Chapter Text
So like Elon was super tired from having a baby cuz GUESS WHAT he had it from his belly button (EW GROSS) and also it hurt A LOT and he screamed so loud that one of the White House chandeliers fell down and crushed a painting of Abraham Lincoln. RIP Abe.
The baby was named Don-Elon Jr. Ultra Max Pro 3000 but they just called him Lil Covfefe. He already had a phone and tweeted stuff like “googoo gaga throw immigrants into a firepit.”
He was 3 hours old and already started crawling on the ceiling like Spider-Man but with political opinions. Then he ATE A SECRET SERVISE GUY’S TIE. Just chomped it. Everyone clapped.
Donald Trump was like “That’s my boy. He’s going to build a WALL made of LEGOs and bankrupt Pluto.”
Elon was like “nooooooo we have to raise him to be NICE and also maybe take over Amazon.”
Then Lil Covfefe burped and made a tiny explosion. Like BOOM but cute. A puff of gold glitter came out.
“HE JUST INVENTED NUCLEAR FARTS,” Trump screamed.
Suddenly Joe Biden crashed through the window on a scooter yelling “NO TAXATION WITHOUT NAPS!!!” and started fighting a raccoon that was maybe a spy.
Elon fainted.
The baby screamed and a Tesla turned into a transformer and punched a flag pole.
AND THEN—
ALIENS LANDED.
Yes, like actual aliens with lasers and slime and everything. One alien looked at the baby and said, “Ah yes. The Chosen One.”
Trump was like, “I KNEW IT. I always said my son would be president of the galaxy and also have his own cereal brand.”
Elon woke up and said “Did someone say cereal?”
TO BE CONTINUED IN: THE GALACTIC BABY CAMPAIGN: LIL COVFEFE 2025