," he gagged upon seeing the white liquid seeping out of his asshole.
They finished cleaning up and finally turned off the water. The bathroom was steamy and suffocating, so Alex opened up the bathroom door and felt the immediate rush of cold air battle against the steam. They got a couple towels and dried their hair and chests, then they tied the towels around their waists. Alex felt a little more stable on his feet now, and made his way towards his bed. He flopped down on it, not caring that he was still a little damp. Eric, walking past the couch, flopped down next to him on the bed.
"Ugh, there's not enough room, fatty," Alex groaned, making a weak attmept at pushing Eric off of his small bed.
"Then make room," Eric hummed as he wrapped his arms around Alex, snuggling into him. Alex didn't have the energy to push him away, and simply rested his arm over his eyes.
After awhile of laying there, catching their breaths and calming down, Eric nervously spoke up.
"So... what do we do now?" he sheepishly asked, worry prevalent in his quiet tone.
Alex mulled it over. He wasn't angry anymore, at least not right now, not today. Fucking Eric kind of calmed his racing mind. He didn't really feel like doing anything violent right now. All his energy had been sapped out of him, gone down the drain with the shower water. He couldn't even push Eric off his bed right now, much less pick up a gun.
Alex sighed heavily. Eric tensed, waiting for his answer.
Alex brought his arm down from his face and looked up at his ceiling.
"I don't feel like doing anything today," he said before glancing over at Eric. "Guess our plans are cancelled."
Eric grinned, then coughed to cover up his excitement.
"Man, that sucks. Oh well. Try again next week?"
Alex smiled. "Maybe. If I'm up for it."
Eric cuddled back into Alex's side. Soon, he was out, snoring softly. Alex didn't feel tired enough to sleep now. His mind was back to spinning, churning out thoughts at rapid speeds again. This time, though, they weren't as angry or violent as before. Just... curious. Introspective. He turned his body to look at Eric's sleeping face.
Eric was a dick sometimes, yes, and he did get in a lot of trouble. But how does that make him different from any other high schooler? Alex himself was bullied and he had a brain that never shut up, never left him alone, never let him calm down and think things through before he makes drastic decisions. He was violent inside, a heavy storm brewing, and he could be incredibly cruel and methodical if he wanted to.
But today, at the idea of death waiting for them at their own hands, the two of them did something they never would have done before. They let themselves feel. They let the ugly parts, the vulnerable sides of themselves, show. And they shared this moment together.
And that's what calmed him down. That's what calmed the storm in his mind. Letting it all out in a whirlwind of passion, shared with his best friend who he's pretty sure he's in love with now.
Alex glanced down at Eric's hands. He took them in his own, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles.
Maybe... maybe he could find a way to live with his fucked up brain. He and Eric were evil and fucked up and unpredictable. But maybe if they just... let it all out on each other, between each other, with each other... then no one else would matter. They didn't have to take others out with them. They probably didn't even need to take themselves out at this point.
They just... needed to stay together.
And fuck, Alex thinks. If it works, it works.
Through every forest
Above the trees
Within my stomach
Scraped off my knees
I drink the honey
Inside your hive
You are the reason
I stay alive